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00:00Lala-la-la-la-la-la-la
00:30Masks, hats, everything for Halloween.
00:46The place is all shaped, they'll frighten you.
00:48Come on, lads.
00:49Boo!
00:51Hey, do you want to get a mask, man, there?
00:52Even your own mother wouldn't know, you know.
00:56The Scottish play?
00:57Yeah.
00:58And you were in it?
00:59It was a small part, but I was in it.
01:01When was this, Dan?
01:02Yeah, years ago, when the fit-ups used to come around.
01:04The what-ups?
01:05The fit-ups, the travel and theatre company.
01:07Wait till you hear this, I love this.
01:08I never heard of the Scottish play.
01:10Yeah, but that's not the real name of it.
01:12No.
01:13No, that's just the name used by us thesbians.
01:15Thesbians?
01:17Luther.
01:18What's the real name of it, sir?
01:20I can't tell you that.
01:22Is it a secret?
01:23No, it's bad luck to mention the name of it.
01:25Why?
01:26It just is.
01:27So you always say, the Scottish play?
01:29Exactly.
01:30Never Macbeth.
01:32Mac what?
01:32Macbeth.
01:33So that's the real name of it.
01:35You unadulterated own shock.
01:37How many times have you to be told?
01:39Sorry.
01:40Outside, spit, turn around three times and ask to be let back in.
01:44He fell for that one, Dan.
01:46There's no falling for anything.
01:48That's the only way to shake off the curse.
01:50Curse?
01:51Yeah.
01:52It's bad luck to mention the name of the Scottish play.
01:54You have to make amends.
01:56Tell us about this play anyway.
01:57Well, the fit-ups used to come around.
01:59There was a fellow by the name of Andrew McMasters.
02:01I remember him.
02:02Yeah.
02:03A big tall fellow there was a travelling troop and a hat.
02:06Well, they always asked a prominent local to get involved.
02:09Of course, they asked me to play the part of the warrior.
02:11So I went down to the hall and I met him.
02:13And he taught me what to say and gave me a week.
02:16Now, the part I was to play was...
02:17Small but pivotal.
02:19I loves that.
02:20Small but pivotal.
02:22Did you ask to come back in?
02:23No.
02:26The part I was to play was small but pivotal.
02:29Pivotal?
02:30Small part but a big part at the same time.
02:33Now you have it.
02:34Can I come in?
02:36All right.
02:39Anyway, in the play.
02:40The Scottish play.
02:42There was a bit of a needle between the two clans.
02:44And near the end there was a big battle.
02:46Oh, shields, spears.
02:48Shields, spears.
02:49Or in our case, hurlies.
02:51Here you go then.
02:52Well, at the significant moment,
02:55I stepped out through the fog for all the world.
02:57Small but pivotal.
03:00Like a Scottish warrior, you looter.
03:02And me man McMasters is playing the king.
03:05Standing on a class of a cardboard rock.
03:08Well, says I to him...
03:09As I stood upon my watch,
03:12I looked towards Byron and Annan.
03:15The woods began to move.
03:17That was good.
03:18The boy then had...
03:19Well, he let a roar out of him.
03:22Liar than a slave, says he.
03:24Go away.
03:25Well, feck you, says I.
03:27She wasn't you the one that told me to say it.
03:28And he shook his head.
03:30And what's more, says I,
03:31you wrote it down on the back of a gold-flaked box
03:33and I pulled out the box and I showed it to him.
03:35You did?
03:37Funny, the fit-ups never came around again after that.
03:44Trick or treat?
03:45Trick.
03:46Or a treat.
03:46Oh, er, I think I will have the treat, please.
03:50Feck off!
03:52Lunar!
03:53Hello, ladies.
03:55Hello, ladies.
03:56Hello, father.
03:58God bless, ladies.
03:59That's a fact.
04:04The one crowd that are not into Halloween
04:05are the Jehovah's Witnesses.
04:07I suppose against their religion.
04:08Didn't that at all.
04:09They just don't like people coming around
04:11knocking on the door and lighting them.
04:14How are you, father?
04:15Can I get you?
04:16Erm, I'll have a cup of coffee, please, Jacksy,
04:18if it's not too much trouble.
04:19Right, chair.
04:20I was hoping I might find Willie Powerful.
04:24Father, I try out not to give you a cup of coffee.
04:27Feckin' joke, Kickel.
04:28Hop up there, Jimmy.
04:29You didn't flick that switch from your good man.
04:31No coffee, father.
04:32Can you get something else?
04:33Ach, no.
04:34I was really only hoping to bump into Willie.
04:36No sign of him so far.
04:37Well, she'll...
04:38Listen, you might be interested.
04:40I finally took myself up the attic.
04:43Is that right, father?
04:44Of course, it hadn't been cleaned for years.
04:45Most of the stuff up there belonged to old father malarkey.
04:47Filthy, musty, smelly.
04:49True, father, but he was well liked.
04:51And no, I meant the attic, Dan.
04:53Oh.
04:54Anyway, didn't I find this?
04:55The Killin' a Scully Annual Halloween One Act Drama Festival
04:591955.
05:01There was two groups competing.
05:03The Killin' a Scully Drama Circle
05:04and the Bally Players.
05:06Isn't that gas?
05:06It is, father.
05:07Killin' a Scully put on
05:08The Priest and The Pot of Soup
05:10and The Bally Crowd put on
05:12The Chairs by Eugene Oadshach.
05:14UNESCO, that's right.
05:16How long did it run for?
05:18Two one-act plays.
05:19That'll be about an hour, wouldn't it?
05:20No, how many years?
05:22Only the one, father.
05:23Really?
05:24Well, that's all about to change.
05:27What do you mean?
05:30I've decided to revive
05:31The Killin' a Scully Annual Halloween One Act Drama Festival.
05:37Excuse me, father.
05:38I have to go straight in the spuds.
05:39Yes.
05:42Fick.
05:47Bottom?
05:48Yes, yes.
05:49In Midsummer Night's Dream, in college.
05:51That's the extent of my acting, I'm afraid.
05:53I bet you're a lovely bottom, father.
05:57Thanks, Garethie.
05:58Would you like some Halloween break?
06:00Oh, thanks, Garethie.
06:03Mmm.
06:04God, this takes me back.
06:06Puck.
06:07I beg your pardon?
06:09Puck! My husband Mossy played Puck once
06:11Oh, yes, one of the fairies
06:14Yes, that's what my mother used to always say
06:16Although I can assure you, Father, we were happily married for years
06:20So, you're thinking of bringing back the annual Halloween one-act drama festival?
06:26Yes, Gretty, I am
06:27The idea didn't seem to go down too well in Jaxies
06:30What do you think?
06:33I don't think it's a good idea, Father
06:35It didn't go down terribly well the last time
06:37In 55?
06:39Yes, they say there's a curse attached to it
06:41You'll have no look for it, Father
06:43I've got written
06:44Let's talk of a curse and bad look
06:47It's all nonsense
06:48It's not as if we were living in the...
06:51In the mid...
06:52Father!
07:01Look, Father
07:02You nearly choked on my ring
07:05See what you can do with that lot
07:11Go ahead, Dick
07:12I confiscated them in Bali last night
07:14I have a load of them below in the station
07:16Wait, hear this
07:16Hats!
07:17Baths!
07:18Fireworks!
07:19Price is so sharp, they're explosive
07:20Well, look, Dick
07:22Well, look
07:23Sergeant, could I have a quick word?
07:24Hello, Father
07:25Come on down to the car
07:26I have something I want to show you
07:28Dick, I think something bad happened here
07:29In 1955
07:31Thanks for telling us straight away, Father
07:33The first 48 hours of any investigation is void
07:37No, no, no
07:37I don't want you to investigate it
07:39Well, that's a relief
07:40Here
07:41Throw your eye over this, Father
07:44Wouldn't that look very well below in the side altar in the church?
07:48I don't think a picture of a communist is very appropriate for a church
07:52Huh?
07:53That's Fidel Castro
07:55A communist told me it was a drapeo
07:57No
07:59The fecker
08:01And I thought you had them above in the station
08:03You were had
08:04Listen, do you know anything about the annual drama festival in 1955?
08:09I do indeed
08:10Well?
08:12I have a policy of not discussing cases that might be a bit sensitive
08:15From 1955?
08:17Are you sure you're not interested in the picture, Father?
08:22How much?
08:2460 euro
08:24All right
08:26Good man
08:28Now
08:29Dan's father
08:31Was deeply involved in the festival in 1955
08:34And?
08:37Well, obviously, Dan
08:38It's a man with all the details
08:39Will I wrap this for your father?
08:411955
08:47I gathered that much
08:50There was two entries
08:51Ourselves and the Ballyby's
08:53If there's a show worse than the Black and Tans
08:56It's that show over in Bally
08:58What happened?
08:59We did a proper play
09:00A good play
09:01An Irish play
09:03The priest and the pot of soup
09:04We did it well
09:05We had a real set
09:08A dresser
09:09Table and chairs
09:11And a real cottage
09:13My father
09:14Blood rest his soul, Father
09:16Attached it himself
09:17Attached the set?
09:19Attached it
09:19Dan's father
09:20God writ
09:22And the other shower
09:25The Ballyboys
09:26Arrived on with a bunch of old chairs
09:29No set
09:29I ask you
09:31But their play was called
09:32The Chairs
09:33That's right, Father
09:35A greater heap of rubbish
09:37You'd be hard-pressed to find anywhere
09:38So the cast was invisible
09:40He loves this bit
09:42Except for a couple of old ones
09:43Yapping away to the invisible people
09:45About some emperor
09:46Who was due on it any minute
09:47And then the curtain's through
09:49I mean
09:49I mean, you call that a play
09:50No dresser or nothing
09:52Maybe it was art
09:53Art me art
09:55I know, Dan
09:55You have to be open for new experiences
09:59Now, lads
10:00When I was in college
10:01In all fairness, Father
10:02This has nothing got to do with college
10:04I take it the Ballyplayers won?
10:06We were beaten by eight chairs
10:08Two aegis
10:09And a clown with a blackboard
10:11They didn't even have a set
10:12Or a play
10:13Isn't it Cass?
10:17Cass?
10:18No
10:19Tell him, Dan
10:21He might as well know
10:22Well, tempers are rising
10:24At the presentation of the prizes
10:26When the Ballyboys
10:28Eight feckin' chairs
10:29Was won best set award
10:31Over our cottage
10:32Well, a scuffle broke out
10:34And the adjudicator got a slap in the gob
10:36From a box of USA assorted biscuits
10:38That was meant for the raffle
10:40That's when the Ballyboys
10:42Nailfatter Heslip
10:43Sue Tan to the stage
10:45Well, we broke three of their chairs
10:47They dragged down the dresser
10:49Breaking three plates and two saucers
10:51Belonging to
10:52Does anyone hear that music?
10:55None he gathered
10:59None he gathered
11:00Wait till you hear where the Ballyboys sit next, father
11:03They threw a sweet haften butt into the tach
11:06The whole lot took off
11:08The tach
11:09Set
11:10The hall
11:11All up in flames
11:12We were looking to get out of there with our lives
11:14And the only sound that could be heard
11:16Over the sound of the burning
11:17Was the sound of the Ballyboys yelping
11:20As they ran across the fields
11:21I'll tell you this much, father
11:24That set
11:26Was the best bit of tach my father ever did
11:29And he took to the bed after that
11:31And that, father
11:32Is why there hasn't been a drama festival
11:34In Kilna Scully for 50 years
11:36I'll, er
11:39I wish someone had told me about this before
11:42Before what, father?
11:44Er, before I advertised the, um
11:46Second
11:47Annual
11:48Drama Festival
11:50One entry already?
11:52Ha
11:52Ballet players
11:55Now the main item on the agenda here today
12:06Is to decide which play we're going to do
12:08Now it's never good to change a winning team
12:10In the middle of a race
12:11So I'm proposing here today
12:13That we do the priest
12:14And the pot of soup
12:15It was good enough 50 years ago
12:17It's good enough now
12:17What's it about, Willie?
12:20About 30 minutes
12:21Which is just right for a one night
12:23What's the story?
12:24A hilarious comedy about a priest
12:26A dresser
12:27A mother
12:27An evil landlord
12:28And an eejit
12:30Isn't that exactly what we're looking for?
12:32Right
12:32Well, that's that second song
12:33May I say something?
12:36Now, for the next thing on the agenda
12:37The set
12:38Dan Clancy has agreed to tach it
12:40Yay!
12:41It's in the pie
12:43Come on, Dan
12:44We have him now
12:45Woo!
12:46And I'm delighted to announce here
12:48As your public representative
12:49That as we speak
12:50Pa Connors is scouring the countryside
12:52For a dresser
12:53Yay!
12:54May I say something?
12:58This drama festival
12:59Is a great opportunity for us
13:01To nurture good relations
13:03With our neighbouring parish
13:04And knock seven shades of shite
13:08Out of the valley wise
13:09Yay!
13:10Larry!
13:11Larry!
13:12I think Larry would like to say something, Willie
13:14The chair recognises Larry Cummins
13:17What's it now, Larry?
13:19I was thinking
13:20That's a first for Larry
13:21I was thinking
13:24What about a backdrop?
13:27Backdrop?
13:29Backdrop?
13:30Yeah
13:31A painted cloth
13:33Of a cottage
13:34It'd save us
13:37A lot
13:38Of money
13:39That's just typical of you, Larry Cummins
13:41Thinking you can waltz in here
13:43In the election year
13:44And try and make a political football
13:46Out of the priest in the pot of soup
13:48And sabotage
13:49Killing a scully's chance
13:50At bringing back the cup
13:51For the best set
13:52And avenging the wrong
13:53Done to dance
13:54Farrah
13:54I was only saying
13:58Well, don't be only saying
14:00Now, we'll have our set
14:02And it'll be good
14:03We'll have three walls
14:05A dresser
14:05An attached roof
14:07Now, there's a lot of work to be done
14:09So, if there's nothing else to be said
14:10Let's get started
14:11As a matter of interest, Willie
14:13What are the ballet players doing?
14:16Feral
14:16Erm
14:18The chairs by Ionesco
14:21This means war
14:22How much is the dresser?
14:3150 euro
14:32Are the ornaments included?
14:33No
14:34You can keep it so
14:35How's it going above in the hall?
14:39Grand Dick
14:39Once we get the walls up
14:40We'll get stuck into the roof
14:41And how's the attach going then?
14:44Are you able to get enough of it?
14:45Yeah, there's the word of it
14:46Up at the back of Rattlin Hall
14:47The yellow African reed
14:49Pinky Potter then brought it back
14:50From Botswana
14:51But the father swore by it
14:52Said he wouldn't attach with anything else
14:54Can I interest you
14:55In some cable ties?
14:57No, Dick
14:58We'll do this the old-fashioned way
14:59One more time, please
15:04This cottage is mine
15:08And the rent is due
15:09And I take it whatever way I can
15:11Look away, Mother
15:13Wait
15:14Wait
15:15I come from the police
15:17Tis my way of thinking this night
15:21That this man
15:22That this man
15:23Is an interluder
15:24No, no, no, no
15:27I'm sorry, Theo
15:28This man is a interloper
15:29Sorry, that's
15:30Sorry
15:30I'll get it right in the net, Theo
15:31I will
15:32Sorry
15:34Poor old Pinky
15:37Who was Pinky Potterton?
15:40Oh, he was a famous botanicalist
15:41Yeah, he used to go traipsing
15:43All over the world there
15:44Collecting old flowers
15:45And plants
15:46And trees
15:47And things like that there
15:48And he used to cross-pollinate
15:49And blow it to big house
15:50Oh, I remember he had this one particular plant
15:53Big, huge, green yuck there
15:55Oh, God, to the fierce, ugly-looking thing
15:57An awful cut of yuck
15:58But he was fierce attached to it
16:00I remember that
16:01Fellas used to come from all over
16:04And take cuttins of it
16:05Didn't Pinky used to put in his pipe?
16:07Dan, Dan
16:08He did?
16:09She never took it out of his mouth, sir
16:11So, Pinky and the father
16:13Got me good to him
16:13Were very close
16:14Pinky used to call her out to the house
16:16When I was a young fella
16:16And the two would sit around the fire there
16:19Smoking down the pipe
16:20And laughing
16:21And then
16:23And then
16:24When he came up around two in the morning
16:26And the old panda come out
16:27And a mountain of food
16:28You've never seen the lights
16:29Of an ear for four
16:30Brasher's eggs and black pudding
16:32Brasher's eggs and black pudding
16:34And the light
16:35And then they'd have a big pot of tea
16:37And then Pinky'd pull out a few squads
16:39He was after bringing up with him
16:40And next thing they'd start off
16:41And they'd laugh at it
16:42And the cat finale again
16:49Do you remember that, Jack, see?
16:50It's no wonder he came to a bad end
16:53What sort of a bad end?
16:56I was found hanging above in the London
16:57They say in order for him to get the rope up that high
17:00He had to drag the sideboard out onto the London
17:02And for now for the ease of age
17:04I don't know how he managed it
17:05Where was this done?
17:07Above in Racklin Hall
17:08Where we're going to get the reeds
17:10Yeah!
17:12Interloper
17:12Interluder
17:14Ow, what?
17:15Sorry, Father
17:16She's ready for the touch, lads
17:20Right
17:22Come on
17:25This is taking ages
17:31We're nearly done
17:32Can we not go now, Dan?
17:33I'm scared
17:34Is that enough, Dan?
17:40Better be, I'm knackered
17:41Yeah, that should be enough, I suppose
17:43Ah, there's timing for you
17:45Come on, let's go
17:46Good
17:47This place gives me the willies
17:49Ha, luder
17:50Is he ever going to fix that thing?
17:56Luder
17:57Beckett, I'm going inside
17:59In there
18:00Yeah, it's only a shower
18:02Come on, we're going inside
18:04We'll wait for me
18:05Come on
18:07What's wrong?
18:14That one
18:14You go first
18:16Me?
18:23This place gives me the willies
18:25Luder
18:26What was that?
18:28How the hell do I know?
18:29Mother of God
18:32Who is that?
18:33It's scraping
18:34What, who is it?
18:36Maybe it's Pinky Potter
18:37Pinky's dead, you luder
18:39I know
18:40It's coming from there
18:42It's Pinky, it's Pinky
18:44You go
18:45No, you go
18:46It's coming, come on
18:47Ah
18:51Ah
18:53Ah
18:53Ah
18:54Ah
18:55Ah
18:56Ah
18:57Ah
18:58Ah
18:59Mother of God
19:04Ah
19:04Ah
19:05Ah
19:05Ah
19:05Ah
19:15Ah
19:16Ah
19:16Ah
19:17Ah
19:17Ah
19:18Ah
19:19Ah
19:20Ah
19:20Ah
19:21Ah
19:21What in the name of God?
19:26Hey, Dick, give us a hammer to this dresser, will you?
19:29I have a raw potato roll, I just need to hand out with it.
19:31Right, Pat.
19:36And have you done ballet lessons before?
19:39Oh, yes, I have, years ago.
19:41But I was asked to leave after I pulled a groin muscle.
19:43It wasn't mine.
19:45But I always wanted to do the splits.
19:47How flexible are you?
19:49Oh, well, I can't do Tuesdays.
19:52Attention, please.
19:53Madam One, it will be closed by the afternoon due to unforeseen circumstances.
20:01Well, what do you think of the dresser?
20:03She's as sweet as I'm not done.
20:05She's the icing on the cake, boys, huh?
20:07Huh? We have them now!
20:08Oh, good luck tonight, Father.
20:21Thanks.
20:22Luther.
20:23What?
20:24You don't say good luck.
20:25You say break a leg.
20:27Break a leg tonight, Father.
20:28Thanks.
20:30Thanks.
20:30This cottage is mine, and the rent is due, and I take it whatever way I can.
20:43Look away, Mother.
20:48Wait!
20:50I come from the police.
20:52Tis my way of thinking this night.
20:54This man is, uh, interloper.
20:59Interloper.
21:01Interloper.
21:02Interloper.
21:03Imposter.
21:05What does that mean, Father?
21:08It means 15 years hard labour, Widow Murphy.
21:12Constable?
21:14Go on, Dave.
21:15Go on, Dave.
21:17Will you have some soup, Father?
21:19We will, Mrs. Murphy.
21:22We'll have some soup this night.
21:25And we'll not be troubled by evil landlords, I'm thinking, from this day forth.
21:33Now, ladies and gentlemen, bison girls, there'll be a 15-minute interval of about 20 minutes
21:55to half an hour, after which we'll have to sit through the ballet player's production
21:58of chairs.
21:59There's tea free at the back of the hall, but first, uh, tickets for the raffle are
22:04now on sale.
22:08What do you mean, take the set down?
22:10I mean, move your set so we can put out our chairs.
22:13That set's going nowhere.
22:14Chairs.
22:16I'll tell you what you can do.
22:17You can take your chairs and shove them up your...
22:19Hello.
22:20Hello, everybody.
22:21Oh, yeah.
22:22Better than we're just inquiring about the set.
22:23Is that right?
22:24We need an empty stage, Father.
22:26Isn't that what a drama festival is all about?
22:29Co-operation.
22:31Dan, lads, take down the set and give them a hand with the chairs.
22:34Good men.
22:35Well, that's the thing, fellow.
22:37It's not so much a set as a sort of a real cottage.
22:42What do you mean?
22:43It's made out of concrete.
22:44It's cement.
22:45Plaster.
22:46It's not designed to be taken down.
22:49Right.
22:49Someone should buy that man a pint, quick.
23:09cool.
23:12Shh.
23:13Get it done.
23:13Shreve, shreve, shreve.
23:25Oh!
23:37Cut! Cut!
23:44I told you we should have gone to Jackson's.
23:48Finally, that concludes the evening.
23:50And all that's left for me to do is—
23:53What about the set?
23:54What was that? What about the award for best set?
23:57Oh, good heavens, I nearly forgot.
24:00The award for best set. Now, this was an easy decision.
24:04Here we go, mate.
24:06So, I have no hesitation in presenting the best set award
24:11for their magnificent cottage.
24:14Yes! Yes!
24:15To the ballet players for the chairs.
24:18Three chairs for the ballet lads!
24:30Could you rust me up a cup of coffee, please, Jacksy?
24:32No problem, fella.
24:34I thought overall that went very well.
24:36In what way, fella, did it go well?
24:38We scooped four of the five prizes. Bally got one. Isn't that neighbourly?
24:42I suppose it is. What are you on about?
24:44So, wasn't it all your fault? How is it my fault?
24:47Didn't you wish him well instead of saying break a leg?
24:50Luder!
24:51Could have been an awful lot worse.
24:53He could have said the other thing.
24:54What other thing?
24:55The Scottish thing.
24:56What Scottish thing?
24:58Like Beth, is it?
25:00Hey!
25:01Hey!
25:02Luder!
25:03Luder!
25:04Luder!
25:05Luder!
25:06Luder!
25:07When Mike
25:24rummy
25:25rummy
25:29rummy
25:29rummy
25:34You