How to deal with Anxiety? || Acharya Prashant (2024)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...  ➖➖➖➖➖➖  #acharyaprashant  Video Information: 22.06.2024, Vedant: Basics to Classics, Greater Noida   Context: How to deal with stress and anxiety?  Growing rate of depression amongst youngsters  How to better educate the youth?  What is right education?  Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~

Transcript

00:00Namaste, sir. My question is again kind of related in the context of suffering. You just

00:08said that tension shouldn't percolate beyond a point. And here, I'm in the United States,

00:13I live in Virginia. And here I see many kids, teenagers, 12 year, 13 year, 15 year olds,

00:21they have anxiety issues. And I see them popping anti-anxiety pills like anything. And even

00:28the doctors who they have consulted, they prescribe these pills openly. Now I understand

00:35that mental health is a spectrum and there are different kinds of help that a person

00:39might need, therapy or medication. But here, I see that problem as growing by leaps and

00:46bounds. Like even because of work stress, say I consult a therapist, the first thing

00:51that they would say is, yeah, pop a pill. Take this pill, take that pill, it will help

00:55you sleep well. So now these kids do that because their suffering feels very real to

01:00them. So how would you explain, even begin to explain such kids that, you know, it's

01:05not real. And they have a point within them that's untouched, when they're clearly not

01:11in the state to, they feel that they can't go on without these pills. So just wanted

01:16to understand if we can help such people. And there's a growing number here.

01:22It's not very complicated. It's all actually quite simple to understand. You see, you don't

01:30really have to convince them in the affirmative. You don't have to tell them that there exists

01:40a point within that the world cannot touch. Just have to stop educating them in the inverse

01:55kind of doctrines. See, the kid at 12 or 13 is yielding to anxiety and other sicknesses

02:14because for all these 13 years, he has been conditioned into believing that the world

02:25is everything. Right? That's not knowledge that comes with birth. That's something that

02:39the environment imposes on that kid. The world is everything. The world is everything.

02:47And if the kid has come to believe that the world is everything, how will there remain

02:53an untouched point within since the world is everything. Therefore, even the insides

03:00will be ruled by the world. Right? And the world as we know is quite fickle. And our

03:11real nature is stability or permanence. If you allow the world to rule here, then there

03:22arises a bewildering dichotomy. Your heart must be a place of serenity and stability.

03:33Whereas, if the world manages to penetrate your heart, your heart becomes a place of

03:42all kinds of fickleness, mobility, unpredictability, nothing trustworthy or dependable. It is this

03:55dichotomy that pushes you into stress, tension, anxiety and other related stuff that constitute

04:06the entire spectrum. It's not something that has happened at the age of 13. Continuously

04:17the kid was being told in ways, direct, indirect, subtle, gross, that the world means so much.

04:27The world means so much. Are you getting it? The dad was fulminating over some lost

04:43opportunity and licking his boss's boots and the kid was observing all that. What does

05:00that tell the kid? The world is everything. Just now I found dad shouting at mom and I

05:14found dad trying to somehow appease his boss. The dad is nobody. Dad is nobody. The world

05:27rules the father. So, the world is everything. Same with the mother. Same everywhere and

05:38same kind of content on the TV and on the internet. The world is everything. The world

05:45is everything. The kid enters the shopping mall or the supermarket and he finds that

05:56the whole spectacle is just so overwhelming that he is left with no space of his own.

06:10Every bit of his insides is occupied by the world. The world starts getting just too much

06:21respect from the kid, too much value. I have come to my teenage now. I am 13 and the world

06:36is everything. So, I must get a certain respect, value, regards from my peers. 13, 12, 14. These

06:51are inflection points. The psyche changes because of hormonal stuff and the kid is saying, you know,

06:59I must be appreciated by my peers because the peers are everything and not everybody

07:06would be appreciated by the peers and not every time at least. And when you are not appreciated,

07:15then you lose not just your self-worth but the self itself because the world had managed to

07:26occupy your heart. Your heart breaks. The onus is on the parents and the teachers to never let

07:37the kid get indoctrinated in such a way. There must always be a healthy contempt for the world.

07:45I am not talking of turning the kid mannerless or free of all kind of etiquette. No, no. I am

07:59talking of a healthy contempt. The world should not allow to mean too much. It must only have

08:11the kind of value that it deserves to have, not beyond that. The mother should never say,

08:24I love you so much because you got the gold medal in athletics. Love is a thing of the heart. It

08:32cannot be allowed to depend on a worldly event. The kid may or may not have come first in the race.

08:44We know how athletics is. It's a matter of a fraction of a second. So, is the mother implying

08:55that the silver medal would have meant less love for the kid? The mother does not know because the

09:06mother herself is quite ignorant. She does not know what she has educated the kid in. She has

09:13told the kid that love is dependent on gold. Frankly, that's the way the mother also thinks

09:23of gold. When the husband gets her gold, the mother serves him love, whatever that love means.

09:34So, now the kid is being told, you get the gold medal and I'll give you a special hug and a special

09:43dress or a new bicycle and the mother thinks that all this is motherly and loving. Not motherly,

09:54not loving. This is toxic and this was happening at the age of 7 or 8. The effects would show up

10:015 years later when the kid turns 12 or 13. Nothing specific has happened at 12 or 13. It was happening

10:08all the way. Are you getting it? Certain things are absolutes and they must remain absolute. If I

10:20love you, I love you. That's not conditional. Obviously, I want you to do well in athletics

10:28and in academics and in all other areas. But I will not say that, you know, I love you only if

10:37you earn so much or your grades exceed this mark. The fellow gains a lot of respect in the peer group

10:51because of the new pair of sneakers and you know these things mean a lot to teens and preteens.

10:58I wanted a pair of slip-ons and I went to one of these stores and there was this group of the

11:11ones who were just growing their facial hair 12-14 something and the way they were making their

11:21decisions, one would come wearing a particular pair and then there was a kind of plebiscite and

11:29the fellow was so concerned, actually afraid. He was looking into everybody's eyes. Do I have your

11:39approval? And then one stud, smarty, would suddenly take over and say, dude, you look like

11:51something. Some fictional character, I don't even know what they relate to. Here you look like this

11:58and now the decision is made. The deal is done. So that's the way they are trained to mentally

12:09operate. Now tomorrow some other pair of shoes and he is ostracized by his community and he comes

12:23home totally crestfallen. The parents won't even appreciate the magnitude of the havoc but his

12:33entire world has come crashing down and at that age, girls also start meaning something to boys

12:41and to boys and to girls. Boys start meaning something, especially if a girl has thrown a

12:48wicked glance, some kind of a snide one at the shoes. The fellow would remain in depression for,

13:01I am not trying to trivialize the whole thing, but these things happen and they are very important.

13:08They have to be addressed and the parents must address these things. Son, your worth is not

13:15decided by a pair of shoes. He has to be actively told that because the world and the advertisers

13:22and the shoemakers, what are they trying to impress on the kid? The more expensive your

13:29shoe, the greater is your worth. That's what the whole capitalist consumerist economy is trying to

13:40mold your kid into. He will measure his self-worth by the price tag of the shirt and the shoe and

13:48the mug and whatever else he carries and uses. You get it? So, this is what is the essence of

14:00spirituality. Spirituality is not really about sacred verses and that and that. It's not that,

14:10it's not about that. I'm saying it's beyond that. It's about that and then it's something

14:17beyond the verses. And this, the heart that I'm referring to, is the highest. This is what is

14:27referred to in sacred literature as Atma or Hriday or the pure self. But we need not use these terms.

14:37What's the point in using specific words? Atma is just a word. We need not use it. The real point

14:47is to remain world proof and that does not mean becoming asocial or antisocial. That only means

14:58having the right relationship with the society. Yes, I value you, you are society, but that does

15:04not mean that I'll allow you to penetrate here. You are dear ones. You have my regards and I care

15:14for you and I really want good things to happen to you. All that is okay, but that does not mean

15:21that I'll allow you to rule me from within. We unfortunately and mostly inadvertently educate

15:32our kids very wrongly. We let the world become too meaningful to them. Don't let that happen.

15:42My hope is, my hunch is, that a significant proportion of the mental

15:56health problem can be addressed if we give the right kind of value system to the kid.

16:12Yeah, makes sense. Thank you, sir.

16:18I forgot to say something and let me just add that. I hope

16:23the importance of the right kind of literature,

16:2812 or 14 is not really too small an age. The age of 5 or 6, there is beautiful

16:41and ample wisdom literature. They must be introduced and by the time they come to 12 or 14,

16:47they should have read at least 20 to 30 books that serve as armors.

16:59You know, the right words, the right message, once you really get it,

17:08it prevents a lot of nonsense from reaching you. So, that's very important. The moment you're

17:17kid crosses 4 or 5, the right kind of literature should be brought to him or her. If he can't read,

17:32then in the beginning, just through oral instruction and later on books can be given.

17:43So, that too is very important. A well-read kid will not fall prey to easy temptations or

17:55all kinds of griefs.

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