The patient s daughter had a crush on Dr House...

Transcript

00:00You owe me a $400 handbag.

00:02It's kind of hard to check your throat when you're flapping your guns around.

00:05But it's for the fall formal.

00:07He doesn't care if it's for the presidential inauguration.

00:09But I'm using Marissa's old dress. It's free.

00:12You know what else is free?

00:13Roof over your head, the food you eat, your phone, your computer.

00:16How long have you been congested?

00:17All week, ever since we got back from Fresno.

00:20Fresno? It's in France, right?

00:21You see the Parthenon?

00:22California.

00:24I've got no appetite, I'm aching all over, I'm weak.

00:26Does that hurt?

00:27Yeah.

00:28Does his voice always have that unattractive nasal tone?

00:31Totally.

00:32I'm going to take that giggle as a no.

00:34Fever, aches, weakness, loss of appetite.

00:36Been having any anal sex with IV drug users lately?

00:39Of course not, I'm married.

00:41You think she might have been in heaven?

00:42No!

00:43It's probably a rhinovirus.

00:44What's that?

00:45Cold.

00:45Take this four times a day, stay off airplanes, flying cesspools.

00:50Oops, I dropped something.

00:52If there's anything else you can think of, please call.