Fred's Head - Blow Out Sale
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FunTranscript
00:00It's Captain Spongebob, for twenty times or more.
00:17Yo, all these reruns?
00:20Who do these processed meat eaters take us for?
00:23We're not some pathetic IQ challenge TV viewers that are so easily manipulated.
00:28Actually, I like reruns.
00:30We're on familiar ground.
00:32Sometimes it feels good to revisit some of our favorite moments.
00:38Dance!
00:39Move!
00:41Zoom!
00:42Match lips and eyebrows!
00:51Communicating
00:53Can sometimes feel painful
00:56When coupled with facial reaction
01:03No signs of aging
01:06Faces without wrinkles
01:09Express something on their own
01:15Dance!
01:17Move!
01:18Zoom!
01:20Match lips and eyebrows!
01:27Connecting
01:30Annette, of all the people I've ever met,
01:34you are the most beautiful,
01:37the most talented,
01:39the most intelligent,
01:42the most majestic,
01:44the most charming,
01:46and the most graceful.
01:48I've thought about it, and for all these reasons,
01:51you are the love of my life.
01:57Corny.
01:58Another one she'll never read.
02:06Why do I feel so down today?
02:08Like a rum baba without the rum.
02:11Especially since my life is a whirlpool of gratifying and magical moments.
02:15Gregory Gilbert Pyroski?
02:17Pyroski?
02:23The time has come for Polish ecstasy,
02:26a tantalizing treat for the taste buds.
02:31I even put some pink colored deodorant under my arms.
02:36The two of you made up?
02:48No!
02:57Don't give up!
03:03A lot for nothing,
03:05except possibly seven children, a cottage,
03:07and a collection of fake wood-paneled television sets.
03:11But how do I make these dreams a reality?
03:14Especially when I lack the fertile garden to plant the seeds
03:17and watch my dreams sprout forth.
03:19A woman!
03:23I must rectify this pronto.
03:25My life is an endless stream of unrequited love.
03:39Get up, sunshine! The sun is up!
03:45Thanks for giving me some of your things for my garage sale.
03:49That should help attract a younger clientele with outrageous spending habits.
03:53Is it okay if I take your old magazines?
04:00See you later! Don't forget you're taking my place at noon.
04:03I have my annual volunteer's tournament.
04:10My first sale!
04:12It's the nicest one of those old illustrated books
04:14with the little bright pipe cleaner people that Fred loved as a boy.
04:22I hope you enjoy it, Anemone.
04:25No! Mother!
04:37I've finally gotten my hands on the key to the LeBlanc subject's personality.
04:43Fred's blase attitude is intimately linked to the books he read
04:46and was influenced by in his youth.
04:48His spirit has been guided by the drab colors and images he saw in his infancy.
04:52I am a genius!
04:58Give it up, Annette.
05:00You're just not Fred's type. You saw the girls he was into this year.
05:05I have an old-fashioned trick.
05:07To keep your hair shiny each day, you should give it 55 brush strokes.
05:11Do it!
05:13Wow, Penelope! Look!
05:19I gotta run. I'm going shopping with the girls for some beauty products.
05:22Did you ever think that maybe I like romantic comedy?
05:27Tell me you love me, Fred.
05:29Yes, Manny. You're the love of my life.
05:34That doesn't mean anything. You don't have faith in my charms.
05:37You know that's not the problem.
05:39Come on, let's go.
05:41I really don't want to miss that garage sale.
05:44He might just be there. Come on, hurry!
05:46Oh, girls, they just don't get it.
05:49Makes me want to root for the other team.
05:56Mom, did you happen to find a letter in one of my books telling me it fell out?
06:00Ready, my little firefly?
06:02I don't want to stress you out, but your volunteer couples tournament starts in half an hour.
06:06But we can always cancel if you want.
06:08Oh, nice try.
06:10There is no way Mrs. Gentile is going to steal my trophy this year.
06:13I'm counting on you to sell all this stuff.
06:15And you're not leaving until this table is empty.
06:17But, Mother, I have other things to do.
06:26Moldy. I've got to get it back.
06:31Can I help you?
06:32I'm just looking, thanks.
06:36You're welcome.
06:46Gigi, finally. Can you just watch the garage sale?
06:49I have to go retrieve a love letter I wrote to Annette but then was stolen by anemone before she reads it and destroys my life.
06:54Yeah, why not?
06:55It's not like I have anything better to do than to be your faithful sidekick.
07:00Thanks.
07:02Even my friend's failed relationships are more interesting than my own.
07:11You've been sulking for ten minutes now, Penelope.
07:16In principle, the neurons in your little brain are supposed to delete all information after nine minutes.
07:21It's like I've always said. You're a cow even when you're trying to be nice.
07:26Me? A cow? What are you saying?
07:29Don't go playing innocent. I have tons of examples.
07:32Here are your top ten cow-isms, Jodi.
07:38Men! True hair like yours must unleash all kinds of passion.
07:42Long hair is so rural.
07:46Nine.
07:48Is it me or does that little kid have a face like a monkey?
07:52Eight.
07:54I no longer need this pathetic excuse for a friendship.
07:56I accept your resignation.
08:00Seven.
08:01Annette, bravo.
08:03People who actually find you pretty will think this stuff is great.
08:10It's so pathetic to get dumped by a loser like Fred.
08:15Five.
08:16Mara, sweetie, those flowers make you look fat.
08:21Four.
08:22But 45% is really good for a blonde.
08:26Is that true?
08:28Three.
08:29Hey, Fred and me are in love.
08:31Fred's lying to you, sweetie.
08:33He's in love with another girl.
08:35Two.
08:41Don't go, Annette. This isn't what you think.
08:45One.
08:49There's no room, penny-poo.
08:51I was here first, so beat it.
08:53Beat it.
08:54I'm sure you'll find another closet.
08:56I believe in you, girl.
08:57Go, go, go.
09:02I just love stars.
09:04Wow, I had no idea you were capable of counting backwards from ten.
09:08Yeah, well, it's not like it's multiplication.
09:11What were we talking about again?
09:13Oh, yeah.
09:14You were saying that I was an airhead.
09:16Either you're an airhead or you have a selective memory, sweetie.
09:20Top ten airheaded comments by Penelope.
09:23Ten.
09:26I just love stars.
09:28Nine.
09:29Is that a cat on your head?
09:31Eight.
09:33I love stupid party games.
09:35Seven.
09:36You seeing a dude now?
09:39I can see you.
09:41Six.
09:43Janera, I'm going nuts.
09:45I can't find my potato peeler.
09:47Five.
09:48Oh, wow.
09:49Now that I'm a brunette, I can even read people's minds.
09:53Four.
09:54I'll think about it.
09:55But, Fred, trust me.
09:58Thinking is pointless.
10:00Three.
10:01Gigi, I found your other love bird.
10:08A pigeon.
10:09A pigeon?
10:11Two.
10:12Would you mind not staring at me?
10:14You're not supposed to see me now.
10:16I am incognito.
10:20One.
10:21Oh, look at the pretty touch balls.
10:23I don't want to insult you, Blondie, but could you tell me why you're picking up dog turds?
10:28Yeah.
10:31Two.
10:33Hmm.
10:45This is a garage sale?
10:47This is false advertising.
10:49Do you see a garage for sale?
10:53Huh?
10:54You're never going to sell anything if you keep bawling like that.
10:57Give me 20% of the profits and I'll take your place.
11:00Or somewhere else.
11:01You're going to scare away the clients.
11:05And that'll be 10 bucks for the accordion.
11:20Mrs. Worry Knot?
11:28Hmm?
11:30Hmm?
11:36Don't buy that, Benji-poo.
11:38It's filthy and it's falling apart.
11:40Yeah, but it brings back such great memories.
11:43Hmm.
11:57Not even an argument.
11:59Could you please tell me what just happened?
12:01I used the yes-no method.
12:03It was invented by a great Austrian psychologist.
12:06It's used all over the world.
12:08As soon as you see any danger, you answer yes, no, yes, no.
12:12And it works.
12:13You mean to say as long as I have as few opinions as a vegetable, I'll have no problem?
12:17I'm telling you, Chico, life is pretty darn good when you think less and never argue.
12:21You should try it with Tamara.
12:24Everything's so simple with you, hmm?
12:26I understand life, buddy boy. That's what ruins it.
12:29Ah, my dear Chico, what would you do without me?
12:34I can read your face like a giant teabag.
12:37You need to pour your heart out.
12:39Are you really prepared to lend me your ears?
12:42What a stupid request. Who would want to lend you their ears?
12:45Right.
12:46Who should I confide in about my conjugal disarray?
12:49Here.
12:51Just put your feelings into a song.
12:53It may not find you a soulmate, but it could make you some cash.
13:04Come on, where would she put that stupid old book?
13:15Fatima!
13:18Fatima, Fatima, your butcher shop smell!
13:22Fatima, I'm living in hell.
13:25With sweet shapely arms, you're as cute as a button.
13:28Your rump is so juicy, your legs are like a mutton.
13:31Fatima, my dear, I wish men were you.
13:37But you wanted to eat me before we were wed.
13:40My virtue is steadfast, I released you instead.
13:44Clementine!
13:47Clementine, Clementine, you're not my cup of tea.
13:50Clementine, dear, you were hostile to me.
13:53Your pumpkin-like face and tofu demeanor.
13:56There's no love between us, you couldn't get any meaner.
13:59Clementine, my dear, I wasn't meant for you.
14:06Your furrowed brow reminds me of Poland, my country.
14:09Good thing I run fast, away I must flee.
14:13Fred LeBlanc, ongoing observation, section 243, part 3.
14:17The teenager seems to be preoccupied with personal hygiene.
14:20That's odd.
14:22The subject has hit bottom, I am a genius!
14:27The subject is confused.
14:30I'm hearing voices, or someone's talking to themselves.
14:33Either way, someone somewhere is in need of a psychologist.
14:36I'm hearing voices, or someone's talking to themselves.
14:38Either way, someone somewhere is in need of a psychologist.
14:45Look, you byzantine, it's contaminated by sanctuary.
14:48Jean Beatrice, my Jeanette.
14:52My Jeanette, you've got such a great name.
14:54Jeanette, my girl, you're like fresh roasted dame.
14:57You're my steak with beef, my love, I confess.
15:01I dream of your corseted, bosom in a wide wedding dress.
15:04My Jeanette, my dear, I was meant for you.
15:09But your heart, your liver, would not fight for me.
15:13I respected your choice when I set you free.
15:16Sophie, my Sophie, my Sophie, beneath your omnivorous ranks.
15:21Sophie, the truth is you only eat plants.
15:24With your meatball-like birthmark and dubious intentions.
15:27You play me like a salmon to drive you to the Laurentians.
15:30My Sophie, my dear, I wasn't meant for you.
15:34But an in-law to Jodie, I never will be.
15:37Given the choice, I choose celebacy.
15:43Oh, what a romantic song that was.
15:47I want one, Benji-poo.
15:49Nope, that's awful. You'll never make any money with that.
15:53But it feels so great.
15:55Huh?
15:56I feel so invigorated.
15:58Completely purged of the misery my love life has caused me over the last year.
16:02Hey, where do you think you're going?
16:04Hunting for love.
16:06Somewhere hidden in the shadows, a woman waits for me with a fistful of garlic sausages.
16:11If you leave, my cut goes up to 50%.
16:17Don't you think that if Fred liked you, he would make it more obvious?
16:23Yeah, maybe you're right.
16:25You want to forget about the garage sale?
16:27You don't need to go through that.
16:29You want to go hang out at your place and do nothing to clear your head?
16:32No, thanks. I'm not into it.
16:34I'd rather be alone.
16:36You sure?
16:38Well, then you call me, okay?
16:46Anemone Worry Knot, school psychologist.
16:50It's me.
16:51You have what I want, and I have what you want.
16:53Meet me at St. Jude's in 10 minutes.
17:06Rita, my old friend! Oh, it's been so long!
17:17You scared me to death!
17:19You know, I had a piñata for my fifth birthday.
17:22It was so much fun to hit her and then watch all that candy come out.
17:31I'm so sorry, Rita.
17:37Well, there you go. It's been such a slice seeing you again.
17:41I've seen everything, and for the first time in my life, I don't want to buy anything.
17:46I must have a fever.
17:49I'm going to an emergency!
17:52I better go with her so that she doesn't totally flip out.
17:55Somehow, I don't think they'll rush her through the triage.
18:01Hey, lady with the ugly hair, time you did something with that mop.
18:04How about a nice baseball cap to cover it up?
18:10Wow, nice sales technique. Insulting the clients.
18:12Where did you put Gigi? And what are you doing here?
18:15I'm doing you a favor, Freddy boy.
18:17Actually, I was doing you a favor.
18:19Now, I'm fed up. No one's around and I haven't made a cent.
18:28That was really nice of you. Keep up the good work.
18:48Okay, where are you hiding it?
18:51In a secure place. Somewhere a sensible person would never venture.
19:10Am I going to have to become a chartered accountant for you to find my life boring enough to leave me alone?
19:15Subject Fred is clearly reviewing his career plans.
19:29Hello? Anyone here?
19:46Oh, my word. My son has disappeared and all my little trinkets are still here?
19:52Oh, teenagers. Can't trust them to do anything.
19:55Can I help you, young lady?
19:57You wouldn't be taking advantage of my son's negligence to steal some of my knick-knacks, would you?
20:02Let me see what you've got behind your back.
20:06What's that doing in here? That's not for sale.
20:09And why would you want a picture of my son?
20:13Oh.
20:16Next year, please sign yourself up as a single.
20:31Think about digging up the parking lot of the building to find the copy of the original tape.
20:37You're as cute as a button!
20:39Your rump is so juicy, your legs are like a mutton!
20:42A-ta-da! I'm in!
21:01Hi there.
21:02Come on, it's me.
21:05Come on, it's easy.
21:07Just tell her that you love her.
21:11Start by telling her she's the love of your life.
21:14That she's the only girl in the world for you.
21:17And you'll never look at another gi-
21:19Hey, I saw that!
21:23So, you finished my song then?
21:28Wow, it's beautiful.
21:30Oh, thank you. This is the most romantic moment of my life.
21:41Seems like when we're in love, we could live on love and fresh water alone.
21:44In my case, at the moment, it's more like a cold shower.
22:30Mmm!