Malcolm In The Middle Season 1 Episode 6 Sleepover
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00:00I've been on my tie!
00:01Wild, you were touching me!
00:02Stop it!
00:03Why do we have to do this?
00:04Because we don't have a single picture of us all together.
00:07That's ridiculous.
00:09We're a family.
00:10We should have a family portrait.
00:11Well, Francis isn't here.
00:13I'm not going to cough up 200 bucks to fly him in for one silly picture.
00:18Where's Dewey?
00:20Dewey, get out of there.
00:21That's not your family.
00:24You sure you want autumn leaves as a backdrop?
00:26Yes.
00:27I didn't even look at Happy Woodmills.
00:30It's more colorful.
00:33Space shuttle.
00:35Next!
00:36Come on, let's go.
00:40I have a coupon here for 1.8x10 and 2 wallet size for $9.99, and that's what I want.
00:46I don't want the Golden Moments collection.
00:47I don't want the Family and Friends collection.
00:49I don't want the Lifetime of Love.
00:51I want 1.8x10 and 2 wallet size for $9.99.
00:56Fine.
00:57We have an installment plan if that would help.
01:01I brought a picture of Francis.
01:02He's going to be in the portrait.
01:04Cool.
01:04I'll hold it.
01:05No, I'm going to hold it.
01:06Let go.
01:07Come on.
01:07I'm going to hold it.
01:08Let go.
01:08Dewey, pants on, mister.
01:10Let me hold it.
01:12I'm sorry, but this coupon's expired.
01:14What?
01:15It's expired.
01:16What you want will run your $39.50.
01:19Ooh, lonely beach.
01:20We're kind of the lonely beach family, right?
01:22How?
01:23But for another $5, you can have the instant memory set.
01:26That comes with double exposure silhouettes for the grandparents.
01:29Look, could you please just do what I'm asking you to...
01:32I'm older!
01:33It was my idea!
01:35Sure.
01:36Yeah!
01:38Stop it!
01:40That is it!
01:41Ow!
01:42Get up!
01:44Get back!
01:45Come here!
01:46Go there!
01:48Okay.
01:49We are going to take this picture, and it is going to be good.
01:53And that means no faces, no tongues, no crossed eyes, no bunny ears.
01:59We are going to smile.
02:00We are going to look good.
02:02It is going to cost us $9.99, and all of this is going to happen by the time I count to
02:06three.
02:07There's nothing to three!
02:08There's nothing to three!
02:10Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question?
02:26You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me
02:34now, and you're not so big.
02:37You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of
02:44me now, and you're not so big.
02:50Life is unfair.
02:52Life is unfair.
02:53Life is unfair.
03:07Hello?
03:08Hello?
03:12Listen, pervert, this is the third time you've called, and I have just about had it.
03:16Is Malcolm there?
03:20Oh, hi, Stevie.
03:22Sorry.
03:23Malcolm, phone!
03:26Hey, Stevie.
03:28You're coming tonight?
03:31Yeah.
03:33And sleeping over?
03:35It's a sleepover, Stevie.
03:37That's what you do.
03:38I'm just excited.
03:41I'm excited.
03:41I've never had one.
03:47We can read comics and build models.
03:57Stevie, I never thought I'd say this, but slow down.
04:04Ha, ha.
04:0541.
04:0942.
04:1142.
04:1443.
04:15Okay, stop.
04:15I can't do anymore.
04:17You think later on you can manage to stand on my stomach while I do sit-ups?
04:21Just give me a minute, okay?
04:36Finley, what are you doing in the cupboard?
04:38Poquito cabeza.
04:39Get out of there, man.
04:41I can't.
04:42I've been marked by the Brothers of the Apocalypse.
04:45Poquito cabeza.
04:47Brothers of the Apocalypse?
04:49It's ridiculous.
04:50It's five seniors with limited imaginations.
04:53Oh, yeah.
04:54That's easy for you to say.
04:55You've got Stanley protecting you.
04:58And you're not holding Poquito Cabeza.
05:00Could you stop saying Poquito Cabeza?
05:03I can't.
05:04And I'm not coming out.
05:07Oh, could you turn in my math homework?
05:09These guys are so lame.
05:16Amateurs.
05:17Poor Finley.
05:18He's good at math, right?
05:22Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie, Finley, Poombaie,
05:52Help me! Please! Help me! Help me!
05:59Hey, Mom, I'm going to Stevie's.
06:06You be nice to that boy. He can't walk.
06:09He's got to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
06:12You get up and you help him.
06:15Yes! There's a Chucky movie on tonight.
06:18Not in this house.
06:20You know how your father feels about evil puppet movies?
06:23Please, Mom. It's not even a school night. I can stay up.
06:27You really think you're old enough?
06:29I totally am.
06:30Well, if you really think so...
06:33Oh, Mom, no fair.
06:36What's the matter? Afraid you can't beat your mommy?
06:41She's just a person. She's just a person.
06:50Oh, no! He's finally going to win!
06:55What's he playing for tonight?
06:57Bedtime in a Chucky movie.
06:59Stop screwing around and pin him!
07:01Ow!
07:03Oh, you'll have to forgive the mess, Malcolm.
07:11When our Stevie enters the room, it's like a typhoon hit.
07:15Well, we'll leave you alone.
07:30Check it out, Stevie.
07:33The T-Rex is three feet tall with a moveable jaw.
07:37Red paint for blood.
07:40This is so cool!
07:42I heard screaming.
07:43Yeah, I said this is so cool.
07:47Is that a switchblade?
07:49It's an exacto knife to cut the pieces apart.
07:53I use it all the time.
07:54Oh, my goodness.
07:55Well, we'll lock this up with the scissors.
07:59How about a puzzle?
08:01Stevie, it's been a long time since you did the Arc de Triomphe.
08:06We'll just give that back when you go home.
08:18Puzzles are fun.
08:21You think we can order some pizza?
08:23Mom's making pizza.
08:27Cheeseless, sauceless pizza.
08:31Pizza.
08:32That's just bread.
08:34Pizza.
08:35Bread.
08:42Wise pojito cabeza.
08:45Who shall your next victim be?
08:49I'm so sick of these guys.
08:52What's that?
08:53You're not sure?
08:55I think we have a winner.
09:14You're cordially invited to attend my...
09:19Hey!
09:20I don't have a problem with you.
09:26Francis.
09:27Look, Stevenson.
09:29This place is horrible enough.
09:32So the Piquito Cabeza thing stops now, okay?
09:37Just stop.
09:39Just stop.
09:40Just stop packing.
09:43You are protecting me.
09:45I mean, I know we don't have like a formal agreement or anything, but my act of courage was kind of dependent on your role as my bodyguard.
09:53I'm sorry, Francis.
09:55You're sorry?
09:57Do you have any idea what these guys are gonna do to me?
10:00Four words.
10:02Nana has a fever.
10:04End of discussion.
10:06So what am I supposed to do?
10:09Remember that move I taught you?
10:11Yeah.
10:12Don't even try it.
10:22I have to admit.
10:24It's kind of catchy.
10:31Did you have fun tonight, Malcolm?
10:33Yeah.
10:35I guess.
10:37But isn't it kind of early to be going to bed?
10:40It's not even eight o'clock.
10:42Oh, don't worry.
10:43That jigsaw puzzle will still be there in the morning.
10:48Now, I know you boys want to do a little chatting before sleepy time.
10:55Let's say four minutes.
11:01Miss Knauben can be a tad strict.
11:03She doesn't know that sometimes boys have to be boys.
11:07Am I right?
11:08I can't move.
11:09I can't move.
11:26Welcome to the club.
11:29I'm never gonna fall asleep. It's too early. Wanna tell ghost stories?
11:36No, I wanted to do that dinosaur model.
11:47Everything alright in there, boys?
11:52Um, yeah, a plush toy just fell on the floor. We're fine.
11:59You can't.
12:03I just did. Your parents need to cut you some slack.
12:06They just want me safe.
12:10No, they want you to be four.
12:13Stevie, parents aren't allowed to control everything you do.
12:17Sometimes you just have...
12:22Sorry, conditioning.
12:25Come on. I've got an idea. We're gonna get you out of here.
12:33Don't! It's alarmed.
12:39You got me?
12:40Yeah.
12:41You got me?
12:42No!
12:47I didn't know. You cared.
12:49Okay.
12:57You want maturity? Well, here's three weeks of social studies homework.
13:01Now, I'm one week ahead. Plus, I called Grandma.
13:05Hello?
13:06Hi, Grandma. It's Reese.
13:07Who is this?
13:08Grandma.
13:09Reese.
13:10It's... it's Reese.
13:11Who is Reese?
13:12Grandma, it's Reese.
13:13No, I won't accept charges.
13:14It's Reese.
13:15I'm trying to sleep.
13:16Grandma, come on. It's Reese.
13:17I'm very tired. Please.
13:19Grandma...
13:20It goes on like that for another ten minutes.
13:22But I still want credit.
13:24Honey, I'm very proud of you.
13:26But you still haven't proven you're old enough to extend your bedtime.
13:29Come on, Mom. I'll do anything.
13:32All right.
13:33Tell you what.
13:34You can stay up and watch the movie if...
13:39You put Dewey to bed.
13:42Oh.
13:43Anything else?
13:44That's the deal.
13:45You give him his bath, you put him his PJs, you read him his story.
13:49Lois, have a heart.
13:51Hey, take it or leave it.
13:54I'll take it.
13:56Come on, Dewey. It's bath time.
14:01You know he doesn't stand a chance.
14:06I know, but at least he'll give us the night to be alone.
14:09Oh.
14:11I love the way your mind works.
14:14Now, Predator faces you.
14:17And the outcome will be uncertain.
14:21Honk.
14:23Smoothie.
14:24I'm winning.
14:36I lost.
14:37Yes.
14:38I got another quarter in my chair.
14:51Somebody stole my friend's wheelchair.
14:53What's it look like?
14:54It's a chair with wheels.
15:08I'll go get a farm.
15:09I don't need a farm.
15:10I don't need a farm.
15:11I need a wheelchair.
15:13Hey!
15:14Hey!
15:15Come back!
15:16I'm not kids!
15:17This ain't funny!
15:18It's time for me to go over here!
15:19Up!
15:20Up!
15:21Up!
15:22Up!
15:23Up!
15:24Up!
15:25Up!
15:26Up!
15:27I'll get in my chair.
15:29I'm R.I.P.
15:34Up!
15:35I'm not kids!
15:36This ain't funny!
15:38It's time for me to go over here!
15:39Up!
15:40Up!
15:41Up!
15:42I'll get in my chair.
15:43I'm screwed.
15:58We're not screwed.
15:59We just gotta get you home.
16:01We'll deal with everything else.
16:07What are we gonna do now?
16:09Carry me like a backpack.
16:29Stop! Stop!
16:33Gonna puke!
16:35Ow!
16:38Let me go!
16:39Come on, Dewey.
16:41It's me. You like me.
16:43No, I don't.
16:46Ow!
16:47Dewey, please!
16:51Oh, it's just my headway.
16:54Zero.
16:57Zero.
16:58Do you remember the last time we had a quiet moment together like this?
17:09Bob's funeral?
17:10Yeah.
17:12Oh, that was nice.
17:14And you look great in black.
17:16You do.
17:18You do.
17:18You do.
17:18Let the machine get it.
17:27Mmm.
17:33Mom, Dad, hi.
17:35Listen, something's come up.
17:37Sorry about the way I sound, but I'm calling from inside a washing machine.
17:41Don't worry, I think I'll be fine as long as...
17:43Oh!
17:45Hi, guys.
17:46How's it going?
17:49Hey, hey, what are you doing with those quarters?
17:51Hey, you guys, you don't mind...
17:53Hey, come up!
18:00Morning, Dewey.
18:02You know all my secrets.
18:03Mm-hmm.
18:04Well, we've been together a long time.
18:08Don't worry.
18:09I know all your secrets, too.
18:12No, you don't.
18:13Oh, yes, I do.
18:14No, I'm a man of mystery, yes.
18:17Okay.
18:18Let's hear one.
18:20What's your secret?
18:22Well, it's not really a secret as much as it is a fantasy.
18:27But it's a little embarrassing, so...
18:31Well, so...
18:33Whisper in my ear.
18:34...
18:46Ha-ha!
18:48Ha-ha!
18:48Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:49Just kidding.
18:50Just kidding.
18:51Saw it in a movie once.
18:53Don't want to do that.
18:54That's...
18:55Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:55Ha-ha-ha-ha!
18:56Oh, God.
18:58I gotcha.
19:00We can do that.
19:03Really?
19:06Mm-hmm.
19:08Dewey, get back here!
19:10Okay, I just have to pick up a few things.
19:19You need 20 minutes?
19:21I'll be ready.
19:22Yes!
19:25Honey?
19:25Huh?
19:26Honey, aren't you forgetting something?
19:27Come on, you can't get back here!
19:29Thank you!
19:32Thank you!
19:33Your car keys!
19:34Come on, Dewey, stop!
19:37Hey!
19:40See how the neighbors...
19:41Ah!
19:48That's a nice cart.
19:51Thanks!
19:52It's new!
19:55Downtown!
19:57Rocks!
19:59What's that?
20:01A stripped car?
20:03What's that?
20:04A naked man arguing with a wall?
20:08What's that?
20:09A nudie bookstore?
20:12With my dad coming out of it?
20:19There you go.
20:24Dad is going to get some love tonight.
20:29Perhaps you'll survive, perhaps not.
20:40Many have perished at the hands of the Grand Executioner.
20:46They are the lucky ones.
20:50Are you scared?
20:51Actually, now that you mention it, no.
20:57What?
21:01Scared now?
21:04No.
21:05It's kind of itchy.
21:08What?
21:08Huh?
21:09You are hanging over a bottomless pit.
21:13In five seconds, I will cut the rope.
21:17Are you scared now?
21:19I'm really not, no.
21:21Why not?
21:23This stuff is way scary.
21:25I'm sorry.
21:25It just feels so amateurish.
21:29I mean, I know you guys are trying, but...
21:32I've been tormented by the best.
21:35Let me tell you a little bit about the master.
21:39Traveling?
21:39He wasn't traveling?
21:41Why didn't you put your glasses on here, buddy?
21:43You're missing a great game.
21:46Oh, you're going to give me a technical?
21:48You're going to give me a technical?
21:50You can't give me a technical!
21:52Look at that little pee-pee.
21:55Oh, Francis, I forgot how tiny you are.
21:59Oh, no, no, no, no.
22:00That's the moment of his birth.
22:02You see?
22:02See him coming out feet first?
22:04Doctors said it was the biggest mucus plug they'd ever seen.
22:08It's an eight-inch scratch on the car, Francis.
22:11You know how much that's going to cost a fix?
22:13If you think you are ever, ever borrowing my car again,
22:17you are sadly mistaken.
22:19And I saw that tattoo, Jimmy.
22:22I'm telling your mother!
22:25And that's just the stuff I didn't block out.
22:30Oh, man.
22:31What have we been doing?
22:33This is all so wrong.
22:35We've got to stop treating people like this.
22:38Yeah.
22:40If we're going to do this,
22:42we're going to do it right.
22:46You will never amount to anything.
22:49Why can't you just apply yourself?
22:53Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?
22:55Is that what this is?
22:56After all that I've done for you,
22:59and this is the thanks I get?
23:01We passed that couch an hour ago.
23:10I know where we're going.
23:13Oh, no, I don't.
23:14This sucks.
23:15You complain a lot.
23:19I'm sorry, but tonight hasn't exactly been the most fun in the world.
23:23Not tonight.
23:25All the time.
23:27You never stop bitching.
23:30Okay, great.
23:32You're going to do this now?
23:34Fine.
23:35You were right.
23:36We shouldn't have snuck out of your house.
23:38We shouldn't have gone to the arcade.
23:41It was stupid of me for even thinking about it.
23:44It was a dumb idea.
23:46No.
23:47Good idea.
23:49Execution sucked.
23:51You can't do it again, man.
23:55Come on.
23:56Get it again.
23:57Yeah.
23:58Your chair.
24:00Hey.
24:11I'm slowing you down.
24:14Get them yourself.
24:16Okay.
24:17That's a man you're gaining on.
24:19Come on, let's go.
24:23Get out of the chair.
24:24All right.
24:34You better be running.
24:37Hey, Stevie, I got your...
24:39Oh, my God.
24:49Stevie, are you okay?
24:53I can't feel my legs.
24:59That's not funny.
25:01Is there anything I can do to get out of the ticket, officer?
25:06Just love me.
25:08Oh, for crying out loud, Hal, is that it?
25:10Can't he be a sensitive cop?
25:12No.
25:14No.
25:20No.
25:20He's alive!
25:22Oh, he's alive!
25:22Hey, he's alive!
25:23He's alive!
25:23No!
25:24tonight was awesome well we kind of got lucky i was sort of hoping to get caught what
25:39never been in trouble like to see what it's like sometimes you're such a crow boy
25:54i guess we are in trouble after all malcolm malcolm
26:06malcolm
26:24so
26:31so