Helpmates 1932
Transcript
00:00♪
00:08♪
00:20♪
00:38♪
00:59Hmm, hmm, hmm.
01:03Now aren't you ashamed of yourself?
01:07A man with your supposed intelligence
01:09acting like an empty-headed idiot.
01:14What did you do?
01:15I'll tell you what you did.
01:17You took advantage of your wife's absence
01:20and pulled a wild party.
01:23And that's not all.
01:25You lost all of your ready money in a poker game.
01:32Could anything be more crass,
01:35more disgusting?
01:39There are times when I had high hopes for you,
01:42but that time is past.
01:46I'll tell you what's wrong with you in two words.
01:51Impossible.
01:53Hmm.
01:56Oh.
01:57Hmm.
02:00Oh.
02:02Oh.
02:04Oh.
02:06Oh.
02:08Oh.
02:09Oh.
02:14Mr. Hardy?
02:15Yes?
02:16Here's a telegram for you.
02:25I wonder what this can be.
02:28A telegram for your wife. She says she'll be home at noon today.
02:35Oh, the house!
02:52Aptos 8080, please.
02:58Aptos 8080, please.
03:28Aptos 8080, please.
03:59Hello?
04:14Hello?
04:15Where have you been?
04:17I was here with me.
04:20Why weren't you over to the party last night?
04:23I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog.
04:26You were what?
04:28A dog bit me.
04:30I can't understand you. Spell it.
04:32A dog bit me.
04:34B-I-T-M-E.
04:40Where?
04:44There.
04:46And they took me to the hospital.
04:49Get closer to the phone. I can't understand you.
04:52I said that...
04:57I said that...
05:00They took me to the hospital.
05:02Was it serious?
05:04Yeah. The doctor said I might get hydrophosphates.
05:09Hydrophosphates?
05:11You mean hydrophobia.
05:15Say, what are you doing?
05:17What are you doing?
05:20I'm talking to you. What do you think I'm doing?
05:23I'm talking to you. What do you think I'm doing?
05:26I know you're talking to me.
05:29Say, come on over. I want to see you.
05:31And make it snappy.
05:33Cutie.
05:35Hydrophosphates.
05:54What do you want?
05:56Listen, I'm in a slight predicament.
05:58My wife's coming home today at noon, unexpectedly.
06:01And look at this house.
06:09What's the matter with it?
06:11What's the matter with it?
06:13You never met my wife, did you?
06:15Yes, I never did.
06:17What do you mean, yes, I never did?
06:20What do you mean, yes, I never did?
06:24That's my wife.
06:29Isn't she sweet?
06:31Charming.
06:33Where is your wife?
06:35She's in Chicago with her mother.
06:37Is she having a nice time?
06:39Sure she's having a nice time. She's been gone for more than a week.
06:41I don't care whether she's having a nice time or not.
06:44What I mean is, if she comes home and sees this house like this,
06:47she'll know that I've been having a wild party.
06:50I've never known it to fail.
06:52What?
06:54When the mice are away,
06:56the cats are always playing around with things
06:59and doing something.
07:04If the mice...
07:06I want you to help me clean this house.
07:08I'd do the same for you.
07:10No, you wouldn't.
07:12Yes, I would.
07:14Oh, no, you wouldn't.
07:16Because I'm not going to get married.
07:23Will you help me or will you not?
07:26Sure I'll help you. What do you want me to do first?
07:29Now, that's the spirit.
07:32Now, you wash the dirty dishes while I go in and get dressed.
07:35Then after that, we'll have a nice breakfast,
07:38put everything in order so that the wife will suspect nothing.
07:41Will we have marmalade for breakfast?
07:43Yes, we'll have marmalade for breakfast.
07:45Then we'll put our shoulder to the wheels,
07:47grab the bulb of the horns,
07:49and put our best foot forward.
07:52No!
08:16Mmm...
08:18Mmm...
08:21Mmm...
08:27Oh!
08:45Oh!
08:57Clean that mess up while I get something to put it in.
09:02Look out!
09:15Look out!
09:45Get me a towel.
09:47Where do you keep them?
09:49I don't know. Look in the cupboard.
09:55Wait. I'll get it.
09:59Shoot!
10:03Oh!
10:05Oh!
10:07Oh!
10:09Oh!
10:11Oh!
10:13Oh!
10:24Oh!
10:26Oh!
10:28Oh!
10:44Ollie?
10:46What?
10:48Where do you keep your handkerchiefs?
10:50In the top drawer.
11:13Oh!
11:37Oh!
11:39Oh!
11:42Oh!
11:48What are you trying to do?
11:50I'm trying to get rid of this water.
11:52What'll I do with it?
11:54Oh! Use your own judgment!
11:56Oh!
12:12Are you trying to ruin the only suit I've got left?
12:15I couldn't help it.
12:17Oh, shut up!
12:30That's the way to do it.
12:42Oh!
12:52How about some breakfast?
12:56Breakfast work!
13:12See what you did?
13:14You can't blame me for that.
13:23Do you realize that this is the only suit that I've got left?
13:27It's enough to make a man burst out crying.
13:31I couldn't help it. I was doing the best I could.
13:33Shut up and get this mess cleaned up.
13:36Do you know that my wife will be home at noon?
13:39Say, what do you think I am, Cinderella?
13:42If I had any sense, I'd walk out on you.
13:44Well, it's a good thing you haven't any sense.
13:47It certainly is.
14:10If I had any sense, I'd walk out on you.
14:14It's a good thing you haven't any.
14:16Aye, certainly.
14:31If I had any sense...
14:39I'll take these pants and wring them out while I dry the coat.
14:52Move!
15:09Move!
15:35I'll dry them myself.
15:39I'll dry them myself.
16:09I'll dry them myself.
16:39Hello.
16:41Don't you yell at me. I'm not deaf.
16:44Oh, hello, honey baby.
16:47Where are you?
16:49Where am I? I'm down here at the railroad station.
16:51And if I stay here much longer, they'll put me in the roundhouse.
16:56What's the matter?
16:58Oh, get my suit quick. It's the wife. She's waiting at the depot.
17:01Oh.
17:03Oh.
17:05Oh.
17:08Oh!
17:10That's all I've got. The only suit I've got.
17:13What'll you do now?
17:15I have it.
17:17Get this place cleaned up and don't ask questions.
17:20Hurry as quick as you can.
17:23What's the matter?
17:25Oh.
17:27Oh.
17:29Oh.
17:31Oh.
17:33Oh.
17:35Oh.
17:37Oh.
17:39Oh.
17:41Oh.
17:43Oh.
17:45Oh.
17:47Oh.
17:49Oh.
17:52You're not going like that, are you?
17:54Certainly. Why?
17:56Well, you haven't got a horse.
17:58I don't need a horse. I've been out there...
18:00Oh, don't answer it. It's the wife.
18:03Get yourself cleaned up and get out of here quick.
18:05I'll see you tonight.
18:21Oh.
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18:25Oh.
18:27Oh.
18:29Oh.
18:31Oh.
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18:35Oh.
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18:59Oh.
19:01Oh.
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19:13Oh.
19:15Oh.
19:17Oh.
19:48Oh.
19:53Oh.
19:55Oh.
19:57Oh.
19:59Oh.
20:01Oh.
20:03Oh.
20:09Oh.
20:11I don't know what to do about it, I can't...
20:17Well, I guess there's nothing else I can do.
20:20No, I guess not.
20:22Well, I'll be seeing you.
20:25Goodbye.
20:30Hey!
20:34Would you mind closing the door?
20:36I'd like to be alone.
20:41THE END
21:11Thank you for watching!