Drew Carey: The Healing Power of Humor
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00:00I don't have to go to work, I get to go to work, I get to be here. It's a privilege for me to be
00:04here. Looking back, I realized that in my, because I've been a stand-up comic for so long,
00:10that I was, I had that kind of mindset when I came in, like it was just my time to be on stage now.
00:16So when you, especially when you do sets in like in LA, there might be 10 comics on the bill and
00:22everybody gets like 10 minutes or 15 minutes or eight comics and there's like a bunch of people
00:27and even when you're on the road, there's three comics and so you always have to share the stage
00:31and when you get on stage, you can't think to yourself, oh somebody else was just on stage,
00:37I wonder how I'm gonna do or you know, anything like that. You just get up and do whatever time
00:43you have and try to make the best of it and that's kind of like the underlying attitude I had,
00:48whether I liked it or not. I just didn't want to get the show canceled. You know, I didn't,
00:53I didn't want to be responsible for ruining the show and I wanted to keep it alive because it was
00:58such an institution and so I was very, that's the feeling I was like, oh I don't want to screw this
01:03up. I just, I want to be the one that keeps it going and once I got comfortable after a couple
01:08years and felt like it was more like my show instead of me just being a steward of somebody
01:13else's show, which is like the attitude I had when I first started, I thought, well I can
01:20do this for a while and now I think I just want to just do it forever as long as I'm
01:25mentally and physically able to show up. It's such a fun thing for me to do and you know,
01:32you need a sense of purpose and something to do and the money's nice and, but mostly it's just
01:36like, it's just a cool job to have that I don't even think of it as a job. I just think of it as,
01:41you know, a blessing to me so I don't have to go to work. I get to go to work, you know, I get to
01:46be here. I'm a, it's a privilege for me to be here. It's an honor for me to be here. Like,
01:51why would I give that up unless all of a sudden my memory started going or something. So we'll
01:57see how I, we'll see how I hold up. It's such a common thing for me to, I remember dating somebody
02:04early on and they were like, why are you saying, you know, you're sending hearts to all these
02:09friends and these female friends of yours and saying I love you and I go, yeah, I say it to
02:13everybody. I text them with a heart. I tell them I love them and I tell their husbands I love them
02:19when I say goodbye and I tell their kids I love them when I say goodbye. I, it should be as common
02:25as saying hello and goodbye. There's nothing wrong with spreading love and saying I love you to
02:30people and this idea that, you know, men especially have to suppress the idea of saying I love you to
02:40somebody. You know, I saw Paul McCartney in concert a few times and he makes it a point
02:47to say on stage when he's, he does the thing where he sings with a video of John
02:52and he makes a point to say I love you to John and he mentions on stage that when we were growing up
02:57we were never allowed to say that. So we never told each other that we loved each other as tight
03:02as they were and as close as they were. And it always breaks my heart to hear that, that, you
03:07know, and really only men get told they're not allowed to express love and they're not allowed
03:11to hug and they're not allowed to do these things or they're weak or they're somehow not masculine
03:17enough. It's ridiculous in our modern society that only in modern America and modern western
03:23society was this not allowed when it was common all throughout history and expected. I don't know
03:28why we stopped but, yeah, I don't, I think it's important to have that out there and make it a
03:35practice to tell people you love them, yeah. Well, first of all, I didn't know what I was doing.
03:42So the first time I tried to kill myself, I was drinking, I was, I had a couple beers and I took
03:47a bottle of, a whole bottle of Sominux, which is not strong enough to do anything to you,
03:53death-wise. But I took this, I took, oh, it takes sleeping pills if you want to kill yourself,
03:57so I just swallowed all the Sominux, that's the only sleeping pills I knew of. And I didn't know
04:02about prescriptions, sleeping pills at the time, I was too young. And then I told my fraternity
04:07brothers that I, hey, I just took all these pills and they took me to the medical center and they
04:12gave me EpiCac and made me throw up. And I remember, hello to my fraternity brother Paul,
04:20I remember, like everybody knew it was going to be okay, but I was throwing up over the toilet
04:26from this EpiCac and just like feeling the worst. And my friend Paul was holding my shoulders while
04:30I threw up and he started singing, take Sominux tonight and sleep, sleep, sleep, he started singing
04:38this song. Oh my God, that made me feel so much better as somebody who was able to joke about it.
04:43I saw a counselor, so at the time, like, you know, the idea that somebody would see a psychiatrist
04:52would ruin your career. Everybody needs a therapist and everybody needs that kind of help,
04:56whether you're seeing a professional or not. Like when you go talk to a friend or a bartender
05:02or Reddit and look for answers on the internet, you're seeking therapeutic help for a problem
05:09you have. Why not see a pro that has a degree in psychology and how the brains work and what
05:15neurons do and how habits are formed and what really goes on instead of going to a bunch of
05:21amateurs on Reddit or bartenders or your friends who only have the same experience that you do,
05:26who don't, who can't see outside the scope for what you need. Why, if you broke an arm, you
05:32wouldn't go to your buddy who knows first aid, you would go to a freaking doctor that the best
05:38bone person you could afford to get your arm set. But don't you know people in your family or your
05:44friends group, acquaintances who have been sick and then they tell you, yeah, I've been feeling
05:50this, but I didn't want to go to the doctor. I didn't want to bother the doctor. I didn't want
05:56to do the paperwork. I didn't want to take a day off work to take care. And now they have cancer
06:02or they have something else that have waited too long or they have something that's going to be
06:05really hard to beat now because they waited three months, six months longer than they should have
06:11because they felt this ache or pain or this thing happening and they didn't seek any help. With
06:15regular therapy and regular checkups, regular dentists, like you can catch stuff ahead of time.
06:22Like you don't have to have anything going wrong with you to see a therapist. You just go because
06:26you don't want anything to go wrong with you, you know, and keep on the path of your path of what
06:32you want out of your life. And I don't know, people in America and especially men are told not to do
06:39that. I've always had that, like my, that's my way out of everything. Yeah, and that's like, I have
06:46no objection to people using like dark humor because I know that's how they get through things
06:51and that's how they deal with things. So, yeah, like when my friend Paul started singing Take
06:57Salmonex Tonight and Sleep, that really made me laugh at one of my, while I was throwing up,
07:03after thinking I wanted to kill myself, he made me laugh by making a joke and knowing it was,
07:08and he knew me well enough, he was one of my best friends at the time, and he knew me well enough to
07:12know that this was a playful time, a time he could be playful with me and not hurt me. And it was
07:19kind of perfect, honestly. I'll never forget it as long as I live. First thing, make my bed, totally
07:25make my bed, fluff the pillows, make it look like a, you know, ready for the people to come
07:30over who are going to buy the house. You know, I want it to look like that. And when I cooked
07:35breakfast and I scrubbed everything down and got it disinfected, wiped down all the counters, like
07:39I was working in a professional kitchen and everything had to be spick and span and squared
07:44away, and it really kept me positive all during COVID. And the idea of like the work ethic that
07:52you learn from the Marine Corps and the confidence that you get from just having done that, like
07:58nothing seems impossible for me because I was in the Marine Corps. I was like,
08:04why would I be afraid of that? I was in the Marine Corps. Don't be in it. Don't be afraid of this.
08:08You were in the Marine Corps. I would just, I always just remind myself like, man, you did
08:13a thing that not a lot of people get to do. Like a lot of people do it. I don't know. There's a lot
08:17of people been through the Marine. It's not like that singular, but it's rare. Not that many people
08:23percentage-wise have decided, yes, I'm going to go through this three months of bootcamp. And yes,
08:28I'm going to have this train of thought instilled in me and subject myself to this.
08:35But it really, all that stuff really, really, really stuck with me. The self-discipline,
08:40the idea like, you know, the just idea of, yeah, you have to get up early for a week
08:49and do this thing that maybe you weren't looking forward to doing, but learn to make the most of
08:53it, make the best of it. And I got that from the Marine Corps, that kind of attitude. And,
08:58working out of that all came from the Marine Corps. I have so much to thank the Marine Corps for.