The Life and Times of Tim The Life & Times of Tim S03 E003 The Caddy’s Shack The Sausage Salesman
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00:00Sous-titres par Juanfrance
01:00C'est le week-end, assieds-toi sur Tim's lap.
01:02Prends un verre.
01:03Prends ton top off.
01:04Je suis assez sereine, mais merci.
01:06Prends-lui une margarita.
01:07Woody, on a...
01:08D'accord, on a juste...
01:09On a du sourd.
01:10C'est pathétique.
01:11Rodney, ne pisse pas.
01:12Ne pisse pas sur le toit.
01:13Allez.
01:14Pas devant Amy, pas devant Amy.
01:15Désolé, je ne peux pas le tenir.
01:16Je dois nettoyer un peu l'espace.
01:17Pas devant Amy.
01:18C'est là où je me mets, habituellement.
01:19Tu veux un verre et du sourd ?
01:20Regarde, je m'amuse avec mon chien.
01:22Je ne touche même pas.
01:24Où est-ce que je commence à m'excuser ?
01:269h du matin.
01:27Totalement perdu.
01:28Je sais que des choses ont été dites qui ne peuvent pas être retenues.
01:30Tu dois trouver du travail, Tim.
01:32Omnicorp ne me donne pas de bonnes recommandations.
01:34Ils m'expliquent les gens que j'ai tenté de titiller quelqu'un.
01:37Est-ce qu'on ne peut pas en parler ?
01:38Je te le dis.
01:39Je t'explique pourquoi ça bouge lentement.
01:40As-tu pensé à Pine Glen ?
01:42Où j'étais habitué à Caddy ?
01:43Oui.
01:44Je ne vais pas retourner à Caddy.
01:46Pourquoi pas ?
01:47J'ai déménagé avec ma vie.
01:49As-tu ?
01:50Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire ?
01:51As-tu ?
01:52Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire ?
01:53Je suis un adulte.
01:54As-tu ?
01:55Putain.
01:56Je pense que toi, sortir et faire de l'argent,
02:00ça serait comme un boost de confiance.
02:02Tu me parles vraiment.
02:04Physiquement et figurativement.
02:08Hey.
02:09Frank, c'est vrai ?
02:10Oui.
02:11Je ne sais pas si tu te souviens de moi.
02:12J'étais habitué à Caddy.
02:13À l'école.
02:14Oh mon Dieu.
02:15Tim !
02:16C'est toi ?
02:17Tu te souviens ?
02:18Tu étais le plus génial de Caddy.
02:19Qui n'a jamais sauté sur ces pavillons ?
02:21Je n'ai pas sauté.
02:22Mais c'est génial que tu me souviennes.
02:23Si un homme était censé porter une bague d'un autre,
02:27c'était toi.
02:28C'est un mot bizarre pour faire un compliment.
02:29Je ne peux pas attendre de te voir en action.
02:31Tu ne l'as pas perdu, n'est-ce pas ?
02:33L'abilité de marcher et de porter des choses ?
02:35Oui.
02:36Tu étais juste né à Caddy.
02:37Bien.
02:38Tu avais le paquet complet, garçon.
02:39Subservience, manque d'ambition,
02:41obsequiesse.
02:42Obsequiesse ?
02:43Je ne sais pas ce que ça signifie.
02:44Pourquoi pas ?
02:45Tu es un Caddy.
02:49C'est génial.
02:50Un voyage dans la mémoire.
02:52Attends, attends.
02:53Qu'est-ce que tu fais ?
02:55Hey !
02:56Oncle Lou ?
02:57Oncle Lou ?
02:58Tu ne m'appelles pas Oncle Lou.
02:59Donne-moi un bisou,
03:00fils de pute.
03:01Qui est-ce que tu es
03:02qui m'appelle Oncle Lou ?
03:03Pourquoi ?
03:04C'est ton nom.
03:05Pour toi, mon nom est Louis.
03:06Et ces chaises de plâtre,
03:08c'est pour les Caddies de haut niveau.
03:09Tu as assis sur le banc, garçon.
03:11Sur le banc, c'est vrai.
03:12Bien.
03:13Mais tu dois admettre
03:14que je devais être considéré
03:15de haut niveau à ce moment-là.
03:16J'ai travaillé ici à l'école, tu te souviens ?
03:18Oui.
03:19Personne ne s'en soucie.
03:20Ecoute, ne t'inquiète pas.
03:21Je suis juste venu
03:22pour un petit exercice.
03:23Tu es venu aux Caddies
03:24pour l'exercice,
03:25c'est ça que tu me dis ?
03:26C'est un bon exercice.
03:27Jésus Christ,
03:28ça me fait mal.
03:29Ça te fait mal ?
03:30Ça me fait mal.
03:31Entre nous ?
03:32Oui.
03:33Je m'en fous.
03:34Je vois.
03:35Regarde-moi
03:36comme si j'étais
03:37l'un de ces enfants de haut niveau.
03:38OK.
03:39Wow, wow, wow, wow.
03:40Ne te compare pas à nous.
03:41Pourquoi ?
03:42Tu as des futures,
03:43tu es un perdant.
03:44Que veux-tu dire ?
03:45Je le tue.
03:46Tu le fais ?
03:48Je ne peux pas dire ça.
03:49Tu es un gros salaud,
03:50tu es un gros gars.
03:51Je te l'ai dit,
03:52je suis venu pour un petit exercice.
03:53Excuse-moi.
03:54Oh mon Dieu.
03:55Tu sais ce que tu es ?
03:56Un gars cool ?
03:57Tu es
03:58un fils de pute.
03:59Je suis un fils de pute.
04:00Un fils de pute garanti.
04:01Tu es un morceau de merde.
04:02C'est ça.
04:03Qui es-tu ?
04:04Tu es un morceau de merde.
04:05Qui est ce gars ?
04:06Je suis un autre gars,
04:07je suis un autre caddie.
04:08Je l'aime.
04:09Il est un caddie collé.
04:10C'est un bon gars.
04:11Je ne m'attendais pas
04:12à ce genre de réception.
04:13Tim,
04:14tu es au premier rang.
04:19Je vous recommande
04:20d'appuyer sur le moteur
04:21au milieu.
04:22C'est un bon gars.
04:23Bien, bien.
04:24Tim,
04:25c'est toi ?
04:26Non.
04:28C'est moi, Paul.
04:29Je te connais ?
04:30Oui,
04:31on est allé à l'école de grammaire
04:32ensemble.
04:33Et on s'est connu
04:34pendant 20 ans
04:35en collège.
04:36On s'est connu
04:37toute notre vie.
04:38Comment ça va ?
04:39C'est génial.
04:40C'est cool.
04:41C'est ton truc ?
04:42Tu fais le caddie ?
04:43Je ne caddie pas.
04:44Je n'ai pas un travail.
04:46Mais tu es un caddie.
04:47Tu caddies pour nous ?
04:48Je vais porter tes sacs.
04:49OK.
04:50Je ne caddie pas,
04:51mais je circule
04:52dans le monde corporel
04:53et dans l'arène.
04:54Wow.
04:55Tu as mis ton masque
04:56dans l'arène.
04:57C'est génial.
04:58Manhattan,
04:59Midtown,
05:00tout ça.
05:01Oui, oui.
05:02Tu voles haut,
05:03tu es très occupé
05:04et tu as des vêtements.
05:05Tu caddies aujourd'hui.
05:06Des vêtements et tout.
05:07Un garçon occupé.
05:08Un garçon occupé.
05:09Tu es un garçon occupé.
05:10Allons boire du thé.
05:11Allons boire du thé.
05:12Bien,
05:13après,
05:14viens boire un verre avec nous.
05:15Qui sait,
05:16tu es sérieux ?
05:17Bien sûr.
05:18Je ne regarde pas vraiment,
05:19mais...
05:20Bien évidemment,
05:21tu es occupé
05:22dans l'arène corporelle.
05:23Oui,
05:24tu circules dans l'arène corporelle
05:25et en même temps,
05:26tu caddies le dimanche.
05:27Oh,
05:28wow,
05:29c'était fatiguant.
05:30Oh,
05:31tu es fatigué,
05:32mon garçon ?
05:33Quoi ?
05:34Tu vas retourner chez ta maman
05:35pour changer ton vêtement ?
05:36Rien de ce genre.
05:37Wouah,
05:38petit Tim.
05:39Tu es l'un des plus
05:40angoissants
05:41que j'ai rencontré.
05:42Tu vas retourner chez ta maman
05:43pour changer ton vêtement,
05:44n'est-ce pas ?
05:45Tu penses que je vais faire ça ?
05:46Je pense que oui.
05:47Je ne vais pas voir ma mère
05:48jusqu'à l'anniversaire.
05:49Petit garçon.
05:50Je n'apprécie pas ça.
05:51Petit garçon qui ne pouvait pas
05:52caddier.
05:53C'est vrai.
05:54Honnêtement,
05:55tu dois le savoir,
05:56Frank dit que je suis
05:57l'un des meilleurs.
05:58Oh,
05:59t'es sérieux ?
06:00Il veut que je revienne
06:01à plein temps.
06:02Je lui ai dit que j'avais
06:03d'autres offres.
06:04Je lui ai dit que j'avais...
06:05Caddie-off,
06:06ici,
06:07maintenant.
06:08Caddie-off,
06:09caddie-off,
06:10caddie-off,
06:11caddie-off,
06:12caddie-off,
06:13caddie-off.
06:14C'est bien, messieurs.
06:15Un test de nos compétences
06:16de caddie.
06:17Bien sûr.
06:18D'accord, d'accord.
06:19Que voulez-vous jouer ?
06:20On va jouer le même
06:21que nous jouons toujours.
06:22Quoi ?
06:23Le Dr Pepper ?
06:24Le perdant doit faire
06:25un coup de nez
06:26et faire foutre le 18ème trou.
06:27Tu es censé être
06:28l'administrateur
06:29dans ce groupe.
06:30C'est vrai.
06:31Ok,
06:32allez.
06:33C'est ça,
06:34regarde ces boules.
06:35Trent,
06:36tu as gagné.
06:39Tim,
06:40combien de T ?
06:4172 T.
06:42Ouais,
06:43c'est bien.
06:44Et l'avantage,
06:45Tim.
06:52C'est...
06:536 T.
06:54Je dirais que c'est 7.
06:55Tim,
06:56tu es le gagnant.
06:57Ah,
06:58putain,
06:59graphite !
07:00C'est le 14ème.
07:01Oh, mon Dieu.
07:02Trent,
07:03tu me déçois, mon fils.
07:04Allez.
07:05Hey,
07:06j'ai voulu que l'enculé
07:07gagne.
07:08Qu'est-ce que je peux te dire ?
07:09Juste assure-toi
07:10que Franck
07:11ne regarde pas, d'accord ?
07:12Oh, mon Dieu,
07:13il le fait.
07:14Vraiment,
07:15c'est foutu.
07:16C'est bon.
07:17Oh, mon Dieu.
07:18Tu sais ce que tu devrais faire ?
07:19Filmer.
07:20Tu penses ?
07:21Ouais.
07:22C'est pas foutu ?
07:23Fais-le.
07:24Hey,
07:25Trent,
07:26sourire pour la caméra.
07:27Oh, mon Dieu,
07:28vraiment ?
07:29C'est bon,
07:30je l'ai filmé.
07:31C'est drôle.
07:32Fantastique.
07:33C'est drôle.
07:34J'adore ça.
07:35Je te le dis,
07:36envoie-moi le film
07:37et mon numéro est
07:38917-555-0193.
07:39Tu l'as ?
07:40Ok, deux secondes.
07:41C'est un film
07:42photographique
07:43d'un mineur.
07:44Et maintenant,
07:45j'ai une copie
07:46que tu m'as envoyé.
07:47Qu'est-ce que tu parles ?
07:48Je m'en vais,
07:49j'ai un rendez-vous.
07:50On t'a pris, mec.
07:51Faire du porno
07:52c'est une chose,
07:53mais une fois distribué,
07:54c'est la fin.
07:55Je ne pense pas
07:56que le golf hall compte.
07:57Tu l'as distribué,
07:58tu ne comprends pas ?
07:59Tu es un pornographe, mec.
08:00Non, vous l'avez tous vu.
08:01Il y a des témoins.
08:02C'est pas ce qui s'est passé.
08:03Oh, oh, oh,
08:04mais nous allions
08:05vous témoigner.
08:06Nous vous prenons
08:07Ce que je veux,
08:08c'est que vous soyez humble.
08:09Vous serez mon caddie
08:10personnelle
08:11pour un jour.
08:12Absolument pas.
08:13Oui.
08:14Je n'ai pas de temps.
08:15Non.
08:16J'ai un agenda complet.
08:17Bien sûr.
08:18S'il vous plaît, ne le faites pas.
08:19Je vous dirai quoi,
08:20ça va faire qu'il s'arrête le film.
08:21C'est ridicule.
08:22Vous êtes vraiment
08:23juste un peu dégueulasse
08:24sur tellement de niveaux.
08:25Banane ?
08:26Banane ?
08:27Oui.
08:28C'est une blague ?
08:29Banane !
08:30Banane qui ?
08:31Donnez-moi une banane.
08:32Oh, vous voulez une banane ?
08:33Oui.
08:34Oh, oh, d'accord.
08:35Ah, oui.
08:36Vous savez quoi ?
08:37Voici vos clés.
08:38Je vous verrai.
08:39Oh, mon garçon.
08:40Je vous verrai plus tard.
08:41Hey !
08:42Où pensez-vous que vous allez ?
08:43Vous n'êtes pas encore fini avec moi.
08:44Allez, je dois rencontrer
08:45quelqu'un dans le clubhouse
08:46pour une bière.
08:47Tu sais, ce que tu dois faire
08:48c'est que tu dois
08:49rentrer dans la voiture.
08:50C'est ce que tu dois faire.
08:51Je ne rentre pas dans la voiture.
08:52Oui, tu le fais.
08:53Juste rentre dans la voiture.
08:54Je vais mourir
08:55si je rentre dans la voiture.
08:56Rentre dans la voiture.
08:57Où allons-nous aller ?
08:58Nous allons aller
08:59quelque part où tu vas t'amuser.
09:00C'est la phrase la plus terrifiante
09:02Oh, mon Dieu.
09:03Où sommes-nous ?
09:04Home sweet home
09:05is where we are.
09:06All right, let's just do this.
09:07What do you need me to carry ?
09:08Chut.
09:09There's a possum over there.
09:10You want to feed him ?
09:11Little son of a bitch.
09:12Hand me the gun.
09:13Oh, no.
09:14Just give it to me.
09:15I'm not helping you
09:16kill a possum, Lou.
09:17That's what caddies do, caddies.
09:18Caddies don't kill possums.
09:19They hand me the gun.
09:23I got him.
09:24You see that stuff ?
09:25I got him.
09:27Who are you ?
09:28I'm going to go fetch the possum,
09:29right ?
09:30Watch out, Stu.
09:31You start chopping that wood
09:32for the fire, boy.
09:33Chop it up !
09:34And that's as weird
09:35as it's going to get ?
09:36And I want you to watch out
09:37for the rattlers, Stu.
09:38This place is lousy with them.
09:39How is it we're only
09:4045 minutes from Manhattan ?
09:43So what's the deal
09:44with that Tim guy ?
09:45I don't know.
09:46We grew up together.
09:47I feel sorry for him.
09:48Why ?
09:49He's just had
09:50a stretch of bad luck.
09:51In grade school,
09:52he killed a bomb
09:53by feeding him a leftover
09:54tuna sandwich
09:55that had gone bad.
09:56You're kidding.
09:57Then in high school,
09:58he invited up
09:59giving handjobs
10:00to everyone in the bathroom.
10:01Oh.
10:02But it wasn't a good handjob.
10:03I know what you mean.
10:04It was a crazy thing.
10:05She bit a kid.
10:06Why would you want
10:07to hire a guy like that ?
10:08I guess I like
10:09to give people shots.
10:10But now he's blowing me off,
10:11I'm kind of done.
10:12Well, I'm sure
10:13he has a great excuse.
10:15Fuck, I love chopping wood.
10:17Oh, that is good exercise.
10:19Oh, hello.
10:20Hey.
10:21Hey, you.
10:22Hey, are you still
10:23at the club ?
10:24The club ?
10:25Yeah, the clubhouse.
10:26I'm at a house.
10:27How's it going ?
10:28I'm definitely getting exercise.
10:29That much...
10:30That much I can say.
10:31And I mean,
10:32that was sort of the point.
10:33Exercise...
10:34It's a pretty roundabout way
10:35to get a workout, but...
10:36Wait, is that a banjo ?
10:37A banjo ? No.
10:38Come on in, son.
10:39Vittles is ready.
10:40Let's go.
10:41I gotta go.
10:42Listen, I'm at a country club.
10:43I gotta go.
10:44Okay, okay.
10:45Bye.
10:46Listen, I gotta get
10:47back to the club.
10:48No, you don't gotta get
10:49back anywhere
10:50because I got some chores
10:51I need you to do.
10:52Just a couple of chores.
10:53You know what ?
10:54Enough.
10:55The wood is chopped.
10:56No, it's not enough.
10:58You okay ?
10:59I'm bit !
11:00I'm bit !
11:02Oh, Jesus Christ !
11:03The possum ?
11:04The possum ?
11:05Oh, the rattler !
11:06All right, there's a vial
11:07of antivenom in the house.
11:08Go get it, Tim.
11:09Before I do,
11:10can I just confirm
11:11that you'll destroy
11:12the surveillance video ?
11:13I don't wanna destroy what ?
11:14Yes, whatever !
11:15You promise you'll destroy
11:16the video I texted you ?
11:17I promise, Jimmy.
11:18Don't whisper.
11:19Please, I swear if you do...
11:27You said you swear ?
11:31I can't believe
11:32that son of a bitch is dead.
11:33Hey, listen.
11:34Do not be hard on yourself here.
11:35You got him the antivenom
11:36as fast as you could.
11:37These snakebites move fast.
11:40You know, hey,
11:41it's easy to beat up on yourself.
11:42I know, believe me.
11:43I've had a lot of people
11:44die on me.
11:45A lot of people.
11:46And it's true.
11:47Probably if you got him
11:48the antivenom 30 seconds sooner,
11:49he probably would have lived.
11:50You know what ?
11:51That's true.
11:52That's a fact.
11:53But you did the best
11:54you could, right ?
11:55Then live the rest
11:56of your life unburdened.
11:57All right ?
11:58That's my gift to you.
11:59Thank you.
12:00All right, well,
12:01I gotta get this dead body
12:02to the dump.
12:05Hey, has anyone seen Lou ?
12:0730 years,
12:08he's never just no-showed.
12:09No.
12:10Get the fuck out,
12:11he's not here.
12:12Yeah, it's weird.
12:15Hey, by the way,
12:16you shouldn't let Lou
12:17fuck with you.
12:18What do you mean ?
12:19Well, first of all,
12:20the security cameras here
12:21haven't worked for years.
12:22Oh.
12:23And old Lou,
12:24he doesn't even have a cell phone.
12:25He told me he did.
12:26Oh, he's fucking weird.
12:28He's just proud of his job.
12:29And I think he was offended
12:31when you said you were
12:32caddying for the exercise.
12:34Oh.
12:35You have to admit, though,
12:36between you and me,
12:37it is a good workout.
12:38Yeah,
12:39look at the shape I'm in.
12:49Stew is in heaven
12:51He's looked so long for heaven
12:53Here it is
12:54That's smoked chipotle right there.
12:56Smoked chipotle ?
12:58What that would sound like
13:00if this sausage could talk
13:02Here, try this,
13:03turkey cilantro.
13:05I'm a turkey cilantro sausage
13:07Excuse me.
13:09Excuse me.
13:10Goodbye.
13:11I'm on to you.
13:12I don't know what you're talking about.
13:13Whenever we have free samples here,
13:14you walk around here
13:15for about an hour
13:16with an empty cart,
13:17and you come and you eat
13:18all the samples,
13:19and as soon as the samples are out,
13:20you leave,
13:21and you don't buy anything.
13:22The Gestapo was back in business here.
13:24The Gestapo was never a business,
13:26okay ?
13:27It was a branch of the military
13:28Exactly.
13:29Under Nazi Germany,
13:30and I am nothing like that.
13:31Okay, SS.
13:32Why don't you send me off to the camp
13:33where I can't eat
13:34Okay.
13:35With no rights.
13:36Yeah, look at this.
13:38This is lunch for him.
13:39This is not lunch.
13:40This is dinner.
13:41You know what ?
13:42Thank you.
13:43Why don't I talk to him ?
13:44I'll be able to work this out.
13:45Why don't you go back ?
13:46There's a spill in aisle 10.
13:48There's nothing in aisle 10
13:49that could possibly spill.
13:50Oh, really ?
13:51If you don't know
13:52what you're talking about,
13:53stay out of my business.
13:56That guy.
13:57What a downer.
13:58Oh, wow.
13:59I'm putting on a good face,
14:00but inside I'm really hurt.
14:01Well, listen,
14:02let me try and cheer you up
14:03a little bit.
14:04I don't hold these events often,
14:05and I'm very particular
14:06about who I invite,
14:07but I feel something special
14:08about you.
14:09Really ?
14:10How would you like
14:11to make sausages your job ?
14:12Would I be eating the sausages
14:13for my job ?
14:14No.
14:15You'd be selling them.
14:16Huh.
14:17Almost amazing,
14:18but not at all,
14:19is what I would say to that.
14:20I'm going to give you
14:21a case of gourmet sausages
14:22if you come to this event.
14:23I just came in my pants.
14:24Right ?
14:25No, literally.
14:26This is not a metaphor.
14:27No, no, no.
14:28I know.
14:29I get it.
14:30I get you.
14:32Why are we in New Jersey ?
14:33Yeah, Stu.
14:34What ?
14:35You said we're going
14:36to your friend's party.
14:37Yeah.
14:38Brad or Radisson.
14:39The guy's not exactly my friend,
14:40and it's not exactly a party,
14:41but I can guarantee
14:42that you are going
14:43to be glad you came.
14:44What ?
14:45What the hell ?
14:46Oh, man !
14:47I'm pumped up, bros !
14:49What's up, New Jersey ?
14:51Huh ?
14:52Let's go, Weehawken !
14:54What the hell is this ?
14:55We each get a free case of sausages
14:57for showing up,
14:58so you're welcome.
14:59If you're here tonight,
15:00it's for three reasons.
15:02You love cash,
15:04you got a big dick,
15:05and you love motherfucking sausages,
15:08right ?
15:09Right ?
15:10Ha ha ha ha !
15:11Yeah !
15:12Oh, man !
15:13I admit,
15:14this is a bit bizarre.
15:15I admit that.
15:16Let's rock and roll tonight.
15:17How's everybody doing, huh ?
15:18You guys wanna make some money ?
15:20Yeah.
15:21Do you wanna get laid ?
15:23Yeah.
15:24Yeah, sure.
15:25Yeah, well,
15:26what's the best way
15:27to do that, huh ?
15:28Meet somebody.
15:29Wrong !
15:30Fucking sausages, man !
15:33Say it !
15:34Sausages.
15:36Say sausages again !
15:38Sausages.
15:39Say fucking sausage
15:40from your dick !
15:41Say it from your dick !
15:43Fucking sausages.
15:44Yeah !
15:45That's better !
15:46That was it.
15:47That was it.
15:51So much explaining to do, Stu.
15:53There's gonna be a discussion tomorrow.
15:57Oh, my God,
15:58your dad is killing me
15:59with these veiled comments
16:00about not having a job.
16:01It's really...
16:02It's inappropriate dinner talk.
16:03Just ignore him.
16:04I'm so impressed
16:05by bathroom attendants.
16:06There he is.
16:07Mm-hmm.
16:08Tim.
16:09Take a piss ?
16:10Do you admire bathroom attendants ?
16:11I have nothing against them.
16:12Doing a job they hate
16:13simply because they need the work.
16:14All working hard.
16:15Tim, do me a favor.
16:16Do you have to take a pee ?
16:17Go in there
16:18and watch that guy work.
16:19All right.
16:20He's a hard worker.
16:21For 25 years,
16:22I've had a job I absolutely hate
16:23for a boss who doesn't appreciate me.
16:24It's true.
16:25Mm-hmm.
16:26You think I do that
16:27because it's fun ?
16:28Doesn't sound like fun.
16:29But I did it
16:30and that guy's doing it.
16:31I tell you what,
16:32it's impressive.
16:33Let's bring that guy out to the table.
16:34We should buy him dinner.
16:35I feel like we should
16:36change the subject.
16:37You wanna talk about the bread ?
16:38Excuse me, sir,
16:39but your credit card
16:40has been denied.
16:41No, I always pay.
16:42I should be good.
16:43They'd like to talk to you.
16:44Talk to me.
16:45Hello ?
16:46Hello ?
16:47Hello, is this Tim ?
16:48Yeah.
16:49Tim, hi, this is Irene
16:50from Visa Collections.
16:51Yeah ?
16:52Sir, this is a courtesy call
16:54because you haven't paid your bill.
16:56Uh, I'm gonna mail it on Monday.
16:58You've made a series
16:59of imprudent charges lately.
17:00Let's just start
17:01with a recent purchase
17:02of a Coney Island
17:03all-day unlimited ride fun pass.
17:05Can I say something ?
17:06Absolutely, sir.
17:07Go ahead.
17:08I've got dessert coming.
17:09You should be ashamed of yourself.
17:11Can you hang up on her ?
17:12She's still talking to her.
17:13You got the balls
17:14to meet at Coney Island
17:15when you can't pay your bills ?
17:16Were you educated at all ?
17:18I'm begging you
17:19to hang up the phone.
17:20Wow, you got balls.
17:21I'll hang it up.
17:23I don't know
17:24what that was all about.
17:25Tell me if this sounds like fun,
17:26though.
17:27You guys wanna dine in Dash ?
17:28You ever do that for fun ?
17:29Tim, what's going on ?
17:30You run away.
17:31Run down the block.
17:35Thanks for agreeing
17:36to meet with me, Tim.
17:37Sure, I like scones,
17:38I like coffee.
17:39I'm sorry,
17:40this is awkward for me.
17:41I just have to get
17:42something off my chest
17:43and I just...
17:44Please don't tell Amy
17:45I said this, but...
17:46You gay ?
17:47You gay ?
17:48No, I'm not gay.
17:49I just was gonna say
17:50I think you should
17:51break up with my daughter.
17:52Maybe when you get a job,
17:53you can start dating again.
17:54What ?
17:55Why would I break up ?
17:56You don't have a job, son.
17:57I have a job ?
17:58What made you think
17:59I don't have a job ?
18:00You didn't mention
18:01any job last night.
18:02I didn't wanna rub it
18:03in your face.
18:04You seem like you're miserable.
18:05You're bragging about
18:06how you hate going in
18:07and you love taking it
18:08up the ass and...
18:09You're not just saying that
18:10because I...
18:11You wanna see where I work ?
18:12Check out this
18:13four-color pamphlet.
18:14Sausages ?
18:15I make my own hours,
18:16I'm my own boss,
18:17I get to handle the meat
18:18all day long.
18:19Pure freedom, you know ?
18:20You know what ?
18:21I thought you smelled
18:22like sausages.
18:23It was...
18:24I do.
18:25You know,
18:26I wanna smell like sausages.
18:27If they made a sausage cologne,
18:28I'd spritz it on my body.
18:29I love my job.
18:30I love my job.
18:31It sounds like it.
18:32It sounds like
18:33you just love sausage
18:34and I have to say
18:35I apologized to him.
18:36You feel like a fool ?
18:37I wouldn't go that far, but...
18:38Yeah, sorry.
18:39I shouldn't try
18:40to push my luck.
18:41Hey !
18:42Did you get a job ?
18:43Not that I know of.
18:44Well, my mom just called
18:45and said,
18:46tell Tim congratulations
18:47on the new job.
18:48Oh...
18:49Did I get...
18:50Maybe I did get a job.
18:51Did I get a job ?
18:52Okay, what's going on ?
18:53All right,
18:54you wanna know the truth ?
18:55Yes.
18:56Your dad called me
18:57and made me meet him.
18:58He wanted me
18:59to break up with you.
19:00What ?
19:01He said,
19:02since I don't have a job,
19:03he doesn't want me dating you.
19:04So I lied and said
19:05I'm a sausage salesman
19:06in the tri-state area.
19:07You know what ?
19:08That really pisses me off.
19:09Hey !
19:10That really pisses me off.
19:11Him or me.
19:12Why would he tell you
19:13to break up with me ?
19:14Oh yeah, right ?
19:15The nerve !
19:16I'm calling him.
19:17I'm calling him.
19:18I have to confront him
19:19about that.
19:20Let's call the son of a bitch.
19:21He has no business doing this.
19:22Fuck that guy !
19:25This is Richard.
19:26Dad, you have some nerve.
19:27Listen,
19:28I assume Tim told you
19:29about our talk.
19:30What do you have against him ?
19:31I don't get it.
19:32Honey,
19:33I have nothing against Tim.
19:34I'm actually glad
19:35that he's having some success.
19:36Some success ?
19:37Guess how much he's projected
19:38to make this year, Dad.
19:39300,000 dollars.
19:40What ?
19:41300,000 dollars ?
19:42Yes.
19:43I don't know what to say.
19:44You can say,
19:45I'm sorry.
19:46I'm sorry for being
19:47a senile old man
19:48and I will never
19:49question Tim again.
19:50I'm sorry for being
19:51a senile old man
19:52and I will never
19:53question Tim again.
19:54How was that ?
19:55Thank you.
19:56Oh, okay, you're welcome.
19:57That was pretty good.
19:58Right ?
19:59You're good at lying
20:00when you want it to.
20:01Thank you.
20:02We're a good couple
20:03when it comes to lying.
20:04300,000 dollars.
20:06Jeez Louise,
20:07that is a lot of money.
20:08A lot of money.
20:09Let's see here,
20:10your own boss,
20:11that's nice.
20:12Dick,
20:13hey,
20:14what are you doing in here ?
20:15Jerking off to porn, huh ?
20:16No,
20:17and just to be clear,
20:18it's Richard.
20:19You know, Dick,
20:20I don't like that,
20:21it's Richard.
20:22Dick in here,
20:23jerking his dick.
20:24I know it's going down, dude.
20:25Okay, okay.
20:26Anybody in here
20:27see what he's watching in here ?
20:28Huh ?
20:29MILFs ?
20:30Huh ?
20:31Secretaries ?
20:32No.
20:33Huh ?
20:34Nope.
20:35Barely legal ?
20:36I know how you roll, Dick.
20:37I'm not looking
20:38at big titty pictures.
20:39How many fucking pens
20:40do you have on your fucking desk ?
20:41Back off, Jerry.
20:42Just back off.
20:43I don't like to be disrespected
20:44and I don't need
20:45to be treated like this.
20:46Hey, everybody.
20:47I don't know if you hear this
20:48but Dick's doing a porn speech
20:49if you want to come on in.
20:50You know what ?
20:51Shut your mouth.
20:52Shut your mouth,
20:53you young punk.
20:54Shut your mouth.
20:55Oh, oh, oh.
20:56You want to talk about porn ?
20:57I was fucking girls in the butt
20:58while you were still in diapers.
20:59So shut your mouth.
21:00Okay, okay.
21:01There's a line
21:02and you just crossed over it.
21:03You didn't just step over it,
21:04you fucking leaped over it.
21:05Before you even go there,
21:06I quit.
21:07No, you're fired.
21:08I'm going to be selling
21:09gourmet sausages, my friend.
21:11I'll be offering the consumer
21:13innovative new flavors
21:14like smoked chipotle,
21:16turkey cilantro.
21:18So suck on that, Dick.
21:22That was really awesome
21:23until it turned into
21:24a speech about sausages.
21:27Oh, man.
21:29Oh, man.
21:30Hold on.
21:31Let me just do one of these.
21:33Oh, wow.
21:36Man, my heart is racing.
21:37When you walked in,
21:38I nearly lost my shit,
21:39literally, my pants.
21:40Right.
21:41You said that already.
21:42I mean, between your age
21:43and the blue suit
21:44and your demeanor
21:45and your haircut,
21:46you must get mistaken
21:47for a fed all the time.
21:48Actually, never.
21:49Are you afraid of someone
21:50from the federal government
21:51coming in here ?
21:52I've got a desk
21:53full of cocaine here, man.
21:55Yeah, I'm afraid of the feds.
21:57I can see that.
21:58Yeah.
22:00So what do you do ?
22:01So what do you want ?
22:02I'm a little confused,
22:03to be honest.
22:04According to these numbers,
22:05I've run them a couple of times.
22:06If I worked seven days a week
22:07and actually hit all the targets,
22:09I'd be lucky
22:10to clear $20,000 a year.
22:12Yeah.
22:13You'd be the luckiest
22:14fucking guy here
22:15to make 20 grand a year.
22:16That'd be great.
22:18I'm sorry.
22:19Who here makes
22:2020 grand a year ?
22:21No one.
22:22I'm sorry.
22:23I'm a little confused.
22:24Hold on.
22:25Hold on.
22:26Hey, Rico,
22:27you've got to wear
22:28a shirt in here, dude.
22:29I'm so sorry about this.
22:30Quite all right.
22:31Nobody wears shirts.
22:32It's like,
22:33this is their little revolution.
22:34Like, if they don't wear shirts,
22:35they somehow got one on me.
22:37I'm wasting your fucking time, man.
22:39You don't need this job.
22:40You're obviously
22:41way too smart for this,
22:42so nice to meet you.
22:44I'm sorry.
22:45I'm totally lost now.
22:47Look, look,
22:48most of my employees
22:49are mostly college kids,
22:50man, or ex-cons, okay ?
22:51They generally can't
22:52figure these numbers out,
22:53and even if they do,
22:54they don't have a lot of options
22:55because they're ex-cons
22:56or college kids.
22:57Right.
22:58So what about Tim ?
22:59He's on track to make
23:00$300,000 this year.
23:01I don't know Tim.
23:02I don't have a Tim here.
23:03Who the fuck's Tim ?
23:04Oh, Jesus Christ.
23:07And he just quit, Amy.
23:0930 years at the firm
23:10and he just flipped the bird
23:12and walked out of the office.
23:13I know, Mom.
23:14I mean, sausages.
23:15$300,000 a year
23:16for selling sausages.
23:18He had a pension.
23:19I know.
23:20He is not an animal.
23:21Mom.
23:22I have to go.
23:23I have a meet-up.
23:25Did you tell her I said hi ?
23:27Why did you have to tell him
23:28that you were a sausage salesman ?
23:29Wait, wait, me ?
23:30Yeah.
23:31No, your lie
23:32was the offensive lie.
23:34Yeah, but, I mean,
23:35sausage salesman, that's...
23:36Amy, please,
23:37don't try to pin this on me.
23:38My lies always go off smoothly.
23:40You don't know how to lie.
23:41You're right.
23:42Right ?
23:43Yeah, I...
23:44You lost control.
23:45I fucked up.
23:47I like hearing the sounds of that.
23:49These shabby shoes
23:50I'm wearing all the time
23:53Is full of holes and nails
23:57And, brother, if I stepped
23:58On a worn-out dime
24:00I bet a nickel I could tell you
24:02If it was heads or tails
24:04I'm not gonna worry
24:06Wrinkles in my brow
24:08Cause nothing's ever gonna be
24:10All right, no how
24:12No matter how I struggle
24:14And strive
24:16I'll never get out
24:17Of this world alive