The Sooty Show E00- The Good The Bad and The Furry
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00:00Oh, hello there. I was just telling you sooty sweet and soo. This is a fact. Over half
00:28the adults in this country never ever buy a book. It's true that. And it doesn't look
00:33as if things are going to get any better. Thanks to these dreadful things. Computer
00:37games. You know, when I was a kid, we used to play proper games. Oh, I think you're
00:41wrong there, Matthew. Of course I'm not wrong. I remember it very well. So, look, you name
00:45me a proper game. Go on, name a game. The Lost Caves of Throng. What? The Lost Caves of
00:50Throng. It's brilliant. You have to get the treasure before it's too late. No, no, no,
00:54hang on. That is another computer game, that. Well, of course. What other games are there?
01:00You see, exactly my point. What other games are there? No, no, in my day, we used to play
01:04for hours and hours and hours and we never needed computers. What, sooty? What did I
01:09play? Well, I used to play, um, I used to play, um, Cowboys and Indians. Yes, you know,
01:18Cowboys, Red Indians. It was a great game, was that? Cowboys and Indians as a sissy.
01:24This is not a sissy game. You should try playing it. Well, we'll give it a whirl, eh, boys?
01:28How do you play, Matthew? Well, first of all, you've got to decide whether you're going
01:32to be Cowboys or Indians. Look, tell you what, go and use the bathroom and try and decide
01:36who you're going to be. Right. Off you go, go on. Hey, after all these years, we're going
01:40to play Cowboys and Indians. Say, partner, there ain't room for two of us in this here
01:45town. I'm going to give you 24 hours to... I'm going to give you... How am I going to...
01:50Oh, that was close. He caught me playing. Right, now we're to decide who's going to
01:59be the Cowboys and who is going to be the Indians. You want to be a Cowboy? All right,
02:04well, look, Sweep, we'll have the Cowboys on that side and the Indians on this, so you
02:08go over there. Right, well, I think I'd like to be a Cowboy, too, because I'd love to live
02:13on a Cowboy ranch called Ponderosa, so I'll stand over here with you, Sweep. And what
02:17about you, Sooty? Ah, you're going to be a Red Indian. Well, that's very brave, since
02:22you're heavily outnumbered by us Cowboys. I mean, if we Cowboys were to attack, you
02:26wouldn't stand a chance, would you? What is it, Sooty? You've changed your mind. What
02:33do you mean, you want to be a Cowboy now? Well, what made you change your mind? Is it
02:37because you're afraid? Is that why you want to be a Cowboy? Oh, I see. It's not because
02:43he's afraid at all, Sweep. Sooty wants to be a Cowboy because he's remembered that Cowboys
02:47eat beans, and he likes beans. What, Sweep? The Cowboys really eat beans? Well, yes, of
02:55course they do, Sweep. Everyone knows that. You're going to be a Red Indian. Why, Sweep?
03:03You don't like beans? Well, do you know, Sweep? And this has nothing whatsoever to do with
03:08beans, but I think I'm going to change my mind. I'd like to be a Red Indian because
03:12I just love those fancy feather headdresses they wear. So that leaves you on your own
03:17again, Sooty. Just one little teddy bear against a whole tribe of Red Indians. Oh,
03:23you've decided to be a Red Indian as well, have you? It's because you're afraid, isn't
03:27it? No? Well, why do you want to be a Red Indian then? Oh, you like the idea of living
03:34in a tent. Well, yes, it does sound like fun, doesn't it? What, Sweep? Do Red Indians live
03:41in tents? Well, they're called wigwams actually, Sweep, but yes, they used to live in them.
03:47All the time, yes. Summer and winter, yes, Sweep. Summer and winter. Why? He says he
03:55doesn't want to live in a tent. Actually, come to think of it, neither do I. Bye-bye,
04:00Sooty. Yee-haw! Howdy, partners! Impressive, eh? Actually, this is a fancy dress. I got
04:09it from the shop down the road, because I'm going to a party next week. Yee-haw, I'm
04:13down my britches! It is tricky being a cowboy sometimes, but I tell you what, the one thing
04:19that you do need to be a cowboy, which I have definitely got, you need to be fearless.
04:24And that's me. I am the Corbett Kid, and I am fearless, totally fearless. Boo! Get
04:29out! Oh! Oh, sorry, Matthew. Did we frighten you? Of course you didn't. Actually, you lot
04:33want to be careful creeping up on me like that, otherwise it's, uh, it may be the worst
04:38for you. Oh, what's that horrible thing for? Why, ma'am, this here is my shooting iron,
04:42and this here is the best shooting iron, this side of Cactus Creek. What? You've got a better
04:48shooting iron, have you? He wants to be careful messing with the Corbett Kid like that, because
04:53I am fearless, totally fearless. Totally wet, but totally fearless. Oh, dear, does this
05:00mean your shooting iron will go rusty? No, it won't, actually, Sue, because it's plastic.
05:04Oh. Isn't it real? Of course it's not real, Sweep. Actually, I think we'll do without it.
05:09I don't like guns of any sort. So, um, right. Right. Now, how do we play this cowboys and
05:16Indians game? Ah, yes, yes. Well, first you've got to decide exactly who you are, cowboys
05:20or Indians. Which are you? Well, uh, we've decided to be knights of the round table,
05:23provided that they don't eat beans or sleep in tents. Knights of the round table? Hmm. You're
05:28in the wrong game. That's the wrong game. You can't be knights of the round table. Oh, all right,
05:32then I'll be a cowboy. So will you. So will you. But I'm a... That means four cowboys. Oh,
05:40never mind. All right, we'll all be cowboys. Sue, you can be Diamond Lil. Right. Sweep,
05:44you can be, uh, the dog, Deputy Dog, all right? And Sutty, you can be the sheriff, and I'm the
05:48Corbett Kid, okay? Right. Now what? Well, that's who you are, okay? And I'm the Corbett Kid,
05:54and I just rolled into town. So up I come and I say, howdy, partners! Come on, you say that
06:01back to me. Howdy, partners! Howdy, partners! Uh, a bit louder. Howdy, partners! Howdy,
06:07partners! It's a belter of a game, isn't it? You can play as well. Howdy, partners! It's good,
06:13isn't it? Yee-haw! Dang my britches! You can dang your own britches, Matthew. What? What
06:19happens now? Well, uh, nothing, actually. That's it. That's it? That's it? Is that how you used to
06:26play cowboys and Indians for hours on end? Yeah. Yes, it is that. Yeah, yeah. Do you think this
06:31is how real cowboys behaved, Matthew? Well, yessiree, ma'am. What? They went rushing round
06:36the place, dashing up to each other and shouting, howdy, partners, and then grinning like a Cheshire
06:40cat for hour upon hour. Yep. Mind you, that's not all they did. As a matter of fact, if you want to
06:45be a real cowboy, of course, we're in the wrong place here. You really need to be way out west.
06:51And I can't go way out west because, uh, in order to do that, you need horsepower. And I haven't got
06:57any horsepower. What is it, Sooty? What, you're kidding? Real horsepower? Oh, it's fantastic! Hey,
07:03Sooty says that he's gonna give some horsepower to me. I wonder what sort of horse he's gonna
07:07supply. I wonder if it'll be a brown one or a white one or a palomino, but it really doesn't
07:12matter because I've got myself some horsepower. Yee-haw! Howdy, partners! Howdy, partners! Listen,
07:19you two critters stay here and guard the ranch. I'm gonna see about this horsepower. Come on,
07:25come and join us. Okay. Yee-haw! Come on. Oh, you, you hear you've beaten me. Well, the horsepower,
07:33horsepower. Oh, no, look at this. When I said horsepower, I had in mind the four-legged sort
07:40that eats straw, not four wheels and an engine. This is the horsepower that Sooty's talking about.
07:44He's playing a trick on me. Just you wait until I see him. What's that, Sooty's super cartoon?
07:49Sooty, where are you? Sooty? No, you can never find him when you're... Sooty, where are you?
07:53There you are. What is the meaning of this cartoon thing? You want to service my van? No,
07:58it's quite all right, thank you. You can find lots of faults. I don't want you to find any faults.
08:02You check the door. Sooty, please, no, please, please don't, don't do that. Sooty, don't check
08:07the door. There's nothing whatso... The door's fallen off. Yes, I can see that the door's
08:13fallen off. You're gonna check the wheels? No, no, no, no, no, I don't... Please, Sooty,
08:17please don't check the wheels. I don't want... The wheels have fallen off. I know the wheels
08:26have fallen off. Don't check... You're gonna check the headlights? No, no, no, no, no,
08:30oh, please. It's like talking to a brick wall. Sooty, the headlamps do not want you...
08:37Am I pleased you found all these faults? Oh, I'm delighted. I am delighted.
08:43The letters have dropped off. I know the letters... You're gonna check the engine? No,
08:49no, no, no, don't do that. I'm just going to check the engine. Sooty, please, don't check the
08:53engine. What's with that noise? He's inside here. Sooty, will you come out of the engine,
08:58please? Come on. He's over here. Sooty, would you... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, got a bumper
09:04on the boot. Oh, dear, that head... Oi! Oh, no, look at that. That's a clutch pedal. You ruined
09:10it. Oh, no, look at that as well. You know what he's done, don't you? My car is ruined,
09:16completely ruined. Oh, look at that horrible thing. Indian drums. There's trouble back at
09:30the ranch. Come on, I'm gonna save them. Sue, come here. Are you all right? I heard the Indian
09:36drums and I couldn't... Oh, look, it's an Indian, an Indian, an Indian... That's not an Indian,
09:42that's Connie Crichton. Hey, just a minute, not so much of the Connie. I'm a big Indian chief.
09:48Heap big Indian chief. No, you are right. Actually, it is Connie. I thought it was. I just
09:54picked this outfit up from the fancy dress shop. Do you like it? It's brilliant. I'm going to that
09:58party next week, you know. Same one as me. Yeah, yeah, and I love cowboys and Indians too. Oh,
10:02yeah. Well, to be honest with you, Connie, we're a bit bored. Cowboys and Indians don't seem to
10:07have much to do. Nonsense. Now, I've got a story about cowboys and Indians here. I could read it
10:12and you could do all the sound effects, all the noises. Right. Now, the first you've got to do is
10:17to decide whether you're going to be a cowboy or an Indian. Oh, I'll be an Indian if it'll help
10:21you, Connie. That'd be marvellous. And so will you. Right, Sweep and Sue are going to be Indians
10:25and Suzy and I'll be cowboys. And what about all the boys and girls at home? You could join in as
10:29well. Okay. Right. Now, you know what Indians do when they're on the warpath? A war cry.
10:38Cowboys go, yippee! Yippee!
10:43Now, we need some cattle noises, so we all have to be cows and bulls. Yeah. And what about the
10:48mums and dads at home? Yeah, come on, everybody. No! No! Now, what else? Oh, now there's some
10:56galloping noises in this story. Could we do galloping noises on here? Yes, okay. Let's
11:00everybody gallop. Yeah, that's good. That's great. Now, let's have the story. I can't wait
11:05any longer. Right, here we go. One morning, when the sun was rising over the moo cow corral,
11:14a group of men were getting ready for a very busy day. Who were they? They were
11:18the cowboys! Yee-haw! Meanwhile, over the hill, preparing for a very different sort of day,
11:26are the Indians. Terrible, that. Cowboys are going to round up the cattle.
11:34Indians are putting on their war print.
11:39The cowboys leapt on their horses. Come on, and they galloped down the trail.
11:44It wasn't long before they spotted the cattle.
11:48But suddenly, over the hill, come the Indians!
11:52Whoo!
11:53They're galloping down the hillside. Come on, Sue, galloping, galloping.
11:57Now, the Indians fired their arrows.
12:00The noise is like that, a tickle, too.
12:03Now you look at that. Oh, cowboys fire your guns in the air. Bang, bang, bang.
12:09There was no one. The cattle are getting excited as well.
12:12On est arrivés à l'île des moutons!
12:14Et d'un coup, ils étaient face à face.
12:16Tout le monde s'étouffait.
12:19Vous pouviez entendre un coup de clavier.
12:23Ah, c'était la nuit!
12:27C'était à l'hiver!
12:29C'était le temps de manger.
12:30C'était le temps des cow-boys,
12:31et des cow-boys,
12:32et des cow-boys,
12:33et des cow-boys,
12:34et des cow-boys,
12:35et des cow-boys,
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13:50et des cow-boys,
13:51et des cow-boys,
13:52and cow-boys,
13:53and cow-boys,
13:54and cow-boys,
13:55and cow-boys,
13:56and cow-boys,
13:57and cow-boys,
13:58and cow-boys,
13:59and cow-boys,
14:00and cow-boys,
14:01and cow-boys,
14:02and cow-boys,
14:03and cow-boys,
14:04and cow-boys,
14:05and cow-boys,
14:06and cow-boys,
14:07It's a pig.
14:08It's a pig.
14:09It's a girl.
14:11It's a girl.
14:13Well, we're in the right place
14:15and we've all got musical instruments so let's have some cow-boy rock and Indian roll
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