#Hoshyarian #HaroonRafiq #SaleemAlbela #GogaPasroori #AghaMajid #ArzuuFatima #ComedyShow #Funny #Entertainment
Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Saleem Albela | Agha Majid | Comedy Show | 19th July 2024
Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Saleem Albela | Agha Majid | Comedy Show | 19th July 2024
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Assalam-o-Alaikum, I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshi Aariyan.
00:22Friends, it is said that if one lamp burns the other, its own light does not diminish.
00:29If you burn more lamps, your own light will not diminish, but because of their light, the light in the world will increase.
00:35But yes, there is one such lamp that gives all its light and burns the other lamp.
00:42And those are parents.
00:43These are the lamps that put out many of their lamps to light your lamp.
00:48They suppress many of their desires.
00:50There are many things that they want to do in life, they like it, but they are not able to do it because of you.
00:55And there are many such things, efforts, difficulties, worries, debts, helplessness, deprivation,
01:02which they bear to light your lamp.
01:05And nowadays, I see many students who tell their parents that you have not done any favor.
01:11Everyone does this.
01:12You know for sure that they have done a lot of favors.
01:15The real meaning of favor is not to do a favor.
01:20Favor means to do everything in such a way that you can do it better than you can.
01:29You can feed someone.
01:30If you are a rich man, you will feed him the best food.
01:33But if you are a poor man, you gave him all your food, so you did this favor.
01:38You did it in the best way, so they do this.
01:41And they hope that at this age, you will do them a favor.
01:46Let's start today's show with this message.
01:49Today, we will take you to the Foreign Office and see what is happening there.
01:55How are you?
01:56How are you?
01:57I am absolutely fine.
01:58Where is the Foreign Office?
02:00France.
02:01France, okay.
02:02In which city?
02:03Paris.
02:04Okay, you are in Paris right now.
02:06Oh, wow.
02:07I think there is a Marvel movie going on behind you.
02:09Sir, people are coming.
02:10I want to entertain them.
02:11I will put the TV on.
02:12You put the TV on and paused it in the same scene.
02:16I will tell you.
02:17Yes.
02:18A man came.
02:19Yes.
02:20He also liked the movie a lot.
02:21Okay.
02:22His work was done.
02:23He left.
02:24He said, keep it here.
02:25I will come again.
02:26We will start from here.
02:27Tell me one thing.
02:28I have heard that there are a lot of thefts in Paris.
02:31Is this true?
02:32Yes.
02:33There are a lot of thefts.
02:34I am at home.
02:35I am at the office.
02:36I am at home.
02:37Where is your house?
02:38It is near the office.
02:42Okay.
02:43Why are you crying?
02:44I am missing my children.
02:45Oh.
02:46Oh.
02:47Okay.
02:48This is really true.
02:49Because I spoke to the Foreign Office.
02:52And I also spoke to the translator of Pakistan.
02:55What are the problems?
02:56What are the things?
02:57So he pointed out that people come to us and say that you are having fun.
03:01We have come out to earn for our children.
03:04And you people are not doing our work.
03:06So he says that you should also understand that we have also come out to earn for our children.
03:11We are also working here.
03:12And we are away from children.
03:13So you are missing your children a lot.
03:15I am sleepy.
03:16I have not seen my children.
03:17Brother, we are equally involved in your sorrows.
03:19Thank you.
03:20And we understand this thing that who saw the peacock dancing in the jungle.
03:23You are not having a lot of fun here.
03:25You are only working hard.
03:26Why are their salaries not good?
03:28See, this is the thing.
03:30In government offices, the salaries are very high.
03:33They are not very good.
03:34In the private sector, the salaries are always high.
03:37But people go to the government job because you know that you will get this job.
03:43The second thing is that you get a good pension.
03:46The third thing is that you get a pension.
03:48Where is the pension of these poor people?
03:50They are sitting outside.
03:51Peacock danced in the jungle.
03:52Okay, the interesting thing is that these people have a problem.
03:56The problem is that whatever they do, they cannot advertise it.
04:01Absolutely.
04:02Because it takes on a political color.
04:04This is true.
04:05Because there is always some government in Pakistan.
04:07Whether it is of one party, second party, third party.
04:09But these people who are sitting, if they do a good job, if they advertise it on social media
04:14or in newspapers or on the media, then people will say that they are taking the side of the government.
04:18Absolutely.
04:19So the problem with these poor people is that even if they do a good job, they are not able to advertise it.
04:24And you see that there was a time when our friend country had laid off 9000 people together.
04:32Although they did not have a job, still they put job fairs in different places and got people jobs.
04:42And 6500 people got jobs there again.
04:46So they do such things.
04:48Recently, our Nawadrat from New York, who had gone to Pakistan after being robbed,
04:53they have recovered.
04:55And they are coming to Pakistan.
04:57Similarly, our Nawadrat from Australia.
04:59But these people cannot advertise it on the media.
05:01Come, come.
05:02There is no problem.
05:03Assalamu Alaikum Sir.
05:04Walaikum Assalam Sir.
05:05What is my age?
05:06Yes.
05:07What is my age, brother?
05:08No problem.
05:09No problem.
05:10Sit.
05:11Sit properly.
05:12What is my age?
05:13What do you mean?
05:14What is my age?
05:15Keep my age.
05:16Come to the airport.
05:17What happened?
05:18My friend is asking me to go to the airport.
05:21Yes.
05:22He has come from Lahore.
05:23He has come from Ghaziabad.
05:24Tell him that I have come with him.
05:28He has been searched six times at the airport.
05:31I have been searched.
05:32Okay, six times.
05:33Yes, yes.
05:34Because people like you often bring something in their stomach.
05:38Yes, yes.
05:39There is more space.
05:41Yes, yes.
05:42Do you want to send something?
05:43I will give it to you.
05:45He had hand carried Gurj.
05:47Gurj.
05:48Gurj.
05:49Oh, okay, okay.
05:50Look, there is no problem with Lahore.
05:51They know about their culture.
05:52Did they allow you to come?
05:53Did the people of France allow you to come?
05:55No, no.
05:56We have landed at the airport of France.
05:57They just have to ask.
05:58They say, why did you take him with you?
06:00They say, for the fight.
06:01Oh.
06:02He doesn't understand what you are saying.
06:04He says, what fight?
06:05I have cut the Gurj.
06:07Gurj, our wrestler brother, he is crying a lot.
06:11This is the symbol of Dadaji.
06:12He brought it.
06:13He says, this is our family's Gurj.
06:15What is the symbol of your Dadaji?
06:16He says, Gurj is our family.
06:19Okay.
06:20This is my Dadaji's Gurj.
06:21When you ask, it means that your Dadaji also won a very big fight.
06:26No, wrestler.
06:27Dadaji used to make me.
06:29He does the work of a bricklayer.
06:31Sir, you drink water.
06:32Don't worry.
06:33I have understood.
06:34They have captured your Gurj.
06:36You will get it.
06:37Don't worry.
06:38Okay.
06:39He is not saying that he wants to drink water.
06:42Sir, you will get your Gurj.
06:44Okay.
06:45Tell me, what is it used for?
06:47It is very good for hypertension.
06:51You are not understanding.
06:53Like there is an award.
06:54Like Oscar award.
06:55Like there are BAFTA awards.
06:57Okay.
06:58So, wrestlers get it when they win a fight.
07:02So, just like actors get the Oscar.
07:05Similarly, wrestlers get it when they win a fight.
07:07Okay.
07:08You are an actor.
07:09Yes.
07:10My name has become fat.
07:15What is your name?
07:16Mr. Zafar.
07:17Mr. Zafar, give him some time to eat.
07:20Time to eat?
07:21Give him some time to eat.
07:22Let's eat together.
07:24Sir, I am very busy.
07:26What are you doing at this time?
07:27I want to go with you and eat with you.
07:32What is your name?
07:33Chabba Wrestler.
07:34Chabba Wrestler.
07:35His name is Mr. Chabba.
07:38Chabba, Chabba.
07:39Yes, yes.
07:40Okay, okay.
07:41Thank you so much.
07:42Thank you.
07:43Here is your seat.
07:44Thank you.
07:45May God bless you.
07:47This is the office of our foreign countries.
07:50We have come here.
07:51Our problem has been solved.
07:53But one thing is very important here.
07:55Like you said, this is a weapon.
07:58This is used for fighting.
08:00So, many of our Pakistani brothers
08:03who are in jail for such crimes
08:05are being jailed
08:06because it was not their crime
08:08but because of ignorance.
08:10For example, in Turkey,
08:12the battle nut, which is called a betel nut.
08:14If you take it,
08:15there are such people
08:16who have been in jail for 18 years
08:19just for taking betel nuts.
08:20That's right.
08:21Like poppy seeds.
08:22You can't take poppy seeds to Saudi Arabia.
08:24If you take it,
08:25there are a lot of punishments there.
08:27So, God willing,
08:28whichever country you are going to,
08:30understand their laws and rules
08:32before you go.
08:33Because the foreign officer
08:34will come to you
08:35and ask you to release him.
08:37So, how can they do anything?
08:39Because their own laws apply.
08:41One thing should definitely be discussed here
08:43that travelers
08:44bring gifts with them.
08:46Like, this is my thing.
08:48Go and give it to someone.
08:50I think we should clearly deny this.
08:52Whoever is giving you a gift,
08:54tell him to send it himself.
08:55I will not do this for you.
08:57This is a recent incident.
08:58The man who is not with you,
08:59his password cannot go out.
09:01That's right.
09:02So, there are many people
09:03who have given toys to small children.
09:05Their passports are hidden
09:06inside those toys.
09:07Oh, my God!
09:08So, you see,
09:09you say that
09:10the man who has given me
09:11the things to take or bring,
09:13he is my own.
09:14He is my friend.
09:15He is my relative.
09:16Brother, he is the one
09:17who betrays you.
09:18The one you trust.
09:19The one you don't trust,
09:20he will not give you the things.
09:21Even at the airport,
09:22if someone is keeping his bag
09:23with you and going,
09:24you should not do this
09:25as well.
09:26You should not take it with you.
09:27Absolutely.
09:28You should open that bag immediately
09:29and take out the useful things.
09:31You should open that bag immediately
09:32and take out the useful things.
09:33I was bringing the useful things.
09:34Desi kheos.
09:35Okay.
09:36With it, I have kept
09:37the bottles of Alsi.
09:38Yes.
09:39If someone has given me
09:40a golden halwa,
09:41I have kept it there.
09:42I had called him
09:43and asked him to leave the things.
09:44Desi kheos with gram flour.
09:45Okay.
09:46I had made him do it
09:47with a stove made of leaves.
09:48I had told him
09:49that I will make pakoras
09:50with it.
09:51Sir,
09:52we had a case
09:53in the last few days.
09:54Yes.
09:55A paper rim
09:56was coming from Pakistan.
09:57Okay.
09:58The birth certificate
09:59of the children
10:00was coming from Pakistan.
10:01Oh, I see.
10:02Sir,
10:03they caught him
10:04at the airport.
10:05They took him out.
10:06That person was caught.
10:07He said that
10:08he does not know
10:09that this is just a rim.
10:10Such cases
10:11keep coming to us.
10:12But the problem is
10:13that when people
10:14come to him
10:15and say
10:16that he is helping us,
10:17he cannot help
10:18anyone
10:19because
10:20there is a principle
10:21in the whole world
10:22that ignorance of law
10:23is no excuse.
10:24Yes.
10:25It is important
10:26to know the law.
10:27If you say that
10:28you did not know
10:29then it is your responsibility.
10:33Is he here?
10:34Is he here?
10:35Is he here?
10:36My Salim has called.
10:37Is he here?
10:38Why don't you
10:39tell me?
10:40Is he here?
10:41Don't worry, my friend.
10:42He is not here.
10:43He will come.
10:44What is this story?
10:45Sir,
10:46I will tell you.
10:47He fell in love
10:48with a French girl
10:49here.
10:50Oh, I see.
10:51She left him
10:52and went away.
10:53Everyday
10:54I wait for her
10:55to call me
10:56and ask
10:57if she has asked me
10:58or not.
10:59Isn't this
11:00the story
11:01of the PK film?
11:02By the way,
11:03it is the same story.
11:04Yes,
11:05it is my story.
11:06I had told
11:07this to Aamir Khan.
11:08Oh, I see.
11:09Yes.
11:10What is your
11:11name?
11:12Sarmani.
11:13I want to ask you
11:14one thing.
11:15How did
11:16your love
11:17happen?
11:18Sir,
11:19I cannot
11:20tell you.
11:21Let it be.
11:22Give me my chair
11:23and I will go.
11:24What should I tell you,
11:25sir?
11:27This evening
11:28was getting dark.
11:29I was crying
11:30and crying
11:31and I saw
11:32a girl
11:33who was
11:34trying to
11:35get out of the car.
11:36I saw her
11:37from a distance.
11:38She looked at me
11:39in the mirror.
11:40I said,
11:41let me come.
11:42Let me come.
11:43Let me come.
11:44She got out
11:45of the car
11:46so beautifully.
11:47Our eyes
11:48met.
11:49The glass
11:50fell down.
11:51She gave me
11:52two euros.
11:53And from there
11:54my love
11:55got married
11:56to her.
11:59What was your
12:00name?
12:01You can
12:02buy five kilos
12:03of almonds
12:04from Pakistan.
12:05What was
12:06her name?
12:07Mani.
12:08Mani.
12:09Mani.
12:10When she
12:11gave you
12:12two euros,
12:13your love
12:14started.
12:15Your business
12:16started.
12:17What happened
12:18then?
12:19Haroon,
12:20I used to
12:21go to that
12:22parking lot
12:23daily.
12:24I pulled her
12:25there one day
12:26and brought her.
12:27Wow.
12:28And there was
12:29a handsome young man
12:30too.
12:31He didn't bring
12:32your love.
12:33He brought
12:34a boy.
12:35Did you find
12:36out what
12:37that young man
12:38looked like?
12:39No.
12:40I had
12:41nothing to do
12:42with that young man.
12:43I knew
12:44that my Salim
12:45came for me.
12:46When Salim
12:47parked the car
12:48there,
12:49I asked him
12:50where he had
12:51come today.
12:52He said,
12:53have some
12:54ice cream.
12:55What happened
12:56then?
12:57Two euros
12:58are priceless
12:59in love.
13:00I think
13:01two euros
13:02are enough
13:03for you.
13:04You are
13:05going to Delhi.
13:06When I heard
13:07that Salim
13:08liked the ice cream
13:09there,
13:10what happened
13:11then?
13:12They had
13:13ice cream
13:14from there.
13:15When Haroon
13:16left,
13:17I knew
13:18that he
13:19will park
13:20the car
13:21there again.
13:23Then
13:24he parked
13:25the car
13:26beautifully.
13:27I parked
13:28the car
13:29beautifully.
13:30He parked
13:31the car
13:32and looked
13:33at me
13:34lovingly.
13:35He gave
13:36me a gift
13:37of love.
13:38What gift?
13:39Two euros.
13:40What did she
13:41say when she left?
13:42Four euros
13:43are enough
13:44for you.
13:45Your love
13:46is like this.
13:47God willing,
13:48next time
13:49she will give
13:50three euros
13:51for you.
13:52Do you think
13:53she will call
13:54the embassy
13:55to ask you?
13:56Yes.
13:57I gave her
13:58my bio-data
13:59and said
14:00that I belong
14:01to Pakistan
14:02and whenever
14:03you want to know
14:04about me,
14:05you can ask
14:06the Pakistani
14:07embassy.
14:08Have you
14:09registered here?
14:10For what?
14:11This is
14:12the biggest problem.
14:13The biggest problem
14:14of foreign offices
14:15is that they
14:16don't know
14:17how many
14:18Pakistanis
14:19are here.
14:20You should at
14:21least
14:22register
14:23in the embassy.
14:24We know
14:25that you live
14:26here.
14:27If there is
14:28a problem
14:29in a country
14:30in the past
14:31days,
14:32there was
14:33a problem
14:34in a country
14:35when we
14:36had to
14:37bring students
14:38back.
14:39We didn't
14:40have data
14:41about
14:42the number
14:43of students
14:44here.
14:45You should
14:46have data.
14:47If you have
14:48data,
14:49you should
14:50go there
14:51and register
14:52that you
14:53are a
14:54Pakistani
14:55and you
14:56live here
14:57for a job
14:58so that
14:59your rights
15:00can be
15:01protected.
15:02And
15:03only those
15:04who were
15:05registered
15:06could
15:07get the
15:08data.
15:09Those
15:10who were
15:11not
15:12registered
15:13said
15:14that
15:15they
15:16didn't
15:17get
15:18the
15:19data.
15:20And
15:21then
15:22they
15:23said
15:24that
15:25they
15:26didn't
15:27get the
15:28data.
15:29But
15:30they
15:31are
15:32not
15:33going
15:34to
15:35do
15:36this.
15:37They
15:38don't
15:39have
15:40the
15:41data.
15:42They
15:43don't
15:44have
15:45the
15:46Chaba ji, what are you eating?
15:47It's your fight day after tomorrow, it's your coal.
15:49Oh leave it.
15:50My wife has invested in you.
15:52Oh leave it, it's your coal.
15:53Yes.
15:54It's your will.
15:54Who's your first fight with?
15:56Undertaker, right?
15:57With Undertaker.
15:58Oh leave it, what's Undertaker to me?
16:00Undertaker is the one who turns his eyes white.
16:03Yes, yes.
16:03And the green smoke also comes out of his mouth.
16:09Why did your smoke come out?
16:10He's a very powerful man, he's a brave man.
16:13I'm not a brave man to respect him.
16:15And you know what I fear the most?
16:18Hmm?
16:19That after the fight,
16:20he'll leave the coffin and close the door.
16:24No, I was going to build you a house here.
16:29I've invested in you.
16:30Chaba ji.
16:31Oh leave it, it's your foot.
16:32It's your signature.
16:33It's your foot.
16:34It'll break if you kick it.
16:37Okay, there's only one wrestler who you fought with,
16:39or are there more?
16:40Oh no, no, after that John Cena is his.
16:42Oh okay, he's a customer, right?
16:44Okay, so he's John Cena who does this,
16:46you can't see me.
16:47He's like this.
16:48Yes, yes.
16:49Oh no, he's a brave man.
16:50And you know, we respect brave men.
16:53We don't fight with them.
16:54Where did I bring you from?
16:57Oh God, not you,
16:59you're the only one who has the power.
17:01I don't want to fight with such people,
17:02because I've always respected brave men.
17:04Okay.
17:05They're brave men, I don't fight with them.
17:07Okay, fine, Prabha.
17:08If you want to fight, then fight.
17:09Oh, I love rock, I love rock.
17:12There's a rocker who hits straight to the head.
17:14He's the one who's also been in Jumanji.
17:17Jumanji?
17:17Yes, yes.
17:18He's the one who's been in Gadli.
17:19No, no.
17:23Oh man, he's the one who's been in the film.
17:25Okay, he's the one who's been in Jumanji, I remember.
17:27He's the one who shoots a helicopter.
17:29Yes, yes.
17:29The one who shoots a helicopter, who am I?
17:32He's a very brave man.
17:34God knows, when he shot the helicopter,
17:37that day, I had a lot of respect in my heart.
17:40Okay, so you won't fight?
17:41I won't fight.
17:41That's a good question.
17:43Why won't you fight?
17:44Why won't you fight?
17:45He's a brave man.
17:46Then come and leave me and go to Pakistan.
17:48Come, come, come.
17:52I sent you 20,000 Euros to eat food.
17:55Where did you get that from?
17:56The boy isn't married.
17:59Then?
18:00Dear, he's also married.
18:04I'm Sahablal.
18:05I'm not the one who fights, I'm Saulal.
18:08There's a lot of powerful people here, let it go.
18:11No, no, I'll get you a petrol pump.
18:13You don't know anything.
18:15Who are you?
18:17Who are you?
18:19Okay, who are you?
18:21I'm the Pakistani Ambassador.
18:23Yes, yes, I'm the Pakistani Ambassador.
18:25I'm here to get a visa.
18:26Oh, you're here to get a visa?
18:27Yes, yes.
18:28You're here to get a visa?
18:31He's scared that he's a wrestler.
18:33Okay, what do you do there?
18:34I'm a wrestler.
18:37Okay, you're not here to fight, you're here to get a visa?
18:41Okay, okay, okay.
18:42Yes.
18:43Please, sit, sit, sit.
18:44Yes, yes.
18:45Please.
18:46Ask him, I'm sitting here.
18:48He's here to get a visa, you're just here to see Paris.
18:52He's here to wrestle.
18:54With whom?
18:55With you?
18:56He just bumped into me.
18:59Okay, how do you people know Urdu and Punjabi?
19:02Sir, actually half of the family is in Pakistan and the other half is in Japan.
19:05No, no, that's not true.
19:06A little bit of Pakistan and the rest is here.
19:08That's not true.
19:10That's not true.
19:11These people don't know Urdu and Punjabi.
19:13Why?
19:14They've brought them here to wrestle with us.
19:17Okay, it's a good thing that half of the family is in Japan and the other half is in Pakistan
19:21and you're here to get a visa in France.
19:23Sir, the reason for that is that we came here on a visit.
19:25We got a call that there's an emergency and we're getting married in two days.
19:28Sir, it's true that there's an emergency and we're getting married in two days.
19:30We need an emergency visa.
19:31Get the visa today and we'll go to Pakistan tomorrow.
19:33Your brother will get married the day after tomorrow.
19:35Oh, no, no, brother, that doesn't happen.
19:38There's a whole process.
19:40You'll have to follow that process.
19:42That's the problem, sir.
19:43Pakistan never cooperates.
19:45How can we cooperate?
19:46First of all, it's not their job to give you a visa like this.
19:48Give us a proper application.
19:49You've come and gone.
19:50Is the person important or the papers?
19:52I'm important here.
19:54Who else can come to me?
19:57Oh, my God.
19:58He's come here too.
20:00Mr. Chaudhary has come here.
20:02Ever since Mr. Chaudhary got married, he's only been traveling.
20:05Mr. Chaudhary has a lot of money.
20:07How are you, son?
20:09Thank God, Mr. Chaudhary, you're here.
20:11Mr. Chaudhary, come here.
20:12Come here.
20:14Come here.
20:15Mr. Chaudhary.
20:16Can I help you?
20:18Come, Mr. Chaudhary.
20:19You have a lot of weight on your chest.
20:22Mr. Chaudhary, tell me, what can I do for you?
20:25What can I do for you?
20:27I was on my way here in the car.
20:30And I lost my signal.
20:34So, he kept my passport.
20:40What kind of misbehavior is this?
20:42Why did he keep your passport?
20:44The policeman stopped me and asked me where I was.
20:47I said, here.
20:49Then he started driving.
20:50Why?
20:51God knows, he must have lost his signal.
20:54So, you must have lost your signal.
20:56What color was it when you drove the car?
20:58It was a little red.
20:59It wasn't that red.
21:01I even asked him for an euro.
21:02I asked him to give me a break.
21:05When you gave him 2 euros, what did he do?
21:07He told me, you are a fool, you will be thrashed.
21:10So, he made you go back.
21:11No, I hit him on the face.
21:13Really? Where?
21:14Here.
21:17He hit me on the face for 2 euros.
21:20I asked him, I said, it's a robbery.
21:23I asked him, do you have any proof?
21:24I asked him, do you have any proof?
21:25I asked him, do you have any proof?
21:26He said, yes.
21:27He said, I have a big one.
21:28I even got him a call from a big bank.
21:31Who did you get a call from?
21:33My aunt's son, the S.H.O. Lagal Lahore.
21:35Oh.
21:36I told him what kind of stupidity is this.
21:39Of course.
21:39He's calling the S.H.O.
21:41At least he should have called the D.S.P.
21:42Look, he's the European Supreme Court's D.S.P.
21:46He's not the Pakistan's D.S.P.
21:49He doesn't know how to get angry.
21:51He doesn't know that he's the S.H.O. Baddanda.
21:53I told him that a person has a personality.
21:58I bought his Kulli today.
22:00He took it back to drive it.
22:01What?
22:03Then?
22:03Then he makes it bigger.
22:06Mr. Haroon, I keep telling him that
22:08there's no point in spreading theft here.
22:12There is a point.
22:14Okay, let me tell you something here.
22:16If you buy a property,
22:17whether it's of Ekmerla,
22:18or of Saugaz,
22:20or whether it's of many Murabbas,
22:22it's just a piece of paper.
22:24It's just a stamp paper.
22:26Similarly, we say that
22:27the green passport is not respected.
22:30It's just a passport.
22:31Right.
22:32The real question is, what's behind it?
22:34Is it a commercial plot that's very expensive?
22:36Or is it a very useless place?
22:38So, actually, it's us who have to be respected.
22:41The biggest problem is that
22:45when we go out as a tourist,
22:46we forget that the ambassador sitting here
22:49is not the only ambassador.
22:51His hands are tied.
22:52We are the ambassadors.
22:54Exactly.
22:54We go to the shops and tell them
22:56how to be Pakistani.
22:57We tell them in traffic
22:59how to be Pakistani.
23:00Actually, you know,
23:01it's not the green passport
23:02that's in your pocket.
23:04You are the green passport.
23:06So, you should make yourself respected.
23:09How will you be respected
23:10when you respect them?
23:11You are just a piece of paper.
23:14Yes, yes.
23:14You are a copy.
23:15Respect their culture.
23:17Respect their laws.
23:19Respect their festivals.
23:20Respect everything
23:21that they respect.
23:22Then they will respect you too.
23:23May God bless you.
23:25My problem is solved.
23:26What?
23:27He is saying that he is a thief.
23:32Viewers, there is a small break.
23:33We will meet after the break.
23:35Greetings, viewers.
23:36I am Haroon Rafiq.
23:37And you are watching Hoshiyariyan.
23:38Friends, I am not a thief.
23:40I am not selling flowers.
23:42Sir, there is a guy.
23:43He likes movies a lot.
23:44Okay.
23:45He says that he is a good person.
23:45I have come to work.
23:48I am a good person.
23:51I heard that.
23:52You said all the wrong things.
24:02Welcome back, viewers.
24:03Now, our segment is stand-up comedy.
24:05And for stand-up comedy,
24:06Mayanaz, stand-up comedian.
24:09You have won the laughter challenge
24:11in the whole world.
24:13And apart from that,
24:14you have done a lot of tours.
24:16And you have a household name in the UK.
24:18Let's welcome him with a round of applause.
24:20And let's watch the stand-up comedy.
24:21Mani Liaqat.
24:26Thank you.
24:27What to say?
24:27In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
24:28Greetings.
24:29How are you?
24:30Greetings.
24:31I am fine.
24:32I am performing for the first time in Pakistan.
24:34I am fine.
24:35Haroon, it was my coincidence.
24:37The great legend himself, Shah Rukh Khan.
24:39Wow.
24:39Please give him a round of applause.
24:40Thank you so much.
24:43Thank you, brother.
24:44Thank you.
24:44Son, I am Shah Rukh Khan, not Bairu Khan.
24:48There is a scene that I want to share with you.
24:50You must have seen the film,
24:51Kabhi Khushi, Kabhi Gham.
24:52Yes.
24:53Have you seen it?
24:54Yes.
24:54We have sent it, Kabhi Gham.
24:56No, no.
24:57He is very good.
24:58He is a very good actor.
24:59All of you make fun of him.
25:02No, he is like that.
25:03He is like that.
25:05He is like that.
25:05You think I am making fun of him?
25:06No, no.
25:08You are making fun of him.
25:09He is like that.
25:15He is going to be like that after a while.
25:17It is a good thing.
25:18I think it is my last performance.
25:21Okay, the scene of the film is that
25:23the child gets married on his own will.
25:25Absolutely right.
25:26He doesn't listen to his parents.
25:27I think this is a global issue.
25:29Now, the scene is like this.
25:30Amitabh Bachchan is standing there.
25:32Another great legend.
25:34And Shah Rukh Khan has come from behind.
25:36He has found out
25:37that the boy has got married somewhere else.
25:39Okay.
25:39Now, Amitabh Bachchan,
25:40music is also playing in the background.
25:49Today, you have proved
25:56that you are not my blood.
25:57Kabhi Khushi.
26:00You have ruined my dignity.
26:02Shah Rukh Khan has entered in a while.
26:08I...
26:11I...
26:16Babuji...
26:18Babuji, I was looking into his eyes.
26:19Think about it.
26:20You all know that
26:22if Shah Rukh Khan was from Mirpur
26:24or from Patwari,
26:25what would he have said?
26:26Hey, Babuji.
26:28He looked into my eyes.
26:30I said,
26:32He said,
26:33Babuji said,
26:34Babuji said,
26:36Thank you.
26:37Very nice.
26:38Very nice.
26:39Thank you.
26:40Almost everyone doesn't know about stand-up comedy.
26:43Yes.
26:44But in the end,
26:46I want to give a gift to all of you.
26:48Yes.
26:49Congratulations.
26:50Congratulations.
26:51Congratulations.
26:52Congratulations.
26:53Congratulations.
26:54It's a no dollar pound.
26:56It means,
26:57you have started busking.
26:58Yes.
27:00I will personally give you 250 pounds.
27:05No doubt,
27:06Mr. Maroom,
27:07this is for you.
27:08May God bless you with a good car.
27:09Then you will come under it.
27:11Wow.
27:12Look, what a beautiful story.
27:14If you don't do stand-up comedy,
27:16break it and do it.
27:17It will affect your health.
27:20Okay, our Pakistani community
27:22watches your show a lot.
27:24They enjoy it a lot.
27:25They all watch it together.
27:27I will tell you a real story like this.
27:29Innocence still exists.
27:30Innocence still exists among people.
27:32One of my friends,
27:33he had a dream
27:34that 15 boys beat him up.
27:36Okay.
27:37Yes.
27:38This is a real story.
27:39He woke up in the morning
27:40and messaged us on WhatsApp.
27:42We will sleep together tonight
27:43because we are going to beat them up.
27:46So, you have performed in the UK.
27:48Yes.
27:49At how many venues?
27:50A lot.
27:52And Alhamdulillah,
27:53mostly it has been closed.
27:55Do you have any jokes
27:56that are the most famous there?
27:58These are the ones
27:59that are not happening here.
28:00I am telling you.
28:01I am telling you.
28:02I am telling you.
28:03It's really fun.
28:04It's really fun.
28:05The fun that I enjoy
28:06is that of the couples.
28:07The couples that come to watch.
28:09The ladies are very well-dressed.
28:12Mashallah,
28:13all the men are like us.
28:15Like Agha,
28:16like Sir,
28:17mashallah.
28:18D-Shape is here.
28:19He has a D-shape here.
28:20So, that one time,
28:21this is also a real incident.
28:23I asked someone in an audience
28:25and they told me an incident.
28:27They said that
28:28At night, I didn't want to stay with him.
28:31I wanted to stay with your uncle at night.
28:33I would have become an uncle then.
28:34Your uncle was abusing me at night.
28:37I was in my sleep and he was abusing me.
28:41Uncle said, you are mistaken.
28:43I said, what do you mean?
28:44He said, I wasn't in my sleep.
28:48Look, ladies' requests are also like that, Agha ji.
28:50Go and get some moon and stars.
28:53Agha sir, the girl said, can you get some moon and stars?
28:55He said, bring a stool. I will try.
28:59Sir, if you have a household name in the UK,
29:01do you have any female fans there?
29:03Yes, there are female fans everywhere.
29:05I have a couple of fans.
29:07So, we have a crazy incident of a female fan.
29:09Yes, there is an incident of a fan that he recognised.
29:11There is a girl who is a fan.
29:12A girl? No, I don't think I am that popular.
29:16No, no, you are.
29:17Now I will become popular. I have come to Hoshi Aarya.
29:19I have come.
29:20Yes.
29:21In the next show, please do ask me a question.
29:24Sometimes..
29:25But there is one thing for sure.
29:26Once a fan said a very good thing.
29:29I will tell you a beautiful incident of a fan.
29:32This is a genuine incident.
29:33Look, there is no one like you.
29:36And I tried very hard,
29:38I tried to make a name for my country, Pakistan, for so many years.
29:42Which I think will end after this episode.
29:45It was that I have a lady.
29:48Her mother was going through cancer.
29:51In those days, we used to have a show.
29:53I used to do it in the name of control room.
29:55I used to come in the get-up.
29:56She used to watch it and she said that
29:59she was very happy at that time.
30:00Oh, wow!
30:01But she is not going to survive.
30:03Oh, wow!
30:04Of course, it used to be like that.
30:05But applause for her.
30:07For all of you, stand-up comedy has come out of all of you.
30:11Now do this work. Don't leave it.
30:14So, Mani, are you married?
30:15Yes, due to my misfortunes.
30:17Does your wife allow you to do stand-up comedy?
30:19Yes, absolutely.
30:20Does she come to your shows?
30:22No.
30:23No, she doesn't come.
30:23Your wife promised that she will come the day you do the right thing.
30:28Although she should have come today.
30:31I got married last year.
30:33Oh, wow!
30:33Sir, congratulations.
30:34Wow!
30:36May God bless you.
30:37May God bless you.
30:38We need your blessings.
30:39So, what do you think is the reason
30:41why you got married so late?
30:43No one ever told me.
30:44It's our own foolishness.
30:45What?
30:46People are thinking about themselves.
30:51When you go home..
30:52Yes.
30:52What do you tell your wife?
30:54That you met with an accident?
30:55What?
30:55What?
30:56He goes home after 15-20 days.
30:59What does your wife tell you?
31:01That you met with an accident?
31:02What did she tell me?
31:03She tells me not to go home after 15-20 days.
31:04What should I tell her?
31:06She tells me..
31:07She means to say that when you go home..
31:11Accident.
31:17Charlie, when you go home and tell your wife something..
31:19She tells you to send me a message on WhatsApp.
31:24Wow!
31:26Thank you very much.
31:27I enjoyed it a lot.
31:29You take a short break.
31:30Don't go anywhere.
31:31See you after the break.
31:32Brother, did you work on the film as well?
31:34The drum is beating.
31:35You were doing this in the background.
31:37I did this in Jurassic Park.
31:41What was in it?
31:42Jurassic Park.
31:43This is the first entry of a dinosaur.
31:46What was happening in Jurassic Park?
31:48Look, what a respectable man is doing for his stomach.
32:00Welcome back, viewers.
32:02Yes, sir.
32:03Mr. Haroon, we have invited two identical twins to the show.
32:07The two who are sitting in front of us?
32:09Yes.
32:09What is this story? Tell us.
32:11God bless you.
32:12Who is this couple?
32:14I have seen a famous singer.
32:15So, I have chosen two.
32:16They are identical twins.
32:17They sing very well.
32:19And they sing the same way.
32:20Really?
32:21Their voices are also the same?
32:22Yes, the same.
32:22Why are there two of them?
32:23One of them..
32:24Take care of one of them.
32:25If one of them gets spoilt, then the other one..
32:27And God bless you..
32:28The twins must be twins.
32:29Okay, the twins are twins.
32:33And God bless you, there are two of them.
32:35But their faces are the same.
32:36Yes.
32:36One of them can lose.
32:37The other one can win.
32:39I didn't bring him.
32:41What is this story?
32:42Why are there two of them?
32:43Why not one of them?
32:44We will have to ask our parents why there are two of them.
32:48They were wondering why there are two of them.
32:50Uncle and auntie have made us do this.
32:54Okay, do one thing.
32:55I want to check something about identical twins.
32:59Okay.
32:59Both of you stand here.
33:02And turn your backs towards each other.
33:05You face this way and you face that way.
33:08Yes..
33:09Don't look at each other. Stay away.
33:10And don't look back.
33:12Look ahead.
33:14Now, both of you..
33:15You look that way.
33:16Okay, both of you raise one of your hands.
33:20Did you see?
33:21Yes.
33:22Put it down.
33:22Now, you don't have to look at me.
33:24Both of you raise one leg.
33:28Did you see?
33:29What?
33:30They don't know which leg the other one is raising.
33:33But it's the same leg.
33:35Wow!
33:36Are you noticing this?
33:37Yes.
33:38Wow, that's great.
33:39You did a great job.
33:41If Mr. Agha is not here..
33:43Yes, he wouldn't have been here.
33:44And when you were born..
33:45When he was born, he didn't even drink water for a couple of days.
33:56Greetings, sir.
33:57Greetings. Who are they?
33:59Bring them here quickly.
34:00Mr. Arun, they are twins, but they are not identical.
34:03Is it?
34:04Yes.
34:04I understood from their example.
34:07What?
34:08The butcher himself came to kill me.
34:14Who are you?
34:15I will tell you, sir. I am a doctor.
34:17I am a butcher.
34:18He is 11 years old.
34:18I am a senior.
34:20You are a senior, sir.
34:21So, sir..
34:22Don't call him a senior. Call him a senior.
34:25You are talking about him.
34:27He looks like you and me.
34:31He is the real one.
34:32He is right.
34:33Okay.
34:34Don't you want to speak?
34:37Why do you want to do this?
34:38We don't want to make a sacrifice.
34:40Our child is sick. We want to give charity to the goat.
34:43You are supposed to come on Eid.
34:46It is your turn now.
34:49I did it yesterday.
34:50I did it the day before yesterday and yesterday as well.
34:52It is their turn now.
34:53It has been a long time since we celebrated Eid.
34:56How long has it been? It has been just a month.
34:59We make a sacrifice on Eid.
35:00We do it on Eid, but there is a continuation of Eid.
35:03After such a long time, should I have taken care of the animals?
35:06When we have patchwork after a month,
35:07don't we ask you to wear continuity clothes?
35:09No.
35:11Who is such a well-educated butcher?
35:13He is the one.
35:13Is he holding a knife or is he a butcher?
35:16He is not holding a knife. He is playing cards.
35:19For the first time, I have seen a butcher
35:21wearing such a nice watch.
35:22Yes.
35:23No, it is not a watch. It is my hand.
35:26I had brought it from the market.
35:27The doctor gifted it to me.
35:29Listen, we are here to make a sacrifice.
35:32We don't want to leave without making a sacrifice.
35:34Is he a fatso?
35:36No.
35:36I thought he had undergone a back surgery
35:38and he is a fatso.
35:40Okay, we don't want to do it. Let's go.
35:42Sir, we don't have time.
35:45Hold this.
35:46Sit there.
35:46No, sir.
35:47Give him a rope.
35:50No.
35:50Believe me, if you sit on the side,
35:52you will see that half of the mace is hidden behind the butcher.
35:56He is a butcher.
35:58He brings his own mace and says,
35:59here is your mace.
36:02Sir, sorry. We haven't prepared our animals.
36:05Oh, really?
36:07You look so bad.
36:09We will do it tomorrow.
36:10We don't want to do it.
36:13We don't want to do it.
36:14We don't want to do it.
36:16Okay, fine.
36:17Leave now. We don't want to do it.
36:19We will leave now.
36:20No, we don't have any animals.
36:21What is this?
36:22Sir, we don't have any animals.
36:24Yes.
36:25Sir, I am blind.
36:27I have been doing this for the past three days.
36:30I have brought my own mace.
36:31Oh!
36:32Yes.
36:32Sir, you have a mace moustache, right?
36:35Sir, you are angry.
36:37Open it and show me.
36:38Why?
36:39We will beat you up.
36:43Okay, tell me.
36:44How much money are you taking to slaughter a goat?
36:46Give it to me.
36:47Rs. 15,000.
36:48Rs. 15,000?
36:49Yes, if you want to eat it.
36:51If you want to slaughter a goat, Rs. 30,000.
36:53Rs. 30,000?
36:54Sir, look at the rate of the goat.
36:56Where did it go?
36:57You are not a goat.
36:59And listen to me.
37:00Yes.
37:00If you want to sacrifice a goat,
37:02you have to give us your mace.
37:04You have to give us your mace
37:05and we will give you our knife as well.
37:07No, no, no.
37:08We have our knife.
37:09We are professionals.
37:09Mace is yours.
37:10Mace is ours?
37:11Yes.
37:12And the goat is also ours?
37:13Yes.
37:13Then what is this?
37:14This is my sister's.
37:15Oh!
37:16Oh!
37:17Okay, okay.
37:18Brother, you can go.
37:20Mr. Haroon will do the slaughtering himself.
37:22Yes.
37:23Sister, you can do the slaughtering yourself.
37:24Give us our money.
37:25We will go.
37:25Who?
37:26For what?
37:26We have not come here to sacrifice.
37:28We have come to book.
37:29What did you do with the slaughter?
37:30I didn't get it done.
37:32The thing is that the actor gets paid
37:34on the day of the shoot.
37:35That's why the butcher runs away
37:36with the goat in the slaughter.
37:44That's why the butcher used to say
37:45that you had a goat.
37:46I used to say, how did you get a goat?
37:48I used to search for it.
37:50And I found out that the goat was eaten raw.
37:53Okay, I am sorry.
37:54I am not body shaming you.
37:55But you should be fit to slaughter animals.
37:58You can't do this with so much body weight.
38:00Sister, you don't know.
38:02You have got a nail punch.
38:03The BBC keeps on talking.
38:05And the goat doesn't move at all.
38:07No, no. I am telling the truth.
38:09I have seen the goat being released.
38:10Really?
38:11Yes.
38:11It doesn't stop.
38:12It kicks and releases you.
38:14And the butcher
38:16uses the goat's skin to get the goat.
38:18Even I remember that.
38:20And the butcher looks into the goat's eyes
38:22and uses the skin to get the goat.
38:25And the butcher says on Sundays
38:27that leave the goat and come to the farm.
38:29What a nice way of saying it.
38:32What a nice way of saying it.
38:37Butcher, have you ever slaughtered a camel?
38:41No.
38:41No.
38:42You don't know what we have slaughtered.
38:44Tell him.
38:45Yes, we have.
38:48No, we haven't.
38:49Yes.
38:49What are you doing?
38:50What is this?
38:51I had a goat.
38:52I had raised it since it was a baby.
38:53Yes.
38:54That's what we used to do.
38:57That's what we used to do.
38:58You remember that.
38:59I want to tell you something clearly.
39:00Yes.
39:01We don't want that goat.
39:02Okay.
39:03We want this goat.
39:04Give it to me.
39:05Hey, move back.
39:06Come here.
39:07Hey, move back.
39:08Hey, move back.
39:09We brought it today.
39:10We will keep it till we die.
39:12Brother, we brought it today.
39:13We will keep it till we die.
39:14Oh, you brought it directly from the UK.
39:17Brother, did you work in a film?
39:18Hey, Dholi, hit the drum.
39:20You used to do this in the back.
39:22He did this in Jurassic Park.
39:25What was in it?
39:26Jurassic Park.
39:27This is the first entry of a dinosaur.
39:31What was going on in Jurassic Park?
39:32Look, what a respectable man is doing for his stomach.
39:39Okay, guys, go from here.
39:40There was a film.
39:41Which one?
39:41The one where..
39:45You are such a funny man.
39:46Get out of here.
39:47There was a film in between.
39:49Which film was it?
39:49The one where he will bend.
39:51Yes, that one.
39:52He won't bend.
39:52No, sir.
39:53He won't bend for the sake of his health.
39:58I could hear you outside.
40:00You were laughing so loudly.
40:02Oh.
40:03I don't laugh loudly.
40:06When he was laughing outside,
40:07his stomach was also moving.
40:09How do you laugh?
40:12Mr. Haroon, if you search him,
40:14he has eaten one of your ACs.
40:16He says, I am very hot inside.
40:18Are you a goat or not?
40:21No.
40:22No?
40:22You are embarrassing me.
40:24What are you doing?
40:25Okay, give me the money.
40:26We will go.
40:27Why should I give you money?
40:28Keep quiet.
40:28Let's go to the audience.
40:29Let's go to the audience.
40:31Who will go to the audience?
40:32Hello, brother.
40:34Irza.
40:34Irza?
40:35Okay, you are from Chhattisgarh.
40:37Okay, you wait here.
40:39We want to talk to the audience.
40:40Okay.
40:40I will announce that whoever wants to sit,
40:43tie my legs.
40:48You have eaten our entire segment.
40:50Let's go to the audience.
40:52Wow.
40:53Greetings, everyone.
40:54Greetings.
40:55How are you all?
40:56We are fine, thank you.
40:57My name is Heena Basit.
40:58Okay.
40:59And I want to sing a song for you.
41:01Wow.
41:03Wow.
41:29When you leave, my life is lost.
41:40I swear on you, my love.
41:48Listen to me.
41:57Don't be stubborn today.
42:04Wow.
42:06We will die.
42:10We will be ruined.
42:14Don't say such things.
42:22Don't be stubborn today.
42:30Don't be stubborn today.
42:36Wow.
42:38She is amazing.
42:39She is amazing.
42:40She is amazing.
42:41You sang very well.
42:42Do you take training to sing?
42:45What do you do?
42:46I have learnt it.
42:48Okay.
42:48Properly.
42:49Okay.
42:49Yes.
42:50I am also a beautician.
42:52Okay.
42:53Yes.
42:53So you have learnt singing properly.
42:55I can see that.
42:56Yes.
42:57You sang very well.
42:58You are great.
42:58You know, he told me that he doesn't want to go.
43:03Why are you crying?
43:04Yes.
43:05He has come to take her.
43:07He has come to take her.
43:08He thinks she is a widow.
43:10Sister, can I get your teacher's number?
43:12Why?
43:13I want to give it to Amanat.
43:14Wow.
43:18Next.
43:19Greetings.
43:19Greetings.
43:20My name is Hira Jamshed.
43:22Okay.
43:22My question is to Mr. Saeem.
43:24Okay.
43:25Mr. Saeem, when you get a medical test done
43:27you take a little blood for that.
43:29After that, how many bottles of blood do you take?
43:34After giving the test, I have a problem.
43:37Yes.
43:38I have to take a lot of blood for that.
43:40Dad, I know that blood is a habit for you.
43:43Yes.
43:44But how much blood will you take?
43:47I have to take 25 mosquitoes on my head.
43:49I have told him that he thinks I am a mosquito.
43:58Okay, today we have with us
43:59Mohammad Hassan and Abdul Rehman.
44:02Wow.
44:03You are identical twins.
44:05You sing together.
44:06You sing the same song.
44:07You take the same payment.
44:08Wow.
44:09And you sing very well.
44:10Wow.
44:11Come, let's listen to a song from them.
44:12Wow.
44:17Arun, come.
44:19Come.
44:20Come.
44:21Wow.
44:21Come.
44:22Wow.
44:23Come on, do it.
44:24Come on, do it.
44:25Come on.
44:25This is very difficult.
44:27Come on, do it.
44:28Listen to me.
44:29What are you doing?
44:30I am a little fat.
44:31Do it.
44:32Listen to me.
44:33Today's show is over.
44:34What are you doing?
44:35In the next show..
44:36Oh, no.
44:36We have done a lot.
44:38Come on.