Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman who kidnapped someone she knew from Walmart and was then busted at a McDonald's when he alerted employees of the crime. The show imagines how this would go if Lisa did it to Dave.
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00:00This next story is bananas.
00:10So imagine, if you will, a hypothetical world.
00:13Okay.
00:13Where I'm shopping at Walmart, and I bump into Lisa.
00:17What are you guys doing here?
00:19Lisa's like, hey, Dave.
00:21Hey, Lisa, how are you?
00:23She's like, can I give you a ride?
00:25Okay.
00:26And I say, you know what?
00:27Sure, I don't have a car here, so sure.
00:29You just got dropped off.
00:30Yeah, sure.
00:31I've just finished my night working at McDonald's, and yeah, if you could give me a ride, that
00:36would be wonderful.
00:37Okay.
00:37And then she kidnaps me.
00:39Oh, no.
00:40Hey, Dave.
00:42Get in my pit.
00:43Hey, Dave.
00:44Get in the pit.
00:46Rub the lotion on your skin, Dave.
00:49Lisa's like Denzel from Training Day.
00:51She's like, smoke this.
00:53Yeah.
00:53So I know you're legit.
00:56Now I got something on you, Dave.
00:57Hey, that's PCP, Dave.
01:01I feel so weird.
01:05Bet you wish you didn't shop at Walmart today.
01:1133-year-old guy shopping at Walmart in Sweetwater, Florida, when a woman approached him and asked
01:16if he needed a ride.
01:17Yeah, sure.
01:18He knew her, and he accepted the offer, but when he hopped inside her U-Haul truck, which
01:23Lisa drives all the time.
01:25Come on, Dave.
01:26Hop in my U-Haul truck.
01:27Lisa, why are you driving a U-Haul truck?
01:29It's a new vehicle here.
01:31I just thought I'd give it a try.
01:32Okay.
01:32Um, then she accused him of stealing her credit card and held him hostage.
01:40Oh, well.
01:40Oh, boy.
01:41Yep.
01:42Though he was not able to get away while in the Walmart parking lot, the woman stopped
01:46at a McDonald's, giving him the chance to tell an employee that he was being held hostage.
01:51Help.
01:51Yeah, that's insane.
01:53That's pretty funny.
01:54Help.
01:54Help me.
01:55Help me, please.
01:56Help me, please.
01:56What is the...
01:58Apparently...
01:58The one cymbal with your hand over and over.
02:02Help me.
02:04Help me.
02:05Wouldn't be Lisa's downfall, too, going to get McDonald's fries.
02:08Oh, yeah.
02:09She's like, I'll wait for you to make them hot.
02:12Dave, if you were smart, that's what you'd be doing the whole time.
02:15Be like, oh, man.
02:16Yeah, I didn't take your credit card, but boy, God, I'm hungry.
02:20Could you surprise?
02:21Hot fries.
02:22Hot fries.
02:22You ever take fries and dip it in a shake?
02:25Oh, yeah.
02:26Lisa.
02:26All right.
02:27She pulls over.
02:28Yeah.
02:28Well, the victim knew his kidnapper, Christina, and another gentleman who jumped in the truck
02:35as they had been roommates.
02:38She accused him of stealing her credit card.
02:40When he tried to get out of the truck, she forced him back inside the U-Haul.
02:45They became hungry, though, this woman and the other guy that jumped in, and that's when
02:49they chose to stop at McDonald's.
02:50While there, the victim attempted to call police from inside the bathroom, but she bit
02:54the phone out of his hand.
02:56Oh, my God.
02:56Oh, my God.
02:57I know.
02:58I know.
02:59The victim then made contact with a McDonald's employee who he was able to whisper to about
03:03his hostage situation.
03:05I've been kidnapped.
03:06That's hilarious.
03:07Sorry, sir.
03:07You want a Big Mac?
03:08I've been kidnapped in a U-Haul.
03:10I'm sorry?
03:11I've been kidnapped in a U-Haul.
03:13Please help, for God's sakes.
03:14Uh-oh.
03:16And a large fry.
03:19Plain quarter pounder with cheese combo.
03:20The police were notified, but the victims were gone by the time authorities arrived.
03:25However, they were later found by police and arrested.
03:27Both of the suspects have been charged with kidnapping.
03:31She has been charged with robbery by sudden snatching, battery, burglary, dealing in stolen
03:40property, organized scheme to defraud, and petty theft.
03:42But the two are being held without bond.
03:46That is their mugshot.
03:48What the hell, man?
03:51She's a nasty looking lady, isn't she?
03:53Kidnapped from Walmart, saved at McDonald's.
03:56I love that headline.
03:58Yeah.
03:58Yeah.
03:59Honestly, that deserves that.
04:01That's so American.
04:02That is American.
04:03Kidnapped from Walmart, saved at Mickey D's.
04:05Here at McDonald's, we're ready to save you.
04:08McDonald's saved my life that time I was kidnapped at Walmart.
04:10One billion saved.
04:12Yeah.
04:14My goodness.
04:15So strange.
04:16You'd never expect a lady you know to kidnap you in a U-Haul.
04:20You hope not.
04:21You hope not.
04:22That is a hell of a ride to rock the U-Haul.
04:25Yeah, it is.
04:26It is.
04:26It's just her getting around vehicle.
04:27A lot of people rocking that right now because they just take them, right?
04:31Yep.
04:32Are they got Matthew faces?
04:35Something's going on there.
04:36Yeah, there's drug use, I'm alleged.
04:39Definitely.
04:41You don't kidnap your friend.
04:43You don't.
04:44You really don't.
04:45Unless you need drugs.
04:46You know, U-Haul.
04:47It just isn't normal.
04:48Oh, you didn't hear, Dave?
04:49What?
04:49Lisa started doing tons of meth.
04:51Oh, no.
04:52It's now making sense, right?
04:54Oh, yeah.
04:54That didn't add up.
04:55I sold my car.
04:56Yeah, true.
04:58In a cellar car and ended up with a stolen U-Haul.
05:01You never know.
05:02You never know what could happen these days.
05:04But there you go.
05:06Don't.
05:07I'm not going to trust Lisa if she happens to give me a ride.
05:09Oh, yeah.
05:10No.
05:11Absolutely not.
05:11Listen, if you, for some reason, go to Walmart and you see Lisa, something's happened.
05:17Something's going on.
05:18Something has fallen apart for her.
05:19I'm not going to trust you.
05:20I'm not going to trust you.
05:21I'm not going to trust you.
05:21I'm not going to trust you.
05:22I'm not going to trust you.
05:22I'm not going to trust you.
05:23I'm not going to trust you.
05:23I'm not going to trust you.
05:24I'm not going to trust you.
05:24I'm not going to trust you.
05:25I'm not going to trust you.
05:25I'm not going to trust you.
05:26I'm not going to trust you.
05:26I'm not going to trust you.
05:27I'm not going to trust you.