Celebrity Gogglebox UK S06E05 (2024)
This time, the celebs watched: Love Island, Shania Twain at Glastonbury, The Nevermets, The Yorkshire Vet, This Morning (Cuddle Therapy) and ITV News (Biden v Trump).
Transcript
00:00I've been at Gloucester all week, and I really feel like I can't even look you in the eye straight today. I'm not excited.
00:07Why am I wearing glasses then?
00:09Well, I don't know.
00:10Just because you've got some on.
00:12Well, you're just wearing glasses because I'm wearing glasses.
00:14Yeah, I'm copying.
00:15You just didn't want to be left out.
00:16No, no. Take them off. There we go.
00:21Oh, mate.
00:23That's why I keep shouting out, where are the men?
00:25No, no.
00:26He's a one-man planet destroyer. Bosh.
00:30Look, look, look.
00:31No, I'm not watching.
00:32Oh, he's collapsed.
00:36Ew.
00:37You just wouldn't bother cleaning your clothes, would you?
00:39If you see what you see, if you see it, say it.
00:41Oh.
00:42What?
00:43This is so a bit of us.
00:44I say there's some bosoms there.
00:46Not half.
00:47Would you say you've shouted the telly?
00:48Only when I'm watching West End.
00:50In the week Kier got the keys to number 10, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:57The body beautiful were back on parade in their med.
01:01We're back at the fire pit.
01:03OK.
01:07I'm too old for the bikini up the bum thing.
01:09Yeah.
01:10I want a big old granny pant, like it's almost down the thigh.
01:14That's my panty line going on.
01:16Yeah.
01:17Up the crack. I just, I don't understand it.
01:19But if I looked like her, then I'd just have a bit of dental floss.
01:22Well, I probably would if I had that bum.
01:25One's like an old pancake.
01:28The world held its breath as two elder statesmen took to the stage on ITV News.
01:33The total initiative relative to what we're going to do
01:36with more border patrol and more asylum officers.
01:40President Trump?
01:41I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence.
01:44I don't think he knows what he said either.
01:45Ten years from now, when you're trying to climb up the ladder to get on the stage,
01:51they say, come away, dear.
01:52Come away, dear.
01:53No, come on, darling, a nice cup of tea.
01:56Hot, hot chocolate. Would you like a little hot chocolate, Lulu?
01:59Yeah.
02:00Oh, that will get me off the stage.
02:02And a country superstar strutted her stuff in a field on the BBC.
02:14Look at that, the atmosphere.
02:17You want to be right in the heart of that.
02:18No, I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
02:21really, really don't.
02:22People singing, having a great time, sun shining.
02:25Can't get to the toilet, been ripped off for vegan pasty,
02:28if you could possibly find one, caught COVID,
02:30been sleeping in a tent full of mud, listening to the people next door
02:34keep you up all night because they're pissed.
02:36And then you get to that place and you can't see anything
02:39because some person has got a great flag in front of your face
02:43and the sound quality's...
02:45So what's the point?
02:52In Manchester...
02:54Did you get any sleep at Glasnoby?
02:56Er, I did. I got in there on the shoes there.
03:02And I did sleep.
03:03You look double healthy, mate, you know what I mean?
03:05You're a 60-year-old bloke who's just been to Glasdenbury.
03:08Sean and Bess.
03:10You know what it is?
03:11What is it?
03:12It's because they haven't stopped. Anyone who stops...
03:15Stops.
03:16They're finished.
03:17Finished, yeah.
03:18Yeah, yeah.
03:19You mean you've just got to carry on?
03:21Carry on, cos your body goes into shock.
03:23What, when you stop?
03:25Yeah, cos everyone I know who's stopped...
03:27Stops are dead.
03:29..gets really ill after they've stopped and they die.
03:33So it's not worth it.
03:35So just don't stop.
03:37Just don't stop. That is my motto, anyway.
03:40On Friday, we were guessing what words went where on ITV1.
03:45Keep those away from me.
03:47They're looking good, actually.
03:48Are they? Yeah.
03:49They look like the raw testicles of the devil, as far as I'm concerned.
03:52Ooh, look at us.
03:54Watching telly in the afternoon.
03:56I feel for the gays that it presents it because...
03:58Oh, I like it.
03:59..I think it's a shit time slot.
04:04I love lingo.
04:06It is literally... I need to go on lingo.
04:09I'm so good at it.
04:10I'd be worried about you.
04:12What?
04:13Oh, yeah, wordpussles.
04:15Here's how the game works.
04:17Our contestants will be shown the first letter of a word.
04:20All they have to do is guess that word.
04:22Oh, is it a bit like that New York game that went really popular?
04:26Wordle? Yeah. Yeah, is that Wordle?
04:28Great for dyslexics, isn't it? Really good for dyslexics, yeah.
04:31Brilliant. Excellent.
04:32Do you think you'll both be good at this? Yeah.
04:34Sean and Karl, welcome to lingo. How are you doing?
04:36Very good. Good, thanks.
04:37How are you?
04:38Good.
04:39How are you?
04:40Good.
04:41Sean and Karl, welcome to lingo. How are you doing?
04:43Very good. Good, thanks.
04:44OK, in this round, we're looking for four-letter lingos.
04:46Just a four-letter word.
04:47You and me with four-letter words.
04:49Oh! I'm in tears this year.
04:51Oh, I'm going to have to do all this.
04:53Here comes your first four-letter lingo.
04:55It begins with the letter C.
04:57Oh, no.
04:58Don't even think it, Jane.
05:00Oh, I've got it already.
05:04And your time starts now.
05:06Cam?
05:08No.
05:09C-R-A-M-A?
05:10Cold.
05:11Cool.
05:12Cock.
05:13Care. C-A-R-E.
05:14Oh, you just say a word?
05:15Yeah, you just say a word and it goes in.
05:17Care.
05:18So he's got C-A-R-E right.
05:21Cape. I'm going to go for cape.
05:23Cape?
05:24Well, you just need to replace the third one, don't you?
05:26I can't... You know what? I can't get me mind to engage after Glasgow.
05:29Yeah.
05:30Not Glasgow, I mean Glas...
05:32Glasgow!
05:34Well done.
05:35Cave. C-A-V-E.
05:36Cave.
05:37Cake. Cake. Cake.
05:38Cake.
05:39C-A-K-E.
05:41Cake it is, cake.
05:42C-A-K-E.
05:43You've got this already.
05:44Cake.
05:45Dot cave.
05:46Er...
05:47Cake!
05:48Fucking hell!
05:49Cage. C-A-G-E.
05:51Cage. Cage would be quite a good one.
05:53Cage. Could be cage.
05:54Cake, as in cake, as in Victoria sponge cake.
05:57Come on, let it out the cage.
05:59Oh, one more.
06:00Oh, no.
06:01There can't be any more.
06:02Er...
06:04Case.
06:05Cafe. C-A-F-E.
06:06Cake! Cake is cake!
06:09Case. C-A-S-E.
06:11Could be case. Could be a case, yeah.
06:13Kale!
06:14No, that's K.
06:15Is it? Yeah.
06:16Is it an open and shut case?
06:18Oh, you're kidding me!
06:20What?!
06:21Oh!
06:22Go on, what was it?
06:23Go on.
06:24Oh, you watch this be cake now.
06:25Yeah, and it is. I bet it is.
06:28Oh, I told you it was cake!
06:30It is cake.
06:31Oh, cake!
06:32Of course it was a fucking cake.
06:34Why didn't we think cake?
06:35No, that was from the top one, I said that, didn't I?
06:38You're good at this.
06:39Here comes your second four-letter lingo,
06:41and it begins with the letter...
06:44S-C-A-R-E.
06:45Oh, this one begins with S-C-A-R-E.
06:49Shit.
06:50Go on, get it out your system.
06:51Shop.
06:52Sear.
06:53S-E-A-R.
06:54Sear?
06:55Who picks sear as a first word?
06:58It's not sear.
06:59Silk.
07:00Silk.
07:01Silk.
07:02Silk.
07:03S-U-I-T.
07:04Silo.
07:05S-I-L-O.
07:06Silo?
07:07Why go silo?
07:08It's an odd word.
07:09Silo.
07:11Stir. S-T-I-R.
07:13Smut.
07:14Smut.
07:15Slip.
07:16No, cos there's no I.
07:17Oh, shit, no.
07:18It's not sunk.
07:19Found a U, though, not in the right place.
07:20S-A-P-E.
07:21Yes, I could be right with smut.
07:22S-A-P-E.
07:23Stub.
07:24Oh, stub.
07:25Stub.
07:26Good, you've got a T now.
07:27That's not in the right place.
07:28The U now is.
07:29Slup.
07:30Slup.
07:31Slug.
07:32Slug.
07:33Slug.
07:34S...
07:35Oh, slut.
07:36That's not going to be on daytime telly, is it?
07:38Shut.
07:39Yeah.
07:40It's shut.
07:41Yeah, it's shut.
07:43Shut.
07:44S-H-U-T.
07:45Shut.
07:46Yeah.
07:47Yay!
07:48Done it.
07:49Shut.
07:50Shut.
07:51Yes!
07:52Fucking hell.
07:53Of course it is.
07:54I fucking hate this game.
07:55Such a good game, I love it.
07:56No value in it.
07:57Your six-letter lingo.
07:58This is going to be tough now, six letters.
08:00We're screwed.
08:01Yeah.
08:02Begins with the letter E.
08:05And your time starts now.
08:07Either.
08:08Earth.
08:09Enters.
08:10Oh, my God.
08:11Entail.
08:12E-N-T-A-I-L.
08:14Good word.
08:15Entail.
08:17Not entail, you've got a T.
08:19Eternal?
08:20No, that's seven.
08:21Damn it!
08:23Attract.
08:24No, attract begins with A.
08:26I know.
08:29Exited.
08:30E-X-I-T-E-D.
08:32Exited, that's good.
08:33Exited.
08:35It's not exited.
08:36There's an X in there.
08:37Exciting.
08:38Excite.
08:39Exempt.
08:40It's exempt.
08:41E...
08:42It's exempt.
08:45Oh, come on.
08:46Oh!
08:47Exit.
08:48Accept.
08:49Accept.
08:50Accept.
08:51No.
08:52Yeah!
08:53Accept!
08:54You've got one, I think, Donna.
08:55Ah!
08:58Pass.
08:59Don't pass it!
09:00Come on!
09:03Accept!
09:04Pass.
09:05Pass.
09:06Accept.
09:07Oh, no.
09:08Well, they've got to start a new one.
09:10Why would you pass?
09:12C.
09:13Oh, they've got to go again now.
09:1514 seconds, come on, guys.
09:16I can't cope.
09:17Crams.
09:18Covers.
09:19C-O-V-E-R-S.
09:20Covers.
09:23They've fucked it.
09:24They'll never do it.
09:25They've only got five seconds, four seconds.
09:27Crisps.
09:28C-R-I-S-P-S.
09:29Three, two, one.
09:31You're out, lad.
09:32You're out.
09:33Oh!
09:34Oh!
09:35It's the pressure.
09:36They should have stuck with it.
09:38Why did they start again?
09:39OK, let's see what it was.
09:41Yeah, what was it?
09:42What is it?
09:43Circus.
09:44Circus.
09:45Oh, that's an easy one, isn't it, if you think about it?
09:47Yeah.
09:48You did well there.
09:49Thank you, Chris.
09:50You did really well.
09:51I mean, the thing is, you're always going to do well at these stuff.
09:53Yeah, I'm very good, aren't I?
09:54You're very clever.
09:55I am.
09:58In Essex...
09:59Your vodka pasta is unbelievable.
10:02Yeah, you like the vodka pasta, didn't you?
10:04You are a good cook.
10:05You've got to cook with love, that's the key.
10:07No, I agree with you.
10:08Danny and her dad, Danny.
10:10Because if you don't, and, you know, there's sometimes
10:13your mother's, you know, smashed the dinner down in front of me
10:16and it looks appetising, but I can tell it's not been cooked with love.
10:19Yeah, you know, it's like a cup of tea, isn't it?
10:21Yeah.
10:22When you make someone a cup of tea, you know if that person
10:25wanted to make you that or not.
10:27You don't want a mouthful of mesh when it's been cooked with hate.
10:30Yeah.
10:31On Sunday, the BBC took us to Worthy Farm for more fun in the field.
10:36The last time I went to Glastonbury, I stayed in a hotel.
10:39I know you did.
10:40What do you call it, Glastonbury adjacent?
10:42Glastonbury adjacent, much more comfortable.
10:46In the old days, it was about, you know, indie bands, punk stuff.
10:51There's a lot of indie bands.
10:53Maverick music, now it's just pop.
10:55It's a mixture.
10:56It was the classic legend slot that had us all singing along.
11:00I want to get just a little personal for a second.
11:03Ooh, Shania Twain!
11:05Doesn't she look fab?
11:08Is that Shania Twain? Stop!
11:10I would love to be on stage with her and me wearing the same
11:13outfit and cowboy boots.
11:15Here we go.
11:19Yes, I love this song! Yeah.
11:21Let's go, girls. Let's go, Glastonbury.
11:23Oh, let's go Glastonbury, fine.
11:25You know it? No.
11:26Yeah, you do. I don't.
11:27Yeah, you do. I really don't.
11:29You do.
11:32Ha-ha!
11:35Oh, go on, Shania.
11:37I just can't believe the crowd.
11:38You're on it, B. You know it.
11:40I'm waiting for it to get started.
11:44I'm going out tonight
11:46I'm feeling all right
11:48Gonna let it all hang out
11:51I'm gonna make some noise
11:53Pretty reasonable
11:55Yeah, I'm gonna scream and shout
11:58Oh, yeah.
11:59Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun
12:02I'm gonna be ambitious
12:05Make no conditions
12:07I bet the sales of cowboy hats
12:10have skyrocketed in the Somerset area.
12:12Why, though? Is she a country singer?
12:15Shania Twain?
12:16Didn't I see you in a cowboy hat recently?
12:18No.
12:19I saw you in a cowboy hat somewhere.
12:22It wasn't.
12:23What hat was it? It looked like a cowboy hat.
12:25I don't know. It weren't a cowboy hat, though.
12:27I ain't got a cowboy hat.
12:29The best thing about being a woman
12:33Is that I get to have a little fun
12:37On my own
12:39I'm gonna scream and shout
12:41Oh, yeah
12:43Oh, she's gone down an octave.
12:45A voice doesn't sound too good, does it?
12:47She lost her voice a couple of years back.
12:49Did she?
12:50After surgery, yeah.
12:51I read an article where they said she had Lyme disease
12:53For the last 20 years and it's affected her health
12:56And it's affected her voice so she doesn't sing as high as she used to.
12:59Well, good for her for getting up there.
13:01She's still doing it.
13:02Absolutely.
13:03I hope I don't like that at 58.
13:04I'm gonna scream and shout
13:06Oh, yeah
13:09What do you sing?
13:11Men.
13:12I feel like a woman
13:14I feel like a man
13:16No!
13:17Oh, a man.
13:18I feel like a woman.
13:20Oh!
13:28Oh, he's going for it.
13:29Oh, that's a nice guitar, that, you know.
13:31That's a good guitar bit, that.
13:34I feel like a woman
13:37Oh, give her a clap, mate. Come on.
13:40No, it was good. I can't be asked to clap enough.
13:43She's great.
13:44She was great.
13:45Imagine performing at Glastonbury.
13:47You'll never know, will you?
13:50But you make me all feel happy, I don't.
13:53Unless you're doing a duet with someone.
13:56Well, it's nice to see you've got faith in me.
14:05In Chelmsford...
14:07I've got to stop eating these.
14:08You don't like them?
14:09I don't like them. No, I don't like them.
14:11I just can't stop.
14:12They've got something, like, addictive in them.
14:14..friends Denise and Johnny.
14:16If I go for those again, stop me.
14:18How am I meant to stop you?
14:20I don't know. Use your body.
14:22Why don't you just not eat them?
14:24Because they've got something, obviously,
14:26some chemical or something in them that's got me in its grip.
14:30But if you see me go for those again,
14:32I want you to literally dive across, like, in the bodyguard.
14:36LAUGHTER
14:37Seriously!
14:38What, like Kevin Costner?
14:39Yes, I just want to see the hair, blonde hair through the ear.
14:42No, but do stop me, because I'm going to eat the lot,
14:44like I did with the popcorn.
14:46In West London...
14:48I've got this quiz that I've been enjoying doing.
14:51Yes.
14:52And I think this is going to establish
14:54your mental and emotional health.
14:56Do you experience irritability, mood swings and or unstable emotions?
15:01Not as much as I used to.
15:03Are you easily offended?
15:04Not any more.
15:05Giles and his good friend Lulu.
15:08Have you ever used drugs or alcohol,
15:11sex, shopping, TV, gambling, gaming or time on the internet
15:15to self-medicate?
15:16Yes.
15:17Oh.
15:18Do you feel you lack purpose?
15:21Absolutely not!
15:23I am very purposeful, very.
15:25Do you find it difficult to feel gratitude and joy?
15:28Oh, no, I feel gratitude and joy 99% of the time.
15:33You'll be pleased to know, Lulu,
15:35that you are a wonderfully well-balanced person
15:37who no longer needs this book.
15:40Isn't that marvellous?
15:42This week, ITV scantily clad love seekers
15:45were at it again in the villa.
15:47To Love Island!
15:48To Love Island!
15:49Come on, it's your favourite show.
15:52Oh, yeah.
15:53I look forward to 9pm.
15:55All it needed was Joey Essex being a chaotic, messy bitch.
15:59Previously on Love Island...
16:02Joey's head's been completely turned, by the way.
16:05It's with Grace, but now Jess is coming.
16:07Cold as ice...
16:08Me and you might be trouble, man.
16:10Joey and Jessy.
16:11She's the new bombshell.
16:13She's the bombshell.
16:14You're telling me I can't speak to her?
16:16I'm so disappointed in you, Joey.
16:17This is Grace.
16:18Let me see if I've got this right.
16:20He was with a girl, she left when Grace turned up.
16:22He was with Grace, he said he'd be with Grace,
16:24then Jess turned up, he dropped Grace and he's now with Jess.
16:27And she's annoyed with him for being with Jess.
16:29Yes.
16:30Got you.
16:34Oh!
16:35Do you know what I love?
16:36Go on.
16:37Other people's drama.
16:38Yeah.
16:39I love it.
16:40I wish I'd have done a bit more of flirting and, you know,
16:44putting it about a bit.
16:46Really?
16:47Wow.
16:48I heard you had, but anyway...
16:51In the programme,
16:52Joey was firmly sticking to the Love Island script.
16:55Jessy, do you want to go for a chat?
16:57Joey's pulling Jessy for a chat.
16:59Yee!
17:00Shower?
17:01A chat.
17:02Oh, I thought you said you wanted to go for a shower.
17:04You need to get your hearing aid fixed.
17:06Would you?
17:07Right, go and get some sleep.
17:08Yeah.
17:10Grace does not look happy, does she?
17:12Oh!
17:13With me and Grace, like, we actually get on,
17:16there's real feelings there, all that,
17:19but it'd be silly just to close things off.
17:21He's just said to her, you know,
17:23me and her were quite close and there is feelings, but...
17:26He's subtly telling her he's available.
17:28I know, it might look like we're an item, but...
17:31Would you like to go on another date?
17:33HE GASPS
17:34He's asking her out?
17:35Naughty.
17:36Yeah, why not? Would you?
17:37Yeah, of course.
17:38I think he's a serial, um...
17:42Love bomber.
17:44Yeah, it's been going well so far, so...
17:47Like, I do, I honestly do, like, I can't deny it.
17:49I'm grabbing my heart, it's true feelings.
17:51It's true feelings.
17:52You've had feelings for three women in the space of, like, a week.
17:55How long's it been now?
17:57A day.
18:00You all right?
18:01Yeah, you?
18:02Oh, no, it's Grace's turn.
18:03What's he going to say to Grace?
18:05HE SIGHS
18:06What flannel is he going to give her?
18:08I feel like we haven't really been able to talk.
18:10Well, they've been busy, they've been tanning,
18:12walking around, tanning.
18:15You know how I feel about you.
18:16How does he feel about her?
18:18Well, he likes her, but he likes the other one as well.
18:20Like, I told you, like, nothing's actually changed.
18:22What?!
18:23Doesn't look like it.
18:24No.
18:25Oh, wow.
18:26He's lying.
18:27He's just told the other girl he wants to go on another date.
18:29I said to you and looked at you in the eyes and said,
18:31whoever walks through this door, I'm not interested in getting to know,
18:34and you said the same thing.
18:35Joey, he had to pick someone.
18:37She's been on dates with other people, but she's shut it down straight away.
18:40But Joey's obviously gone on a date with this Jess girl.
18:42And?
18:43Promised her the earth.
18:44Because I did get on with her,
18:45but I don't know whether it's a romance or a friendship.
18:47Because I felt like I had to get to know her.
18:49You don't have to do anything.
18:51Oh, it's getting heated.
18:52It is getting heated.
18:53She's right.
18:54I know.
18:55You don't have to do anything.
18:56It's then we've formed a friendship.
18:57No, you fancy her.
18:58Yeah, exactly.
18:59It is what it is.
19:00Oh, I hate when people say that.
19:01Oh, I hate that line.
19:02But for what reason, if you know that the romantic is there with me
19:05and you're going to end up coming back to me?
19:06I don't get it.
19:07What is this reason?
19:08Because it's like...
19:09Exactly.
19:10You don't want to sit there and watch him
19:11cracking on with another bird, do you?
19:13It is what it is.
19:14He cannot explain...
19:15No.
19:16..to her, in any uncertain terms,
19:18that he really does like her,
19:20but he does want to fuck the other girl.
19:22He does.
19:23He does want both.
19:24Is there any chance I could just come and do that
19:26and I'll come back to you?
19:27Well, we'll have to see who else comes in,
19:29because I'm definitely open to getting to know other people now.
19:31Oh!
19:32Yes!
19:33So you should.
19:34Come on, Grace.
19:35You go, girl.
19:36Never run after a man or a bus,
19:38because there's always one behind him.
19:39That's true.
19:43Oh!
19:44Oh!
19:45Oh!
19:46Oh!
19:47Oh!
19:48Oh, no, you don't let him kiss you.
19:50Can you put some more cyanide in my drink, please?
19:53Yeah.
19:54Who said that we can kiss?
19:55Us.
19:56Oh, he's giving her that look!
19:58Oh, gosh.
19:59No, Grace, no, stand your ground, stand your ground.
20:02You were doing so well.
20:04HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
20:05Look like they're getting along again.
20:07Yeah, it looks like it.
20:09Ah!
20:10And then you have to think about her feelings.
20:12Oh, she sold a kiss and she don't like that.
20:14Oh, God.
20:18Oh!
20:19I didn't get that.
20:20I thought she was bidding him off and now she's giving him a smooch.
20:23He bottled it, basically. Yeah.
20:25What he did there, he bottled it.
20:27He realised she wasn't very happy about it,
20:29then he went back to it. Yeah, yeah.
20:31Do you know what I mean?
20:32Later on, a familiar sound interrupted the party.
20:36Did you just get a text?
20:37Oh, hang on.
20:38Oh, no.
20:39Can all islanders line up in your couples?
20:42Trey and Jessie stand together on the stage.
20:44Oh!
20:46So it's time now for Jessie to see who she wants to couple up with.
20:49This is going to be interesting.
20:51I have decided to steal this boy.
20:53Oh, no.
20:54She's going to pick Joey Essex, isn't she?
20:56It's been a lot more difficult than I expected it to be.
20:58Do you think there's a world where she wouldn't pick Joey?
21:01And she would just, like, be kind to Grace?
21:03No.
21:04So the boy I have decided to steal is...
21:07Joey.
21:09Joey.
21:10Yes!
21:11Oh!
21:12You it!
21:13Yay!
21:14Oh, dear.
21:15She's fallen right into his trap.
21:18Me?
21:19Me?
21:20What? Is there another Joey?
21:22Is there another Joey?
21:23What, me?
21:26You see that tragic look on his face?
21:28And, oh, no!
21:30SHE LAUGHS
21:31She's picked me!
21:32Yeah.
21:33SHE LAUGHS
21:34Come on, baby.
21:36SHE LAUGHS
21:39Look at Grace's face.
21:40Oh, poor Grace.
21:41It's like every girl's worst nightmare.
21:43Oh, my God.
21:44This is drama I don't need.
21:45I know, I'm stressed.
21:46I've got enough stress.
21:47Let's go.
21:48Let's go to the terrace.
21:50It's private up there.
21:51The terrace?
21:52Yeah.
21:53Oh!
21:54Oh, no!
21:55Joey!
21:56Go up there!
21:57Terrace is Snogsville.
21:59Snogsville!
22:00Look there.
22:02You're fucking joking me.
22:04She can hear them.
22:06She can hear them.
22:07They're trying to piss me off.
22:08I'm not.
22:09Are they up there?
22:10They're up there, love.
22:11She's already told you.
22:12They're definitely up there.
22:13Let's go to bed.
22:14Now.
22:15Army assemble.
22:16We're kicking off now.
22:18Come on.
22:21Here come Atomic Kitten.
22:23THEY LAUGH
22:27That was a good one.
22:29Oh, you've got to be shitting me.
22:31This is schoolyard play.
22:33This is so good!
22:34Oh, my God.
22:35I can't believe that they've gone over there.
22:37I love this shit.
22:38I've been married for ten years.
22:39I miss this shit.
22:40This is fantastic.
22:41Let's go over here.
22:42You're going to lose your smooth face.
22:44That's even more beige.
22:45They're hiding.
22:46Oh, that's sexy.
22:47Just sort of crouching.
22:48Yeah.
22:49It's a good date, innit, babe?
22:51I just think, like, why go and segregate yourself up there?
22:53Like, what's the fucking need?
22:54Cos he wants to tango, darling.
22:56Use your fucking brain.
22:57Yeah.
22:58He done the same with you.
22:59Doing it again.
23:00Honest, I won't be watching this shit again,
23:02I'll tell you that now.
23:03I do want to explore.
23:04Like, whatever this is between me and you,
23:06I'm not sure what it is.
23:07Oh, I do want to explore.
23:08But there's definitely something there,
23:10so, yeah, I'm happy.
23:11Oh, my God, he's got his arm round her now.
23:15Oh!
23:16Oh!
23:17He's snogging her!
23:18Dotty!
23:22Oh, no, oh, no.
23:24Oh!
23:25He's really in there.
23:26He's really in there.
23:29Joey loves snogging.
23:30Joey loves snogging.
23:31Loves snogging.
23:34I can't deal with that.
23:36Grace has just sat there.
23:38Why are you laughing?
23:39Cos it's just...
23:40It's just ridiculous, isn't it?
23:42It is ridiculous.
23:43But do you know what, Chris?
23:45That happens in the world.
23:47The drama.
23:48It's outrageous.
23:49So much drama.
23:50It does remind you of being a teenager, doesn't it?
23:52It's so fun.
23:53I was never like that.
23:54I was never, ever...
23:55I worked in the takeaway.
23:58I was too busy packing egg fried rice and prawn crackers.
24:00Oh, my God.
24:01I was too busy packing egg fried rice and prawn crackers.
24:03I never went through any of this bollocks.
24:14In the new forest...
24:16I'm going to show you.
24:17British strawberries.
24:19They were grown in Kent.
24:20Yeah, right.
24:21Chris and his stepdaughter, Megan.
24:23Are those British strawberries?
24:25Yep.
24:26What, you've got some sort of fervent, nationalistic
24:29strawberry thing, are you?
24:30Only eating reformed strawberries, are you?
24:32Is that what it is?
24:34Don't want them strawberries from Spain coming over here,
24:37ruining our strawberries.
24:42Them immigrant strawberries coming over here.
24:46Give me a break.
24:47They didn't come from the UK.
24:49They came from somewhere where they sucked every last bit of
24:52water out of the land and they pumped it into those...
24:55They are from the UK.
24:56..tasteless capsules of stickiness.
24:58This week, the story continued for the globetrotting lovebirds
25:02on Channel 4.
25:03Old folk, it's time for me to set my antipsychotics.
25:06It's not for me, The Nevermets.
25:07I think it's ridiculous, though, isn't it?
25:09Yeah, I'm not into that sort of shit. Not me.
25:11I'm not into long-distance relationships.
25:16The Nevermets.
25:17Love is nice, though.
25:19Is it?
25:20Yeah, it's nice to find love.
25:22Love is nice, but what's desperation?
25:24Yeah.
25:25It's been 13 hours since long-distance couple Leah and Chad
25:29said goodbye on US soil.
25:31Chad and Leah.
25:33I'm obsessed with these.
25:35She flew nine hours to get there.
25:37Nine hours to meet a guy she'd just been texting.
25:40I asked her to go home and kind of make that decision.
25:44Is it the person that you're seeing in the UK that you want to
25:47continue to build a relationship with, or is it me?
25:50So he gave her an ultimatum, if you remember, last time.
25:53Yes.
25:54Well, she had another bloke, didn't she?
25:56I mean, he's been elbowed, yeah.
25:58She had another gays on the side, didn't she?
26:00Yeah.
26:02I just want to talk to you a bit.
26:04Oh, that sounds bad, doesn't it?
26:05I want to talk to you a bit, yeah.
26:07Oh, what's she going to say?
26:08I had a seven-hour flight to think about everything.
26:12Yeah?
26:13Yeah.
26:14Yeah?
26:15Oh, no, she's going to bit him off here.
26:17I'm really missing you.
26:19Oh, she's missing him.
26:20All right, she's missing him.
26:21That's nice, isn't it?
26:22I want to make you my priority and consider it over with the guy at home.
26:27Oh.
26:28Wow.
26:29She wants to make it work.
26:30I know.
26:31With the decision made, it's time for Leah to prepare for Chad's arrival.
26:35Chad's coming over.
26:36Oh, so Chad's going to...
26:37Chad's coming to Glasgow.
26:38Wow, I wonder what he thinks of Glasgow, then.
26:40I'm concerned for him.
26:42I don't know how long he's going to last in fucking Glasgow,
26:44that's what I'm saying.
26:45Chad's coming here.
26:46I'm not really sure if he'd like it.
26:47It's quite bare compared to, like, Chad's place.
26:50Quite bare?
26:52It's fucking windy, look.
26:54She's got a radiator.
26:55Yeah.
26:56Oh, you don't need anything else except a radiator and a purple cushion.
27:00This is how I sleep.
27:02Oh, no.
27:03I have a duvet folded over, kind of like, I just have pillows,
27:07and then I have another duvet I put over myself.
27:09What is going on?
27:10She's got no furniture.
27:11She's not got a bed.
27:12What, he's coming all the way over from Fargo,
27:15and she's going to put him on that?
27:17He'll go over there to Glasgow,
27:19one night sleep on her floor.
27:21Is that the chiropractor for the rest of the trip, like that?
27:25I'm a typical, like, 24-year-old, I guess,
27:27like, literally nothing on my fridge.
27:29She's got no food.
27:30What's he going to have for his tea? Floor and ketchup.
27:33Why would she think this is OK?
27:35I know why.
27:36Because she's 24!
27:38Not only is Chad making the trip from the States
27:41to spend time in Leah's world,
27:43he's also bringing his 16-year-old daughter, Bailey.
27:46Oh, no!
27:49Where's she going to sleep, in the fucking fridge?
27:51Leah, we're coming. You better be ready, girl.
27:53Yeah, Chad, don't get too excited, son.
27:55You're sleeping on the fucking floor, mate, in a squat.
27:57Hi!
27:58Look at this, girl!
28:02Oh, this is weird.
28:04Oh, he's hungry.
28:05Yeah.
28:06Cool.
28:07Cool, I've got nothing in.
28:10So will we need to pick up some stuff, too?
28:12Probably, yeah.
28:13Yeah, I bet.
28:14Probably, yeah.
28:15We need to get some bread, some milk and also two beds.
28:21I'm sorry, if people come down, I've always got to have a full phone shot.
28:24Yeah, she'll get an elbow.
28:26Yeah.
28:27Looks like someone's just moving in.
28:29I'll give you a wee tour.
28:31Tour? It's not nice, though.
28:32Oh, no, don't give him a tour.
28:33Yeah, there's nothing to say, love.
28:35This is the spare room.
28:37OK.
28:38Bailey, you can sleep in here, if you like.
28:40On what?
28:41You can sleep anywhere you like.
28:43Pick a corner.
28:44Yeah.
28:45This yours?
28:46Sure.
28:47Oh, and a sarnie.
28:49In a packet.
28:50I had Chinese last night, so I've got leftover Chinese I might have.
28:53OK.
28:54Oh, no.
28:55He's thinking, what have I done already?
28:56So he's having a sandwich for a meal deal,
28:58whilst she eats last night's Chinese.
29:02Bailey is trying to get some rest.
29:04Oh, look at her.
29:05Poor cow.
29:06Oh, no, that's not good.
29:07My God.
29:08She can't believe it.
29:09I can't believe it.
29:10And Chad's treating Leah in the hope of making his stay
29:14and Leah's home more comfortable.
29:16He's took her to fucking Ikea.
29:18Oh, Chad.
29:19He's took her to Ikea.
29:20Do you know what?
29:21I do love going to Ikea.
29:23They should have it there.
29:24Mm, meatballs.
29:26I'm not really sure how I genuinely feel about it,
29:28but a bed will feel more homely.
29:31He's bought a bed.
29:32There's a weird way to go about getting yourself a bed.
29:35Yeah.
29:36She's got him sewn up, hasn't she?
29:37Absolutely.
29:38Why are there so many parts, Leah?
29:41Did it feel weird when I came?
29:43When you got off the plane?
29:44Yeah.
29:45And he's assembling the stuff.
29:47Well, they're going to build this tonight.
29:49Do you know how long it takes to build an Ikea bed?
29:51One time it took me an entire weekend, with help.
29:54We just went and bought a bed and built it together.
29:58Is that not commitment?
30:00A commitment?
30:01What's commitment to you?
30:02Going to Ikea?
30:03Yeah.
30:04Buying a bed and building it with me?
30:06And he brings his own sandwiches.
30:07That's right, and data.
30:08Yeah.
30:09These people have got people flying halfway across the world.
30:11I shout on me drive.
30:13Single, I'll buy you a bed.
30:18Fucking joke.
30:20I can't, I'm done with this life.
30:22Single, I'll buy you a bed.
30:23I'll buy you a bed, if there's anyone out,
30:25I'll buy you a fucking matching wardrobe and all.
30:27I'm fucking fuming.
30:31In East London...
30:32I mean, I don't mean this to sound like an insult,
30:34but why are you so boring with your nails?
30:36This is an American manicure, Mum.
30:38It's classic and chic.
30:40You know what it is, it's quite Barbara.
30:42Andy and Adata Makita.
30:44Barbara Streisand.
30:45She's always, I realise she's got great hands,
30:47really great hands, and great, elegant, long fingers.
30:51It's a bit too Firestarter for me.
30:54Firestarter?
30:55It's a bit Carnival for me.
30:56No, but look, look, look, look.
30:58Did I shave my feet?
30:59It matches my feet.
31:01Yeah, that looks good.
31:02Talk to your other mates.
31:03I'm not going to be your nail friend in this funky way.
31:06I can't give you what you need.
31:08Talk to my other mates, what do you mean?
31:10Like, the people that want to get funky with you like this.
31:12I don't know anybody who wants to get funky with me.
31:14That's the problem.
31:15You and Kelly and everybody else.
31:17Hello, Setti.
31:18Maybe we'll paint Setti's nails.
31:19No!
31:22On Friday, it was the American presidential debate
31:25that made headline news on ITV.
31:28These are nice.
31:31What are those, man?
31:35Let me just sort my balls out for the news here so I'm comfy.
31:38Joe Biden had just one job in the first US presidential election
31:42debate to lay to rest concerns about his age.
31:46Joe Biden's in his 80s.
31:47Joe Biden's in his 80s.
31:48You think I want to piss around being the president in my 80s?
31:51In that, it's almost universally accepted that he failed.
31:55Not looking good for him, is it?
31:57No, it's not looking good at all.
31:58It really isn't.
31:59He shouldn't be running.
32:00No, why is he still...? Is he real?
32:02Yes, he's real.
32:03He's not one of them, was it?
32:05What?
32:06They're putting a stand in, you know?
32:08No, Mum, it's real.
32:09What are they called?
32:10AI.
32:11His performance has been panned as incoherent.
32:13At some points, he didn't even seem to be able to finish his thoughts.
32:16Poor old thing, though. He's 81.
32:18I know, but we know 81-year-olds who are realists, rightly.
32:21But he's not one of them.
32:23He's meant to be the most powerful person in the world
32:26who makes decisions... Yeah.
32:28..about stuff that's going to affect most people.
32:31And he cannot speak. He can't talk.
32:34Can he not?
32:35Let's have a pipe.
32:37When the two presidents met, only one looked the other in the eye.
32:41Most powerful nation in the whole world, 380 million people,
32:44and it comes down to these two.
32:47Christ alive.
32:48But soon it was clear Joe Biden was not having a good night,
32:52his campaign claiming he had a cold.
32:55Do you know what? Biden looks great, though, doesn't he?
32:58I don't know.
32:59Oh, sorry.
33:00LAUGHTER
33:03Excuse me, with, um, dealing with everything we have to do with...
33:08Oh. Oh.
33:10Oh, my God.
33:11Look...
33:13..if... Oh, no.
33:15Get some other fucker in.
33:17You can't have him running for president.
33:19Just somebody who knows where he is.
33:21Because he can't have Trump in.
33:23Someone who's not likely to shit himself.
33:25Yeah.
33:26And I'm going to continue to move until we get the total ban
33:29on the total initiative.
33:31There are days, I've seen him even recently,
33:33days when he seems quite sharp and quite good.
33:35Yes, yes, yes.
33:36But you've got to be on it, on it, on it.
33:38Do you reckon this is him malfunctioning?
33:43Oh, my life, look at him, he doesn't look real.
33:46President Trump?
33:47I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence.
33:50I don't think he knows what he said either.
33:53I mean, that's the only thing I'll ever agree with Trump on.
33:56Donald Trump just said something truthful.
33:58Everyone, can we just appreciate that moment?
34:00He's not equipped to be president.
34:02You know it and I know it, it's ridiculous.
34:04He isn't equipped to be president.
34:06He's not equipped to do anything.
34:08Even in the heavily rehearsed closing statement,
34:10Joe Biden appeared to struggle.
34:12He wants to get away with...
34:14Get rid of the ability of Medicare to...
34:18For the ability to...
34:21I can't watch it.
34:23I can't watch it.
34:25Oh, and it's sad.
34:26It's really fucking sad.
34:27Sad to watch, isn't it?
34:28Us to be able to negotiate drug prices with the big pharma companies.
34:31He just sounds so old, doesn't he?
34:33He sounds like he's just grasping onto the last little remnants of life.
34:39But he is, babe, look at him.
34:40When I'm 81, I don't want to be thinking about running a country, do you?
34:44I don't. I'll just be glad to be breathing.
34:47I know. I think you're right.
34:49Getting up in the morning.
34:50Exactly.
34:51I never thought I'd say this, but as shit show as it is over here at the minute...
34:55Yeah, it's a shit show.
34:56You look at that, you just think, thank fuck we're not having to go through that.
34:59Oh, yeah. Yeah.
35:02It's terrible, isn't it?
35:03Everywhere, everywhere is terrible.
35:05They're all terrible.
35:07And it seems worse since our queen died, doesn't it?
35:10Do you think?
35:11Can I say that?
35:12It's got nothing to do with the queen.
35:13Has it not?
35:20In North London...
35:22What's going on with these carrots?
35:24They look a bit sad.
35:25I actually think these carrots are more dehydrated than me, post Glastonbury.
35:30Nick and his niece Liv.
35:32What was your steps saying?
35:34Oh, my God, my steps?
35:35I was doing, like, 25,000 to 30,000 steps a day.
35:38We've done, like, 100,000 steps.
35:40Wow. Wow.
35:42We're like...
35:43Also, one of your steps is about three of mine.
35:46That is true.
35:47Yeah.
35:48You need to pick it up, actually.
35:50I just need longer legs.
35:51You need longer legs, for sure.
35:53Yeah.
35:54So, actually, we didn't do that much drinking.
35:56We slept.
35:57We did 100,000 steps.
35:59We've basically been to a health farm.
36:01We've been on a fitness retreat.
36:02We've been on a fitness retreat.
36:03Yeah.
36:04Soundtracked by Dua Lipa.
36:08On Tuesday night, Channel 5 took us back to the Dales
36:12with another episode of this.
36:15Oh, it's Yorkshire Vets.
36:17I love him.
36:18Have you seen the Yorkshire Vets?
36:19I know, but I like Yorkshire and I like vets.
36:22Yes.
36:27I'm a Yorkshire vet, not one of them rubbish Southern vets.
36:31I do cows.
36:33Julian's next patient is 11-year-old spaniel Poppy.
36:37Oh, no.
36:38More than a man's best friend, a dog.
36:40I mean, don't forget, dog backwards means God.
36:44So whoever called him a dog in the first place, you know,
36:48did that with meaning.
36:49Hello, Poppy, how are you today?
36:51Feeling sick?
36:52Oh, poor little Poppy.
36:54What's wrong with her?
36:55She looks very sad.
36:56Doesn't look very happy.
36:57It's not the happiest dog, is it?
36:58I would give that dog a hug.
37:01Big cuddle.
37:02Yeah, I'd give the dog a cuddle.
37:03The very first thing I'm going to do is palpate her tummy
37:07with my hands and that gives us immediately an idea.
37:10So if there's something like a stone
37:11or something that's hard in there...
37:13Could be a stone.
37:14It could be, but it also could be...
37:16It could be a golf ball.
37:17Oh!
37:18They play a lot of golf in Yorkshire.
37:20Do you remember when Pig ate 22 rocks?
37:22Do you remember when she ate the net off Turkey?
37:24Oh, yeah.
37:25I'm feeling Poppy's intestines and they feel quite abnormal.
37:28They feel thickened and wider than they should be.
37:31Ooh, OK, so they're feeling abnormal.
37:33There's something in there.
37:34What have you eaten, silly sausage?
37:36The thing about spaniels, they eat everything.
37:39Yeah?
37:40Yeah.
37:41What do you think she's eaten?
37:42Make a good game show of this, wouldn't it?
37:44Yeah, it would, actually.
37:45This muscle density here...
37:48shouldn't really be there.
37:50Oh!
37:51What is he?
37:52I would be a bit worried.
37:54That might even be a tumour.
37:55Oh, no. Oh, this is serious.
37:57So there's a number of possibilities in here.
38:00Oh, yeah.
38:01That is horrible.
38:02Ooh!
38:03I can't, I just can't.
38:04There's something in the stomach, guys.
38:06Oh, no.
38:07Oh, he's fancying straight away.
38:08What is it?
38:09Here we go.
38:10What's it going to be?
38:11Here we go.
38:12Ooh, look at that, what's that?
38:13It's crispy, whatever it is.
38:14Crispy?
38:15What?
38:16What is it?
38:17What's in the spaniel's stomach?
38:19There's a game for Christmas.
38:21Look at all that.
38:23It's plastic.
38:24It's chocolate.
38:25Oh, look.
38:26Ferrecio Raires, or whatever he's called,
38:28wrapped in that thing.
38:30That is literally wrapper, isn't it?
38:32Yeah.
38:33Oh, my God, how much he's taken out of that stomach.
38:36I know.
38:37That is insane.
38:39It's revolting.
38:40It's simply sweet wrappers.
38:43Sweet wrappers.
38:44Sweet wrappers.
38:45So there's obviously had a bowl of sweets.
38:47I really now want to know what type of sweet.
38:50The mum and dad might know.
38:51No.
38:52They'll be like, oh, I thought you ate the World's Originals.
38:54Yeah, I thought you ate them.
38:55No, it was poppy.
38:56I came home and noticed that there were a few wrappers
38:59in the lounge, there were a few wrappers on the bed,
39:02and then I went downstairs and discovered
39:05a half box of Heroes had disappeared.
39:07Heroes.
39:09She's ate a fucking box of Heroes.
39:11Fair play, Poppy. Delicious.
39:13Well, we've all been there, haven't we?
39:15I mean, but we usually take the wrapper off.
39:17Exactly.
39:18There's a very good chance that Poppy's going to make
39:20a full and complete recovery now.
39:22Isn't it great? A happy ending. Yay!
39:25I like a happy ending.
39:26Yeah, of course.
39:27We couldn't have had a sad ending on that, could we?
39:29Well, sometimes, because, you know,
39:31you've got to understand that things die.
39:34You know?
39:35What a way to go, though. Yeah.
39:37Death by fucking Heroes.
39:39Do you think vets are busier over the Christmas period?
39:42100%.
39:43Because everyone has loads of chocolate and shit.
39:45100%.
39:46Do you not remember when we went to the vets with Pig
39:48on Christmas Day and the receptionist was like this,
39:50like, hello, the vets?
39:52Yep. And what has they eaten?
39:54Yep.
39:55Box of celebrations? Yep.
39:56OK.
39:57And then on the next call, they're like, hello?
39:59And what's they eaten?
40:00After eights? Yep.
40:02OK, yep, we'll book her in.
40:03If you could bring her in right now.
40:05It's like that, non-stop. Non-stop.
40:09In Wakefield...
40:10Look at us, sat here, drinking coffee.
40:12I know. It's lovely, that coffee as well.
40:14It is nice, isn't it? It's a treat, isn't it?
40:16Milky coffee.
40:18Best friends Jane and Sue.
40:20Do you mind if I have milk since I've been on this fasting diet?
40:23Oh, well, don't forget your milk for your bones.
40:25My bones?
40:26You know, you get to a certain age, love.
40:28I'm not getting old, Sue, I've told you.
40:30I'm not going there.
40:31Well, you might not, but if your bones do, you've had it.
40:33Oh, aye.
40:34You'll just flop down.
40:35Oh, no, we don't want... What did Mimolet used to say?
40:38An empty sack never stands.
40:40Well, exactly.
40:42On Monday, ITV kick-started our day
40:45with a warm embrace from our favourite chit-chat show.
40:49A bit of this morning?
40:52Prepared for anything.
40:53I actually feel fantastic,
40:55considering we slept in a field for the weekend.
40:59MUSIC PLAYS
41:01Hello there. Welcome.
41:03This morning's on, your favourite.
41:05I'm on the way, I'm on the way.
41:07It's the latest wellness therapy that's growing in popularity,
41:11but would you pay £70 for a cuddle?
41:13What? Would you pay £70 for a cuddle?
41:15I don't like being touched by strangers. I know.
41:17I'd pay £70 and not be cuddled.
41:19It's got to be a special cuddle of a special person
41:22if I'm paying 70 quid.
41:23Like a famous person, like for you, someone from the Saturdays.
41:27Yeah, you know what? I love a cuddle, me.
41:29Do you want a cuddle bit? I'll give you a cuddle.
41:32I'll give you a cuddle. No, I don't want a cuddle.
41:34Get away, you. I'll give you a cuddle.
41:36No, I don't want a cuddle up here.
41:38What's wrong with my cuddles?
41:39You said you wanted a cuddle. I won't charge you 70 quid.
41:42Our next guest is a certified cuddle therapist.
41:45Therapist. Oh, my God, what's next?
41:48Anika Rose says that she helps clients
41:50through non-sexual physical touch therapy.
41:53Non-sexual.
41:54See, that's the problem, you'd want it to carry on.
41:56No, I would not. OK, just thought you might.
41:59Well, maybe.
42:01Lovely to have you here in the studio.
42:03Thank you for having me.
42:04£70 an hour? I don't want to cuddle for an hour.
42:07I'll get a bit bored by then.
42:09She's actually more expensive than, you know,
42:13someone who's got an office over at a paper shop.
42:16Oh, in a massage shop?
42:19Well, that's what I'm on about. I didn't want to say it like that.
42:23I said, you know, all massage parlours are over at a paper shop
42:27or over at Greengrocers. Not that I know.
42:30You're actually a professional at this.
42:33Can you explain what cuddle therapy is and how you become trained in it?
42:36I mean, if she's a professional cuddler,
42:38then you and I are professional cuddlers.
42:40She's got no more experience than us.
42:42We've all been cuddling our whole lives.
42:44But she might have a degree, we don't know yet, do we?
42:46Yeah, so cuddle therapy is a very relaxing and healing experience.
42:51Touch has a soothing effect.
42:53But, you see, I'm really tactile, so this appeals to me,
42:56cos I love touch.
42:58I know.
42:59When we hug and hold hands, our bodies release happy hormones.
43:04That is true.
43:05We should change our names to the Happy Hormones,
43:08cos now it's 60 and we're having our menopause, whatever it is.
43:12Menopause, yeah. What we're going through.
43:14No, I... No, what? Happy Mondays.
43:16Happy Hormones. Happy Hormones.
43:18No, I don't think it'll work.
43:20We do some breathing exercises together.
43:22Oh, a bit of breathing. A bit of breathing.
43:24It's being mindful. Mindfulness.
43:26We do some sitting-down hugs, and then if all is well,
43:29then we can go down on a lying-down hug.
43:32You do lying-down hugs as well? Not a lying-down hug.
43:37I'm sorry. No! Oh, you lost me there.
43:39I think that's boundaryless.
43:41Basically, we take it step by step.
43:43Bee, do you want a standing-up hug off me or a lying-down hug?
43:46I told you, I don't want an hug off you.
43:48A lying-down... A lying-down hug!
43:51You're not my type.
43:53Oh, come on, I can wrap my leg around you and give you a big cuddle.
43:56I can't think of anything more horrible.
43:58Ah!
43:59Would you demonstrate on me? Oh, come on, Ben.
44:01Kat's got a bit of a cold, so we don't want you hugging her.
44:04She got out of it. Kat got out of it.
44:06The diplomatic cold. We've all tried that.
44:08Tell you what, if I was there, I'd have leprosy, you know?
44:11I'd go to any lengths to get out of this.
44:14I'd have the most contagious, most dangerous disease ever.
44:17Do you want to do a... What's...
44:19Oh, there's Kat coughing, just to let you know.
44:21Yeah, I've got a cold.
44:23I can't come out.
44:25I'm sick.
44:26We would hold our hands and then we would close our eyes
44:29and take a deep breath in through the nose.
44:32Do it. Let's do it.
44:36Close your eyes. I'm watching.
44:38Oh, in through the nose. Oh, we can't even hold hands.
44:41Let's do... Oh, no, no.
44:43I'll go like this. OK, yes.
44:46And then out through the mouth.
44:49With a big whoosh.
44:53Sorry, I've had chicken for lunch. You don't want to have a go, do you?
44:56No, I've fucking done.
44:58Would you like to share a standing hug? Yes.
45:01And then we will share a standing hug.
45:03Or should we just sit down? We'll just sit down, cos...
45:06Oh, sorry.
45:08Come on, then. Relax.
45:10I am relaxed.
45:12Really relaxed, thanks.
45:15Don't do that shush noise.
45:18And we would do this for, like, a couple of minutes
45:22and then I would ask if they actually have something in mind.
45:25Oh, my God, that's the worst barracks I've heard, have you?
45:29I mean, I paid 70 quid to have a cuddle with Ben, but...
45:32Oh, God, he's happily married for us. Oh, I know.
45:35Come on, Ben, give me a hug. I'll make you feel better.
45:38I'll make you feel better, I promise you.
45:40You'll feel better and I'm not going to charge you 70 quid.
45:43I'm not going to charge you. You can have a hug off me for free.
45:46I don't want a hug off you.
45:47And what's the point, again? It's to relax your nervous system.
45:50I'm stressed watching it. Never mind poor Ben. Yeah.
45:53Just have a Valium and grow up.
45:55What's wrong? We've been together 40 years.
45:58Come on, I'll give you a hug.
46:00Look at that, that's good.
46:03Do you feel lighter now? I feel lighter.
46:05How much lighter do you feel? I feel about six and a half stone.
46:08Shall I give you another one? Go on, give me another one.
46:11I'm going to float off to the moon now.
46:19Smooching down the phone until it was IRL,
46:23Unravel the Tangled Web of the Nevermets, stream now.
46:27So, big news for the nation, which means we've a last leg
46:30to our election special, In The Wings.
46:33Joining the lads, many, including Munya Chawawa and Carol Vorderman,
46:37it's live and it's next.