In this discussion, I explore a woman's belief regarding what successful men seek in a partner, emphasizing the importance of understanding men's innate desire for a suitable mother for their children. Instead of seeking a simplistic partner, men aim to find someone who can effectively nurture and raise their offspring. Choosing a life partner involves complementarity rather than identical traits, with men valuing a partner who prioritizes family and shares similar values for successful child-rearing. The focus is on passing down values and virtues to the next generation, creating a meaningful legacy through dedicated and intentional parenting.
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Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
NOW AVAILABLE FOR SUBSCRIBERS: MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING' - AND THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI AND AUDIOBOOK!
Also get the Truth About the French Revolution, the interactive multi-lingual philosophy AI trained on thousands of hours of my material, private livestreams, premium call in shows, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022
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00:00 So i was just this woman and she's you know i'm beautiful i run my own business and i have to fight all day with my consultants,
00:09 and i'm beautiful and i run my own business and all this right and she's like i took him at the friend of mine and she says well the men the successful men the high value men the high status men they just want to stupid woman like a dumb blonde to come home and to and have a simple life and understand the other right.
00:27 And you know it's just wild to me it's it's a wild thing to me that a woman.
00:34 Can have that women as a whole just have so little idea what men want.
00:38 I mean it's it's just it's it's like a form of of sort of magical superstition stuff that is going on like this is making up.
00:48 Oh to me what is so you know just completely crazy stuff what did the men want that they just want to stupid women they don't want a woman who has boss babe vibe i have masculine energy at work but when i come home i just want to tell us and sex and it's like,
01:03 oh my gosh i mean i don't know how to.
01:06 How to fundamentally okay i mean what.
01:09 Before you ask my what men want you have to ask.
01:15 What are men for right well men are for the making of babies you know that's really.
01:21 What were designed for women are for the making of babies and men are for the making of babies sexual dimorphism.
01:27 For the win so it's to me strange why such a mystery what the men want it's like it's not a mystery at all what what men want.
01:36 If we gonna you know settle down to get married what men want now is not all men and you know the things can go awry and you can get traumatized stuff but what men want.
01:48 Is a good mother for their children that's what we want we want a good mother for our children that's what we want.
01:55 I mean otherwise you just playing house your roommates you know whatever like you can get married marriages for children and yes you can get married.
02:03 If you're not gonna have kids that's fine and you can ride a bicycle on the road if but it's built for cars right you just there is an incidental traveler so.
02:12 What do what do men want is such a mystery it's not a mystery we want a good mother for our children and and we have seen what it's like.
02:23 When a family has a mother who's not a good mother to the children like we've seen a mother's we've seen our fathers we've seen the mess we've seen the stress we've seen the problems we've seen that.
02:32 Alienation we've seen the distance we've seen the coldness we've seen that like everything just bad has happened.
02:38 So we've you know we couple of generations into boss babe stuff and it's like so what are you looking for is like women get these fake boobs and put on lots of.
02:49 I lashes and makeup and go to the gym and that's fine i guess what not the fake boobs are too much makeup going to the gym is fine but.
02:56 It's like what the men want is like ok so high quality man like let's say i'm.
03:02 You know this this high quality super duper guy right so i look at a woman like that and is she pretty yes very pretty is she ambitious absolutely successful good for her like congratulations i think that's wonderful i got no problem.
03:15 With the of course women being successful in their chosen careers and that's great you know nothing but nothing but love for all of that.
03:22 So a woman who's that driven who's that ambitious she has multiple degrees she's got the end of the year she got a master's of business administration so she's very driven fantastic you know good for her you know if i wanted to go into business of someone she might be first on the list.
03:36 But that's not what we're looking for.
03:39 He's afraid i will compete with him it's like no no men men thrive on competition we love competition.
03:46 My wife and i compete on who can do the most thoughtful things it's beautiful we love competition trust me men are not afraid of competition.
03:54 But i could send this high quality guy i look at a woman like that and i say ok so we're both gonna be working crazy hours and she's gonna be really wrapped up in her business she's gonna have all of these outside competing interests.
04:08 And she's not gonna be a good mother for the children right so what if i say to her listen.
04:14 We're gonna have kids let's have three kids i'd like you to stay home for ten to twelve years.
04:18 Right.
04:19 Stay home and be a good mom like and really get down on the floor and play with them and take them to the park and read to them and engage with them and you know love them and mother them and so on right.
04:31 Are you going to be a good mother for my children.
04:36 I don't need your money right i mean it's not like i'm short of money as this if i'm this high quality guy don't need your money i don't need your success and i need you.
04:46 To focus on our children now of course before right gonna be my children rights gonna man's gonna think about what's what's a benefit for you so are you gonna be a good mother for my children.
04:58 I am not sure why this is complicated i'm i'm not sure why this is complicated are you so a woman i don't know if it's a funny thing what she says like.
05:08 I am an ambitious man and ambitious driven highly educated successful man once an ambitious driven highly educated successful woman it's like no that would be narcissistic.
05:19 I want someone who's a mirror image of me the only thing i can like and admire is me with boobs and it's like that that's narcissistic.
05:27 Why would any man why would anyone who's a highly successful man why would he want a man with boobs.
05:35 Why it's you know no no hate to our good today friends but you know it's.
05:41 To think that a woman wants a man like that the woman thinks a man is just looking for a man.
05:47 But with a in a woman's body it's like well no because we're looking for something different you know straight man right when we're looking for something different than.
05:55 Us in a female because that would not be particularly heterosexual to put it mildly right.
06:02 So again it does remain just a little tiny bit confusing.
06:10 To figure this stuff out why is this so hard to figure out.
06:16 Why are men attracted to women right why am i attracted to women because we make children right i mean it's how we evolved and you can sort of say all you want about but this is sort of.
06:28 This is how we evolve right this is how we vote we've evolved to.
06:34 Choose good mothers for our children because if we didn't choose good mothers for our children we would not be successful as men.
06:44 Right why does a man become successful.
06:47 A man become successful primarily to provide resources for his children right that's why a man.
06:56 Becomes successful to provide resources for his wife and his children.
07:01 So if the woman is working and providing her own resources then she's not going to be a good mother certainly she won't be as good a mother as she would be if she was home with the children.
07:12 So then what happens is if a man has a woman.
07:18 Who's like a man that ambitious that driven and again it's not it's great that women do that i have no problem women who do that i'm just saying it's not what men want if you're going to get married and have a family.
07:29 So what's gonna happen is the man is going to be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife.
07:39 See that's not that's not appealing to a man right so a man will then be providing resources to a woman like a nanny or some daycare blah blah blah.
07:54 He's then gonna be providing resources to a woman who's not his wife who's going to be raising his children now.
08:00 If when you choose the woman who raises your children you choose the values that your children have right that makes sense right if you if you choose when you choose the woman.
08:13 Who's gonna be the mother of your children you then you choose the values that your children will be exposed to right so if you choose a.
08:23 Catholic woman to raise your children and she raises your children then by golly your children are gonna be raised a catholic right if you choose a.
08:31 Secular woman blah blah blah right so a man is choosing the values that get transmitted to his children when he chooses the mother of.
08:40 Is there children right we we understand this is not overly complicated now if a woman says well i don't wanna raise your children then unfortunately.
08:52 The man is no longer in control of who is raising his children.
08:59 He's no longer in control he's no longer in control of the values.
09:05 That his children are exposed to that form his children his children's minds now that job is outsourced and he has no particular control over what's going to be happening with regards to his children and how they're raised.
09:21 Because now it's some other woman that he's providing resources to say oh well the mother is providing resources as well and all that i get all of that i get all of that.
09:31 But it's just a bad situation as a whole because the man is.
09:39 Providing resources to a woman so that she can transfer his values so she can transfer his values.
09:47 To his children now i mean it's her values too but you choose compatibility of values for this particular reason and purpose right.
09:55 So the purpose of a man success is to transfer values to his children which means that he chooses a wife who shares his.
10:06 Values and then she transfers those values to his children and that's called his legacy.
10:14 I that's his legacy that's what that's what he wants that's what he wants.
10:18 Now if it's a woman who doesn't want to raise his children then he has to get someone else to provide the values.
10:28 For his children and he's no particular control over that i mean i guess if you choose a nanny you have some control over it but the nanny is typically younger doesn't have any life experience and it's really complicated to try and get a nanny to.
10:42 Provide these kinds of values so that's not particularly good if he goes to a daycare then it's really out of his control and so.
10:52 The man who is successful has a particular set of values and an ethos and a way of being in the world and you know the more free market.
11:01 Generally the more virtues you have to be to be successful if you have to be trustworthy if you be honest you have to keep your promises you have to have handshake deals that are as good as as iron.
11:11 And you have to be reliable and they have to be hard working so there's a lot of values that you want to transfer.
11:17 Kids because really what's the point of having all these values in these virtues and being successful what's the point of that.
11:24 If it just turns out that those values don't get transferred to the next generation because you've got some.
11:30 Twenty-year-old opera pair or nanny who doesn't share these values doesn't know how to communicate them or some daycare teacher you know making twelve bucks an hour who can transfer these values so then you're basically preying on the success of the next generation for a couple extra bucks in the here and now this is not what we're looking for.
11:46 We're looking to transfer values and virtues to the next generation and that means having.
11:55 A wife who shares our values who stays home with and educates the children right this is not super complicated right we we can understand all of this i think very very easily right.
12:09 So.
12:10 Then there's no particular purpose or point in having a boss babe woman who's gonna touch your kids in daycare and thus interrupt.
12:20 The flow of wisdom and virtues from you to your kids in other words you're crippling your children by having.
12:28 Another woman who doesn't particularly share your values raise your children.
12:33 That's not that's not something that's successful man want we want to transfer values to the next generation otherwise we crippling them and we're exploiting the next generation by having kids but not transferring our virtues and values.
12:48 To them so we look at the boss babe and you know again i think it's great you know more more power to you good for you well done excellent no problem.
12:58 It's just not what a successful man wants to marry as a whole because his life just get stressful and difficult and the values are transferred to the next generation and he ends up with kids who are kinda alienated.
13:08 Who don't share his values and who have been kind of program by other people into their mindset or no mindset which is often the case.
13:16 And so.
13:18 A man who is successful desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children right.
13:29 He desperately wants a successful woman to raise his children.
13:33 Because if you can't get a successful woman to raise his children then he can transmit the values of success down to his kids now.
13:41 The women who take care of other people's children when they're young those women tend not at all to be particularly successful.
13:51 I'm not saying they're terrible people are you understand but you know i mean i worked in a daycare the women who were daycare teachers i mean unless they were just students passing through in which case you don't have much life experience and can transmit many values.
14:03 But the women who are working there sort of full time they were not successful women because the pay was very low.
14:10 And some woman who's a nanny i a she's a young woman she's a nanny she's not particularly successful because if she was particularly successful should be raising.
14:19 Her own kids or you know having some job or whatever it is so we we we men we want a successful woman.
14:27 To transmit our values now.
14:30 Who's the is but the boss baby is a successful woman yes but she can't transmit our values or productive values to the kids because of course.
14:39 She's working she's taking calls she's dealing with clients she's serving everyone but her children.
14:45 So men we don't we don't want women who serve everyone but her children because then our legacy dies with us and we've been paid for a bunch of other people to raise our kids not transferring our values not transferring our virtues.
14:58 And it's kind of selfish it kind of cripples other kids.
15:02 It cripples our kids in the in a hot pursuit of life's success and goodies so we just looking for someone who's gonna stay home with the kids and transfer value so.
15:12 Now you say i s but but the woman is ambitious and this not the other is like okay so so if the woman is ambitious again that's fine but a really really am like materialistic hard working hard driven entrepreneurial and ambitious women.
15:26 Can not to be people who are gonna be fantastic at raising our children because they're always gonna wanna be working there is gonna be doing something else and.
15:33 And they're gonna be taking calls or they gonna be frustrated or they gonna be.
15:37 You know looking at everybody else's successful linkedin profiles and getting frustrated that they're just home and they just wouldn't be it's not particularly compatible it's just it's just not particularly compatible and it's not particularly good and.
15:49 So the boss babes if you say i want you to stay home for ten to twelve years to raise the children and you know maybe longer if we home school she's not gonna wanna do that and again i have no problem with that that's totally fine.
16:00 But then the man can't have a legacy right the man does not have a legacy it can't have a legacy.
16:11 Right and if you can have a legacy then what's the point of it what you working for is he working with you working for a man who is successful tend to have worked very hard to become successful.
16:21 They've sacrifice a lot they got a lot of education they've done business travel which is less fun than it seems after a while they've.
16:27 Dave they've got a lot of education they've taken continuing courses they've been working you know sixty seventy eighty hours a week what's for what for the next generation for kids are all that so.
16:38 I maybe this is confusing for people i'm not exactly sure why but.
16:44 Men and women are different and a man who's very successful once a woman who's gonna transmit his values virtues and legacies.
16:51 To his children so he has a reason to work otherwise it just gets kinda hedonistic pointless empty and boring and useless and.
17:01 Stressful and who wants that nobody wants that nobody wants that i hope this helps thanks a lot let let me know your thoughts talk to you soon bye.