In a world where success is often equated with material wealth and external validation, Gary Vaynerchuk, popularly known as Gary Vee, stands out as a beacon of authenticity and accountability, Gary shares his invaluable insights with us on personal growth, entrepreneurship, and creating a positive impact.
In this episode, we delve into the key takeaways from our conversation, highlighting the importance of authenticity and accountability in achieving success and personal development. We also hear about the announcement of VeeFriends collaboration with Jeff Fenster and everbowl and how the partnership came to be.
In this episode, we delve into the key takeaways from our conversation, highlighting the importance of authenticity and accountability in achieving success and personal development. We also hear about the announcement of VeeFriends collaboration with Jeff Fenster and everbowl and how the partnership came to be.
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00:00 You're not alive for a long period of time
00:03 and you're dead forever.
00:04 And so you have this tiny window.
00:05 I'm going from being Mickey Mouse to being Walt Disney.
00:09 Fear is one of the most powerful currencies in the world.
00:13 - So what does Gary think about Gary?
00:16 - It was devastating for me to go through that
00:22 in the last 20 years realizing
00:24 that whole don't meet your heroes.
00:25 It's wild to me.
00:27 You know, I never made $100,000 in my 20s.
00:30 It was just that I loved it,
00:31 that I knew that I had more time.
00:33 Time is my great passion.
00:35 So in my 20s, I just knew like,
00:38 man, I have another 80 years to do this.
00:40 And that like brought me tremendous joy.
00:42 The stuff that I spew online is just me talking
00:46 to everyone about the conversations I have with myself.
00:49 I just have never seen money as the gateway to happiness.
00:53 I've seen opportunity to build
00:56 as the gateway to happiness.
00:58 - Welcome to the show, Gary.
01:24 - Thank you, my brother.
01:25 - So excited to have you here today.
01:26 - Happy to be here.
01:27 - Yeah, I mean, this is gonna be fun
01:28 because you're actually here for another reason,
01:31 which is the announcement of our cool collab
01:34 with Vee Friends and Everbolt.
01:36 And I think it's gonna be such a game changer
01:38 for our brand to bring this digital world,
01:41 this digital exciting area,
01:44 as well as the creation of your brain,
01:46 these new characters into the retail of our footprint
01:49 and bring these two communities together.
01:51 - Yeah, I think anything that could ever be
01:53 one plus one equals 11 is kind of how I think
01:55 about business development.
01:56 Obviously, as your footprint continues to grow,
01:59 and I think USR, especially for intellectual property,
02:02 you know, I'm an 80s baby.
02:04 And so like going to McDonald's and getting a Happy Meal
02:07 with like the toy or the IP of the day was so iconic
02:12 and really was ingrained in my head.
02:15 And I'm such a flipper and collector.
02:18 Like I remember working in my dad's liquor store
02:20 in my teenage years,
02:22 there was a Burger King right next door
02:23 and Lion King came out and was on fire.
02:26 And you know, I would like literally every time
02:28 I take out a package to someone's car
02:31 that bought at the store,
02:32 I'd run real quick to Burger King and buy a meal
02:35 just to get the actual collectible.
02:37 And so now that I have my focused Falcon
02:40 and can team up with, you know, with a QSR,
02:43 it's really kind of cool and very full circle.
02:46 And it's one of my favorite things
02:48 when it's no different really than doing this podcast.
02:52 When you're able to bring exposure
02:53 to something you believe in
02:55 and that is able to bring exposure to you,
02:57 those things work, right?
02:59 And so for me, many people are gonna walk in
03:02 to an Ember Bowl and look up and be like,
03:04 what is the Focus Falcon thing?
03:05 What is that, right?
03:07 And on the flip side, I just sent a text out to people
03:11 that live within, you know, a one hour drive
03:14 of the location we're going in after
03:16 and some of them are gonna stop by
03:17 and go in for the first time.
03:19 And obviously when we fully announced the partnership,
03:22 people go, I'm gonna drive people to locations,
03:24 obviously for the vending machine,
03:25 but also for the partnership we're doing.
03:27 And I just like that.
03:29 And I think now that humans have platforms
03:32 that they can actually drive people to think,
03:34 I think you'll see more and more
03:35 of those kinds of business development things.
03:37 - And I guess when you were ideating this whole
03:40 be friends line,
03:43 did you always think about the gumball machine?
03:45 The nostalgia of it?
03:46 - Yeah, I did.
03:48 I thought about that.
03:49 I thought about the trading cards for sure.
03:52 I thought about General Mills a lot.
03:54 So like cereal and Peter Pan peanut butter
03:57 and Flintstones vitamins.
03:59 So I thought a lot about CPG, apparel,
04:04 you know, like things that are like hopefully cool hats
04:07 and then broad market stuff.
04:08 I actually, yeah, you know, broad market,
04:11 this is usually my undershirt, just my own.
04:14 You know, and so, yeah, I mean,
04:16 I've had 40 years of thinking about business and pop culture
04:20 and so yes, obviously the NFT forum
04:23 was the most exciting part for me.
04:24 That was comic book number one rookie card
04:27 in the new digital age.
04:29 And I think that will play out really interestingly well
04:32 over the next 20, 30 years.
04:33 But all the real life physical expansions
04:37 of the intellectual property,
04:39 and obviously the Pokemons and the Disneys and the Marvels
04:43 and the Star Wars, there's just so many comps
04:46 of things you can do and watch outs,
04:50 overexposure, not doing too many things.
04:52 You know, when I decided to do this with you,
04:54 that eliminates seven to 20 other different things
04:56 I was looking at.
04:58 So, you know, these are the things I'm navigating
05:01 with this intellectual property.
05:02 - Well, I love it 'cause I also think it was brilliant
05:04 whether it was top of funnel and top of mind or not,
05:07 that you're now introducing a whole different subset
05:10 of the population that may or may not be engaged
05:12 with the Gary Vee world.
05:13 - Of course.
05:14 - Because they may just want the toy.
05:15 - Yeah, and really the reverse,
05:18 and let me explain what I mean by that.
05:20 I've given it a really good run here the last decade.
05:23 And I'm aware that a lot of people know who I am.
05:25 You know, we're recording this the day after the Super Bowl,
05:28 walking around Vegas, like,
05:30 I'm getting stopped constantly in Gary Vee, Gary Vee,
05:31 and it's amazing.
05:33 I also know it's a pimple on the ass.
05:36 You know, as big as, people bigger than me,
05:38 as big as any person that has 50 million followers
05:41 on Instagram or 100 million, even them,
05:45 even the most famous people you can think of,
05:47 in a world of 8 billion people,
05:50 there's only so many people you can get to as a human.
05:54 You don't resonate for everyone.
05:55 I'm too aggressive for some people.
05:57 I curse, that turns people off.
05:59 I'm a white male, that doesn't work for some people.
06:01 They can't associate with that part.
06:03 I'm a Jets fan.
06:04 I was on Radio Row all week making fun of Giant Fan
06:07 and Steeler fans, and that makes them upset.
06:09 So, you know, there's things that are not gonna work.
06:12 With me, when I look at Mickey Mouse,
06:16 for me, when you look at these, you know,
06:18 when you look at Darth Vader, Spider-Man, Superman,
06:21 Hello Kitty, you know, Pokemon,
06:26 you realize that Sesame Street,
06:28 you realize that these characters have incredible reach.
06:32 And for me, I wanna talk about accountability.
06:34 I wanna talk about kindness.
06:36 I wanna talk about tenacity.
06:38 I wanna talk about compassion.
06:39 And, you know, it took me a long time to understand
06:43 that I was so well-parented that I wanted
06:46 to give back to the world some of those virtues.
06:50 I'm so happy, you know, I wanna share that.
06:53 And so, that is even why Gary Vee, in hindsight, happened.
06:58 And I wanna continue that.
07:02 And I don't wanna use Vee Friends as a gateway drug
07:06 for people to find Gary Vee.
07:08 I really don't.
07:09 I view this as a transition in my career.
07:12 It will happen.
07:13 But I do view this more as I'm going from being Mickey Mouse
07:18 to being Walt Disney.
07:19 I view this more as I was Hulk Hogan,
07:24 but now I'm Vince McMahon.
07:25 I wanna be behind these characters.
07:28 I'll be out, it's my personality, I like people.
07:30 I'll be out and about.
07:32 But this hunger I have for really leaving a positive deposit
07:37 it's a perfect framework, Vee Friends, for me.
07:41 This selfless part of me is very real,
07:45 but I'm also a full-bred entrepreneur
07:47 and want to accomplish business goals and financial goals.
07:50 And I love that part about me too.
07:53 And I enjoy that.
07:54 And I think that's why Vee Friends works for me.
07:56 - And I actually can say this,
07:59 you're being truly authentic when you say that
08:01 because a lot of people that have platforms
08:04 are two different humans.
08:06 They're the human they are on their platform.
08:08 And then when you're with them socially,
08:09 they're a different person.
08:10 - Yeah, I know.
08:12 It was devastating for me to go through that
08:14 in the last 20 years realizing
08:15 that whole don't meet your heroes.
08:17 It's wild to me, especially when you hire people
08:21 that have worked for other high profile people,
08:24 you're just often disappointed on how they treat people.
08:28 So I'm sorry, go ahead.
08:29 - No, but I was going down that track
08:31 because what you just laid out
08:34 and how you are transitioning
08:35 a little bit more behind the scenes
08:37 to now make these things grow,
08:39 having more of that kindness, that empathy,
08:40 that compassion, that tenacity
08:42 that you were talking about, those traits,
08:43 you're all about them.
08:44 And having now spent some time with you personally,
08:47 I can say that I've seen that live.
08:49 And so I know that you are that same human saying all that.
08:54 And where I was going with it was in that same vein,
08:58 if you can now create more brands,
09:00 create the Vince McMahon who will create the league,
09:02 the Walt Disney who will create these offshoots of Mickey's
09:04 with those traits, you can actually better
09:07 this community and world.
09:09 And I think that's why people get so attracted to you,
09:10 even though you may be real and you curse
09:12 and you're a Jets fan,
09:13 and you are not gonna scare to say something
09:15 to someone that they need to hear,
09:18 you're authentic and it's coming from your heart.
09:19 - I come from a good place.
09:21 What definitely allows me to put my head on a pillow
09:23 is my intent is good.
09:25 You know, I'm in a good place and I've always been.
09:28 You know, somebody said to me,
09:29 Dustin and I were talking about this on Radio Row,
09:32 like I was talking about something and the kid jumped in
09:33 and was awesome.
09:34 He was like, yeah, but you've got money.
09:36 I was like, yeah, but you only are saying that
09:38 'cause you're seeing me today.
09:40 I would argue in a lot of ways, all the stuff I believe in,
09:44 I believed in even more and executed even more
09:48 because now my time is being sucked into other things.
09:51 But I was not more happy in my 20s
09:56 and I never made $100,000 in my 20s.
10:00 It was just that I loved that I knew that I had more time.
10:03 Time is my great passion.
10:05 So in my 20s, I just knew like,
10:08 man, I have another 80 years to do this
10:10 and that like brought me tremendous joy.
10:12 As a matter of fact, the stuff that I spew online
10:16 is just me talking to everyone
10:18 about the conversations I have with myself.
10:21 So when I'm out there saying you're 30 or 40
10:24 and you have lots of time,
10:26 like I literally think like this way, I'm 48.
10:29 I'm like, okay, 48, modern medicine.
10:32 Like I should probably, God willing, nothing too crazy.
10:35 I could get to 96.
10:37 I feel confident in that.
10:39 And I say to myself, crap, then I'm at a halftime.
10:44 And I blew it the first 20 years of my career
10:46 'cause I was a kid
10:47 and didn't have the opportunity to go all the way.
10:48 So like to me, that brings me joy.
10:51 I actually am very concerned.
10:52 This is real talk, very vulnerable.
10:55 I am a hair concerned of what my psyche looks like
10:58 in my late 70s, early 80s.
11:01 I've loved the idea of all this room to create and build.
11:05 And I do get a hair concerned
11:08 that if I know there isn't a lot more time,
11:11 how will that fuck with me?
11:12 My hope, and I've gotten a little bit more up,
11:16 I used to be very scared of this 10 years ago.
11:19 Lately, now at 48 versus 38, I'm like, okay, wait a minute.
11:23 What's gonna happen is what I'm starting to feel.
11:25 The more life you live, the more you're grateful for it,
11:29 the more you've scratched certain itches.
11:32 It was so weird.
11:34 This is crazy actually.
11:36 Even this morning walking to my car from my hotel room
11:39 to come here, I had this weird thought
11:42 of like how excited I'm gonna be to be a grandfather.
11:46 Like how I'm gonna not want to go
11:49 to some big business thing
11:51 because I'm gonna wanna go to my granddaughter's recital.
11:54 So there's a part of me that's starting to get
11:56 a little wiser about the concept of time.
11:59 But boy, I just have never seen money
12:04 as the gateway to happiness.
12:06 I've seen opportunity to build as the gateway to happiness.
12:11 And I think that that drives me
12:13 because I think no matter what financial
12:15 or even emotional situation you're in,
12:18 that optimism to you can turn it is very real
12:22 because if you decide you can't,
12:23 if someone's watching this and be like, fuck you, dude,
12:26 like you don't know me.
12:27 My mom was an alcoholic and I was a duct,
12:30 I mean, people have real shit.
12:31 - Yeah, oh yeah.
12:33 - I'm just like, I'm like, listen, I get it.
12:36 But if you just decide to say,
12:38 it's never gonna happen for me, like it's over, fuck life.
12:42 Like I got unlucky, it's no, well then it is.
12:46 It just is.
12:49 How you see life is how it is.
12:51 And so for me, no matter how shitty as my mom grew up,
12:54 my mom was born in the worst country in the world
12:56 at the time, the Soviet Union, you couldn't leave,
12:58 it was North Korea.
12:59 She lost her mother at five.
13:01 Her dad goes to jail when she's 10 for 10 years.
13:04 She has a shit life.
13:06 She's the most optimistic, positive person I know.
13:09 - What do you think created that optimism in her?
13:12 - Her DNA and probably some, you know,
13:15 they talk a lot about, and I'm undereducated on this,
13:17 I don't know this to be true or not,
13:19 but boy, do people have a big belief
13:21 that those first three, four, five years of your life,
13:24 there's a lot going on there.
13:25 And knowing how my mom and what she did for me
13:28 in those first five years,
13:30 my intuition is that her mom did that before she passed
13:34 and might've just got in that optimistic, nurturing love
13:37 and then DNA.
13:39 Like I have siblings, I have children.
13:41 Like DNA is a real fucking thing.
13:44 It is, you know, like it is what it is.
13:46 And so I think, I don't know, I just,
13:49 I sit here and I'm just literally,
13:51 as I look at that camera, I'm like, man, if one person,
13:55 if one fucking person who watches this video
13:59 and millions will over the next decades,
14:02 as you and I execute, this will be more interesting
14:05 for people to watch in 20 and 30 years is my intuition.
14:10 Man, if one fucking person leaves this saying,
14:12 you know what, fuck this.
14:13 Yes, I had pessimistic parents.
14:14 Even I have pessimistic DNA, but Gary's right, fuck it.
14:18 I will go to therapy.
14:19 Like when people buy a $8,000 watch
14:21 to make themselves feel better for a week,
14:24 I'd rather them put that into a bunch of $250 therapy
14:28 sessions over several years.
14:30 Like I just wish people knew that you're not alive
14:33 for a long period of time and you're dead forever.
14:36 And so you have this tiny window.
14:38 - And you better--
14:39 - Look, I was born in 1975.
14:41 What year were you born?
14:41 - '83. - Great.
14:43 '75 and '83.
14:44 A lot happened prior to '75 and '83.
14:47 And a lot is gonna happen after we're gone.
14:51 To me, it's like, fuck, man, don't mail this in.
14:54 'Cause you're mailed in before and after.
14:57 Don't mail in life.
14:59 - And I find it fascinating that people who have
15:02 that pessimistic view and they're saying those things,
15:05 why not fail trying?
15:06 Why not go for it?
15:07 Because they're scared of judgment.
15:10 Jeff, the difference between someone who goes
15:11 and someone who doesn't is incredibly predicated
15:14 on their self-esteem and insecurity framework.
15:17 They don't want to go because it's easier to complain
15:21 and tell everybody why everybody else got lucky
15:25 because you're not doing anything.
15:28 - You think the thought, what you're saying is the way
15:32 others perceive me would control me that much
15:36 that I would rather be in hell and unhappiness
15:39 so I can be the victim and say it's because of this,
15:42 this, and this rather than have people judge my effort
15:44 and be in the same position?
15:46 - Yes, 'cause fear is one of the most powerful
15:49 currencies in the world.
15:51 Most of the people that will vote in this November election
15:55 will vote from a place of fear.
15:56 Most of the way that parents will parent their children
16:00 between now and forever will be predicated on fear.
16:05 Most people work for people when you and I,
16:10 because of the way we're wired,
16:12 we're like why would you do that is because of fear.
16:15 Fear is an incredibly, this is why Star Wars crushed it.
16:20 The whole Dark Side and the Jedis is very, very,
16:23 very, very well done.
16:25 And I'll tell you why.
16:28 I believe optimism and fear are very close.
16:31 That's why the world-- - 11 and one?
16:33 - They're just like this, like a thin line.
16:37 Just a thin line.
16:38 And that's why the world works the way it works.
16:42 There's a lot of fucked up shit,
16:44 there's a lot of amazing shit.
16:46 And I think that the Dark Side,
16:49 like you look at Darth Vader, he's such an important part.
16:52 I literally think about the world
16:53 through the lens of Darth Vader.
16:55 Even the way that he turns in the end of like,
16:59 it's just like this is how I see the world.
17:01 When I see 90 year olds apologize to their family
17:04 for being not nice their whole time on their deathbed,
17:07 it makes me think of Anakin.
17:09 And like it makes me think of him.
17:11 And that's how I see the world.
17:13 And so yes, I believe exactly what I just said.
17:16 I think most people do most things
17:18 because of outside validation.
17:20 I feel like so much that has worked for me comes back.
17:25 When I was in my 30s and it started to get clear to me,
17:27 I was like that's why I was weird in high school.
17:31 I was just like so utterly not penetratable
17:35 with peer pressure.
17:37 That's why I didn't drink.
17:38 My mom asked me not to drink alcohol.
17:40 I loved my mom so much and I wanted to do that for her.
17:43 And even though pretty girls were like,
17:45 come on, have a drink.
17:46 And even though my buddies were like,
17:47 you're a puss, like fucking drink.
17:49 Like it just didn't fucking penetrate.
17:51 - You never had a drink in high school?
17:53 - No, no.
17:55 And it never penetrated.
17:57 And it just kind of like,
18:00 I think if you can deal with peer pressure in high school,
18:04 I think you can deal with it for the rest of your life.
18:07 - Sure.
18:08 - I often say this is still all high school
18:11 'cause it is for most people.
18:12 And so even this weekend in Vegas,
18:17 what's going on with people?
18:18 They're all peacocking.
18:19 There was people upset they couldn't get into that table
18:22 or that VIP room as if it matters.
18:27 You mean the subjective opinion of some people
18:29 you barely know is that you're not as cool as them?
18:31 Who gives a fuck?
18:33 I obviously got to a place in my career
18:34 where I'm lucky and can get into certain things,
18:37 but there are plenty of times where I can't.
18:39 - Sure.
18:40 - And I'm fine.
18:41 Who gives a shit?
18:43 If Jay-Z doesn't want to invite me to something,
18:45 that makes sense to me.
18:46 That doesn't hurt my feelings, right?
18:49 And people just walk around with crazy insecurities
18:52 and audacity.
18:54 Like I've been to events where I see somebody roll up
18:58 and they're like, they're not known,
19:00 they can't get into whatever this thing is
19:01 and they're like, yo, I got 80,000 followers on Instagram
19:04 and I just watch that.
19:05 And I'm like, by the way, please don't do that anymore.
19:08 It doesn't make you look good.
19:10 Not with winners, at least.
19:12 What does that mean?
19:14 It's just so fucking high school.
19:16 Who gives a shit how many followers you have?
19:18 Who gives a shit if you have a blue check mark?
19:20 Who gives a shit how much money you have?
19:21 Really, it doesn't fucking matter.
19:23 - That's true.
19:24 - Like I don't really know how much money
19:26 anybody really, really has.
19:28 I know what people try to perceive out there,
19:30 but it's not gonna make me like or dislike
19:32 Drew Brees anymore, right?
19:35 Like I don't understand what we're doing out here.
19:37 So yes, I believe that most people are scared
19:41 of other people's opinions
19:42 and it dictates all of their actions, all of them.
19:45 - As an entrepreneur, I know how meaningful it is
19:49 to invest in the people and causes that are close to me.
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19:56 to do just that.
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20:43 Let's start our success journey today.
20:45 So in the spirit of what my goal with this show,
20:52 because I'm doing it,
20:54 I think I have found,
20:55 and I know you have too based on what you just said,
20:57 that once you achieve a certain level
20:58 of what you were chasing,
21:00 that financial success, professional success,
21:03 and you look at your business career,
21:04 it's like what fills you up is actually watching
21:06 and helping those in your circle grow.
21:08 Winning is a team. - 100%.
21:10 - And so the spirit of the show is to help people
21:12 that are struggling, that are saying,
21:14 "Hey, I see this, I don't have a path,
21:16 "I don't have the, I don't know what to do."
21:20 How do we help them not stay victim to their fear
21:23 and get away from that?
21:24 Because if fear is as strong as you're saying it is,
21:26 and it's actually making people make these life decisions
21:29 which are curtailing their ability to have happiness
21:32 and find success, how as the community,
21:36 and especially someone with your platform,
21:37 how can we help them see past it?
21:39 - I'm fucking, I'm pounding this.
21:42 I mean, I've put out fucking 10 years of content,
21:45 at least seven years, I'm doing it every day.
21:47 It's what I'm doing in the meta right now.
21:49 I'm telling all of you right now,
21:51 the fear you have of your mom or dad's opinion,
21:55 of your sibling's opinion, of your spouse's opinion,
21:58 of the person you're dating's opinion,
22:00 of the people that follow you on social media,
22:02 of your neighbor, of anyone,
22:04 the fear of their opinion is the trap.
22:09 And how do you get out of that?
22:12 By first understanding, by agreeing with me,
22:14 by sitting on the other side right now,
22:17 on a laptop or a phone and being like,
22:19 in a very vulnerable state, saying, he's right.
22:22 He's right.
22:25 And once you understand that, it's game over.
22:29 What I mean by that is it's game on.
22:31 Meaning, whether it is therapy or exercise
22:34 or different ways of eating
22:35 or listening to different content,
22:37 one of the things that drives me crazy right now
22:41 is I already know that fear is the enemy.
22:44 And then, most people right now are in their phones
22:46 or on television just consuming fear.
22:48 CNN and Fox do the same shit, people.
22:51 They sell fear.
22:52 They're just selling a different message of fear.
22:55 A lot of people that are trying to sell you shit
22:57 are selling fear.
22:58 Like, if you don't take this supplement,
23:01 you're gonna die, oh fuck.
23:02 You know, like, it's fucking fear.
23:04 And so, you know, I think it's very clear to me
23:08 that what can they do?
23:10 They can be self-aware and vulnerable with themselves.
23:13 I'm not even asking you to talk to anybody.
23:15 Just talk to yourself.
23:18 All I'm asking is for you to talk to yourself
23:19 and say how much truth is in this.
23:21 And people don't realize that they've been doing it
23:23 their whole life.
23:24 This is why I hate the school system.
23:26 Like, this whole A, B, C, D, F thing is crazy.
23:29 Like, people just conform into getting an A,
23:32 that short-term validation on something that means nothing.
23:35 The amount of straight A students that I meet
23:38 happened three different conversations this weekend
23:41 that were like, yeah, I just knew how to get the A,
23:42 I memorized it for the test, and then I was out.
23:44 I don't even remember anything.
23:45 That wasn't learning.
23:47 That was memorizing to conform to a system
23:49 that doesn't match real life.
23:51 That sucks.
23:52 - Yeah.
23:53 - So, I don't know, like,
23:54 this is one big game of self-esteem.
23:56 This is why I tell parents,
23:58 you're worried about your kids?
23:59 Create true self-esteem.
24:01 That's why eighth place trophies fucked it up.
24:03 - Yeah.
24:03 - That was fake self-esteem, and those kids knew.
24:06 - And we're seeing the result of that in today's world.
24:07 - Massively, these parents told these kids,
24:10 we don't think you're good enough,
24:12 so we're just gonna reward all of you.
24:13 There's nothing worse than a parent indicating
24:17 that they don't think you're good enough.
24:18 Eighth place trophies.
24:19 - Yep.
24:20 - And the worst one, giving them money after they're an adult.
24:24 For everybody who's got a, every parent right now,
24:27 and I don't like giving parenting advice individually.
24:29 I like doing it macro.
24:31 - Okay.
24:32 - 'Cause individually, there's a million dynamics,
24:32 and I don't know you, and you don't know me,
24:34 but macro, by far, the biggest observation I've had
24:39 in the last decade of all the trillions of DMs that I read,
24:42 is that if you're 22 to 30,
24:45 and your parents are giving you money,
24:47 there's bad shit going on mentally.
24:50 There's resentment by the parents.
24:52 They don't realize what they're doing,
24:55 but they're building resentment towards their child,
24:58 and there's deep insecurity about the kid,
25:00 'cause their parents are saying to them,
25:02 I so don't believe in you, that I have to give you money.
25:05 It's a big problem.
25:08 Now, before all the kids go, yeah, fuck you, mom and dad,
25:11 be a fucking grownup, and stop taking the money.
25:14 If you shit on your parents,
25:16 and you're over the age of 18,
25:18 and I'll make it even easier for you.
25:20 If you shit on your parents,
25:22 and you're over the age of 22,
25:25 and they give you money, you're a fucking asshole.
25:29 Straight talk.
25:30 If you take money from your parents,
25:33 and you're over the age of 22,
25:35 get their names out of your fucking mouth
25:37 in any negative form.
25:40 Kiss the ground they walk on.
25:42 Shut your fucking mouth.
25:43 You don't want them to have say?
25:45 Stop taking the bag.
25:47 Whoever pays for something has say.
25:49 You don't want your parents to have say?
25:51 Stop taking the fucking money, and don't do it cute.
25:55 Like, let them still pay for your Uber,
25:57 'cause it's on their credit card.
25:58 - Or their cell phone.
25:59 - Yeah, or you're on the fucking family plan.
26:01 Get the fuck off the family plan.
26:03 - Is Netflix okay?
26:04 - No.
26:05 Not even the shared fucking password,
26:07 even though they shut that shit down.
26:08 Good job, Netflix.
26:09 - Yeah, good job.
26:10 - That was such a rope-a-dope.
26:11 Let us get us all into sharing the passwords,
26:14 and then we're just gonna cut it off.
26:14 - Yeah, they gave you the drugs.
26:15 - Fuck!
26:16 - Netflix. - So smart.
26:17 So smart.
26:18 Netflix, you fucking gangster.
26:19 - I think there's two sides.
26:21 You did say the eighth place trophy
26:22 is parents not believing in their kids, but-
26:24 - It was well-intended, the eighth place trophy.
26:27 It was well-intended.
26:29 - So with my kids, I never played with that.
26:31 I would tell them.
26:32 - Me too.
26:33 - Because I think it's more important
26:35 that kids at that age learn how to lose,
26:38 and it doesn't break them.
26:39 'Cause we're so fragile today.
26:41 Everyone has this need to be offended,
26:42 and they can't handle adversity and losses
26:44 because they've never had to learn it.
26:46 - I know.
26:46 - And adults don't learn shit.
26:48 - No shit.
26:49 I'm on board.
26:50 - That's the challenge.
26:51 - I think we should bring back fighting.
26:53 - What kind of fighting?
26:54 - I think it was good that in third grade,
26:56 sixth grade, fifth grade, I got into fights.
26:58 Oded Weinstock, if you're out there,
27:01 please email me, gary@vaynermedia.com.
27:04 We need our fourth fight.
27:05 I had a trilogy with this dude.
27:06 It was like Ali Frazier.
27:07 I fought him in second, fifth, and sixth grade.
27:10 - What was the record?
27:11 - Two and one.
27:12 He fucking caught me.
27:13 - Twice?
27:14 - No, I won twice.
27:15 I won in second grade blowout.
27:17 I kicked him off his bike,
27:19 sat on his back, and just pounded his back.
27:21 Crushed him.
27:22 Cried home.
27:23 Then the big fight, actually I misspoke.
27:27 We actually fought twice in one day.
27:30 So it was second grade, then there was always that rivalry,
27:32 and then in sixth grade, excuse me,
27:34 he fucking got me, he punked me in an interesting way.
27:38 I talked some shit.
27:39 We always had a rivalry.
27:40 I talked some shit, I turned around, he pushed me,
27:42 and the locker caught my little skinny ribs,
27:46 like the combo, and I fell, and he got on top of me,
27:49 and he was kind of on top of me,
27:51 and then the teachers broke it up
27:52 'cause this was before homeroom.
27:54 And I didn't think much of it
27:56 'cause it wasn't a full-pledged fight,
27:59 but then by first, second, and third period,
28:01 everybody was whispering, "Oded beat up Gary,"
28:04 and I was like, "Holy shit.
28:06 "My whole entire reputation is on the line."
28:09 I was petrified, so at lunch, I got up,
28:12 I walked over to his table,
28:13 I'm like, "After school at Marco's house."
28:16 So there's kid Marco that lived
28:17 right by John Adams Middle School,
28:19 and the ice cream truck parked in front of his house,
28:21 and there's this little hill.
28:23 And so literally out of a 1970s movie,
28:26 at 3.15 after school, full circle, 60 fucking kids.
28:31 I don't know, yep, 'til this day,
28:34 it was the most scary moment of my life
28:37 'cause I knew within seconds,
28:39 everything was gonna be decided for my entire childhood.
28:43 And by the way, we were the same size in second grade.
28:47 By sixth grade, he was bigger than me,
28:49 and we're in this fuck, I'll never forget,
28:51 Tyler Bunting was in his corner,
28:53 Robbie Turnick and Andy Greco in my corner,
28:56 a bunch of kids, and the fight starts.
28:58 Like straight up, like go.
29:00 And pretty quickly, he gets the upper hand in a clinch,
29:04 and he's on top of me.
29:06 And I swear to you, Jeff, this is like,
29:08 it's unbelievable how childhood works,
29:10 back to adversity and losing.
29:12 When I tell you I was in trouble,
29:15 like he's on top, like the bad on top, not like--
29:17 - Like UFC on top?
29:18 - Yeah, like UFC on top, I'm there,
29:21 and I'm like literally, he's throwing punches,
29:23 and some are catching, and some aren't.
29:26 And he's probably like 30 pounds heavier than me,
29:28 when we're both like, he was 100,
29:30 I was 70, or whatever the fuck it was.
29:32 And I'm like literally like, for the love of God,
29:35 I've gotta get, I've gotta fucking get out of this.
29:39 And somehow, I get out of it, and then I get very,
29:43 I will always say this, I got lucky.
29:45 I get him off, and I throw like a punch and a kick,
29:50 we're both on the ground, and the fucking kick
29:53 hits him directly in his face,
29:56 and his entire nose explodes, and he's bleeding everywhere.
30:00 It was like big, right?
30:02 The story the next morning was that I punched him,
30:03 but I know it was my foot,
30:05 'cause I threw 'em both at the same time.
30:07 We both kinda get up, because he got knocked back by that,
30:10 I get knocked back, we get up, and it just pours,
30:13 and luckily, that just shook him,
30:16 and he kind of like cried and ran off,
30:20 and it was like fucking at a Rocky,
30:21 like the whole circle got me.
30:24 It's pretty much the best moment of my life.
30:26 And anyway, long-winded way to tell you
30:29 that I believe that fight, both for me and Oded,
30:33 was a good thing.
30:34 My intuition is, actually, the next year,
30:36 me and Oded got a little friendly,
30:37 we played a little tennis together,
30:38 and then I moved, and I've lost touch.
30:40 So I think he does real estate,
30:41 I Googled him a couple times,
30:42 I think he does real estate down in South Jersey.
30:44 Nonetheless, I will promise you
30:47 that that was good for me and Oded,
30:49 and I believe all this cushy, cushy, cushy shit,
30:51 and we fucking track our kids.
30:53 Do you know there's college kids
30:55 that are being tracked by their parents on their phones?
30:57 Like track-tracked, or just still being shared?
31:00 - No, no, track-tracked, like the fucking Find My Kid,
31:02 or whatever fucking app is,
31:03 and it's just fucking fucked up.
31:04 Like, we have fucking grown-ass children.
31:07 Like, fucking kids used to go outside,
31:09 your parents had no fucking clue where you were.
31:11 Now we're just in our kids' shit,
31:13 and all these parents are hovering,
31:15 and then all of a sudden, all these people at work,
31:18 like it's crazy.
31:18 We fucking hover and smother and suffocate them,
31:21 and then at work, we shit on all the 20-year-olds
31:24 that come and work for us, 'cause they're not our kids.
31:27 Meanwhile, our kid's doing the same shit
31:29 at another company.
31:30 That's all fucking bullshit,
31:31 and we need to fucking cut it out.
31:33 - And we're seeing the results.
31:34 - Yeah, and by the way,
31:35 for all the kids that aren't that way,
31:37 you should love, you should kiss your parents in the face.
31:40 If you're a kid that your parents
31:42 didn't smother you that way, but still loved you,
31:45 it's not like they didn't give a shit.
31:46 Well, guess what?
31:47 Good news, you're about to kill all these softies.
31:50 The fucking 22-year-old that's got a chip
31:53 on their shoulder is about to,
31:55 I dismantled everybody growing up 22 to 40
31:59 that I was around, but a lot of them weren't coddled either.
32:03 I was just more ridiculous.
32:05 This new crew, if you're a 22-year-old
32:09 and you got something and you have self-esteem
32:10 and you're not scared of losing,
32:12 you're about to fucking dominate.
32:14 - Yes.
32:15 You just summed it up, that getting over
32:18 that fear of losing.
32:20 - This goes back to judgment.
32:22 This is why everyone's scared of judgment.
32:24 Our parents taught us that losing's bad.
32:26 - Yeah.
32:28 - They taught us.
32:28 They said, "Losing is so bad
32:29 "that we're gonna have to give you something."
32:31 Fuck that shit, man.
32:32 I'll tell you, when my kids started playing sports,
32:35 when I saw a kid cry, I would run over to him.
32:37 I wouldn't even go to my kid.
32:38 I'd run over to the kid that cried
32:40 and be like, with the parents there,
32:41 I'm like, "You're the best.
32:43 "You're the best kid here.
32:44 "Good, cry more."
32:46 That's a winner.
32:47 If you care, do you understand
32:50 that eighth place trophies created indifference?
32:53 Do you know how dangerous indifference is?
32:55 Do you know what the mindset of it doesn't matter means?
32:59 If you're someone who says it doesn't matter,
33:01 you're in a very dangerous spot.
33:04 Indifference is dangerous.
33:06 And that's what we taught these kids.
33:09 We demonize competitiveness.
33:12 A kid fucking cries and we're like,
33:15 "That's not good."
33:16 Fuck you, parent.
33:18 That's the best.
33:20 Show me a kid that cries after losing a sports match
33:23 when they're in third grade,
33:24 I'll show you someone who's gonna win in life.
33:25 Period, end of story.
33:26 - Michael Jordan cries when he won or lost 'cause he cared.
33:30 - It's the best.
33:33 I think pro athletes should cry.
33:35 Pro athletes do cry.
33:36 - They do.
33:37 - I was at the game yesterday,
33:39 but I'm sure, like I saw in the AFC,
33:40 NFC Championship game, they zoom in, they're crying.
33:43 It's called giving a fuck.
33:46 It's just a game.
33:48 Fuck you.
33:50 It's just a game to you, loser parent.
33:52 It's not a fucking game to me.
33:53 This was my life.
33:54 This fucking volleyball game in fourth grade
33:57 was my fucking life.
33:58 Fuck you, it's just a game.
34:00 Everything's just a game.
34:02 Fuck you.
34:04 - But the kids who were broke-
34:05 - This one's got me pissed.
34:06 - No, it's good.
34:07 - It's like, fuck you, it's just a game.
34:08 It's not just a game.
34:09 It's just not.
34:12 Life's a game.
34:13 - Well, it's all a game.
34:14 - It's all a fucking game.
34:15 - Pick your game.
34:15 - The whole thing's a fucking simulation.
34:17 (laughing)
34:20 It's a fuck, everything's a game.
34:21 Don't tell me it's just a game.
34:23 You fucking modern parenting bullshit
34:26 of sucking alphas winning DNA out of them
34:30 is a fucking problem.
34:32 - You didn't always have this awareness to this.
34:36 - I had no idea.
34:37 I was just living like most people.
34:38 - So what does Gary think about Gary today
34:43 and also let's say 10 years ago?
34:46 - The same shit that I'm a nice dude
34:48 that's competitive and hungry and nice and-
34:51 - No, I mean the self-talk,
34:52 not how you view yourself from an external side.
34:55 How did the mind that you play,
34:57 like you said, you were scared
34:58 when you were about to get in that fight
34:59 and you had that moment.
35:00 Today.
35:01 - I'd still be scared if I got into a fight.
35:03 If you and I had a fight right now,
35:04 which I would be willing to do.
35:06 - Would you?
35:07 - Yeah, 100%.
35:08 I'm so crazy, bro.
35:09 I will fight you.
35:11 I'm serious, I'll fight.
35:12 - When are we doing this?
35:13 We need 60 people on the hill.
35:14 - I need at least a pay-per-view though.
35:15 Let's make some money if we're gonna do that.
35:17 - Okay.
35:17 Should we get on the undercard?
35:19 - If we did that, right?
35:20 Let's say this got weird and we just took it to the max.
35:23 I'd be scared shitless.
35:24 Nothing, pain doesn't scare me at all.
35:28 You get knocked out, you wake up.
35:29 Reputation over everything.
35:32 I don't need to be fucking walking around life
35:34 and people being like, what about Jeff?
35:36 I'd be like, mother fucker.
35:37 Like, losing, like-
35:38 - The airball guy.
35:39 - You know what I mean?
35:40 And so like, I just think that
35:42 it's no different than doing a podcast.
35:45 Like walking in here, I'm like,
35:47 look at all the names in the sign board.
35:48 And I'm like, I'm gonna do a better podcast
35:50 than all those fuckers.
35:51 Fuck Drew Brees.
35:53 Fuck shit.
35:54 Like, that's how I think.
35:55 And so, speech, going into a business meeting.
35:59 And then what, you know how that manifests?
36:00 You know, some people hearing that are like, what the fuck?
36:02 It manifests in a beautiful way.
36:04 We're about to go do an event in a store.
36:06 Whether one person shows up,
36:09 or 7,000 people showed up, or anything in between,
36:12 I will give it everything.
36:14 Right, Dustin?
36:15 You know that.
36:15 Like, you've seen it.
36:16 You've seen me in front of 15,000 people,
36:18 and you've seen me go to a thing
36:20 that we thought 50 people would be there,
36:21 and then four people are there,
36:22 and I rip it regardless.
36:25 And I think that's, people hear like,
36:27 I want, fuck Drew,
36:28 they're like, oh, that's nasty.
36:29 No, no, it's good.
36:31 It's good.
36:32 I love Drew Brees.
36:33 He's super nice.
36:34 Especially Drew Brees.
36:34 The Jets beat him in a playoff game.
36:37 That made me very happy.
36:39 So with Drew, I have no angst.
36:41 The only time we ever played him that it mattered,
36:43 the Jets beat him.
36:43 (laughing)
36:44 And he's the most lovely guy,
36:47 so no problem there.
36:48 But what I mean by that is,
36:50 that's a good mindset.
36:51 And I think for some reason,
36:53 the last 20, 30 years,
36:54 we made it like it's bad.
36:56 - Well, his quote on that wall, funny enough,
36:58 is how you do anything is how you do everything.
37:01 That's exactly what he wrote on our wall.
37:03 - That's so cool.
37:04 And like, yes.
37:05 - Hey, fitness fans.
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37:32 Hey there, it's your host, Jeff Fenster,
37:35 and I have something very exciting to share with you today.
37:38 You know, here on the Jeff Fenster Show,
37:40 we're all about growth,
37:41 both personally and professionally.
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38:23 - So anyway, you know, the inner talk to me is like,
38:31 I'm still the same person.
38:32 I'm very detached from my success, very.
38:36 I don't think I'm better than anybody.
38:37 I really don't.
38:39 I know that I'm good at business.
38:40 I know I'm a good communicator.
38:42 I know I have good work ethic.
38:44 But I don't think that makes me better than anyone.
38:46 I think humility is, you know, to your point,
38:50 when you said that little thing earlier,
38:53 which means more to me than anything,
38:55 you saying I've seen it up close and personal, I like it,
38:58 that's what I live for.
39:00 So like, you know, when you see me at the airport, right?
39:03 We did an event, we were at a similar event.
39:05 I remember we ran into each other in the line, right?
39:08 You know, I think I might've even been on a call.
39:09 But it was still important to me
39:11 to like be able to like talk to you.
39:13 - It was the first day we met
39:14 and then we saw each other in the airport.
39:15 - You know, like, those are the moments.
39:18 Obviously the dinner, drinks we had the other day,
39:19 like those are the moments, that's when you know.
39:22 And, you know, I don't know,
39:24 I just think that the inner dialogue is very similar.
39:28 I still wanna step up and I wanna take the last shot.
39:31 You know?
39:32 You know, that fear is amazing.
39:35 That currency.
39:36 Now I'm chill with my fear, meaning,
39:39 again, you've I think seen this, Dustin,
39:40 you definitely know, some of you have seen it.
39:42 Like, the second before I take the stage
39:44 in front of 5,000 people, I'm on my phone
39:46 trying to like do some business or get some stuff done.
39:49 Like, I get into a zone.
39:51 It's not a crippling fear.
39:53 It's just, it's a humble currency.
39:56 It means, hey fuckface, this is me talking to myself,
39:59 it doesn't matter what you've ever done.
40:02 - Yeah.
40:03 - It doesn't matter.
40:04 If you shit the bed on this talk,
40:07 all those people are like, you suck at speaking.
40:09 If your next 12 business decisions all fail,
40:12 it means you got worse.
40:14 You're not as good.
40:15 I love the merit of life in business.
40:19 And that's the inner dialogue.
40:21 - Do you find that when you're going through those moments
40:24 and you look back at where you were to where you are,
40:27 have you noticed yourself kind of,
40:29 are you self-adjusting on that growth?
40:32 - I'm sure.
40:33 Of course.
40:34 - Consciously or just subconsciously?
40:35 - Much more subconsciously.
40:39 Is my belief.
40:40 But consciously too, I think as a communicator,
40:45 I definitely consciously make sure that
40:49 if I'm on a talk track, that I create clarity.
40:53 This is why I like doing a podcast like this.
40:54 A clip might be out of context.
40:57 And so I definitely think about that.
41:01 I read all the comments.
41:03 I read comments and I read DMs.
41:04 So I have a sense of, am I hitting the mark?
41:06 Are people getting what I'm saying?
41:08 Am I?
41:09 And anytime I'm misunderstood, I take it on me.
41:11 I hate when people blame the audience.
41:15 This is a good one actually for this show.
41:18 I don't talk about this enough.
41:20 I hate when people blame the audience.
41:21 If you only have a thousand views, that's not their fault.
41:25 I hear it all the time.
41:28 People are like, they don't get me.
41:29 I'm too ahead of my favorite bullshit excuse.
41:33 I'm too ahead of my time.
41:34 No, you're not.
41:35 People are just not interested in your shit.
41:37 Like, you know, like, like I don't,
41:40 I don't blame the audience.
41:42 And that level of accountability, I think a lot about.
41:44 So when I see people misunderstand what I'm doing,
41:48 I create clarity and I just, I'll give you a perfect example.
41:51 My garage sale videos.
41:53 You know, when I read the comments,
41:55 they're like, what the fuck?
41:56 This fucking multimillionaire is ripping people off.
42:00 They just, they got a $50 item and it's eight bucks
42:03 and he's nagging them down to four bucks.
42:07 You know, for me, I'm doing a show to teach people
42:09 who only have $83 in their bank account
42:11 how to get to the next place.
42:14 And for me, it's not like I'm taking the items
42:15 I'm buying at garage sales and actually flipping them.
42:17 I'm giving them to my nephew to teach him entrepreneurship.
42:21 But you know, I read the comments
42:22 in the last episode I did, I said, by the way,
42:23 every dollar I save, I'm gonna make a donation to charity.
42:26 Because not for any other reason,
42:29 I'm not overly worried about those comments.
42:31 I'm overly worried about the people
42:32 that make those comments.
42:34 I wanna suffocate out their excuse.
42:37 - Yeah.
42:38 - I wanna give them one less thing to say,
42:40 but what about this?
42:41 What about the gas?
42:42 What about the shipping fees?
42:43 What about eBay costs?
42:44 I'm like, you mean costs of good of running a business?
42:46 Like, you know, like I wanna give them one last thing
42:50 to say, okay, I don't see the angle to be cynical
42:54 or complain or shit on.
42:57 Instead, what's left is motivation and optimism.
43:01 Fuck it.
43:01 Instead of sleeping into 11 this Saturday and doing nothing,
43:05 I'm gonna wake up at 6.30, I'm gonna take 30 bucks
43:07 and see how right or wrong Gary Vee is.
43:10 And I can tell you by the hundreds of emails
43:13 I've gotten in the last five years about it,
43:16 there are very few things I do in life
43:18 that make me feel more fulfilled
43:20 than my garage sale videos.
43:21 Because the emails I get on the other side,
43:24 it feels great when real business people like yourself
43:26 hit me up and say, hey, that thing you did about TikTok,
43:29 that really helped me.
43:30 Or hey, the blockchain, like when you said 99% of NFTs
43:33 were gonna go to zero, that made me look at it differently
43:35 and this helped me.
43:36 But when fucking someone emails me
43:38 and shows me a screenshot of their Wells Fargo
43:41 of $4.09 and then they send me screenshots
43:47 of their eBay account with $35,000.
43:50 And they're like, I went from $4 to $35,000 in a year
43:53 going to thrift stores and fucking garage sales
43:56 because of one of your videos,
43:57 there will never, I'm not sure I'm gonna find it
44:01 because it really fucking matters to that person.
44:02 - You changed someone's life.
44:03 - Period.
44:04 - The business person that helped you out on TikTok,
44:06 you didn't change their life,
44:07 you just gave them a little extra.
44:08 - And listen, I love it.
44:09 And by the way, it does change lives,
44:10 it allows those people to do bigger things.
44:12 But man, to your point, like fuck, it just hits different.
44:15 And I know that a stunning majority of the people
44:18 that are watching here, not everybody only has $4.
44:22 A lot of people have less, they're in massive debt.
44:24 And more importantly, a lot of people are getting by
44:27 and that extra, here's the big one.
44:29 Another good analogy.
44:31 This morning, my heart was so full
44:33 because I saw so many videos and recaps
44:36 of dads and daughters watching the Super Bowl
44:38 because of Taylor Swift.
44:39 Taylor Swift will do a lot of things in her life.
44:42 The fact that she's gonna bring daughters and dads together
44:46 because of this football thing, she may never top that.
44:50 It's so remarkable.
44:52 I have such flowers for her impact on that.
44:54 I love football and it's great
44:57 that the sport's a little more popular.
44:58 No, no, no.
44:59 The amount of dads and daughters
45:01 that are gonna build their relationship off of this moment.
45:04 Because a lot of the videos I've seen is like,
45:06 okay, she's now watched football,
45:07 now I'm taking her, not mom, to her next Taylor Swift concert.
45:11 It's the best.
45:12 Anyway, to me, those kind of things are just so important
45:17 and so, so impactful.
45:21 And I just, I think there's so many opportunities
45:25 to bring positivity to the world
45:27 and I just wish more people focused on it.
45:29 - Well, that's a great segue to my last question
45:31 before rapid fire.
45:32 For all the entrepreneurs, aspiring entrepreneurs,
45:36 entrepreneurs, people working in jobs
45:38 that don't wanna be an entrepreneur,
45:38 but just wanna be the best version of themselves,
45:41 what are those couple things that you want them
45:44 to start to think about consciously over the next 365 days?
45:48 So a year from today, they're not in the same position,
45:50 living the same issues, same uncertainties.
45:53 What are those traits that you think can be worked on,
45:57 should be worked on and aren't talked about enough
45:58 'cause they're overlooked?
46:01 - This is gonna, again, seem nuanced and complicated,
46:04 but I think it will land,
46:05 especially if somebody's watching this, is my intuition.
46:08 The number one way to get happier
46:13 is to take on 100% full accountability.
46:15 If you literally wake up, this is very nuanced,
46:20 so I'm gonna say nice and slow.
46:21 If you wake up and say, everything is my fault,
46:24 when people hear that,
46:25 they think that will make you more unhappy.
46:27 I'm a piece of shit, I'm a loser, it's not true.
46:31 It is if you don't understand it,
46:32 which is why I'm breaking it down slow.
46:34 If you say, everything is my fault,
46:36 you get optimistic in knowing that you can then fix it.
46:39 It's a big deal.
46:42 The reason I believe that I'm happy
46:45 is because I think everything's my fault.
46:47 And so what happens is if you're blaming your parents,
46:51 which so many do, you're in big trouble.
46:55 Because guess what, they had parents too,
46:57 so blame your grandparents.
46:58 You know, VCon, I said, fuck your grandparents
47:00 and your whole grandma's like, what the fuck just happened?
47:02 I was like, no, no, but let me explain
47:03 what I'm actually trying to say, right?
47:05 Which is, you can't be mad at your dad
47:07 knowing that your grandma fucked him up.
47:08 And oh, by the way, there's great grandparents.
47:11 So I think what I want for everyone
47:13 is to be fully accountable.
47:15 It's like the amount of people that blame Trump,
47:18 then Biden, then Trump again, then the next, the president.
47:21 What a joke.
47:23 They're parents, I get it,
47:24 but it's not going to be productive.
47:26 The second you realize, like sure,
47:28 you can have a lot of anxiety
47:30 and resentment towards your mother,
47:32 but you're now grown.
47:34 And maybe instead of buying a new Xbox,
47:37 you can go do therapy, meditation, exercise.
47:41 And by the way, you don't need to pay for things.
47:43 Why don't you go outside and take a two hour walk,
47:46 put on some headphones, 'cause I know you have those,
47:48 and listen to a podcast that's free.
47:50 This right here, listen to it every day.
47:53 I'm not joking.
47:54 Trying to get you some views.
47:55 - Appreciate it. - Listen to this every day.
47:56 Like, it will, like, and so get positivity in your ears,
47:59 become fully accountable to your life.
48:02 It's not the government or your parents' fault.
48:05 It's they've put you in certain situations,
48:08 but you have the strength and capacity to make it better.
48:13 You just do.
48:15 And once that happens, it becomes such a good life.
48:20 You're mad at your husband?
48:21 Talk to him.
48:22 Instead of being resentful and acting out,
48:25 go and have a couples therapy session,
48:27 or if you can't afford it,
48:28 'cause I always hedge against that.
48:30 'Cause again, the commenter will be like,
48:31 oh, we have therapy, but 200 bucks, okay.
48:33 How about just being kind and candorous to your spouse?
48:37 Sit them down and be like, I don't like when you do this.
48:40 I don't like that you're doing that.
48:42 I don't appreciate that after you're done with work,
48:44 you go hang out with your buddies.
48:46 Like, talk, 'cause then he or she may say,
48:49 well, I don't like that, and you know, communication.
48:52 Get the poison out of your body.
48:54 That's another thing I would want.
48:56 Get the poison out of your body.
48:58 That poison, those feelings, you've got to say them.
49:01 Now, if you wait until you're on full tilt,
49:04 and you're like, mom, you're a fucking piece of shit.
49:06 You fucked me up.
49:07 That's not gonna be productive.
49:09 Mom's not gonna be like, oh, thank you.
49:10 No, no, you gotta get into the right place
49:12 to have these talks, and they're not gonna be receptive.
49:15 I haven't been, like, in my life,
49:17 when people have come to me, it's not a natural,
49:19 like, it's hard, and I'm very accountable.
49:21 And even for me, it's like, mm, I don't like that.
49:24 - Yeah, you get defensive.
49:25 - Yeah, like, you know, I don't like that.
49:27 But I've gotten really good at being like, mm,
49:30 like, and I like it, and like,
49:31 now I really appreciate the feedback,
49:33 and like, we just all have to go there anyway.
49:37 Accountability and kind, candor communication
49:42 on some of the shit that's inside of you,
49:44 and understanding the following sentence.
49:47 And if you do none of that, I don't give a fuck.
49:50 Like, I'm not your fucking dad.
49:52 You're not my brother.
49:53 You know what I mean?
49:54 Like, I get so mad when people get mad at people
49:57 that are trying to help them.
49:59 Fuck you, okay?
50:01 Knock yourself out.
50:02 Sit in your fucking room,
50:03 and be angry for the rest of your life.
50:04 What the fuck do you want?
50:06 Stand on your own two emotional feet.
50:09 I want it for you, I will be out here
50:11 doing shit like this forever.
50:13 Like, many, by the way, I'm not special.
50:15 There are many, many, many of thousands of people
50:19 out there navigating, trying to put good shit out there.
50:22 Right? - Yep.
50:23 - And you know, you gotta find the person
50:25 that does it for you, but like, man,
50:27 complaining is fucking loser shit.
50:30 - It's dangerous, it's self-deprecating.
50:33 - Well, self-deprecating could be cute.
50:35 It's self-- - In jest.
50:37 - Yes, in jest, to your point.
50:39 But that's, you know, like,
50:41 but you know, at least self-deprecation,
50:44 even in jest or in reality,
50:45 there's a level of accountability.
50:47 That's like not loving yourself enough.
50:49 - Yeah. - Complaining is,
50:50 my boss will never let me succeed.
50:53 Are you out of your fucking mind?
50:55 Your boss at a random company?
50:56 There's 87 trillion companies.
50:59 - Yeah. - Quit!
51:01 Oh, easy for you to say, Gary, I have a mortgage,
51:03 I have this, no, no, okay.
51:04 So tonight, instead of doing whatever the fuck
51:08 you're doing for four hours,
51:09 that isn't what I'm about to tell you,
51:11 go on LinkedIn and email 100 people.
51:14 Update your LinkedIn account.
51:16 Post content about your expertise in financial services
51:19 or in real estate or in bagel making
51:23 and let somebody find you.
51:24 You can do shit. - Yep.
51:26 - You can do shit.
51:27 And I'm not sitting here trying to motivate you.
51:29 This is, I actually get weird when people are like,
51:32 you're motivational.
51:33 I'm like, I'm practical.
51:34 I'm not motivational.
51:36 I'm obsessed with practicality.
51:38 - Yeah.
51:39 - Like, if you hate your job,
51:42 you can either drink alcohol to escape it,
51:46 you can find another loser friend and complain with them
51:49 and be like, eh, nah, nah, nah.
51:51 Or you can go home and pound LinkedIn
51:54 until your next job comes that pays you more
51:55 so you can leave.
51:56 - Or, and to your point,
51:58 you can take a self-awareness moment
52:01 and say, what am I doing at my job
52:03 that is keeping me from growing?
52:04 - Well, you're going fucking 301.
52:06 I'm just trying to show them how easy it is to get away.
52:09 Kudos to you.
52:10 You took it up a notch.
52:11 Yeah, or you could be like, why does this?
52:14 Well, maybe because I'm a gossip in the office
52:16 and causing trouble.
52:17 I wonder if fucking boss is mad at me.
52:19 Maybe because, how about this one?
52:21 Maybe because I know that I'm working remote
52:24 for three days a week
52:26 and I'm really only working four hours.
52:28 You fucking full of shit fuckers.
52:32 How about that one?
52:33 Fuck my job.
52:34 I'm like, you don't work.
52:35 What the fuck do you want them to do?
52:36 - Most bosses and leaders, they want their best talent.
52:39 If you're the best, they're gonna move you to the top.
52:41 - And by the way, let's go the other side.
52:43 I know a lot of bosses hold down talent
52:45 that's better than them
52:46 because they don't want them to jump them.
52:48 I know that.
52:48 - I'm thinking about it as a founder.
52:51 - I know, notice where I just jumped in.
52:52 - Sorry, you're right.
52:53 - No, you're like me.
52:55 The only thing you care about is the logo.
52:57 I'm agnostic.
52:58 I don't care if you're my brother-in-law, my best friend,
53:00 or somebody I met yesterday,
53:01 whoever can be the best player on the field.
53:03 This is why I'm gonna win Super Bowls when I buy the Jets.
53:05 I'm agnostic, no emotion.
53:06 - Remember, I'm going in on you.
53:07 - I got it.
53:08 - You got a spot for me.
53:09 - But you're talking like a founder.
53:10 A lot of these people.
53:10 - You're right.
53:11 - Right?
53:12 - Right, so I've never been a boss, I'm a founder.
53:14 - And you know this, you've seen it in your organization.
53:16 - Yes.
53:17 - You've seen it.
53:17 I know it right now.
53:18 There are people right now in my company
53:19 that I know are suppressing the person underneath them
53:21 'cause the person underneath them is more talented.
53:23 - I mean, you're right.
53:24 - So there's a lot of things,
53:25 but in that scenario, that person that's being,
53:27 even if they're right, even if they're 100% right,
53:29 their boss is doing it, great, go get another job.
53:33 You can do it.
53:34 You can do it.
53:37 - Well, that was great.
53:39 Now we gotta do a quick rapid fire.
53:40 - Let's do it.
53:41 - Three questions.
53:42 - 30 seconds or less.
53:43 - I gotta answer in 30 seconds or less?
53:45 This might be the biggest challenge of the entire podcast,
53:46 but I'm ready.
53:47 - You gotta stare into camera one.
53:48 - Yes.
53:49 - All right, you ready?
53:50 - Yes.
53:51 - If you had to distill your entrepreneurial journey
53:54 into one key lesson, what would it be?
53:55 - Patience over everything.
53:59 - Where do you see this attention trading future
54:03 evolving the most?
54:04 - Into VR and AR.
54:08 I think the Vision Pro has given you
54:09 a little bit of a preview.
54:11 Technology won't stop now.
54:13 The phone is not gonna be the remote control
54:15 of our lives forever.
54:17 - And last, what is the biggest separator you see
54:20 in the most successful entrepreneurs?
54:22 - They're in it for the game.
54:25 Most of you are chasing the trophy,
54:27 which is the money, which is the car,
54:29 which is the girl, the guy, the vacation, the house.
54:33 No question.
54:34 To me, it's the people that are addicted to the game
54:38 of entrepreneurship that win.
54:41 - Well, man, I wanna thank you for coming on.
54:42 This was awesome.
54:44 I'm a huge fan of your message,
54:45 how you're leading with, you know,
54:47 be kind, empathy, humility,
54:50 those traits that get lost when you start to achieve
54:53 certain levels of success,
54:54 and the fact that you hold them so loud and proud,
54:56 you are pushing that forward, you are helping people.
55:00 You don't have to.
55:01 You're in a position in your life
55:02 where you could do whatever the hell you want,
55:03 and the fact that you are spending as much effort
55:05 and energy to come on shows like this,
55:07 travel around the world, give back, speak on stages,
55:10 obviously you don't need it from me,
55:11 but I wanna say thank you.
55:12 - Thank you, brother.
55:13 And real quick, because we share a lot of audiences
55:15 this way, being kind and compassionate and sympathetic
55:20 doesn't make you any less alpha killer winner, right?
55:24 Like, if you dissect this podcast,
55:27 we talked a lot about warm and fuzzy,
55:29 and I talked about punching Oded Weinstock
55:30 in the fucking face, and yelling at parents
55:33 to never again stop a kid from crying in a basketball game.
55:36 Cheer them, don't suck it out.
55:38 You can balance these two energies.
55:40 You could be a fucking killer on the field,
55:43 but a nice person when the game hits triple zero.
55:47 - And I'm up for the pay-per-view.
55:48 - You're up for it? - I'm up for it.
55:49 - Did you grow up wrestling?
55:50 - At Boxton College.
55:51 - You know what's so funny?
55:53 Even hearing that, it's crazy how chemicals work.
55:58 Even that that became the logical sentence of like,
56:01 oh shit, you're gonna lose, Gary.
56:03 This is like what incredible confidence looks like.
56:07 - You're a Jets fan.
56:08 - Well, the Jets fan part is enjoying losing and the climb.
56:11 I'm talking about delusional confidence.
56:15 My brain goes to like, okay, I own a sports agency
56:20 that has a lot of UFC, we rep a lot of people.
56:24 Could I in three months learn enough skills
56:27 to be able to mitigate a very substantial disadvantage
56:31 on paper?
56:32 Yes, I can.
56:33 More to come as we build up the hype for this fight.
56:37 Pick it up, pick a date, I'm in.
56:39 - I love you, brother. - Thank you for coming on.
56:40 - Thank you for having me. - This was awesome.
56:41 - Thank you.
56:41 - Hey everyone.
56:44 First, I wanna thank all of you for tuning in.
56:46 And if you guys haven't heard about my new book,
56:48 "Relationship Bank Account,"
56:50 click the link in the show notes
56:51 or search the title on Amazon.
56:53 This book is packed with all my secrets to success
56:56 in both relationships and life.
56:58 Make sure to pick up a copy.
56:59 And if the book helps you on your journey,
57:01 let us know by leaving a review.
57:03 I appreciate all of you
57:05 and can't wait to see you on the next one.
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