STOP COMPLAINING! Freedomain Livestream

Stefan Molyneux
Stefan Molyneux
  • last year
8 November 2023 Livestream

Do you find yourself complaining? What does it mean to complain?


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Transcript
00:00:00 Good evening, welcome! Oh, we got a binary day. 11/10, 11/10/2023. Hope you guys are doing well. Welcome to your Friday night live. I am back.
00:00:16 My daughter got ill. Now, I'm old enough now that my immune system is like, "Oh, virus! Let's just go through the Rolodex. I've lived in three continents, gone to a bunch of different schools. Let me just go through the Rolodex."
00:00:33 And yeah, we've seen it before, been there, done that, seen that. So I get this weird thing where I don't really have any symptoms of being ill. I'm just kind of a little, "Huh." Just a little, you know, like, "Oh, I'm going to go and listen to some music on the couch."
00:00:56 So anyway, I had that. My daughter got sick a couple days ago, and she's gone through sore throats. And then she said today, she said, "You ever have that feeling where your nose is just totally constipated?"
00:01:09 I'm like, "I don't want to know what you've been sniffing." But no, I don't actually have that. No, it's not the flu. But anyway, I'm just ... because I've been around the world and all over the place and been sick in various different environments,
00:01:22 the good thing about getting older is that you just don't get sick as much. So anyway, I'm on the recovery side of things. And just today, yes, yes, just today, what I did was I released The Truth About the French Revolution, but Part 7,
00:01:43 which was an hour, 40 minutes on the murder of King Louis XVI, the death, well, the murder, really, of Marie Antoinette, the Lady Di of her day, and the childhood, the childhood data out of the 18th century.
00:02:03 Hey, quick question. What was the most common capital crime for French women in the 18th century? Adultery wasn't a capital crime. Slattern, no, disrespecting the witchcraft, poisoning, head-knot cufflinks, yeah, it was infanticide.
00:02:32 Infanticide. They had a wide variety of killing their own children. Obviously, strangulation, a good old go-to, poisoning, but a lot of times they would just throw them into, well, I mean, privies. They would throw them into the open-air toilets.
00:02:51 Funny, you know, it's funny to think that a population that grew up seeing a lot of mothers kill their children ended up being kind of murderous. I don't, you know, sometimes these gaps are too far for my mind to leap, but I'll get there one day. Like, one day, I will just get to the place where I can make these kinds of connections without having some kind of seizure.
00:03:12 But, not today, Zurg. Not today. All right. I also, yeah, I moved my camera a little back. Duke Pester has a really nice studio setup, and I'm just like a giant thumb. I can't find the right camera settings. I've given up on this camera. It's a lovely camera, but I just can't find the settings, so I basically kind of washed out. It's the way it is. It's the way it is.
00:03:33 Parent Duty calls. Have a good time. Thank you. If you would like to support the show, I would really, really appreciate it. Been working pretty hard, even though kind of tired this week, but I'm working pretty hard. Do I like ketchup chips? No. And actually, the reason that I don't like ketchup chips, it's actually a funny story. The reason I don't like ketchup chips is because I have a human tongue.
00:03:54 I think if you have the tongue of Satan, Beelzebub, Moloch, Asterian, if you have a tongue literally composed of evil, then I think you have a taste for ketchup chips. If you have a human tongue, then it is pretty much holy water to a vampire, because it is one of the few genuinely evil foods that is out there.
00:04:21 Salt and vinegar is top tier. Oh. You ever have this thing... Okay, let's just get real petty for a moment. Ooh, should we? Should we get petty? Should we get petty for a moment? I'm not sure. Should we get petty? Yeah, alright. So, you ever have this... One of the most appalling vicious cycles in the known universe is biting your lip. You ever have this death spiral of biting your own lip?
00:04:48 Because, hey, quick question. What happens when you bite your own lip? Yeah, what happens when you bite your own lip? Just out of curiosity. What does it do? It swells! That's right. And so, it's sort of like, "Well, that really hurt like hell." And don't you do this check? Am I bleeding? Am I bleeding? You do this check, right?
00:05:09 And so then, you're like, "Wow, you know, these teeth really caught me at a funny angle." So, I think what I'm going to do is invade the tooth space until, basically, it feels like the next best thing would be just decapitate yourself with your own teeth. So, yeah.
00:05:26 I was in the teeth's way, so what I'm going to do in response to being in the teeth's way is be as large as humanly possible like an ostrich egg on the inside of your mouth to the point where you really can't take a bite of anything, including air, without becoming a self-cannibal of the first order.
00:05:41 So, I just wanted to mention that because if you ever, ever, ever want to find out if you have any sores or cuts or anything in your mouth, salt and vinegar chips are the way to go. You might as well just start gargling salt water. Yeah, that's rough. That's rough.
00:05:57 And then, yeah, it just keeps going and it keeps going and it keeps going. And do you know what you say? Of course you say. You say like everyone. You say to yourself, "Oh, man, I'm going to be totally careful about you. I've got a really big..."
00:06:09 And basically what happens is you sit down to eat and when you have the inside tooth or the inside lining of the mouth swelling, you know what you hear every time you sit down to eat?
00:06:22 "Bah-dum. Bah-dum. Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum." Yeah, that's basically you hear this jaw machine because that's the way it is.
00:06:33 And, "Have you ever tasted human flesh?" "Well, not really, but yes. But yes." It's really tough. And I'm a bit of a chewing gum addict, so yeah, it just... Oh, you do it in your sleep and you wonder why my mouth hurts in the morning?
00:06:53 I think it was Tuesday night, I had this bizarre dream where I was eating this giant marshmallow. You have dreams like that? You're just eating a giant marshmallow and then you wake up and your pillow is gone. It's just bizarre.
00:07:08 Oh, there's a little bit of dad humor for you. My daughter, she now knows the science of the incoming dad humor, so she will actually siren, take shelter, go into the ducts, go into the vents, it doesn't matter. But she's out.
00:07:21 Whereas you guys, because I unleashed a little bit less of dad humor on you, you don't know exactly when to shield yourself up, right? You don't know that, right? Is that fair to say? You don't know it.
00:07:34 All right, I am here for y'all. Hey, quick question. Quick question while I wait for y'all to tell me what y'all want me to talk about. Auto refresh on Bitcoin. How did Bitcoin do since we last did a show?
00:07:55 Yes, that's right. Last time we did a show, Bitcoin was at about 47, 48. Now it's 51, 5. So, that's not bad. And it did actually hit almost 52.
00:08:11 Do you know that it is two years ago today, two years ago to the day that it hit its high of 69,000 USD? Two years ago to the day. Now, I'll tell you something else that's interesting.
00:08:31 If you bought Bitcoin at the top, if you bought Bitcoin at the top and you just dollar cost averaged in, if you bought Bitcoin at the top, put in say like a hundred bucks a week, since it was at the top all the way to now, would you have made money or lost money?
00:08:55 Just out of curiosity, if you bought right at the top, absolute peak two years ago, you bought right at the top and then you dollar cost averaged into Bitcoin between now and then, would you make any money?
00:09:09 All right. For those of you who think, and really the only way you can make money is to own a central bank, but let's just steal money. Boy, talk about the paper cuts that behead an entire class of people, right?
00:09:21 How much, what percentage would you have made, what percentage ROI would you have if you'd started buying Bitcoin right at the top, dollar cost averaged between, dollar cost averages you put a fixed amount in and then with the prices lower you buy more.
00:09:35 What percentage would you have made, what percentage ROI would you have over two years if you had bought Bitcoin right at the top but just kept buying?
00:09:47 Up 25%, up 10%, not bad, 800% no. Well, well, well.
00:09:59 So the answer is about 34%. You would be up 34% if you had bought right at the top and dollar cost averaged in. You'd be up 34%. Now you go find me, your average income generator or your average ROI calculator or your average investment that has you make 34% if you buy right at the top and just hang on.
00:10:28 So, don't like the price of Bitcoin? Hibernate, you'll be fine. Top rental ROI is supposed to be 11 to 13%, yeah, but this is much less risk.
00:10:43 Hodl lady, hoo, yeah, that's right, hodl baby, hodl. Yeah, well, it's a little easier for the young people to hodl.
00:10:51 Yeah, Madoff was claiming 12%. Yeah, obviously impossible over time. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:10:59 So, questions, comments, issues, challenges, problems, I certainly have stuff with which to talk about. I can complain about a message I received.
00:11:18 Or I could take your questions and rant about those. I have other rants sitting in my back pocket. And the goal is, of course, to help you. Share unto us your complaints. Yes, okay.
00:11:37 So, this is interesting. And you may have had this experience, you may have had this thought, but this is going to be one of these, I don't know, lifey changey things. So, are you ready for lifey changey thing? L-C-T, lifey changey thing.
00:11:55 Now, you may remember, if you're an older listener, that I dabbled in the political arena for a certain amount of time. You remember, I was skirting around the edges, just chewing around, nibbling around the corners, and on the fuzzy shadow edges.
00:12:10 I was just a little bit, little bit into the whole political thing for X amount of time. Now, some people, of course, got very excited having the voice of a fairly preeminent philosopher in the political sphere.
00:12:25 And then, how, you know, just if you followed any of this stuff, or you can sort of project yourself into the thoughts, how did people feel when I stopped doing politics? How did they feel when I stopped doing politics?
00:12:43 Betrayal! Yes, indeed. How could you lead us to the edge of the promised land and then despawn, go right to the back rooms, and just exit stage everywhere?
00:12:58 There was some tension, I suppose you could say. I didn't start any movement, but you know, if I had, people would be like, "You started this movement, you abandoned this movement," or whatever, right?
00:13:08 You may have heard the odd whispering about this. So, I got a message, and I won't read it, it was fairly lengthy, but I got a message basically along the lines of, "You rat bastards."
00:13:18 I've had a number of these, of course, but this one was particularly vivid and very passionate and very well written, and it gave me some good feedback.
00:13:30 I'm always eager to get feedback. I'm way beyond taking things personally, so I'm just really interested in what people have to say and think.
00:13:37 So, it was one of these, like, "Who got you, man? Who got you? And you left us in the lurch, and you abandoned us," and all this kind of stuff, right?
00:13:47 And I won't say it was necessarily aggressive, but it was pretty assertive, and I respect that, and I do respect that somebody would take the time to write that to me.
00:14:03 There are a lot of people who write to me who think they deserve an answer, which is a kind of funny thing, right?
00:14:08 Like, you deserve breast milk from your mom, but you don't deserve an answer from me, and I don't deserve donations from you, I don't deserve answers from you,
00:14:17 I try to work as hard as I can to make you want to, but I can't put it as a fact.
00:14:25 Expectations breed escalation, right? Expectations breed escalation.
00:14:32 She's got to want to go out with me, man, I've just got to be persistent, and you escalate, right? I've got to get this job, I expect to get this job, I'm going to get this raise, right?
00:14:40 Expectations breed escalations.
00:14:42 To try and free yourself from expectations is one of the great things in life, but that's not the big life-changing thing, it's just something I wanted to mention.
00:14:48 Try not to expect things, because expecting things generally gives yourself or myself permission to escalate or to bully, right?
00:14:58 Because you are owed something, and if somebody doesn't give it to you, then you tend to escalate and get mad, right?
00:15:10 Alright, let me just get your comments here. "A lot of people valued your political opinions and outlook, especially in the perspective of UPB."
00:15:16 Hmm, yeah.
00:15:21 So, I always try to reinterpret things, and I think this is, whether this is accurate or not, it's not particularly important, the point is it's empowering.
00:15:34 So what I do is I try to interpret things.
00:15:37 So, if I were to reply to this fellow, and again, I respect that he wrote to me, took the time, and obviously very passionately cares about what I have to say, and is disappointed, and again, I understand that, and I appreciate that.
00:15:48 But here's the thing.
00:15:53 I would ask him this.
00:16:02 "Please show me the evidence that when I was deplatformed, you led a movement to have people come to the new platforms."
00:16:14 Because that's an interesting question, right?
00:16:18 People say, "Well, how did you know that only 3%?" So I'd get 100,000+ views on YouTube, and then over on BitTube, which was sort of my primary place, I'd get like 3,000 to 4,000 views, maybe 2,000 views, so sort of rough around 3.
00:16:29 So 97% of people didn't follow me to the new platforms.
00:16:32 Now, again, I understand that, but if this guy cared so much about what I was doing, then -- and I say this to you because there are things that you're going to want to get done in this life, there are people that you want to motivate, there's things that you want to affect and change and get going in some direction that you prefer --
00:16:53 and what I would do if there was someone I really valued and they were deplatformed, I would lead a movement -- #whatever -- I would lead a movement to say, "Man, we've got to get people to the new platform. We've got to support staff. We've got to get people to the new platform."
00:17:11 Does that make sense?
00:17:17 Because that would be a big change, right? And a big loss of -- like, I did an analysis, and it was a really terrible thumbnail because it was shortly after my producer and I parted ways, and he was doing the thumbnails. It was a really bad thumbnail.
00:17:35 And it was an analysis of Blasey Ford's attacks upon Justice Kavanaugh for the Supreme Court thing, and he got like half a million views, right?
00:17:45 And then after that, I got throttled heavily, I believe, of course, on YouTube, and it was like 17,000, 20,000, 22,000, or whatever, right?
00:17:53 So, if people really cared about keeping me -- let's say they want to keep me in politics, they'd say, "Okay, well, he's been deplatformed, he's over here, we've really got to push and get people to -- I'm going to pester people to announce it on their shows.
00:18:13 I'm going to create a hashtag campaign. I'm going to -- whatever. I'm going to make sure we get people over to Steph's new platform."
00:18:19 Does that sort of make sense? And I would say this just to empower people. If you want people to do something, support them, right? Support them.
00:18:33 And look, I'm not saying he should have done this. I'm not saying I was desperate for him to do this, but it's a reasonable thing to ask.
00:18:41 Would you say? Is it a reasonable thing to say, "Show me where you --" And maybe he did run some big, giant hashtag campaign. Maybe he pestered mainstream people to say, "Steph got deplatformed, you can find him here." Right?
00:18:52 "Steph got deplatformed, you can find him here. Steph got deplatformed, you can find him here."
00:18:56 You know, "Let's get out and support this guy. He's given us fantastic free philosophy for 15 years. He's given free books. He's really supported people.
00:19:04 He's charitably helped people in his show get into therapy and paid for their bills at times. Just let's support this guy. He's getting hammered. Let's make sure we get people to his new platform."
00:19:18 Again, tell me if this makes sense to you. And again, please understand, I'm not saying he should have done this. I'm just saying that it's possible to do something like that, right?
00:19:29 One to ten, how passionate should I get? I feel it, but I don't want to pump it. I feel it, but I don't want to pump it. Don't give me tens.
00:19:47 Oh, oh, oh, god. Street Cow, still have Street Cow, I didn't even desire to level. Nine. Okay, no, I'll go with nine. Let's fucking go. All right.
00:20:04 I looked up the email, wasn't a donor. Again, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, it's not like I'll only listen to you if you donate. I absolutely will. I don't care. People want to call and show. I don't check if they donate.
00:20:16 So again, maybe he did a different email, but didn't seem to, right? But I know, did you guys ever see a movement called #SupportStef, #NewFreeDomainPlatform, #PhilosophyLifeboat?
00:20:31 Did you ever see any kind of movement or any kind of hashtag or any kind of organization to get people to the new platforms, right? I didn't. And that would have been really nice, to be honest with you.
00:20:46 It would have been really nice, because I would have felt, you know, cared for, loved, supported. In a tough time, they kind of let me slither down the well. And now, that's, I'm not bitter. No, I mean, I'm not bitter.
00:21:02 But I didn't see any, "Wow, you know, we've got to make sure that we keep the show going. Here's an extra donation. I'm going to work this hard. I bought some ads. I spent 20 bucks on ads on wherever to get people to your new platform."
00:21:19 I'm telling all my friends, I didn't get any, nobody linked me to like, "They're really discussing you on this message board and making sure they're getting the word out."
00:21:26 They just watched me vanish. Oh, Steph's gone? Yeah, I guess that's true. I guess I haven't really seen him in six months, right?
00:21:40 Like, I got, "Wah!" Right? I got yoinked. I got de-spawned, right? And people barely even heard the sonic pop of me dematerializing. Right? I mean, maybe I was missing something, and I'm happy to get your feedback, but I saw nothing.
00:22:04 Now, again, that's fine. I actually, because I love what I'm doing now, and I love these kinds of conversations, I'm not complaining about it. And, you know, in many ways, I can certainly understand that they were kind of doing me a favor, right? Does this sort of make sense?
00:22:22 Now, yeah, leftists do the hashtag campaigns, but I really don't see conservatives doing that. No, no, no, conservatives absolutely do hashtag campaigns. I guarantee you, I've been in this world off and on for 20 years.
00:22:38 Conservatives absolutely, completely, and totally, they reach out. I mean, look at what happened with Carl Rittenhouse and the amount of support that he got, and the, you know, "We've got to set up a GoFundMe, and we've got to set up this Russell Brand."
00:22:51 You know, when Kavanaugh was being attacked, there were incredible outpourings of support for those under attack. That absolutely, completely, and totally happens among conservatives on the right, or the dissident media, or whatever you want to call it, the truckers, and all that kind of stuff, right?
00:23:13 So, from what I could see, that did not happen or occur when I was attacked. Does this make sense? Again, I want to make sure that I'm not going too fast or too slow for that case, right?
00:23:39 For whatever motive, for whatever reason, it doesn't matter, and I'll never know, because if people are proud of not supporting me, I can't even imagine how, but if they're not proud of it, then they'll never give the honest reasons as to why they didn't, if that makes sense, right?
00:23:57 Now, so this is the wild thing. So, after changing millions of people's lives and, you know, helping to jumpstart the careers of dozens of people in the media and so on, when I was gone, I wouldn't say there was a collective sigh of relief, but it was kind of close to that, if that makes any sense.
00:24:26 It was kind of close to that. And again, no issues, no problems, I'm an empiricist, I just absorb information, right? Now, here's the thing.
00:24:41 Yeah, nobody set up GoFundMes, nobody set up GIFs and Go's, nobody set up any kind of whatever, right? So, this person, who maybe was a donor, but I didn't see it, but the most important thing is, I guarantee you that he had not set up any kind of philosophy, hashtag philosophy lifeboat, let's get to, Steph, to the new platforms, right?
00:25:10 So, when I was being taken down, there was no support for me in general, for the most part, right?
00:25:26 Now, again, this is not a bitter thing, it's just an empirical fact thing, and if there's stuff I've missed, I don't want to be unfair, you can let me know. Now, this is the wild thing, is that this person, who was very, very keen for me to stay in politics or to do whatever it is that I was doing that he liked, I can't remember exactly what it was, but he wanted me to have not made the choices that I made a couple years ago to get out of politics.
00:25:55 And the people who enjoyed me being in politics absolutely scattered and ran when I was de-platformed, and did not support me at all, right?
00:26:10 There weren't giant letter-writing campaigns, there weren't, we've got a, and there weren't boycotts, well, if you don't bring Steph back, or, you know, we're going to boycott, or whatever, there weren't, people weren't quitting those platforms, again, man, I've seen these things elsewhere, it didn't happen for me, and we can sort of get into those reasons either later tonight or another time if you're interested.
00:26:31 But the important thing is this, I get a lot of messages from people saying, I'm sorry, it is kind of funny, it is, honestly, I genuinely find it kind of funny, and I don't mean this in a contemptuous way, but when I say it, maybe it'll sort of make sense.
00:26:50 I get a lot of people who abandoned me in my hour of, you know, not insignificant need, and what they are genuinely angry, hurt, and upset about is they say, Steph, you abandoned us.
00:27:12 Do you follow? Do you see how jaw-dropping that is? I don't mean to laugh, but it is kind of funny when you think about it, right? How dare you, Steph, abandon us!
00:27:32 I know it seems like a funny thing to laugh about. You just cut and ran, man, you didn't stand up for us, you didn't support us, you just left, man, you just abandoned us!
00:27:52 So, I mean, sort of what I'm saying is that I don't want people, like, I don't want you guys to feel helpless in your life, right?
00:28:02 Now, the reason why most people feel helpless in their lives is one reason, and it's not an obvious reason at all, but it's really, really important to massage this shit into your scalp, your nads, your glutes, wherever, right?
00:28:23 Do you know why most people feel helpless, and then they get frustrated, and then they lash out? Do you know why most people feel helpless? Maybe this is you, too.
00:28:48 They don't believe what they say they believe, because they see the cause of their trouble in others always. No.
00:28:59 They don't take responsibility. But why? Why don't they take responsibility?
00:29:05 I mean, helplessness is when you feel you have no effect on it, so you feel like you don't have responsibility or can't have responsibility.
00:29:13 Why do people feel so helpless? When I tell you this, this is going to shock your spinal cord. I'll tell you why.
00:29:26 This might hurt a little. It hurt when I first realized this about myself. Maybe I'm more singular this way. I'm just telling you right up front, this is going to lacerate your nads a little, all right?
00:29:37 Bring it. Are you sure? No. People feel helpless because, because they give themselves permission to complain. You follow?
00:30:00 People feel helpless because they give themselves permission to complain.
00:30:11 Why does that follow?
00:30:15 This guy didn't organize a giant #safestef campaign or whatever it took to get people over to the news sites, right?
00:30:28 He didn't do it because he can nag me later. He can complain about me and to me and at me later. And he thinks that that is a course of action.
00:30:45 So he doesn't have to organize people to support me because he can just complain about me. Does that make sense?
00:30:58 You understand? This is like monster deep stuff.
00:31:07 If your girlfriend doesn't really want to have sex with you, you're paralyzed if you give yourself permission to complain about it. Do you follow?
00:31:25 Oh, she doesn't do this, she doesn't do that. Women, if you give yourself permission to complain, the price of complaining is helplessness, paralysis.
00:31:39 It's kind of like being dead in your own skin, in the coffin of your own flesh, dying on the inside.
00:31:49 Does that make sense?
00:31:58 How do you not give yourself permission to complain? Ah, that's a great question.
00:32:06 How do you give yourself permission to not jump off a building? How do you give yourself permission when you're grating cheese to not grate your elbow at the same time?
00:32:21 What's the difference between complaining and whining? Three notches on a rope. The difference between complaining and whining?
00:32:43 Any situations where it's okay to give yourself permission to complain? When it's not your fault at all and you're genuinely helpless to do anything about it, sure.
00:32:53 It's not your fault at all and you're helpless to do anything about it. Yeah.
00:33:02 But those situations are so extraordinarily rare that you might as well give yourself no permission to complain.
00:33:16 It's a cost-benefit weighing, right? Now, if your girlfriend doesn't seem to want to have sex with you, complaining says, "I can't do anything about it."
00:33:31 Does that make sense?
00:33:38 So, because you give yourself permission to complain, you don't have to do what you need to do to generate sexual interest from your girlfriend.
00:33:49 So, what do you do to generate sexual interest from your girlfriend?
00:33:59 Be curious? Yeah. Maybe.
00:34:06 Turn on free domain? Well, free domain is the ultimate turn on.
00:34:10 Romance and authenticity, be attractive, make more money?
00:34:18 Well, I mean, you could learn some exotic sexual techniques. You could start working out ferociously. You could watch what you eat. You could make sure that you're healthy so that you can have optimum sexual functioning.
00:34:30 You can do any number of things.
00:34:37 You could make sure that you both get your health checked to make sure that there's nothing physical that could be interfering with a healthy sex life.
00:34:45 There's so much that you could do.
00:34:49 Maybe she's depressed. Maybe she's really anxious about something.
00:34:53 Maybe you've behaved in a way that to turn off to her because she can't look up to you for whatever reason, you've done something dishonorable or, you know, which we're all going to do from time to time, but you haven't dealt with it, you haven't, right?
00:35:05 Maybe you've been distracted. Maybe you're focusing more on your phone than on her.
00:35:08 Maybe you're boring. Maybe you just do Netflix night after night.
00:35:11 Maybe you don't go anywhere. Maybe you don't do anything. Maybe this is just a grind and a dull, like Conan going round and round in a circle for 10 years straight.
00:35:22 Date nights, yeah, but it's not, you know, date nights and communication is the standard answer.
00:35:26 But you need something. There's something you can do.
00:35:35 What if she is manipulating you?
00:35:42 You're not going to try and get another rant out of me this soon, are you?
00:35:45 I'm spent like a 1940s penny.
00:35:48 What if she is manipulating you?
00:35:52 Oh my God.
00:35:57 What if she is manipulating you?
00:36:01 Give me an example. Give me an example of how she is manipulating you.
00:36:07 You say using sex as a weapon. What does that mean?
00:36:10 Like she won't give you sex unless you do what she wants? Is that right?
00:36:16 Like the women who say, "I'm just, I'm so stressed from doing all this housework. I really, I can't think of romance right now.
00:36:22 Maybe if some of this housework load was sort of taken off me, I'd be, I'd feel better."
00:36:27 Okay. I don't know what sexual blackmail means, unless you are a very sexual black male.
00:36:35 I don't know what sexual blackmail means in this particular context.
00:36:39 But what does it mean?
00:36:41 So let's say she's using sex as a weapon. Let's say that she gives you sex or withholds sex based upon you doing what she wants.
00:36:49 Okay? Let's say she's doing that, right? Let's say she's doing that.
00:36:54 Can we agree that that's obviously a kind of sexual manipulation, just because I don't know what happened to the person who made this comment or question?
00:37:01 Can we agree with that? Yes. Okay. All right.
00:37:04 So what's the solution to a woman or a man who is giving and withholding benefits in order to try and train you into a kind of compliance?
00:37:19 What's the solution to that?
00:37:31 Ask her what she wants. Comply or leave. That's one solution. That's one solution.
00:37:43 Let's take the typical example. Why would a woman withhold sex or provide sex in order to get you to do what she wants?
00:37:51 Why would she do that?
00:37:54 Why would she do that? I wouldn't say force to do that, but why would she do that?
00:37:57 What would be the fundamental feeling that that's covering up?
00:38:09 She's helpless with any other method, but why is she helpless with any other method?
00:38:15 Because she doesn't believe she has good reasons? Well, she might have good reasons.
00:38:23 Because it works and the guy doesn't listen. She's angry. She doesn't have any other value.
00:38:34 The reason that people manipulate you is they don't feel worthy of asking you.
00:38:46 They don't feel worthy of asking you.
00:38:53 They don't feel that you will do it because you care about them and love them.
00:39:01 They don't feel worthy of honorable reciprocal kindness and conciliation. Does this make sense?
00:39:16 I mean, to take an extreme example, poor people who riot in order to keep their benefits flowing
00:39:21 don't believe that they could get those benefits through charity,
00:39:27 through an honest explanation of what they did wrong and what they need.
00:39:31 They manipulate, they bully, they aggress because they don't feel worthy of kindness.
00:39:45 They don't feel that they're worth getting what they want by asking nicely.
00:39:54 They have, yeah, and so they rely on the kindness of strangers, well, and the fear of intimates.
00:40:03 You see, you know this typical thing, "Why would you listen to what women want?
00:40:08 They don't even know what they want to eat, right?"
00:40:17 Why are women indirect about what they want? Because they believe, whether they're right or not, doesn't matter,
00:40:26 they believe that they have not provided enough value that you will do what they want because you love them.
00:40:34 Does that make sense?
00:40:39 Can these people just be selfish?
00:40:43 Selfish is just a little term of verbal abuse that doesn't provide any understanding.
00:40:47 Why are they selfish? Why?
00:40:50 Why are they, I mean, just saying, "Well, that's selfish, that's the end of the road, done.
00:40:55 No more curiosity, no more asking."
00:40:57 And if you're going to say to someone, "You've got a girlfriend and she manipulates you,"
00:41:02 and you say, "Well, she's just selfish," then just break up.
00:41:05 There's no curiosity, there's no exploration, there's no understanding, there's no depth,
00:41:09 there's no knowledge, there's no intimacy, there's no exploration.
00:41:14 Somebody manipulates you, you can look them in the eye and say, "Do you not think I'll do it because you ask?"
00:41:21 "Do you not think I'll do it because you ask?"
00:41:25 Now, why would someone not think you'll do it because she asks?
00:41:36 Why would someone not assume you'll do it because you ask?
00:41:41 Let me ask you this. Do you have someone in your life, or more than one person in your life,
00:41:45 they ask you to do it, you do it.
00:41:47 "Can you do this for me?" "Yes."
00:41:52 "You need to know because your sister has an extreme case of this?"
00:42:10 I have people in my life, they never have to ask me if I'll do it,
00:42:16 they just have to tell me what they want. Does this make sense?
00:42:23 They never have to ask me if I'll do it, they just need to tell me what they want.
00:42:34 Of course I will. Of course I will. Of course I will. Absolutely.
00:42:45 How do you get there where you have a friction-free relationship,
00:42:50 the other person asks you to do something, you just say yes, you just do it.
00:42:56 It's not even a negotiation, it's not a "Well, you have to do this for me later,"
00:42:59 it's not a trade, it's just... do it. How do you get there?
00:43:19 My daughter says, "Would you like to go for a walk? I want to talk to you about something."
00:43:24 I mean, am I ever going to say no?
00:43:31 That's how you start with relationships? I do not advise that.
00:43:36 That seems like a giant recipe for exploitation, but I could be wrong.
00:43:40 Maybe you're surrounded by angels.
00:43:43 Maybe eventually you say no to your daughter.
00:43:49 Well, no, I say no to my daughter, of course.
00:43:54 I mean, if she says, "Do you think I should have another cookie?" I might say no.
00:44:07 How do you get to the place where you say yes before somebody finishes asking you?
00:44:16 Because, I mean, wouldn't you admit... oh, sorry, wouldn't you agree that that's a pretty good place to be?
00:44:27 Are you never in a situation where you may be in the middle of something,
00:44:30 like recording a show, and say you'll go for a walk later?
00:44:35 What? What are you talking about?
00:44:42 Okay, my friend, Sapantha, what's the answer to his question?
00:44:51 Like, let's say I'm doing this show, she pokes her head in the door and says,
00:44:54 "Dad, I really need to talk to you. I want to go for a walk, and I really need to talk to you."
00:45:03 What's the answer to that objection?
00:45:09 What's the answer to that objection?
00:45:16 Of course, honey, I'll be there in five minutes.
00:45:18 Not necessarily. What's the answer to that question?
00:45:23 No. Oh, this is a "you guys need this."
00:45:27 You need this.
00:45:31 All right.
00:45:33 You guys have seen how many of these live streams,
00:45:36 how many times have you seen my daughter poke her head in and say
00:45:39 she desperately needs to talk to me during a live stream?
00:45:45 No. She knows it can wait.
00:45:48 So this is the key.
00:45:49 She doesn't ask me to do things that are unjust or unfair or unreasonable.
00:45:54 So that's why I say yes. Do you see what I mean?
00:46:00 My wife's not going to wake me up and say,
00:46:02 "Hey, let's go skydiving without parachutes today."
00:46:07 So how do you get to the place of trust when you just say yes to someone, no matter what?
00:46:13 It's they don't ask you for unreasonable things.
00:46:15 They don't ask you for unfair things.
00:46:17 They don't ask you to manage their own emotions by obeying their
00:46:20 internal mother's commandments or something like that.
00:46:26 If something that was a big emergency did happen and my daughter had an accident
00:46:29 or needed my help, I would, of course, shut down the live stream and go and help her.
00:46:34 Sure, you have conditioned her for that.
00:46:37 That is a really, really freaking cynical way of putting it.
00:46:41 You think I've conditioned my daughter for that?
00:46:46 That's cold, man. That's really brutal, by the way.
00:46:49 That's just a horrible way of putting it.
00:46:51 Programmed her, man. No.
00:47:00 The way that you get people to say yes to you without manipulation is
00:47:04 don't ask them for unreasonable things.
00:47:12 I think he meant that you modeled good behavior for Izzy.
00:47:18 Well, you don't know what he meant. What are you intervening for?
00:47:22 He can speak for himself.
00:47:23 Don't jump in like some middle sibling when mommy and daddy are fighting.
00:47:26 You don't know what he meant. Oh, my God.
00:47:32 Crazy.
00:47:34 That's a bad habit, man.
00:47:36 Oh, someone's got a conflict. I've got to smooth it over.
00:47:38 I've got to explain to the other person.
00:47:40 That's just, come on, man.
00:47:44 Don't do that. Let people have their conflicts.
00:47:47 We're not your family.
00:47:49 You don't need to manage us.
00:47:51 We're all big boys here, big boys and girls.
00:47:54 Don't do it.
00:47:56 You see, that's asking us to manage your feelings,
00:48:00 to distract ourselves from our conflict, to manage your feelings.
00:48:03 That's an unreasonable thing to say.
00:48:12 So don't ask people for unreasonable things.
00:48:18 If you feel the urge to manipulate someone,
00:48:20 it's because you don't think they'll say yes to you if you just ask them.
00:48:27 Right?
00:48:29 So why wouldn't someone do something that you asked them to do?
00:48:35 Maybe you've blown your credibility by demanding
00:48:38 that they do unreasonable things.
00:48:42 By demanding that, you know, maybe the typical example is,
00:48:45 the woman is in a bad mood, she looks around the place,
00:48:47 she blames the mess around the place or her bad mood,
00:48:50 she gets angry at her family and demands that they clean up to fix her mood.
00:48:54 But she doesn't say that.
00:48:55 She doesn't say, "I'm in a bad mood. I need you to clean up to fix my mood."
00:48:58 She says, "This place is such a mess. I can't believe you let it get this way.
00:49:02 I spend my whole day cleaning. You never listen.
00:49:04 You never pick up after your sister pulls all this moral stuff out of her armpit."
00:49:08 Without being honest.
00:49:09 So then she's demanding this clean up and everyone knows it's nonsense, right?
00:49:12 Everyone knows it's nonsense, right?
00:49:14 I'm sure you've seen the meme and it's actually pretty common these days, right?
00:49:18 And the meme goes something like this.
00:49:20 The woman is complaining because the man left his Xbox controller
00:49:24 on the kitchen counter and she says, "This goes here."
00:49:26 And then he takes her upstairs and he points out the bathroom.
00:49:31 The bathroom, which has how much of her stuff and how much of his stuff.
00:49:36 Her stuff is spilling all over the place, sticking out of the drawers, right?
00:49:40 And then he's got like, what do men have?
00:49:43 We have one thing for brushing our teeth, washing our hair, cutting our toenails.
00:49:49 So we have one blob thing that's about it.
00:49:57 Yeah, like my mom, this woman says, "My mom's stomping around saying,
00:50:01 'I'm so sick of picking up everyone's shit.'"
00:50:04 Right.
00:50:06 Does that make you, "Bathroom counters should be clear of all items."
00:50:14 Yeah. All right.
00:50:16 Okay, everyone can have their own little rules.
00:50:18 And if you want to inflict those rules, that's fine.
00:50:20 But just recognize the most important thing to have with your partner is credibility.
00:50:28 The most important thing to have with your partner is credibility.
00:50:32 And if you want to burn up your credibility with bathroom counters,
00:50:37 hey man, that wouldn't be my choice, but that's your choice if you want, right?
00:50:43 Partner, like business.
00:50:47 This is a lot of speed bumps in this conversation from y'all, right?
00:50:54 I can point at the bathroom, my fiancé can point at my 3D printing desk.
00:51:00 Yeah, but your 3D printing desk is used for the production of material,
00:51:04 I assume, that's important for your financial survival.
00:51:08 For a woman to focus on her attractiveness significantly
00:51:14 when she's already in a monogamous relationship is unhealthy.
00:51:20 Absolutely unhealthy.
00:51:24 It's disrespectful.
00:51:27 "No, I'm just doing it to look good for him." No.
00:51:30 No. No.
00:51:33 You dress more conservatively when you're in a monogamous relationship
00:51:37 out of respect for your partner.
00:51:40 So if you've got, you know, I need mountains of creams and nights and lipstick
00:51:46 and blah blah blah blah blah, and it's like, "Meh, no."
00:51:51 Let me show you something. I was going to do a little show on this,
00:51:54 but I'll just sort of mention it.
00:51:56 There's a new film with a woman who, she was a real beauty back in the 80s,
00:52:00 and maybe even still since, right?
00:52:04 She was a real beauty.
00:52:09 Oh yeah, and now she's in a movie called NIAID.
00:52:13 And I guess like Annie Lennox in the Bear album cover,
00:52:16 the NIAID movie is...
00:52:21 Let me just go here.
00:52:24 Yeah, I will show you. So this is Jodie Foster and Annette Bening.
00:52:29 Jodie Foster and Annette Bening.
00:52:32 Jodie Foster was never a great beauty.
00:52:34 She got her start as a teenage prostitute and taxi driver in the 70s, I guess.
00:52:39 Annette Bening famously told Warren Beatty in some movie about Vegas
00:52:47 to go jerk himself a soda or something, and she was very charming.
00:52:50 I actually studied Annette Bening's conversational things,
00:52:54 conversational styles and habits in the movie Bugsy or whatever it was,
00:53:00 about Las Vegas in order to do one of the characters in Almost.
00:53:06 So let's see here.
00:53:08 So this is...
00:53:14 Oh, was it way too graphic with sexual abuse?
00:53:17 It's horrible trying to find movies that kids can watch.
00:53:21 All right. So this is a great beauty and a very attractive woman from the 70s,
00:53:29 and 80s, and this is them now.
00:53:36 And the woman on the right, a real beauty.
00:53:39 She was also in American Beauty.
00:53:41 She was in American Beauty, played the tightly wound, audio tape addicted wife.
00:53:49 Aging is brutal on some actresses.
00:53:51 Oh, no, man. Oh, no. You don't understand.
00:53:56 Sorry to be annoying. You don't understand.
00:54:01 Aging is brutal on everyone.
00:54:08 You say, "Oh, but Tom Cruise."
00:54:10 Okay, but Tom Cruise, I assume, has had a lot of work done,
00:54:14 and Tom Cruise is lit in a particular kind of way, wears makeup for his movies.
00:54:21 Nicole Kidman, yeah, she looks great, but she stays out of the sun.
00:54:24 You want to have a life, right?
00:54:26 Honestly, I don't mind how they looked in NIAID.
00:54:34 You're lucky to look like this.
00:54:36 This is success for a human organism.
00:54:40 To look like this is success for a human organism.
00:54:44 Do you understand?
00:54:46 This is as good as it gets.
00:54:51 You can make fun of them.
00:54:55 Yeah, Kim K says she doesn't like laughing because wrinkles, right?
00:55:01 They look fine to you.
00:55:03 Oh, God.
00:55:08 Oh, man.
00:55:11 All right, I will give you a picture of Annette Bening in Another Life.
00:55:26 Let's see if I can find a young picture of Annette Bening.
00:55:31 I mean, she's got great charisma.
00:55:32 She's a good actress and all of that.
00:55:35 Maybe I can't really find any older pictures of her, but yeah,
00:55:39 she was--yeah, here we go.
00:55:46 She was one of the ten most beautiful women in the world.
00:55:53 This is nothing against Annette Bening.
00:55:54 Of course, nothing against Annette Bening.
00:55:56 I mean, she's aging gracefully.
00:55:58 She's obviously staying healthy and all kinds of good stuff, right?
00:56:03 What the hell is that kind of file?
00:56:06 Let's see.
00:56:07 Will this upload?
00:56:11 Yeah, she's 60, right?
00:56:17 Yeah, okay.
00:56:20 I don't know why this is so hard to just get a picture.
00:56:25 I don't know what kind of file that is.
00:56:26 All right, let me just do a quick screen grab here.
00:56:28 And this is important, right?
00:56:31 This is important because there are a lot of people out there who are beauty addicts.
00:56:41 Oh, yeah, this is not a copy/paste.
00:56:44 All right, hang on a sec here.
00:56:47 Boom, all right, let me save this.
00:56:49 Okay, so this here we will do.
00:56:54 This is her when she was one of the top ten most beautiful women in the world.
00:57:00 All right?
00:57:05 So that's Annette Bening when she was younger.
00:57:08 I will re-upload the picture of her now.
00:57:11 And again, no disrespect to her at all.
00:57:16 This is nothing negative.
00:57:22 And I get, "Oh, it's better than Botox and black."
00:57:25 I understand all of that.
00:57:26 I appreciate all of that.
00:57:27 I've got no problem with any of that.
00:57:30 I'm just saying this is the best case scenario.
00:57:34 You know, she's obviously taking care of her skin.
00:57:36 She was, I assume, a model for a while.
00:57:38 She looked beautiful and was beautiful when she was younger, a great deal of charisma.
00:57:42 Jesus Christ, this text shit not working, right?
00:57:46 Just upload the freaking file.
00:57:48 It's not too complicated, is it?
00:57:50 Yeah, it doesn't seem to be working.
00:57:51 All right, well, you'll just have to scroll up to see the other file, right?
00:58:02 That is the same person.
00:58:04 Yeah, she was gorgeous.
00:58:07 Now, the best case scenario is you end up looking like the shit-ass end of a donkey.
00:58:13 Listen, I know this.
00:58:14 I was a hottie when I was a teenager.
00:58:17 I'm sure you've seen this picture.
00:58:18 I'll throw it up again just in case it's been a while for people.
00:58:21 But yeah, I was like a good-looking teenager and all of that.
00:58:31 The best case scenario is none of this shit is going to last.
00:58:37 None of this stuff is going to last.
00:58:44 And yet, right?
00:58:46 And yet, everybody wants it to, and everybody believes that--
00:58:49 I get this.
00:58:50 Everybody believes that they're going to be immune from all of this stuff,
00:58:53 and it's not going to follow them, and you're going to somehow escape
00:59:00 the giant hollow-eyed fists of time and all that.
00:59:09 So look, that's me at, I don't know, 20 or something like that, right?
00:59:15 A little bit of a difference, wouldn't you say?
00:59:17 It's a little bit of a difference, right?
00:59:22 A little bit of a difference.
00:59:28 I swear I'm better at 50 than in my 20s.
00:59:31 You're wrong.
00:59:32 You're wrong.
00:59:36 You're wrong.
00:59:38 It's just not a thing.
00:59:41 It's not a thing.
00:59:45 And look, I mean, I weigh the same as I did when I was 18,
00:59:49 and I still have a jawline, and I do an okay as far as all of that goes, right?
00:59:57 I mean, I don't think I look like I'm 57, but it is a fact, right?
01:00:04 Yeah, look, I'm fine with my looks and all of that,
01:00:06 but just stop bragging about your jawline.
01:00:09 I'm not bragging about it. It's just a fact, right?
01:00:11 Although I, you know, did chew gum, and I've kept my weight down,
01:00:14 and I exercise and all of that.
01:00:18 It's easier for men, I think, because women don't value looks as much as men.
01:00:22 It's not easier for men.
01:00:23 You think aging is easier for men?
01:00:25 What are you talking about?
01:00:29 Do you know what the hard part is about aging for men?
01:00:32 The hardest part about aging for men
01:00:37 is it's the loss of your physical strength and vitality.
01:00:44 I hate the idea of being physically weak while being old.
01:00:46 Yeah, absolutely, but it's the loss of your physical abilities.
01:00:50 I don't feel like I can just go and sprint anymore.
01:00:54 Like, you know, that old guy shuffle where you're just kind of not lifting your legs?
01:00:57 I have to do that a little bit.
01:00:58 Like, I can still do an hour, whatever it is, plus of racket sports and all of that,
01:01:03 but I've got to be careful.
01:01:06 Like, I was doing some jumping game with my daughter,
01:01:10 and I just pulled my calf.
01:01:12 Why? Why?
01:01:14 No, don't pull my calf, but I did, because I'm 57.
01:01:18 So, you just can't, I mean, I never used to have to think about,
01:01:21 can I do this or not physically?
01:01:23 What's the cost-benefit?
01:01:24 Can I do this or not physically?
01:01:29 Yeah, you hate that you can't jump as high anymore.
01:01:31 Yeah, because as a man, your physical competence, your strength,
01:01:35 your capacity to just do impulsive things.
01:01:39 I can't go through a day without stretching.
01:01:41 God help me, if I try and sleep, I get jimmy-legs something fierce,
01:01:44 although that's been around since my teens.
01:01:46 But yeah, your springiness, your recovery time,
01:01:49 you know, like I measured my heart rate the other day, I'm 48 beats a minute.
01:01:53 That's really good resting rate.
01:01:56 Yeah, you like your strength as much as a young woman would like her beauty.
01:01:59 Yes, of course.
01:02:02 You turn 57, yeah, well, the good old father time, right?
01:02:08 Yeah, Vincent McMahon's in his 70s.
01:02:09 Yeah, he's using a cane, although that guy works out a lot, right?
01:02:12 And actually a really underrated actor.
01:02:14 But I've lost an inch in height since my teens, yeah.
01:02:19 Jimmy-legs, jimmy-legs is just when you just get this tension on your hamstrings.
01:02:23 So, when I was a kid, I don't know if you care about any of this medical history,
01:02:26 but when I was a kid, I had something called lumbago,
01:02:28 where my bones were growing faster than my tendons.
01:02:32 And I have very short tendons.
01:02:33 I've never been able to touch my toes, even though I've done yoga.
01:02:36 I did stretching every day for 40 minutes in theater school.
01:02:39 I have really short tendons.
01:02:41 And yeah, 48 heart rate at rest.
01:02:44 Yeah, that's very good, right?
01:02:45 I mean, it's very good.
01:02:47 So, well, that's why your calves were hurting.
01:02:50 No, my calves are hurting because I'm older,
01:02:52 because I've done jumping games and all of that stuff before.
01:02:54 I never had a problem.
01:02:55 It's just as you age, you've got to shrink a little here and there.
01:02:59 You've just got to shrink your expectations a little here and there, right?
01:03:05 I think that means you're healthy, actually.
01:03:07 I don't know what that means.
01:03:11 So, it's just important to remember.
01:03:20 Oh, yeah, what is it?
01:03:22 There's a kind of fat that women are getting sucked out of their faces these days
01:03:25 to try and get the cheekbone thing, the model face, right?
01:03:30 Try and get your--
01:03:35 Yeah, try and get your--
01:03:40 I can't remember the name of it, but I saw it the other day.
01:03:42 Yeah, some kind of fat.
01:03:43 Yeah, buccal or buccal fat removal.
01:03:46 And it's like, oh, my God.
01:03:47 Like, I saw the profile.
01:03:49 Have you seen this profile of Ivanka Trump?
01:03:51 How much it's changed.
01:03:53 She's gone from, like, anime, cutie doll to, like, you know, chisel-faced,
01:03:56 half-Greek, Herodotus hero face, and it's just bizarre, right?
01:04:01 It's bizarre.
01:04:06 For men, excellent strength can be maintained up until the mid-60s on average.
01:04:09 Even men in their 80s can gain a lot of strength and turn their lives around
01:04:12 staying out of the nursing home and hospital bed.
01:04:15 Yeah, Mitch, I get that.
01:04:16 We're not talking about that.
01:04:17 We're not talking about that.
01:04:20 We're not talking about whether men can lift weights.
01:04:22 We're talking about how, when you get older, you get physically limited.
01:04:30 When you get older, you get physically limited.
01:04:35 How did this conversation go from people abandoning you when you got canceled
01:04:38 to this?
01:04:39 That's also annoying.
01:04:41 That's also annoying because you're trying to get us out of the flow
01:04:43 of conversation, right?
01:04:46 You're unable to follow the flow of the conversation,
01:04:48 so you want to give us an ironic eye on our own conversation.
01:04:51 Just personally, I find that kind of annoying.
01:04:53 It doesn't mean I'm right.
01:04:54 I'm just saying I find that kind of annoying.
01:04:56 The reason we got here is because we were talking about controlling
01:05:02 and managing other people and how to have credibility with those,
01:05:05 and then we went to beauty, and then we went to aging, and all of that.
01:05:09 If you're not able to follow, that's fine, but if you get lost,
01:05:13 that doesn't mean you have to yell how lost everyone else is, right?
01:05:16 Just follow me in the conversation just fine.
01:05:18 "At 15," says Dave, "I could fall full speed on a skateboard and be okay
01:05:23 or run miles on the lacrosse field and bear people with a stick and be able
01:05:26 to play again the next day over and over.
01:05:28 No way now at late 40s."
01:05:29 Yeah, I used to get up, I used to go for a run, and then I would go
01:05:34 and play baseball, and then I would go for a long walk.
01:05:37 I'd never need to think, "Oh, I've got to stretch."
01:05:40 Now I have to stretch before I do everything.
01:05:43 I have to stretch before I do everything.
01:05:45 I'm going to pull something, or there's going to be some tenderness
01:05:47 or something like that.
01:05:48 So you just have to manage and shrink and lower your expectations.
01:05:52 I mean, did you see what happened with Mark Zuckerberg?
01:05:55 What was it, last week?
01:05:57 Was it last week?
01:05:58 Something that happened with Mark Zuckerberg.
01:06:00 He's doing all of this retarded martial arts stuff.
01:06:05 What is it, taekwondo or something?
01:06:06 He's doing absolutely retarded taekwondo stuff.
01:06:11 Oh, he did more than tear his tendon.
01:06:13 He completely destroyed his ACL.
01:06:15 Is he doing MMA, like mixed martial arts?
01:06:17 The guy's got kids.
01:06:19 What the fuck are you doing mixed martial arts?
01:06:22 What, is he in his 40s?
01:06:29 It's terrible.
01:06:31 Yeah, he tore his ACL.
01:06:32 He's got a year-long recovery now.
01:06:33 Don't they have to repair it using your knee tendons?
01:06:37 It's just horrible, right?
01:06:39 What kind of stupid--he's trailing for the Elon Cage match.
01:06:42 What the fuck do we want to take two unbelievably brilliant people
01:06:46 and whatever you think of them, very good business managers,
01:06:49 why would we want to take them and have them beat each other around the head?
01:06:54 I don't understand this obsession.
01:06:56 We're trying to put people into Cage matches.
01:06:59 No, they don't need money.
01:07:01 Elon Musk's the richest guy in the world.
01:07:11 I don't understand.
01:07:14 Dave says, "I'm constantly measuring physical risks with probabilities of getting hurt now."
01:07:18 Yes, of course, because the other thing too is if you get hurt
01:07:24 and you're in your 40s or your 50s or whatever, how long does it take to recover?
01:07:28 A while, just a while.
01:07:32 Elon keeps pushing it for some reason.
01:07:34 Is--does he? I don't know.
01:07:37 I mean, I know that Elon Musk doesn't particularly enjoy being Elon Musk, right?
01:07:46 So you have to take care of yourself and that means not pushing yourself too hard.
01:07:53 Not pushing yourself too hard. This is really, really important.
01:07:59 How was it many years ago I watched a show--it was a hospital show,
01:08:02 was it Grey's Anatomy or something--where some guy came in with yet another injury
01:08:06 and he was in his, like, early 50s and he was still doing all these extreme sports
01:08:10 and all kind of stuff. It's just, ugh.
01:08:16 So, should we return to why people manipulate?
01:08:26 They manipulate because they don't feel worthy of asking.
01:08:31 Now, why don't they feel worthy of asking? I don't know.
01:08:35 I know that they don't feel worthy of asking.
01:08:39 Why don't they feel worthy of asking for what they want?
01:08:42 Let me ask you this. Do you feel worthy of asking for what you want
01:08:48 at work, at home, among friends? Do you feel worthy for simply asking for what you want
01:08:54 knowing that people will want to provide it?
01:08:59 Yes, no, yes, I don't. No. Yes, for the most part. Right?
01:09:11 Do you know how to grow someone into a manipulator?
01:09:16 Do you know how to raise a manipulator?
01:09:23 No? I bet some of you do.
01:09:27 I'm honestly not sure what you mean by worthy.
01:09:31 Well, why do you think--and it's funny, you know, when I ask people--
01:09:36 this is not a donation pitch, I'm just talking about donations
01:09:38 because it's an example we're all intimately familiar with here, right?
01:09:42 So, when I ask for people to support the show,
01:09:46 do you think I feel confident that I'm providing value
01:09:50 to ask for that value in return? Do you think I feel confident that I'm providing value?
01:09:55 Yeah, I mean, I know that through the grace of God or nature or whatever,
01:10:00 I am able to provide an absolutely unique kind of value in the world.
01:10:07 Like, there's nobody else who does what I do with as much variety as what I do, right?
01:10:15 So, yeah, so many shows and productions I can't keep up.
01:10:20 Well, I mean, remember, it's a 500-year business plan, it's not all for the present, right?
01:10:26 So, I'm comfortable asking for what I want and what I need
01:10:32 because I know that I'm providing value. I know that I'm providing value.
01:10:36 If people may disagree, that's totally fine. I know that I'm providing value.
01:10:40 If other people don't find that I'm providing value, it's because they can't assess value.
01:10:44 Like, that's how confident I am that I'm providing value, right?
01:10:49 I'm not asking you because I feel worthless if you don't donate.
01:10:53 I'm not asking you because I'm angry at non-donators.
01:10:57 I'm not asking you to manage my anxiety about the show's income.
01:11:01 I'm not asking you to make up for deplatforming or whatever it is, right?
01:11:05 Like, I know absolutely how much value I'm providing.
01:11:08 Absolutely, there's some people who can't hear or can't understand the value.
01:11:13 That's their limitations. It's got nothing to do with me.
01:11:16 Okay, so, your request is the opposite of nagging and manipulation.
01:11:20 Well, I think I have credibility in asking for it because I really do work to provide value.
01:11:25 Now, how do you train a kid to feel scared to ask for things?
01:11:33 That's really all it comes down to, right?
01:11:35 How do you train a kid to feel scared for asking for things?
01:11:43 Well, you punish him for his or her preferences. You follow?
01:11:49 You punish him for his or her preferences.
01:11:53 "Oh, you want this? Oh, well, that's a need.
01:11:57 Now that you've shown me a need, I'm going to take great, deep, sadistic pleasure
01:12:02 in saying, 'No, I'm sorry, we can't. Oh, that's not a good ask. Oh, that's inappropriate.
01:12:09 You had something yesterday. You don't need that. Be responsible. Be mature.
01:12:14 You just want that in the moment. Get angry. Get passive-aggressive.'
01:12:18 Punish a child for having preferences.
01:12:32 I mean, there's a whole section in my Peaceful Parenting book about how cruel parents are,
01:12:39 a lot of parents are, with their children's preferences.
01:12:43 To be needed is to have power, right? To be needed is to have power.
01:12:50 A lot of people will have children in order to feel power,
01:12:54 because the children need them for things.
01:13:06 I avoided telling my mother about anything I liked or wanted growing up because of that.
01:13:10 I was tortured for having needs. I'm sorry to hear that.
01:13:13 All kids have needs, and no kid can fulfill his or her own needs.
01:13:20 Does that make sense? I mean, when you're a baby, you're hungry.
01:13:25 Would condemnation be worse than punishment?
01:13:28 I don't understand that. Sorry if you could ask that in a different way.
01:13:31 I'm not sure how to process that one. It could be my flaw entirely, but...
01:13:36 I hid my preferences from my parents throughout my teens. Yeah.
01:13:46 You're not allowed to have preferences.
01:13:49 And God help you if you love something outside of the narcissistic needs of your parents.
01:14:00 Oh, God help you. God fucking help you.
01:14:04 If you love something outside the narcissistic needs of your parents.
01:14:08 Quick question. How do you think my family reacted to me falling in love with philosophy in my mid-teens?
01:14:17 How did my family react to me falling in love with philosophy in my mid-teens?
01:14:25 They hated it.
01:14:29 Well, they rolled their eyes. "You're nuts. You're just a randroid. You don't think for yourself.
01:14:34 You're just being programmed. You don't have any independent thought.
01:14:37 You used to be so much more interesting." Right?
01:14:42 How dare you have a lifesaver in our endless, drizzling, esophagus-stuffing reign?
01:14:53 Oh, do you have any actual arguments?
01:14:55 No, it's just, it's simplistic, it's formulaic.
01:15:00 What you like is you just need some kind of structure because your thoughts are chaotic,
01:15:05 but you just got to be authentic rather than follow somebody else's path.
01:15:08 It's like you're on a train track to nowhere.
01:15:10 Like you prefer philosophy to people. It's taking you away from everyone.
01:15:13 You're going to get lost out there in nothing.
01:15:18 Well, I may be onto something here. The worst people don't like what I'm doing.
01:15:25 Maybe that's something to guide by.
01:15:31 The worst was when, someone says, the worst was when I expressed a preference or idea.
01:15:36 My parents were like, "Who put that idea in your head?" Like I had no mind of my own.
01:15:43 They didn't like that I submitted myself to something other than them.
01:15:51 Do you follow?
01:15:55 They didn't like that I submitted myself to something other than them.
01:16:03 "Oh, I guess Ayn Rand is just your new mother now."
01:16:07 "No, she's my first mother. I don't know what the hell you were doing, but it weren't motherhood."
01:16:15 "Someone has to raise me and you ain't doing it."
01:16:19 "Someone has to teach me to think and you with your mystical psychic helmets to ward off bad mojo ain't doing it."
01:16:29 "God, I had to turn to a Russian woman to learn how to be a man."
01:16:35 "Because at least she could write positive and compelling male characters."
01:16:40 "Oh my God, you used to be so happy."
01:16:43 "No, I used to be empty and compliant. You used to be happier when I didn't think for myself."
01:16:48 "And I didn't think for myself. I fully admit that for sure."
01:16:54 "Thanks David, I appreciate that."
01:16:55 "Of course I didn't think for myself when I first learned philosophy."
01:16:58 "Of course not. That would be insane."
01:17:04 "It's funny, when I was a tennis player and I was playing semi-competitively and I got a coach."
01:17:10 "Because people thought I was pretty good, I got a coach."
01:17:14 "Hey, funny story, I kind of did what the coach said."
01:17:17 "Hey man, how come you're not just serving the way you want to serve?"
01:17:20 "It's like, because I have a coach who knows what they're doing, so I'm going to do what the coach says."
01:17:31 "Of course I'm going to be subject to somebody else's thoughts."
01:17:39 "You learn through emulation."
01:17:43 "I mean, can you imagine?"
01:17:46 "Your kids are growing up, they're learning English by listening to you and reading."
01:17:50 "And you say, 'Oh man, you're just a slave to my use of language."
01:17:53 "How come you don't make up your own language?"
01:18:00 "Oh my God, of course you have to imitate other people before you can become yourself."
01:18:06 "Of course you have to read other people's stories before you can write your own."
01:18:10 "Of course you have to listen to music for years before you write your own."
01:18:14 "Of course you have to be absorbed into somebody else's world view, if it's rational hopefully, before you become yourself."
01:18:24 I learned pretty quickly for a philosopher, it only took me like 20 years. Probably 15 to 35, about 20 years off and on.
01:18:31 I did have some of my own thoughts, and in particular in the art world, I did my own writing and poems and plays and novels.
01:18:37 But as far as philosophy goes, yeah, I was kind of a slave to Ayn Rand/Aristotle forever.
01:18:43 I would just look up the answers. Yeah, I got it.
01:18:46 And after about 20 years, not bad for philosophy.
01:18:49 After about 20 years, I'm like, starting to see some limitations.
01:19:01 Yeah. So, yeah, the reason, how you raise a manipulator.
01:19:05 "Steph, I feel appreciation for your coaching in philosophy." Thank you, I appreciate that.
01:19:10 Yeah, how do you raise a manipulator? You scorn, attack, and denigrate a child for having preferences.
01:19:19 You scorn and denigrate a child for having preferences.
01:19:23 That doesn't mean that you say yes to every one of your child's preferences.
01:19:28 "Why are you wasting time with finger paints at five years old? Go paint your own Sistine Chapel!" Yeah, of course.
01:19:35 You know, by saying you should never follow a master, they are condemning you to mediocrity.
01:19:42 You follow?
01:19:45 Parents saying you should never follow a master or a mistress, they are condemning you to mediocrity.
01:19:57 You follow?
01:20:00 "Let no man be your teacher." Yeah, think for yourself.
01:20:06 How am I supposed to think for myself when no one's told me how to think?
01:20:16 I don't understand that question, Joe, sorry.
01:20:24 And this is why my mother got angry at Ayn Rand for being my mother.
01:20:27 It's like, "I mean, I had to learn something, someone had to teach me."
01:20:39 "Can you tell us more about how and when and what you started to notice there were limitations in your learning with Rand and Aristotle once you finished your current thought?"
01:20:46 I can, but I have presentations on all of this.
01:20:51 I have, it's going to be a four-part, it's a three-part series on Objectivism, the Truth about Ayn Rand.
01:20:56 I have a whole series on Aristotle, I have a whole series on Plato, and I have a 22-part series on the History of Philosophers where I talk about the limitations of philosophers I've loved.
01:21:05 As I'm sure someone down the road will talk about my limitations if they love me.
01:21:12 I'm not sure I would be able to...
01:21:15 Why is Leonard Picoff the only known Canadian philosopher?
01:21:24 Because Canada is early England frozen in time and values compliance and conviviality, which requires murkiness and impenetrability.
01:21:34 Charles Taylor was a very famous Canadian political scientist and with great eagerness I took one of his year-long courses on politics.
01:21:42 I frankly could not tell you one fucking thing I learned from that talking head in an entire year.
01:21:47 Not one thing. I hope that you guys come out of, please God, I hope that you guys come out of each one of these shows with something that you can remember.
01:21:56 Something that's important, something that's valuable.
01:21:59 And I took a whole year reading, listening. I have my notes, I have my notebooks.
01:22:07 I learned nothing.
01:22:10 Nothing. A year.
01:22:14 That's not an accident.
01:22:17 Okay, tell me something from your first 20 years that you remember with goosebumps.
01:22:28 A year of what?
01:22:30 Should I... Tell me this.
01:22:33 When people aren't listening should I circle back?
01:22:36 Because I get a lot of this in this live stream.
01:22:38 You said what? Should I circle back with people who aren't listening or aren't paying attention?
01:22:44 No. Okay, I just wanted to check that. I want to make sure because I'm happy to circle back if people find it more valuable.
01:22:50 Yeah, this is all recorded. You can re-listen it and re-watch it.
01:22:53 But it's... Oh, you said something that people seem to find interesting. Could you just repeat it for me? Would you mind?
01:23:04 I took a year of political science from one of Canada's renowned political science philosophers. His name was Charles Taylor.
01:23:18 I'm listening to this while playing Black Ops Zombies.
01:23:24 Okay.
01:23:29 I get the leftovers then, right? The Twitch leftovers.
01:23:35 Learning how to think might be a good philosophical show.
01:23:38 Actually, forget that. I just want to get a parenting book first.
01:23:41 Yeah, learning how to think. I could do the...
01:23:46 Learning how to fly, learning to fly. I could do it to the Pink Floyd song.
01:23:53 Yeah, Art of the Argument is pretty good for that. Artoftheargument.com.
01:24:08 What did you get from your first 20 years? Listen, I'm aiming for goosebumps every time I do a show.
01:24:14 No matter how tired I am, I will try and summon those goosebump ghosts to pump across the wire.
01:24:27 I want to give you goosebumps at least once, hopefully twice, maybe even three times.
01:24:31 We can go through a threefer like we're 18. So, tell me something that you learned over the course of your first 20 years that still gives you goosebumps.
01:24:44 Realizing I was smarter than most adults. Well, those are horror goosebumps.
01:24:54 There's a lot more wisdom that I remember from the shows after you stopped politics. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
01:24:59 As a Canadian, I can agree that the country is based on mediocrity. Yeah, it's Japan with wide eyes.
01:25:08 Tall poppy syndrome is crazy in Canada.
01:25:13 Hmm, something I learned to go for the guy who would be my husband. But that happened after that, right?
01:25:20 I only remember getting goosebumps at a Christian summer camp. It was about being brave and taking a stand from what I remember.
01:25:26 So that's private, right? That had nothing to do with government schools or anything like that, right?
01:25:39 Found you at 19. The story of your enslavement is tingling. Yeah, I think so.
01:25:43 Australia too with the tall poppy syndrome? Oh yeah.
01:25:46 God forbid you stick out. God forbid you have any size or depth or grandeur or ambition.
01:25:54 Or thirst for any kind of glory or anything larger than life.
01:26:04 There is only one group of people anymore that the world will accept being larger than life.
01:26:15 There is only one group of people that the world will accept being larger than life.
01:26:25 Entertainers. Slave manipulators of the deep brain.
01:26:42 Now why is it that society allows for celebrities to be larger than life and nobody else?
01:26:51 Why do they promote celebrities not intellectuals or philosophers or anything like that?
01:26:56 Many people aren't into celebrities at all.
01:27:00 Yes but, yes but, yes but.
01:27:04 Yeah, absolutely. I'll just go past the checkout counter at the grocery store and I'll see all of the philosophical magazines there.
01:27:19 Because they will serve the beast. Well that's pretty true.
01:27:23 Celebrities are a way to live large with no effort.
01:27:28 No, I think it's because celebrities are allowed to be large because they make people feel small.
01:27:40 Do you see what I'm saying? Thank you, I appreciate that very kind word and thank you for your support.
01:27:51 Beauty, right? Beauty. To worship the beautiful is to feel ugly. Do you follow?
01:28:05 Celebrities are on a movie screen like 50 times your size.
01:28:17 And celebrities is a celebration of lying.
01:28:25 The common people want to feel ugly and small?
01:28:29 Well, you tell me.
01:28:40 I mean, does Kim Kardashian look like that? She does not.
01:28:46 Does Taylor Swift look like that? She does not.
01:28:51 Katy Perry, one of her boyfriends shared a picture of her without makeup. Did you ever see that?
01:28:56 You ever seen these people with no makeup?
01:29:04 They don't look that way.
01:29:08 Do you ever hear singers sometimes live? They don't sound like they do in the studio a lot of times.
01:29:16 I'm looking at you, sweet but psycho lady.
01:29:21 Steph with no makeup. Yeah, I don't, I've got no makeup. I tried a little bit. I had a guy recommend it and all of that.
01:29:27 It's like, no, I mean, I know that makeup is supposed to make you look normal under lights. I get all of that.
01:29:37 Many people exalted celebrities for the pleasure of tearing them down.
01:29:43 Well, they do sometimes tear them down, but only when they no longer make people feel small and then they just raise up another one in their place.
01:30:07 You can't have people be elevated or out there if they make you larger, only if they make you smaller.
01:30:18 Who is promoted are the people who make you smaller.
01:30:23 Who is the celebrity out there who you can become?
01:30:32 Who is the celebrity out there that you can become?
01:30:36 Now, a philosopher talking about virtue, I hope that I'm always giving you the impression that you can think, reason, be curious, be good.
01:31:02 That philosophy is not something you just have to look at. Like you look at a movie, you can't step into it. You can't become it. You can't do it.
01:31:10 And it used to be the case, of course, that people used to come up with their own plays, their own stories.
01:31:14 You can sort of see this in Little Women, like the 19th century set book where Maria Luisa Alcott is talking about her own childhood when she used to create the plays.
01:31:24 And when I was a kid, I used to write space operas for my friends and we'd act them out into a recording tape.
01:31:29 And I remember blowing on the mic to make the explosion and all of that.
01:31:32 So within the K-pop world, they pick people off the street and give them plastic surgery.
01:31:39 It's a lot less sophisticated than the Western process of creating tickets.
01:31:47 Is Jesus considered a celebrity?
01:31:51 That is perilously close to blasphemy, my friend.
01:32:00 George Carlin was a suppository black pill guy designed to make you feel small and helpless in the face of the system.
01:32:08 It's a big club and you ain't invited. You ain't in.
01:32:14 I'm actually reading The Death of Jesus at the moment. I'm reading a book on The Death of Jesus, The Life and Death of Jesus.
01:32:19 It's really wild. I'll get around to talking about it when I'm done.
01:32:25 No, Jesus is not considered a celebrity.
01:32:30 So when a celebrity makes you feel large, it instigates a negative reaction in you because it imposes some kind of burden on you.
01:32:35 I don't know what that means.
01:32:42 Celebrities can't inspire you because you can't be like them.
01:32:49 You can be in pursuit of them like a beautiful model can make you buy the makeup, but you won't be her.
01:32:55 So you'll always fall short. You'll always be deficient.
01:32:58 You guys can be more moral than I am. I don't have any particular ceiling or cap to ethics which you can't approach.
01:33:04 I mean, you guys can blow past me and have a life of greater integrity and virtue and whatever.
01:33:10 There's no, I'm just putting out the thing, right? You can absolutely blow past me.
01:33:15 I hope that you never feel that I'm any kind of camp or ceiling or top. Nope.
01:33:20 That's not a thing. That's not a thing. That's not a thing.
01:33:30 Thank you for that permission, LOL. I know that's a joke. It's not permission. It's just a fact. Just an observation.
01:33:39 So you aren't undermined at me trying to be better than you in a different way. Interesting.
01:33:45 No, you should absolutely be. Don't think you're better than me. Right? You wouldn't.
01:33:50 I do admire you, Steph. I appreciate that. Look, I'm not saying that there's nothing I do that's worthy of admiration.
01:33:55 I appreciate that. And I also admire you guys for being here and supporting the show and helping me do this philosophy.
01:34:02 I would die. Can a mind change? Yeah. Why I was wrong about atheism. Why I was wrong about Christianity.
01:34:14 Those are shows you can look at FDR podcast dot com. FDR podcast dot com.
01:34:19 This is a bit much to accordion jam into a live stream, but you can go and check those shows out.
01:34:31 Let's see. Sorry. Have you ever attended a marriage for FDR couples? I certainly have.
01:34:37 I have back when I could travel and be out there in the world without significant danger.
01:34:44 Have you ever invented or exaggerated an anecdote from your past in order to make a good point or analogy?
01:34:51 Why would you be curious about that? I'm just wondering. I'm genuinely curious as to why you I don't mean to be rude and answer a question with a question, but I'm curious why you would ask that.
01:35:04 Are you looking for falsehood in me? Is that like you've got to find some falsehood in me? Is that is that what you're asking about?
01:35:12 I'm just kind of curious. It's an odd but interesting question. I'm not.
01:35:18 Do you really experience threats out in the world? Oh, please. Oh, please.
01:35:26 Well, so memory is a funny thing, right? So can I say that I'm sure there'll be a cottage industry in the future of said, well, he said this in 2011 regarding a story.
01:35:35 And then in this 2017, the story was slightly different. I may get that.
01:35:38 Memory is an imperfect thing. Stories telling the story can sometimes grow in the telling.
01:35:44 No, I haven't made up or lied about things, but I'm sure I haven't gotten things perfectly accurate.
01:35:53 FDR 5039, why atheists should be Christians. Yeah, that's not a bad place to start.
01:36:14 I mean, I've had people in my face in public. Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely.
01:36:23 The mob is an easily primed beast. Right. And it's a.
01:36:28 Individually, people are generally sane, but in a mob, madness is the rule. That's an old Nietzsche quote.
01:36:34 Yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing for sure. To make people angry, you just need to keep them miserable for long enough.
01:36:47 Right. If you keep people miserable for long enough, they feel so crushed and humiliated by their misery.
01:36:54 This happens with bad parenting, too. They feel so crushed and humiliated and ground down by the misery that they just have to attack someone.
01:37:01 This is why depression often goes to rage. Right. They just they get so ground down, so put into powder, so trodden underfoot.
01:37:08 They just have to rise up. And the best way and the only way they know how to rise up is to put someone else down and to attack.
01:37:15 Attack someone. I remember when the mob attacked your bus in New Zealand. Yeah, that no, that was Melbourne.
01:37:23 They tried to tip over the buses. They were throwing batteries at the buses, breaking the windows. Yeah, it was absolutely savage.
01:37:31 It was savage and the media was like, right, cheering it on. Right.
01:37:47 Did anyone bother you at night for freedom and night for freedom in New York City? So a night for freedom in New York City many years ago.
01:37:54 Of course, now it was very hard to get the venue and keep the venue.
01:38:01 There was a lot of shifting around. There were people outside chanting. Forget about the red pill.
01:38:07 How about a lead pill? Which meant, of course, a bullet. And I went to go and visit a guy in hospital who'd been beaten up by the mob outside.
01:38:15 And I met, I think it was like 500 wonderful people came up, give them hugs, talk to them about philosophy individually, one on one.
01:38:21 It was a wonderful evening. But yeah, we had to wait inside until it was relatively safe to leave the building,
01:38:30 which was, I guess, in the wee hours of the night when the crowds had dispersed and so on.
01:38:38 There was a line to meet staff all night long. Yeah, it was absolutely lovely. Absolutely lovely.
01:38:46 Yeah. And this was so funny. Right. So I don't know. It's funny how people are like surprised at the violence that's out there at the moment.
01:38:52 Like, you know, I mean, about the Gaza stuff and all of that and Hamas and Israel and people are like shocked at the violence.
01:38:59 It's like, hello. Welcome to the last eight or nine years. No, I think it was 2013, 2014.
01:39:05 I wanted to give a speech in, I did end up giving the speech in Detroit and yeah, bomb threats, death threats, the usual thing.
01:39:12 So, yeah, it's like I don't understand how people are like, oh, my gosh, there's all this.
01:39:18 I can't believe people are violent. It's like, oh, you just don't like that. It's not against people you don't like.
01:39:26 There's no principles involved in any of this. I mean, this was just so.
01:39:30 So that's why it became so boring to to even try and reason with people about this stuff.
01:39:43 Oh, yeah, I mean, everybody loves violence until it turns right to turn on them.
01:39:49 I think elections make them all worse because the stakes. That is when I realized it's not safe for me to go to rallies and stuff.
01:39:56 Yeah, I mean, politics now is about the transfer of trillions of dollars and people will do a lot for 50 bucks, let alone trillions. Right.
01:40:11 I mean, the political violence have been suffered by conservatives.
01:40:14 Mike Zernovich was talking about this many years ago when he confronted the Washington press corps about all of this.
01:40:19 Oh, yeah, the political violence have been suffered by conservatives and so on has been going on for, gosh, at least a decade, maybe a little bit more.
01:40:33 So, yeah, to me, I still I'm ridiculous enough to be vaguely surprised. Right.
01:40:46 My life gets better and better when you are a part of that and you are a part of that. Thanks, Steph. I appreciate that. Thank you.
01:40:53 Yeah, who knows him and who knows how much of this stuff is authentic or real or is instigated or whatever. Right.
01:41:03 All right. Any last questions, issues, problems, challenges, perspectives? Did I give you enough?
01:41:08 Like, don't give yourself permission to complain. You'd be amazed at how much creativity and problem solving you can come up with. Just don't give yourself permission to complain.
01:41:18 You'd be amazed at how much creativity and productivity you can come up with.
01:41:24 Complaining is a vampire. It hangs off your neck and it drains your life force. It's horrendous.
01:41:31 Did you visit a church? No, it's actually just looking at one today with my wife and we'll get to it. We will get to it.
01:41:42 I saw that complaining can damage your brain. Oh, is that right? Could we go back to your comment on expectation is escalation?
01:41:50 Expectation is the belief that you're owed something. And when you're owed something, you are programming yourself to escalate to achieve it. Right.
01:41:58 So when you're a kid, some kid borrows your bike and won't give it back. You're going to go in there. You're going to shoulder him aside. You're going to grab the bike. You're going to escalate to get your bike back.
01:42:09 Does that make sense? What would be preferable to expectation?
01:42:19 Expectation. I mean, I'm trying to think what expectations I have. What expectations do I have?
01:42:25 That's an interesting question. It's been a while since I've really had that mindset, which doesn't mean it's right or wrong. I'm just telling you it's been a while.
01:42:31 What expectations do I have?
01:42:38 Sun will rise. Yeah, it's not interesting because that's outside control power or reciprocity.
01:42:45 What expectations do I have of people? I don't think that I have expectations of people too much. I don't have expectations of my family because they're all, they manifest those expectations.
01:43:01 And so it's not really an expectation, sort of a reality.
01:43:05 Expectation that you won't get food poisoning from weight stuff. That's quickly dwindling.
01:43:10 When you provide value to others, should you not expect reciprocity? No! Absolutely not! Absolutely not!
01:43:21 You can be curious if you get reciprocity, but just because you lend money to someone doesn't mean they ever have to lend it back to you.
01:43:30 Now, it's nice if they do, but if you sit around with the expectation, then you will...
01:43:37 Okay, if you're kind to someone and they're not kind back and your solution is to complain, you're trapped. You're trapped!
01:43:45 You're in quicksand. Do you follow?
01:43:51 If you're nice to someone and they exploit you back and your solution is to complain, "I can't believe I lent that guy, he's not even lending me any..." I don't care!
01:44:00 How are you trapped?
01:44:03 Because if you're kind to someone and they're unkind back and you don't have the right of complaint, what do you do?
01:44:11 "I won't complain about it!" What do you do? You're free! But if you complain about it, you're stuck.
01:44:25 Because you're helpless.
01:44:35 Complaining is delusory because you're not accepting reality.
01:44:40 "Is it fair for me to complain that I'm more physically limited as I age?" No!
01:44:45 I'll point it out as a fact. Am I complaining about it? Well, no.
01:44:50 I mean, if you survive cancer, you don't complain about it any other day.
01:44:53 But I don't get to complain because I'm aging.
01:45:03 And that wouldn't make any sense because that's the best case scenario.
01:45:09 The best case scenario is to age. The worst case scenario is to die.
01:45:14 So all aging is an improvement over everything else, if that makes sense.
01:45:21 Complaining is saying, "What is should not be."
01:45:27 What is should not be.
01:45:30 "Why do you think people are so addicted to this cycle? They want to be the victims?"
01:45:34 Okay, alright. Last mind-blowing thing of the night.
01:45:38 Who wants you to complain? Who programs you to complain?
01:45:41 Who insists that you complain? Who encourages you to complain?
01:45:44 Who is it who primes you to be a complainer?
01:45:55 No, not the government. Although to some degree, maybe.
01:46:01 The people who want to explain you will train you to complain.
01:46:05 The people who want to exploit you will train you to complain.
01:46:08 Because that way you're stuck with them.
01:46:11 They exploit you, you complain. They exploit you, you complain.
01:46:15 Your complaining keeps you around for them to continue to exploit.
01:46:22 Does that make sense?
01:46:32 And what do you say to someone who complains?
01:46:39 What do you say to someone who complains?
01:46:46 "Fix it or fuck off."
01:46:49 "Leave me alone." "Move on." "What have you done about it?"
01:46:52 "Go away, please."
01:46:58 "Why are you complaining about what you chose?"
01:47:05 I did a call-in show the other day. It hasn't come out yet.
01:47:10 50/50 about this. So this was a couple. They've been fighting so badly that their four children,
01:47:15 the youngest of whom is four, are begging them to divorce.
01:47:24 I mean, unfortunately the wife couldn't make it, but I just had to keep hammering on the guy,
01:47:28 like, "Why are you complaining about what you chose?"
01:47:30 "I don't understand. Why are you complaining about what you chose?"
01:47:40 "Listen, if you're a kid and you're complaining about your family, hey, total sympathies."
01:47:48 "Yeah, you didn't choose that and you're stuck with it for some period of time."
01:47:53 "Big sympathy for that. Big sympathy for that."
01:48:05 Anthony says, "I'm sad. Will someone chat with me throughout the night?"
01:48:08 "I don't want to be up all night like I usually am alone."
01:48:11 So, Anthony, you're putting forward your needs.
01:48:14 You're putting forward your needs. What do you need to put forward?
01:48:17 You're asking someone to fulfill a parental role and to provide you resources.
01:48:21 What do you need to put forward, rather than your needs and you're sad and what you want?
01:48:26 What do you need to put forward? With sympathies. What value?
01:48:42 What value are you providing? That's how you break out of the parent-child relationship, right?
01:48:48 "Steph complaining about a loyal donor. Oh, aren't you a little troll there?"
01:48:55 "Was I complaining? Pointing out a fact and trying to help him get what he wants. Not complaining."
01:49:01 "You are a reinterpreter. That's a real shame."
01:49:06 "That's a real shame." Because people don't want to talk to you because you'll just change the language into some negative thing, right?
01:49:11 That's a shame because you're going to be isolated, right?
01:49:25 And rather than being up all night, what was I reading about?
01:49:28 There was this one of these actresses. Oh, gosh, what was her name?
01:49:34 Kim Cattrall. She was in a play, I think in London or something, and she had to bail out of the play near the end, just before it opened, because she had crippling insomnia.
01:49:44 And they said she went to CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, to deal with her insomnia.
01:49:50 And it was like, you know, the usual thing. You only use bed for sleep and sex and don't have any screens and try to solve a regular day and night thing.
01:50:01 I think what you want to do is read on sleep hygiene, Anthony, and read on how to get yourself a good night's sleep.
01:50:10 That's probably a better thing to do, is to try and read up on sleep hygiene and how to get a good night's sleep,
01:50:17 because lack of sleep is how they break people's personality down into a million pieces.
01:50:23 That's tough, and I really, really sympathize with that. That's a tough situation to be in.
01:50:27 But sleep is one of these things that's fairly solvable, if you get the right habits and all of that.
01:50:32 I sleep during the day, half on and half off. Well, that's why you don't sleep at night, right?
01:50:36 So, again, I'm no expert on this. I read a book many years ago called Say Goodnight to Insomnia, which I found to be quite good.
01:50:43 And you might want to check that out. But, yeah, being up all night and half dozing during the day is probably not going to be how you're going to end up with restful sleep, in my opinion.
01:50:54 I'm no expert on this, but that's just what I've tried. Go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time, don't have bright screens in bed,
01:51:01 and don't toss and turn, get up so you don't associate bed with being awake and all that kind of stuff.
01:51:06 There's lots of things that you can do.
01:51:09 Food service until 2 a.m. was brutal on me for the longest time.
01:51:12 You mean you were delivering food, or what do you mean, food service until 2 a.m.?
01:51:16 You felt compelled to order room service? What are you, Aerosmith? I don't understand.
01:51:20 Oh, serving. Okay, sorry about that. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, the night owls. Yeah, yeah.
01:51:25 I was a waiter, of course, and would do the midnight shift sometimes, and yeah, it's kind of rough.
01:51:31 The waiter thing, too, the split shift. You ever done that split shift in restaurants where you're like 11 till 2 and then 5 till midnight?
01:51:38 So basically 11 till midnight, like 13 hours, with a little bit of useless time off in between. That's rough, man. That's rough.
01:51:46 Beth, sorry, Lee says, "I felt really lonely when I wasn't working a steady job and my sleep schedule was weird.
01:51:52 When I have a schedule where I see people daily, even though I'm alone at home right now, I don't feel lonely."
01:51:57 Yeah, when you're younger, yeah, you can handle it. It's easier to just bounce and come back, but some of that, what is it,
01:52:03 millennium diminishes when you get older or something like that.
01:52:10 Ooh, I hate it. I get it for my salary position from time to time. Problem with national companies.
01:52:15 I'm not following what you're saying. Get what?
01:52:19 Get it for my salary position.
01:52:22 Sorry, maybe I'm just not following for some reason.
01:52:27 All right, any other last tips, comments, questions, issues before we close off for the night?
01:52:32 Cool dark room, white noise. Oh, man, I find for myself a heavy blanket, like a weighted blanket, real nice.
01:52:38 And yes, when you wake up, get out, look at the sun. Get out, walk around, get some sun, look at the sun,
01:52:44 blast your brain, and that seems to be very, very helpful.
01:52:48 Oh, the split shift, you have to start before open on the East Coast, after hours, West Coast. Yeah, that's rough.
01:52:53 When new parenting chapter? It will be soon.
01:52:56 I think I'm going to finish off the, because I'm sort of free-balling the French Revolution with notes,
01:53:03 I need to finish that before I get back to reading the parenting book, because that's more fixed,
01:53:08 because that's not free-basing, so to speak.
01:53:13 I use a sleep heart rate watch tracker. It's been a lifesaver for finding what works.
01:53:17 I think that's important as well, right? Get a sleep tracker, that's going to be very helpful.
01:53:20 And also, if you can get a sleep tracker, I think the new Galaxy Watch 6, is it?
01:53:27 It will also do your sleep temperature and make sure you're not getting too hot or too cold over the course of the night.
01:53:36 Let's get the likes to 100 posts stream. Thanks for the stream, it was a good one.
01:53:40 You're very welcome, my friend. You're eating right, not drinking either.
01:53:44 Drinking can make you wake up at night. And I did actually finally look this up again.
01:53:48 Don't take any advice from me, but I did finally look this up, and I found that exercising before sleep
01:53:52 does not seem to interfere with your sleep. For years, I'm like, "Oh, I can't exercise, it's too close to sleep."
01:53:56 Doesn't seem to be the case.
01:53:59 Did you post the call in with the dad who was angry that you talked to his daughter?
01:54:03 Yes, it is in the premium section. So, free domain. Sorry, freedomain.locals.com.
01:54:10 You can just sign up there for free. All promo code, all caps, UPP2022.
01:54:15 And yeah, drinking alcohol is very bad for sleep. So yeah, you can get the call there.
01:54:19 It was very, very interesting. Yeah, Jared is doing a great job of accumulating all the values
01:54:24 so it doesn't get sifted down through the sediments of the stream and the sort of waterfall of posts and so on.
01:54:30 So he's getting a great document together on all the benefits you get from subscribing,
01:54:34 and we're posting that at the top.
01:54:37 I am fairly well educated, but I have a huge hole regarding the French Revolution.
01:54:41 Thank you for doing a podcast on that.
01:54:44 Good. Now, a quick question as well. Would you be interested in, I don't know if you've been following
01:54:50 what's going on in Spain at the moment, but they're basically having a violent counter-revolution
01:54:54 against a socialist/communist coup. Would you be interested in the history of the Spanish Civil War in the 1930s?
01:55:04 Yeah? I think we should. Yeah, the conservative politician just got shot in the face from the socialist.
01:55:13 So I think, I mean, I've read Homage to Catalonia by George Orwell and a bunch of other stuff,
01:55:18 but I don't have a good overview of the Franco-Spanish Civil War, stuff like that.
01:55:23 So that is a very intriguing period. Too close to Naughtyland? Yeah, maybe. Maybe. We'll have to see.
01:55:31 Okay, so I will get a time machine and do that.
01:55:35 Pan's Labyrinth was based in that. Yeah, yeah. Joaquin Phoenix starring as Napoleon. Yes. Okay.
01:55:41 Government making the Bitcoin ETF approval slow is making me mad. Are you complaining?
01:55:47 No, that's good. It's more room to buy Bitcoin, right? If you want to.
01:55:51 Learned more history from your podcast than school? I'm glad to hear that.
01:55:55 I'm glad to hear that. It would kind of suck if you learned as much from me as from school,
01:55:59 because you already did school. All right. Thank you everyone so much for a glorious evening.
01:56:04 I really, really do appreciate that. Look at that. We're two hours almost on the nose.
01:56:08 Have yourself a great evening. Please check out the books, freedomain.com/books,
01:56:13 and don't complain. Just try it. Just try it. Try a week with no complaints.
01:56:17 Don't give yourself any complaints. It will absolutely change your life, because it's not just your life
01:56:21 minus the complaining. It's your life with power and no excuses. Just try it without any complaining.
01:56:28 And just see if you catch yourself doing it, just say, "No, if I'm not going to do something about it,
01:56:31 I'm not going to complain about it." I would really, really see what you do with that.
01:56:38 No complaints. No complaints. And it would change your life probably more than any other single thing,
01:56:44 is to not complain. And you'd be amazed at how much it gets you out of negative relationships,
01:56:48 destructive relationships. Yeah. And we'll check in next week and let me know how it went.
01:56:53 And if you see me complaining or catch me complaining, I've been pretty good.
01:56:58 Shall I do one? Okay, one tiny little complaint. So I put a video out. We have upload limits here.
01:57:03 So I put a video out because we were out of uploads here on Dailymotion.
01:57:08 And I guess it kind of got out to the general population. I got a whole bunch of people who were like,
01:57:12 "Hey man, there's so many ads on Dailymotion. It's driving me crazy. That's really bad."
01:57:16 And just out of curiosity, I just looked up their email. And again, it's not certain proof,
01:57:20 but of the number of people, and it was not a small number, who complained to me about ads on the platform
01:57:28 for watching a Free Domain show, how many of them were donors?
01:57:33 [laughs]
01:57:36 How many of them were donors? Yeah. And that's complaining, right? I'm telling you, that's complaining.
01:57:43 So it's funny that all the people who were like, "Well, I'm not going to donate to your show.
01:57:49 I'm only going to get angry if there are ads." You know, it's like, you know, like if nobody donates,
01:57:53 you have ads, so you're just pillaging off other people in order to avoid the ads that you hate,
01:57:58 but you won't donate. I don't know. That was just kind of funny.
01:58:03 I just thought that was shockingly predictable.
01:58:07 But one of the reasons they don't donate is they give themselves permission to complain.
01:58:11 So anyway, freedomain.com/donate to help out the show. Really appreciate your time.
01:58:16 Thanks, everyone. Lots of love. Have yourself a wonderful, wonderful night and weekend.
01:58:20 And I will talk to you Sunday, 11 a.m. Should we do hit L for live stream or V for voice chat?
01:58:29 L for live stream, V for voice chat. What should it be?
01:58:35 Looks like we've got a lot of live stream lovers here. Loving the live streaming, are you?
01:58:40 All right. Well, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And maybe we'll do one next week, a scheduled one.
01:58:46 All right. Lots of love. Thanks, everybody. Take care. Bye.
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