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00:00Thank you for letting us be ourselves, so don't mind me if I repeat myself, these simple lines be good for your health, keep them crime rhymes their shelf, live love life like you just don't care, life that I believe is never scared,
00:18rain and noise is the moment they fear, give up to the beautiful idea, give up, throw your hands in the air, give up, you should be ready, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up, give up
00:48Tonight on the show we tackle the government's latest cuts, watch Putin's sidestep a ceasefire and try to identify the mystery guest.
00:58Plus we'll be joined on the bench by comedian Maisie Adam and artist Grayson Perry on the show that sometimes has a ball with the news.
01:18G'day. Hello. Hi everyone. You too. You too. Wow.
01:27G'day I'm Adam Hills. Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that's always been filmed in one continuous take.
01:33With me are the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittakam, and the man who thought the JFK files were a prequel to the X-Files, Alex Brooker.
01:42Now before we get into the news, we have to tell you, it has been quite the dramatic week in Josh's house.
01:52Oh, big week, big week. Go on. It was my wife's birthday and um, thank you.
01:58And um, she's in. And um, we've got, I bought some helium balloons for it, the four and the two, and we've got the four stuck in the ceiling.
02:11And it's been up there for ten days because it's too tall for both of us.
02:16Do you want proof? Yep. There it is, it's up on Instagram.
02:22Does anyone know how to deal with this? We've got a helium balloon stuck in the ceiling.
02:32I've been told to shoot it down with a water pistol. Are you fucking kidding? How would that work? That doesn't make any sense.
02:40Well, I knew you were in trouble because you asked me if I could help.
02:46Do you want some suggestions that we got? Well the thing is you've got to be really careful with helium balloons in the house because the helium can leak.
02:51And the giveaway is if you end up with a really high pitched squeaky nasally voice.
02:59Have you noticed any symptoms? That's why it's an emergency. Oh yeah, right, I can hear it.
03:05Someone suggested hoover nozzle. Someone suggested call the fire brigade.
03:12Someone said get someone of an adult height to help.
03:16We went with to basically fill myself with helium and I'd float up and get it.
03:32No, so I got the water pistol. I went and bought a water pistol.
03:36Exciting to see whether it works because the idea is the water will weight the balloon and the balloon will fall from the sky.
03:42Do you want to see science in action? Yes, please.
03:47It's day 11 of having a balloon stuck up there.
03:51And under advice I'm going to shoot it down with a water pistol which I do not believe will work because why would it work?
03:58But let's document it.
04:13It's not worked.
04:19And the beam's all wet.
04:33You've got quite a small water pistol, haven't you?
04:37I would have thought you'd have gone super soak.
04:40Well, I'm not going to go super soak over that situation. I wasn't going to war, I was just getting a balloon down.
04:45Throw a dart at it. I'm not going to throw a dart.
04:48Well, you just squirted water at a light fitting.
04:53It's not that unsafe.
04:55I've got a feeling that balloon's just going to stay up there and you're just going to get grumpier and grumpier
04:59and eventually you're going to turn into the guy from Up.
05:07Let's see them side by side.
05:20Alright, we are live on your telly right now so you can send us any questions you want to ask us about the news.
05:24Message us on Instagram, the hashtags isitok.
05:27WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908 or you can just scan the QR code on your screen.
05:33Look, we are going to get into the big news in a second but we wanted to start with something cheery tonight.
05:37This week, four astronauts returned to Earth from the International Space Station,
05:41two of whom had been stranded there for nine months.
05:45I mean, you'd run out of conversation.
05:49I mean, me and him sit next to each other for one hour a week and we don't talk in the breaks.
05:55Nine months, they were relieved, they got back to Earth, they said,
05:58Finally I can relax and watch Inside the Factory with Greg Wallace.
06:04What?
06:07No! He can't have!
06:10Oh, do you know what? Fine, I'll just fall back on YouTube clips of Gino De Campo's best bits on this morning.
06:17No, not him as well!
06:19Upon landing in the Gulf of Mexico, because that's what it's called,
06:22the capsule was surrounded by a pod of dolphins.
06:25Here's a cute clip.
06:28Now, here on your screen we can see dolphins, actually,
06:32who want to come and play with Dragon,
06:36is what will be used to lift the Dragon capsule out of the water and onto the recovery vessel.
06:42Wow, we got a cute little pod of dolphins, it wasn't just one or two.
06:47So they've been to space and then swam with dolphins.
06:52They've got my bucket list!
06:55I just hope that they've landed and they thought it's a planet of the apes.
07:02The astronauts were rescued by a SpaceX rocket after a malfunction that included thruster issues
07:07and, get this, a series of helium leaks.
07:10The thing is...
07:12Chance would be a fine thing.
07:14If they wanted to get them down,
07:16I don't know why somebody didn't just try and squirt a water pistol at them.
07:20Well, it did give me...
07:28We were talking, we were watching that during the week
07:30and it gave me an idea for Josh's helium balloon,
07:32because the SpaceX rocket went up and docked with it
07:34and then brought the people back down,
07:36and I was thinking, I actually suggested to Josh,
07:38Josh, why don't you put some double-sided tape onto another helium balloon
07:42on a string, float that up and then join them and bring them back down?
07:46Ah, right?
07:47Yeah.
07:50Oh, thank you.
07:52And because we work in the exciting world of television...
07:55Yep.
07:56..I did do that. Mm-hm.
07:58Shall we see how it went? Yes, please.
08:00This is the genuine science in action again.
08:05OK, next plan, genuinely,
08:08I've attached double-sided tape
08:11to the top of another helium balloon that I've ordered
08:15and I'm going to send that up there...
08:19..to get it. OK, ready?
08:25OK, so the tape's dragged the balloon down,
08:27let's step it to the floor.
08:34It's now stuck to the floor.
08:36We are going to keep showing Josh's attempts
08:38over the rest of the show tonight.
08:40In a segment I'm calling Balloon, Balloon, Balloon,
08:42Let Me Hear You Say Wayo.
08:44LAUGHTER
08:47All right, let's get into the news now.
08:49And, look, the big story this week is...
08:51..that the big story isn't about Donald Trump!
08:54CHEERING
09:01Alexander Elio said,
09:02is it OK to be extremely angry at the government
09:04due to the cuts for disabled people?
09:06Ah.
09:08Yes, this week, the Work and Pension Secretary, Liz Kendall,
09:10announced some pretty big changes to the welfare system
09:12and Alexander wasn't the only person angry about it.
09:14Here's a selection of the is-it-OKs you sent us.
09:21Honestly, we haven't had that many is-it-OKs
09:23since I said fruit pastilles.
09:25LAUGHTER
09:28You've got to think about that.
09:30Get over it!
09:32It was a week ago!
09:34Now, the positive welfare changes include
09:36no more reassessments for people with permanent disabilities
09:38and a rise in universal credit.
09:40The negative, however, is that eligibility
09:42for personal independence payments will be narrowed
09:44and will probably affect around a million people.
09:47Liz Kendall said the benefits system was, quote,
09:49failing the very people it's supposed to help
09:51and that spending on working age, sickness and disability benefits
09:54has gone up £20 billion since the pandemic.
09:57Whereas disability rights charity Scope said
09:59the cuts should shame the government to its core.
10:02And if you're wondering where the Tories sit on all this,
10:04they said the cuts don't go far enough.
10:07That's right, the Tories are now on the same side as Labour.
10:11How is it... I know, how is it possible that Kanye West
10:14released a single with P. Diddy this week
10:16and that's not the worst collaboration of the last seven days?
10:19LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
10:27Is any of this OK?
10:29I think it's probably one for you, is it, Alex?
10:31Well, no, you always say we should lose our benefits.
10:33I do.
10:35Well, do you know what, we've talked about this a lot
10:37over the last 12 years, it keeps happening
10:39and I'm starting to think it's you two.
10:42I think it just gets earlier and earlier every year, doesn't it,
10:45screwing over disabled people?
10:47I think that the sad thing is we've been doing this show...
10:51That's not sad that we've been doing this show for 13 years.
10:54But over the course of this show,
10:57how many times we've had to talk about this.
10:59Different governments, different prime ministers,
11:02always the same, they go to try and cut disability benefits.
11:06And at what point have we ever turned around and gone,
11:10I'll tell you what, the cuts were harsh,
11:12but aren't disabled people flourishing?
11:14Yeah.
11:15Never once.
11:16All that happens is it just gets harder and harder
11:19for the most vulnerable people to get where they want in society
11:23and it's wrong, it's wrong.
11:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:27It just...
11:33It just... They get worse.
11:36It's like the Jurassic Park films.
11:38You know?
11:40And the worst thing is now if you get called a clever girl,
11:43you'll lose some benefits.
11:45And they keep asking, could we make the cuts instead of should we?
11:51The Personal Independence Payments, or PIP,
11:54will now be determined on a points system
11:56depending on what you can and can't do.
11:58For example, you get two points if you need help to wash your hair
12:01or you're unable to wash yourself below the waist.
12:03You get four points if you need help to wash yourself
12:06between your shoulders and your waist.
12:08So, what, they're basically assessing it on the song
12:12Hair, Shoulders, Knees and Toes?
12:14I can't wash my hair, shoulders, not my toes, not my toes.
12:18That's two points, actually, you get two.
12:20Yeah, and you get eight points for if you can't wash your eyes and ears...
12:24LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
12:28Right.
12:33How are they going to measure how much people wash?
12:37Are they going to have to, like, film and then get the lines out,
12:40like VAR? Yeah, maybe.
12:42I reckon it'll probably end up looking like this.
12:47So, here we go, there's a person washing.
12:49Yep, you can see here, oh, the arm is moving down.
12:52Oh, the arm has moved.
12:54LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
12:57It's just...
12:59It's absolutely amazing.
13:01Certainly, yeah, the arm has moved down past the last testicle
13:05and denied a clear bum washing opportunity, so no bit.
13:08By the way, one of the other tests is to see if you can get
13:11a helium balloon down from the ceiling.
13:13And look...
13:15I'm glad that I'm the only one eligible now.
13:17Whenever benefits cuts are talked about,
13:19it creates a stigma around disabled people
13:21because it makes you feel like you're scrounging off the system
13:24and it makes other people act as if you're scrounging off the system.
13:27Do you know what the fraud rate is for PIP?
13:29According to the DWP's own figures, this is the fraud rate,
13:32the percentage of fraud of PIP.
13:34Have a look.
13:36Here we go.
13:38I mean, it's always going to be low.
13:40Yes, probably. Really?
13:440.4% of PIP is overpaid.
13:47By the way, thank you to the people from Pointless
13:49for letting us use that graphic.
13:51That's our new disability game show, Jointless.
14:02Hosted by Alexander Armnotsostrong.
14:06They let us use their graphic, they didn't let us use their music.
14:09I've never heard that before.
14:11And look, we get it, times are tough,
14:13but it's like the government have said,
14:15should we go after Scrooge or Tiny Tim?
14:17I mean, Scrooge does have a lot of money,
14:19but Tiny Tim can wash below the waist.
14:21Diane Abbott suggested this week an alternative to the cuts
14:24by saying that if the government imposed a wealth tax
14:26on people with assets over £10 billion,
14:28it would raise £24 billion a year,
14:31which means there was more opposition to the cuts from within Labor
14:34than from the actual opposition.
14:36And, by the way, Liz Kendall also suggested
14:38young people could be forced to join the army
14:40in order to cut youth unemployment.
14:42But that might just create more disabled people.
14:47I thought what, uh, need a bigger army
14:49was actually one of the things on my doctor's notes.
14:59All this comes in a week in which a report found
15:01that disabled people's access to transport
15:03is, quote, a national embarrassment.
15:05But as a disabled voter, where do you go?
15:07And clearly nowhere if the trains are anything to go by.
15:10Labor have made their case clear,
15:11the Tories said they didn't go far enough,
15:13and while we don't know what reform think,
15:15what they say is they refer to people in wheelchairs
15:17as wokey-spokeys.
15:23What is the answer?
15:25Well, look, the way I see it is,
15:27Labor got into government,
15:28they won the election with 9.7 million votes.
15:32Yep.
15:33There are 16 million disabled people in this country.
15:38So, I think we need to start our own party.
15:41I think we need... Yeah.
15:44I think we need to put ourselves at the front,
15:46put disabled people at the front,
15:48put ourselves in the blue badge by our politics.
15:50Mm-hm.
15:51And I'll be honest with you,
15:52we've said it so many times on this show
15:54that there ain't no party like a disability party.
15:58Hit the music!
16:01Ain't no party like a disability party
16:09Little hands in the air
16:11Like you just don't care
16:14There's a party on the air
16:16There's a party on the air
16:22What?
16:23What's that?
16:24It says...
16:25Thank you very much.
16:27What do you mean?
16:28It says...
16:29It says, I love...
16:31I love DP.
16:32What's the matter with that?
16:33It says, I love DP.
16:34I love the disability party.
16:35Yeah, OK.
16:36Stop trying to handsplain to me.
16:38I've had enough, ladies and gentlemen.
16:40Why do non-disabled people get to assess
16:42how capable we are at washing?
16:44Sod that.
16:45With the DP, we've got your back
16:47and we'll wash it too.
16:48Under our government,
16:50each disabled person gets their own
16:52non-disabled carer to wash them.
16:54I've got this guy.
16:56And screw the PIP assessment.
16:58With the DP, you'll only be assessed
17:00on how much of a legend you are.
17:02When we're in power, we'll abolish steps
17:04because they're a ball ache for everyone.
17:06And I cannot say strong enough, by the way,
17:08how much I don't mean the band.
17:10So how are we going to pay for all this,
17:12I hear you asking?
17:13In a disability party, we may have short arms,
17:16but we've also got short pockets.
17:18Don't worry, Prime Minister Brooker
17:20is going to give everyone a little handout.
17:22Because we've come up with a radical idea
17:24of actually taxing energy companies
17:26and multi-billionaires.
17:28How about that?
17:30Yes, we love the disabled here.
17:33We love the DP.
17:35I love the DP.
17:36You love the DP.
17:38Josh loves the DP.
17:39Adam loves the DP.
17:41We know Mark the Cameraman loves the DP.
17:43So come and join the disability party
17:45and we'll make it all about the DP.
18:03All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
18:05He's an artist who likes dressing up.
18:06She's a comedian who likes keepy-ups.
18:08Please welcome Sir Grayson Perry and Maisie Adams.
18:22Welcome to you both.
18:23Welcome, welcome, welcome.
18:33I mean, the big question, do you love the DP?
18:35Oh, we are both big fans of the DP.
18:37Oh, I love it, deeply.
18:38We were just chatting backstage about how much we love the DP.
18:41You're right.
18:42We've gone through its popular belief.
18:44Big fan of the DP, I am.
18:46My mother was a big fan of the DP.
18:48Her mother, big fan of the DP.
18:50I think Alice could put the DP back into BDSM.
19:00And we're in.
19:03All right, so what do you make of the current government?
19:05I mean, you're a big Labor supporter, Grayson.
19:07I'm sorry?
19:08You're a supporter of the Labor Party.
19:10Yes.
19:11How do you feel about them at the moment?
19:12Well, you know, political parties do sometimes act in ways
19:16that, you know, don't fit the cliche, don't they?
19:18Mm-hm.
19:19Like the Tory party, for instance,
19:20you know, they're the party of diversity, aren't they?
19:22They've had four female leaders and two people of colour.
19:24Yes.
19:25Labor, nil.
19:26Yeah.
19:27So there you go.
19:28So, you know, sometimes they...
19:29We're in a fluid situation these days, aren't we?
19:32Because people are going where the votes are.
19:34Yeah, right.
19:35They've all got their algorithms going like mad.
19:37Yeah.
19:38And so people are behaving out of...
19:40You know, some parties often are doing things that are clearly
19:44the policies of their opposition.
19:46It seems that way.
19:47Maisie, what do you think?
19:48Yeah, it just starts to feel a bit like you're on The Traitors,
19:51just when you think you've weeded out the bad ones.
19:54LAUGHTER
19:56Another one un-votes himself.
19:58LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
20:00It's not safe!
20:04Lyricist Sir Tim Rice this week said that a Donald Trump musical
20:08would bring in the crowds,
20:09but a musical about Keir Starmer would never work.
20:12Well, can you imagine him singing?
20:14LAUGHTER
20:15I don't know.
20:16It'd be awful.
20:17It'd be...
20:18Let's face it.
20:19Sorry.
20:20LAUGHTER
20:23I didn't realise we'd booked Rory Bramner.
20:25LAUGHTER
20:28Sorry, Maisie, carry on with the song.
20:30My Keir Starmer impression is the same as my Josh impression.
20:32LAUGHTER
20:34By the way, you had a great suggestion for what Josh should do
20:37with the balloon thing.
20:39Oh, yeah, pin on a stick, mate. Pin on a stick.
20:41Pin on a stick.
20:42Come on.
20:43We'll see whether that's resolved.
20:44I actually thought Grayson said prick on a stick,
20:46and I thought, of all the shows you could say that, this ain't no one.
20:49LAUGHTER
20:52APPLAUSE
20:59We beg to differ, though, with Sir Tim Rice.
21:02Yeah.
21:03We actually think that a song from a musical about the Labour Party
21:07could actually work,
21:08especially after everything that's gone on this week.
21:10So, at the end of tonight's show, we're going to premiere a song
21:13that we've written from a musical about the Labour Party.
21:16The working title at the moment is Surprisingly Wicked.
21:18LAUGHTER
21:19But you've got a musical coming out as well, Grayson, have you not?
21:22Yeah, next year, yeah, about me.
21:24Yeah, it's not my idea.
21:25The composer contacted me and said,
21:27I think your life story would make a good musical.
21:30And is it a well-known composer?
21:32He wrote Jerry Spring Of The Opera, Richard Thomas.
21:35Oh, wow! Yeah.
21:36And it's really funny. Yeah.
21:38It's gone for laughs, so we've fictionalised it quite a lot.
21:41It's got some banging tunes.
21:42A few tears. A few tears.
21:44Because Richard told me,
21:45you're only allowed one ballad for every four upbeat numbers.
21:49Is that right? Yeah, it's one of the rules.
21:51Yeah, there's a lot of kind of... You get the formula right.
21:54But, yeah, I think it's a popular...
21:56Yeah, so it's going to open in London next year.
21:58One ballad for every four, like, jazzy numbers.
22:00The upbeat ones, yeah, yeah, fun ones.
22:02No, that makes sense.
22:03You don't want sort of misery, endless misery.
22:05No-one's going to see Coldplay, the musical, are they?
22:07LAUGHTER
22:08I'll tell you what, though, Westlife had it right.
22:11Ballad after ballad, banger after banger.
22:13And, look, to wrap up what we've been talking about so far,
22:16it's been a tough week for people with disabilities.
22:18But we want to end this bit of the show on a lighter note.
22:20Today is World Down Syndrome Day.
22:22An incredible video has been released to remind people
22:24how important it is to include people with disabilities
22:27in decisions that are made about them.
22:29We're going to play it for you right now.
22:30Liz Kendall, if you're watching, this is all we're asking.
22:34I want to be one that decisions are made
22:38What should Sophia wear for your brother's wedding?
22:41I think this dress could be really nice
22:43Or maybe this one, a little less formal
22:46It pairs well with her beautiful smile
22:49I want to be one that decisions are made
22:51Where this decision is made
22:54I want to have a say in the dress that I wear
22:57Don't shoot, even if it's fair
22:59Let me have a look at these clothes
23:02You want the truth, I don't like any of those
23:06Here's the new place for all supplies
23:08You might not realise that for me it's too high
23:11When you hear this, you've got to dash
23:15Our info points now have touchscreens
23:18It's great for those who are able to see
23:21During my term, we'll write new laws
23:24While we prepare to soar
23:26So give us a seat, too!
23:29We want to be one that decisions are made
23:32We're one that decisions are made
23:35Signs of us should be reveled and clear
23:38We're one that decisions are made
23:41This is what I'll wear
24:12Welcome back to Last Seed
24:14I'm joined by Maisie Adam and Grayson Perry
24:17Mark suggested Josh should spray deodorant
24:20On his helium balloon
24:22Because the chemicals will react with the helium
24:24And it will bring it down
24:25I don't know how you're going to do that
24:26How am I going to reach it to spray the deodorant?
24:28You should spray it and also put a lighter in front of that
24:33Maisie, before we get back into the news
24:35I want to talk to you about your social media
24:37In particular, a post you made when Josh was awarded
24:39A honorary degree by the University of Exeter last year
24:44I got a BA in Chimeraquai
24:48Can I just say the relief that kicked in?
24:50Because nobody ever wants to hear a sentence that starts with
24:53First, Maisie, I want to talk about your social media
24:56You're like, oh God, she's waiting to get me on live TV
24:59To bring up what did she tweet in 2009
25:03You posted pictures of people that Josh reminded you of
25:06Striking comparisons including Harry Potter
25:12Anyone from Downton Abbey
25:16And this little guy
25:27That's someone who could get a helium balloon down his ceiling
25:30On to international news now
25:32Joe said, is it okay that Putin might face crucial consequences
25:35If he breaches the ceasefire with Ukraine
25:37Those were Keir Starmer's words yesterday
25:40As he set down a stern challenge to the Russian leader
25:43Today, a massive fire shut down Heathrow for two days
25:48Now at this stage, no one knows if they're connected
25:50And although we're not Russian to any conclusions
25:54We are Putin 2 and 2 together
25:57Come in the back of the net
26:03Hang on, what's that?
26:05I'm sorry, we must go on to the next story
26:09As you can imagine, the internet was full of conspiracy theories
26:12Including this amusing tweet of the men accused of the Salisbury poisoning
26:16With the caption, we have always wanted to visit Hays
26:19It is known the world over
26:20Yes, it has the famous electricity substation
26:23And unrivaled views of the beautiful Heathrow airport
26:28Meanwhile, Donald Trump seems to be negotiating
26:30The shittest peace deal in history at the moment
26:33As Vladimir Putin followed up Ukraine's agreement
26:36To a 30 day ceasefire by agreeing to do the barest amount possible
26:40He agreed to stop bombing Ukraine's energy infrastructure
26:44Which sounds good, until you realise he's already destroyed most of it
26:47Donald Trump's trying to spin all this as a win
26:49But the truth is, he has achieved absolutely nothing when it comes to Russia
26:53They're still saying Ukraine shouldn't be allowed into NATO
26:56They're still saying they don't want foreign troops as peacekeepers
26:58And they're still saying they want the land they took to be officially recognised as Russia
27:02And they're still bombing Ukraine
27:04I'm starting to think Donald Trump might not be that good at making a deal after all
27:09I'm... Do you know what I mean?
27:16At this stage, I'm not even sure he could negotiate a decent Tesco meal deal
27:20Yeah, I heard that he's so bad at negotiating
27:24That actually when his Sky contract was up, he didn't even threaten to leave
27:30Start with that
27:33Trump reportedly spent 90 minutes on the phone to Putin this week
27:3690 minutes
27:38The thing with Vladimir Putin is, if you're caught...
27:41What do you reckon his voicemail...
27:43When it goes to voicemail, what sort of message...
27:46I've been thinking about this all week
27:48Because he's Vladimir Putin
27:50It's got to be something sinister
27:52Like, all right, you've reached Vlad, sorry I can't come to the phone right now
27:55I just found a distant out of a window
27:57Please leave a message after the flatline
28:01I mean, are you watching?
28:03It's just... It's so infuriating
28:06To watch what we all knew was going to happen
28:10Happen
28:11Like, everybody has said, Putin is impossible to reason with
28:16He's a total narcissistic prick
28:19And then we put a narcissistic prick in the White House
28:23And he was like, leave it with me
28:25And we were like, I really just don't think you're the best person
28:27And he's like, no, no, no, trust me, trust me
28:29It's because I haven't done it yet
28:31And then he's done it, and hey presto, fuck all's happened
28:35He's an idiot
28:37Correct
28:38But like, we have to...
28:40We have to wait
28:42Like, we have to wait and watch it happen
28:44Rather than be listened to
28:46And genuinely try and find a new approach
28:51To what is one of the worst sort of humanitarian crises to happen
28:55Certainly in my lifetime
28:57And it's happening every single day
28:59And we're having to wait and nurture this bloke's ego
29:02Because he hasn't had a phone call with Putin yet
29:04And he might be able to do it
29:05Because him and Putin are friends
29:07Putin isn't friends with anyone
29:09He's like an awful bond villain
29:13And yet, during the phone call
29:15They discussed a possible ice hockey match
29:17Between Russia and America
29:18Oh, thank God, that was my next question
29:23We've got priorities
29:24Yeah, honestly, can you imagine Zelensky going, sorry, you talked about what?
29:27Yeah
29:28You discussed an ice hockey match
29:29You had 90 minutes and you got on to ice hockey
29:33No small talk there, haven't you?
29:35And you would always start with ice hockey
29:38Shall we have an ice hockey match?
29:39And I suppose we should talk about the war as well
29:41Yeah, what did I come in for?
29:45I do wonder, sorry
29:46I do wonder, these people who have this power
29:49Whether for them, talking about wars
29:52Is the same as talking about an ice hockey match
29:54Because that's their day-to-day, kind of like, their hobby
29:57Yeah
29:58I think I'll start a war this week, you know
30:00Because I'd be a bit bored
30:01Yeah
30:02Because, you know, White Lotus, I've watched that, I've binge-watched that
30:04I think I'll start a war
30:07Grace and Dote, you're scaring me
30:09Well, I think because that's the level they operate at, isn't it?
30:12And also, Putin's really excited by this idea
30:14Because he loves ice hockey
30:16So the idea of a USA-Russia ice hockey match
30:19Putin, by the way, famously scored eight goals
30:22When he played in an exhibition match in 2019
30:25His glory was slightly undercut afterwards
30:27When he fell over on a red carpet while taking a victory lap
30:30I mean, you don't want to see that, do you?
30:32Yeah
30:34But we've shown it before, why would you want to see...
30:36Show it again!
30:38Yeah, here's the calamitous clip
30:43Watch him, watch him, watch him
30:45Here comes the carpet
30:46Yeah!
30:50Yeah, that showed him
30:52Yeah
30:53Maybe we should send a red carpet to Russia
30:55Then they'll know
30:58Also, like, the fact that he wasn't humbled by that
31:01I cannot begin to...
31:02If that happened to me, you'd never see me again
31:05You'd never see me again
31:08Oh, by the way, if you're wondering why Ukraine
31:10Have insisted on a peacekeeping force after a ceasefire with Russia
31:13Israeli forces resumed their attacks on Gaza this week
31:16Killing over 400 people, many of them women and children
31:19Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu blamed Hamas
31:22For not releasing hostages
31:23While seemingly dressed as Donald Trump
31:27Look, for what it's worth, we've got absolutely nothing funny to say
31:30About what's happening in Gaza at the moment, nor should we
31:32It's horrific, it's not getting any better
31:34But we can't just ignore it, it's going on
31:36Women and children are dying and hostages are still being held
31:39Look, there are places you can visit online to donate or show your support
31:42At the moment, it feels like that's the best thing that we can do
31:45So, let's try to focus on something lighter at the end of all this
31:49Here's a question that keeps me awake at 3 o'clock in the morning
31:52Have you ever noticed that Trump and Putin pretty much have the same amount of hair?
31:56Like, the only difference is, honestly, the only difference is
31:59That Trump has grown his out and tried to comb it over
32:02Whereas Putin has just embraced his baldness
32:04Which made me then wonder, honestly, this is what I think about in the middle of the night
32:07What would they look like if they had each other's hairstyles?
32:12So, this is what I think Trump would look like
32:14If he didn't grow his hair out and do all that stuff
32:16This is Putin's hair on Trump
32:19I think it's quite kind of...
32:21I don't hate it
32:24Is it John McCain?
32:26Yeah, it does look a bit like John McCain
32:28His neck don't half look like a pair of bollocks though, don't it?
32:32What, where?
32:33His neck
32:34Alex, you need to go see a doctor now
32:44Let's see Trump's hair
32:45Alex, you're going to be able to get back on the pip assessment
32:49This is Trump's hair on Putin
32:54Oh, can we see that...
32:57I've seen him on Eurovision
32:59I think we need to see that alongside Maisie
33:02Don't you dare
33:13Josh, it did give Josh an idea for a game, though
33:16Yeah, well, Hilsey showed me these
33:17And I thought, well, it's quite fun trying to recognise world leaders from their hair
33:22So let's play a quick game to finish the part of Who's That Hair?
33:38Who did that graphic? Who?
33:41If you didn't like that, you're not going to enjoy the game
33:46So I've had to use a default head, right?
33:48And obviously, Maisie, you've got a head that's had different haircuts on since I've known you
33:52So I've put four different haircuts on your head
33:54You bastard
33:55This was not in the briefs
33:56And you two can play together
33:58You've just got to name me which four world leaders, over time, these are
34:02You ready for the first hair?
34:03You've put world leaders' hair on me?
34:05Yeah
34:07Fuck!
34:10That's Kim Jong-In, or whatever his name is
34:13North Korea guy, is it?
34:15Grayson's playing it very seriously, Robert
34:19I'm also thinking, didn't she ever hit single?
34:27That is Kim Jong-In
34:28I'm going to give you the points
34:29Kim Jong-In
34:30You ready for the second one?
34:31I hate it
34:34Put it away! Put it away!
34:36That's what you would look like if the Berlin Wall came down
34:41Send it back to the fields of wheat
34:43Theresa May?
34:44It's Theresa May
34:45Oh, I thought it was Merkel
34:46Number three
34:50What a dear, it's Mr Keir
34:52It is!
34:55For the win! For the win!
34:59Gorby! Gorby!
35:02It's Gorby, yeah
35:03It is! It's Gorbachev! Grayson wins!
35:06You've won that
35:07That's what you've won
35:10You've won the Kim Jong-Un wig
35:21We'll have more live sleep for you after the break
35:23We'll find out who shot JFK
35:25Amylon Veil, Van Veil, this week's mystery guest
35:27We'll see you in a little bit
35:40Welcome back to The Last Leg
35:42We're joined by Maisie Adam and Grayson Perry
35:44Grayson, you've got a new exhibition
35:46At the Wallace Collection
35:48Yes, is it on at the moment?
35:50No, it starts on the 28th
35:52Yes
35:53And I'm working with the collection
35:55How do you feel about having a collection?
35:57Can you go to it?
35:58Can you see people's reactions?
36:00Well, I'm too well-known now
36:02I can't sneak up behind people and hear them talking
36:05Really?
36:06But now I'm too well-known so that people, you know, they go
36:08So, like...
36:09But, yeah, I'm really pleased
36:10I've been working on it for three years, you know
36:12Because people often think, you know, because I dress up and that
36:14They sort of say, oh, are you a serious artist?
36:16And I go, you know, I've put a lot of bloody effort into this
36:19Yeah, yeah, right
36:20And I've been concentrating
36:22And it's been an amazing thing
36:23I'm really pleased with the show
36:25And I did have to invent an artist
36:27And I did have to invent an artist
36:29And I did have to invent an artist
36:31And I did have to invent an artist
36:33And I did have to invent an artist to like it
36:36Because I was walking around this collection
36:38And I was thinking, you know, it doesn't...
36:40I don't love it
36:42And so I invented an artist who did love it
36:45And then I made her work
36:47Oh!
36:49I don't understand
36:51But I really want to see it
36:52Don't worry, dear
36:53It's what they call high culture
36:54Oh, OK
36:55Listen
36:56Listen, I'm not saying I'm not down with the times
36:59But someone had to explain to me what DP was earlier
37:03LAUGHTER
37:05Let's move on to...
37:06You bollocks, you said you Googled it
37:08LAUGHTER
37:09That is not high culture
37:11In Weird Sporting News this week
37:13A Bulgarian football club had to apologise
37:15After holding a minute's silence
37:16For a former player who was still alive
37:18Oh!
37:19The player Petko Ganchev said, and I quote
37:22When I heard the terrible news
37:23I poured myself a small brandy
37:26How shit must he have been in his last game
37:29If they thought he was dead?
37:31His heat map is just blue
37:34I made the same mistake with John Darwin the canoe man
37:37LAUGHTER
37:40Fucking livid when he showed up
37:41Waste of a minute of my life that was, wasn't it?
37:44In other news this week
37:45The JFK files were released
37:47With over 80,000 pages made available to the public
37:49The artist, formerly known as a comedian, Russell Brand
37:52Posted...
37:54Then deleted a fake document
37:56That he thought was from the files
37:58That suggested JFK was actually shot
38:00By British actress Penelope Keith
38:02LAUGHTER
38:04There's so many layers in that
38:06I know
38:07I love the fact that somebody who's a conspiracy theorist
38:09Got caught out by a conspiracy theorist
38:11With someone who was one of my transvestite idols growing up
38:15LAUGHTER
38:16I think it says a lot about Russell Brand's reputation
38:18That when I saw his name trend with Penelope Keith
38:21I feared the worst
38:22LAUGHTER
38:23I mean, honestly, I was like, oh, thank God
38:25He only accidentally suggested she shot JFK
38:28It won't surprise you to know people are now saying
38:30Penelope Keith was spotted near Heathrow Airport last night
38:32LAUGHTER
38:34All right, it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest
38:36It's someone from the news
38:37Our guests have to try to identify them
38:39Can we have this week's mystery guest, please?
38:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:51Hey, Mel
38:52Hey, Nick
38:53Er, Alex Ross
38:54What were you saying, Maisie?
38:55Is Harry Potter doing a revival?
38:57Is it him?
38:58Wow
38:59Is it him?
39:00Is it...?
39:01What?
39:02Have we just brought out Rupert Grint?
39:04If it was Rupert...
39:05If it was Rupert Grint, do you really think
39:07We would have waited until now to bring him in?
39:09LAUGHTER
39:10This guy's going to be big
39:12Imagine bringing out Rupert Grint and going
39:15We're going to play a game here
39:17Can you guess if this is Rupert Grint?
39:19LAUGHTER
39:21This is Lewis
39:22Why has he been in the news?
39:23Let's have the dramatic lighting change
39:25While Alex gives you three options
39:27OK
39:29So, Lewis had to quit his job as a League Two referee
39:32As the jibe about him looking like Ron Weasley
39:35Became too much
39:36LAUGHTER
39:37He's considering retirement as a Ron Weasley lookalike
39:40As he feels at 34 he can no longer sell being 14
39:44Ah
39:45Or our final option
39:46He's had his OnlyFans account, Ron Weasley
39:48Closed down by Warner Brothers
39:50As they say what he's doing with his wand
39:52Is not right for the brand
39:54LAUGHTER
39:56I want it to be the last one
39:58As they are after the war
40:00It makes sense now that they're all Ron Weasley related
40:02Yeah
40:03Discuss it during the break
40:04We'll reveal the mystery guest's identity after the break
40:07Josh will play as his final attempt
40:09To rescue the helium balloon in his kitchen
40:11In a segment I'm calling
40:12I'm Balloon Dubba Dee Dubba Die
40:14And we'll end the show with a preview of a musical
40:16About the Labour Party
40:17Oh my God, all of that still to come
40:19We'll see you in a little bit
40:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:35Welcome back to Last Leg
40:36We're joined by Maisie Adam and Grayson Perry
40:38Now before the break we challenged our guests
40:40To work out how this person was connected to the news
40:42Can we have the options again, please?
40:45Alex, give me the options, please
40:47Lewis had to quit his job as a League 2 referee
40:49Because jibes about him looking like Ron Weasley
40:51Became too much
40:53He's considering retiring as a Ron Weasley lookalike
40:55Because at the age of 34
40:57He doesn't think he can settle being 14 anymore
40:59And a final option
41:01He had his OnlyFans account Ron Weasley
41:03Closed down by Warner Brothers
41:05As they don't like what he's doing with the wand on it
41:07Now, I want it to be the last one
41:09Yeah
41:10But reality is always boring
41:12So I think it's the first one
41:14Yeah, I think you could carry on
41:16Being a Ron Weasley lookalike
41:18I think you should keep up the refereeing
41:20Not listen to the naysayers
41:22Go for it, mate
41:23Is that your final answer, number one?
41:25Number one
41:26OK, can you please reveal what is the correct answer?
41:29Yeah, so I was considering
41:34I was considering retiring as a Ron Weasley lookalike
41:36No, no
41:38Yeah, it was number two
41:40Why?
41:41But Rupert Grint's not dead
41:44He may have a second career
41:47Yeah, he might do
41:49I don't know, I just felt like I was just too old
41:51You know, the receding hairline
41:53And the crow's feet, you know
41:55Well, there's more to life than Rupert Grint is
41:57Yeah, he's got the same issues going on, I'm sure
41:59So do you shave the beard for the Ron Weasley?
42:03Yeah, yeah, I do, yeah, shave the beard
42:05I can see a one-man show at Edinburgh
42:07The Aging Rupert Grint
42:09But what's interesting is that you were considering
42:18and then you've had a bit of a resurgence
42:20after posting this clip on social media
42:32Expensive petroleum!
42:40So good!
42:42I don't get it, I don't get it
42:44I don't know why I'm clapping
42:46I don't get it either
42:48Round of applause for Lewis!
42:50Thank you, Lewis!
42:52Give it up for Lewis, thank you
42:54Lovely to have you
42:56Now, throughout the show we've been playing out
42:58Josh's attempts to get a helium balloon down from the ceiling
43:01So many people have suggested things
43:03Someone who works at a bar said
43:05if you spray warm water at it
43:07that's what they use in the bar to get them down
43:09I was devastated earlier
43:11when my suggestion of putting double-sided tape
43:13onto another helium balloon didn't work
43:15Wow!
43:17I changed it
43:19I just put less double-sided tape on the helium balloon
43:22Because obviously it had weighed it down
43:24I'd put too much on
43:26Do you want to see that play out?
43:27Oh, please make me happy
43:31OK, we're back trying to save this balloon
43:34Attempt 4, less sticky tape
43:37It's going
43:39OK, here we go
43:41This is huge
43:47Fucking hell
43:52I was really, oh my god
44:01Here we go, here we go, here we go
44:05It's got it, it's got it
44:09Fucking gets in
44:21He's the Elon Musk of conservatories
44:26In so many ways
44:28We are about to end the show with a preview
44:30of our song that we've written
44:32from a musical about the Labor Party
44:34but before we do, would you please thank our guests
44:36Maisie Adams
44:39and Grayson Perry
44:43and my co-hosts Josh Whittaker
44:45and Alex Brooker
44:49We'll be back next week with comedians
44:51Roisin Conaty and Tom Davis
44:53but right now, we've written a song
44:55from a possible Labor musical featuring a moment
44:57from this week's news
44:59Now, while Liz Kendall unveiled welfare cuts
45:01to better help those who need support
45:03to many in the disabled community
45:05those cuts seemed surprisingly wicked
45:07So here is our musical interpretation
45:09of her speech
45:11We hope you hold space for it
45:13Thanks for watching The Last League, my name's Adam Hills
45:15See you next week for The Next League
45:32The party's not the same
45:36We're running out of money
45:39I need someone else to blame
45:44We took the winter fuel out
45:48We fucked the farmers too
45:52And if you've got a blue badge
45:55We're coming after you
46:01It's time to try denying disability
46:07I think I'll try denying disability
46:13And you can't vote me down
46:21I've set some fiscal limits
46:24I drew them up myself
46:27So I'll cut from disablers
46:30Instead of those with massive wills
46:33Too long they've had it easy
46:36Because of all the limbs they've lost
46:39Well, if that's fair
46:41It comes at much too high a cost
46:45I do not try denying disability
46:51Kissing goodbye I'm denying disability
46:57And they won't vote me down
47:02And nobody that sits with me
47:05No spineless, cowardly Labour MP
47:09Is ever gonna vote me down
47:22Vote me down
47:39Thank you