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00:00The
00:30There's the woman that keeps us all above ground.
00:42Hello, Willie.
00:43How's Nostma Lonnie?
00:44Grand.
00:45You know you've my number one vote.
00:47Thanks, I know I could rely on you.
00:48And I can promise you the Mammy's vote as well.
00:50Thanks, Sheila, they all count.
00:52Poor old Mammy.
00:54How long is it now?
00:55Oh, she'll be gone for almost three years next February.
00:58Is it that long?
00:59Tis.
01:00Yoo-hoo!
01:01Excuse me, Sheila.
01:04Hello, Willie.
01:08Good girl, Doretti.
01:12Ah, Larry.
01:14Great to see you with the usual support.
01:15What's that?
01:16It's great to see your team is as big as ever.
01:19Well, at least my supporters are all alive.
01:23Oh, I wouldn't trust him to be able to vote for himself.
01:26I hope you clean that up after yourself, Larry.
01:34Little's a big issue.
01:35Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:37Oh, that stinks.
01:44No, no, no.
01:45That's well off.
01:46No, no, no, really.
01:47It is meant to smell like that.
01:51How's this, sir?
01:52Ah, Mr. Willie.
01:53What way is she cutting?
01:55What?
01:56What way is she cutting?
01:58No, I'm grand, thanks.
02:00Listen, you never put an old poster up for us.
02:01Ah, yes, the election.
02:03Mr. Larry gave me one, too.
02:04Listen, if you're seven cats in a row later, I'm launching my campaign over in Jaxies.
02:10Oh, you'll be exposing your manifesto?
02:13No, I'll be none of that sort of old thing.
02:15It's just a reception.
02:20I'd have to go for the dandy.
02:21With Desperate Dan.
02:23Desperate Dan.
02:24Desperate Dan.
02:24Good man, the Dan.
02:26Bully beef and chips.
02:27Corky the cat.
02:29And what about you, Timmy?
02:30Huh?
02:30What comic did you get?
02:33Twinkle.
02:34What?
02:35Twinkle.
02:36Never heard of it.
02:38Me neither.
02:39It's a girl's comic.
02:41It isn't.
02:41It is.
02:42It is not.
02:43Who is in it so?
02:45Jenny Wren.
02:47Nancy the Little Nurse.
02:49Nancy the Little Nurse.
02:51You forgot about Jilly.
02:53Jilly?
02:54Jilly a Jingle Bell School.
02:56She was in Twinkle, wasn't she?
02:58Oh, yeah.
02:59Jilly a Jingle Bell School.
03:02What?
03:03Have you never seen a girl behind a bar before?
03:06No.
03:08This is the one I was telling you about.
03:09This is Denise.
03:10Hello, Denise.
03:12Your sister's young one, Mary.
03:14And you three must be the famous Dan, Timmy and Jimmy.
03:17I suppose we must.
03:19I'm sure someone has to be.
03:20I'm on work experience for a fortnight.
03:23A week.
03:25The menu?
03:26Today's no menu.
03:27Everybody knows what we have here.
03:28Toast of sandwiches.
03:30Taters.
03:31Pink snacks.
03:32Well, then.
03:33Plenty of scope for improvement.
03:35Gentlemen, what would you like to see on the menu?
03:38Toast of sandwiches.
03:40Taters.
03:40Pink snacks.
03:42Come on, Jimmy.
03:43That's the one.
03:47Great to see you talking to Paul again, Willie.
03:48Well?
03:49I think it's great.
03:59It's a bit of robbery.
04:01Dan?
04:03What's it called?
04:05Calamari Ripienny.
04:07Mother of God.
04:09Calamari Ripienny.
04:11Didn't he play for AC Milan?
04:14Calamari Ripienny.
04:16What's in it?
04:17Squid.
04:24God bless the work.
04:25Oh, hello, Father.
04:30Larry Cummins.
04:31He's a local lad, is he?
04:32It's me, Father.
04:45Oh, so it is.
04:48Good man.
04:49Good man.
04:50Good luck.
04:51Thank you, Father.
04:52Actually, I'm launching my campaign tonight, low in the hall.
04:58You might stick your head in later.
05:01You know, Larry, I won't.
05:02And I'll tell you, it's best for me not to, you know, be seen to take sides in this kind of thing.
05:09That's fair enough, Father.
05:11Board number one, we've heard of how to get things done.
05:14How are you, Father?
05:15Good man.
05:16Good man.
05:17Good man.
05:17Good man.
05:17How are you, Father?
05:18That can't be right, Father.
05:21In fairness, Larry, he's powerful enough around here.
05:24No.
05:25I mean, the guard, the care.
05:28The guards are meant to be neutral.
05:33Oh.
05:35I suppose they are.
05:36Yeah, neutral.
05:37And he has a large willy, stuck up in every shop window in the town.
05:45At least the church stay out of things.
05:48Well, God bless you, Father.
05:51Good night, Willie.
05:52Good night.
05:53What?
05:53Oh, Larry.
05:56Larry.
05:56Larry.
05:56The power to get things done.
06:10That is good.
06:11You're a politician.
06:12They're all a bunch of chancers.
06:14You could have something there, Jacksy.
06:15Politics is all about lies and deception.
06:18It's called duggery and deceit, where promises are broken and dreams are shuffled.
06:22Abide again!
06:23Well, the honest man is near that, and the winner is the man that can stab you and smile
06:28at the same time.
06:29Hang down!
06:32There's also a negative side to it.
06:35What are you doing there?
06:37I'm collecting them.
06:39Did you know my father was a member of the German parliament?
06:43Your father?
06:44Yes.
06:45Father.
06:46Father.
06:47We didn't know that, did we, lads?
06:49No.
06:49It's true.
06:50The night he was elected, his supporters lifted him across the street by the Bundestag.
06:56That must be painful.
07:01No.
07:02In fact, it was a very joyous occasion.
07:05Dieter is thinking of running.
07:07Why not?
07:08Fine fits, young fella.
07:09Did a bit of running myself in college, you know?
07:1110K, half maritons, that kind of thing.
07:13He's thinking of running for election.
07:14Oh, really?
07:18Just thinking about it.
07:22I wouldn't do that around here, Dieter.
07:24Why not?
07:25Why not?
07:27Sure, everyone knows only divine intervention could stop Willy winning.
07:32Divine?
07:33Intervention.
07:34A miracle, Dieter.
07:36A miracle.
07:38Right there, in the back seat, in broad daylight.
07:43Broad daylight, Mr. Power.
07:45Is that so?
07:46And him, 87 years of age in September.
07:49Really?
07:50I am not as well you know, Mr. Power, in the habit of repeating myself.
07:55But I'm telling you, because you're the man to get things done.
07:59Leave it to me, Mrs. Gilholy.
08:01Now, the other night...
08:02Can you excuse me for one minute?
08:03Sure, that looks kind of...
08:06What did she call it?
08:09Guacamole.
08:10How are things in guacamole?
08:18Well, if there aren't any more questions...
08:22Yes.
08:23We're here for the sing-along sound of music.
08:27I beg your pardon?
08:29The sing-along sound of music?
08:32When is it?
08:33That's tomorrow night, ladies.
08:38For fix sake!
08:40Come on!
08:41The pedestrian crossing.
08:53Well, the good news is, I was talking to the minister's wife this morning, so we have it from the horse's mouth, so to speak, that they're giving us the orange light on the project.
09:00So Willie Power delivers once again.
09:06So, all I want to do next week, lads, vote number one, Willie Power.
09:11I have the power to get things done!
09:17I have questions!
09:19Cue this!
09:21Dieter has a question.
09:23What is it, Dieter?
09:25I'm a little confused.
09:27You really are right, Dieter. You're among friends.
09:31What are your policies?
09:33What's that, Dieter?
09:35What are your policies?
09:37Policies?
09:39Yes. What do you stand for?
09:41Well, just like this, Dieter.
09:43I stand now for the same thing I stood for the last time I ran.
09:47And when I ran before that, I stood for the very same thing.
09:50And every time I stand, I'm running, so to speak, on the same platform.
09:54And every single person here tonight knows
09:56that whether I'm sitting, standing, running or, God forbid,
09:59lying on the flat of my back,
10:01Willy Power will not walk away from the people of killing the Scully.
10:04Willy!
10:06Willy!
10:07Willy!
10:08Willy!
10:09Willy!
10:10Willy!
10:11Now, does that answer your question, Dieter?
10:13Not exactly.
10:14I just want to know what your policies are.
10:17What about the ozone layer?
10:19I've no problem standing on the ozone layer.
10:21GM food?
10:22Wind farms?
10:23What about toxic emissions?
10:25Toxic emissions?
10:26That's the sort of mean, personal, snide remark
10:28of a personal nation that I'd expect out of Larry Cummins,
10:30but not out of you, Dieter.
10:31Now, if you have something to say,
10:32you'd better say it now.
10:33And Nunden and Nancy have just knocked over one of your willies.
10:50I am wishing to stand.
10:52But you are standing.
10:54I am wishing to stand for election.
10:58Luder.
10:59Be God, that was some night.
11:00There was fair damage done.
11:01Any word from Dan?
11:02You're hanging sick.
11:03It must have been the guacamole.
11:04Of all the ungrateful, snivelling little.
11:06Like Dan?
11:07No, Dieter.
11:08Luder.
11:09And when he landed on here from Germany to make his film about the history of the parish,
11:11who bent over backwards for him?
11:12Miss Fahey.
11:13Me.
11:14And how does he repay me?
11:15I am wishing to stand.
11:16Who wants to try this?
11:17God, no.
11:18Councillor Power?
11:19Go on.
11:20Can't be in there.
11:21Can't be a good...
11:22Can't be in there.
11:23He must have been the guacamole.
11:24Of all the ungrateful, snivelling little...
11:25But Dan?
11:26No, Deter.
11:27No, Deter.
11:28And when he landed on here from Germany to make his film about the history of the parish,
11:29who bent over backwards for him?
11:30Miss Fahey.
11:31Me.
11:32And how does he repay me?
11:34I am wishing to stand.
11:36Who wants to try this?
11:38God, no.
11:39Councillor Power?
11:40Go on.
11:42Can't be any worse than that guacca, whatchamacallit.
11:45What's it this time?
11:46Less cargo.
11:48Less cargo? Wasn't he a horse?
11:50It's not a thickin' horse, is it?
11:52No.
11:54It's snail.
12:05I will ensure a bottle bank will be installed beside the church.
12:08This will cut our domestic waste by 37%.
12:13That is good, yes?
12:17Do you know that in Killina Scully we consume 2780 bottles of beer every week?
12:24That is one bottle for every single person.
12:29Where do I get mine?
12:30Excuse me?
12:31You said there was one bottle for every single person.
12:33When will they be given out?
12:35No, you don't understand.
12:37You see...
12:38Is it just single people?
12:40He said every single person.
12:42Listen to the men.
12:44What about widows?
12:46Are they single people?
12:48Did he mention widows?
12:49You want to pull yourself together, will you?
13:01You're not half the man you used to be.
13:05Now, coming last but not coming least are the windmills.
13:10I was doing your head case, but it's a bit ridiculous.
13:18It's more than a character, will you?
13:22Now, coming last, but not coming least, are the windmills.
13:30Windmills? Windmills.
13:35Oh.
13:37Windmills? That's what I heard.
13:38He's promising a windmill for every house and free electricity.
13:43Windmills? Where do you think we are? In the other regions?
13:46Free electricity is not to be sneezed at.
13:48There's talk of free cheese for them that votes for him.
13:51Free cheese? Sure, that's bribery.
13:54Come here. What are you all having?
13:56A pint and a paddy.
13:58Gin and Thai. A toasted sandwich.
14:00I'm Mary.
14:01Timmy's coming in later. Make that two pints, two paddies, two toasted sandwiches.
14:05And some crisps.
14:17Well, Dan, I kept a bit of that guacke, or whatever you may call it for you.
14:21There was a pad of it other night.
14:23Lord God, will you go away with me with that stuff, Jaxie?
14:25Jacksy, I wasn't right for the night after that.
14:28The septic tank was overflowing this morning when I left.
14:31Oh, God.
14:33And I said it to Bridie, I said you want him blocked every stick.
14:37Wasn't there some famous fella when chasing women with a stick?
14:40Don Coyote.
14:42That was him.
14:43What this was his problem?
14:44He was Spanish.
14:45Wait till you hear this.
14:46He tells this lovely.
14:48He had a sidekick.
14:50Senta panza.
14:52Senta panza.
14:53And he used to go chasing around after windmills with a...
14:56With a spear.
14:57With a lance.
14:58What are they against windmills?
15:00Haven't he thought they were giants or something?
15:03Was their drink taken?
15:04Now, who wants to try this?
15:08I must go straight in the spots.
15:10What's this then?
15:11Sushi.
15:13If you knew sushi like I knew sushi...
15:16Timmy?
15:23Well, it's lovely.
15:34What do you mean, voting pact?
15:39It's very simple, Dieter.
15:42We combine our resources.
15:46We join forces to beat Willy Power.
15:51I don't think I...
15:52Look.
15:53I ask my supporters to vote number one, Larry Cummins.
15:59Number two, Dieter Langer.
16:03And you ask your supporters to vote number one, Larry Cummins.
16:10And number two, Dieter Langer.
16:12Surely my supporters will vote number one for me.
16:19Well, feck you so.
16:22If you're going to be greedy about it, it'll never work.
16:26No, Nick.
16:36I'm really.
16:36No, Febby.
16:42Does she have Langer all over the front of her...
16:45top?
16:46Who is it?
17:00Larry Cummins.
17:02I'm running for...
17:03Half back off.
17:04We said it was stuck, didn't we?
17:13We did.
17:14Well, where the hell is everybody?
17:30Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, CUNIS, CUNIS, CUNIS, CUNIS.
17:33CUNIS!
17:36Please welcome our candidate for county councillor, Mr Dieter Langer.
17:41Thank you very much.
17:52It's hard to believe I only joined the race two days ago, and already I have so much support.
18:03You can count on my vote.
18:06And Memmi's vote too.
18:10Now, tonight I would like to talk about the ozone layer, and what we can do to stop the
18:17hole expanding.
18:19Tell us about the free electricity.
18:21I beg your pardon?
18:23I am not Mr. Langer in the habit of repeating myself.
18:27But tell us about the free electricity.
18:30The free?
18:34Electricity.
18:35The windmills.
18:36Oh, yes.
18:37Well, I propose that every house and business install a windmill linked to a generator.
18:46With free electricity.
18:48Well, yes.
18:50No more bills.
18:51We make our own electricity.
18:52Well, that gets my vote.
19:01And Robert's too.
19:04God rest.
19:05A voting pact?
19:13It's very simple, Willie.
19:16We combine our resources.
19:20We join forces to beat Dieter.
19:24Hell will freeze over before a power will depend on one of the Cumminses to get elected.
19:30He might have a point, Willie.
19:32Dieter has given it a good run.
19:34That free electricity has gone over very well.
19:37Windmills.
19:37I've been doing a bit of polling on the side.
19:41Does your wife know?
19:43Asking people who they're going to vote for.
19:45Oh.
19:47I set up a checkpoint below at the cross and did a bit of a survey.
19:51Now, when asked would you vote for Willie Power, 23% said yes.
19:56Oh.
19:5762% said no.
20:00Oh.
20:00And 15% said it was a waste of police time.
20:04When asked would they vote for Dieter Langer, 87% said yes.
20:10Oh.
20:116% said no.
20:13And 7% drove off without an answer.
20:16What about me?
20:20When asked would you vote for Larry Cummins, 4% said no.
20:24Oh.
20:27And 96% said who?
20:30Now, are there any other questions for the candidate?
20:40Love, Suez.
20:42Bridie Clancy, ma'am Cully.
20:45Is it true that the windmills will interfere with the telly?
20:50The telly?
20:53Television reception.
20:55Well, I have never heard...
20:58Willie Power says that if we get the windmills, we lose the telly.
21:02Oh.
21:04Now, I don't think that's quite true.
21:07What about South Park?
21:09They'd be gone.
21:10What about the Vatican Channel?
21:13Gone.
21:15Oh.
21:16What about the Magic Channel?
21:18That'd disappear too.
21:19S&M TV.
21:24That'd be gone.
21:26Men and mopeds.
21:28Gone.
21:29Oh.
21:30But please, I really don't think...
21:33They'd be all gone.
21:36Sports, cooking, gardening.
21:39Unless you've editionised, Benjamin.
21:41I never watch the telly myself.
21:46Neither do I.
21:52It gives me great pleasure, as returning officer for this area, to announce the results of this local election.
22:00On these occasions, one cannot help bringing to mind the words of the poet Wilkington when he said...
22:07Just read out the results like a good man.
22:09Turnout 2,194.
22:14Spoiled votes, won.
22:17Loader.
22:18Cummins, Larry, Independent, won.
22:22Cummins, Larry, at least you're consistent.
22:30Langer.
22:32Dieter.
22:34Green candidate.
22:36Very green candidate.
22:38Two.
22:43Power.
22:44Willie.
22:45Independent, Republican, Christian, Social Democrat, 2,190.
22:52While the power of Willie has exceeded the quota, I hereby declare him elected.
23:07Hooray!
23:08Hooray!
23:09Hooray!
23:10Hooray!
23:11Hooray!
23:12Hooray!
23:13Hooray!
23:14Hooray!
23:15Hooray!
23:16Hooray!
23:17Hooray!
23:18Hooray!
23:19Hooray!
23:20Hooray!
23:21Hooray!
23:22I gotcha!
23:23I gotcha, galera!
23:24I gotcha, galera!
23:25Gwynny Oisland!
23:26Tom!
23:27I'd just like to say...
23:30A big thank you to all my supporters.
23:32Hooray!
23:33Hooray!
23:34Hooray!
23:35Hooray!
23:36Hooray!
23:37And I'd like to say fair play to Dieter Langer, a worthy opponent.
23:40Yay!
23:42And to Larry Cummins, who ran as well.
23:45Now, there must be a lot of hungry election workers down there, so let's get the party started.
23:49Hooray!
23:50Hooray!
23:51Hooray!
23:52Have a bit of rope there, Jackson, will ya?
23:54Right there, will ya?
23:55Father, one thing puzzles me.
23:58Many of the people who vote and kill on a scully are in fact dead.
24:02Is that right?
24:04Yes.
24:05That gas!
24:07Does that not vary you?
24:10Dieter, it's like this.
24:12Things are so bad in my business that any old hint of an afterlife is a good thing.
24:16Do you follow?
24:23So, what's tonight's surprise?
24:24We have toasted sandwiches, Tito's, pink snacks.
24:29Woo!
24:30Woo!
24:31Woo!
24:32Woo!
24:33Willie Powell's back in the council, pink snacks are back in the menu, and God's in his heaven
24:37above.
24:38All's right with the world.
24:39I give up.
24:40You learned a valuable lesson there, Mary.
24:42What's that, Dan?
24:43If it's not broke, leave it alone.
24:46Change might work well in other places, but around here we likes to stay at his core.
24:50And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it, I like,
24:55I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, here we go, I rock it all over the world.
25:01Wee Wee Wee Wee Wee
25:02Wee
25:31Amen.