MJTV: Does Roxanne Have Low Blood Sugar?
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00:00Larry, do you have any orange juice?
00:02Can I just have a little glass of orange juice?
00:03My blood sugar.
00:07So, before you guys walked in,
00:09Fester, you just walked in, Froggy,
00:10these two bozos,
00:12they have the tendency to literally walk in
00:14as the MJ morning show open goes,
00:16da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
00:18We were grandfathered into that
00:20from the old show.
00:21What does that mean?
00:22I want the first words that we share with each other
00:25to be the words that all of the listeners hear.
00:26Yeah, see, I don't want to talk to you guys.
00:28What do you mean you're grandfathered into walking in
00:32as the MJ morning, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
00:36The investor have looked at your grill for 20 years,
00:38and we deserve a little time to ourselves before the show.
00:42All right, before you two ass monkeys walked in here.
00:44Hmm, ass monkey.
00:46He's complimenting us this morning.
00:48I'll take it.
00:49Roxanne shared with me,
00:51hey, you ever feel a little low blood sugary?
00:56Yeah.
00:57And I'm like, no.
00:59I'd like you to have your finger on the pulse
01:02of what I'm feeling.
01:03Like, when I come in, I want you to know,
01:05yeah, I do need to eat something.
01:06Roxanne just said to me,
01:07I think I need to go get some oatmeal
01:09because I'm feeling wobbly.
01:12I'm feeling collapsing.
01:14You put an E at the end of everything you're feeling?
01:17Yeah, it was.
01:17It was very E.
01:18It's very scientific.
01:19Yeah, exactly.
01:20Very medically.
01:21Feeling sickly.
01:22So, were you in danger of, like, fainting?
01:27Or, you know, when I think of low blood sugar,
01:30what I think of somebody that has, you know,
01:32what is it, a low energy level,
01:34or as you called it, low.
01:36I think of people that are in danger
01:38of potentially fainting or, you know, falling down.
01:41Yeah, but I just slapped myself the whole way to work.
01:43So, I had a very diabetic aunt.
01:45Yeah, diabetic.
01:46She would always say, I have low blood sugar.
01:48Exactly.
01:48And she would, like, suck a lozenge.
01:51That's what she would do.
01:52She would have, like, those little mints in her pocket.
01:53Right.
01:54And she'd say, okay.
01:55I feel better.
01:57It's like Paul Blart needed candy.
01:59Or my aunt would say to my father, Larry,
02:00do you have any orange juice?
02:02Can I just have a little glass of orange juice?
02:04My blood sugar.
02:05My blood sugar is really low.
02:07When you said Larry, that reminds me of my parents.
02:09My parents like the Costanzas.
02:12If you hear, Larry!
02:15Last night, I was on the phone with my dad.
02:17My dad's 79.
02:18My mom's 76.
02:19And dad has a Hulu plan,
02:21like some family plan where he can have all these accounts.
02:24Don't you grift off it?
02:25Well, no.
02:25Well, he called me up and said,
02:27hey, I want to add you to my Hulu plan,
02:29which, listen, I'm fine with that.
02:30I don't need to pay for all these damn streaming services.
02:32I mean, you know, I've got Netflix I pay for.
02:34I pay for HBO, so I get HBO Max.
02:37What else do I, you know?
02:38I couldn't find Dexter last night.
02:40What is that on?
02:41Dexter is on Showtime.
02:43Oh, I've got to get that done.
02:45Yeah, I haven't even started watching that yet
02:46because I just have too much.
02:47It's on Hulu, too.
02:48Well, I'm sure they do.
02:49So I have HBO and Showtime as part of my cable bundle,
02:53so I have access to the...
02:55So I have Dexter's recorded on my DVR,
02:58you know, non-volatile, so they don't erase.
03:00So I've got to catch up.
03:01I just finished...
03:02You know, I'm caught up on Succession, finally.
03:04This past weekend, I caught up on Succession.
03:06Michelle hates that show.
03:07She can't stand it, so...
03:09Anybody in the room want to trade a Hulu password
03:11for an HBO Max password?
03:12No, no, no.
03:12Yes.
03:12Yes.
03:13I'm not doing that.
03:14So legitimately, I'm on my dad's account
03:16because my dad's allowed to have X number of accounts.
03:19Are you still on his car insurance, too?
03:21No, I'm not.
03:22What about his medical insurance?
03:23You're being a wise-ass over there?
03:25Yeah, I'd like to add my son to 56.
03:26You're being all wise-assy over there.
03:29So I was on the phone with my parents last night
03:32because suddenly the Hulu thing stopped working.
03:36It's like your credit card information's expired or whatever,
03:39and I just helped my dad update his credit card information
03:42like a month or two ago.
03:43It's like, what is going on here?
03:45So I had to get a hold of my dad,
03:47and Michelle and I were, you know,
03:49we're in the middle of, what, season six of Hill Street Blues.
03:52We watched all of the Hill Street Blues from the beginning,
03:55and we have time to sit down last night,
03:58and I'm going to do some little show prep
03:59and laptop in my lap, put Hill Street on,
04:02and credit card failure.
04:04So I have to call my dad up, and he's sleeping,
04:07and then I have to wait an hour for him to wake up
04:09from his nap at 8 o'clock last night.
04:11I'm tired.
04:12And then my mom is like, Larry!
04:15And then, you know, seriously,
04:17it sounds like the Costanzas back and forth.
04:20Serenity now!
04:21Serenity!
04:22So finally, I get my dad's credit card information hooked up,
04:25and we're good to go.
04:26I think he changed his zip code or something.
04:28I don't know what the billing zip code.
04:30So shut down.
04:32All right.
04:32So that's what my parents sound like the Costanzas.
04:35Absolutely.
04:36Well, my aunt sounds like the sister of Mr. Costanza
04:39looking for some orange juice to alleviate a low blood sugar.
04:42Well, and that's why I said, when you said, Larry,
04:45it's like, that's exactly what my mom sounds like.
04:47Larry!
04:48Todd's on the phone!
04:49Larry!
04:49Wake up!