Philosopher Stefan Molyneux reads a listener's question and breaks it down:
"It’s Father’s Day. Does a sperm and money donor count?
"I once had a wife and two daughters. My younger daughter died of cancer at fourteen. During her illness, the three girls (mother and daughters) ran away. I had no clue they would do such a thing other than that I knew they were hostile to me, or, more accurately, their mother was determined to get rid of me and have total control over "her" ill daughter, who she was convinced she could save. She alienated her daughters from their father (me) by crying to them and pretending all was okay to me, other than the real problem of a dying child, her favorite. My reality and existence were abuse to them! The trist was between my ex-wife and younger daughter, since her birth. I was an outsider.
"I was served divorce papers a week after our daughter died, with false accusations of sexual abuse (never, and never violent). The house was sold, the assets split, and most of my remaining assets were transferred by force of law for my fifteen-year-old daughter's education and life. I never saw her again because the feminized “family” court allowed her to choose not to see her father, the cause of her poor crying mother's unhappiness. The court denied my rights. I paid for her life and university education but never saw her, her mother, or money again. My mother, sister, and friends were shut off from contact or communication. I could do nothing to protect my daughter. Any attempt to contact would have instigated police action.
"After ten years, when my mother was dying, I left a phone message for my daughter about the situation. I lived fifty miles away. Soon, the police turned up to serve a restraining order and “remove my guns and ammo” (I had none). I fought the restraining order in court, so one was never issued (amazing), but that was the end of my longing for fatherhood.
"I wonder if my ex-wife ever feels any remorse for her lies, deceit, betrayal, and emotional violence against me (and her daughters). I suspect she feels sanctimoniously virtuous and justified that she is a "good mother protecting her daughter”… on anti-depressants! Are there ever any consequences for mothers who alienate their children from their fathers? I don’t know of any adult that would dare to confront her.
"At least I was liberated from a miserable marriage and family. I now have a wonderful life with an intelligent and kind woman who pampers and spoils me every day, not just on Father’s Day."
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
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https://freedom
"It’s Father’s Day. Does a sperm and money donor count?
"I once had a wife and two daughters. My younger daughter died of cancer at fourteen. During her illness, the three girls (mother and daughters) ran away. I had no clue they would do such a thing other than that I knew they were hostile to me, or, more accurately, their mother was determined to get rid of me and have total control over "her" ill daughter, who she was convinced she could save. She alienated her daughters from their father (me) by crying to them and pretending all was okay to me, other than the real problem of a dying child, her favorite. My reality and existence were abuse to them! The trist was between my ex-wife and younger daughter, since her birth. I was an outsider.
"I was served divorce papers a week after our daughter died, with false accusations of sexual abuse (never, and never violent). The house was sold, the assets split, and most of my remaining assets were transferred by force of law for my fifteen-year-old daughter's education and life. I never saw her again because the feminized “family” court allowed her to choose not to see her father, the cause of her poor crying mother's unhappiness. The court denied my rights. I paid for her life and university education but never saw her, her mother, or money again. My mother, sister, and friends were shut off from contact or communication. I could do nothing to protect my daughter. Any attempt to contact would have instigated police action.
"After ten years, when my mother was dying, I left a phone message for my daughter about the situation. I lived fifty miles away. Soon, the police turned up to serve a restraining order and “remove my guns and ammo” (I had none). I fought the restraining order in court, so one was never issued (amazing), but that was the end of my longing for fatherhood.
"I wonder if my ex-wife ever feels any remorse for her lies, deceit, betrayal, and emotional violence against me (and her daughters). I suspect she feels sanctimoniously virtuous and justified that she is a "good mother protecting her daughter”… on anti-depressants! Are there ever any consequences for mothers who alienate their children from their fathers? I don’t know of any adult that would dare to confront her.
"At least I was liberated from a miserable marriage and family. I now have a wonderful life with an intelligent and kind woman who pampers and spoils me every day, not just on Father’s Day."
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!
Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedom
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Good morning everybody, Stephen Molyneux out for a lovely walk in nature with our death
00:08crows above and our philosophy down below.
00:14So question, yesterday was Father's Day, freedomain.com slash oned, if you'd like to help out.
00:22Hopefully they don't think I'm going to stumble and die, that's why they're gathering above.
00:26All right, it's Father's Day.
00:28Because a sperm and money don't account, asks a listener.
00:32I once had a wife and two daughters.
00:34My younger daughter died of cancer at 14 during her illness.
00:38The three girls, mother and daughters, ran away.
00:42I had no clue they would do such a thing other than that I know they were hostile to me or
00:46more accurately their mother was determined to get rid of me and have total control over
00:50her ill daughter who she was convinced she could save.
00:58She alienated her daughters from their father, me, by crying to them and pretending all was
01:01okay to me other than the real problem of a dying child, her favorite.
01:07My reality and existence were about abuse to them.
01:10The tryst was between my ex-wife and younger daughter since her birth.
01:15I was an outsider.
01:17I was served divorce papers a week after our daughter died with false accusations of sexual
01:23abuse, never, and never violent.
01:26The house was sold, the assets split, and most of my remaining assets were transferred
01:31by force of law for my 15-year-old daughter's education and life.
01:39I never saw her again because the feminized family courts allowed her to choose not to
01:44see her father, the cause of her poor crying mother's unhappiness.
01:48The court denied my rights.
01:51I paid for her life and university education but never saw her, her mother, or money again.
01:58My mother, sister, and friends were shut off from contact or communication.
02:02I could not do anything to protect my daughter.
02:04Any attempt to contact would have instigated police action.
02:07After 10 years when my mother was dying, I left a phone message for my daughter about
02:10the situation.
02:12I lived about 50 miles away.
02:13Soon the police turned up to serve a restraining order and removed my guns and ammo.
02:17I had none.
02:18I fought the restraining order in court, so one was never issued, amazing, but that was
02:22the end of my longing for fatherhood.
02:25I wonder if my ex-wife ever feels any remorse for her lies, deceit, betrayal, and emotional
02:30violence against me and her daughters.
02:32I suspect she feels sanctimoniously virtuous and justified that she is a good mother protecting
02:36her daughter on antidepressants.
02:38Are there ever any consequences for mothers who alienate their children from their fathers?
02:42I don't know of any adult that would dare to confront her.
02:46At least I was liberated from a miserable marriage and family.
02:49I now have a wonderful life with an intelligent and kind woman who pampers and swallows me
02:52every day, not just on Father's Day.
02:54Yes, it's a very, very sad story.
02:59And I'm sorry, of course, that this happened to you.
03:07And you focus only on the wrongs.
03:14You're not going to like me, but nonetheless, we aim for truth, not for popularity.
03:21And the truth, as I see it, is that you chose to have children, multiple children, by what
03:34you describe as a dangerously evil and destructive woman.
03:39You chose that.
03:43Nobody forced you to date her.
03:45Nobody forced you to get engaged to her.
03:46Nobody forced you to marry her.
03:48Nobody forced you to give her children.
03:52You chose to do that.
03:57So the question is, and it's a tough question because, man, I sympathize, and it's not like
04:02I'm any fan of the status family quo, so I mean, I understand all of that.
04:08So along with the sympathy, though, is sort of the grim Don Corleone witch-slapping of,
04:15what the hell were you thinking?
04:17Getting married and having children was such a monster.
04:22Who delivered her the children?
04:23You delivered her the children.
04:28You delivered her the children.
04:33And crying, and again, I don't mean to sound harsh, and I do sympathize, but crying on
04:41the internet that you're hurt and you're suffering when you gave multiple children to this horrible
04:51woman, I don't quite understand it.
04:56Like I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I get the right number.
04:59They're two daughters.
05:01Yeah, and again, I'm incredibly sorry for your daughter and the cancer.
05:04I mean, this is all just awful, awful, awful stuff.
05:07Absolutely.
05:09But why did your wife have control over these children?
05:16Because you decided to impregnate her multiple times.
05:24You gave your wife power over children by giving her children, by impregnating her.
05:32Now, the question always is this.
05:42What signs were there beforehand?
05:47What signs were there ahead of time that this was an evil woman?
05:57That all was the tough thing, right?
06:03Pretending you are only a victim.
06:06Are you a victim?
06:07Yes, absolutely.
06:08Are you only a victim?
06:11No, absolutely not.
06:14You're an adult, you had a choice.
06:17You had a choice.
06:23You gave this monstrous female children.
06:33Are you only a victim?
06:34The problem is we get relief by saying we're a victim and we feel self-pity and we feel
06:44heart done by and are you heart done by?
06:46Absolutely.
06:48Were you victimized?
06:49Absolutely.
06:50Are you only a victim?
06:52Absolutely not.
06:54Look, a five-year-old kid being beaten up is a victim.
07:00No choice, no options, never voluntarily decided to enter that situation, has no practical
07:07capacity to leave.
07:09That, my friend, is a genuine victim.
07:14You are not in the same category, so the problem is, of course, that when you cry about how
07:23badly you were treated and you were treated badly and you don't take ownership for getting
07:30yourself in that situation, what happens is you poison your culture.
07:40You poison your culture because you are saying to people, this random, awful, terrible, godforsaken
07:52thing can happen to you just like it happened to me.
07:58There are no warning signs, there are no telltale indications, you can't possibly know ahead
08:06of time bad things will happen to you in the realm of marriage and it's completely
08:12random.
08:13I had this terrible wife, now I have this wonderful wife, it's all so random.
08:22Well that is paralyzing the young men and the young women, but mostly the young men,
08:29in your society, right?
08:36You are poisoning the well of marriage for the young men of your society in order to
08:49avoid your own responsibility, right?
08:54You follow that, right?
08:55This is desperately bad.
08:57I publicly, and I'm sure you have talked about this story countless times in private, online,
09:02in public, you name it, and what has happened?
09:05Well, you have terrified men into avoiding women and avoiding marriage, right?
09:17That's what you have done.
09:19Now, you haven't said, here are the terrible things that happened to me and here are the
09:27warning signs I ignored, right?
09:33Here are the terrible things that happened to me and here are the warning signs that
09:37I ignored.
09:42Now then, you are helping young men.
09:46You are helping young men avoid the desperate situation that you ended up in.
09:54Now that is being a responsible elder of the tribe, saying terrible things happened
10:04to me and I had absolutely nothing to do with them.
10:08There was no way ahead of figuring these things out.
10:13I was mistreated all up and down the planet and I'm a complete victim, is doing great
10:27harm to young men.
10:32It's doing great harm to young men.
10:40You are shoring up your own sense of self-righteousness and the avoidance of responsibility by sacrificing
10:49the wisdom and knowledge you could pass to young men in order to avoid the situation.
10:55Look, young men are going to have sex with dangerous women.
11:01Young men are going to have sex with women.
11:04Now that's a fact.
11:06This tale won't really scare off anyone because, as we all know, the hormones, the lust, the
11:13desire is just too strong.
11:16So young men are going to have sex with women.
11:21Some of that sex is going to be procreative.
11:25That's a fact.
11:29So what does your story communicate to young men?
11:35It communicates that, hey man, you can go for a walk in the woods, but I'm telling you,
11:43I'm telling you brothers, there are random landmines scattered throughout the trails
11:50and you can lose both legs and bleed out in an instant, all right?
12:00There are random dangers.
12:02A woman can just change and turn on you and reveal herself to be a monstrous witch.
12:09And this can happen to you.
12:12It's like the convention of crows here.
12:15A murder of crows, I dare say.
12:20Now, what else could you do with your story?
12:28You can say, here are the signs I failed to heed and here is the punishment I received.
12:38Here are the signs I failed to heed and here is the punishment I received.
12:42Repeat it after me.
12:44Here are the signs I failed to heed and here is the punishment I received.
12:56Now, what that would do is it would make it more painful for you to look at your own
13:01complicity in delivering these children, now this child, to your wife, right?
13:10Why did you choose her, right?
13:13Why did you choose her?
13:14Why did you choose that woman to have children with?
13:26A lot of crows.
13:27Why did you choose this woman to have children with?
13:29It certainly wasn't because of the quality of her character, right?
13:32That we can accept.
13:34It had nothing to do with the quality of her character because if, you know, she's as horrible
13:41as you say, and all I have is your science, I'm just going to go with that.
13:45She's as horrible as you say, so she's a total monster and you went through a very dangerous
13:55situation that could have resulted in years of jail time and like just monstrous, absolutely
14:00monstrous.
14:01So, why did you choose her, right?
14:06We all know, right?
14:07We know.
14:08She was pretty.
14:09You chose her because she was pretty and she was hot and you didn't care about her character
14:13and you didn't care about her history and you didn't care about her childhood.
14:18You only cared about her tits and ass.
14:20I mean, there can't be any other reason to choose to have children with such a woman.
14:28What other possible reason could there be?
14:32So you chose her out of lust and you committed a sin, which is you chose a woman for her
14:42body, not her character.
14:46You chose a woman for her flesh, not her mind, her virtues, her soul, her empathy, her sensitivity,
14:56her strength, her virtue.
15:02When you sin, you pay a price and all you want to do is you want to talk about the price,
15:11which I sympathize with.
15:13Listen, if you were a smoker and you'd smoked two packs a day for 40 years and you were
15:18writing to me saying, I'm facing lung cancer, it's a long, horrible, slow, painful, expensive
15:24death, I would have sympathy for you, although you brought it on yourself by smoking two
15:28packs a day for 40 years.
15:30I would still have sympathy for you, but let's not pretend that what happened to you was
15:36inflicted upon you by physics, the gods, fates, laws, or the government.
15:42You chose this.
15:46You say, well, but I didn't choose these consequences.
15:52But if you marry a woman who is petty, selfish, narcissistic, vengeful, immoral, false, destructive,
16:02and abusive, if you choose to date her, get engaged to her, marry her, give her multiple
16:09children, and then say, but I didn't choose any of the negative consequences of that,
16:19then I'm not sure what to say to you.
16:23Almost this is like saying, well, I chose to jump off a cliff, but you can't blame me
16:27for falling, and I'm not blaming you.
16:31I'm just saying that the great temptation of lust, greed, right?
16:41Greed for the hot girl, greed for status, greed for whatever it was that had you marry
16:45this woman, greed leads to another great sin.
16:57And I don't think it's a formal sin, but it certainly is a sin in the realm of philosophy.
17:04And that sin is self-abandonment.
17:09You learned a horrible, hard lesson, for which I have great and deep sympathy.
17:18And what's the best thing that you can get out of that lesson?
17:24What is the best thing you can get out of that lesson?
17:28Can you get your relationship with your daughter back?
17:30No, almost certainly not.
17:34But you can stop falsifying what happened to justify yourself and thus poison the culture
17:45and minds of young men.
17:48You can do that.
17:49You can start telling the truth about what went down.
17:53What went down?
17:54You met this girl, she was really pretty, you didn't judge her character, you didn't
18:00judge her virtues, you just wanted to have sex with her.
18:06So you sinned.
18:07And that's, you know, it happens.
18:10It happens.
18:14But the sin that you did in the past, decades ago, should not be compounded by the sin now
18:21of bearing false witness.
18:25If you're going to tell me, and some people do give this a shot, but I don't believe it,
18:31and never will believe it, and I certainly have hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations
18:36where people were saying, well, a terrible thing happened to me because of someone, and
18:39I say, well, what were the signs?
18:40And they say, well, there weren't any.
18:42And then I ask them for what the signs, and they say, oh, well, there were these 10 signs,
18:46right?
18:47She had a bad relationship with her dad, she blamed other people, her friends were trash,
18:51she had tattoos, she had promiscuity, she had a prior drug addiction, she had a conviction,
18:56she forgot about everything, she fought with me all the time, she ignored any responsibility,
19:03she never apologized, she always blamed me for every problem in the relationship, right?
19:10From day one.
19:13From day one.
19:16From day one.
19:20And I sympathize with that.
19:22Lust is a very powerful thing.
19:23That's the reason we have to have pretty strict ideas regarding sin, because lust is a very
19:30powerful thing.
19:33The animal often wants to overtake the angel.
19:38The ape versus the angel.
19:40A story as old as time.
19:46And I sympathize.
19:48And because I sympathize with you, I want you to take responsibility.
19:53Now, if you say to me there were no signs, she was a perfect angel, and then she just
19:58turned kind of crazy, and so on, you say, oh, well, it's because my daughter got sick.
20:05Well, again, terrible tragedy, massive sympathies, but that does not make people turn evil.
20:13Right?
20:14I had cancer.
20:15I still have effects from treatment.
20:16I had cancer.
20:17Did I turn evil?
20:18Nope.
20:19Did the people around me turn evil?
20:20Nope.
20:21So, that's it.
20:22Thank you.
20:23Bye.
20:24Bye.
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