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Video Information: 9.12.22, SPIT-College, Mumbai
Context:
~ Why are we so insecure?
~ How to deal with peer pressure?
~ Is peer pressure just a manifestation of fear?
~ How to deal with insecurity?
~ Why do we run after validation?
~ Why do we want people to like us?
~ How to make friends?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...
Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books?
Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...
~~~~~
Video Information: 9.12.22, SPIT-College, Mumbai
Context:
~ Why are we so insecure?
~ How to deal with peer pressure?
~ Is peer pressure just a manifestation of fear?
~ How to deal with insecurity?
~ Why do we run after validation?
~ Why do we want people to like us?
~ How to make friends?
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Good afternoon sir. There are many instances where we feel that we are not the best in
00:12the room or we feel inferior to our peers. So my question is, is insecurity even any
00:20different from fear? And how can we deal with insecurities?
00:30You guys surpass my expectations every time you pick up the mic. Is insecurity any different
00:38from fear? Anything more to that? Nakshatra?
00:46For example, like how we perceive, like for me you are confident, you are successful.
00:52So I perceive you as somebody who is confident, who is fearless. But then there is a very
00:58high possibility that you might have certain insecurities. So my question is, can we correlate
01:05insecurity with a certain kind of fear? Or there are certain differences between fear
01:10and insecurity? And how should we deal with it?
01:16But insecurity is much the same as fear. Where do you draw the line?
01:20Like for example, if a big animal is chasing you. So that is when your body triggers the
01:26fear that he might eat you or he might attack you. So you run away. That is one kind of
01:32fear. But then insecurity is something which is internal.
01:37You are talking of physical versus mental? Kind of.
01:42Even the mental insecurity you are talking of is largely physical. You see, for example,
01:48mentally you might be afraid that you might lose money or marks. As a student you are
01:56afraid you might lose marks. As a grown up one, you might think of losing money or let
02:03us say prestige, prestige in society and that is what makes you insecure. Ultimately, that
02:09is related to physical survival, mind you. Anything that you are afraid of ultimately
02:15boils down to physical insecurity. That is all. It sounds strange, but that is how it
02:21is. And how to deal with it, the insecurity? Like
02:25how should we? By leaving the fear to itself, you understand,
02:30we began the discussion by trying to understand that we are two. One is the body, the other
02:40is the consciousness. Fear belongs to the domain of the body. Leave it to the domain
02:45of the body. Just keep it aside. Ignore it. Don't fight it. You are not supposed to fight
02:53fear because even to fight fear you will have to enter the domain of the body. The moment
02:58you enter the domain of the body, you become the body. And the knowers have told us saying
03:05aham dehasmi is the fundamental problem. I am the body. The moment you say that, even
03:11in order to fight fear, you have succumbed. Ostensibly, apparently, you are fighting fear.
03:18But for the sake of fighting fear, you have entered the domain of the body and in this
03:24way you have been indirectly defeated. So what do you have to do? When fear arises,
03:29let it be. Fear is there. Ignore it. What do you rather focus your attention on? Ignore fear
03:42and attend to, come on, exactly the task that your consciousness is suggesting to you.
03:52So fear is there. But there is something far bigger and more important than fear. What is
03:59that? Consciousness. And consciousness is telling you what else is more important. You attend to
04:03that. You gave, for example, the thing regarding the animal. The wild beast is coming at you
04:15and you said you will run away. Not always, not always. You have a baby sister,
04:26like six months, one year old. All right. Or a niece or a nephew, small. And the wild beast is
04:36coming. You will run away. How many of you? How many of you will run away?
04:47You will first protect her. Even if you will run away, you will first pick her up and then run
04:52away. Am I right? And if somehow you cannot pick her up and run away, you will fight the beast.
05:00You will not run away. So fear will be there, obviously. But something more important than
05:05fear is there. What is that? Call it responsibility. Call it love. Call it time.
05:15Fear, you have to remember, is biological. Fear, you have to remember, is to the body.
05:23Fear is not to you. Fear is a letter addressed to the body.
05:30Do you open others' letters and read? Do you do that? So the letter has been delivered.
05:38The letter is coming from Mr. Fear. And it is addressed to the body. So what do you do with
05:49the letter? You keep it aside. Let the body read it. I won't read it. It's not mine. Let fear be
05:58there. You do what you must. Let jealousy be there. You do what you must. Let fatigue and
06:06tiredness be there. You do what you must. Let hunger be there. You do what you must.
06:13Let thirst be there. You do what you must. That's what makes you a human being.
06:18Or will you succumb to hunger and thirst and fear and greed and insecurity? Will you?
06:23Do you understand what I'm saying? You don't need willpower or motivation.
06:29You need the wisdom to ignore these things. And mind you, all your life,
06:36there would be a little bit of these things that will always remain because they are there in the
06:42DNA. They are there in the evolutionary past. Jealousy will never 100% absolutely go away.
06:51Some jealousy will remain. What do you do with it? What do you do with it? Ignore and do the right
06:57thing. Hunger. It will remain till your last breath. Should hunger prevent you from doing
07:08the right thing? Or anger? Or lust? Or any other thing? They're there. Let them be there.
07:17And acknowledge, obviously, obviously, I'm very angry right now. But I still do what is right.
07:24I will not allow anger to dominate me. Anger is there. I let it be there. It is to the,
07:31it is to the, it is not to me and I am consciousness. Let it be there. Fear is there.
07:40What do you think? When I sit in front of you, I don't face any of the bodily impulses I do.
07:49As I sit here, some part of my body might be aching a bit.
07:55The glasses here are clouded a bit. I might not be entirely comfortable with the chair.
08:05You sit here for two hours, and you start feeling a bit restless, don't you?
08:10Think of the one who is sitting here for two hours. And endlessly speaking, and even as I said
08:16this, this fell down. You see? Strange things happen. So all these things are happening here.
08:24Should I now allow this to affect my attention? No. This is something physical that just happened.
08:33What is it? Something physical, meaning bodily. Meaning bodily. I cannot give it too much
08:40importance. I have to continue. I have to continue. Think of a marathon runner.
08:48What is his body telling him? Stop. Please stop. I'm tired. I'm tired.
08:55Think of a Grand Slam player. Fifth set. Fifth hour. And the player is Roger Federer.
09:0438, 40, 41 years of age. What is the body saying? Every single joint is complaining and praying,
09:14please stop. What is he saying? One more Grand Slam. Who is saying one more Grand Slam?
09:22Consciousness must rule. The body must listen to the consciousness.
09:28The body is there to obey the commands of consciousness.
09:36Are you getting it? Yes, thank you. Who's getting it? Consciousness.
09:44Good. Sir, seeing how you have changed field multiple times and still found success,
09:51how do we know what is the right decision at the given time? And with the limited amount
09:56and with the limited amount of information we have? You will never know perfectly. You just
10:01have to keep moving and always be polite and modest enough to change when you see that you
10:10need to change. You must never be rigid and you must never, never commit yourself permanently to
10:17anything. Move endlessly and keep correcting yourself endlessly. Never get stuck to any one
10:26thing because it is impossible as normal mortal human beings, limited ones, to know what is
10:34absolutely perfect for you. At this stage, at this age, I still do not know what lies in the future
10:44and what is perfection. But what I know is that I will be honest enough to duly change when I
10:53realize that something better, something more important, something more deserving is there
11:02to be surrendered to, to be worshipped. I'll rather go to that. That's what life is for.
11:09Continuously change, continuously develop, continuously learn and be better. Learning
11:16is the purpose of life. And that learning in the ultimate sense is called liberation.
11:25Namaskaram Acharya ji. So right now on a path of self-improvement,
11:33you try to talk to your friends, like as my fellow person, he rightly said about. So
11:40in such kind of a demotivating environment where people are like, why are you doing this? There's
11:45no sense in doing this. Go out, live a little. So inside you know, this thing is probably not
11:52right for me, doing such degenerate things. So what should we do when we know that our
11:58peers aren't going to support us? I'm not kidding. You are living in a hostel?
12:05No, I'm not living in a hostel. You're talking about your friend circle? Yes.
12:08Friend circle. What about the friend circle? So the friend circle, they are not exactly
12:13supportive of you. In terms of, in pursuit of? In pursuit of your own development.
12:21In your development, okay. Yes. As in you want to do stuff, as in you want to get into meditation
12:26and then basically yogic practices and all. But still, the world is like, it's basically pitted
12:33against of you. See, this is not entirely right. Don't we raise monuments to commemorate the greats?
12:45So it's not as if the entire world is against you. The same world has worshipped the greats.
12:50Or do we worship the commoners? Do we? We don't. So please don't believe that there is nobody to
12:57support you. The best among the best are there to help you and support you. They are with you.
13:03Never feel lonely. It's just that accidentally, temporarily, for the time being that is,
13:13you might be just accidentally riddled with a not so high quality bunch of friends.
13:28But that's not your destiny. You can move on. Right? Also, even if you do not get the right
13:36companionship, the entire thing about spirituality is that it makes you strong from within,
13:44which means you become capable of being joyous alone. So even if there is nobody to accompany
13:53you on the right path, ekla chalo re. That's what spirituality is all about.
13:58Right? If you get the right partners, wonderful. And if you don't get them, even more wonderful.
14:06Don't don't hanker too much after friends. Right? Move on the right path, you will get fellow
14:15travellers and they will be worthy friends. And one worthy friend is better than an unworthy crowd
14:22of hundred. Is it not? It's true, sir. Very true.