Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Tonight in Story From The Heart, a young, underprivileged boy makes his dream come true.
00:15La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:26Tonight's episode of Story From The Heart is presented by Greasy Burger.
00:30Greasy Burger, where condiment rhymes with sentiment.
00:34Your turn.
00:35Thank you, Greasy Burger.
00:37Hm.
00:42Dance, move, tune, match lips and eyebrows.
00:50Communicating can sometimes feel painful when coupled with facial reaction.
01:08No signs of aging, faces without wrinkles express something on their own.
01:20Dance, move, tune, match lips and eyebrows.
01:38I'll tell you one thing, Russia is beautiful.
01:45The countryside, the architecture, the fannies of Russian men.
01:50It's too bad I couldn't bring some back as a souvenir.
01:54Monique, you're unbelievable.
01:57Well, I think it's time to give you your presents.
02:02Huh?
02:04Yeah, I can feel the joy bubbling up.
02:08Quick, call an ambulance, it's going to overflow.
02:11For my darling Fredzie-poo, a Russian garden gnome.
02:16Wow, super.
02:18Thanks, Monique.
02:21Let's go, I'm hungry.
02:23Okay, well, see you ladies.
02:26Let's do the happy family thing again, shall we?
02:35Yeah!
02:42Just like on the poster.
02:47The poster probably tastes better.
02:49Next time, I'll decide where to eat.
02:52And I won't be duped by a stupid ad.
02:55As young urbanites, do we really have time to eat anywhere else?
03:00It's almost good.
03:01You're just upset about the present you got.
03:04You nuts?
03:05A Russian garden gnome?
03:06The gift is positively awesome.
03:08You like it?
03:09But it's useless.
03:12Exactly.
03:13A useful gift is moldy.
03:15Don't tell me you've never seen his unloved collection.
03:20That means I made a mistake with the...
03:22The what?
03:24It's because next week is my little brother's sixth birthday
03:28and I wanted to give him a set of unbreakable dishes.
03:31Are you crazy?
03:32That's sick.
03:33That's enough to traumatize him forever.
03:48It's not really for my brother.
03:50In a few days, I'll be celebrating three and three quarter years friendship with Fred,
03:54my faithful companion with whom I've lived so many ups and downs.
03:58Like the time I found myself naked in the snow
04:01with a lot more than my tongue stuck on the ice.
04:04And you know what Fred did?
04:06It's okay, Gigi. I get the picture.
04:12Well, I think it's time to give you your presents.
04:17Mom, where's my garden gnome?
04:20Monique took it to give it to your cousin.
04:22And you were going to tell me this when exactly?
04:25Honey, we thought you found the gift...
04:28What's the colorful expression you youngsters like to use?
04:32Oh, yes. Moldy.
04:34Moldy?
04:36It's the best gift I've gotten in my life.
04:38For mad Monique, anyway.
04:43A Russian garden gnome!
04:45Wow. Super.
04:47I'm sorry, Sunshine, but that's what you call curbing your enthusiasm.
04:52You could be staring at a blank wall.
04:55Your blasé. I told you this attitude could get you in trouble.
04:59Fred, I've been wanting to tell you something.
05:03I love you. I love you more than anyone ever before.
05:07Wow. Super.
05:09Huh?
05:18Moldy.
05:22Look out.
05:26Chico, what's wrong? I'm destroying you, buddy.
05:30Loser takes the win at a greasy burger. Okay?
05:33Is he going to pay for the barf bag, too?
05:36The barf bag? That's hilarious.
05:38Chico, you kill me.
05:42Benji, do you think I'm blasé?
05:47You kidding? You look like you're above happiness. It's great, man.
05:50Okay, but do I ever seem somewhat happy sometimes?
05:54Huh? You're sick, Chico. Seriously.
05:58You almost had me going. Happy.
06:12Hey, hey, you want to go see Elbow Murderer 2 on the weekend?
06:15Apparently, in this one, the elbow is possessed by a demon and bends the wrong way.
06:22Someday I'd like you to explain to me what your obsession is with dislocated joints.
06:27Experimental Theater Workshop.
06:30Let's sign up.
06:35Oh, I just love your twisted sense of humor.
06:41You were joking, right?
06:43Now I'm not so sure.
06:45Sounds great. Maybe it would teach me how to display the right emotions while unwrapping presents.
06:50Did you guys sign up for the theater workshop, too?
06:53No.
07:09Ladies and gentlemen, it's nice that you've signed up for this theater workshop in such great numbers.
07:19Without further delay, allow me to introduce your professor.
07:24The well-known television actor who created the role of the famous Captain Splendid.
07:32Captain Splendid?
07:35Who's that hero that never falls apart? It's Captain Splendid!
07:41Mommy, I really want to meet Captain Splendid someday.
07:46That's nice, little sunshine.
07:48Don't put that in your mouth.
07:52This man doesn't really need an introduction, but I'll introduce him anyway.
08:00It is myself, George Dugan.
08:11Excuse me, do you have a broken guitar?
08:14A broken guitar?
08:15The kind that a depraved singer would smash on stage to entice impressionable young ladies into throwing him their underwear.
08:23Oh.
08:27Something sort of like this?
08:29Yes, it's perfect!
08:31Well, I get it. You're gonna put a light bulb in it and use it as a funky lamp.
08:38No! I'll never find anything useful!
08:47So, we're going to start with some simple exercises to warm up.
08:52Mime, if you will.
08:53The opening of a delicate petunia after a frost.
09:08Dance for me!
09:10Show me bitterness!
09:16No, no, no, no! That's not how it's done!
09:20Tall boy, put a bit of bounce in those knees!
09:23And you, Swan Lake!
09:26Less pointy with your nose!
09:29Ah-ha!
09:35Is this the Happy Flea Pet Shop?
09:37Do you sell dead animals?
09:39Frozen worms?
09:41Fabulous!
09:45I'm not a pet shop!
09:47I'm a pet shop!
09:49I'm a pet shop!
09:51I'm a pet shop!
09:53I'm a pet shop!
09:55I'm a pet shop!
09:58You say they're good for feeding carnivorous plants?
10:08I don't feel the bitterness!
10:11Come on! Commit, people!
10:14Now I feel the cut!
10:16Obviously, before I build you up, you must both be destroyed!
10:21Isn't that a little extreme?
10:23Put it on mute.
10:26Now close your eyes, please.
10:28To fine-tune your craft,
10:30you will journey back through the most painful experience of your childhood.
10:39Chicken! Chicken!
10:41My Fredzie Poopsie, I have a little surprise for you.
10:47The beautiful set of Mexican dishes!
10:51I don't want Mexican dishes!
10:59You see? They're unbreakable.
11:06Okay, I've been tortured enough for one day.
11:09I'll see you again at the same bedtime tomorrow,
11:13unless I get lucky and wake up dead!
11:17Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you.
11:21Huh?
11:22Huh?
11:23Did you say something?
11:24Yes, I said, huh.
11:26Oh.
11:27Huh?
11:28I said, oh.
11:29Oh.
11:35Mr. Dugan?
11:36Yes, what can I do for you, Daniel?
11:39It's Fred?
11:40Mm-hmm.
11:41Some people have been telling me that I seem blasé.
11:44I'd like to seem happy. Do you think that's possible?
11:49Oh, indeed.
11:51Your moroseness makes me shiver.
11:54Hey, if you were capable of looking happy,
11:59yours could be the perfect face to sell useless junk
12:02aimed at impressionable teens.
12:05Before.
12:06After.
12:08Before.
12:09After.
12:11You want to use me to sell moldy products to young people?
12:15I think not.
12:16Why, you could become the next big flavor of the moment.
12:20And don't forget,
12:22there will always be stupid teenagers out there
12:26who are willing to buy stupid products.
12:29Before.
12:30After.
12:31Before.
12:32After.
12:41Mm-hmm.
12:43Mm-hmm.
12:46Mm-hmm.
12:51You had to dance bitterness.
12:54Did he ask you to jump your happiness or ski your jealousy, too?
13:00Fred!
13:01Pussum buddy and partner in crime,
13:03I found a gift for my brother.
13:05Here's a picture of it.
13:07Ta-da!
13:08And it's spinach green, too.
13:09They're very rare.
13:12Hmm.
13:13So, what do you think of it, Fred?
13:15Intense.
13:16It even has electric windows, the pinnacle of uselessness.
13:19Actually, I have the very same one.
13:25That's fabulous, huh, Gigi?
13:29Yes, it's truly fantastic.
13:32Well, if it isn't our friend, Captain Splendid.
13:40What's wrong?
13:41Your face appears full of doubt.
13:43Gigi, if you're the only human being who can read my true emotions,
13:47then I'm very depressed.
13:50Captain Splendid wants me to make commercials
13:52selling moldy products to impressionable teenagers.
13:55I used to think he wanted to save the planet.
13:58What a letdown.
14:00But if he manages to adjust your attitude,
14:02that would be good, wouldn't it, Sunshine?
14:04Please, Gigi, I have enough of my mother calling me that, okay?
14:08Oh, too bad.
14:09I quite like using that term of endearment for you.
14:13Okay, I'm ready to begin my happy boy training,
14:16but I'm warning you, I don't want to use it to exploit anybody.
14:19You'll get over it.
14:22I've prepared an intensive workshop
14:25entitled Demonstrating Happiness While Unwrapping a Present.
14:30Hmm?
14:39Hmm?
14:45The more gifts you unwrap,
14:47the more the smile will become a conditioned reflex.
14:57The sound of the paper tearing must provoke an automatic smile,
15:02and that smile, young man, will bring you glory,
15:06fame and fortune!
15:12Fred, I've been meaning to tell you something.
15:16I love you.
15:17I've never loved anyone like this before.
15:20Let's intertwine our hearts and our bodies
15:22for a moment of abandoned passion.
15:31Yes, yes!
15:33Yes!
15:36Yes!
15:44Raymond Fisher, producer.
15:46This is my protégé, Daniel.
15:48Fred.
15:49Fred is so passé.
15:51Daniel is young.
15:53Dan the man!
15:54Delicious!
15:56Not sure.
15:57Mm-mm.
16:01Wow!
16:02You've got a sumptuous smile, Dan.
16:05Thank you.
16:11Mr Fisher, this isn't like the one on the poster.
16:14It's possible that the product differs slightly
16:16from the one advertised, but who cares?
16:18There's a disclaimer.
16:19Yeah, but the...
16:20Too little to read, but big enough not to be sued.
16:22I know what I'm doing!
16:23I came up with the concept for Greasy Burger.
16:26Have you ever seen the print ad for high cholesterol levels?
16:29No.
16:30Exactly!
16:31Delicious!
16:36Mmm.
16:44Your cell phone really stinks!
16:52Help!
16:53Help!
16:54Help!
17:06Hmm.
17:07Hmm.
17:13You just look at it and it breaks.
17:15So look elsewhere and sign here.
17:20Mmm.
17:23Delicious!
17:28This cell phone is mouldy.
17:30Listen, Dan, my take is 60% of your salary,
17:33so I'd rather you didn't challenge Mr Fisher's product.
17:36So what you're telling me is that if I mess up,
17:39my chances of ever working in commercials again are...
17:42Non-existent, my dear Daniel.
17:44Non-existent.
17:48Ciao, everyone.
17:50One second, Daniel.
17:52You can't do this.
17:53You signed a contract.
17:55Really? Maybe you should look again.
17:58Hmm.
18:01Dan the Man?!
18:06Hey, I was wondering,
18:08are you by any chance the guy who played Captain Splendid?!
18:12Hmm.
18:13Is something wrong, Georgie?
18:18No.
18:19No.
18:20No.
18:21Where am I going to find a present for Fred
18:24that's totally useless and with no obvious purpose?!
18:33Hey!
18:34There's a big rock blocking access to aisle two!
18:37Yes!
18:42Fred?
18:46Annette? What are you doing here?
18:48Waiting for you, Fred.
18:50I've been wanting to talk to you.
18:52I love you!
18:54I've never been so in love with anyone before!
18:58Annette.
18:59OK, cut!
19:00All right, princess, stop right there.
19:02It was way over the top, and you overpronounced your vowels.
19:05And frankly, I didn't believe you.
19:08I know it's difficult with such an uninspired acting partner.
19:15And you, Fred, how did you find it?
19:18Uh, I found it intense.
19:21All I want is to learn how to make a credible declaration of love.
19:25Sorry, Juliet, I'm just not buying it.
19:27Well, I'm not buying you!
19:30Well, good luck finding a boyfriend.
19:32And thanks to you, Daddy,
19:34Captain Splendid is now the official spokesperson
19:37for an ad campaign!
19:39You've relaunched my career!
19:41Before?
19:42After!
19:44Hey, Daniel!
19:46Who never falls apart?
19:49Why, it's Captain Splendid!
19:58I wish you a crushing success, George.
20:08Hello, all you teens!
20:10Do you remember me?
20:12I'm Captain Splendid!
20:15Do you want to save the world without falling apart?
20:18Just press the star key
20:20on your stylish new supernova cell phone!
20:24Delicious!
20:30Stop that. You're only hurting yourself.
20:33Fredzie, I found just the gift for you.
20:36Wow, super.
20:38Ta-da!
20:43Hmm.
20:46It's the new cell phone Captain Splendid advertises on TV!
20:50Woo-hoo!
20:51Hey, I think we hit pay dirt this time, Carol.
20:56Fred, my bosom buddy and lifelong pal!
20:59At this precise instant, we have known each other
21:01for three and three-quarter years!
21:03Woo-hoo!
21:04I found the gift of the century for you.
21:07Cute.
21:09A stone?
21:10Yes!
21:11It's ugly, not practical, can't play with it,
21:14and instead, it's perfectly useless!
21:17I don't want to be a killjoy,
21:19but my grandmother uses them as paperweights.
21:28Thanks, Gigi.
21:29This is the first time I've ever been happy
21:31to receive a useful gift.
21:33Hey, why don't you crush your cell phone?
21:36Don't need to.
21:41Sometimes a smile is just a frown upside down.
22:11Thanks for watching!
22:13Subscribe for more!