Dave & Chuck the Freak find out from a documentary that some women in prison make dildos out of oatmeal and imagine what it would be like if Andy made his own 'Oatmeal Woman'.
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00:00A woman did a new documentary on female prisoners, and she was shocked to discover the food items
00:14that female prisoners use to pleasure themselves with.
00:20Where did they get it?
00:22Well, from food.
00:24I guess from the, you know, when they go eat.
00:26Commissary?
00:26Yeah.
00:27So, she talks to one inmate called Leah here in this clip.
00:33Like, we're doing everything to stop it.
00:34It's very, very, very hard.
00:36It's very complicated.
00:37It is very complicated.
00:39Women have needs.
00:40Oh, yes.
00:41And they're, yeah, relationship driven.
00:43Are there dildos in here?
00:44Or is it just like oral?
00:46No, they do everything.
00:47You would be amazed.
00:49They make those.
00:50They make dildos?
00:51They make them, yes.
00:52Out of what?
00:52I think before they used oatmeal.
00:56Oatmeal?
00:57Yeah, and I think they cook it or something.
01:00One lady said that they would use hot dogs.
01:02So, you have to be careful, you know, with them bringing hot dogs back and putting them
01:06so.
01:06Oatmeal and hot dogs.
01:07They come up with some things.
01:09Hot dogs we've heard of.
01:10Oatmeal?
01:11How do you make a dildo out of oatmeal?
01:12Will it just get hard?
01:14I will say, have you ever, my kids will do this every once in a while.
01:18They'll make oatmeal.
01:19Then they won't eat it.
01:22And then they'll put it in my sink.
01:25And then when you encounter it later, especially if they don't use like a ton of water or a ton
01:31of milk in there or something like that, it's the hardest substance of all time after it dries out.
01:39So, it becomes like concrete.
01:40Like a papier-mâché type of thing where it just solidifies.
01:46So, what do they do?
01:47They shape it into a donger?
01:48They must fashion it into a donger like a dildo shape.
01:50But then you're going to have to put some kind of covering on it.
01:53Yeah.
01:54Maybe just plastic wrap?
01:55Because like sand it.
01:57Like oatmeal inside of you.
01:58It doesn't seem like the best choice.
02:00No.
02:00It would just flake off and everything, right?
02:02Yeah, you're right.
02:03Maybe wrap like saran wrap around it or something or cling wrap.
02:05Something.
02:06You know, something to keep it together.
02:09Yeah.
02:09I'm going to see what I can make today out of oatmeal.
02:12I have a ton of oatmeal.
02:14Chuck's Craft Corner will fire up later today.
02:17I'm going to look up oatmeal dildos to see if there's pictures of any online here.
02:21Sure.
02:21I believe we talked in the past, too, that they melt down Jolly Ranchers and form it into sexual objects.
02:25Oh, we've heard that, yeah.
02:28Oatmeal dildos.
02:29Give me a picture of it.
02:30No, there's no oatmeal dildos on record.
02:34Until today when I make mine and put it out on social media.
02:37Join Chuck's Craft Corner as he makes oatmeal dildos later this afternoon.
02:41I want the first one from my collection.
02:43Yeah.
02:43I'll, yeah.
02:45This is from the Chuck Oatmeal series.
02:48Yeah.
02:49I have to get some sandpaper up.
02:50I like your idea.
02:52It's going to be maple.
02:55Like maple and brown sugar.
02:57It'll smell great.
02:58Then you can do, here's the strawberry oatmeal.
02:59Here's the blueberry oatmeal.
03:01Oh, very similar, but also, yeah, just enough difference.
03:05Exactly.
03:05Finding music for Chuck's Craft Corner for the introduction.
03:09Hey, everybody.
03:10Welcome to TikTok.
03:12I'm making a dick out of a dildo.
03:15Or another.
03:15An oatmeal dick.
03:18That's right.
03:20That's today on Chuck's Craft Corner.
03:23Right after the show where people shower with their moms.
03:28Yeah.
03:28Yeah.
03:29Oatmeal, I didn't see.
03:31I didn't see that one.
03:32No, like fashioning the amount of stuff.
03:34Yeah.
03:34Hey, listen, if anything, I know, hopefully none of us are ever that desperate.
03:38Yeah.
03:39No.
03:40No.
03:40I'll never make anything out of oatmeal.
03:42Don't go to prison.
03:43Yeah.
03:43Oatmeal.
03:45I tried to make an oatmeal woman.
03:48An oatmeal?
03:51It didn't work out.
03:52She fell apart in my arms.
03:53Oh, no.
03:54She fell apart right in my arms.
03:55She's gone.
03:56She's gone.
03:59I tried to make an oatmeal woman.
04:04Yeah.
04:05Oh, that's when you hit bottom, huh?
04:06That's when you hit bottom.
04:08She fell apart.
04:09Yep.
04:10I've used milk and water.
04:11Both.
04:12Apples and cinnamon.
04:13Apples and cinnamon, indeed.
04:15That's what you should call her.
04:16She had two apple eyes.
04:18I crushed her.
04:21I got on top of her and I crushed her.
04:23I tend to sweat when I have sex and I totally just blew her apart.
04:29Two weeks it took me to build her.
04:31She melted.
04:33I owe me a woman.
04:35What I love is she was a full woman when you first made her.
04:42Right.
04:42But then she slowly shipped away.
04:47Her legs off.
04:47But you still haven't given up hope on her.
04:49Stay with me.
04:50But then she finally disintegrates and then you scream like Tom Hanks.
04:54Oh, God, no!
04:56My only meal woman!
04:59Apple of infinity!
05:01I don't know what her name would be, but...
05:03Oprah!
05:07Oprah.
05:08Oprah.
05:09No, Oprah, no!
05:13Oh, man.
05:14I told you, you should have just built her just an ass.
05:20I know.
05:21I should have just...
05:21You were right.
05:22You can't build a whole...
05:23Oh, woman.
05:24You can't do it.
05:25I tried telling you.
05:27I'd miss the companionship.
05:29I know.
05:29She...
05:30She fell apart.
05:31It's crazy how you made her sitting down like that.
05:34All I had to put for her face was the Quaker Oats, man.
05:37I cut him off the package.
05:39Oh, man!
05:43Oh, woman!
05:44What's that?
05:45Oprah!
05:49What's that?
05:50What's that?
05:52Oh, man.
05:53That goes funny.
05:54Mm-hmm.
05:55Oh, well.
05:56I hope you don't ever have to resort to Oprah.
05:59My cream of wheat whore I tried to make, too.
06:01Oh, man.
06:03She was a mess.
06:04She was a real mess.
06:06Didn't solidify like you thought.
06:10I made a woman of beefaroni.
06:13God!
06:13That's the future.
06:16Yeah, what'd you make your woman out of?
06:19Raviolis.
06:20Oh, man.
06:22Smart.
06:23Real smart.
06:23You let them dry out.
06:24Yeah.
06:26Keep them in that shape.
06:29I bought a woman mold.
06:30Me?
06:30Oh, that's desperation done, right?
06:37It is, yeah.
06:37Bye.
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