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00:00I'm here with the multi-hyphenate, as I call it, Huma Qureshi.
00:10She's a compelling actress.
00:11You have seen her in movies like Gangs of Wasseypur, Badlapur, Maharani, web series.
00:17She's also a producer.
00:18And today she has yet another feather to your cap, which is kind of filled with like lots
00:23and lots of like ornate stuff.
00:25You are now an author.
00:27And if you haven't picked up her book, Zeba or Zeba, as we call it, she says it's like
00:32potatoes or potatoes, doesn't matter what you call it.
00:35It's about a female superhero.
00:37So perhaps we can dwell into the book.
00:40Firstly, tell us like, can women have it all, Huma?
00:43Clearly, you seem to be the portrait of having it all.
00:46It's very nice to know that I have some legitimacy as an author as well, and not just an actor.
00:53So that's a good feeling.
00:55I was just telling her we were chatting before we'd come in that, you know, writing now is
00:58my side business, like my side hustle.
01:01What I loved about this book, just to give you guys a heads up, it's a female superhero
01:06who's actually tired of saving the world.
01:09She's flawed.
01:10She's fabulous.
01:11And this is what I love.
01:12She's like caped crusader, but she does it with such reluctance.
01:16And I think that's what makes this book so compelling.
01:19Do you think that's why?
01:20I don't know.
01:21I think, you know, we have an idea of what a superhero or a superheroine should look
01:26like, sound like, be like.
01:28I've always loved the idea of imperfect people doing heroic things.
01:33I wanted to have a female character in her 30s, flawed, vulnerable, not so well put together,
01:41doesn't know what direction.
01:42There are a lot of people I think who identify with it, because at least when I was in my
01:45teens, I used to think, you know, 30 year olds are very like smart, they've got it figured
01:50out.
01:51And then you reach there and you're like, not really, there's still so much left to
01:55do.
01:56So that was the idea.
01:57And I love the fact that, you know, she wears her vulnerability and her confusion on her
02:02sleeve.
02:03And yet she still manages to do some great heroic things, but with a lot of like, unsurety
02:08and uncertainty, because, you know, you don't know, you're gonna hit the bullseye till you
02:13hit the bullseye.
02:14I was just saying, it's so interesting that you say you wanted a flawed heroine perhaps,
02:19because most books, movies, etc, have a very idealized version of what a woman should be.
02:26But in your case, you really, it's a departure of sorts, you want to stray away from the
02:31narrative.
02:32Was that very deliberate on your part?
02:33I think so.
02:34I like the idea of portraying women in all their glory, which doesn't mean that they
02:40have to be perfect all the time.
02:42But they have to be real, like living, breathing, three dimensional creatures.
02:46For male characters, we have that range somehow, but not so much for women, you know, either
02:50they're put on a pedestal, or they're supposed to be this vamp, or this victim.
02:55And I feel, no, there are many shades between that.
02:57And it'll be nice to have that kind of nuance of writing in popular culture.
03:02That was the genesis of the idea.
03:05And Zeeba is all of these things and more.
03:07What I love about it is she's rich and privileged.
03:10She has rich people, posh people problems, yet she's not apologetic about it, which I
03:15thought was so interesting.
03:16There are many, many authors, when they talk about, let's say, confessions of a shopaholic,
03:20etc.
03:21There's a lot of like, narrative on why is she rich?
03:24Is she guilty about it?
03:25In this case, she just owns it.
03:27I don't know.
03:28I think that part of it was, I think I didn't grow up as a rich kid.
03:31So that was the fantasy part of it.
03:33I always thought you were rich.
03:34No, we were, we were, we were a good middle class family.
03:38And I think my father and mother worked very hard to give us everything.
03:43When I was till my sixth standard, we lived in a one bedroom house.
03:46And then we moved to like a really nicer house in a better locality.
03:50So I think we've seen both sides of it.
03:53And now of course, I'm an actress and I travel the world.
03:56So now it's the, is the other, I'm living the dream, as they say, touchwood.
04:00So I always wondered, like, you know, why should people be apologetic or sad about anything?
04:06If you're born somewhere, you're born there, you know, that there's no need to feel like
04:09bad or guilty about it.
04:11You need to tell me as well, there's a portion in the book that says most of the female stories
04:15are written by male, from the male gaze through their prism.
04:19So was that liberating for you to write, to put your thoughts into paper, have a protagonist
04:25who's really like who you want women to be represented?
04:28I think so.
04:29You know, I think sometimes, and it happens with me a lot because I'm an actor.
04:35And sometimes, you know, I'm, I'm doing these female centric parts, but most of them are
04:38written by people who don't really understand the female experience.
04:43Because again, like you're trying to distance it, you're trying to either glorify it or
04:47try and like really like victimize it.
04:49And I feel no, I think it's somewhere in the middle.
04:52So the portion that you're talking about in the book, of course, is complete fantasy.
04:56And it takes place, you know, in this area, which has now become sort of like a underground
05:03station for revolution almost for women by women right under this evil dictator's nose.
05:09What was the biggest challenge Huma, in writing this book?
05:12Is it like because writing requires a lot of discipline?
05:16In your case, are you disciplined in general, like, generally, I remember I talked to actors
05:20and they say that they have attention deficit, they're not able to sit in one place.
05:24How did you channel all that and, you know, gain that kind of discipline?
05:28I think my mind is always working.
05:30And I'm always trying to like do multiple things at the same time.
05:33So there's that situation is there.
05:36But I think so this book I started writing during COVID.
05:41So that gave me a lot of time, I wanted to write this actually, for film or television.
05:46This was originally I think, I think blends itself very beautifully as a film or a series.
05:52And I had all this time during COVID.
05:54So I wonder like, should I write this into a script, but I thought that was too cliche
05:58to expect it.
05:59So I tried, I told you, as I told you, I try to jam with a couple of comic book creators
06:03and be like, should we jam together, make this into a comic book.
06:06But that would mean during COVID, do the whole zoom, long distance conversation.
06:10And then it is not just your idea alone, then it's, it takes another form.
06:15So I thought I should do the cooler thing and write a book, you know, right?
06:18So when do you start writing?
06:20Because writing is very frustrating, right?
06:22Did you go through many drafts?
06:24It's not like, I don't know, is it very different from acting?
06:26I know they both are like creative portals, but how different is it?
06:32I mean, my style of writing, I call it, if I have to put it like in a cool way, I just
06:36say it's like this free flowing, morning pages, you know, style where I'm just sort of lucid
06:43writing.
06:44It makes it sound very intelligent.
06:45The other word for it is vomit writing, you know, just you vomit out everything on a piece
06:49of paper.
06:50And then you be like, does it make any sense?
06:51Because sometimes I feel like and I know a lot of people who are, I think AFA would make
06:57far better writers than me.
06:58But I think sometimes also about being brave, and just doing it and then worrying about
07:02is it any good or not?
07:04Because often I think our own feelings of being like, am I good enough?
07:08Stop us from taking that leap.
07:10So I think in this case, I just took the leap.
07:12And during COVID, I would just wake up in the morning, do my little morning pages, do
07:17a little workout, exercise, stretch, whatever, and just sit down to write and I would just
07:20like, pour it all out and then the next day go back and be like, hey, is it making any
07:24sense?
07:25And do I need to rework the previous chapter or something?
07:28So it kind of happened like that.
07:30I don't know if it's a great way to write, but that was the process that I followed.
07:33Clearly, you have a book in your hand.
07:34So it has worked.
07:35I mean, something works.
07:36No, I love it.
07:37Did it make you feel very vulnerable as well?
07:40Because I remember it's also part of you, right?
07:42Many times while I was reading this book, I was wondering whether is this Huma speaking
07:47or is this Ebba?
07:48I had such like flashes because I've interviewed you in the past for several movies.
07:52It's like you are speaking to me and it felt very intimate and personal.
07:56So the style of the book, for those of you who have not read the book, is so each chapter
08:00is a different character taking the story forward.
08:03The entire book is in first person.
08:05So if one chapter is Ebba talking, the other chapter is her mother or her father or the
08:09villain and they all are in first person and then of course the narrator voice takes over.
08:14So it's very fluid in that sense.
08:16They all are me and they all are not me.
08:19But yes, the way I talk candidly, I feel when you think at least as characters, even if
08:26you are the bad guy or the villain, you know, you won't judge yourself.
08:29No villain thinks he's the bad guy, right?
08:31They all have reasons for justification.
08:32So I think the tone of the book hence is your own thoughts.
08:36And there's hence, there's no filter to it.
08:38Right, of course.
08:39And like you said, every superhero movie or a book is as good as a super villain, right?
08:44Look at Joker, for instance, Joaquin Phoenix, brilliant in it, right?
08:48You want to know his backstory.
08:49Even with this, the great Khan, the dictator, the tyrant, how much of it did you really
08:54want him to humanize him?
08:56You did, right?
08:57At the end of the day, somewhere at the end of the book, you're like, he's bad for a reason,
09:00he's evil for a reason.
09:01You reach a certain kind of understanding.
09:03He begins off as a very bad guy and then later you kind of humanize him.
09:07And not that I was trying to like justify any of his actions, but there's a reason for it.
09:13And sometimes if you just understand the reason, you understand the root of the problem is
09:16not the person, but the situation.
09:19The great Khan, as we call him in the book, you know, is one of my most favorite characters
09:22to write for because everything he stands for, I hate.
09:26Like he's just a bad person.
09:28Like he thinks murder is just so easy and killing people is just such a fun thing to
09:33do.
09:34Like he jokes about like killing his chef because he suspects he's a spy and before
09:38he kills him, you know, he gets him to prepare like a last meal and he compliments him for
09:44the eel, sushi or whatever he makes.
09:46And I'm just like, that's just a horrible thing, but makes for like, I get great reading
09:51or great cinema.
09:52And revetting read.
09:53Do you think you love going into dark spaces as a writer?
09:56I love going into real spaces with a bit of flair.
10:01Let's put it like that.
10:02I feel like I don't like to go into morose spaces or like dark spaces where you feel
10:07like really repulsed.
10:08But no, you touch upon, I think the book touches upon a lot of grown up themes, political themes,
10:13adult themes, but from a very like 360 wholesome perspective.
10:18It doesn't try to take a side, but it talks about basic humanity, talks about what it
10:23means to be this superhero in today's day and age, it talks about the past and the future
10:29and the present, but without taking a side or saying, oh, what is better?
10:33You know, it is neither trapped in nostalgia nor does it say, oh, only the future is great.
10:38But it kind of tries to say, okay, we are here because there's continuity, right?
10:44Tradition is also important, who we are today is also important.
10:47Our feelings, which may be not so great or not so correct, they're also human.
10:53We all feel these things, right?
10:55Of course, we check ourselves and we correct ourselves and we, but it's natural.
11:00Everyone goes through this, right?
11:01And that kashmakash, that fight between the good and bad inside, you constantly, even
11:07with this, with the protagonist, because the protagonist is not a perfect protagonist.
11:11She's flawed.
11:12And many people will be like, oh, she's a bad person.
11:14But then you see her transformation and her journey to someone perhaps likable or if not
11:20likable, someone who ends up doing good things.
11:23What I loved about the book is also the immigrant experience that you talk about, like Shaja,
11:28if you look at it, there are many people who come from different parts of the world.
11:31They live here, they make a living, the kids that come out of it, they're often confused.
11:35Ziva as well is like, she lives in New York, but then I think her roots are in her native
11:40land.
11:41So that dichotomy was so interesting.
11:43So did you want that?
11:44Did you have a similar personal experience?
11:47I've no unfortunately, or fortunately, no, I've my whole life till I moved to Mumbai
11:53was in a five kilometer radius in Delhi.
11:55I grew up there, went to school there, went to college there.
11:58And then once I moved to Mumbai, my world just kind of exploded.
12:01And now, I mean, yeah, Mumbai is home, but like, I go everywhere, like I'm traveling
12:06at least seven months in a year, which is a lot like either for work or shoots or holidays
12:11or whatever.
12:12But I feel the immigrant experience is so important.
12:15Because what is home?
12:16You know, is home where your parents come from, because my mom was from Kashmir.
12:20So when I go to Kashmir, and that's my Nanihal.
12:23So then I'm like, oh, that's also home.
12:25My dad was born in Nizamuddin.
12:28I grew up in GK.
12:29And when you go, and I don't know how many of you are familiar with when I'm taking these
12:32names, they're very different spaces, very different ways of living, like I would go
12:38to school and we would be this in cool South Delhi school with like listening to Backstreet
12:43Boys and, you know, 90s Rehman and that was a jam.
12:47And then when you go to Kashmir, it's a different world.
12:49When you go to Nizamuddin, it's a different world and you had to, you know, be more proper
12:52because your grandparents are there and you had to know, you had to be like a bit more
12:56well behaved.
12:57So as a young kid, you learn to navigate all these spaces because you can't be an outsider
13:03anywhere.
13:04And they all are your realities, and they all are lovely, and they all must be embraced
13:09because you don't want to feel, you don't want your grandmum not to like you, you know,
13:13that's also important.
13:14You love the fact that she makes your favorite kheer for you, you know, so those things.
13:18There's one statement or sentence in the book that really had my heart.
13:23It says you're a 30 year old whose inner child is yet to be healed.
13:27That really spoke to me, Huma.
13:28I think you're talking to several women.
13:30You know what your inner child could never be, you're always a work in progress.
13:33Do you think as an actor, you brought that kind of experience because you have made it
13:38in Bollywood through your own grit, your own, your choices, movie choices are so different
13:42from the conventional song and dance, cameos, etc.
13:46So did you bring that a lot to the book as well?
13:48You wanted this heroine to be reflective of who you are as an actor as well.
13:52I don't know if that was a conscious choice or just seeped in.
13:55I feel like we all have an inner child that's not healed.
14:00You know, we all are products of our backgrounds, our families, and there's no like right or
14:05wrong or black or white.
14:06It's just how we are, the messiness of human relationships, the messiness of what it is
14:10to be a woman, a man, a parent, a child, you know, these things are not so clear.
14:16You know, for example, a lot of working women, they do feel guilty about like leaving the
14:20child behind, but they also have to be, they have to do things for themselves.
14:25And I feel they're better role models because they're working and the kids also see the
14:29fact that they have women, you know, who have agency as a role model in their family.
14:35With Zeeba, like, sure, she's privileged and she's rich, but she's also directionless,
14:39you know, and at the same time, her inner child is not healed because I mean, for those
14:43of you not read the book, she was abandoned as a child and then she was adopted per chance
14:50by this really affluent family and within 72 hours of her abandonment and going to New
14:56York, suddenly now she's in the lap of luxury.
15:00So was it fate?
15:01Was it destiny?
15:02Was it predestined?
15:03We don't know.
15:04And then of course, so she, of course, is born in the lap of luxury.
15:07But for her, the biggest thing is why would you abandon a child?
15:11And that angst she always grew up with.
15:13And this is also a superhero who says, it's okay to have therapy, which I thought brings
15:18the conversation about mental health to the fore.
15:22Was that deliberate on your part as well?
15:24A hundred percent.
15:25Superheroes definitely need therapy.
15:27Think of all the like killing and shooting and saving the world and putting ourselves
15:30in like danger.
15:31PTSD is a real situation, guys.
15:33That's an occupational hazard.
15:34It's a full time occupational hazard and they also need all the help and care some TLC superheroes
15:40need.
15:41When celebrities write, especially Bollywood actresses, or let's say when Twinkle Kanna
15:45wrote a book, the first thing among our newsroom was, did she write it or did somebody else
15:51ghost write it for her?
15:52It's a very valid question and it's not diminishing what she has done.
15:56And later we spoke to her, we realized she has a great voice, great sense of humor.
16:00In your case as well, were you aware that you would be asked that question?
16:03Like how much of it is Huma Qureshi's words or did somebody really help you along?
16:07You just said that to yourself.
16:09Nobody else can write this much.
16:10But me, in fact, I was just telling her before on the eve, before this book was supposed
16:14to come out, I got this massive panic attack.
16:18Because I'm like, you know, earlier as an actor, if you do a bad job or something, you
16:21can hide behind saying, oh, director's fault, or the writer just wrote a bad scene, what
16:25can I do?
16:26They shot me poorly.
16:27Now I'm like, now they know how I think.
16:30Like you know how vulnerable that makes you feel when people can hear your inner voice
16:33and you're just like, I don't know if that's a good thing, what will my mom think about
16:37me?
16:38What will my teacher think about me?
16:39Oh God, like.
16:40I think your mom would be extremely proud that much I guess.
16:42She must be.
16:44She has read the book.
16:45She has read the book.
16:46And you know, it's interesting how different people take away different things.
16:49And for her, the book was about how your belief can transform you.
16:57You know, for somebody else, like when you saw it, you saw it as like this very like
17:01modern book, which talks about the past, present and future and tradition and modernity in
17:06a very real way and in a popular culture way.
17:10But she spoke about, because she's a woman of belief, she's like, hey, you know, when
17:14even if you don't start off as the right person, belief can really transform you.
17:19And I was like, nice, I like it.
17:20You said writing is a side hustle.
17:24Do you think at any point it's going to be a lot more?
17:26Would you even direct a series like if this were to be made into a series, which I think
17:31she drops broad hints in the book.
17:33She's like, guys, make sure my costume looks really good.
17:36The black is the right shade of black and it's slick.
17:39So I think you're manifesting already.
17:40I think it's already in the works.
17:42Something tells me it's already in the works.
17:43I don't know if it's in the works or not.
17:44Maybe it's in the work in the cosmos.
17:46I don't know.
17:47But I'm putting it out there.
17:48I actually wrote this as a 10-pager first as a television pitch.
17:51And I did send it to people and they were like, oh, it needs a lot of money to be mounted
17:54because it's fantasy fiction.
17:57And then I wrote the book because I'm like having an eyepiece damn cooler than writing
18:01a script.
18:02But no, I definitely would love for it to be a film or a series.
18:05That's the plan.
18:06I don't know how or when.
18:08I don't know if I'll direct.
18:10Would I like to direct?
18:11I think at some point I will direct.
18:13I just have to find the right co-actors who will be happy with having me direct and act
18:16with them.
18:17Go the Bradley Cooper way.
18:19Of course, you need to tell me, in terms of writing, acting, etc., what are you most comfortable
18:26in, Huma?
18:27Acting is what makes me happy.
18:31Being on a film set, I feel most alive.
18:33When they say, when will you retire?
18:34I'm like, you know what?
18:35Even when I'm 90, I don't want to be acting.
18:38I would want to be directing.
18:39I would want to be producing.
18:40I want to be doing something with the movie business.
18:42I find the whole idea of creating something and when it is, you know, put out there, just
18:49people you never meet or will never ever meet can get touched by your body of work.
18:55You know, something that you've created.
18:56I find that so beautiful.
18:57Like when I come, like I just came here and I met so many people and for the first time
19:01and I probably meet them only once and they took a picture or they shook my hand and they
19:04were like, we were waiting for you or I just meet a random person.
19:07And you know, sometimes I get very taken aback, they're like, Huma, how are you?
19:10And I'm like, do I know this person?
19:12And then I realized, no, it's just a fan who's just excited to see me.
19:16But the fact that someone loves you like that, it's so beautiful, you know, and that's the
19:21power of the medium that I work in.
19:23That people see a Maharani and they be like, you know, it's really like, or they see a
19:26double XL and be like, it really changed my life.
19:28It inspired me or I can also do it.
19:30I love that.
19:31I love that, that power that my profession gives me.
19:35I love that.
19:36You also did a very bold move when it came to writing this book.
19:39In the climax, she leaves it open-ended, where the violent scenes, she says she's not interested
19:45in writing it.
19:46She wants the readers to perhaps decide.
19:49Imagine the violence.
19:50Yes.
19:51See, we all have a different threshold for violence, okay?
19:53I did a film called Gangs of Wasseypur.
19:55I was like, for a lady who was in Gangs of Wasseypur, taking such a vanilla stand, it's
19:59such a cop-out.
20:01Do you think it's a cop-out?
20:02It's not a cop-out at all.
20:03I just feel like, I feel like whenever it becomes a film, we'll let very able directors
20:09and action directors create the magic of action.
20:14I feel like it was not needed.
20:16Deepa Mehta is interestingly involved in your journey.
20:20Can you tell me, like, how did she prompt you?
20:23She discovered the writer in you.
20:26She's been a great friend, director, ally, mother.
20:32I don't know what to call her.
20:33She actually read the first 10 pages I wrote and she's like, you can write, just do it.
20:38Don't think about anything.
20:39And she read one of the earlier drafts and sent me some of her feedback and notes and
20:43I absolutely love her.
20:46She's really empowered me as a writer, as an actor, as a person.
20:50What did you think of the reviews that have come through, Zeba?
20:52Did you read every one of them?
20:54And is it like a movie releasing as well, where you look at the star rating and go like,
20:58oh my God, my validation comes from the reviews as well?
21:01I mean, I'm an actor by profession, guys.
21:03Of course, I read all the reviews.
21:04And they've been very kind.
21:06I think maybe it's my first book, so they've been nicer to me.
21:08We'll know by the next one.
21:10That's correct.
21:11That's what they really think.
21:12Thank you so much for your time.
21:13Thank you so much.
21:14You were lovely.
21:16So are you.
21:18Thank you, guys.