Dave & Chuck the Freak want to know if you'd let a DoorDasher poop in your house after watching video of a delivery guy desperately trying to use a customer's facilities. And, they talk about 'I Can't Wait' poop cards.
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00:00I think I know what you guys would say if this happened to you because I know you pretty well
00:11especially Lisa in this situation but a door dasher begged a woman to use her bathroom because
00:18he was gonna poop himself oh I saw this that's your problem I'm on team figure it out team don't
00:23let him in this is how it played out I'm never gonna even your pants and drop it at the porch
00:31please let's talk about it after we watch it oh he's dead he's doomed we can't have some rings
00:43ring doorbell oh I have this response oh yeah the automatic message play answer the door right now
00:49but if you'd like to leave a message you can do it now it's not realism no but we'll just pretend it
01:05is yeah okay it's buffering terrible actor too okay so let's react please let us in that is true that
01:14I never really thought to myself
01:16you can't do this
01:32get out of my house
01:37he's inside
01:39he would have already kicked himself
01:41at this point
01:43he would have because I would have knocked him out
01:45you're scaring my children get out of my house
01:50he's gonna do it right here yeah there it is
01:53oh yeah
01:55has he done it looks like he's walking like he's done it
02:02why'd have you arrested yeah you can't come into someone's house like that
02:05no that's crazy like his behavior was crazy
02:08some people are ready for you to try to come in their house like that
02:11eat that food
02:12no I can't
02:14I like he his hand was in his back side
02:17you can't come to the front door screaming
02:20I have diarrhea I have diarrhea
02:22and then I am gonna eat the food that you just handed off
02:25no get the hell out of here
02:27yeah that's super gross
02:28in the garbage
02:29that's how I sound when I get it
02:30I know you do
02:31me too
02:32I mean that's universal
02:34it is kind of how I sound
02:35I'm gonna burn myself
02:36but yeah
02:38you gotta just figure that one out
02:40everybody's got their own diarrhea problems
02:43you know
02:43you know the thing about
02:44the thing about DoorDash is
02:46you know like you set your own hours and stuff right
02:49like you set your own
02:50oh yeah
02:50that guy's got a lot of problems in his life
02:53you can tell
02:54I'm doing ripples I'm eating rubs
02:56I'd be like no get out of here
02:58he was just
02:59he was just at a place
03:00and got a giant order
03:02where you know they had bathrooms at
03:04like he could have done a few hours
03:06let's look at it from his perspective for a second
03:08he might have IBS or something
03:10something could be going on
03:11and it hit as you're driving to that house
03:13delivery isn't for you though
03:14really
03:15so you're gonna let
03:16so someone shows you their diarrhea card
03:18you're letting them in
03:19no
03:19listen man
03:19if you have taken the time to have a diarrhea card
03:23a diarrhea card
03:23I take it's pretty serious
03:25that's like basically like an FBI
03:27that's fine
03:27homemade diarrhea card
03:29if someone has
03:31that man could make it a fake diarrhea card
03:33yeah he could have
03:34look at him
03:35but you legitimately should get one
03:36if
03:37if I've
03:38taken the time to create a fake diarrhea card
03:41in case of use
03:43and I carry it around
03:45it's laminated and everything
03:47I almost deserve to use your
03:49I use
03:50I deserve to use someone's bathroom I think
03:53I mean I'll take your diarrhea card
03:55I'll look at it
03:56I'll give it right back to you
03:57and I'll be like I'm sorry
03:57no thank you
03:58no thank you
04:00wouldn't you laugh if you saw a diarrhea card
04:02I wouldn't have to laugh
04:03it's real
04:03okay but is there a thing
04:05yeah we think we talked about it
04:07I don't know if it was real or not
04:07but it's like an I have IBS card
04:09I don't
04:09yeah I think so
04:10isn't it just like a thing that people
04:12it's not like an official government document though
04:15I think you make it
04:15it's the I can't wait card
04:17I can't wait
04:18look I can buy one on Amazon right now
04:21yeah see this
04:22oh Chuck I gotta get you one
04:24I can't wait
04:26thank you for your help and understanding
04:27I have a medical condition
04:28that requires urgent use of bathroom facilities
04:30so this is for businesses right
04:32like if a business says
04:34oh we don't
04:34you know
04:35yeah
04:35and they're like
04:36but I don't even know if that works
04:37look at that
04:37that's huge
04:39that's a big ass card
04:40I can't wait
04:41yeah
04:42he looks so happy
04:44I can't wait
04:45I need to poop right here
04:46I clap myself
04:46I clap my pants
04:48I be pooping myself
04:52urgent
04:53urgent
04:53I cannot wait
04:54I cannot wait
04:55Dr. Zoners
04:56what if
04:57can I like run in front of someone
04:59in line
04:59like what if there's a line
05:00to use the bathroom
05:01can I hold that up
05:02and move to the front
05:03I mean I'm not gonna recognize
05:05the official
05:06I don't know
05:07I don't really know
05:07you're gonna be upset
05:08you're not gonna recognize it
05:11no
05:11I don't know how many people
05:12actually use these
05:13I just feel like if I
05:15it's got great reviews
05:16four stars
05:17if I had to have one of those cards
05:19like I'd just constantly be near
05:20a bathroom or something
05:21yeah
05:22I mean I was living this life
05:23you would take a modium every day
05:25or something
05:25yeah
05:25I was living this life
05:27it was hitting
05:28at all times
05:30and I never knew when
05:31I didn't go as far as
05:33to get one of these cards
05:34and I also I guess
05:35never put myself
05:37in a scenario
05:38where I was gonna have to
05:39kick a stranger's door in
05:40yeah
05:41this guy said one time
05:42while snow plowing
05:43in the middle of the night
05:44about two in the morning
05:45I ran into a 7-Eleven
05:46desperately needing
05:48to use their bathroom
05:48the guy behind the counter
05:50said
05:50employees only man
05:51yeah
05:52I said well
05:53I'm gonna poop in your parking lot
05:54then
05:55he let me use the bathroom
05:57yeah
05:57there is sometimes
05:59where they have the
06:00there's the decider
06:01the decider
06:03of your fate
06:04at those places
06:05and you know
06:05like they could
06:06but they won't
06:07but you just gotta
06:08I mean like
06:09I'm a big believer
06:10in that everybody's
06:11responsible for their own
06:12B-hole
06:12yep
06:13and then the timing
06:15and the schedule of it
06:16like you're in charge of that
06:18B-holes have never been
06:19more precarious
06:20I believe
06:21than they are right now
06:22true
06:22yeah
06:22especially given the rise
06:23of these weight loss drugs
06:24that cause fecal urgency
06:26yeah
06:26isn't there a song
06:28I can't wait
06:28yeah that was in my head
06:30I can't wait
06:31me too
06:32I can't wait
06:33you know what the song
06:33with my head
06:34about this poop topic
06:35urgent
06:36oh that could be
06:37a good one too
06:38urgent
06:38oh yeah
06:39urgent
06:41I can't wait
06:45oh yeah
06:46new shoes
06:46new shoes
06:47classic
06:48oh no
06:48is that really
06:49what they were called
06:50yeah
06:51it's like an 80's band
06:52right
06:52definitely old
06:54yeah
06:54yeah this is what it was
06:57I literally
06:58you need to play this
06:59with your car
06:59yes
07:00exactly
07:01pull it up
07:01pull the song
07:02quickly up on your phone
07:03look I gotta get to this song
07:04this is the commercial
07:05please
07:08oh god
07:10I've heard this a million times
07:15I never knew it was my new shoe
07:16me
07:17no one
07:17no one has
07:18no one has
07:18this is too
07:21like um
07:22happy
07:23yeah it's too pleasant
07:24for like a poop scenario
07:25yeah I know
07:26but this is why
07:27it's a perfect commercial song
07:28oh it is
07:29because
07:30they try to make you
07:31feel good about it
07:32you know
07:32like
07:32I have uncontrollable diarrhea
07:35somebody opens the door
07:35and is like
07:36come on in
07:37bathroom's up like that
07:40huh
07:42hmm
07:43get to it
07:44come on sing it
07:45where's this chorus
07:45they're gonna wait
07:46there you go
07:48yeah
07:48baby
07:49I can't wait
07:51huh
07:53is she feeling
07:55what the hell is going on
08:07in this video
08:07she's building some kind of
08:09she's like a scientist
08:11or something
08:12I think she's a builder
08:14the 80s were so wild
08:15that's so crazy
08:16she's wearing
08:17the craziest get up
08:19I gotta remember
08:19you're on quaaludes
08:21if you're not on quaaludes
08:22then none of this makes sense
08:24some sort of 80s magnet scientist
08:25I don't know
08:26they were on shore
08:27just building something
08:28it's the good cocaine
08:29so the question was
08:30if a door dasher showed up
08:32and said they had diarrhea
08:33and urgently had to use your bathroom
08:34would you let them do it
08:35and if someone flashed you a card
08:37because they sell these online
08:39and the card said
08:40I can't wait
08:41baby
08:41I can't wait
08:43would you let them go
08:44ahead of you
08:45in a bathroom line
08:46Glenn from Naples said
08:49no
08:49you have no right
08:50to go inside someone's house
08:51God be with you
08:52get out
08:52God be with you
08:54God bless
08:55God bless
08:56God be with you
08:59God be with you
09:00God be with you
09:01in your rectum
09:02someone said
09:03in a situation
09:04where somebody
09:04needed to use my restroom
09:05I would grab my pistol
09:06and make it clear
09:07that if they stepped out of line
09:09oh you
09:10so
09:11with the pistol
09:12so he would let them
09:12but armed
09:13yes
09:13yeah you get in here
09:15watch yourself
09:16watch yourself
09:17as soon as you point a gun at me
09:19I already had the diarrhea
09:20oh no
09:21yeah
09:22poop is all over your bathroom
09:24oh my god
09:26they're bacteria
09:27I don't think diarrhea
09:28makes it better
09:29like I don't think
09:30like somebody saying
09:31they have diarrhea
09:31means I'm gonna let
09:32that makes me less likely
09:34to let you use my bathroom
09:36if I know it's gonna be
09:37splatter city
09:38it's gonna shoot all over
09:40yeah
09:40and that guy
09:41that door dash guy
09:42oh you saw him
09:43he's not taking
09:44he's not taking care of yourself
09:45he's not washing his hands
09:46I think he had a fanny pack on
09:48oh god
09:49I can't let anyone
09:52in a fanny pack
09:53use my
09:53bathroom
09:55what is she building
09:58I don't know
09:58it's scary
09:59she's building like
10:00an IED or something
10:01all she has
10:02is a magnet
10:02and like a
10:03master lock
10:04I don't know
10:05what she's gonna build
10:06with that
10:07I don't know
10:08okay this guy said
10:09that card is 100% real
10:10and totally embarrassing
10:11my dad has to use it
10:13yeah
10:13he's had to use it
10:14to cut in
10:15porta potty lines
10:16at a fair
10:17oh god
10:18I just feel like
10:19if I had one of those
10:20like I'm not going
10:21anywhere
10:21I know
10:22but you can't
10:23listen you guys
10:24your b-hole
10:25can't ruin your life
10:26yeah it can
10:26but is there
10:27medication you can take
10:28I surrender to it
10:29then
10:30at that point
10:31you start to do stuff
10:32the way that my
10:33elderly parents
10:34would do it
10:35you know
10:36they don't want to
10:36walk a long way
10:37if they have
10:38if they have to
10:39go to the bathroom
10:39like if they're
10:40at the baseball game
10:41they always sit
10:42kind of close
10:44you don't want to
10:45go all the way
10:46far away
10:46you have to just
10:47know
10:48you know
10:49and that DoorDash
10:51guy did not
10:52he did not plan
10:54his life out
10:55well
10:55and I'm pretty sure
10:56he had
10:57he did not eat
10:58something healthy
10:59that day
10:59like if you show up
11:00at my door
11:01and hand me that
11:02he looks sick
11:02I'd be like
11:04I need you to get
11:05a warrant
11:05or something
11:06there's no time
11:08for warrants
11:09call a judge
11:10yeah
11:11I need
11:12you're gonna have
11:13the cops are gonna
11:13have to show up
11:14tell me this is real
11:16I need official paperwork
11:17I'm gonna need
11:18something from the courts
11:19you're gonna need tener
11:21and I'm gonna need you to
11:22see you tomorrow
11:24anymore
11:24you're gonna need to
11:25it should be
11:26I need you to
11:27we'll see you tomorrow
11:27take it
11:27and of course
11:28you're gonna need to
11:29you're gonna need to