Taskmaster Australia S02E10 (2024)
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TVTranscript
00:00Ohh!
00:03Aah!
00:06Oh!
00:19Ohh!
00:22Aah!
00:30Hello and welcome to the grand finale of Taskmaster Australia Season 2.
00:43This is the final episode of the series and I am the final man.
00:47When I perish, so will every other human being on this planet, because I am the Taskmaster.
00:56Tonight we will see our contestants attempt their final set of tasks
01:01and by the end of this show we will have a series champion
01:05for which they will receive this.
01:08A chocolate filled gold foil wrapped statue of my glorious head.
01:15This is my tenth time introducing them and I'm almost sick of it
01:19but let's do it once again for good measure.
01:22Our contestants are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Tian, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford and Will Anderson.
01:37And by my side a man who yesterday casually told me that he wishes he had a USB port in his body.
01:46It's Tom Cashman.
01:49How's it going?
01:52Not too bad. I was just thinking, looking back over the last season,
01:55I've been asked a lot to blink twice if I'm not okay.
01:58And it occurred to me that's not a very effective way to communicate a secret message, blinking twice,
02:03because you could accidentally blink twice.
02:05I think the saying should be blink 17 times if you're not okay.
02:09Can you do that? 17?
02:1117?
02:16That was 16 because I'm having a ball.
02:21Ironically also what his sex robot looks like when she's malfunctioning.
02:27Alright. What task is first?
02:29We've got a bit of a weird prize task this week.
02:31Lloyd Langford was asked to bring along something he has never heard of.
02:35Everybody else has been asked to bring along something that Lloyd Langford has never heard of.
02:42APPLAUSE
02:45Probably the best way to get a gauge of Lloyd from Lloyd himself.
02:49Lloyd, what haven't you heard of?
02:51I was in a record shop outside of Newcastle and I selected a cassette of music
03:01and I couldn't distinguish the name of the band.
03:06Is that the band name at the top there maybe?
03:08I've looked it up. The band is a Belgian death metal group called Goat Vomit.
03:14Okay. Will, what have you brought in that Lloyd hasn't heard of?
03:18Well, it's an iconic Australian television character.
03:21This character right here.
03:25Lloyd.
03:26Do you know who that is?
03:27Lloyd, who's that?
03:28I don't know who that is.
03:29It is Humphrey B. Bear who was an iconic Australian children's TV entertainer.
03:34It was a bear that wore, obviously, a waist jacket but no pants and entertained children.
03:38But the good news was, never talked.
03:42We had a lot of children's entertainers in the UK that didn't wear pants.
03:49I'd stay silent too if my behaviour was like that.
03:52Ooh.
04:03That was at least 18.
04:06Jenny, what did you bring in that Lloyd hasn't heard of?
04:09Throughout this entire series, you know, like we know about Lloyd and Anne being married
04:14and Lloyd really loves Anne.
04:16We know that Lloyd cares about Anne so much, so I have brought him a manual.
04:22Oh, okay.
04:25Okay.
04:27If we take a look inside...
04:29Yeah.
04:38Yeah, well, this one's about you being rugged and dreamy and how you can have that boyish charm for Anne.
04:44And, you know, if we take a look at the next page, you know...
04:49Here's how to be a prince among men.
04:51And I also know that you have, like, a child.
04:53So there's a page in there about really teaching the next generation
04:57how to, you know, move forward and model your behaviour.
05:00So this is the final page.
05:02Oh.
05:11Can I raise one thing, Jenny?
05:13They're not married.
05:16And that has really ruined Lloyd's surprise for the end of the show he told me about.
05:23Yeah, well, when I allocate points, I might have to factor that in.
05:27Anne, what did you bring in that Lloyd hasn't heard of?
05:29I brought in...
05:30Oh, f***.
05:32What?
05:34No, nothing nasty.
05:35Decent shorts.
05:42Because I can't remember which episode, but earlier in the season,
05:45we had a task that was bringing something that's seen the most shit.
05:49Yeah.
05:50And you brought his terrible house shorts.
05:51His house shorts that make me physically sick.
05:54Those shorts that you brought in on an earlier episode were my house shorts,
05:59and they shouldn't be seen by anyone else.
06:03And I have, like, outside...
06:04You know I have outside shorts.
06:08So, Josh, what did you bring in that Lloyd hasn't heard of?
06:10Oh, yeah. Have you heard of...
06:11It's an Australian cartoon character.
06:13It's called Set It Straight, Shirley.
06:15You wouldn't have. I made her up.
06:18So this is her.
06:19I was worried there for a while, too.
06:22And what Shirley does is she, like, she sets things straight.
06:26So what she's doing right now is she's pointing at just a chess piece
06:29holding a sword.
06:32And another one, and another one, and another one,
06:36and another one, and another one.
06:39And the next thing that she...
06:43Also, and now what Set It Straight Shirley wants to point at
06:47is just some hidden camera footage
06:49that one of the producers took of you saying that you like me.
06:55Just sort of checking.
06:56I mean, it's not a biggie.
06:57Just checking by my sympathisers, but it's all...
06:59It feels sort of...
07:01Is he worried about it or something?
07:03Oh, just...
07:04No, more just me checking on everyone, I suppose, checking...
07:07Really?
07:08Yeah.
07:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:11I mean, obviously I like Josh, but it's just funny
07:14to be fake to him.
07:16So...
07:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:23Anyway, that's Set It Straight Shirley.
07:25She just sets things straight.
07:27She just sets things straight.
07:29That's all it is.
07:30All right, well, this is going to be a tricky one to score,
07:32cos I'm guessing, Lloyd, you hadn't heard of all that.
07:35I wish I was a child in Australia.
07:37I mean...
07:39HB Bumble and Set It Straight Shirley.
07:43HB Bumble!
07:45So I'm going to give Lloyd three points,
07:47cos he definitely hadn't heard of goat vomit,
07:49and I'm going to place all the others around them.
07:51So I'm going to give Jenny one point,
07:53because unfortunately she got him a husband book
07:56and he's not married.
07:57And then I'm going to give two points to Will,
07:59cos he definitely hadn't heard of Humphrey B Bear,
08:01but it was just a little bit boring.
08:05I'm going to give four points to Josh for Set It Straight Shirley,
08:08which no-one had heard of because he'd made it up,
08:10so definitely hadn't heard of that.
08:12And also I kind of admire the way you made a task
08:14that was supposed to be all about Lloyd all about you.
08:21But five points goes to Anne,
08:22cos Lloyd definitely doesn't know what decent shorts are.
08:25No.
08:26Five points to Anne.
08:30OK, Tom, let's set the stakes.
08:32We're ten eps in.
08:33What is the overall scoreboard looking like?
08:36Well, Anne and Lloyd are in the lead on 149 and 145, respectively.
08:41But it's tight enough elsewhere,
08:42the series is still very much up for grabs.
08:44Ooh, OK.
08:46How compelling.
08:48Well, what's first, Tom?
08:49You can have the day off, Taskmaster.
08:51Today I will give myself a hiding.
09:08What's happening here?
09:10No Tom.
09:11Tom go home, did he?
09:12Can't hack it.
09:14I don't like it when he's not here.
09:16It always means that I'm going to have to do something
09:18with a lot of exercise.
09:20OK.
09:26Oh, there's two tasks.
09:28Take this second task to wherever you like on the Taskmaster retreat.
09:33You must not peep at the contents of this second task.
09:36Your time will not begin until you open it.
09:38You have seven minutes to find your spot.
09:40Your time starts now.
09:42So I don't know what the task is,
09:44but I have to find out where the best place to do the task will be.
09:49That's a fun game.
09:54Yeah, that's a fun game.
09:56Yeah.
09:57Let's see where they wandered to.
09:59Who are we looking at first?
10:00Well, in the spirit of this task, I'll leave that a mystery.
10:03I mean, in a way it doesn't really matter where I go
10:06I don't know what the task is in the first place.
10:08I could go into the caravan
10:10because there's a seat in there
10:12and I could use a seat.
10:14I'm going to go in the bar.
10:18I feel like I might go to the balcony.
10:22Yeah.
10:24I hope it's not a game of hide and seek
10:26where I'm supposed to be hiding.
10:28I do not know what this is going to be,
10:30so here we go. Let's find out.
10:32Avoid being popped by Tom's camera.
10:34Tom has already begun looking for you.
10:36The person who avoids being popped by Tom the longest wins.
10:39Your time starts now.
10:41Am I allowed to close this?
10:48Oh, the fridge is too small for me to sneak into.
10:53Do these shelves move?
10:55Ah!
11:03I don't know where I'm running from.
11:08This is not the best place in the world to hide,
11:10honestly, from a camera.
11:12Do I want to move?
11:14That's the question, right?
11:16Oh!
11:18Dammit!
11:20I got you, Jenny.
11:22No!
11:24I feel despondent.
11:26It's a lot of effort to be rigged up with all this kit
11:29and then be instantly popped.
11:31I mean, it would be hard to beat how badly I have done
11:34unless I was hiding literally in front of you.
11:38I'd like to go somewhere shady.
11:42Avoid being popped by Tom's camera.
11:44Tom has already begun looking for you.
11:46The person who avoids being popped by Tom the longest wins.
11:49Your time starts now.
11:55That was quite fast.
11:57I was in camouflage on the ground.
12:00Oh.
12:08So, you didn't really wander far, a lot of you there.
12:11I had thought back to the task at the dock when Tom was there
12:16and I was worried about moving too far away
12:19from where the initial task was set.
12:21So I was just thinking,
12:23I'll just stick around here and see what happens.
12:25My theory was literally, I'll get on the balcony
12:27cos from the balcony I'll be able to see the best of what's going on,
12:30but didn't kind of think through that could also work in reverse.
12:34What was your thinking, Jenny?
12:36I just wanted a good seat.
12:38So, Josh... Yeah?
12:40..I have to admit, that was bad luck.
12:42No, I wanted to go somewhere shady
12:44because there's a lot of people out there holding equipment
12:47and I thought, if you're going to hold equipment,
12:49we may as well hold it in the shade, then...
12:52Well, Tom Cashman was under some very shady cloth there.
12:55Yeah.
12:56You should have maybe climbed under there.
12:58If I got under the cloth, then I probably could have held you down
13:01and stopped you being able to touch the camera
13:03and we could have had a fun, sexy wrestle.
13:06But, no, yeah, we all saw it.
13:10All right, we need some scores.
13:12I papped Lloyd within 13 seconds,
13:15Jenny within 21 seconds,
13:17Will within 30 seconds,
13:19Josh within two seconds.
13:22All right.
13:24Right, these four being horrible at hiding from Cashman
13:27and me being an expert in it means that, during this break,
13:31I'll take them for a little masterclass.
13:33See you after this.
13:34APPLAUSE
13:44Welcome back to the Taskmaster season finale
13:47where five comedians are doing their best
13:49to win Goat Vomit's greatest hits.
13:52How are they going about it, Lesser Tom?
13:54The task is to pick a spot and then open a second task
13:56and the second task is to avoid being photographed by me
13:59for as long as possible.
14:00So far, Lloyd has been bad at it, Jenny has been bad at it,
14:03Will has been bad at it and Josh has been really bad at it.
14:06OK.
14:08Well, the burning question, will somebody be good at it?
14:11It's all down to her. Here's Anne Edmonds.
14:14Well, I'm going inside. Bye-bye.
14:21Bit of behind the scenes here.
14:23I'll go in the make-up chair.
14:26Maybe I'll just touch up my make-up a bit.
14:28I might just join that in the middle.
14:30That looks good.
14:31What about a Marilyn mole there? That looks nice.
14:34Just put that...
14:36Bit more.
14:37There we go.
14:38Now I'm ready for whatever lies in here.
14:43Avoid being papped by Tom's camera.
14:46Tom has already begun looking for you.
14:48The person who avoids being papped by Tom the longest wins.
14:52I think I can, like, get in this cupboard here.
14:55Even if he comes in here, I don't reckon he's going to see.
15:13Not my feet.
15:24Hi, Anne. Hi, Tom.
15:26I've got a lovely photo of you. Yeah.
15:28Have you disguised yourself with a mole?
15:30No, that's just some make-up I've done.
15:32I was attempting to get into this cupboard, you see.
15:34OK. But clearly I'm stuck.
15:36Yep. I've got a few more photos.
15:38Thank you.
15:40That's good.
15:42Yep, that's nice.
15:44Yep.
15:46Perfect.
15:47APPLAUSE
15:52Looks like you did a good job, Anne.
15:54For what? Yeah. I followed instructions.
15:57Yeah.
15:58Yeah, so I got into the make-up room and saw that cupboard
16:01and thought, if I can get in there...
16:03Had I been able to... I mean, it was full of mattresses,
16:06so it's interesting that I still went,
16:08I can get in there.
16:09So what does that do for the scores for the task?
16:12Well, Anne managed one minute and 43 seconds.
16:16APPLAUSE
16:19Somehow, that is by far the longest time.
16:22That gives Josh one point, Lloyd two, Jenny three, Will four,
16:25and the winner of the task is Anne, with five points.
16:28APPLAUSE
16:31And how are we looking for the episode's scores so far?
16:34Well, the lady stuck in between the couch and the cupboard
16:36is somehow also our leader. It's Anne, with ten points.
16:39OK. I don't know what's going on.
16:41OK, Tom, let's keep the ball rolling.
16:44This is my line that says a task about pipe dreams is in the pipeline.
17:02Hi, Lloyd.
17:03Hello, Tom.
17:04Hi, Will.
17:05Ooh, a label maker.
17:06I've just got some questions for you, if that's OK?
17:08OK.
17:09What's your full name? Joshua Thomas.
17:11What's your place of birth?
17:12Melbourne.
17:13When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
17:16I mean, I guess my mum wanted me to be...
17:18I know it's very stereotypical, but a doctor,
17:20so I just wanted to be that as well.
17:22I think I wanted to be an actor.
17:23A teacher.
17:24I may want to be a dog trainer.
17:26A professional footballer, an AFL footballer.
17:29What are you up to?
17:34Oh, no.
17:39Apply for the job of actor.
17:42Apply for the job of teacher.
17:44Apply for the job of AFL footballer.
17:46Most impressive job application wins.
17:49You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now.
17:51How do doctors apply for jobs?
17:53So, they go through medical school,
17:55and then they tend to, like, let loose there.
17:57But then they also do, like, that test with you.
17:59UMAP. They do UMAP.
18:00You know the three things that that tests?
18:02Comprehension, empathy and logic.
18:04I need you to get me a dog.
18:06I'll see what we can do.
18:12So, pretty straightforward.
18:13They just have to apply for the job
18:15that they wanted to do when they were younger.
18:17Yeah.
18:18Who should we see first?
18:19First up, it's Dr Tian.
18:23Welcome to the UMAT exam.
18:24Comprehend what that is.
18:26A big pencil.
18:27Correct. Comprehend that.
18:28Banana.
18:29How am I feeling now?
18:31Extremely sad.
18:33Square. Square.
18:34What's next?
18:35Rhombus.
18:36That is the best UMAT exam we've ever seen in our lives.
18:40My God, I'm the top doctor at the top city hospital
18:43and I have no idea how to solve this case.
18:47I can do this.
18:48I have seen this before from all my partying years
18:51when I was in medical school.
18:55I can tell it's a human body.
18:58And comprehension means that I know that this...
19:04..is a rhombus.
19:05Oh, my God.
19:07She's made the best diagnosis I've ever seen in my life.
19:12And that is my application to be a doctor.
19:21So, was that application a gritty reboot of Doogie Howser?
19:25I'm sorry, what is that?
19:31Ironically, it was a program
19:33where a doctor who was really young was good at his job.
19:37Are you not going to ask about the head?
19:41Did you not think to go and reattach it as part of your training?
19:44No, this is the way to be a doctor.
19:48Alright, who's next?
19:49Unlike other boys in rural Victoria,
19:51he had a pretty kooky and avant-garde dream.
19:53He wanted to be a professional AFL player.
19:55Here's Will Anderson.
19:58G'day. I'm Will Anderson
20:00and I'm here to apply for the job of AFL footballer.
20:03I'm going to be no good on the field, but I'm amazing at boasting.
20:07Tom from Taskmaster News, you lost the game today. Why was that?
20:10Didn't lose the game. Won the game.
20:12Best game we've ever played. Best game of the season.
20:14We won it. Won it by a lot.
20:15Don't know what you're talking about. You're an idiot.
20:17Also, I'm great at distraction.
20:19Look over there! It's Tom!
20:21See? Amazing.
20:22One of your teammates slept with another one of your teammates.
20:25Good on him. Well done.
20:26That's what we like at our club, bonding.
20:28We're really proud as a bunch to be so close as a team.
20:31Here's what I'm also going to do. Deny.
20:33Deny, deny, deny.
20:35I've read accusations recently that your feet look a bit strange.
20:38Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
20:41Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
20:43I don't have feet.
20:45I'm Will Anderson and my goal is to be an AFL footballer.
20:59Did I just see Will Anderson do a good sketch?
21:02I think that might have been just what happened.
21:07I just saw a sketch and you made it and it was good.
21:11Yeah. Yeah.
21:12I mean, I was trying to get inside
21:14what could I do as an AFL footballer these days
21:16and I took a real, I've got to say, Tom Gleeson approach
21:20to answering questions.
21:22It was real.
21:23I was very inspired by you in the attitude of, like,
21:26whatever came my way, just embrace it, send it back to them.
21:29And I've got to be honest with you, it feels good to be you.
21:33It is. It's bloody great.
21:36I know, you get to say all these horrible things and call it humour.
21:39Yeah.
21:43All right. I think that was really good.
21:45It's going to be hard to beat. Who's next?
21:47He wants to be an actor so bad,
21:48he learnt a very convincing Welsh accent for this show.
21:51It's Lloyd Langford.
21:53Hello. My name is Lloyd Langford.
21:56I am an actor of incredible range.
21:59But don't take my word for it.
22:01Here, enjoy my showreel.
22:04Here is action.
22:10Hi-ya!
22:13Here is sadness.
22:16Johnny, you crazy son of a bitch!
22:19What have you done, Johnny?!
22:22What am I going to do now, Johnny?!
22:24Who's going to look after the kids?!
22:29Here is forest-based monster.
22:38Hi-ya!
22:45Here is restless baby.
22:52Hi-ya!
22:55Here is pornographic film star.
22:58Ma'am, your dishwasher is fixed.
23:01Oh, thank you so much, mister.
23:03How can I ever repay you?
23:06Well, I got some ideas.
23:12That was just a small taste of the many different acting styles
23:18that I, Lloyd Langford, am capable of.
23:21If you need an actor, I'm your man.
23:30To be honest, I just loved it because we got to hear you say
23:33here over and over again.
23:35I mean, it was an absolute treat.
23:37Let's play a game now.
23:38Say this word, here.
23:40Here.
23:41Here.
23:42Here.
23:43Here.
23:44Here.
23:46This is no just televised racism.
23:52Welcome to Australia.
23:58Now if you're at home to do the most important job of all,
24:01sit through advertisements while you wait for us to return.
24:04We're back soon with more job applications on Taskmaster.
24:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24:18Welcome back to the Taskmaster season finale where tonight
24:21one comedian will take home the big prize
24:24and another will take home Humphrey B. Bear,
24:26or as Lloyd Langford calls him, miscellaneous yellow fedora bear.
24:30LAUGHTER
24:32Tom, what's going on?
24:33Our contestants are trying to land their dream jobs
24:35via video applications.
24:36OK, who's next?
24:37She wanted to be a teacher, so let me be the first to say,
24:40good morning, Ms Edmund.
24:42LAUGHTER
24:44Principal Cashman.
24:46Thank you so much for seeing me.
24:48Thanks for coming in, Ms Edmund. Thank you, no problem.
24:50The main thing I think we're missing a lot
24:52in the education system today is discipline.
24:55OK.
24:56I've got a little student here, that's Phil there,
24:58and he's been a very naughty boy.
25:01One of the best things I could do as a teacher
25:03would be to give you a little demonstration
25:05of how I would approach this situation.
25:10Hey, Phil!
25:11How's it going?
25:12Good, thanks.
25:13You're going to be doing Phil as well?
25:15Yep, if you could not interrupt.
25:17I'm sorry.
25:18So, Phil, yesterday...
25:20Where were you, buddy?
25:21Where were you?
25:22I was up the back.
25:23No, you weren't.
25:24You weren't up the back, Phil.
25:26I was.
25:27You were.
25:28Oh, what's that smell?
25:29Haven't had a few darts, have we?
25:31No, my dad smoked.
25:32You don't even have a dad!
25:34We don't need scum like you, Phil,
25:36messing up my perfect record.
25:38Now I've got a little black stain on my record.
25:41A little Phil stain.
25:42You made a little Phil stain?
25:44So, that's more or less my application.
25:47Thanks, Principal Cashman.
25:49Thanks a lot.
25:54Ann, I'm not surprised to say that was disturbing.
25:59I mean, it's supposed to...
26:00It's a job application.
26:01Yes.
26:02And, I mean, I enjoyed it as entertainment,
26:04but I would not send my children to your school.
26:07I've met your children.
26:08You probably should.
26:15If my children watch this show,
26:16they'll be like, yeah, fair enough.
26:19Alright, anyone left?
26:20This old dog wants to learn a new trick
26:22and that trick is teaching tricks to dogs.
26:24It's Josh Thomas.
26:26Ladies and gentlemen,
26:28please welcome the amazing Josh and Phoebe.
26:32Today, for your amazement,
26:34the very good Phoebe will jump through a hoop.
26:38For our first trick,
26:39we will remove the leash from the dog
26:41and the dog will not go back to its owner.
26:46Shh.
26:49Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo.
26:52Choo.
27:08Yes!
27:10Phoebe.
27:16So this is a job application.
27:18Yeah.
27:19Featuring footage of you doing that job poorly.
27:23Yeah.
27:25We did spend probably 24 minutes
27:27teaching Phoebe to jump through a hoop
27:29and she jumped through hoops not on the show, though.
27:33Right.
27:34And I, you know, what I've always said,
27:36**** Phoebe.
27:39No, this is definitely the task I've been the saddest about.
27:44I really believed I was going to pick a dog,
27:47teach it to jump through a hoop, and we'd win a Logie.
27:51Well, if it makes you feel any better,
27:53I've got some secret footage of the dog saying that it likes you.
27:57I absolutely love that.
28:00No, I love that.
28:02All right, well, I need to hand out some scores.
28:04You do?
28:05I think it's pretty easy. I think Anne's on one.
28:07Her application was her doing the job badly.
28:09Josh is on two. Same.
28:11I'm giving three points to Jenny because the head fell off.
28:14I'm going to give four points to Lloyd
28:16because I just like hearing him say here over and over again.
28:20But five points to Will Anderson
28:22because the Will Anderson Sketch Show finally has a good sketch.
28:27Finally.
28:29All right, keep the task coming, Lesser Tom.
28:32Well, you might not be calling me Lesser Tom for long
28:34because in this task I debut a brand-new nickname.
28:41LESSER TOM
28:49Where is he? Where is the little fella?
28:52Into the caravan.
28:54Hello, Tom.
28:55Hi, Will.
28:56How are you?
28:57I'm OK.
28:58How are you?
28:59I'm well. I just did a coffee poo. How are you?
29:01Oh, thanks for telling me.
29:03Yeah.
29:06Throw something at Tom.
29:08You must announce your throw by yelling...
29:10Hey, fun boy.
29:11Hey, fun boy.
29:12Hey, fun boy.
29:13I like this already.
29:14If Tom catches your throw, you will be disqualified.
29:17If the Taskmaster deems your throw to be uncatchable,
29:19you will be disqualified.
29:21Most unco dropped from Tom wins.
29:24You have until the end of today's filming.
29:26Mmm.
29:27Your time starts now.
29:28Man, this is like a fun task.
29:31Chucking stuff at me?
29:32I'm not going to hurt you.
29:33OK.
29:34I promise you, I will not hurt you.
29:40I'm not going to call you fun boy, by the way.
29:43Were you wanting it to catch on?
29:45If it didn't kill you.
29:47All right, fun boy, who are we going to watch?
29:53They're my joint favourite contestants for this season.
29:55It's Anne, Jenny, Josh, Lloyd and Will.
29:59Your time starts now,
30:01but I must announce my throw by yelling,
30:04Hey, fun boy.
30:05Hey, fun boy!
30:07Is that...?
30:08Was that it?
30:09Did I only get one?
30:10Yeah.
30:11Oh, no!
30:15Hey.
30:16Hi, Josh.
30:19Fun guy.
30:23Hello.
30:24Hi, Anne.
30:25How are you?
30:26I'm OK.
30:27Hey, fun boy.
30:30Right, what's happening with you?
30:32Oh, OK.
30:33When the time was up, I sat up, I saw you immediately
30:36and I took this beautiful photo.
30:39Oh!
30:41All right, I'm going to be back.
30:46Hey, fun boy.
30:49OK, good.
30:52Do you think that was uncatchable?
30:54It was quite aggressive.
30:59I think it was catchable.
31:00You think that was catchable?
31:04You almost got it.
31:05Mm, I got a hand on it.
31:08Yeah.
31:11Sorry, Tom.
31:12That's OK.
31:13I apologise for that.
31:14Hey, fun boy.
31:27Brutal for me, this one.
31:29This one had the potential for me to make some classic catches in.
31:33And I made zero catches.
31:36All right, well, I have to rank them, don't I,
31:38in terms of how uncoordinated they make you look?
31:41Yep.
31:42Well, I'll give Anne one point because it just flew straight past you
31:45and you didn't even react to it, so you just looked like you missed it.
31:49And same goes for Jenny.
31:51It was sort of so quick, it just sort of flung in front of you
31:54and you just didn't even react.
31:56And then I want to give Josh three, but I can't
31:58because he didn't say, hey, fun boy.
32:00He didn't say, yeah.
32:01Yeah, so Josh is disqualified.
32:03OK.
32:04No, it's fair.
32:05I didn't say it.
32:06I don't get why people keep feeling sorry for you
32:09when you lose points because you don't follow the rules.
32:13But I can't quite decide.
32:15I think that Lloyd and Will both made you look pretty unco, beautifully.
32:19Do we have a side-by-side?
32:20Will made him look more unco.
32:21You reckon?
32:22Absolutely, yeah.
32:23OK, shall we have a little look?
32:25Hey, fun boy.
32:29Hey, fun boy.
32:31All right.
32:33That's easy.
32:35Four points to Lloyd, five points to Will.
32:43OK, time for me to be a less than fun boy
32:45and let you know that it's ad time.
32:47See you soon with more season finale madness after this.
33:01Welcome back to the Taskmaster Grand Final.
33:04We're not far away from finding out who will walk away
33:07with shorts that are far too fancy for Lloyd Langford.
33:11Tom Cashman, do you have another task for us?
33:14Yes, and I'm sad to announce
33:15this is the last proper task of the season.
33:17As this is the last time our contestants will see
33:19any action on the field,
33:20I thought we should all see some collaboration.
33:31Hey, Tom.
33:32Hi, Will.
33:33Villain.
33:34Ooh, hero.
33:36Hello, Tom.
33:37Whoa.
33:38Hi, Josh.
33:42Collaborate on a short action film.
33:44Ooh, this is so exciting.
33:47The action film must have a script.
33:50A hero.
33:51A villain.
33:52Music and sound effects.
33:54You're trying to be a villain.
33:56A hero.
33:57A villain.
33:58Music.
33:59And sound effects.
34:00Your job on the action film is written on your chair.
34:03Best contribution to the action film wins.
34:06You have 45 minutes.
34:08Your time starts now.
34:11Sound effects.
34:12Oh, my God, I'm the hero.
34:13Villain.
34:14Composer.
34:15Script writer.
34:17I'm really into, like, old kind of kung fu type films.
34:20Do you have a script?
34:21Would you like a script?
34:22It seems useful.
34:23It's an original by Lloyd Langford.
34:25No!
34:28You haven't even read it yet.
34:29I just don't know.
34:31Lloyd's going to come up with something underwhelming.
34:36Jimmy and Timmy Wolfe were two of the best scouts
34:38in the Shaolin Scout Troop.
34:40Did Lloyd write this?
34:41I can tell.
34:42The more I read the script, the less I sort of understand.
34:45OK.
34:46But the troop leader, Master Keith Snake,
34:48was always pushing them to the limit.
34:50And this is a case.
34:51Keith Snake disappears in a puff of smoke.
34:55I feel like I'm going to have to do a training montage.
35:02Jimmy whittles.
35:03Whittles?
35:04Yeah, like, carves bits of wood.
35:07Jimmy uses his scout skills to fight these punks.
35:12They try to kick him, but he furiously shines their shoes.
35:17Did someone say something about a voice alterer?
35:21Ah!
35:24Punches.
35:25Kicks.
35:26Headbutts.
35:29Bit of ear nibbling.
35:32Jimmy grabs a towel off the bar,
35:34wraps it around Keith's neck in a knot.
35:39Tightens it and kills him.
35:41And that's the end.
35:42What's this film called?
35:43I was thinking of calling it
35:44Unholy Fists of the Very Aggrieved Scout.
35:48Because I only have a small part.
35:50I've got to go big.
35:51OK.
35:52Alright, well, I think let's get into it.
35:54I can't wait to see my vision brought to life.
36:03OK, so I think we really want to see how this all came together.
36:07What am I looking out for?
36:09You're looking out for the best contribution to the short film.
36:11The best contribution.
36:12OK, and they're coming at it from all angles.
36:15Alright, let's have a look.
36:17This is the Unholy Fists of the Very Aggrieved Scout.
36:27Jimmy and Timmy Wolf were two of the best scouts
36:30in the Shaolin Scout Troop,
36:32but the troop leader, Master Keith Snake,
36:35was always pushing them to the limit.
36:37I'm not sure I can tie this knot, Jimmy.
36:39If you can't do it, that's OK, brother.
36:41You're Lord Dog, you have to tie the knot yourself
36:45or you will not get your knot badge.
36:52Do something, he will surely perish.
36:54I cannot get involved.
36:57Let the test masters assist, don't I?
37:00I am but a neutral observer.
37:10Avenge me, brother.
37:11And maybe try for a badge other than knots.
37:16APPLAUSE
37:23So, what are you looking for in a partner?
37:26I am not looking for a partner.
37:28I am looking for an evil scout leader
37:31whose callous behaviour allowed my brother to die painfully.
37:35And I will avenge him.
37:46BELL RINGS
37:53Boing!
37:55HE PANTS
37:57SCREAMS
37:59I wish you'd put that in your bio.
38:02Hey, mate, we don't like guys coming in here
38:05and misrepresenting themselves in their dating bios.
38:08What are you going to do about it?
38:10We're going to kick your puny ass.
38:12Scouts' honour prohibits violence,
38:14but these shitheads are going to get a good punching.
38:17BELL RINGS
38:19SCREAMS
38:21HE PANTS
38:23HE SCREAMS
38:25HE PANTS
38:27HE GROANS
38:29HE SCREAMS
38:32HE SCREAMS
38:34HE SCREAMS
38:36HE SCREAMS
38:38Oh, that was painful.
38:40HE PANTS
38:45HE GASPS
38:47HE SINGS
38:49LAUGHTER
38:53What is with all this commotion?
38:58Who the tonks on fire?
39:02Who?
39:04Who is this man
39:07with his shiny shoe?
39:12I have hunted for you for two decades.
39:14I have earned every Scout badge but one.
39:17You killed my brother.
39:19I am here to avenge his death.
39:21I will kill you and dance on your grave
39:23and piss on your bones!
39:25SCREAMS
39:27HE PANTS
39:29HE SCREAMS
39:31HE PANTS
39:33HE SCREAMS
39:35HE GROANS
39:37HE SCREAMS
39:39HE SCREAMS
39:41LAUGHTER
39:43HE PANTS
39:45HE SCREAMS
39:47HE PANTS
39:49HE SCREAMS
39:51HE PANTS
39:53HE SCREAMS
39:55HE SCREAMS
39:57HE PANTS
39:59HE SCREAMS
40:01I think you finally deserve this.
40:04LAUGHTER
40:06Maybe we should go on a second date.
40:09LAUGHTER
40:11HE SINGS
40:13LAUGHTER
40:15HE SCREAMS
40:17LAUGHTER
40:19I CAN HEAR HER SCREAMING!
40:24SCREAMING
40:27SHE'S SCREAMING
40:29SHE'S SCREAMING
40:33I'm pulling piss on the very aggravated Scout.
40:38I'm pulling piss on the very aggravated Scout, Scout, Scout, Scout, Scout.
40:46APPLAUSE
40:57I think we've found another recurring character
41:00the Will Anderson sketch show.
41:02You know what the best thing about it is?
41:04I refused to get out of character
41:06all day.
41:08Real method.
41:10We only talked to the crew in that accent
41:12that would just go through.
41:14It was a good fun day.
41:16Well you've all made a great film but I'm capable
41:18of creating drama and tension myself.
41:20I'm going to tell you
41:22who won that one after the ad break.
41:24See you soon.
41:30Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
41:37Right now we're having a film making award ceremony.
41:40Yeah, the shitty Oscars.
41:42Also known as the Shoscars.
41:45Also known as the Logies.
41:48That's right, we just saw the world premiere
41:51of The Unholy Fists of the Very Aggrieved Scout
41:54produced by these five right here.
41:56Yeah and I've got to pick the most outstanding contribution
41:58but I feel like I didn't see enough of Anne and Josh
42:01because they're a bit more behind the scenes.
42:03Totally.
42:04So let's have a peek behind the scenes
42:05and maybe see their work.
42:06Okay.
42:07Jimmy and Timmy Wolf were two of the best scouts
42:10in the Shaolin Scout Troop.
42:19Boing.
42:20No, they're going to miss that.
42:23I will kill you and dance on your grave
42:25and piss on your bones.
42:28It's mostly punching noises.
42:34Oh no, that's not too much.
42:47Okay.
42:48Thanks Josh.
42:49Thank you.
42:50Terrible movie written by Lloyd.
42:53Well I guess I should come up with some scores.
42:56So I'm going to give one point to Lloyd
42:58because the script was...
43:02Lloyd, everyone else in the production complained about it.
43:07So one point to Lloyd.
43:08I'm giving two points for Will Anderson's recurring character
43:11that's coming up in his brand new sketch show.
43:14I'm giving three points to Jenny for a wonderful performance.
43:18It held the whole thing together.
43:20Four points to Anne Edmonds for the original score.
43:23All that music was done by Anne.
43:25And five points for the beautiful sound effects of Josh Thomas.
43:32Let's have one last look at those episode scores
43:35before we wrap this thing up.
43:37Well there's two points in it at the front
43:39but Will has Anne slightly beaten with his score of 18 points
43:42for the episode.
43:43Oh my God.
43:48Alright contestants, I hate to see you go
43:51but I love to watch you leave.
43:53So get up on that stage for one last live task.
44:01What's going on here, Lesser Tom?
44:03Contestants, please turn around.
44:06Mmm.
44:08Oh my God.
44:13Why are you all making noises like you know?
44:16You don't know?
44:17Please read the task.
44:18I don't know.
44:19Build a marshmallow tower using the remaining marshmallows
44:21in the jar you've had in your green room
44:23since the start of the studio record.
44:32Caller's tower wins.
44:33You have three minutes.
44:34Lloyd!
44:35Your time starts on Tom's whistle.
44:40Did you like the marshmallows, Will?
44:44I was going to take the rest home with me.
44:49And I almost did that before we recorded this.
44:54Lloyd, would you like to explain what's happened here?
44:59I spoke to the director of the series
45:03and I said I've got this giant jar of marshmallows in my room.
45:07I would like to replace them with a jar of fruit.
45:13How long have we got?
45:14Three minutes.
45:15Three minutes.
45:16Prong.
45:29Did you ask for any specific fruit, Lloyd?
45:31All I can see here is mandarins.
45:36Two minutes left.
45:4190 seconds.
45:44Just pouring them out.
45:46I really thought it would balance.
45:4830 seconds left.
45:51Oh my God.
45:54Yeah, thank you.
45:5510 seconds.
45:56How even?
45:575, 4, 3, 2, 1.
46:02Hands off.
46:08Lloyd!
46:10Lloyd!
46:11I'm so sad.
46:12Oh wow, look at Lloyd.
46:14Wow.
46:15For all those kids watching at home, fruit is good for you.
46:20Alright.
46:21We'll find out the winner of the live task after this.
46:28Welcome back to an emotional final part of the final episode
46:32of Taskmaster Australia Season 2.
46:35We've got some winners to get to, Lesser Tom,
46:37so how do the scores look?
46:39The lowest height was Anne with 10.2cm.
46:42Josh got to 11.9cm.
46:44Will got 13.6cm.
46:46Jenny stacked 15.5cm.
46:48But on his healthy high horse, Lloyd, got 33.5cm.
46:53That means, for this episode,
46:55the winner is Will with a total of 21 points.
47:00Congratulations, Will.
47:01Go and get your valuable stuff that holds no value to Lloyd.
47:07So what have we learnt from this episode?
47:09Hey, fun boy.
47:10D'oh!
47:15Oh, no.
47:16Oh, no.
47:17Oh, no.
47:18Oh, no.
47:19Oh, no.
47:20Oh, no.
47:21Oh, no.
47:22Oh, no.
47:23Oh, no.
47:30Good on you, Will, for winning it.
47:33Give him a big hand.
47:43Alright, we made it to the end.
47:45Some doubted us even more than Will's parents doubted him,
47:48But we did it. We survived even after all the throwing, catching, hiding and shit shoveling that was Season 2.
47:56I'm proud to say we have a winner.
47:59So Lesser Tom, who is that winner?
48:03In a commendable 5th place on 138 points, it's Josh Thomas.
48:11In a slightly more commendable 4th place on 142 points, it's Jenny Tian.
48:19Then up in 3rd on 154 points, Will Anderson.
48:26But overall, the winner is love.
48:30Because no joke, on 161 points, a tie between Ed and Laura.
48:35Oh no.
48:38Oh no.
48:42This means we have a first on Taskmaster Australia. We have a season tie.
48:50What does it mean?
48:51Yes, what happens?
48:52We have a season tie breaker.
48:54So I'm going to give you both a pen and paper and then I'm going to ask you a question.
48:57You're going to have 5 seconds to write your answer to the question on your piece of paper.
49:01And we're going to see who gets the closest.
49:03I can't write.
49:06Oh, it's B.
49:08This is for the season? One question for the season?
49:10That's right.
49:12I was expecting a giant piece of paper.
49:16How much does the Taskmaster trophy weigh?
49:20Please write down your answers.
49:30Okay.
49:32You finished?
49:37Please hold up your answers.
49:40What does yours say, Lloyd?
49:413.6 kilograms.
49:43What does yours say, Anne?
49:447 kilograms.
49:46Let's look at the tape.
49:49No.
49:571.621 kilograms.
50:01Which means Lloyd is the winner.
50:10Congratulations.
50:11You win my head.
50:14Alright, truly ridiculous.
50:15Congratulations to Lloyd.
50:17Goodnight!
50:27Let me feel it.
50:31Let me feel it.
50:47That's very nice.
50:49Hi, Tom.
50:52I think I'm having an aneurysm.
50:56There we go.
50:57F*** you.
51:02Tom, come on.
51:03Bye.
51:04Oh, God.