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00:00Yes, I am going to bet, no, no, tell the chief, I want, no, deserve a promotion.
00:09Today is the day.
00:10I thought yesterday was...
00:11Now look at my record.
00:12Negligible false arrest.
00:13Stupendous.
00:14Not one absence in 20 years.
00:16Stupendous.
00:17Excellent penmanship.
00:18Tuberturious.
00:19Change my socks most every day.
00:21Sagittarius.
00:22It is time the chief listens to...
00:24Pickle, you've been with us almost 10 years now.
00:27Oh, good morning, sir.
00:29It's Pickle, sir, and actually, you know, it's been 20 years, sir.
00:33Well, yes, but that would be contradicting me, wouldn't it?
00:37Oh, but never do that, sir.
00:38Not me.
00:39Why, I walk in the ground, you worship.
00:41You grovel with the best of them, and I respect that.
00:44That's why I'm going to give you this memo in honor of your perfect attendance.
00:51Congratulations.
00:53Memo.
00:54Yes, I see.
00:55My life hasn't been wasted.
00:56Thank you.
00:57But, yeah, yeah, I got to go.
00:58Got about 100 of these things to hand out.
01:02I deserve better than this because I am a good cop.
01:05Quite an honor.
01:06Won't put food on the table.
01:07But I say we hang it on the wall for all to admire it.
01:14Max Cootie, getting released from federal prison.
01:17What?
01:18Cootie?
01:19Prison?
01:20Max?
01:21Federal?
01:22Let me see that.
01:23Cootie, Cootie, Cootie, he's getting out.
01:24I'm not to the 18th.
01:25When is that?
01:26After yesterday.
01:27Or is it the day before tomorrow?
01:29It's neither.
01:30It's today.
01:31Cootie, your name's familiar.
01:33Didn't he make the cover of Crime Digest?
01:35Five times.
01:37And I'm the one who sent him up 20 years ago.
01:41In that tomb.
01:42Always the same tomb.
01:45Da-da-da.
01:48Da-da-da.
01:50Da-da-da.
01:57It's an old lacrosse injury.
02:00Axe up now and then.
02:02Tell me how you stopped Cootie.
02:03Did you give him your one-two-pick-tackle-chasey-punch?
02:07Well, that was a long time ago.
02:11Yes, flashback.
02:13Life is good.
02:16I was a young rookie.
02:18Out on foot patrol.
02:23Help! Help! Help!
02:26Hey, dude.
02:27Where are you going with those toons, man?
02:30Thought I'd tie a rock around them and throw them in the river.
02:34See if they float.
02:40You're not being very groovy, man.
02:42I think you should, like, let them go.
02:45You know what a toon did to me once.
02:48Cut me off from a parking place at that grocery store.
02:53Last one in the whole lot.
02:56Nothing's gone right for me since.
02:58So out of my way.
03:00I have some toons to hurt.
03:02Pal, you picked the wrong cop to cross.
03:12Remember, officer, I'll see you again someday.
03:37I'd call you a hero, but the word's not heroic enough.
03:41It's just too bad you won't get a chance to teach him another lesson, huh?
03:45I won't?
03:46Well, after what you did to him, you're the last person he'd want to see.
03:49Yeah, you're right.
03:52He has his freedom.
03:54Probably forgotten I exist, sure.
03:56I'm safe.
03:59Hello? It's Cootie.
04:06Get the door, would you?
04:11Nobody here.
04:12Oh, no, no, not that door. Some other door.
04:14Keep checking. Look, check all the doors.
04:16Right, boss.
04:17My boss. Oh, bosses.
04:21Hello, officer.
04:23No one here by that name or any other name.
04:27Hola, como estas? No hablo ingles.
04:32That's a toon. The time will be 5.22 and 30 seconds.
04:38You always were a kidder, officer.
04:42I can hardly contain my laughter.
04:45What can I do for you?
04:48I have something for you.
04:50Oh, that really isn't necessary. Really?
04:54No, I never forget a debt, and I waited a long time to repay this one.
05:09Why are you so tense?
05:12Tense? Who's tense? I'm not tense. I never felt less tense.
05:19That's him.
05:28Boy, look at the time, would you?
05:32Well, quitting time. Let's close some shop.
05:39Oopsie.
05:41Hello, officer.
05:44Remember me?
05:47Yeah, nice to see you.
05:52Is it me, or is the sun really cold today?
05:54Golly, you look good.
05:57Golly, you look good.
06:00You haven't changed a bit.
06:03No, I've changed a lot.
06:07I spent 20 years in a place where they expect you to change.
06:12Driving too fast, driving too slow, reckless endangerment of toons, hot-dugging it in a no-hot-dugging zone.
06:18I think we'll let him go with a warning.
06:20A warning?
06:22I'd like to warn you that if I ever try to pull you over, then just please ignore me.
06:27That speed limit? It's for other people.
06:30Red lights, people. Have a lovely day, Mr. Cootie. Bye.
06:34That's Cootie? You could take him as one-eyed, tie behind your back, blindfolded, dripping wet, and you're stuck in feet.
06:39You're not giving me any special favors because we go back so far?
06:44No.
06:46Just a public courtesy.
06:49Good. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other, officer.
06:58A lot of each other.
07:02Why are we laughing?
07:07I still have something for you. I'll give it to you when we're alone.
07:20Boss, I don't understand why you let him go.
07:24Understand? Why don't you understand? What's not to understand?
07:27Be quiet. Toons were meant to be seen, not heard.
07:32Better have the brakes checked.
07:36Oh, come on, Lucky. Get a grip. Cootie won't do anything rash.
07:40I wouldn't want to risk going back to prison.
07:43He just thinks he can scare you.
07:46Well, he doesn't know who he's dealing with.
07:49Did I scare you?
07:51Me? No, no. Of course not.
07:54I'm just doing my fetal exercises.
07:58Something's wrong, Lucky. You can't hide it, little mister.
08:02Now you tell Bonky what's the matter, and Bonky will make it all better.
08:06It's only that, you know, if Cootie does come back to get his revenge...
08:12Well, don't tell me. I know.
08:14You do?
08:15You're afraid of what you'll do to him.
08:18Well, that could be.
08:20You'll stand for him because you're capable of anything.
08:23A coiled animal ready to spring. A loaded gun.
08:25A one-man army. A mean, mean crime-fighting machine.
08:33No reason to panic, pal. It's just a phone.
08:37Officer, I think it's time we had our little chat.
08:42How's 3-15 sound?
08:45Sounds fine.
08:46Cootie's dropping by at 3-15.
08:51Ten. Raise your right hand.
08:53Those of you who have hands.
08:55I, state your name.
08:57I, state your name.
08:59Hereby swear to protect Lucky from himself.
09:02Hereby swear to protect Lucky from himself.
09:05I now pronounce you deputized.
09:13Oh, wee, man.
09:15Is it me or is the air-conditioning really hot in here?
09:18Sweatin', officer.
09:21I know what it's like to sweat for 20 solid years.
09:26You can't imagine what that's like.
09:29Actually, I have a pretty good idea.
09:31I don't think you do.
09:33Yeah, well, be that as it may.
09:36Of course, I want to make things right here.
09:39Unfortunately, I only make a placement salary, but here's my life savings.
09:43$47.13.
09:46A butterfly collection.
09:48Untouched.
09:50How generous of you to offer your worldly goods to an ex-con.
09:55It restores one's faith in mankind.
09:58Really?
09:59Oh, then you'll take it and kind of go away?
10:02No, I don't want your possessions.
10:05But I do have something for you.
10:07Something I'll give you later in private.
10:16Darling, are you staying home from work again?
10:20I heard there's a 75% chance of meteor showers.
10:22Well, now, yesterday it was sunspots, and the day before that it was killer bees.
10:28Yeah. Neighborhood's going downhill all right.
10:31Are you sure nothing's bothering you, Daddy?
10:34Bother me, bother me, bother me.
10:37Where'd you get an idea like that?
10:39I just want to be near my loving family that I hold so dear.
10:52Something is definitely bothering him.
10:55It's nothing. Just a fellow I put away. He's back.
10:58Planning to get revenge on me.
11:01But there's no need to worry. He has no idea where I live, so...
11:04All right, dear.
11:06Okay, Daddy. When's dinner, Mom?
11:09Just because he's a dangerous hardened criminal, I don't want you going off the deep end.
11:13I won't.
11:14Me either.
11:16And just because he's making terrible threats on my life, there's no need to get all worked up.
11:21If you say so.
11:23Oh, before I forget, do you remember how we talked about hiring a handyman?
11:28Well, I found one.
11:30Strangest thing, he wanted to know how tall you were and what size shoe you wear.
11:37A shoe? He's making a gasket.
11:45Is it me or is it drafty in here?
11:48I've lived 20 years in a joint mine.
11:55What's that?
11:57Wake up! Wake up! You're having a nightmare!
12:00I don't remember having one.
12:03Oh, that's the worst kind.
12:09Oh, that's the worst kind.
12:12Oh, that's the worst kind.
12:16Oh, that's the worst kind.
12:19You know, I can't sleep either.
12:21I think I'll go get a glass of coffee. I don't need milk.
12:24Now remember, we have to keep a close watch for anything suspiciously suspicious.
12:30No one will get past us. I have eyes in the back of my head, you see.
12:46Look! It's Cootie! How did he get past us?
12:50Dad!
12:54Come on, guys! Listen to me!
13:06That's it. I can't take it anymore.
13:09If Cootie doesn't get me, you and your doomed friends will.
13:12Put me to help!
13:14What? To help destroy my life? I can do that myself, thanks.
13:23Gosh, I could have sworn I told you.
13:25Must have slipped my mind when I wasn't thinking.
13:27Yeah, I won us a trip to Zanzibar.
13:29Guess how many jelly beans were in that jar.
13:32Dear, these tickets are one way.
13:35Honey, get packed. The plane leaves in an hour.
13:43Whoa!
13:47Where are you going, boss?
13:49Someplace far. Very, very far away.
13:51Someplace Max Cootie isn't.
13:53You're not running away, are you?
13:56Tell me you're not running away!
13:58I'm not! And if I don't hurry, I'll miss the plane.
14:01But why? You stopped Cootie once.
14:05Some of what I told you before wasn't exactly true.
14:08Which part wasn't true?
14:10The part beginning with,
14:12this is what happened, all the way to the end.
14:15No!
14:17Yes.
14:18No!
14:19Yes!
14:21Yes.
14:23Look, what really happened was...
14:40Whistle.
14:57What are you doing to my car?
15:00Please don't hit me.
15:11Good work, Pickle. Saw the whole thing.
15:17Pure dumb luck.
15:20But you did it.
15:22It's Pickle, sir.
15:24Whatever.
15:26I was just in the wrong place at the right time.
15:29I'm no hero bonkers.
15:31I'm not even fit to walk in my own shoes.
15:35Well, now, I think you are doing the only sensible thing by skipping town.
15:39By the time we get back, all of this will have blown over.
15:43Daddy, don't feel bad. If I were you, I'd run away, too.
15:46Now everybody knows.
15:49I'm nothing but a big, fat, no-good, thumb-sucking, whimpering, sniveling coward.
15:56True. But you are a big, fat, no-good, thumb-sucking, whimpering, sniveling coward.
16:02But don't worry. I have a plan.
16:05I don't like it already.
16:07Was that a trap?
16:08What kind of trap?
16:10You go on a trip.
16:12We'll let Cootie follow you.
16:14And then, when he makes his move, turn back.
16:22So, what do you think?
16:24Lucky.
16:25Lucky, we're trying to help you. You can take a snooze later.
16:28I can't put my family in that kind of position.
16:31I can't put my family in that kind of danger.
16:33Not to mention myself.
16:35You won't.
16:36Me and Fallapart will dress up like Delandra and Marilyn and go in their place.
16:40We'll flush Cootie out.
16:41That's stupid. It's dangerous.
16:44And it has absolutely no chance of working.
16:46Other than that...
16:47So you'll do it?
16:48Yep.
16:52Oh, Banana Lips, what a lovely vacation spot, huh?
16:58The three of us all alone with no one to help us for miles.
17:03How come I have to carry the suitcases?
17:05Lucky, we have to make this look convincing.
17:08Cootie may be watching.
17:10All right.
17:11Daddy.
17:12I want some candy.
17:15Yeah, she's daddy's little girl, all right.
17:18She has your appetite and my nose.
17:21Good.
17:22Oops, sorry.
17:23You can have it back.
17:24Marilyn, the things you say.
17:27Yeah, the things I say.
17:28All right.
17:30So, where's that candy already?
17:47What's that?
17:48Hello?
17:50Who's there?
17:58Whee! Whee!
18:00Whee! Whee!
18:02Whee! Whee!
18:04Whee! Whee!
18:06Whee! Whee!
18:08Whee! Whee!
18:17Taking a dip, sweet pea?
18:19I bet you finally found a way to relax.
18:23I'm going to pick up a pizza while you're swimming.
18:27Come along, my darling daughter.
18:30Okay.
18:31Mommy dear.
18:32Bonkers, this whole trip was a dumb idea.
18:35Cootie's probably a thousand miles away.
18:48Officer.
18:54What a surprise.
18:57You don't look happy to see me.
19:00I'm happy.
19:01See?
19:02You don't think I forgot what happened 20 years ago, do you?
19:06No.
19:07I never welch on a debt.
19:10You can start now.
19:12I didn't come all this way for nothing.
19:16So, I guess this is it.
19:20I guess so.
19:23All right.
19:24No more running.
19:26I know you're bigger than me.
19:28Stronger and tougher.
19:30But I'm not afraid.
19:32Just go ahead and get it over with.
19:36Thank you, friend.
19:38Thank you for helping me turn my life around.
19:41What? Am I dead?
19:43When I was in prison, I did a lot of reading.
19:45Earned a PhD in psychiatry.
19:47Decided to help people with grudges against toons.
19:50Thanks to you, I'm a millionaire several times over.
19:54I just had to tell you in person.
19:57Here.
19:58I brought you this token of my appreciation.
20:00It's a suit.
20:01It's not a casket.
20:02It's a suit.
20:03I love you, man.
20:09We're not too late.
20:10Let's get him.
20:21No.
20:22Wait.
20:23Get here. Come here.
20:24Oh, thank God.
20:26Twenty years later, he saves my life again.
20:32Once more, the old fearless Lucky Piquel is back.
20:38Afraid of nothing.
20:39A mean, lean law enforcement machine.
20:43Yes, sir.
20:44Today's the day I demand that promotion.
20:47Because I am one good cop.
20:51Remember a guy you locked up ten years ago?
20:53Manny the Maymare?
20:55He got out yesterday.
21:17Thanks.