Hoshyarian | Haroon Rafiq | Comedy Show | 10th November 2023
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00:00 "Hoshiyaariyaan Hoshiyaariyaan"
00:02 Greetings, viewers. I am Haroon Rafiq and you are watching Hoshiyaariyaan.
00:05 Friends, if people are upset with you for changing,
00:10 you should be upset with them for not changing at all.
00:14 If people are upset with you for being busy all the time,
00:18 you should be upset with them for being free all the time.
00:22 If people are upset with you for being behind new things all the time,
00:27 for talking about new things, you should be upset with them
00:30 for talking about old things.
00:32 Remember, if people are upset with you,
00:36 you should not be upset with them. You should be upset with yourself
00:38 because you are moving ahead.
00:40 Remember that a fly is always cheap and not busy.
00:46 It is always sitting and doing everything in the old way.
00:50 Whereas a honeybee is always looking for new flowers.
00:53 You should never see it being cheap. You should never see it relaxing.
00:58 Let's start today's show with this message.
01:01 Let's take you to the musicians and listen to their talks.
01:05 Greetings.
01:07 Greetings. How are you, Haroon?
01:08 The star did a great job. - Yes.
01:11 Let the star do it. Let him do it till the end.
01:13 Mr. Haroon, he won't say that we should go to the musicians.
01:18 What did he say? - Let's go to the bearded ones.
01:20 Tell us, why is he playing the tabla?
01:23 Because he comes to our house and you are sitting here.
01:28 He is the star. Wait, aunty.
01:32 No, this is a complete package. Understand this.
01:34 We are his grandchildren. Haroon Rafiq and his grandchildren.
01:37 They sit on the beard.
01:39 He sits on the beard. - Yes.
01:41 He is the central of the kingdom.
01:42 Mr. Haroon, do you know what is the sign of a good honey?
01:47 What is it? - I won't tell you.
01:48 I won't tell you.
01:49 One day, I got real honey. I asked him what is the sign of real honey.
01:53 Yes. - It will form a thread.
01:55 Okay. - I put my finger in it and it got stuck.
01:58 After an hour, I broke the bottle and cut my finger.
02:03 We don't get it, but he must get it.
02:06 How? - His aunt is a bee.
02:08 But sir, the big bee gets angry.
02:12 I have a doubt on you.
02:15 Will you give birth to daughters from a small bee? No.
02:17 (LAUGHTER)
02:19 I have written it on a shop. - What?
02:23 The one who proves the real honey will get Rs. 100,000.
02:27 And the one who wrote it on the shop, he didn't open the shop.
02:31 Don't you like us coming to you?
02:35 You will come to me.
02:37 Yes. - In the name of God.
02:38 No, I.. - The rest of my friends are your fans.
02:41 One is your brother-in-law.
02:43 Yes.
02:44 (LAUGHTER)
02:45 But sir, don't worry about your head.
02:47 It will slip from your head.
02:49 (LAUGHTER)
02:50 Even if it slips, my brother always makes me stand on the slip.
02:53 (LAUGHTER)
02:54 Earlier, he used to stand on the street.
02:56 I told him, 'Uncle, daughters are born here. You don't stand here.'
02:58 (LAUGHTER)
03:00 I never left the slip. - Okay.
03:01 I never left money.
03:03 Okay. If I could, I would make you stand on the long-on.
03:06 Why? - It will be a little far. You won't be able to see.
03:08 No, actually, you..
03:10 I will make you stand on the long-on
03:12 because your face is long-on.
03:15 (LAUGHTER)
03:16 Okay, brother, I didn't make a mistake by working for him.
03:19 Son, there is no hurry.
03:21 You have to work hard. I have served you.
03:24 What did you serve me? - I have to pay my teachers' fees.
03:26 Yes.
03:27 Mr. Khan, I also feel like paying my teachers' fees.
03:31 What? - What?
03:32 (LAUGHTER)
03:33 Paying fees?
03:35 You don't look like a beggar.
03:38 He is our only chucaniser. - Okay.
03:40 I took him to the first event the day before yesterday.
03:42 Okay. - I kept Rs. 7000 in the bag.
03:45 (LAUGHTER)
03:46 Okay, give me some money.
03:48 What money? What is written here?
03:50 It is written on your shoulder that you have a thousand wishes.
03:52 You will get what you wish for. - Yes.
03:54 Why did you get a shirt made of your shoulder?
03:57 (LAUGHTER)
03:58 Okay, I have a lot of wishes, but still, I have a few.
04:02 Mr. Khan, do you want to have tea?
04:03 Do you ever drink?
04:05 (LAUGHTER)
04:06 (APPLAUSE)
04:07 I don't know where my husband is.
04:12 I have a new son.
04:14 I will be the one to deliver the groceries this month.
04:16 God bless you.
04:17 I don't have to deliver the groceries.
04:20 (LAUGHTER)
04:21 I am sitting on your groceries.
04:22 I just have to say one thing.
04:23 I don't have anyone to deliver the groceries.
04:25 (LAUGHTER)
04:26 It is God's grace. - Yes.
04:28 I have got an event of Rs. 1 lakh.
04:29 Okay, God bless you. - Look at our house.
04:32 I don't think it is a single man's house.
04:35 Actually, our house.. - Yes.
04:37 It is not a single man's house. Look over there.
04:38 Yes. - I think we have got a CT scan.
04:41 (LAUGHTER)
04:42 I want to say something.
04:43 You can tell me this seriously.
04:45 On a very serious note, you can tell me.
04:47 I have seen the fun cars.
04:49 I have seen their houses.
04:51 The wallpapers and the fun..
04:54 They are so colourful.
04:56 There are flowers on one wall.
04:58 There is a carpet on one wall.
05:00 It is so weird.
05:01 And it is very bling.
05:03 It is very bling.
05:04 What is the reason for that?
05:05 The reason is that when someone writes a report..
05:08 Yes. - ..he doesn't say this.
05:09 (LAUGHTER)
05:11 On a serious note, I can't say this.
05:13 I am also very serious.
05:15 (LAUGHTER)
05:16 I am as serious as you are.
05:19 (LAUGHTER)
05:20 Don't talk to him.
05:21 You have a headache.
05:23 (LAUGHTER)
05:24 (APPLAUSE)
05:25 Why don't you bring a Jiddat in your work?
05:30 Jiddat? - I will make you sing a song.
05:32 (LAUGHTER)
05:33 Sing some modern melodies.
05:37 It is not modern.
05:38 But when you play it, you can tell that it is modern.
05:41 You can do fusion.
05:43 Tell us if we are doing fusion.
05:45 (LAUGHTER)
05:47 I have been doing fusion for 12-13 years.
05:50 Okay. - I have never done fusion.
05:52 How? - I used to sing western.
05:55 Okay.
05:56 You used to sing western.
05:57 We have Arzu. She sings western.
06:00 You can collaborate with her.
06:01 I have no objection if you want to do fusion.
06:04 (LAUGHTER)
06:05 Let's do it.
06:06 You start with Gulon Mein Rang.
06:09 You can do fusion in western.
06:12 It would be fun. Okay.
06:14 (APPLAUSE)
06:15 (SINGING)
06:23 (SINGING)
06:28 It will work.
06:30 (LAUGHTER)
06:32 You were smart.
06:35 (LAUGHTER)
06:37 Not Badalon Mein.
06:38 Badenau Bahar.
06:40 I don't know.
06:41 No. Bahar Ki Hawa.
06:43 (SINGING)
06:50 (SINGING)
06:57 (SINGING)
07:05 (SPEAKING IN HINDI)
07:06 (LAUGHTER)
07:07 (APPLAUSE)
07:08 What will happen if we translate it?
07:12 (SPEAKING IN HINDI)
07:15 (LAUGHTER)
07:16 It's Doja Cat's song.
07:19 'A woman, let me be your woman.'
07:20 I am translating it.
07:22 (SPEAKING IN HINDI)
07:24 (SPEAKING IN HINDI)
07:26 Okay. Fusion is done.
07:27 (LAUGHTER)
07:28 She agreed.
07:30 (LAUGHTER)
07:31 I will be your woman.
07:34 Only till the collaboration.
07:36 No. Never. Nothing. Not at all.
07:38 We are not such people
07:40 that we will do it as a collaboration.
07:42 I am sorry.
07:43 (LAUGHTER)
07:44 Mr. Khan, you had no intention of saying I love you.
07:47 I did a collaboration with you
07:49 but it doesn't mean you should do fusion.
07:51 (LAUGHTER)
07:52 I will not disappoint you.
07:55 I will get you the best panty shirt.
07:57 (LAUGHTER)
07:58 Mr. Khan. - Yes.
08:00 Get me a challery. I will get you.
08:02 (LAUGHTER)
08:03 I will get you the panty shirt.
08:05 (LAUGHTER)
08:07 I will get you the challery.
08:08 I will get you the glove.
08:10 Greetings.
08:11 Greetings.
08:12 Is Mr. Khan at home?
08:13 No. Mr. Arana is sitting.
08:14 Mr. Cheema is sitting.
08:15 (LAUGHTER)
08:16 (APPLAUSE)
08:18 I have brought a photo straight machine from the court.
08:22 (LAUGHTER)
08:23 I didn't say that I will get you a keropal.
08:26 (LAUGHTER)
08:27 Where are you? Tell me your name.
08:29 Sir, my name is Nadeem.
08:31 (SPEAKING HINDI)
08:32 You won't be Nadeem.
08:33 (LAUGHTER)
08:34 Nadeem doesn't exist.
08:35 (LAUGHTER)
08:37 Nadeem doesn't exist in this area.
08:38 (LAUGHTER)
08:39 Sir, I have a request.
08:40 My marriage is getting fixed.
08:42 You won't go to the place where your marriage is getting fixed.
08:45 Really? - They can open the marriage for you.
08:48 (LAUGHTER)
08:49 If it is opened, it won't get fixed again.
08:51 (LAUGHTER)
08:52 You should try to keep it fixed as much as possible.
08:55 (LAUGHTER)
08:56 (LAUGHTER)
08:57 Wait, I will bring the marriage to Maya.
08:59 (LAUGHTER)
09:00 (SPEAKING HINDI)
09:01 I don't think she has noticed that the child is not there.
09:05 (LAUGHTER)
09:06 The child is wearing a banana under his shirt.
09:08 (LAUGHTER)
09:09 (SPEAKING HINDI)
09:10 Does this banana go under the shirt?
09:12 No, no, no. It goes. You don't know.
09:14 It was white. He didn't wash it.
09:16 (LAUGHTER)
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09:18 (SPEAKING HINDI)
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23:53 Wow!
23:54 Wow!
23:55 Excellent!
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23:58 Excellent!
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25:36 (MUSIC PLAYING)
25:37 (SINGING HOSHIYAARIA)
25:38 (SINGING HOSHIYAARIA)
25:39 (SINGING HOSHIYAARIA)
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25:44 (SINGING HOSHIYAARIA)
25:45 Welcome back to Hoshiyaaria, viewers.
25:47 We laughed a lot.
25:48 Sanjeet's next shock.
25:50 (LAUGHTER)
25:51 (CHEERING)
25:52 We have thought of playing a new game today.
25:55 We have called three people from the audience.
25:59 We have asked some questions to all three of them.
26:02 Now, we will tell our talent their names,
26:05 the answers to those questions.
26:07 And my talent has to guess
26:10 whose name, hobby and answers are those.
26:14 - So, shall we start? - Yes, please.
26:16 First of all, one of them is Hasnain Gauri.
26:19 - What? - Hasnain Gauri.
26:22 Hasnain Gauri.
26:23 The one who is standing there. He is confirmed.
26:25 Yes, the one who is wearing a black shirt.
26:27 - Very good. - Lock him in a black shirt.
26:28 He is the only one who has seen a missile in my head.
26:30 (LAUGHTER)
26:32 I think you have met him.
26:33 He was not wearing a Gauri shirt earlier.
26:35 (LAUGHTER)
26:36 Okay, the one who says he is Hasnain Gauri,
26:38 the one in black shirt, raise your hand.
26:40 One, two, three. Put it down.
26:43 The one who says he is the middle one, Hasnain Gauri.
26:45 - Yes, sir. - Yes.
26:47 One, two, three. Three.
26:48 - And the last one. - Agar has said it.
26:50 - Okay, Agar has said it. - I have said it.
26:51 - Four. - I have said it too.
26:52 - Five. - Five.
26:54 So, the one in the centre,
26:56 we will call him Hasnain Gauri.
26:57 - Okay. - Okay?
26:59 You are Hasnain Gauri.
27:01 The second one is Rana Waqas.
27:02 - Rana is here. - Rana Waqas is here.
27:05 Yes, he is the one in the green shirt.
27:06 - Rana Waqas. - Rana Waqas is the one in the green shirt.
27:08 - Rana is from Nukra. - Why?
27:10 Because of food and Rana.
27:11 - Okay, because of food. - Yes.
27:13 The one who thinks he is Rana Waqas.
27:15 - Yes. - Yes.
27:17 Okay, you are Rana Waqas.
27:19 Sir, and now, Adil Jatt.
27:22 - Now, there is only one left. - He is the middle one.
27:25 You are Adil Jatt.
27:26 He has killed many snakes and broken two of them.
27:28 (LAUGHTER)
27:30 One of them is 23 years old, the other is 24 years old
27:33 and the third one is 28 years old.
27:34 - Who is the 23 year old? - The middle one.
27:36 - Get up, it's time for the show. - Yes, the middle one.
27:38 - Yes, the middle one. - The middle one is 23 years old.
27:39 Jatt is 23 years old.
27:41 He is just walking around.
27:43 Okay, now I will tell you his real name.
27:46 - Okay. - Tell us his name.
27:47 You made him Hasnain Gauri.
27:49 - Yes. - Who did you make?
27:50 The middle one.
27:51 - The middle one? - Yes.
27:52 Hasnain Gauri.
27:53 Brown shirt.
27:54 He is Rana Waqas.
27:56 - He is here. - Okay.
27:57 And the one in the green shirt
27:59 is Hasnain Gauri.
28:00 I didn't make him Gauri.
28:02 Okay, and Adil Jatt is also here.
28:04 - I told you. - Oh, yes.
28:06 Now we will go with Irza.
28:07 Irza, who is the 23 year old?
28:09 He is the middle one.
28:11 Okay, the 24 year old.
28:12 He is the 24 year old.
28:14 He is the 24 year old.
28:15 And he is 28 years old.
28:17 - He is 28 years old. - Break it.
28:18 Okay, one second.
28:19 24 and 28 years old.
28:20 Is this about the waist?
28:22 - Yes. - Yes.
28:23 - About the waist. - Yes.
28:23 It's about the waist.
28:25 Let him talk.
28:26 (LAUGHTER)
28:27 The 23 year old in the green shirt, raise your hand.
28:30 No.
28:31 - It's not like that. - It's just two.
28:34 It means.. And the 23 year old in the brown shirt?
28:36 - Yes. - Yes.
28:37 - Yes, the brown one. - Yes.
28:39 Five. Okay, you are 23 years old.
28:41 And the 28 year old is Birjat?
28:43 - Yes. - Yes.
28:44 Okay, you guessed it right.
28:46 28, 23, 24.
28:48 (CHEERING)
28:49 (APPLAUSE)
28:52 Give the mic to the audience.
28:54 Tell the audience who is the butcher.
28:58 The black shirt one is the butcher.
29:00 You are the butcher.
29:01 Okay.
29:02 Okay, he is the butcher.
29:04 - And the audience.. - Sir, she wanted to say the kid.
29:07 What is she saying? Give it to her.
29:09 Who do you think is the uncle who chews?
29:13 The black shirt one.
29:14 - The black shirt one. - Black shirt.
29:15 And she is right.
29:16 (CHEERING)
29:18 (APPLAUSE)
29:20 You didn't ask me who the butcher is.
29:22 Is the meat of your house cooked?
29:24 (LAUGHING)
29:24 Okay, one of them is the dispenser.
29:28 - Mr. Rana. - She wants to guess.
29:30 Give the mic to her.
29:31 - Brown shirt. - Brown.
29:33 The brown shirt one is the dispenser.
29:35 - And he is the one who chews. - No.
29:37 There is a civil engineer among them.
29:39 - Oh. - Who thinks that
29:42 the green shirt one is the civil engineer,
29:46 raise your hand.
29:48 Only two or three of you.
29:49 Who thinks that the middle one is the civil engineer,
29:53 raise your hand.
29:55 And he looks more like a criminal engineer.
29:57 (LAUGHING)
29:59 I think the middle one is the engineer.
30:02 Very good. Absolutely wrong.
30:04 (LAUGHING)
30:08 My brother is the civil engineer.
30:10 One of them is fond of eating.
30:13 - And one.. - He is not an engineer.
30:15 (LAUGHING)
30:16 One of them is fond of eating and the other is fond of singing.
30:19 - He is fond of singing. - He is fond of singing.
30:23 He is fond of singing. Who is fond of eating?
30:25 If no one thinks, then he eats two times.
30:28 - Civil engineer.. - No, Mr. Shat..
30:29 Civil engineer..
30:31 - Yes. - He is fond of singing.
30:33 - And he is fond of eating. - He is fond of eating.
30:34 All my hobbies are dead.
30:36 (LAUGHING)
30:38 One of them is fond of business.
30:40 Mr. Shat is fond of business.
30:42 No. I think the brown shirt one is..
30:45 First, listen to me.
30:46 First, you should applaud for your understanding.
30:49 - I understand. - Wow.
30:50 (APPLAUSE)
30:52 - Wow. - Now, you start talking.
30:54 Brown shirt one, play my song.
30:56 (LAUGHING)
30:57 Who do you think is the brown shirt one?
30:59 I think he is fond of business.
31:01 - Is Gauri fond of singing? - Yes.
31:03 Gauri, raise your hand.
31:04 You are fond of singing, right? Sing something.
31:07 I would like to dedicate this song to Mr. Agha Majid.
31:11 - I am a big fan of him. - Wow.
31:13 - What a song! - And I have come to meet Mr. Agha.
31:17 - Wow. - Wow.
31:19 He is doing his work well.
31:21 - But Mr. Agha is amazing. - Wow.
31:24 (APPLAUSE)
31:25 - Wow. - He is amazing.
31:26 - Yes, I am. - You are a devoted fellow.
31:28 (LAUGHING)
31:30 (SINGING)
31:32 (SINGING)
31:59 Wow.
32:00 (SINGING)
32:22 Wow.
32:23 (SINGING)
32:40 Wow.
32:41 (APPLAUSE)
32:44 - Very good. - Very good.
32:45 - Gauri, I have a question. - Yes.
32:48 - You are not a criminal. - No, I am not.
32:51 - I have a question. - Yes.
32:53 You are not a criminal like me.
32:55 (LAUGHING)
32:58 - What did you recognize? - Wow.
33:00 (LAUGHING)
33:03 - Okay. - Very good.
33:04 If that is the case, I would like to tell you
33:07 that Mr. Agha Majid is a criminal in small packets too.
33:10 (LAUGHING)
33:12 When did Mr. Agha become a criminal in big packets?
33:13 (LAUGHING)
33:14 I have given you a small packet from where you asked for it.
33:17 (LAUGHING)
33:19 - Okay, Mr. Gauri Masail. - Gauri Masail.
33:22 Have you ever learnt to sing from someone?
33:25 No, I mean, just like that.
33:27 - You sing in a high pitch? - Yes, just like that.
33:29 - It is really impressive. - Really.
33:31 - Very good. - Very good.
33:32 God gives it.
33:34 There is a person in this group
33:37 who eats potatoes and cauliflower.
33:39 - He is a very strict person. - Then he is asking a question
33:42 and you are talking about cutting it.
33:44 (LAUGHING)
33:45 Guess the last thing.
33:47 Who eats potatoes and cauliflower?
33:50 - Brown shirt. - Gauri.
33:52 - Gauri? - Yes, sir.
33:53 - Gauri. - Gauri.
33:54 - I am not talking. - Rana Waqas.
33:56 Take the name of other Britishers.
33:58 - Brown shirt. - Rana Waqas.
34:00 - Brown shirt. - Rana Waqas.
34:03 You tell me, dear.
34:04 Brown shirt.
34:06 Our daughter is saying.
34:07 Brown shirt.
34:09 Okay, brown shirt. Let's see who eats it.
34:12 A little ahead.
34:13 He eats it.
34:15 (LAUGHING)
34:17 (APPLAUSE)
34:20 - Thank you very much. - Thank you.
34:22 Please come.
34:24 Thank you.
34:25 Arun sir, the girl is saying, can I sing a song?
34:27 You can sing a song.
34:28 Come here. Come. Sing.
34:30 Go ahead.
34:31 (SINGING)
34:35 (SINGING)
34:47 (SINGING)
34:53 Wow.
34:55 Very nice.
34:57 - Very nice. - Very nice.
34:59 - Very nice. - Well done.
35:01 It's time for music.
35:03 We have Ahmed Nawaz with us.
35:05 Ahmed is going to sing my favourite song.
35:08 Which song is your favourite?
35:09 Please request him to sing my favourite song.
35:12 Ahmed, you know we sang that song on a shooting.
35:15 - It's not that long. - Yes, that's right.
35:17 Ahmed, sing my favourite song.
35:18 - You remember, we went on a shooting. - Oh, yes.
35:20 - The car broke down. - Yes.
35:22 (LAUGHING)
35:23 If you look at Ahmed's face carefully.
35:26 He looks like he will lie down on the floor and ruin his face.
35:29 (LAUGHING)
35:31 (LAUGHING)
35:32 This was today's show.
35:36 We will meet again in the next show.
35:38 Take care.
35:39 Goodbye.
35:40 (SINGING)