Mindy and Jodi, decide to get their revenge by uniting the outcasts of the school against her and her circle of friends HD ( Comedy )
Mindy and Jodi, decide to get their revenge by uniting the outcasts of the school against her and her circle of friends HD ( Comedy )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Richard Nixon High wasn't the worst place to spend four years, well, for the most part.
00:00:16By and large, it was your average suburban high school, full of self-segregated cliques
00:00:24and stereotypical angst.
00:00:27And at the top of the food chain, the rich and beautiful.
00:00:30That's us, in the background.
00:00:33There's me, Mindy Lipschitz, the assault victim.
00:00:38And the girl with the home alone look on her face.
00:00:40Oh, thanks.
00:00:41That's Jodi, my best friend. We've been best friends since third grade.
00:00:46I'm the one with the unfortunate eye patch.
00:00:52As you can see, high school kind of sucked for us.
00:00:55And so did Jodi's aim.
00:00:57Zombie fascist!
00:01:00Intended target, Whitney Bennett.
00:01:03Voted most likely to be charged with war crimes.
00:01:06She was five feet, seven inches of sculpted, flawless sociopath.
00:01:13Actual target.
00:01:16Son of a...
00:01:17Principal Whitmore.
00:01:18Tormenting students since 1979.
00:01:22No, I'm sorry!
00:01:24And that's how this whole thing started.
00:01:27The rock that launched a revolution.
00:01:35X-Files is on tonight.
00:01:37Can't. I have homework.
00:01:40What the F?
00:01:42We get attention and Whitney does a hair flip and gets off scot-free?
00:01:46Well, if it makes you feel any better in at least one of the infinite multiverses, she doesn't.
00:01:53Hey, I know it seems like high school is the center of this universe right now.
00:01:57Do not say it gets better.
00:01:58Next year you'll be in Nerdvana at MIT and I'll still be here,
00:02:02serving quadruple bypass burgers at TGI Fridays.
00:02:04Or you could be serving an entirely new and decidedly classier set in Boston
00:02:10when you come to root with me.
00:02:11Great!
00:02:12So in every multiverse you know of, I'm still waiting tables.
00:02:17That's awesome.
00:02:18I gotta go. I've got family jazzercise at five.
00:02:22It's gonna get physical!
00:02:26Good luck with that jazzercising!
00:02:29I'm in control!
00:02:32Weirdo!
00:02:33Maniacs!
00:02:42Hey, Dad!
00:02:43Hey, hon.
00:02:48Something smells scrumdiddlyicious.
00:02:53How was school?
00:02:55Oh, you know, legalized torture paid for by the American taxpayer.
00:03:02Did you make the appointment with the college counselor?
00:03:05Jodi, you're graduating this year.
00:03:06I think it's time you figured out where you're headed.
00:03:08Most likely into a menial job that doesn't pay a living wage
00:03:11so I can become a cog in the 21st century's version of serfdom.
00:03:14When did you start speaking like Trotsky?
00:03:16Look, I just want you to be happy.
00:03:18I want you to find something that you love.
00:03:21Follow your dreams.
00:03:22So a single 40-something postal carrier with a PES collection
00:03:26was what you put under your yearbook photo?
00:03:28Hey, this PES collection is gonna be valuable to me.
00:03:30I'm not gonna let it go to waste.
00:03:33Hey, this PES collection is gonna be valuable one day.
00:03:36And single and widow are two completely different things.
00:03:42I know.
00:03:46Dad, I mean, it's been five years.
00:03:48You know, you're not getting any younger.
00:03:50Age is just a number.
00:03:52That closely correlates with death.
00:03:54You want me to start dating?
00:03:57I just want you to find something you love, Herb.
00:04:00Follow your dreams.
00:04:03I'll find a date if you find a direction.
00:04:06One of those things is a lot easier than the other.
00:04:09It's not finding a date.
00:04:10And it's not finding a direction.
00:04:27All right, so here's a new song.
00:04:29I hope you enjoy it.
00:04:30And by you, I mean me.
00:04:32Because I'd rather admit that Taylor Swift's music
00:04:34has touched my cold, dark heart than show it to anybody.
00:04:38It's called Suburbageddon.
00:04:46We're nearly there and we'll be on the test next week.
00:04:49Uh, hey, Mindy, could you, uh, stick around for a nanosecond?
00:04:55Oh!
00:04:57Did my spectrophotometer malfunction?
00:04:59I knew I should have gotten that first set.
00:05:00Hey, slow down, Sonic.
00:05:02I spoke with my old roommate who is on the alumni board at MIT,
00:05:06and she agreed to set up a special interview for you.
00:05:11Are you serious?
00:05:12As a radiation leak.
00:05:13Oh, my God, this is perfect.
00:05:15Okay, next step, AC interview.
00:05:17Then get in, obviously.
00:05:18Get first pick for all my classes.
00:05:20Graduate with honors.
00:05:21And then it'll set me up for one of the more
00:05:23prestigious graduate programs.
00:05:24Mindy, one step at a time.
00:05:26College is about more than just classes and grades.
00:05:29It's about exploring, having fun.
00:05:32I mean, I remember staying up all night with my friends,
00:05:36solving proofs, cracking equations.
00:05:38It was pretty wild.
00:05:41But some of my best memories are just hanging out,
00:05:44meeting new people, living on the edge.
00:05:46God, I miss college.
00:05:48Well, in my experience, meeting new people
00:05:51usually leads to relentless mockery by said people.
00:05:54Don't you think that's a little pessimistic?
00:05:55Give people a chance.
00:05:57They can often surprise you.
00:05:58That is a point worth considering, Mr. Samuels.
00:06:01Go forth. Go!
00:06:03The world is ready to embrace you.
00:06:08Boo, loser.
00:06:10Eventually.
00:06:15Since Mr. Samuels was basically my real-life Yoda,
00:06:18I knew he was right.
00:06:19He'd proven it was time to give people a chance.
00:06:22I think we should ask Whitney to stop torturing us.
00:06:25Did you forget to wear your gas mask in lab again?
00:06:27Whitney's a person, too, right?
00:06:29If we approach her like confident, mature adults,
00:06:32she will respect us, and then we can coexist in peace.
00:06:35Of all the douche nozzles in this school,
00:06:37Whitney is the worst.
00:06:39She hasn't been that horrible.
00:06:41There you go!
00:06:45Ow!
00:06:50What the...
00:06:51Okay, fine.
00:06:53But it's this or suffer from abject humiliation
00:06:56for the rest of the year.
00:07:00So I said to her,
00:07:02if you don't stay away from Rick,
00:07:04I will call the police and say that you molested my cat.
00:07:08And you have to register for that.
00:07:11I'm here.
00:07:12Took you long enough.
00:07:14One center cut, rare.
00:07:16Three meatball subs, extra sauce.
00:07:18A hard-boiled egg.
00:07:20And a kombucha.
00:07:22I'm going to die a virgin and you don't even care?
00:07:25Shh.
00:07:28Are you guys selling band candy or something?
00:07:31Actually, no.
00:07:32We were wondering if we could talk to Whitney for a second.
00:07:35Do you have an appointment?
00:07:36It's fine, Mackenzie.
00:07:37I want to hear what Bill Nye and the lesbian have to say.
00:07:48Look, we know that there has been some bad blood
00:07:51between us throughout the years,
00:07:53but we are seniors now
00:07:55and there is no reason why we can't finish off the school year
00:07:58being civil to each other.
00:08:00We thought that if we came and spoke to you like adults,
00:08:03we could come to some sort of mutually beneficial agreement.
00:08:07Wow.
00:08:09I applaud your courage.
00:08:14Okay.
00:08:15Wait, what?
00:08:16It didn't occur to me until this exact moment
00:08:19that I kind of respect you.
00:08:21You didn't change yourself to blend in,
00:08:22which is much more than could be said
00:08:24for the rest of these automatons.
00:08:26Well, I'm glad we could come to this understanding.
00:08:29Actually, Colin's throwing a party this Saturday.
00:08:32You should come.
00:08:37Thank you for coming.
00:08:39Friends don't let friends drive drugs.
00:08:45The mean attractiveness of this party
00:08:48is statistically significant.
00:08:50How do we look?
00:08:52Soccer ball goes to the Olive Garden.
00:08:55I guess we shouldn't.
00:08:57Colin!
00:08:58Oh, perfect.
00:09:00Thank you for hosting us.
00:09:02We had a lot of fun.
00:09:04Thank you for hosting us.
00:09:05You have a lovely home.
00:09:07My mom says never come to a party empty-handed.
00:09:09Sweet.
00:09:10Oh.
00:09:18Have fun, baby.
00:09:20Hey, bro, we got an X game.
00:09:24Oh, my God.
00:09:26Is that really how I just saw my first human penis?
00:09:29See?
00:09:31We are diversifying our portfolio
00:09:33of high school experiences already.
00:09:37That contains Colin's urine.
00:09:39Hey.
00:09:41MIT.
00:09:42And, uh, Wellesley?
00:09:44How's it going, guys?
00:09:46Well, we haven't been roofied yet, so...
00:09:48Wow.
00:09:49Aren't you enchanting.
00:09:51This is her trying to be nice.
00:09:53I'm hoping to get time off from this conversation
00:09:55for good behavior.
00:09:57You're funny, Wellesley.
00:09:58Thanks.
00:09:59Penn State?
00:10:00I'm Dave, by the way.
00:10:02We were lab partners, sophomore year.
00:10:04Uh, Mandy.
00:10:06Mindy.
00:10:07Mindy, like, uh...
00:10:08Like Mindy.
00:10:09Like Mindy.
00:10:10Cool.
00:10:11Any reason it would be awkward for me
00:10:13not to know your name?
00:10:14Not unless you're an avid follower
00:10:16of the piccolo section in the school marching band.
00:10:18I'm more of a tuba section guy myself.
00:10:20Well, then, I'm Jodi.
00:10:21Hi.
00:10:22There you guys are.
00:10:24Welcome to the one-percent.
00:10:26Follow me.
00:10:28Our pleasure.
00:10:30Good luck.
00:10:35Boy.
00:10:37Mackenzie!
00:10:38Go fetch some drinks for our guest of honor, please.
00:10:41Oh, that's not...
00:10:42Not good.
00:10:44Dorks!
00:10:45Balls!
00:10:46Now!
00:10:48They want you to play pong.
00:10:51Like, ping?
00:10:53No, beer.
00:10:55Oh!
00:10:58Come on.
00:11:04No!
00:11:05Drink!
00:11:06Oh!
00:11:08Come on.
00:11:12I think it's gone bad.
00:11:16No!
00:11:17That's just what beer tastes like!
00:11:22I don't lose.
00:11:24Whoo!
00:11:26Yes!
00:11:27Yes!
00:11:55Uh-huh.
00:12:09Whitney!
00:12:10Hello, everyone.
00:12:12Can I have your attention, please?
00:12:14Shh.
00:12:15Whitney would like to say a few words.
00:12:19Thank you.
00:12:20Thank you.
00:12:21Thank you.
00:12:23As you may have noticed, we have some new additions tonight.
00:12:26Jodi Schellenberger and Mindy Lipschitz.
00:12:28Whoo!
00:12:29Shit lips!
00:12:31So funny.
00:12:32After four years.
00:12:34Now, most of us walk past these two
00:12:36and have never bothered to get to know them.
00:12:38So I put together a little video of our very own Jodi
00:12:41so we can all learn a bit more about her.
00:12:44Whoo!
00:12:47I'll start with that one.
00:12:53Who's Jodi?
00:12:54Oh.
00:13:02Huh?
00:13:03Any requests?
00:13:05Ooh, eczema
00:13:07I'm gonna vanquish ya
00:13:10Yeah!
00:13:11Whoo!
00:13:14You're such a good kisser.
00:13:17I'd party down with you anytime, Adam Scott.
00:13:20Oh, my God.
00:13:22You know how there are the birds
00:13:25and there are the bees?
00:13:27How familiar are you with male anatomy?
00:13:31Oh, my God, Dad, I am 17.
00:13:3417.
00:13:35Got your tablets?
00:13:37Dad, no, I mean maximum flow.
00:13:40Maximum flow?
00:13:41I don't think that.
00:13:43Oh, my God.
00:13:49Jodi, wait!
00:13:53Jodi!
00:13:54Jodi!
00:13:56Jodi!
00:13:57Jodi!
00:13:58Jodi!
00:14:11You're late.
00:14:19How epic was Prankgate?
00:14:21I want to be you when I grow up.
00:14:23You're going to be in power next year.
00:14:25This is your new Bible.
00:14:27The 48 Laws of Power.
00:14:29I suggest you heed law number one.
00:14:33Never outshine the master.
00:14:37Your lawnmower man is, like, so happy.
00:14:41Don't wave.
00:14:43Mackenzie, drive.
00:14:48♪ Reach for the stars, cause you are my friend ♪
00:14:51♪ And you're killing it every day. ♪
00:14:58Hey, Jodi.
00:15:00It's me, your best friend.
00:15:04Um, I'm at school right now, and, you know,
00:15:08it is really, really not that bad.
00:15:12My bad.
00:15:16Oh, my God.
00:15:17Have you seen Jodi's Instagram feed?
00:15:19Someone tagged a photo of her on a box of tampons.
00:15:22That is really not right.
00:15:24Oh, my God.
00:15:25The prank was pretty twisted, Whitney.
00:15:27Even for you.
00:15:28I mean, how mental do you have to be
00:15:31to put that much effort into messing with a couple of nerds
00:15:33who are just trying to make peace?
00:15:35All I had to do was teach myself how to hack a webcam,
00:15:37figure out Jodi's IP address,
00:15:39and then trick her into responding to a spyware e-mail
00:15:41I learned how to write.
00:15:43You guys are demonic.
00:15:44You're like medieval to each other.
00:15:46I will not allow Big Bang Theory
00:15:48and her frizzy-haired lapdog
00:15:50to roam the halls of this school thinking that,
00:15:52for one second, they are my equal.
00:15:55Law 15, crush your enemy totally.
00:15:58Right.
00:16:01Oh, Jodi.
00:16:03Come on in.
00:16:05Remember that only my opinion matters.
00:16:08Hey, I brought you something.
00:16:12I brought you my favorite book on Tesla,
00:16:15who was also totally defeated and humiliated in his lifetime
00:16:19and has since regained popularity
00:16:22and had a resurgence of respect.
00:16:25Also frozen cookies.
00:16:27They'll be good in an hour.
00:16:30And a mint.
00:16:34Yes!
00:16:36Oh.
00:16:38Oh.
00:16:40You know, one day,
00:16:43we are gonna look back on this,
00:16:45and it is going to be...
00:16:47Just stop, Mindy.
00:16:49I told you this was gonna happen.
00:16:51People like Windy don't change.
00:16:54God, and I knew I shouldn't have clicked on that attachment!
00:16:57New Tina Fey series.
00:16:59Piccolo players.
00:17:00Tina!
00:17:02Okay. All right.
00:17:04No. No.
00:17:06No.
00:17:07We're not accepting defeat.
00:17:09Do we accept defeat? No.
00:17:12We are gonna win this one.
00:17:14I'm sure you understand the definition of winning.
00:17:17But this?
00:17:19Not winning.
00:17:21Hey.
00:17:23I am serious.
00:17:25We are gonna stand up for ourselves.
00:17:27Yeah.
00:17:29And how exactly are we gonna do that?
00:17:32By beating those fascists at their own game.
00:17:35We're gonna be popular.
00:17:38And not lame top 40 popular.
00:17:41Awesome popular.
00:17:43All of us.
00:17:45All of the people they have treated like second-class citizens
00:17:49and then copied their calculus homework.
00:17:51Popular people don't take calculus.
00:17:53I know.
00:17:55Because they are stupid dolts
00:17:57who are gonna go to below-average universities
00:18:00and get mediocre grades
00:18:02and still end up being our bosses
00:18:04unless we do something about it right now.
00:18:06Just like that, we're gonna overthrow generations
00:18:09of ingrained high school social strata.
00:18:11Yes.
00:18:12Is there anything we have ever put our minds to
00:18:14that we have not accomplished?
00:18:16Well, we didn't get Firefly back on the air.
00:18:18Shh.
00:18:20Besides getting Firefly back on the air.
00:18:24Then...
00:18:26No.
00:18:28Let's do this.
00:18:40And so it was.
00:18:42The revolution was born.
00:18:44And Tina Fey, if you're listening,
00:18:46I'd still play Piccolo for you.
00:18:50The facts were simple.
00:18:52There were more of us than there were of them.
00:18:54So all we had to do was convince the outsiders,
00:18:57misfits, and weirdos of the school to band together.
00:19:00Basically, we were gonna unionize the outcasts.
00:19:06Unfortunately, it wasn't that simple.
00:19:10Oh!
00:19:12Well, that was a lucky shot.
00:19:14Gross, but lucky.
00:19:15Yeah.
00:19:18Not again!
00:19:28Hi, guys. I am Claire.
00:19:30Ambassador, Troop 2579.
00:19:32Welcome, Claire.
00:19:34I like where your horse head's at.
00:19:36Going straight Godfather, huh?
00:19:38It's a unicorn for my spirit animal badge.
00:19:41You do realize that this is a meeting
00:19:43to launch a social revolution?
00:19:45Yep. I'm in.
00:19:47Whatever you guys need.
00:19:49Great.
00:19:50Well, why don't you take a seat inside,
00:19:52and we will be with you shortly.
00:19:53Yay.
00:19:57What the hell?
00:19:59We talked to pretty much every misfit toy in the school,
00:20:01and the only thing we have to show for it is Marcia Brady.
00:20:04Hey, club revolutions have to start somewhere.
00:20:06Oh, my God. Sugar Jones incoming, 12 o'clock.
00:20:15No eyewitnesses. Activate shields.
00:20:20I hear you're trying to obliterate
00:20:22the jackhole normative power hierarchy
00:20:24of this pathetic excuse for a school.
00:20:26Well, obliterate is kind of extreme,
00:20:29but, yeah, I'm in.
00:20:36Okay, we may be small in number,
00:20:38but we're all here for a reason, right?
00:20:41Right.
00:20:43Wait, why are we here?
00:20:45Jesus.
00:20:46If this is all we got to show,
00:20:47I say we just burn this mother down and be done with it.
00:20:50Arson sounds like a fabulous plan.
00:20:52If we need to get more people,
00:20:53we could go door-to-door like I do with cookies.
00:20:55It's an excellent way to bond with people
00:20:57in a place where they feel comfortable being themselves.
00:20:59Screw Girl Scout cookies.
00:21:01An obvious conspiracy to subjugate girls
00:21:03and force them into traditional gender roles
00:21:05by selling overpriced, unremarkable,
00:21:07and nutritionally deficient baked goods.
00:21:10We suck at this.
00:21:12This isn't a revolution. This is a girl band.
00:21:15We need someone who can work the system,
00:21:17Karl Rove, Good Witch style.
00:21:20Wait.
00:21:22Virginia.
00:21:23As president of the history,
00:21:25Young Democrats,
00:21:26Malta United Nations Club,
00:21:27I am...
00:21:28Virginia Vanderkamp had locked up
00:21:30most likely to succeed in third grade.
00:21:35Our junior year,
00:21:36Virginia launched the culmination of all her hard work,
00:21:39a campaign for student council president.
00:21:42She had a well-oiled political machine
00:21:44and several key endorsements.
00:21:46Vote for me, Virginia. Do you want a pen?
00:21:48Hey, Twilight, vote Kyle.
00:21:49But despite her best efforts,
00:21:51she lost to Kyle McDevitt,
00:21:54whose campaign speech consisted of giving out
00:21:56free Chipotle gift cards...
00:21:58You want a burrito, Virginia?
00:21:59...and spectacular abs.
00:22:01Oh, yeah!
00:22:04After a crushing defeat,
00:22:05she went where many a depressed
00:22:07and disgruntled American has gone before.
00:22:10France.
00:22:13Needless to say,
00:22:14she didn't come back from summer break the same.
00:22:17What's your shirt say?
00:22:19Hell is other people.
00:22:23Next.
00:22:27Oh, this girl definitely owns a pony.
00:22:29Does anyone else feel underdressed?
00:22:35Speak.
00:22:38Hi, Virginia.
00:22:40This is Mindy Lipschitz, Jodi Schellenberger,
00:22:43Sugar Jones, and Claire, the Girl Scout.
00:22:47We were trying to upend
00:22:48the social hierarchy of our school...
00:22:50Or destroy it.
00:22:52...and we could use your help.
00:22:54I'm not interested in your futile attempts
00:22:55to make sense of the world's chaos.
00:22:57Be gone.
00:22:58Be gone.
00:23:04We were actually thinking
00:23:05more along the lines of revenge.
00:23:14What?
00:23:19We tried to talk to all the different groups,
00:23:21but nobody wanted to join the cause.
00:23:23Well, of course not.
00:23:24You think all the outcasts are the same,
00:23:26but really we're like snowflakes.
00:23:28Snowflakes that hate each other.
00:23:30Let me break it down for you.
00:23:31You've got your basic overachievers,
00:23:33your underachievers, your emos, your goss,
00:23:35your bandos, your drama dorks,
00:23:37orchestra oddballs and gleeks.
00:23:38Then there are kids lost in Middle Earth,
00:23:40kids lost in space,
00:23:41kids who take up too much space.
00:23:43Your steampunk, cyberpunk, classic punk,
00:23:45kids with foreign parents,
00:23:46kids who are parents,
00:23:47Twihards, kids who try too hard,
00:23:49kids who write binary,
00:23:50kids who reject the gender binary,
00:23:51gamers, stoners, loners, anarchists,
00:23:53activists, masochists, and atheists.
00:23:55There are more strains of loser out there
00:23:57than the herpes virus.
00:23:58Uniting them under one banner,
00:24:00that is no easy task.
00:24:02So, we're screwed.
00:24:04I said it wasn't easy.
00:24:06I didn't say it was impossible.
00:24:10What is this place?
00:24:11It used to be my campaign headquarters.
00:24:14Prior to that, it was used by my father
00:24:16to house his miniature horse collection.
00:24:18Prior to that,
00:24:19it was used by my schizophrenic grandfather
00:24:21to interrogate imaginary communists.
00:24:25You won an imaginary medal for that.
00:24:28Man, rich white people are messed up.
00:24:30When I was running for office,
00:24:32I did a little research on the voters.
00:24:35So, this is where the NSA stores its data.
00:24:38These files represent the entire student body.
00:24:41Each one of them contains your standard class list,
00:24:43GPA, activities, hobbies, psychological profile,
00:24:46past and current lovers,
00:24:47and most importantly, weaknesses.
00:24:50No effing way.
00:24:55Points of weakness.
00:24:57Tina Fey, Piccolo.
00:24:59Jeez, am I that transparent?
00:25:01Overtly aggressive,
00:25:02lack of impulse control,
00:25:03militant with anarchist undertones.
00:25:06Nice.
00:25:07Latent Napoleonic tendencies.
00:25:11What does yours say, Claire?
00:25:13It just says Girl Scout.
00:25:16What's in your file, Virginia?
00:25:19I don't have any weaknesses.
00:25:22These three files represent the kingpins
00:25:25of the school's underclass.
00:25:27Convince them and you have a shot at this thing.
00:25:29The key is figuring out what makes people tick
00:25:32and then exploiting it mercilessly.
00:25:35I like you, Virginia.
00:25:37Even if you are named after a slave state.
00:25:40First up, Howard Chang,
00:25:42leader of the Young Entrepreneurs,
00:25:44Points of Weakness, Black Mock Turtleneck,
00:25:46Tech Savvy Women, and the word Billion.
00:25:49I get what you guys are going for.
00:25:51I think it's very innovative,
00:25:53but it's just not right for us.
00:25:55We're working on an app right now
00:25:57that's going to blow up.
00:25:58AjaVoo, Facebook for Asians.
00:26:02And besides, I've got to look to the future,
00:26:04not worry about high school.
00:26:06I still have to get into Harvard,
00:26:07then drop out of Harvard
00:26:08before I can start my first company.
00:26:11Here's to the crazy ones,
00:26:13the misfits, the rebels.
00:26:15You can quote them or disagree.
00:26:17You can quote them or disagree with them,
00:26:19but the only thing you can't do
00:26:21is ignore them because they change things.
00:26:24Do you know who said that?
00:26:26Apple.
00:26:27And that is why they make billions.
00:26:33Next is Martin Vimmel,
00:26:35head of the Science Fiction Club.
00:26:38Points of Weakness, hard sci-fi,
00:26:40the sound of his own voice,
00:26:41and very aggressive women.
00:26:43Okay, here's the deal.
00:26:45Just because you're a science geek
00:26:47doesn't mean we're your comrades in arms.
00:26:50Science is about what is.
00:26:53Any idiot can do that.
00:26:55Science fiction is about what could be.
00:26:58We're huge Doctor Who fans.
00:27:00Yeah, the Matt Smith years
00:27:01completely turned the series around.
00:27:03Completely.
00:27:04Tell you what,
00:27:05give me the title of one Neal Stephenson novel,
00:27:09just one,
00:27:10and I'll join your little group.
00:27:14You think skinny, anemic fanboys
00:27:16have a monopoly on the one fictional genre
00:27:19where women and people of color
00:27:21get to exist outside of backward societal norms
00:27:24and traditional confinements?
00:27:25Not to mention a genre largely premised on the idea
00:27:28that future dystopia is the inevitable outcome
00:27:31of the current system of patriarchal excess.
00:27:35Idiot.
00:27:37Idiot.
00:27:39Oh, and Kryptonomicon, Snowcrash,
00:27:43anything.
00:27:44Should I go on?
00:27:50Lewis Hammerschmidt,
00:27:52leader of the Fantasy Club,
00:27:54points of weakness,
00:27:55elven languages,
00:27:57heroic aspirations,
00:27:58and any woman.
00:28:01Whitney Bennett is the Cersei Lannister of high school.
00:28:05You guys are idiots
00:28:06if you think you can play the Game of Thrones with her.
00:28:09I'm sorry,
00:28:10but I'm not going to end up like Ned Stark.
00:28:14Lewis,
00:28:15think of it like this.
00:28:17What if Frodo hadn't left the Shire
00:28:19and fought against the Dark Lord?
00:28:24Dagra Ali,
00:28:26Lewis.
00:28:37Thanks for the ride.
00:28:40I'm really glad I'm helping you guys with this whole thing.
00:28:45I've always admired you.
00:28:47Really?
00:28:48Why?
00:28:49You're just so unapologetic for who you are.
00:28:52That's been a recurring problem.
00:28:54So, when did you know?
00:28:56That I rubbed people the wrong way?
00:28:59I haven't heard that one before, but...
00:29:02Yeah.
00:29:03Um...
00:29:04You know, I guess it was pretty obvious since I was a kid,
00:29:07but I really hit my stride in middle school.
00:29:11I rub people the wrong way, too.
00:29:15I mean, I haven't actually yet, but...
00:29:18I want to someday.
00:29:20First, I have to figure out how to tell them.
00:29:22That you're rude and obnoxious?
00:29:25That I'm gay.
00:29:27Wait, what?
00:29:28It's so great to talk to somebody who's already out.
00:29:31You're like my hero.
00:29:32Did you walk through the school with that sign on your back
00:29:34announcing that you were gay?
00:29:35I could not believe how brave you were.
00:29:37Okay, first of all,
00:29:39someone put that sign on my back as a prank.
00:29:41And secondly, why does everyone think I'm gay?
00:29:44You do wear a lot of vests.
00:29:47Huh.
00:29:49I'm sorry, I just thought that...
00:29:51No, it's okay.
00:29:53I'm really glad that you told me.
00:29:57So...
00:30:00When did you know?
00:30:02I think it finally clicked when I realized
00:30:04I didn't just love Veronica Mars.
00:30:06I loved Veronica Mars.
00:30:09Breach.
00:30:11I will see you at school, in the halls.
00:30:13You know, I'll say hi to me.
00:30:17See you later.
00:30:18See you.
00:30:21Things are happening, Herb.
00:30:23Things are happening.
00:30:26Yes, they are.
00:30:29New York Performing Arts School.
00:30:31Ugh.
00:30:32Deal's a deal.
00:30:33I have a date with Carol,
00:30:34and you have a date with Destiny.
00:30:39Find love today.
00:30:42Things are happening, Herb.
00:30:44Things are happening.
00:30:47Find love today.
00:30:49Things are happening.
00:30:51Raise your hand if you've ever eaten lunch
00:30:54in a bathroom stall.
00:30:57Been made fun of because of your weight,
00:31:00ethnicity, sexual orientation,
00:31:03or knowledge of the periodic table of elements.
00:31:08Well, it's time we did something about it.
00:31:10It's time you got to the point.
00:31:12It's been 42 seconds,
00:31:14and I still don't know your product,
00:31:16or your profit point.
00:31:17If you want to endlessly pontificate,
00:31:19start a blog.
00:31:20We have a blog.
00:31:21It's called Shut the Hell Up
00:31:22So We Can Tell You the Plan dot tumblr dot com.
00:31:24Oh, no.
00:31:25Here comes Angry Black Girl.
00:31:26Oh, I'm not angry because I'm black.
00:31:28I'm angry because I'm paying attention.
00:31:31All we're saying is that if we don't stick together,
00:31:33we have no chance of standing up to the evil empire.
00:31:36What you're proposing is like the Rebel Alliance.
00:31:39Star Wars, classic sci-fi.
00:31:41I'm sorry to interrupt,
00:31:42but I think Star Wars technically constitutes fantasy.
00:31:46Uh, in what galaxy?
00:31:48It's an archetypal hero's quest.
00:31:50That's fantasy.
00:31:51Um, yeah, set in a technologically advanced society
00:31:54with spaceships.
00:31:55And sword fighting.
00:31:56Lightsabers are not swords.
00:31:58What about the Force?
00:31:59That's magic.
00:32:00Which was scientifically explained by midichlorians.
00:32:03Are you actually citing the prequels to me right now?
00:32:08Why do we have two sci-fi nerds here?
00:32:09He's sci-fi.
00:32:10I'm fantasy.
00:32:11I'm fantasy.
00:32:12It's totally different.
00:32:13Totally different.
00:32:14But neither of you get laid, right?
00:32:17This is exactly the problem.
00:32:19What is a popular person?
00:32:20What makes them different from us?
00:32:22Attractiveness.
00:32:23Flawless skin.
00:32:24A large number of followers.
00:32:26Wrong.
00:32:27That's what they want you to think
00:32:28because they need you to believe that it's hard to be popular.
00:32:31The only difference between them and us
00:32:33is that they're unified.
00:32:35So while we're sitting here tearing each other apart
00:32:37over who would win in a battle
00:32:39between Batman and Green Lantern...
00:32:41Green Lantern?
00:32:43They're sitting pretty and ruling our school.
00:32:46So what are you asking for?
00:32:48Blind loyalty?
00:32:49That we just pretend we're all friends?
00:32:51No.
00:32:53Not blind loyalty.
00:32:54Real loyalty.
00:32:56We all have something in common.
00:32:57We've been kept on the outskirts of a school
00:32:59that we helped make great.
00:33:01And we are the movers and the shakers.
00:33:03We are the club presidents and the innovators.
00:33:06We are the ones with our hands
00:33:08on the beating pulse of otherness
00:33:11that make America the best effing country in the GD world.
00:33:16So I say let's stop bending over and taking it
00:33:19and stand together.
00:33:26And so it began, our Independence Day.
00:33:29At first, the changes were small.
00:33:31A smile here.
00:33:33A random act of non-douchebaggery there.
00:33:39In shared struggles, former enemies forged new alliances.
00:33:43Black cards unite.
00:33:48Some of us learned the ancient art
00:33:50of not getting our asses kicked.
00:33:55So I'll try not to hurt you two.
00:33:59Some of us combined forces
00:34:01to design innovative solutions to age-old problems.
00:34:04What's up, Turbo Neck?
00:34:05I lost my iPhone, and I'm gonna need yours.
00:34:14You've got five seconds to hand it over.
00:34:19What the hell is that?
00:34:29What are you gonna do, dildo-baggins?
00:34:33What are you gonna do, dildo-baggins?
00:34:51Get him!
00:34:53Come on.
00:35:01Smells like Comic-Con in here anyway.
00:35:10And once the outcasts became a united front,
00:35:12the rest of the school fell like dominoes.
00:35:15Political power?
00:35:17Check.
00:35:18Never getting picked last again?
00:35:19Come on!
00:35:20Check.
00:35:21I can suck it!
00:35:22And that is why the singularity is near.
00:35:27Debate tournaments were in.
00:35:30Organized sports were out.
00:35:36And slowly, things began to actually change.
00:35:40Dork was the new popular.
00:35:43We couldn't believe it.
00:35:44Every flavor of weirdo was breaking bread together.
00:35:48We should do something to celebrate how awesome we are.
00:35:51Yeah.
00:35:52Even the Goths look kind of happy.
00:35:55Guys, we just pulled off the bloodless coup of the century.
00:35:59And it is...
00:36:01Probably just a phase or something.
00:36:03Like, I heard Mercury is supposedly going renegade.
00:36:06Here's the truth.
00:36:08One day, I will be in a place where power
00:36:11isn't determined by acne, suburban sublitterates.
00:36:14And that place will be Princeton.
00:36:17But for now, I have to cater to these morons
00:36:21who apparently think pretending they're popular
00:36:23actually means they're popular.
00:36:25What's law number five?
00:36:28Much depends on our reputation.
00:36:31Guard it with our life, get it?
00:36:33We are our reputation, so right now,
00:36:35I'd say it's pretty clear that we are...
00:36:38Mmm. Toast.
00:36:40The thing about power is when you don't have it,
00:36:43someone else does.
00:36:45So, you say phase, and I say insurrection.
00:36:47And if Stalin taught us anything,
00:36:49the only response to insurrection is to crush it.
00:36:54Quickly.
00:36:56Stephanie, purple is definitely your color.
00:36:59Chase, good luck on that first chair opal audition.
00:37:02Sarah, your blanche du bois was transcendental.
00:37:06Hey, you, me, magic of the gathering.
00:37:08Fifth period.
00:37:09Woo!
00:37:10Oh, history Samuels.
00:37:12Methane!
00:37:14I'm just skipping.
00:37:15Oh.
00:37:17Oh.
00:37:18Nice balls, Milton.
00:37:20Yes!
00:37:21Yes!
00:37:22Yes!
00:37:23Yes!
00:37:24Yes!
00:37:25Yes!
00:37:26Yes!
00:37:27Yes!
00:37:28Yes!
00:37:29Yes!
00:37:30Yes!
00:37:31Yes!
00:37:32Yes!
00:37:33Yes!
00:37:34Yes!
00:37:35Weirdos and losers.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:40What's that?
00:37:41Yeah.
00:37:44Every scientist needs an arch nemesis.
00:37:46He's right, though.
00:37:47The school does seem different lately.
00:37:49You have anything to do with that?
00:37:51I can neither prove nor disprove that hypothesis.
00:37:55Well, whoever is responsible,
00:37:56I can't help but thinking it is exactly the type of person
00:37:59who would go over like gangbusters in an MIT interview.
00:38:04Gangbusters.
00:38:06Gangbusters.
00:38:10I don't know.
00:38:11I've got it narrowed down to two.
00:38:12I've got maroon and black.
00:38:14And I'm not sure which goes better with my dickie,
00:38:16but my dickie kind of goes with everything.
00:38:18And I keep thinking, what would Neil deGrasse Tyson do?
00:38:21But then again, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson.
00:38:23But then again, Mindy.
00:38:24Mindy, stop worrying.
00:38:26They'd be Darwin Award-grade morons not to take you.
00:38:29Keep imagining how great it would be next year.
00:38:32Me at MIT, you coming to live with me in Boston.
00:38:36Um, Mindy, there's something I've...
00:38:40Oh, oh, okay, I gotta go.
00:38:42That's my mom.
00:38:43Wish me luck.
00:38:44Good luck.
00:38:56But then in ninth grade,
00:38:57the Young Astronomers Association selected me
00:38:59for the Rising Star Award,
00:39:00which I accepted despite the lazy pun.
00:39:02And then in 10th grade,
00:39:03I won second prize at the State Science Fair
00:39:06for my project,
00:39:07Anisotropic versus Isotropic Materials.
00:39:09Okay, Mindy, it's clear
00:39:11that you're a really talented scientist.
00:39:14Yeah.
00:39:15Great grades, great test scores.
00:39:16But what makes you tick?
00:39:19What makes you special?
00:39:21Like, okay, when I was at MIT,
00:39:24I was a member of the Hacks, right?
00:39:26Learned more from pulling off those pranks
00:39:28than in any class I took, so...
00:39:33Well, as I mentioned,
00:39:35I am president of the school's science club
00:39:39and a National Merit Scholar,
00:39:41and I can recite the entire periodic table of elements.
00:39:45Would you like me to?
00:39:47I can do it.
00:39:48There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
00:39:50and hydrogen, and oxygen, and nitrogen, rhenium,
00:39:52and nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
00:39:54and iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
00:39:56europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
00:39:58and lanthanum, and osmium, and acetine, and radium,
00:40:00and gold, protectinium, and indium, and gallium,
00:40:02and iodine, and thorium, and thulium, and thallium.
00:40:04There's...
00:40:18Hey, tiny dancer, what's going on?
00:40:21What you listening to?
00:40:24Um...
00:40:26Bowie.
00:40:28What's that, Nickelback?
00:40:29Oh, yeah. Huge Nickelback fan.
00:40:31Love it. Canadian icons.
00:40:36You like Carole King?
00:40:37Makes me feel like a natural woman.
00:40:39Who can't relate to that, you know what I mean?
00:40:42Let's not forget that the last time I saw you,
00:40:44you and your friends orchestrated
00:40:45the most humiliating moment of my life.
00:40:48Yeah, okay. First of all, I'm sorry.
00:40:51I had no idea that was gonna happen.
00:40:53Do you think that anyone knows what's going on
00:40:55in American Psycho Barbie's head?
00:40:56No. And second of all,
00:40:58it's not supposed to be that humiliating.
00:41:02Except in all the ways that it was humiliating.
00:41:05I'm surprised you didn't change schools.
00:41:06But here, look, hey, positive side,
00:41:08eczema song.
00:41:09Pfft. Knocked it out of the park.
00:41:10Can you just not?
00:41:11Rickets. Do you have a song about rickets
00:41:13for my granddad? He's got rickets.
00:41:15I-I-I don't get it.
00:41:17Rickets, you wouldn't get it.
00:41:18You're a young woman. Very healthy.
00:41:19No! I mean, you know, you seem like
00:41:22you aren't a completely heinous human being
00:41:24and have at least a modicum of a soul.
00:41:27That is the sweetest thing
00:41:28that anyone's ever said to me.
00:41:30Thank you.
00:41:32How can you hang out with Adolf Whittler?
00:41:34Look, trust me, I know how awful she is.
00:41:37But what, you think you have a copyright on teen angst?
00:41:40Look, it's high school.
00:41:41We're all put into a box and marginalized.
00:41:43Look at me, I hang out with Colin.
00:41:44I've known Colin since second grade.
00:41:46The guy is an idiot.
00:41:48But what am I supposed to do?
00:41:49Not all of us have the guts
00:41:51to stage a full-scale rebellion.
00:41:53Mindy's the brains behind the operation.
00:41:55Wait, you just write the theme music?
00:41:59Look, um, for what it's worth,
00:42:02I'm glad you didn't transfer schools.
00:42:06My hand's on your shoulder.
00:42:08Full contact, shoulder touching.
00:42:11Pound it, blow it up.
00:42:13School explosion.
00:42:15Yeah.
00:42:16Okay.
00:42:17Oh, um, by the way,
00:42:20Bowie totally made weird awesome.
00:42:33Checkmate!
00:42:34Ha-ha!
00:42:38Yeah!
00:42:41Get him, Ryan!
00:42:45Yeah!
00:42:47Yeah!
00:43:09Killing it!
00:43:12People think pretty girls can't be smart,
00:43:14but it's like...
00:43:16Don't pigeon-hold me.
00:43:18Uh, don't you mean pigeon-hole?
00:43:20Ew.
00:43:21What's a pigeon-hole?
00:43:23What's a pigeon-hold?
00:43:24It's like, if you hold onto a pigeon,
00:43:27it can't fly away.
00:43:28Oh.
00:43:29It's like, let me fly.
00:43:32Where the hell is everyone?
00:43:46Ugh!
00:43:52Ugh!
00:44:04Hit it!
00:44:12Go, Tracy!
00:44:13Hey!
00:44:13Hey!
00:44:14Hey!
00:44:15Hey!
00:44:16Hey!
00:44:17Hey!
00:44:18Hey!
00:44:18Hey!
00:44:19Hey!
00:44:20Hey!
00:44:21Hey!
00:44:22Hey!
00:44:23Hey, Mackenzie, look at that.
00:44:26You like that?
00:44:27I think everyone's at the Ling party.
00:44:30Really?
00:44:30That's awesome.
00:44:33What the hell is your problem?
00:44:36Hm?
00:44:36You know what my problem is?
00:44:38You're, uh, you're super evil.
00:44:39You're, like, African rebel group dictator evil,
00:44:42I can't do it anymore.
00:44:43So I think I'm gonna check out the lame party
00:44:45where I hear the hosts aren't total asshats.
00:44:50You'll fit right in.
00:44:54I think I'm gonna go to that party too.
00:44:56It sounds like there's girls there.
00:44:58Dude.
00:45:00I think someone should probably scope it out too.
00:45:03You know, like do some double agent shenanigans.
00:45:08Mackenzie!
00:45:13Oh.
00:45:18Hey, so what's in this anyway?
00:45:19My own personal secret blend of choice chemicals
00:45:23and a dash of genius.
00:45:27I call it Lipschitz and Giggles.
00:45:30You're right.
00:45:31I do have the vagaries to laugh.
00:45:33Whoa!
00:45:34Looks like I picked the right party.
00:45:35Ah, Dan, right?
00:45:37Dave.
00:45:38Dave, Dave.
00:45:39Like...
00:45:40Like Dave.
00:45:41Like Dave.
00:45:42So, do you know anyone who can get me
00:45:44into the Whitney Protection Program?
00:45:46Oh my God.
00:45:48Tell me everything.
00:45:49And do you need...
00:45:56Who wants Lipschitz?
00:46:03So, Principal Whitmore gave you two months
00:46:06detention for protesting the summer reading list?
00:46:09I always heard it was because you threw a flash bomb
00:46:12into Gleek Club.
00:46:13That was just a rumor I started.
00:46:15Well, we should organize a protest.
00:46:18What do you know about protesting, Pollyanna?
00:46:21I know you think Girl Scouts are silly,
00:46:23but the whole point is to empower girls
00:46:25so we can change the world.
00:46:27You know, Gloria Sinem, Hillary Clinton,
00:46:29and Sandra Jay O'Connor were all Girl Scouts.
00:46:33Maybe you're not as puppies and unicorns as you seem.
00:46:39I thought I would be just better at jousting.
00:46:42I don't know, like, as a reach thing?
00:46:43Better at long ones?
00:46:44Because you've got those long spindly ones.
00:46:45Thank you, spindly?
00:46:47Oh, whoa, there's a piano here.
00:46:49You know what that means.
00:46:51What, are you writing new songs?
00:46:52You know what, I actually just wrote one in my head
00:46:54called Our Party Is Way Better Than Your Party.
00:46:57It's weird.
00:46:58Thank you, it's nice.
00:47:00Sweet.
00:47:02Actually, I am working on one now, but it's stupid.
00:47:10Oh, I will be the judge of that.
00:47:12Sit down.
00:47:12Ugh.
00:47:15Do I have to?
00:47:17Yeah, yeah, you're gonna have to play a song for me.
00:47:19Sorry.
00:47:21I can't believe you're making me do this.
00:47:26All right.
00:47:34♪ On the outskirts going nowhere ♪
00:47:38♪ But I've heard that the truth is out there ♪
00:47:41♪ I just hope one day I can show ♪
00:47:45♪ There is more here than what they know ♪
00:47:52And that's all I have.
00:47:53That was all you?
00:47:54That was great, are you kidding me?
00:47:55That was awesome, it was really good.
00:47:59I was just thinking for the chorus, what if it went...
00:48:01Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
00:48:05Wow, I didn't know you played.
00:48:08I don't like to let people behind the candelabra.
00:48:10Let's take a place.
00:48:13So, when do I get to hear the rest of your songs?
00:48:19Maybe...
00:48:23Sometime.
00:48:25Later.
00:48:26Maybe later, maybe later.
00:48:28Hey!
00:48:29Oh, oh, hey guys.
00:48:32I just wanted to let you know that they're reenacting
00:48:34the Battle of Trafalgar out on the beach.
00:48:38So, hey!
00:48:44Awesome, let's do that.
00:48:45That's way better than...
00:48:47Naval battle, huh?
00:48:51I think I speak for everyone when I say
00:48:54that Saturday's shindig was one of the best, nay,
00:48:57the best party of all time.
00:49:00Hear, hear.
00:49:02Now, does anyone have anything to bring
00:49:04to the council's attention?
00:49:05Upcoming events?
00:49:07Seminar ideas?
00:49:08Yes.
00:49:09Sugar and I did some research and it turns out...
00:49:11What about sabotaging the lacrosse team?
00:49:14We finally established strategic dominance.
00:49:16Now is the time to exploit our advantage.
00:49:19And those guys had it coming.
00:49:21A few tablets of X-lax in the team's water coolers
00:49:23and their bowels will explode like Krypton.
00:49:27You think Steve Jobs became the greatest visionary
00:49:29of all time by being satisfied with creating the iMac?
00:49:32He changed it up and created the iPod,
00:49:35then the iPhone, then the iPod Touch, then...
00:49:38I got it, I got it.
00:49:41I guess a little explosive diarrhea never hurt anyone.
00:49:44Yes!
00:49:46Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
00:49:49Hey, wanna play Settlers of Catan?
00:49:52No, I can't.
00:49:53My dad's new lady friend is coming over with her kids
00:49:56so we can all meet each other
00:49:57even though it's only their second date.
00:49:58Well, that sounds fun.
00:50:00All right, you guys gotta go.
00:50:02You know how my parents feel about organized labor, so...
00:50:06All right.
00:50:08Oh, God.
00:50:11What do I do?
00:50:12Is it too neat?
00:50:13Is my hair too neat?
00:50:14Should I mess it up?
00:50:15I mean, don't the ladies like it messy?
00:50:17Oh, Herb.
00:50:20Sweet, sweet Herb.
00:50:21Listen, you haven't dated in a while
00:50:23so I feel the need to tell you that at your age,
00:50:26women aren't super concerned
00:50:27with the way you style your hair
00:50:28as much as they are impressed that you still have hair.
00:50:32Oh, no.
00:50:35Relax.
00:50:36Awkward doesn't suit you.
00:50:37Yes, a little awkward, okay.
00:50:46Hi.
00:50:47Hi.
00:50:51You must be David.
00:50:53Of course you are.
00:50:54Who else would you be?
00:50:54I mean, you wouldn't bring a dick to dinner, right?
00:50:57You wouldn't bring a dick to dinner, right?
00:51:01I'm Herb.
00:51:04David, this is my daughter Jodi.
00:51:05Jodi, David.
00:51:06Jodi, Carol.
00:51:07Carol, Jodi.
00:51:08David, Carol, Herb, Jodi.
00:51:09Everybody knows each other.
00:51:11Introduction's out of the way.
00:51:12Come into the house, please.
00:51:14This is the way in.
00:51:27Come on.
00:51:40Boom shaka laka laka boom shaka laka laka boom
00:51:42shaka laka laka boom.
00:51:47Jodi, it's Mindy.
00:51:50Call me.
00:51:52I suggested, hey, why not take the shorts up
00:51:54an inch above the knee?
00:51:56They said no, but with respect, they said no.
00:52:00I also have made some-
00:52:01Hey, guys, let's just give me these.
00:52:03You guys are done, right?
00:52:03Well, not quite.
00:52:04Mom's done.
00:52:05Mom's done.
00:52:06Sure, thank you.
00:52:11Hey, hey.
00:52:11What if they get married?
00:52:13Then we almost committed stepsest.
00:52:15What?
00:52:16What?
00:52:17What?
00:52:17What?
00:52:18What?
00:52:19What?
00:52:20What?
00:52:22Hey, you were the one who went in for the kiss.
00:52:24No, no way.
00:52:25You were practically undressing me with your eyes.
00:52:27Undressing you?
00:52:28Aren't you 40?
00:52:30Mr. Oh, I don't let many people behind the candelabra.
00:52:33Fine, we'll just chalk it up to equal parts creepy.
00:52:36I don't know where this goes.
00:52:39So, friends it is?
00:52:44Yeah, in the interest of not having our family tree
00:52:46go in a circle, friends.
00:52:49I'm sorry, I realize referencing having children
00:52:51with you makes it more creepy.
00:52:52Yeah, it does.
00:52:53Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:53:07I got an operation plan to Photoshop
00:53:09the cheerleader's yearbook picture.
00:53:11Can I get the green light?
00:53:12I don't care, do what you want.
00:53:17I have been looking for you all day.
00:53:20Oh my God, last night was like
00:53:21the seventh circle of awkwardness.
00:53:23I called you.
00:53:24I know, it was insane.
00:53:26I got waitlisted at MIT.
00:53:28Wait, no, no, no, there's gotta be a mistake.
00:53:32Hey, I want names.
00:53:34It doesn't matter.
00:53:35Hey, guess who's coming to dinner?
00:53:38It's a weird joke.
00:53:39Hey, did you hear?
00:53:40Actually not.
00:53:42Not a good time.
00:53:43Her dad and my mom, they're like totally dating now.
00:53:46That's crazy.
00:53:48Oh hey, a side point.
00:53:49Found a perfect song for your audition.
00:53:54Audition?
00:53:57Thanks Dave, I'll take it from here.
00:54:02It's just for a performing arts school.
00:54:05In Boston?
00:54:07In New York.
00:54:10I was gonna tell you.
00:54:11It's no big deal.
00:54:13Of course it's a big deal.
00:54:15I'm sure you'll get in.
00:54:18And it's a good thing you've got Dave
00:54:20to help you with your audition.
00:54:22Mindy, don't be mad.
00:54:30I gotta go.
00:54:34Hey, we'll talk later, okay?
00:54:39Sorry.
00:54:40It's fine, let's just go.
00:54:44Mindy Lipschitz, please report to the principal's office.
00:54:48This is an all new level.
00:54:49Stealing chemicals and lab equipment from the school?
00:54:53Come on, Les, Mindy is one of my best students.
00:54:56She would never do that.
00:54:57Really?
00:54:58Why don't you have a look-see?
00:55:09Okay, well that one is clearly Photoshopped.
00:55:12Well, guess what?
00:55:14You're out of the science club, forever.
00:55:17This must be some excuse.
00:55:17Save it, sweater vest.
00:55:19Luckily, we still have students like Whitney Bennett
00:55:22who had the courage to bring this sick delinquency
00:55:24to my attention.
00:55:25Get out of my office.
00:55:28Mr. Samuels, why didn't you defend me?
00:55:32What'd you want me to do, Mindy?
00:55:33You went to MIT, the greatest academic institution
00:55:38in the known universe, and you're still being bullied
00:55:41by an overgrown frat boy.
00:55:48Oh my God, you totally broke her.
00:55:51Love 42, strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.
00:55:54Straight back to you.
00:56:01Are you sure you want this?
00:56:07I want it.
00:56:08I want it.
00:56:16So, phase change and pressure.
00:56:18Can anyone tell me what the exception to the rule of...
00:56:23Brothers and sisters, it is time to open your eyes.
00:56:28Whitney Bennett, for four years,
00:56:31she has crafted a meticulous image
00:56:33as the rich girl who had it all.
00:56:36Well, brothers and sisters,
00:56:38Whitney Bennett is not who you thought.
00:56:41The mansion her family supposedly lives in?
00:56:45Try the servant's quarters.
00:56:47Her father, the hedge fund manager?
00:56:50These are the only hedges he's ever managed.
00:56:54The mother who works in fashion?
00:56:56Only if this constitutes working in the fashion industry.
00:57:01Her older brother getting a master's
00:57:03in business and out of working?
00:57:06The only business he's mastered is delivering pizzas.
00:57:10The truth is revealed.
00:57:12The only reason Whitney was always so intent
00:57:15on exposing all of your weaknesses
00:57:17was so that you would never discover hers.
00:57:20Whitney Bennett is a liar.
00:57:36Dude, what was that?
00:57:38That was our revenge over Whitney.
00:57:41You do realize that you just did the same thing to her
00:57:43that she did to me?
00:57:44Exactly.
00:57:45It's called revenge.
00:57:47I don't get what your problem is.
00:57:49This is what you wanted.
00:57:50We set out to change things and we did it.
00:57:54You're the one who set me up.
00:57:55I'm the one who set you up.
00:57:57I'm the one who set you up.
00:57:59I'm the one who set you up.
00:58:01I'm the one who set you up.
00:58:03I'm the one who set you up.
00:58:05And we did it.
00:58:06We won.
00:58:07It doesn't feel like we won.
00:58:09It feels like we're becoming the things
00:58:10that we used to hate.
00:58:12My whole life I played by the rules.
00:58:15I did all my homework.
00:58:16I colored in the bubbles with my number two pencils
00:58:19and what did it get me?
00:58:20Teased, tortured, ignored, weight listed.
00:58:27Do you know what turning the other cheek gets you?
00:58:30Two black eyes.
00:58:33The old Mindy.
00:58:34Was a pushover who thought she was gonna go to MIT,
00:58:37engineer the perfect hydrogen fuel cell
00:58:39and get an element named after her.
00:58:41Lipschitzium can still happen.
00:58:43If you have a problem with what you're doing,
00:58:45you should do something about it.
00:58:51If this is what it is,
00:58:55then I'm out.
00:58:58♪ I went to the violence road ♪
00:59:03♪ I went to the violence road ♪
00:59:05So we had succeeded in creating a new world order
00:59:08at Richard Milhous Nixon High.
00:59:11Turns out power is a potent drug
00:59:13and with Whitney publicly humiliated
00:59:15and officially dethroned,
00:59:17the underlings of our school had now become its overlords.
00:59:20Dude, that was amazing.
00:59:21Mindys aren't registered as lethal weapons.
00:59:24Well, this sucks.
00:59:25I told you we should have just burned this mother down.
00:59:28They're here.
00:59:30Has anyone seen Whitney?
00:59:31She's gone AWOL.
00:59:32I never thought I'd feel bad
00:59:33for someone who affectionately references Stalin.
00:59:36Now we should shove his head into a toilet.
00:59:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:59:40♪ Head to the floor, let's roll ♪
00:59:42♪ Our team taking over, let's roll ♪
00:59:45♪ We ain't gonna stop, let's roll ♪
01:00:01Look, I never meant for things to go down like that.
01:00:04Oh, come on, don't tell me
01:00:06you're not having a dorkgasm over this.
01:00:09Google alert, you did the same thing to me,
01:00:11and did I go into hiding?
01:00:12But your threshold for humiliation was already so high.
01:00:16Were you trying to apologize?
01:00:17It just got stuck in my throat,
01:00:19but I know you're right, okay?
01:00:21You're right.
01:00:24O...kay.
01:00:27Thanks.
01:00:29Anyway, I'm really sorry.
01:00:31It's just...
01:00:33I'm not good at this.
01:00:35I'm not good at it.
01:00:37I'm not good at it.
01:00:39I'm not good at it.
01:00:42I'm not good at it.
01:00:44I'm going to cut right to the chase.
01:01:03I intend to rule this school next year, but the only way you become the best is by working
01:01:07for the best.
01:01:08I thought that was Whitney, but apparently I was wrong.
01:01:12I won't pretend to like your fashion choices.
01:01:14But you've got a lot to teach me, and I'd like to offer my services as your intern for
01:01:17the rest of the school year.
01:01:23Prom is almost here, and we still don't have a theme, so I'd like you to rally your various
01:01:28factions to back my proposal for Ender's Prom.
01:01:31Support my bid for Prom King.
01:01:34I'll vote for whatever theme you want.
01:01:36Wait.
01:01:37I'm running for Prom King.
01:01:39I'm the only one who knows how to wield a sword effectively.
01:01:43I thought we were letting Colin win so we could prank him.
01:01:45No, we never went over that.
01:01:46I'm going to be king.
01:01:47Um, no, you're not going to be king.
01:01:48I'm going to be the queen.
01:01:49Mindy, I am willing to make you queen with a five-year no-beheading clause.
01:01:53A no-beheading clause.
01:01:54As I sat there listening, I realized how ridiculous it all was.
01:01:58We had pretended we cared about coming together, but in the end, people only cared about themselves,
01:02:03even best friends.
01:02:06So it had all been a lie, which was fitting, since when you think about it, most of high
01:02:10school is a lie.
01:02:12Everyone faking it, trying to act cooler or smarter or older or just more sure of themselves
01:02:18than they really are.
01:02:19And I couldn't help but think, wouldn't it be nice for once if people just told the truth?
01:02:25So you're going to drug prom.
01:02:26Well, that makes it sound so serious.
01:02:29Lipschitzium is a very mild form of truth serum in gaseous form.
01:02:33Think of it like a very smart person's version of spiking the punch, okay?
01:02:36Oh, I'm fine with you drugging prom.
01:02:38So, what changed your mind about working with me?
01:02:42You may be a duplicitous opportunist, but at least you're honest about what you want.
01:02:46Oh.
01:03:01Thank God you're back.
01:03:03Do you know what it was like being the only hot person in this school?
01:03:07The army of dorkness is multiplying faster than Kardashians.
01:03:13Oh!
01:03:14Sorry.
01:03:15Habit.
01:03:17So are you going to prom?
01:03:18Hell no.
01:03:19Hey Whitney, can your dad mow my lawn?
01:03:26You have a message from Mom.
01:03:27Make sure you drive safely to school, honey.
01:03:29You're alone.
01:03:30Love, Mommy.
01:03:31I'm sorry you had to see that.
01:03:33You don't need a date to go to prom.
01:03:36The date, the dress, the revelry.
01:03:38I don't even know where to begin with my hatred.
01:03:41And anyways, Mindy and I had always planned on doing a Star Wars marathon on prom night.
01:03:4513.24 hours, prequels and all.
01:03:47I get it.
01:03:48It's just...
01:03:50What?
01:03:51I had a chat with Mackenzie.
01:03:53She's apparently Mindy's intern now.
01:03:55And she wouldn't tell me anything, but it sounds like Mindy's planning some sort of crazy prank at prom.
01:04:00Guess she's not done getting her revenge.
01:04:07Why are they fighting on a hovercraft above molten lava?
01:04:13Well, Herb, I'll tell you.
01:04:15Obi-Wan here is just trying to be a good friend and keep Anakin from acting like a total jackhole.
01:04:19But Anakin is more interested in making a stupid power play than in hanging out with his best friend.
01:04:26I don't know.
01:04:28Seems to me Obi-Wan is being pretty brave.
01:04:30Standing up for the fate of the universe.
01:04:34Trying to help out his friend who seems to be going through maybe a rough time.
01:04:39Even if Obi-Wan ends up having to chop off his best friend's legs
01:04:43and his best friend ends up turning into some mouth-breathing goth cyborg who eventually kills him?
01:04:48Yep.
01:04:49Even then.
01:04:52Jodie, there's one thing that I do know.
01:04:55Jodie, there's one thing that I do know.
01:05:00Nothing great ever happens when you're sitting on the sidelines.
01:05:07Shit.
01:05:09I gotta go to prom.
01:05:19Thanks, Dad.
01:05:21Jodie, I am your father.
01:05:26Your founding father.
01:05:28I really hope this isn't genetic.
01:05:38Dad, are there any old clothes in Mom's closet I can wear?
01:05:50Wow.
01:05:51What a vision.
01:05:55Jessica left the phone with Carol.
01:05:57Dave doesn't have a date either, so she's gonna bring him over here so you guys can carpool.
01:06:01Dad!
01:06:02It's fine.
01:06:04You're just carpooling.
01:06:05It's not gonna be awkward at all.
01:06:21You guys, come on. Squeeze in over here.
01:06:23Grab her waist.
01:06:24Hug your sister.
01:06:26And...
01:06:28Perfect.
01:06:29All right, see you.
01:06:30Okay.
01:06:32All right, so I'm just gonna...
01:06:33Okay.
01:06:39Shoot.
01:06:42Okay, the coast is clear. Let's go.
01:06:45We are so breaking bad right now.
01:06:50Yeah!
01:06:56Yeah!
01:07:01Who came up with this theme anyway?
01:07:03The patriarchy.
01:07:05You beckoned?
01:07:09Wanna bust a move?
01:07:10Fine.
01:07:11Whatever.
01:07:12Gotta get up to get down.
01:07:20Okay.
01:07:51Phone notification.
01:08:17I think I might actually be a PC.
01:08:20What?
01:08:30Maybe my therapist is right.
01:08:32I am dating my father.
01:08:35Is there any way to deny that all human suffering originates in human desire?
01:08:39And thus the only way to end suffering is to end desire.
01:08:42But the illogical and futile nature of desire will inevitably win out over our rational nature.
01:08:48This punch...
01:08:51Is good!
01:09:04I know that everybody loves Harry, but...
01:09:07And I can certainly appreciate Zayn's brooding charm, but...
01:09:11For my money, Liam is the unsung hero of One Direction.
01:09:18I find everything about you repulsive, yet I'm strangely drawn to you.
01:09:24That is the nicest thing a girl has ever said to me.
01:09:28I love you, man.
01:09:30Yes, homo.
01:09:39I find myself incredibly attracted to you despite that pantsuit.
01:09:48No!
01:09:54This is awesome.
01:09:55Thank you, Adam Scott.
01:09:58Hey, um...
01:10:01I really like you.
01:10:04I really like...
01:10:09Damn it!
01:10:11Um, I gotta go.
01:10:13I'll find you later.
01:10:19Promise?
01:10:24Hey!
01:10:25Where have you been?
01:10:26Sorry, I was just in the janitor's closet making out with my future stepbrother.
01:10:31Okay, we have to find Mindy.
01:10:33And before her plan goes into effect, God knows what she could do.
01:10:36She is a really good chemist, you know.
01:10:38Really good.
01:10:43Oh my God, what is all this?
01:10:45Is she trying to poison the school?
01:10:47I wouldn't put it past her at this point.
01:10:50What do you think this does?
01:10:52Expose the truth!
01:10:55Nice!
01:10:56Some best friend you are.
01:10:58I'm sorry, is the person who's building a chemical weapon questioning my integrity in this scenario?
01:11:03I figured it was about time somebody cut through all the bullshit so we could see who people really were.
01:11:08I told you you couldn't trust her.
01:11:10And now, all of a sudden, you're... you guys are BFFs?
01:11:13Yeah!
01:11:14Because between you and Whitney, Whitney is the one who is acting less like an evil dictator.
01:11:19You're just jealous because I am the one who finally stood up to her,
01:11:22which is something that you've always been too scared to do.
01:11:25I'm turning you in.
01:11:26You're not with me.
01:11:27You are my enemy.
01:11:29Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
01:11:32I will do what I must.
01:11:33You will try!
01:11:39Whitney, go get help!
01:11:41No thanks.
01:11:45Come on, 21.
01:11:47Play a sucker to catch a sucker.
01:11:49Emergency!
01:11:50I need to report a crime in progress.
01:12:02Okay, everybody!
01:12:04It is that time in the evening that you've all been waiting for.
01:12:09Your very handsome principal is about to announce your prom king and queen.
01:12:15You shall not pass!
01:12:20And the prom king is...
01:12:23Lewis Hammersmith?
01:12:25Oh, you guys suck at this.
01:12:26Make way or I'll have you drawn and quartered.
01:12:29What?
01:12:34My fellow classmates, I intend to rule you all with an iron.
01:12:40A noble fist.
01:12:45And the prom queen is...
01:12:49Oh!
01:12:51The lovely Miss Claire Stewart.
01:12:56Congratulations.
01:12:59Oh, wow, you look lovely.
01:13:02Thank you.
01:13:04And let's let beauty and the beast regale us with a little dance.
01:13:10Watch your step.
01:13:13She's hurt! She's hurt!
01:13:15That was exhausting and amazing!
01:13:22No!
01:13:25No!
01:13:30No!
01:13:38Oh!
01:13:39I just burned my...
01:13:44No!
01:13:46It was mine!
01:13:51Hey, do you need my help?
01:13:52No!
01:13:53I got this!
01:13:56Where have you been?
01:13:58In Europe, prom zones start until 11.
01:14:02I am sorry!
01:14:03Why couldn't you just be happy for me?
01:14:05Because you were too busy exploring your sexuality to attend to my emotional needs!
01:14:11You knew how much MIT meant to me!
01:14:12You know what, I am sorry that for once in my life, I found a boy that is totally awesome and broodingly sexy!
01:14:18Oh my god, Jodi, stop it.
01:14:20You think I'm totally awesome?
01:14:21Yeah.
01:14:22Cool, that's great.
01:14:23Thanks, man.
01:14:24I am really sorry that for once in your life, your 10-year plan didn't go perfectly.
01:14:28But you know what? Suck it up and deal with it like the rest of us!
01:14:32Oh, ew, are you two going to make out now?
01:14:35You know what, Whitney?
01:14:36Shut up!
01:14:39I defended you!
01:14:40Even after all of the horrible crap that you put me through, I still tried because I was stupid enough to feel bad for you!
01:14:46Do you think I actually care what these people think of me?
01:14:50High school is over.
01:14:52I just wanted you two to know before we all left that I had won.
01:14:55That I will always win!
01:14:57And whenever I won, I can take away that which you hold most dear and crush it.
01:15:01And it barely took any push at all to turn you two into Cain and Abel.
01:15:06Frankly, I think I did you a favor.
01:15:08Otherwise, this little horror show likely would have dragged on for another few years before you two cut your losses and moved on.
01:15:23Maybe she's right.
01:15:25It was stupid to think that we would still be friends after high school.
01:15:29You're going to do your thing.
01:15:31I'm going to do mine.
01:15:33And in ten years, we'll see each other at the reunion and smile.
01:15:38Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.
01:15:41If that's how you really feel, then maybe we should just stop avoiding the inevitable and end this right now!
01:15:47It is how I feel.
01:15:50Well, that hurt.
01:15:54It's not as bad as that.
01:15:57You've got to be kidding me.
01:16:11And with that, the revolution was over.
01:16:19The police let me go, calling Lipschitzium a misguided but ultimately harmless prank.
01:16:25After a hefty suspension, Mindy returned to school.
01:16:29And all the cliques returned to how they'd been before.
01:16:50A drug prom.
01:16:53Every scientist has one great regret.
01:16:55Look at Oppenheimer.
01:16:58So I had time to do some thinking while I was in the clink.
01:17:02It wasn't just an adolescent rite of passage I ruined.
01:17:06I destroyed all the good I did.
01:17:09I had an opportunity to really change things.
01:17:12I had an opportunity to really change things.
01:17:15And when it came down to it, I was no different than Whitney Bennett.
01:17:21I'm not going to tell you it was okay what you did.
01:17:23But I understand it.
01:17:26It's hard feeling like you're giving your best and people don't value you.
01:17:30There are always going to be jerks. That doesn't change after high school.
01:17:34And you can spend your life trying to beat them or prove them wrong or get even with them.
01:17:39But that's all wasted energy.
01:17:42What you need to do is figure out what and who is important to you.
01:17:47And fight for that.
01:17:49The rest doesn't matter.
01:18:09Come on.
01:18:27Yes! Yes!
01:18:39Yes!
01:18:58Mr. Fleming?
01:19:00No.
01:19:06What is happening?
01:19:07I think I...
01:19:08Joshua!
01:19:10Oh my God.
01:19:13I couldn't... anything.
01:19:15What are you doing here?
01:19:22I couldn't let you go in there without you knowing how proud I am of you.
01:19:26Wendy, I got into MIT today.
01:19:29And it didn't mean anything because you weren't there to celebrate with me.
01:19:33I don't know how things got so messed up.
01:19:35Okay, no, I do know.
01:19:37I went totally Dr. Strangelove.
01:19:39But the thing you said about us being high school friends?
01:19:42You're not my high school friend.
01:19:44You're my best friend.
01:19:46We're the radical two.
01:19:48You will always know about the face plant.
01:19:51I got...
01:19:52I got me this dental bridge.
01:19:55You will always know I prefer odd numbers to even.
01:19:59I don't know where life will take us.
01:20:01Hopefully, hopefully to the 2020 Grammys and the first human settlement on Mars.
01:20:06But it doesn't matter because all I know is that I want you in my life for all of it.
01:20:12I am so sorry.
01:20:15And I'm back.
01:20:20I'm so sorry I was too busy.
01:20:22I'm so sorry I was too busy exploring my sexuality.
01:20:26It's okay, sexuality is important.
01:20:30Oh my God.
01:20:32I'm so glad you're here. You have no idea.
01:20:34I am totally freaking out.
01:20:37Look at me.
01:20:38Remember science fair finals?
01:20:40I was so nervous I could almost puke on my bacteria cultures.
01:20:43You made me different.
01:20:46Okay.
01:20:48Get yourself together, Jodi.
01:20:51I think I know what we have to do.
01:21:14Miss Schedenbarger?
01:21:18Wait!
01:21:21Oh!
01:21:23Do or do not, there is no try.
01:21:30It's my best friend!
01:21:34My best friend.
01:21:37Star Wars quote.
01:21:38The end of that.
01:21:50I love you.
01:22:09As I stand before you.
01:22:10So high school was finally over.
01:22:13And maybe it was just the Stockholm syndrome talking.
01:22:15But for the first time, I kind of felt like I was going to miss the place.
01:22:20We had tried so hard to tear down the entire system
01:22:23that we lost sight of what our high school really was.
01:22:27People.
01:22:28People on the inside.
01:22:30People on the outside.
01:22:33People learning who they are.
01:22:37Who they want to be.
01:22:39Who they don't want to be.
01:22:43Because no matter who you are.
01:22:45The prom king.
01:22:47The fashionista.
01:22:48Or the future disgraced senator.
01:22:50High school is the same.
01:22:53It's the best of times.
01:22:55It's the worst of times.
01:22:57Full of wonderful people.
01:23:00And not so wonderful people.
01:23:03And it's once in a lifetime.
01:23:08And we made it through.
01:23:18We did it.
01:23:19We're members of society.
01:23:20We have the diploma.
01:23:21We proved it to everyone.
01:23:22Yeah.
01:23:23Yeah, well done.
01:23:24Well done to you too.
01:23:33I'll call you Wellesley.
01:23:34All right Penn State.
01:23:35Okay.
01:23:39Hey guys.
01:23:40Hey guys.
01:23:41Hey guys.
01:23:43I was waiting.
01:23:44I was waiting for you.
01:23:51What's your name?
01:23:52It's hot.
01:23:59Hi.
01:24:00Mindy.
01:24:01Jody.
01:24:02Claire.
01:24:03Virginia.
01:24:04Sugar.
01:24:05I was wondering if you would perhaps honor me.
01:24:06I'll see you this week Martin.
01:24:07Thank you.
01:24:09Hey.
01:24:10The heart wants whatever pasty bespectacled thing the heart wants.
01:24:14And don't you look so smug.
01:24:16Because you know what our next mission is.
01:24:18Getting you your first date.
01:24:20Yes.
01:24:23That's me.
01:24:24I'll see you this week.
01:24:25Deal.
01:24:28Bye.
01:24:34That's my driver.
01:24:36Spill it.
01:24:37What are you doing next year?
01:24:39Little of this.
01:24:40Little of that.
01:24:41I'm just going to see where the wind takes me.
01:24:45That girl's going into the CIA.
01:24:47No doubt.
01:24:50You ready Dolores?
01:24:52Don't even.
01:24:54That woman birthed me.
01:24:55She can call me whatever she wants.
01:24:58No problem Dolores.
01:25:01Count it Dolores.
01:25:04I'll see you this summer Dolores.
01:25:05I'm sorry.
01:25:06Yeah.
01:25:07I have to go.
01:25:11We miss you already Dolores.
01:25:12Love you.
01:25:13We miss you already Dolores.
01:25:14Love you Dolores.
01:25:15Really strong pound Dolores.
01:25:20So Martin and Dolores.
01:25:22Weird right?
01:25:23I don't get it.
01:25:25Oh.
01:25:26Wait.
01:25:28I just forgot.
01:25:30Open it.
01:25:38One economy class train ticket from Boston to New York City.
01:25:44Oh.
01:25:52Next year is going to be epic.
01:25:57Next year?
01:25:59We spent the summer.
01:26:01Battlestar Marathon at my place?
01:26:03Oh you know it.
01:26:04Woo!