Dave & Chuck the Freak talk to delivery drivers who have encountered nude people answering the door and some of them making offers that listeners couldn't refuse.
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00:00well this guy wanted food in the nude who doesn't a female door dash driver claims she was penalized
00:14by door dash for refusing to drop off an order to a male nudist hi yeah the woman said this i got
00:24an offer to drive a little over eight miles it was a ten dollar and fifty cent order i normally
00:30wouldn't accept something like that but it was towards the end of my dash would have taken me
00:34closer to home so i decided to go for it i get to the restaurant the food wasn't ready so i took a
00:39seat started scrolling through twitter i get a message from the customer on the app saying hey
00:45just to let you know i am a nudist and i will be answering the door nude oh oh wow okay nope yeah
00:52i responded with okay i'll be canceling then yep she said that's when i went out to my car to call
00:59door dash support she was stunned when an employee on the door dash support line said hello how are you
01:07if you cancel this order it'll affect your completion rate they basically told me she said that i wasn't
01:15that wasn't a good enough reason and if i unassign the order my completion rate will go down which
01:23will affect my standing with the company and i wouldn't be paid anything yeah my guess is just
01:29whoever was in the whoever is at the door dash phone number they don't understand the gravity of
01:37like nudist like what is the nudist what are you talking about that's a good thing that he warned
01:43her that was nice the the customer yeah rather than a surprise you think it's a warning or just
01:49like uh pervy reach out probably yeah probably yeah that's his thing he's like yeah i can't wait
01:57yeah got a female delivery driver oh he probably went right yeah yeah my god yeah right um is there
02:05anyone listening who's had to deal with this as a door dash driver uber eats or any any delivery
02:10person have you encountered a nudist along your route oh my god because i would think that doesn't
02:16happen on a regular basis right even nudists know they can't open the door nude right i'm definitely
02:24in my underwear until they show up yeah but you don't open the door in your underwear not yet
02:29not yet you'll get there one day maybe yeah maybe my dad would he didn't care oh yeah
02:34oh man brian is with us as a door dash driver have you ever encountered this
02:40yes sir what happened um i pulled up in front of a house and you know it's a hand to me
02:47so we go up there and knock on the door and this guy answers the door i mean he's
02:51just giant i'm you know i'm five foot six i'm not a big guy i weigh 135 pounds i mean this guy
02:57opens the door buck naked and he's so tall his waist is almost eye level with me and it's just
03:03hanging in my face whoa oh god jesus whoa you're like blowing it away
03:07the thing out of here i turned around my wife's sitting there in the car watching all this go down
03:14and i told her i said you know if you weren't sitting there watching me in the car he would
03:17have just palmed the top of my head like a basketball and nobody would have ever heard from
03:20me again yeah you would have taken wait and what do you say like dude you just take that and walk
03:25away what are you supposed to say i'm not saying anything to a sasquatch like man
03:29who could rest his penis on your head yes no that's so not right it's not right but
03:35you it's about survival at that point maybe you run and be like i'm calling the police baby
03:40i don't want to be taken as you're running as you're running like run don't like you might want
03:47to be in the car with the window down and it didn't drive yeah yeah okay you call the police
03:52because here's the thing like i could think i could think oh i can i can handle myself all
03:57right but if i open if i open a door and shaquille o'neal is on the other side
04:01shaquille o'neal takes me oh you'll be taken shaquille o'neal is inside me
04:07yeah you'll be inside oh my god he's in me he's in me i didn't want it i didn't want it i didn't
04:16trust me i didn't want it but i'm his there's nothing you can do about it you just get out of
04:26there man he's in me oh that's a bad night it's a bad night on the roots it's crazy to be like i'm
04:38his i am there's no stopping it i could put up all the fight i want my arms gonna be flailing
04:49well
04:52ah charlie i used to work for schwann's okay they deliver food okay i had a customer come to the
05:02door naked and then turned away to bend over showing me his b oh my god that's a tip
05:12that keeps on tipping because you never forget that oh my god like to be a real super visual
05:28person and to just have that jump up and bite you every once in a while in your mind terrible
05:33yep no one needs a door be hold no you have to quit right then hey got something for you
05:40hold on let me find it really appreciate what you do
05:43oh god oh god no i didn't know that i have dropped something
05:49oh god oh no he spread them too uh richard hello richard hey how you doing yes very good guys
06:02uh what is your encounter with a new delivery so i was delivering for a pizza and uh crazy enough i
06:11went into a neighborhood really rough neighborhood went to a door answer ladies topless i'm already like
06:17all right and it's like a nine nine point five wow hold on hold on a nine don't happen that
06:24and nine answers the door topless yes yeah richard is this penthouse forum you're reading what is this
06:30real no no no this is real man i've been doing pizza delivery on and off for like over 30 years
06:36and this is a rarity this is like a mythological unicorn right topless nine yes right so i opened the
06:42door and normally we're not allowed to come in but i this neighborhood like you hear gunshots
06:46and she's like you come in for a second i'm like sure so i get into this
06:52yep what happened what happened i i get in there there is a like one of those old torture tables
07:01with like straps like fuzzy straps and everything yeah yeah yeah like dave's basement all right
07:08she did so she's like well let me get something for you and she says but hold on i need to let
07:14them out and i'm like wait what the gimp the gimp oh dude let me let me put you this way think
07:19pulp fiction yeah the gimp she busted out the gimp she had to feed the gimp square box and bust out
07:28this dude with a zipper mask like the gimp what did she want you to join in the torture
07:33feed the gimp i have no idea i have no idea and he comes over and he hobbles over and i'm like
07:41but like he looks almost like that horror movie mama like just kind of walking on all fours like
07:47i'm freaking out oh my god and he pops out a 20 bill and yeah that's nice so the gimp paid for it
07:55you guys are wonderful i just had to share that with you it was the creepiest weirdest thing
08:03jobless nine with a gimp and a torture dungeon most nines have a gimp i never thought about like a
08:09gimp's gotta eat right yeah but the gimp also has to pay for it yeah they don't they don't get a
08:14free meal they don't get a free meal nine never pays that gimp was probably very happy to be in
08:19that box my favorite part was when chuck's like hey you mean the gimp he's like no no no think
08:24pulp fiction yeah yeah zipper mask bring out the gimp from that movie no chuck you idiot the guy
08:31yeah i was like okay um yeah i guess also known as the gimp yeah uh this person said as an instacart
08:38shopper oh what dave no it stopped he stopped i had an elderly woman open the door with a diaper on
08:47oops i don't know this is oh no had poop on her cheek whoa you think on her cheek this is a food
08:55delivery instacart instacart are you thinking groceries face cheek or butt cheek well you see
09:01she's got a diaper covered yeah that's a small diaper and a big butt oh man those groceries on
09:07the porch and run yeah that's that's all i want you to do anyway get some help lady get that poop off
09:14your face yeah i'm trying lisa has instacart all right lady get some help get that poop off anyway
09:22gotta go call somebody we're gonna call somebody but have a rough day yeah
09:26what happened grandma you ever have things not go your way oh man how'd you get poop on your face
09:36i don't even remember it was a while that's no good you can't even imagine huge uh delivered pizza
09:46hotel delivery large like there's 18 letters in this word large large black woman with no clothes on
09:56my lady hotels would be wild to deliver to i think what is up with people in a hotel like the mind
10:02changes or something like it's not your place it's like that's it that's something some people are
10:07just cutting loose in there really really are cutting loose uh said she'd blow me for the pizza
10:13no did he do it i can't really do you think he did it i don't think he did it no i hope he didn't
10:23because she left a tip and then he ended up having to pay for it he said oh i don't he was like no
10:29he might not have been into it by the way he wrote large yeah
10:32but it said like he kind of had to spend money for the pizza so i would i wonder it does make me
10:42wonder if he spent his own money for it i'm not giving you the pizza if you're not giving me the
10:46money if i'm not looking for the oral trade yeah oh so he gave it to her yeah that's the way i'm
10:52reading yeah because i know i would have done it for sure oh my god big lady bj yeah he did
10:58amazing
11:00he said no he said don't knock it you shouldn't knock it you don't know what you're into yeah
11:11till you're into it yeah
11:12he said don't knock it yikes
11:16you
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