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Amusant
Transcription
00:00 [Music]
00:04 Well, let's recap a third time for the earth-hungry.
00:06 To die, you have to stop breathing.
00:08 And there are many contexts that can lead to a respiratory arrest.
00:11 Like, for example, getting hit by a car in the subway.
00:13 Tattoo a cross on the forehead and walk in the 9-4.
00:15 Try to make love without a hood on a train on the way.
00:18 Go to the bakery and buy a baguette of Pins and C4,
00:20 accompanied by a juice of pomegranate to make it all go away.
00:23 Want to go to the toilet in the plane and make a mistake.
00:25 Or make a little sleep in the same plane while you're sleepy.
00:27 Mix a mint pastille with a javelin pastille.
00:30 Finish eating, drink a little coffee and brush your teeth with uniclonivir.
00:33 Stick a nail in a wall, except that the wall is your head and the nail is a 9mm bullet.
00:37 But there are also various ways to die during various annual holidays.
00:41 Like, for example, plug a Christmas garland directly in your ass.
00:44 Tell your girlfriend she's fat as a gift for Valentine's Day.
00:47 Stick a Halloween pumpkin directly in your ass.
00:49 Prepare a birthday cake and replace the flour with heroin.
00:52 Prepare a Galette des Rois and replace the bean with a pot of heroin.
00:55 Forget to buy Easter eggs and hide your balls in the garden.
00:58 Get drunk on New Year's Eve and go jet skiing.
01:00 Make a firework for the national holiday directly in your ass.
01:03 Make sperm crêpes for the Chandler and forget to turn off the gas.
01:06 Play a flute concerto for the music festival by blowing into a cobra.
01:10 But you can also die while taking a superhero.
01:12 Like going to hug the sun to recharge like Superman.
01:15 Take Aquaman and ask a shark for the direction of the nearest station.
01:18 Jump off the roof of a building shouting "Shazam!".
01:20 Jump off the roof of a building and make metal signs with your fingers.
01:23 Run at the speed of light and take a school bus.
01:25 Pretend to be a judge by forgetting that you're fighting like a 2010s asthmatic.
01:29 Build Iron Man's armor and get caught by the laws of physics.
01:32 Believe you're the king of Wakanda and have colon cancer.
01:35 Say you're the new god of thunder and fuck your balls to prove it.
01:38 Create a space-time portal that leads you directly to hell.
01:41 But what's good too is that each era has its lot of crazy funerals.
01:44 Like in the Middle Ages, you could die of a simple rupture.
01:46 Want to get your laces and stick them directly on the iron throne.
01:49 Use a catapult as a means of transport.
01:51 Rush on the battlefield and stumble on the corpse of your best friend Jacob the Jew.
01:55 Sleep drunk in the street and get gnawed by rats.
01:57 Get poisoned during your own wedding.
01:59 Get stabbed by your slave and fall from a tower.
02:02 Say the earth is round and get burned for witchcraft.
02:04 Go fight a minotaur in pyjamas and get hit by a broom.
02:06 Try swimming the 100-meter crawl with a knight's armor.
02:09 But since humanity is evolving, the future will surely bring new ways to die.
02:12 And that's beautiful.
02:13 Like doing the dab with a laser saber in your hands.
02:15 Make the 5G chip explode in your ass by making you fart.
02:18 Insult your home robot and trigger the machine's lift-up.
02:21 Stop at the space mc-drive and open your window, calmly.
02:24 Insult the new president of the earth, alias Elon Musk.
02:26 Forget about putting fuel in your flying car and fall from the sky.
02:29 Travel through time and get crushed by a dinosaur.
02:31 Kiss your girlfriend, freshly zombified.
02:33 Breathe the last oxygen molecule of a world destroyed by its inhabitants.
02:36 Fuck your mother in the past and suddenly disappear in the future.
02:39 It's true, I'm talking to you.
02:40 There you go, that was 50 ways to die, episode 3.
02:42 If one day we run out of inspiration, we'll surely do an episode 4.
02:45 But in the meantime, you can like the video, share it with your friends who are still alive preferably.
02:50 And go check out our Tipeee, because you won't carry the money in the grave.
02:53 So it's time to give it to us, right?
02:54 Alright, kisses my friends.
02:55 Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.

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