Mi Abuelo es un Peligro Película Completa en Español Latino
Mi Abuelo es un Peligro Película Completa en Español Latino
Mi Abuelo es un Peligro Película Completa en Español Latino
Mi Abuelo es un Peligro Película Completa en Español Latino
Mi Abuelo es un Peligro Película Completa en Español Latino
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00:00:00I told you, if my counterpart refers to the President of Fiduciary Responsibility, who establishes the handgraph against Henderson,
00:00:17Miss, please, proceed. Go ahead, rescind the petition of the plaintiff, of the court mandate.
00:00:24It was fun, it was fun. Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm leaving.
00:00:32What's wrong, Nick?
00:00:33Shit.
00:00:34How terrible what happened to Grandma.
00:00:38Yes.
00:00:39That the poor old woman died murdered.
00:00:41Nick, she had cancer.
00:00:42We'll never know the truth.
00:00:43We already know the whole truth.
00:00:44Yes.
00:00:45Grandma had cancer for ten years.
00:00:46No one ever dies of cancer, Jason.
00:00:50Calm down, Jason.
00:00:51She was crucified, Grandma.
00:00:53What are you doing? You're kidding, idiot.
00:00:55Hey, behave now.
00:00:57Don't you see that my father and my fiancée are standing next to us?
00:01:00Are they crazy?
00:01:01No.
00:01:02What is that?
00:01:04What are you doing?
00:01:05Just...
00:01:06Are you high, idiot?
00:01:07No, this is an electronic cigarette.
00:01:09I filled it with grass, but it's an electronic cigarette.
00:01:12It's ripe.
00:01:13What are you doing?
00:01:14Oh, it's ripe?
00:01:15How old are you?
00:01:16Do you listen to cultural radio on your Volvo?
00:01:18Do you also play competitive racquetball with your business partners?
00:01:20No.
00:01:21Do you go on vacation to a rented house with other couples
00:01:23and play bingo drinking white wine?
00:01:25Jason?
00:01:31I just gave me a touch in memory of your grandmother.
00:01:49The first thing that I'd like to do
00:01:53Is to save every day
00:01:56Till eternity passes away
00:01:59Just to spend them with you
00:02:03If I could make days last forever
00:02:08If words could make wishes come true
00:02:13I'd save every day
00:02:15Like a treasure in vain
00:02:18The first reading is from Deuteronomy 30.19
00:02:22This day I call to the heavens and the earth
00:02:26For witnesses against you
00:02:28That today I have put life and death
00:02:31The blessing and the curse
00:02:34In front of me
00:02:36That is not of the light the race
00:02:39Nor the battle of the strong
00:02:42Nor even of the wise the bread
00:02:44Nor of the prudent the kings
00:02:46Nor of the wise the favor
00:02:48But that time
00:02:50That occasion
00:02:51Happens to all
00:02:53Only the resurrection
00:02:55And the life
00:02:56For the one who believes in me
00:02:58It will be a very special day
00:03:00So choose life
00:03:02So that you and your offspring live
00:03:08Anyway, now I'm living in Valdosta
00:03:10There would be a fucking pet store
00:03:12Well, not a store
00:03:13A dog breeder
00:03:14Ah, dogs, yes
00:03:15Designer dogs have a bad reputation
00:03:17But they sell for a lot of money
00:03:18Really?
00:03:19The difficult thing is that they stop
00:03:21Because the small dogs
00:03:22Don't want to take the big dogs
00:03:24And the big dogs
00:03:25Don't want to take the small ones
00:03:26So I manually
00:03:27Oh, really?
00:03:28I do it, yes
00:03:29I have to open and shoot manually
00:03:32But tell me about you
00:03:33Well, I keep busy
00:03:34How crazy
00:03:35Hello, Dayan
00:03:36How have you been?
00:03:37Hello, Emilio
00:03:38How are you, Nick?
00:03:39I just don't understand
00:03:40Why you have to go to Florida by car
00:03:41Tomorrow, dad
00:03:42What about the funeral?
00:03:43Your mother and I
00:03:44Went to this time every year
00:03:45It's what she would have wanted
00:03:46I would go alone in my car
00:03:47But they took my license
00:03:49But why Jason
00:03:50Must be the one to take you?
00:03:51He has a lot of work
00:03:52And his wedding is next week
00:03:54The rehearsal lunch
00:03:55And hey, the whole office
00:03:56Is going to be present
00:03:57Yes, it's true, grandpa
00:03:58And we have a lot to do
00:03:59Jason
00:04:02Continue
00:04:03How's cousin Nick?
00:04:05Eh, dad?
00:04:06Why don't they take you, Nick?
00:04:07In the store
00:04:08We have a chocolate breeder
00:04:09That is so hot
00:04:10That every time
00:04:11He caresses his ear
00:04:12He shoots semen
00:04:14Ah, ok
00:04:15He comes to burbotones
00:04:16Is the dog yours?
00:04:18Nick is legally forbidden
00:04:19To leave the state
00:04:20Since high school
00:04:21I hardly see your son
00:04:22What's wrong
00:04:23With spending time with him?
00:04:24Ah, and spending time
00:04:25With the family
00:04:26Suddenly you care now?
00:04:27Listen, if you come
00:04:28For breakfast with me tomorrow
00:04:29You can take me to Boca
00:04:30During the day
00:04:31Maybe play a round of golf
00:04:32Or two
00:04:33And I would come back here
00:04:34To Atlanta the next day
00:04:35He can't
00:04:36Smoke for two days
00:04:37The risk against reward
00:04:38Here, no, no
00:04:39I don't think that's possible
00:04:41That's what she would have wanted
00:04:44But yes
00:04:45You should get ready
00:04:46For your wedding
00:04:47And you're so busy
00:04:56I just don't understand
00:04:57Why he wants you
00:04:58To take him
00:04:59They're not even that close
00:05:00Well, we were before
00:05:01Grandpa and I
00:05:02Loved each other a lot
00:05:03We used to
00:05:04Build scale trains
00:05:05Every Christmas
00:05:06And that's why
00:05:07I'll take him
00:05:09Yes
00:05:10I know
00:05:11Yes
00:05:12I know
00:05:13And I can't find any
00:05:14Of the vacation photos
00:05:15From Marta Spinschar
00:05:16For the projection
00:05:17I'm going crazy
00:05:18Because they're on my laptop
00:05:19Here it is
00:05:20And I'll send them
00:05:21To the organizer
00:05:22Don't worry about anything
00:05:23Thank you
00:05:24And your father says
00:05:25They're leaving at 75
00:05:26Not 16
00:05:27Yes
00:05:28I know
00:05:29He plans everything
00:05:30For me
00:05:31Ah, and can you
00:05:32Take my car, honey?
00:05:33Oh, I need the truck
00:05:34For the wine
00:05:38Abuelo?
00:05:42Abuelo?
00:06:08Abuelo?
00:06:13Abuelo?
00:06:24Hola, ¿viviste?
00:06:26Un momento.
00:06:28¡Ay, no, qué puto asco!
00:06:34¿Listo para viajar?
00:06:35Lo siento mucho, abuelo, no pensé que estuvieras haciendo eso.
00:06:39Me sorprendiste haciendo del tres, ¿qué más da, no?
00:06:42¿Haciendo del tres?
00:06:44Bebe un trago.
00:06:46No, voy a conducir.
00:06:48Tengo que acabar mis ejercicios y luego tomaremos la 16 hasta la 95.
00:06:54Papá dice que tomemos la 75 a la 95, que es más directa.
00:06:58Tu padre es un pendejo.
00:07:00Abuelo, ¿seguro que estás bien?
00:07:02Gracias por esto, por cierto.
00:07:04Los estúpidos de tránsito me quitaron la maldita licencia por las putas cataratas en mi ojo.
00:07:09Pero todavía puedo hacer mierda una pelota de golf.
00:07:11Hice una reservación para el campo de golf esta tarde.
00:07:14Puedes usar los palos de mujer de tu abuela, los puse junto a la puerta.
00:07:17Ok.
00:07:19Muy bien, ¿estás listo?
00:07:21¿Creí que íbamos a desayunar aquí?
00:07:23Es esto desayuno. Subamos a esa vagina gigante en la que viniste y larguémonos de aquí.
00:07:32¿Seguro que debería conducir con esto en la mano, abuelo?
00:07:35Descuida, si lo derramas lo absorberá este tampón gigante que conduces.
00:07:46Solo termino el trabajo para el expediente Steinhardt para el caso.
00:07:54Eres abogado en el despacho de tu padre, ¿verdad?
00:07:56Así es, y Meredith también. Su padre es uno de los socios principales, así que...
00:08:00¡Tú! Entiendo, bien, sí.
00:08:02Sí, sí, eso no pudo haber sido mejor.
00:08:04Porque recuerdo que en la preparatoria me dijiste lo mucho que querías ser fotógrafo, viajar por el mundo, ese tipo de cosas.
00:08:10¿Recuerdas que te obsequié una suscripción a la revista Time?
00:08:13Sí, me gustaba la fotografía, pero vaya con papá en el despacho.
00:08:18Me pareció mucho más lógico enfocarme en la fotografía.
00:08:21Vaya con papá en el despacho.
00:08:24Me pareció mucho más lógico enfocar todos mis estudios hacia la escuela de leyes.
00:08:28Y me encanta lo que hago, abuelo. Ser abogado corporativo es genial.
00:08:31Me hago cargo de requerimientos bursátiles.
00:08:33No, no es cierto.
00:08:35¿En serio te haces cargo de lo bursátil?
00:08:37De actas constitutivas.
00:08:39Vaya, eso no lo sabía.
00:08:41Por varios acuerdos.
00:08:43Estás bromeando.
00:08:45Ser abogado corporativo, bueno, tiene sus ventajas. Es algo...
00:08:47¿Sabes qué preferiría yo?
00:08:49¿Qué?
00:08:52Pero es eso yo.
00:08:54Voy a esa licorería a comprar más de mi brebaje.
00:08:56Te veo en el dildo móvil en cinco minutos.
00:08:58Tú pagas la cuenta, señorito abogado.
00:09:02¿De dónde lo conozco me resulta muy familiar?
00:09:05Sí, parece hijo de Abercrombie con Fitch.
00:09:07Sí, mientras Jake Cruz se masturbaba.
00:09:09¡Claro, no! Oigan, él era... ¡Qué curioso!
00:09:11Era mi compañero de laboratorio de fotografía en la universidad.
00:09:14¡No juegues! ¿Fue a la universidad de Florida también?
00:09:17¡Lenore, con él puedes completar tu tercio!
00:09:18¡Ay, por Dios! Ya tengo el ex-alumno, ¿lo olvidas?
00:09:20Me acosté con ese divorciado llorón.
00:09:22¿Tony?
00:09:23Sí.
00:09:24¿El de las polotas?
00:09:25Sí.
00:09:26¿En el baño móvil?
00:09:27Sí.
00:09:28¿En la fiesta?
00:09:29Sí.
00:09:30Necesito un profesor.
00:09:32¿Lo olvidé? ¿Cuál era esa tercia otra vez?
00:09:34Leí que en mi último año debo cogerme a alguien de primer año,
00:09:36a un ex-alumno y a un profesor.
00:09:38¿Dónde leíste eso?
00:09:40En mi diario.
00:09:42¿Dónde lo escribí?
00:09:44Es que ese chico tomaba unos retratos bellísimos
00:09:46sin usar algún tipo de filtro,
00:09:48así que no me gustó.
00:09:50¿Lo leíste?
00:09:51Sí.
00:09:52¿Te gustó?
00:09:53No están oyendo, voy a ir a saludarlo.
00:09:54¿Ok?
00:09:55¡Zorra!
00:09:57Solo espero que no termines manoseada.
00:09:59Está fuera de tiempo, pero aún cuenta.
00:10:01Igual que mi menstruación.
00:10:03¿Qué?
00:10:07Hola.
00:10:09¿Cómo te ha ido?
00:10:11Bien, aquí tienes, conserva el calor.
00:10:13No, no, no, yo no vengo a...
00:10:15No, no soy...
00:10:16Ok.
00:10:21Chicos, chicos, oiganme, miren esto.
00:10:23¿Qué?
00:10:24Vámonos.
00:10:25¿Qué?
00:10:26¡Vámonos ya!
00:10:27Ay, no.
00:10:28¡Oye, oye, oye!
00:10:30¿Está todo en orden?
00:10:32Ah, sí, ya le pagué a la otra camarera, lo siento.
00:10:34No, señor, aquí no hay otra camarera.
00:10:36Soy la única que trabaja en este lugar,
00:10:38desde siempre.
00:10:40¡Este puto patazo de chatarra no entiende!
00:10:42¡Oigan!
00:10:44¡Oigan!
00:10:46No sé si igual a terminator, pero galán.
00:10:48Ay, carajo, disculpa.
00:10:50Ay, perdón, pero ya terminó mi turno,
00:10:52así que lo siento.
00:10:54Ay, no puede ser.
00:10:55¿Qué?
00:10:56Te conozco.
00:10:57No.
00:10:58Sí, claro, estabas en mi clase de fotografía,
00:11:00tomabas paisajes, ¿o no?
00:11:02Shadia.
00:11:04Sí, Shadia.
00:11:06Pero qué cosa.
00:11:07Eres Shadia.
00:11:08Sí, Shadia.
00:11:09¡Provecho!
00:11:10¡Ah!
00:11:11¿Qué te pasa?
00:11:12Shadia.
00:11:13Significa cantante en árabe,
00:11:14o en árabe antiguo,
00:11:16al-muchit al-editon al-en el-meh,
00:11:18o aquella que llama a los otros al agua.
00:11:20De hecho, es cierto.
00:11:21Shadia, él es...
00:11:23El doctor Richard enseño historia en la universidad de Georgia.
00:11:25¿Es profesor?
00:11:27Sí, ¿por qué?
00:11:29¿Quiere subir tus calificaciones?
00:11:31Jason y yo hacemos un reportaje sobre Medio Oriente.
00:11:33Él es fotógrafo para la revista Time.
00:11:35¿Sabe?
00:11:37Perdí mi virginidad en una noche de bingo de mis abuelos.
00:11:39Me llamó Lenore.
00:11:41Ah, la única y radiante doncella que los ángeles nombraron.
00:11:42¿Qué pasa?
00:11:43¿Estás gritando al cuervo?
00:11:44¿Nunca más?
00:11:45No.
00:11:46Diplomáticos, ¿eh?
00:11:47Oye, sabes de puros, ¿eh?
00:11:49¿Qué eres, mitad cubana?
00:11:51De hecho, sí lo soy, profesor.
00:11:55La mitad de a vos.
00:11:56OK.
00:11:57Bueno, ¿ya nos vamos?
00:11:58Sí.
00:11:59Qué gusto verte.
00:12:00Vamos a Araytona Beach.
00:12:01Ay, Dios mío, debimos estar allá hace como tres malditas horas,
00:12:03así que vámonos, perritas.
00:12:04Santo cielo.
00:12:05¿Qué, señores?
00:12:07Nada, que eres muy gay.
00:12:09Ay, no me diga.
00:12:10Gracias.
00:12:11Oh, hija, también noto que soy negro, ¿no?
00:12:13Sí, lo sé.
00:12:14También es gracioso.
00:12:16Entonces, ¿le gustaría acompañarnos, tal vez,
00:12:18para hacer unos bebés y divertirnos?
00:12:20Por supuesto que no.
00:12:21¿Por qué?
00:12:22Tenemos reservación para jugar golf.
00:12:24Ah, seguro que sí.
00:12:25¿Y la siesta antes de la partida de damas?
00:12:27No, jugamos canasta y cenamos a las cuatro.
00:12:29Hace mucho apostamos a ver quién es mejor golfista.
00:12:31Obviamente, yo tengo el fierro más grande.
00:12:33Qué bien, podré usarlo para meter sus bolas en mi vagina.
00:12:36Bien, ya, súbete rato.
00:12:38Vámonos, vámonos.
00:12:40Gracias por pagar.
00:12:44Linda chica.
00:12:45Sí.
00:12:57Bueno.
00:12:59¿Cómo me veo?
00:13:01Como conferencista en una convención de maricas.
00:13:03¿Eh?
00:13:04¿Eh?
00:13:05¿Eh?
00:13:06No haremos el hoyo uno, es un par cuatro fácil.
00:13:07No, no, no, no, oye.
00:13:09Súbete.
00:13:10Es contra las reglas.
00:13:11A la mierda, sube, vamos.
00:13:13Y además, una falta a la etiqueta del golf.
00:13:16Oye, oye, oye.
00:13:17No me estorben, pendejos.
00:13:18Oye, ¿qué haces?
00:13:20Te voy a llevar a este niño a mi convención de maricas.
00:13:23Ey, ese swing vale un millón de dólares.
00:13:25Ay, perdón.
00:13:27Jueguen antes que nosotras, si quieren,
00:13:29porque no somos muy buenas.
00:13:31No, es un buen swing,
00:13:33solo que no dobla las rodillas lo suficiente.
00:13:35Soy un golfista profesional,
00:13:37¿me permite?
00:13:38Sí, por favor.
00:13:40Tiene que inclinarse un poco.
00:13:42Sí, exacto, así se siente bien, ¿no?
00:13:44Sujeta mi palo,
00:13:45oh, el palo.
00:13:47Déjenme meter el dedo.
00:13:49Uno, dos, tres.
00:13:51¡Ah!
00:13:52¡No puede ser!
00:13:53¡Ay, por Dios!
00:13:54¿Qué es eso?
00:13:55Gracias.
00:13:56¿Hace cuánto da clases de golf?
00:13:58Desde que me jubilé como astronauta
00:14:00y es lindo también ver por aquí cuerpos celestes.
00:14:02Oye, abuelo,
00:14:04¿crees que ya podríamos empezar a...
00:14:05¿Y eso qué fue?
00:14:07¿Me harías el favor de traérmelo?
00:14:09¿Él acaba de decirle abuelo?
00:14:11¿Quién, Pepe?
00:14:12No, es retrasado.
00:14:14Tiene un retraso mental serio,
00:14:16me cree su abuelo.
00:14:18Es triste, siempre está en su casa dibujando delfines.
00:14:20Antes lo dejábamos salir solo,
00:14:22pero lo violaron tantas veces que,
00:14:24bueno, ya no...
00:14:26Lo tengo.
00:14:28¿Les relleno los vasos?
00:14:30Por supuesto.
00:14:31Ahora vuelvo.
00:14:33Disculpen a mi abuelo,
00:14:35se fue ayer, así que está...
00:14:37Yo soy abogado, no retrasado.
00:14:40Hago cosas importantes,
00:14:42requerimientos bursátiles,
00:14:44actas constitutivas de varias empresas,
00:14:46cosas como esas.
00:14:48Sí, pues creo que nos iremos.
00:14:52Mucho gusto, Pepe.
00:14:53Sí.
00:14:56Mierda.
00:14:58Oye, oye, oye, ¿qué pasó?
00:15:00¿Por qué se va? ¿Qué hiciste?
00:15:02¿Les dije la verdad?
00:15:03Que voy a casarme la próxima semana
00:15:05y que no estás bien porque acabas de enviudar.
00:15:07¿Eres un maldito repelente de vaginas?
00:15:09Esas leonas querían pelear.
00:15:11¿Qué? ¿Querían pelear?
00:15:13Sí, sí.
00:15:14¿Te estás oyendo?
00:15:16Abuelo, ¿estás jugando conmigo?
00:15:18Estoy tratando de oírme.
00:15:20El funeral de la abuela acaba de ser ayer
00:15:22y hoy coqueteas con universitarias.
00:15:24Te masturbas con películas porno.
00:15:26¿Qué sucede?
00:15:28Lo que quiero es coger.
00:15:30Ayúdame, señor.
00:15:31Yo soy un rayo y quiero beberme su sangre.
00:15:33Oye, quiero vomitar.
00:15:35Le fui fiel a tu abuela todos los días durante 40 años,
00:15:37incluso en la menopausia y durante el cáncer.
00:15:39Ella fue el amor de mi vida.
00:15:41La voy a extrañar hasta que me muera.
00:15:43Pero me dijo en su lecho de muerte,
00:15:45rehaz tu vida y diviértete.
00:15:47No he tenido sexo en más de 15 años, Jason,
00:15:49y quiero coger, coger, coger, coger.
00:15:51Ah, entonces todo esto es por eso, todo este asunto.
00:15:53No querías estar conmigo.
00:15:55Querías que te trajera boca para ayudarte a conseguir mujeres.
00:15:57Obviamente fue una mala decisión
00:15:59porque no eres sino una máquina matapitos.
00:16:01¿Qué?
00:16:03Eres una especie de Terminator matapitos enviado del futuro
00:16:05para que los humanos no cojan.
00:16:07Los robots se vieron enviarte en lugar de Arnold Schwarzenegger.
00:16:09Habrías impedido que al padre de John Connor
00:16:11se le parara y jamás habrías sido.
00:16:13Ya, cierra la boca.
00:16:15¿Qué fue lo que te pasó?
00:16:17Recuerdo que en la preparatoria hacías mierda a los demás
00:16:19en el campo de fútbol y hablabas de viajar por el mundo.
00:16:21Ahora eres un oficinista en un maldito despacho
00:16:23y tal vez orina sentado.
00:16:25Abuelo, no sé qué creíste que sería este fin de semana,
00:16:27pero vine para solo una cosa, llevarte a boca.
00:16:29Solo a eso.
00:16:31Pues juega golf, nena matapitos.
00:16:39¿Qué te pasa?
00:16:45¿Quién es tu contador, Ñoño matapitos?
00:16:48Ya basta.
00:16:55¿Aún eres Juanito el matapitos?
00:16:57¿Qué carajo te pasa?
00:16:59¿Por qué la obsesión con mi culo?
00:17:01Suena tu vibrador.
00:17:03No verás nada.
00:17:05No sabes mi contraseña.
00:17:07Parece que tu abuelo se sabe tu cumpleaños.
00:17:09¿Qué?
00:17:11Yo vamos a Daytona.
00:17:13A ver, profesor.
00:17:15No iremos a Daytona porque tengo las llaves del carrito.
00:17:19¿Qué haces?
00:17:21Oye.
00:17:23¿Cómo lo hiciste?
00:17:25¿Vienes o te quedas, Juan Sin Miembro?
00:17:27Abuelo.
00:17:29Abuelo, detente.
00:17:31Abuelo.
00:17:33¿O vienes y te vienes conmigo?
00:17:35¡Detente!
00:17:54Esto es exacto lo que tenía en mente.
00:17:56Esto está muy mal.
00:17:58Cálmate, así podrás estar con la gitana que te gusta.
00:17:59A ella no me gusta.
00:18:01Ah, sí te gusta.
00:18:03Por eso no negaste ser fotógrafo para la revista Time.
00:18:05Tú puedes estar con ella, yo tener sexo vaginal con Lenore
00:18:07y todos contentos.
00:18:09Hasta visitaré al Apestoso, mi amigo del ejército.
00:18:11¿Apestoso?
00:18:13¿En qué bar de la playa están?
00:18:15Ah, carajo, carajo, carajo.
00:18:17¿Qué pasa?
00:18:19Es Meredith. Por favor, tengo que contestar.
00:18:21Que se vaya a la mierda.
00:18:23Abuelo.
00:18:25Antes voy a revisar el nivel de testosterona
00:18:27en tu maldito teléfono.
00:18:29Ya sé, la pongo en el altavoz.
00:18:31No digas nada.
00:18:33Yo no voy a decir ni pío.
00:18:35¡Mis bolas!
00:18:37Ah, oye, ¿quién es ese?
00:18:39Nadie, es que estamos en un restaurante.
00:18:41¿Quién es ese?
00:18:43¿Qué pasa?
00:18:45Ok, pues realmente quiero que publiquen el anuncio de la boda
00:18:47en el sitio web del New York Times
00:18:49antes del almuerzo del viernes.
00:18:51Así que quiero que me tengas opinando el texto.
00:18:53Sí, ¿sabes qué? Ahora no es un buen momento.
00:18:55¿Jason? ¿Lo hacemos ahora, por favor?
00:18:57¿Lo hacemos ahora, por favor?
00:18:59Sí.
00:19:01David E. Brooke.
00:19:03¿Es un socio menor en el despacho jurídico?
00:19:05Pedo de vagina cremosa y sexo anal rudo.
00:19:07¿Quién es ese?
00:19:09No es nadie, es un camarero
00:19:11con síndrome de Tourette's grave, creo.
00:19:13Es que no deja de pasar por aquí,
00:19:15gritando con sus palabras.
00:19:17No sé por qué.
00:19:19Bueno, pero mi tierra está ahora en ventana.
00:19:21Casi no puedo irte.
00:19:23¡El Taitona es la mejor playa!
00:19:25¡El Taitona es la mejor playa!
00:19:27Es cierto, amigo.
00:19:29Escucha, solo estamos pasando por Taitona Beach,
00:19:31camino a la casa de tu abuelo.
00:19:33¡Jason! No sé por qué están ahí,
00:19:35pero más te vale llamarme de la casa de tu abuelo
00:19:37cuando lleguen en la noche, ¿ok?
00:19:39Claro, mi amor, no sabes cómo te amo.
00:19:41¡Mierda!
00:19:43El matrimonio es difícil. ¿Qué contestaron las chicas bonitas?
00:19:45Abuelo, ¿qué les escribiste?
00:19:47Acabo de escribirles.
00:19:49¿Qué les escribiste? ¿Las veremos en la playa?
00:19:51Sí, y agregué el emoji que guiña y saca la lengua.
00:19:53No estoy bromeando, abuelo.
00:19:55Entiende que si no la llamo desde tu casa en Boca
00:19:57esta noche, estoy perdido, abuelo, fastidiado.
00:19:59¿Y quién es tu oficial de libertad condicional?
00:20:01Es Meredith. Así es ella.
00:20:03Se pone como ansiosa cuando no sabe exactamente
00:20:05dónde estoy.
00:20:07Pues sin pánico, es orgánico.
00:20:09Sí, lo sé. Las parejas a menudo pelean,
00:20:11pero es diferente con Meredith.
00:20:13Lo lleva a otro nivel, créeme.
00:20:15Y si no la llamo desde tu casa en Boca, estoy perdido.
00:20:17Sí, bueno, nadie tiene tiempo para eso.
00:20:19Sí, lo sé, está claro.
00:20:21Y por eso no entiendo cómo nos alejamos tanto del plan.
00:20:23No, a veces la vida es una zona de pedos
00:20:25y uno entra bajo su propio riesgo.
00:20:27¿Me estuviste leyendo las camisetas y los vasos
00:20:29diciéndolo como si fuera sabiduría?
00:20:31Trataba de hablar en serio contigo, abuelo.
00:20:33¿Te das cuenta de lo que está en juego?
00:20:35Qué ridículo.
00:20:37Sonríe.
00:20:39Tenías un teléfono todo este maldito tiempo.
00:20:41¿Qué más ignoro de ti?
00:20:43Oye, ¿por qué sabes hablar árabe?
00:20:45Papá nunca me había dicho nada de eso.
00:20:47Eso es porque tu padre no sabe mucho de mí.
00:20:49Como viajé con el ejército la mayor parte de su niñez,
00:20:51nunca fuimos muy cercanos.
00:20:53¿Y por eso no le agradas?
00:20:55¿Nadie trabaja aquí?
00:20:57¡Todo el mundo al puto suelo!
00:20:59¡Es un maldito asalto!
00:21:01¡Todos al suelo, carajo!
00:21:05¡Ay, por Dios!
00:21:07¡Hubieran visto sus caras!
00:21:09Fui por mi almuerzo y otra máscara de caballo.
00:21:11Dejé la mía en la playa el otro día.
00:21:13Creí que te cagarías de miedo, pequeñín.
00:21:15El arma es real.
00:21:18¡Imbécil!
00:21:20¡Tranquilo! Esto es Florida.
00:21:22Todo es un campo de tiro autorizado.
00:21:24¡Es una pared y hay peatones allá afuera!
00:21:26Te repito, esto es Florida.
00:21:28Así que esta gente no importa.
00:21:30¿Qué?
00:21:32Bienvenidos a la tienda de surf de Pam Tam.
00:21:34¿En qué puedo servirles? Yo soy Pam.
00:21:36¿Te llamas Pam?
00:21:38Sí, es un apodo. Porque me llamo Pamela.
00:21:40¡Oigan! ¡No, señores!
00:21:42¡Por supuesto que no!
00:21:44Yo nunca voy jamás a venderles drogas en este establecimiento.
00:21:49No te pedimos vendernos drogas.
00:21:51Ok, excelente. No son policías.
00:21:52En tu caso...
00:21:54Bienvenidos a las drogas.
00:21:56No puede ser.
00:21:58Y como soy buena onda, solo vendo cosas de origen natural.
00:22:00Así que tengo hierba, también hongos, meta...
00:22:02¿Meta? ¿No que era natural?
00:22:04Pues se da naturalmente en el sótano de mi primo en Baltimore.
00:22:06¿Me entienden, verdad?
00:22:08Me llevo esto y esto por lo del disparo.
00:22:10Ay, perdona. Casi te mato.
00:22:12¿Y qué harás? ¿Llorar todo el camino?
00:22:14Básicamente, mandarte a la mierda y gritar.
00:22:16¡Qué pendejo!
00:22:22Hola.
00:22:24Hola.
00:22:26Hola, profesor.
00:22:28Vaya, la mujercita más linda de la playa.
00:22:30Gracias.
00:22:32En realidad, le hablaba a él.
00:22:34Sí, inmediatamente ofensivo.
00:22:36No, no, no.
00:22:38No, no, no.
00:22:40No, no, no.
00:22:42No, no, no.
00:22:44No, no, no.
00:22:46No, no, no.
00:22:48No, no, no.
00:22:50No, no, no.
00:22:52Inmediatamente ofensivo.
00:22:54Voy a regresar al hotel.
00:22:56Trata de no unirte al elenco de renta en el camino.
00:22:58Ah...
00:23:00Tenemos al profesor,
00:23:02Tú tienes al millonario.
00:23:04¿Cómo está el resto del elenco de la isla de Giligan?
00:23:06Estamos bien.
00:23:08Sí, ¿sí?
00:23:10Es todo bien.
00:23:12Ah, qué gusto.
00:23:14Todo perfecto en la isla.
00:23:16Tomas fotos deslavadas porque está encendido
00:23:18el optimizador de luz.
00:23:20No están...
00:23:22in one of those people.
00:23:23Oh yeah? In one of those people who worry about what?
00:23:25About what's important?
00:23:26What? Are you going to hook up to a polar bear?
00:23:28Only if you lend me this.
00:23:29But what is this garbage? A sweater?
00:23:30Yes.
00:23:31But Kichin, are you here to ski?
00:23:33Yes, I arrived skiing to save the world.
00:23:36With overexposed photos.
00:23:39Give me five.
00:23:40I'll smear it on your back.
00:23:41Only if you promise to smear my forehead first.
00:23:43With pleasure.
00:23:46Oops.
00:23:48That almost never happens to me.
00:23:49Really? To me all the time.
00:23:51Guess who just pooped in the water.
00:23:53Ouch!
00:23:54We've been looking for you all day, bitches.
00:23:55Where the hell did you go?
00:23:56Our car broke down in Orlando.
00:23:58Do you ever check your phone?
00:24:00Great.
00:24:01And these clowns?
00:24:02They're our friends we met on the way here.
00:24:05Yes, they're Cody and Brad.
00:24:07They're from the Florida Cross team.
00:24:09Does that guy play the cross?
00:24:11At the conference, brother.
00:24:12Yes, which one?
00:24:13The fucking diabetes conference?
00:24:16We're going to challenge the guys from the University of Georgia
00:24:18who are waiting with us.
00:24:20Oh, my God! The University of Georgia!
00:24:22Are you an owl?
00:24:23I'm afraid so.
00:24:24Well, then you should compete, young man with fists.
00:24:28Well, thank you. We'll do it.
00:24:31Great, excellent. I'll see you upstairs.
00:24:33Oh, yes, I said we'd be there in time.
00:24:36I'll do that. I'll see you there.
00:24:37Yes, do that.
00:24:38Yes. No, sure.
00:24:39Do it.
00:24:40Yes, I'll see you there.
00:24:41Oh, go to the hotel.
00:24:42In the pool.
00:24:44Down, Georgia!
00:24:46Oh, please, we have to go, Grandpa.
00:24:48They have boyfriends.
00:24:49Those two idiots are not your boyfriends.
00:24:51They're about to graduate.
00:24:52They shit themselves and take as much as they can before the boat sinks.
00:24:55Have you ever been to a spring break?
00:24:56No, I didn't go to a spring break because I was studying.
00:24:59Besides, I can't drink alcohol like I used to, Grandpa.
00:25:02When I swallow, I don't feel like vomiting.
00:25:04Feel like vomiting?
00:25:05Yes.
00:25:06You'll swallow beer, not a horse's penis, Jason.
00:25:08Let's go.
00:25:20Yes!
00:25:21One out of every three of these girls has herpes,
00:25:23even if you don't notice it.
00:25:24Oh, heaven, stop crying.
00:25:25It's a college party, girl.
00:25:27Calm down.
00:25:28Yes, there you go.
00:25:30I'll have a beer.
00:25:32What do you want, Flor de Tec?
00:25:33Do you want a drink?
00:25:34A little of the purple drink?
00:25:35A little of that fucking purple puñetera drink to flirt.
00:25:40Who the hell are you?
00:25:46This is good.
00:25:50It's super cool.
00:25:52Right?
00:26:05Sir, before we start, would you like to compete with a white wine with soda?
00:26:09Maybe Pinot Noir?
00:26:15I'm going to beat you, old man, because no one drinks like me.
00:26:18I can imagine.
00:26:19You've been drinking Semen de Bra for years.
00:26:23Let's do it.
00:26:48Cheers!
00:26:49Cheers!
00:26:50Cheers!
00:26:51Cheers!
00:26:52Cheers!
00:26:53Cheers!
00:26:54Cheers!
00:26:55Cheers!
00:26:56Cheers!
00:26:57Cheers!
00:26:58Cheers!
00:26:59Cheers!
00:27:00Cheers!
00:27:01Cheers!
00:27:02Cheers!
00:27:03Cheers!
00:27:04Cheers!
00:27:05Cheers!
00:27:06Cheers!
00:27:07Cheers!
00:27:08Cheers!
00:27:09Cheers!
00:27:10Cheers!
00:27:11Cheers!
00:27:12Cheers!
00:27:13Cheers!
00:27:14Cheers!
00:27:15Cheers!
00:27:16Cheers!
00:27:17Cheers!
00:27:18Cheers!
00:27:19Cheers!
00:27:21Cheers!
00:27:23Cheers!
00:27:24Cheers!
00:27:25Cheers!
00:27:26Cheers!
00:27:28Cheers!
00:27:39Bye, man.
00:27:40Bye.
00:27:41Bye, man, see you later.
00:27:45What's going on?
00:27:46We've had offers to study professionally in Europe,
00:27:50but a lot of agents want us to start modeling, so...
00:27:54Are we talking about this obese asshole?
00:27:57Guys, you have to come and see this.
00:28:16Oh my God! The team won!
00:28:18We have to celebrate by buying local drugs
00:28:22to a respectable local drug dealer.
00:28:25Hey, what are you doing here?
00:28:28I'm selling drugs, old man, to pay for my son's high school.
00:28:31That's being honest.
00:28:33You touch my face a lot.
00:28:35You touch my face a lot, man.
00:28:36Smoke a little of this, you'll relax.
00:28:38What's that?
00:28:39A cigarette.
00:28:40I smoke weed!
00:28:42Of course, why not?
00:28:43I love you!
00:28:46Yes! Oh, tremendous heat!
00:28:55Good thing you didn't smoke this one, man.
00:28:57This is crack.
00:28:58What?
00:28:59Oh, yes.
00:29:00This one has...
00:29:01Oh, wait a minute.
00:29:03Maybe that one is crack and this one is weed.
00:29:06Wait.
00:29:07What have you done, man?
00:29:09Wait.
00:29:10Which one has crack?
00:29:12Okay, I know what I did.
00:29:14Don't be scared.
00:29:15Sorry to worry you.
00:29:16You won't believe this.
00:29:17Both of them have crack.
00:29:19What?
00:29:20And the amount you smoked is likely to kill you in half an hour.
00:29:24So I smoked crack?
00:29:25Yes, but not much.
00:29:28I just smoked crack.
00:29:32Hey, I smoked crack!
00:29:35No!
00:29:37He smoked crack!
00:29:39He smoked crack!
00:29:40He smoked crack!
00:29:41He smoked crack!
00:29:42I told you.
00:29:43He smoked crack!
00:29:44He smoked crack!
00:29:45He smoked crack!
00:29:46He smoked crack!
00:29:47I'm okay, just a bit drunk.
00:29:51They killed you!
00:29:52Everybody loves crack!
00:29:55You see, I love crack.
00:29:56I work hard, I love crack.
00:29:58We should help them, don't you think?
00:30:00Fuck you, Sonic!
00:30:02Wow!
00:30:04Quieto!
00:30:05Ya, te piqué!
00:30:08Ya, ya encontré a mi reina.
00:30:12Okay, ayúdeme.
00:30:17Jason!
00:30:21Jason!
00:30:22Jason!
00:30:25Jason!
00:30:33¡Voy a vivir para siempre!
00:30:41¡Que empiecen!
00:30:56No hay trabajo.
00:30:59Uno, dos, tres.
00:31:01Hola.
00:31:02¿Dónde mierda estabas?
00:31:05Llegamos a casa del abuelo más tarde de lo que esperábamos y mi cargador del teléfono no funcionaba.
00:31:10Perdimos la oportunidad de publicarlo de nuestra boda en el Times.
00:31:13¿Dónde estás?
00:31:14¿Estás cerca?
00:31:17Cielo, el abuelo estuvo muy alterado anoche.
00:31:19De modo que estoy empezando el día un poco tarde.
00:31:23Quiero mostrarte los ramos de las damas, así que hablemos en FaceTime.
00:31:26Claro.
00:31:27Amor, la recepción no es buena en casa del abuelo.
00:31:29¡Eso no vete ese carajo!
00:31:30Un segundo, ahora me conecto.
00:31:32Mierda, mierda, mierda.
00:31:35¿Tienes arena en la cara?
00:31:37Esa serrín porque estuve ayudando al abuelo en la cochera y naturalmente me cayó esa serrín al ayudarlo en mi cara.
00:31:43Hola, cariño.
00:31:44Jason.
00:31:45¿Mamá?
00:31:46¿Papá?
00:31:47¿Tienes algo escrito en la cara?
00:31:50Trabajé en mis botas hasta tarde y...
00:31:54Y me quedé dormido y la tinta me manchó.
00:31:56Me manchó la cara, sí.
00:31:57Sí, debió pasarte eso exactamente.
00:32:00Meredith nos llamó porque no supo de ti en toda la noche.
00:32:03Ya llegó el rabino para trabajar en los botos.
00:32:06Oh, cool top, Jason.
00:32:08Hola.
00:32:09Shalom.
00:32:10No, Jason, en serio.
00:32:11¿Qué tienes en la frente?
00:32:13¿Es una esvástica?
00:32:15¿De tenis?
00:32:16No, no, para nada.
00:32:17¿Como las aspas de un molino de ejaculaciones?
00:32:21No, no, no, no, no.
00:32:22Es un efecto de FaceTime.
00:32:23Todos los chicos actualmente la usan.
00:32:25Mire, esta es de Hanukkah.
00:32:28No me gusta tanto como el de la esvástica hecha de pitos.
00:32:31Bien, hablemos de los botos para la boda.
00:32:34Jason, ¿qué tal si empiezas por decirnos todo aquello que te complace de Meredith?
00:32:39Sí, bueno, ¿por dónde empezar?
00:32:41Ella, ella es...
00:32:42Hola.
00:32:45Hola, abejita zumbona.
00:32:48¿Qué?
00:32:49Si no se te ocurre nada, recuerda su físico, perro.
00:32:51¿Puedo tocar a la abejita?
00:32:52Me encanta que ella...
00:32:53No, no puedes tocar a mi.
00:32:55Amo la forma en que ella...
00:32:59¿Qué haces?
00:33:01No puedes tocar.
00:33:02La abejita se ve muy peluda.
00:33:04¿Qué fue lo que dijo?
00:33:05Sí, sí, sí, es que no sé por dónde empezar.
00:33:07Quiero que beses a la abeja.
00:33:09¿Qué?
00:33:10Quiero acariciar a la abeja.
00:33:11No puedes acariciarla antes.
00:33:12Quiero darle un beso a la abeja.
00:33:13No, no puedes besarla.
00:33:15Me encanta como me besa.
00:33:18Oye.
00:33:19Ay, mamá.
00:33:20Oye.
00:33:21Tengo que irme.
00:33:22Perdón, te amo.
00:33:23Bye.
00:33:24¡Oye!
00:33:25Oye, yo...
00:33:26Te dije que no te alejaras.
00:33:27Lo siento.
00:33:28Mire.
00:33:29Me dejó acariciarla.
00:33:30No, no, no, no, no.
00:33:31Espera.
00:33:32Él habla de una abeja.
00:33:33De una abeja, pero de peluche.
00:33:35¿Qué abeja?
00:33:36Es que aquí había una abeja.
00:33:37Era muy suave.
00:33:38Me dejó besarla.
00:33:39No, no es cierto.
00:33:40Nunca la besaste.
00:33:41¿De qué estás hablando?
00:33:42Él no, él no la besó.
00:33:43¡Maldito!
00:33:44¡Ay, eso estuvo divertido!
00:33:53¡Ay!
00:34:02Por favor, por amor de Dios.
00:34:04¿Me daría un pantalón?
00:34:06Por favor.
00:34:07Ay, disculpe.
00:34:08¿Cuánto lo siento?
00:34:09Por supuesto, sí.
00:34:11Enseguida voy corriendo hacia usted.
00:34:13¿Los quiere de vestir o deportivos?
00:34:16Cualquier cosa está bien.
00:34:17¿Sabe qué?
00:34:18De vestir.
00:34:19¿De vestir?
00:34:20Sí, por favor.
00:34:21Ah, perfecto.
00:34:22¿De almuerzo?
00:34:23¿Gustaría un sándwich?
00:34:24Sí, por favor.
00:34:25Sería fabuloso.
00:34:26¿De jamón?
00:34:27¿Pavo?
00:34:28De pavo está excelente.
00:34:29Es curioso porque yo también prefiero el pavo.
00:34:30Se lo agradezco mucho.
00:34:32Pavo.
00:34:33Ok, correcto.
00:34:34Por último, ¿prefiere que lo viole el hombre con edad mental de siete años o quiere que lo desnude y lo use como pañal humano el mismo hombre?
00:34:45Avíseme a qué hora le conviene porque estamos en la puta cárcel.
00:34:48Siéntese.
00:34:52Voy a buscar algo para desayunar porque tengo bastante hambre.
00:34:57Muy bien.
00:34:58Gary, ya me harté.
00:34:59Es tarde y debo abrir la tienda, amigo.
00:35:01No lo sé, hombre.
00:35:02Trataste de vender peyote en una secundaria.
00:35:05Bueno, no sé si podré conseguirte la hormona de crecimiento que me pediste.
00:35:10¿Para ponerte fuerte, dijiste?
00:35:12¿Recuerdas?
00:35:13Aunque te ves muy bien.
00:35:15De acuerdo, te saqué de ahí.
00:35:16¿Qué hace?
00:35:17¿Por qué le permites salir?
00:35:18Gary, Gary, Gary.
00:35:19Él fue el que me vendió el crack.
00:35:20Él me hizo esto.
00:35:21¿Puedes pagarme ahora?
00:35:22Los soplones siempre la pagan.
00:35:23Sí.
00:35:24Cierra la boca.
00:35:25Sí, a los soplones les va mal.
00:35:26Te creí, mi amigo.
00:35:27No te metas con mi amigo, padre.
00:35:28Sí.
00:35:29Nos vemos luego, Gary.
00:35:30Adiós, amigo.
00:35:31Y si me pagas el dinero que me debes, ¿no estaría mal?
00:35:32Hola.
00:35:34¿Qué hay de bueno?
00:35:35La cosa está así.
00:35:36Sí.
00:35:37Me voy a largar de aquí.
00:35:38Sí, claro.
00:35:39Cuando vine, traía drogas en una bolsa.
00:35:40Sería estupendo que pudiera irme con las drogas de la bolsa.
00:35:43¿Sabes qué?
00:35:44Yo quiero lo que te haga feliz.
00:35:45Ay, gracias.
00:35:46Ahí está.
00:35:48¿Ya las tienes?
00:35:49Sí, se están poniendo.
00:35:50Trabajando.
00:35:51Se está ejercitando.
00:35:52¿De acuerdo?
00:35:53Sí.
00:35:54Hasta luego.
00:35:55Bye.
00:35:56Bang.
00:35:57Es uno de los buenos, ¿no?
00:35:59Ok, escuchen.
00:36:01Señores, lamento muchísimo esta confusión,
00:36:03pero oigan, por favor,
00:36:05debo decirles que soy abogado
00:36:07y que conozco mis derechos
00:36:08y que sé que puedo hacer una llamada.
00:36:10Ah, wow.
00:36:11¿Su teléfono es este?
00:36:12Sí, es mi teléfono.
00:36:13¿Su teléfono es este?
00:36:14¿Y qué tal si tomamos una foto?
00:36:16Y el vagina chat.
00:36:17Sí, una para el vagina chat.
00:36:18Ojalá tenga una lente gran angular.
00:36:20Oh, wow.
00:36:24No es cierto.
00:36:27Acaban de pagar su fianza.
00:36:29Dale a este pervertido un pantalón.
00:36:31Muy bien.
00:36:32Estos son unos pantalones de
00:36:34víctimas de homicidios de un orgía
00:36:36de los noventas que salió mal.
00:36:38Los hay manchados de semen
00:36:39o manchados de sangre.
00:36:41Escoja usted.
00:36:42¿Cuál prefiere?
00:36:44¿Sangre?
00:36:45Semen, entonces.
00:36:49Hola, ahí estás.
00:36:50Deja de mirarme las tetas.
00:36:51No te atrevas ni siquiera a hablarme.
00:36:53Oye, sé que las cosas resultaron caóticas,
00:36:55pero estoy tan cerca con Lenore.
00:36:57¿Qué mierda te pasa, carajo?
00:36:59Estoy a punto de contraer matrimonio, abuelo.
00:37:01En una semana,
00:37:02con una chica judía
00:37:03y acabo de despertarme en la cárcel.
00:37:05Y con un montón de penes en la frente.
00:37:07Con forma desbástica.
00:37:10¿De qué es una esfálica?
00:37:13¿Qué?
00:37:14Es un juego de palabras.
00:37:15Ah, un juego de palabras.
00:37:17De palabras.
00:37:20Juega con estas.
00:37:22Voy a dejarte
00:37:23en la casa de tu amigo, el veterano.
00:37:25Que seas imbécil el que te lleve a boca.
00:37:27Porque ya me harté de ti.
00:37:31¿Qué mierda estás viendo?
00:37:33No puedo evitar verte las tetas.
00:37:37¿Y qué mierda pasa contigo?
00:37:43Apestoso tuvo más muertes confirmadas
00:37:45que todos en nuestro pelotón en Vietnam.
00:37:47118.
00:37:48Ya cierra el puto pico.
00:37:51¿Qué es este lugar?
00:37:52No lo sé, ni me importa.
00:37:54Al menos, entra conmigo.
00:37:55Veamos si sí vive aquí.
00:37:57Después de ti.
00:37:59El nieto del año.
00:38:02Ahí están las cenizas de tu abuela.
00:38:06La enterraste. ¡Vete al diablo!
00:38:10Oh, well.
00:38:11Better late than never.
00:38:13¡Sí! ¡Mándalos a la mierda, Al!
00:38:15¡Hijo de puta!
00:38:18¿Apestoso?
00:38:19¿Qué mierda haces aquí, Dick?
00:38:23¿Esto?
00:38:25Por una falla empática.
00:38:29¿Quién es la lesbiana?
00:38:31Es mi nieto, Jason.
00:38:32¿Ah?
00:38:33Sí.
00:38:34Lo trajiste para hacer tijeras conmigo.
00:38:36Eso es muy ofensivo para las lesbianas.
00:38:38Lo lamento mucho, Katie Lang.
00:38:41¡Es hora del bingo!
00:38:42Vamos.
00:38:43Apestoso, tenemos que sacarte de aquí. Vámonos.
00:38:45Oye, me queda un puto mes de vida, Dick.
00:38:48No quiero que me recuerdes así, amigo.
00:38:51Quiero que me recuerdes como un guerrero.
00:38:53Por favor, déjame...
00:38:55Pero, apestoso, no puedo...
00:38:56No, no, no, déjame terminar, Dick.
00:38:58Déjame a tu hermoso nieto lesbiano para que me la chupe hasta morir.
00:39:06Se acabó para mí, Dick.
00:39:09Oye, lo único que quiero es jugar bingo.
00:39:14Vete.
00:39:16¿Está listo?
00:39:21¡Bingo!
00:39:29Lamento lo de tu amigo, abuelo.
00:39:32Solo se reduce a esto.
00:39:35Incluso antes de morir.
00:39:37Uno deja de vivir y todo es una pésima copia de la realidad.
00:39:46Tenemos que volver.
00:39:48Sí, lo sé.
00:39:51Vámonos a casa.
00:39:52No a Atlanta. A Daytona.
00:39:56Tengo que cogerme a esa chica.
00:39:58¿En serio, abuelo?
00:39:59Sí, tengo que cogérmela.
00:40:01Abuelo, solo estás deprimido y confundido ahora por lo de la abuela.
00:40:05Tu abuela quería que yo hiciera esto.
00:40:07¿Qué?
00:40:08Sí, dijo al morir que debía sobreponerme y vivir mi vida como yo quisiera.
00:40:11Y justo ahora, ¿sabes qué quiero hacer?
00:40:13Quiero que esa universitaria me chupe el pito.
00:40:15¿Y eso qué logrará para ti?
00:40:17¿Hará que te vuelvas a sentir joven de nuevo?
00:40:19Sí, ¿qué hay de malo en eso?
00:40:21¿En sentirse joven?
00:40:23¿Qué me queda? ¿Una esposa muerta?
00:40:25¿Amigos que agonizan? ¿Unos cuantos años buenos con mucha suerte?
00:40:27¿Y sabes qué? Eso me da mucho miedo.
00:40:30Sí.
00:40:32Oye, no espero que lo entiendas.
00:40:34Eres joven.
00:40:36Faltan muchos años para que te asomes a ese abismo.
00:40:38Pero como yo lo veo,
00:40:40tener sexo con esa chica es mi última lucha.
00:40:42Y sin ti no puedo lograrlo.
00:40:44Así que te lo pido, por favor, Jason.
00:40:46Quédate un día más para que yo lo logre.
00:40:50Por favor.
00:40:56¡Muy bien! ¡Ven con a ti!
00:40:58¡Listos para una competencia!
00:40:59¡Estoy hablando de canales!
00:41:01¡Que suban a escena!
00:41:03¡A mostrar músculos!
00:41:05¡Sí!
00:41:07Sí, llegaré mañana, te lo prometo.
00:41:09Sí, ya sé que la cena puede ser importante para el despacho.
00:41:11Espera, tengo otra llamada.
00:41:13Puede ser Mervy.
00:41:15Sí, bye.
00:41:17Hola.
00:41:19Soy yo. Me acaban de meter el pulgar en el culo.
00:41:21¿Qué?
00:41:23Sí, estaba de pie hablando por teléfono
00:41:25y alguien llegó por detrás y me metió el pulgar en el culo.
00:41:27¿No viste quién era?
00:41:29¡Mierda! ¡Ya deja de hacer eso!
00:41:31¿Cómo está todo en casa?
00:41:33¿Tú qué crees?
00:41:35Bien, vámonos.
00:41:37¡Ven!
00:41:39¡Top Gold está en escena!
00:41:41¡Aquí están Maverick
00:41:43y la versión gorda de Goose!
00:41:45¡Ya tenemos algún procediente!
00:41:47¡Esto es gol! ¡Esto es gol!
00:41:49¡Ella quiere! ¡Ella!
00:41:51¡¿Quién aceptará este reto?!
00:41:53¿Puede hacerme lo que quiera hoy en la noche?
00:41:55Bueno, acepto.
00:41:56¡Ella!
00:41:58No, no, no. ¡No puedes dormir en tomita cuerpo,
00:42:00o sea, anoche tu cuerpo es mucho mejor que el de Jodie,
00:42:02tu cuerpo seguro es de bien.
00:42:04El de este pendejo de directora.
00:42:07¡NANCIA NO SE PERMITE EN EL ESCENARIO!
00:42:09¡Tú eres tu primero...
00:42:11No, a la mierda.
00:42:13¡Al escenario! ¡Al escenario!
00:42:15¡Al escenario! ¡Al escenario!
00:42:17¡Al escenario! ¡Al escenario!
00:42:19¡Al escenario! ¡Al escenario!
00:42:21¡Al escenario! ¡Al escenario!
00:42:23¡Al escenario!
00:42:26And now they face off against the sinister old man and his lesbian daughter!
00:42:32Very good, Aikonavich! Are you ready to compete?
00:42:363... 2... 1... Start!
00:42:41It's hard to take off the jacket, fat man.
00:42:43Ah, how about...
00:42:45Ah, he's stuck!
00:42:47It's like the vaccine of the Mother Teresa! Old and tight!
00:42:52Look at that. It's the Sanguei Circus.
00:42:56Now what?
00:42:59Oh, the old man fell!
00:43:02Or does he do push-ups with just one hand?
00:43:05Oh, my God!
00:43:07And the lesbian daughter joins the action!
00:43:09Coincidentally, I know she smoked crack last night!
00:43:11Two push-ups by the devil's candy!
00:43:14Unbelievable!
00:43:18Your turn, you two.
00:43:20You'll get it now, Topgolf team!
00:43:23And listen, friends!
00:43:24Don't forget to visit the Tampan Resort in the city,
00:43:27where I sell beach towels for $50 a bag,
00:43:31a solar blocker for $10 a bag,
00:43:34and I also sell methamphetamines!
00:43:39They just got married!
00:43:41They have diagram cataracts!
00:43:43The crowd is cheering for Topgolf team!
00:43:46Grandpa, I'll take care of this one.
00:43:48Muscular pose for the three of us.
00:43:501... 2... 3...
00:43:54Oh, I think he just pooped!
00:43:57No, that's not true.
00:43:59He's already giving me money.
00:44:00I think I'll have to change his diaper.
00:44:11I don't even have the microphone in my hand.
00:44:17I have an idea.
00:44:19Remember what we used to do when we were kids?
00:44:21Yes.
00:44:231... 2...
00:44:26Wait, what's that?
00:44:28What's going on?
00:44:30Oh my God, what am I seeing?
00:44:34I'm shocked!
00:44:35Of course I am!
00:44:37It's incredible!
00:44:39They're making history in this competition!
00:44:41Like the show?
00:44:43Yes, like the show, brother.
00:44:45Yes, like the show, brother!
00:44:47Like the show!
00:44:48Like the show!
00:44:50Like the show!
00:44:52This is incredible!
00:44:53Take out your cameras!
00:44:55Upload it to the internet!
00:44:56This is going to be viral!
00:44:58Oh no.
00:44:59Let's take a picture of that!
00:45:01What the hell are you doing?
00:45:03I can't do it.
00:45:05Me?
00:45:06The winners of the athletic competition!
00:45:08What happened? Where are you going?
00:45:10Wait, gentlemen!
00:45:11Jason!
00:45:13You can't leave me here like this!
00:45:14What happened? We were winning.
00:45:16Because I'm a lawyer.
00:45:17I can't let them take pictures of me doing something like this.
00:45:19Can you imagine if the office saw that?
00:45:20The winners of the athletic competition
00:45:23are these idiots!
00:45:27There's no day in my career when I'm not in danger.
00:45:29Grandpa, what are you doing?
00:45:31I'm removing the regulator from the pneumatic propulsion system.
00:45:33Give me a beer.
00:45:35Tell me what you were doing in the army.
00:45:37I already told you I was a mechanic.
00:45:39You're lying.
00:45:41You speak Arabic.
00:45:42You turned on the police car.
00:45:44Tell me the truth.
00:45:46Okay.
00:45:47I was in the special forces.
00:45:48I destroyed insurgents, refugees, enemies from Vietnam to Iraq.
00:45:50Now give me a beer.
00:45:52That's it!
00:45:54Thank you all for coming!
00:45:55How are you?
00:45:57Watch out!
00:46:02Yes!
00:46:03You saved me!
00:46:05We'll meet in Colin's room.
00:46:06I stole this from him.
00:46:08There's nothing to see here.
00:46:09The police will be here soon.
00:46:11No, no, no.
00:46:13I'm his father, so that's why I say
00:46:14to keep him very sedated.
00:46:15But don't worry about disconnecting him if necessary.
00:46:18Thank you, Doctor.
00:46:20Okay.
00:46:22They're in the hospital until tomorrow.
00:46:23The room is ours for today.
00:46:26Look at these damn people.
00:46:28How was lunch at Hitler's house?
00:46:30Hey, Grandpa.
00:46:31Who else in the family knows you were
00:46:33in the special forces or something?
00:46:35No one.
00:46:36Now that your grandmother passed away.
00:46:38Your father stopped talking to me
00:46:39before my missions were declassified,
00:46:41so I always thought I was a military mechanic.
00:46:43And don't you think they could get along better
00:46:45if you told them?
00:46:50Hey, come here.
00:46:51Let's see how you look. Come here.
00:46:57To begin with,
00:46:58no one wears a fucking white belt.
00:47:00Only white belts are worn by the very stupid
00:47:02in karate and the very stupid in life.
00:47:04Take that fucking belt off.
00:47:06And get rid of that fucking white polo shirt
00:47:08and khaki pants with tweezers.
00:47:10You're going out with women,
00:47:11you're not going to fuck an oilman
00:47:12in a damn golf course.
00:47:14Put this on.
00:47:17Well, in case you forgot,
00:47:18I don't have underwear for last night.
00:47:20Put it on. I'll turn around.
00:47:24Nice cock.
00:47:25Oh, Grandpa.
00:47:27It's a good cock.
00:47:28You have your grandfather's cock,
00:47:30not the thick one or the long one,
00:47:31but the same style.
00:47:33It's good to know.
00:47:34Luckily, you're not your father.
00:47:36He has his mother's cock.
00:47:37But what a face.
00:47:39Now put on your pants.
00:47:42My life is a blast.
00:47:45I'm loving it all.
00:47:47And who knows how long this will last.
00:47:53It's true. It's Meredith.
00:47:54Don't answer.
00:47:56The rehearsal will be this weekend.
00:47:57No calls.
00:47:59For one night.
00:48:00Stop worrying about your wedding.
00:48:02Please.
00:48:03Two smart, beautiful college girls
00:48:05at the peak of their sexual ability
00:48:06are waiting for us in one of the great
00:48:08night clubs in Florida.
00:48:09Worry about them.
00:48:12Okay.
00:48:32I don't think you're very popular here, Grandpa.
00:48:34Hey, you're the one who should be careful.
00:48:36Or you'll get the Oreo.
00:48:38The Oreo?
00:48:39It's when a white man gets two blacks,
00:48:40you're the middle cream.
00:48:54Let's party.
00:48:56Hi.
00:48:57I'm glad you came.
00:48:59We have to get drunk.
00:49:00My dad hates me.
00:49:03Whatever.
00:49:09Let's go.
00:49:14You're going to get pregnant.
00:49:18Oh, my God.
00:49:19It's so cold.
00:49:21It's so cold.
00:49:22It's so cold.
00:49:24It's so cold.
00:49:25I made a spot for you.
00:49:27You, you, you, you.
00:49:28You, you, you, you.
00:49:30Look at here.
00:49:31Look at here.
00:49:33Look at here.
00:49:34Look at here.
00:49:36Look at here.
00:49:37Look at here.
00:49:39Look at here.
00:49:40Look at here.
00:50:06Come on, come on, come on.
00:50:07Come on.
00:50:09¡Sí!
00:50:10¡Dámelo!
00:50:11¿Qué es esto?
00:50:12¡Márgate!
00:50:13¡Oye, oye, oye!
00:50:14¡Deja en paz a mi legítimo hijo negro!
00:50:17Nada más quería bailar con él.
00:50:19Pues no quiere bailar.
00:50:20Tal vez tú quieras bailar en lugar de él.
00:50:22Yo no quiero bailar.
00:50:23¡Cornel Sanders!
00:50:24¡Oye!
00:50:25Está bien, está bien, está bien.
00:50:26No ensuciemos este sitio, por favor.
00:50:28Es un altar. Sinatra cantó aquí.
00:50:30¿Salimos?
00:50:36Esperemos bien.
00:50:38¿Cómo podríamos estar bien?
00:50:39¡Mira su banda!
00:50:41Nuestra banda también es buena.
00:50:44No tenemos banda.
00:50:46No tenemos banda.
00:50:48¿Vas a oír una banda?
00:50:49¿Qué?
00:50:50¡Odio las bandas!
00:50:53No lo hagas.
00:50:54Como yo.
00:50:55Tendré que pelear con todos.
00:50:56Tendrás que recibir el primer golpe.
00:50:57¿Qué?
00:50:58¡Viene él!
00:50:59¡Va primero!
00:51:00¡Igual!
00:51:02¿Te gustó muchachito blanco?
00:51:04¡Oye, pendejo!
00:51:05¿Qué te pasa?
00:51:06¿Quieres ser la siguiente, perra?
00:51:07¡Oye!
00:51:09¿Creí que yo era el siguiente?
00:51:24Dile que te perdone por burlarte de él por ser gay.
00:51:28¡Perdóname por burlarme de ti por ser gay!
00:51:30Dile que naciste en una época distinta,
00:51:32pero que ya aprendiste a no juzgar a las personas con base en sus preferencias sexuales,
00:51:36y que si tuvieras que ser gay con alguien por alguna razón,
00:51:39como impedir un ataque terrorista o algo así,
00:51:41lo serías con él.
00:51:43¿Qué?
00:51:45Dile.
00:51:47Si por algo tuviera que ser gay con un hombre
00:51:50para impedir un ataque terrorista, sería contigo.
00:51:56Disculpa aceptada.
00:51:59Muy bien.
00:52:01Lárgate de aquí o voy a usar mi otro brazo.
00:52:06Esto no ha terminado.
00:52:10Ya lárgate y llévate a tus putitas.
00:52:18Ah, qué mal.
00:52:19Que Lenore terminó bañada en su vómito.
00:52:21Hoy habría tenido sexo con ella.
00:52:24Sí.
00:52:25Incluso me la habría cogido si tuviera vómito en el frente,
00:52:28pero también se ensució la espalda y me habría sentido mal.
00:52:32Todavía hay caballeros.
00:52:35Me gustó cómo tomaste ese puñetazo.
00:52:37A veces no queda más que recibir el golpe de frente.
00:52:40Y todo es más fácil después.
00:52:47De opreso liber.
00:52:48También está en tu navaja. ¿Qué significa?
00:52:51¿Oigan?
00:52:53Las luces se apagan a medianoche.
00:52:55No intenten cruzar el lago nadando hasta la tienda de las niñas, ¿eh?
00:52:58Adiós.
00:52:59Adiós.
00:53:04¿Sabes?
00:53:05Voy a buscar algo que hacer con Shadia mañana
00:53:08para darles al Lenore y a ti tiempo a solas.
00:53:15Siento que somos un estorbo para ustedes.
00:53:17Sí.
00:53:18Seguramente.
00:53:19¿Pero qué?
00:53:20¿Te desnudaste?
00:53:22Es la mejor forma de dormir.
00:53:24¿Por qué?
00:53:26Lo aprendí en Uganda de los umpalu.
00:53:28Pues que tu umpalo no me vuelva a tocar o dormirás en el piso.
00:53:33De acuerdo.
00:53:35Bien.
00:53:47Jason.
00:53:50¿Pero qué carajo?
00:53:51¡Ay, por Dios!
00:53:58¿Y por qué esa gente quiere talar los árboles?
00:54:00Para hacer un complejo inmenso y vulgar de diversiones
00:54:03con simuladores de manejo y armas láser, esas cosas.
00:54:06¿Armas láser?
00:54:07Sí.
00:54:08Me encantan esos juegos.
00:54:09¿Cuándo lo inauguran?
00:54:10Qué lindo. Gracias.
00:54:11¡Shadia!
00:54:12¡Hola, Chris!
00:54:13¡Ay, por Dios!
00:54:14Tus fotos de la marcha fueron estupendas.
00:54:16Gracias.
00:54:17Sí, es la verdad.
00:54:18Me gustan.
00:54:19No es un hakizak. Esa es una marca.
00:54:21Esta es una pelota de cañón orgánico.
00:54:23¿Sí?
00:54:24¿Qué hace aquí un putito partidario de las armas láser?
00:54:26Solo soy un amigo de Shadia.
00:54:27Es mi amigo.
00:54:28Está estupenda. ¿Es una pelota de baile?
00:54:30¡Pero qué tonto!
00:54:32¡Pelota de baile! ¡No es cierto!
00:54:35¡Qué idiota!
00:54:36Es un orbe de acrílico para malabares.
00:54:38¡Cretino!
00:54:39Bueno, creo que nos veremos el fin de semana.
00:54:41Desde luego.
00:54:42¿Sí? Ok.
00:54:43Seguro.
00:54:44Adiós.
00:54:45Adiós.
00:54:46Ok, amigo.
00:54:48Qué idiota, ¿no?
00:54:49Oye, Gris.
00:54:50Hey.
00:54:51No toques eso. Es de láser.
00:54:53Perdón.
00:54:54Son buenas personas, lo juro.
00:54:55¿Puedo ver?
00:54:56Sí.
00:54:57¿A dónde irás con tan buenas personas?
00:54:59Vamos a ir a la costa y rentaremos un barco un año.
00:55:02¿Un año?
00:55:03Sí.
00:55:04¿Y para qué?
00:55:05Documentar los efectos del cambio climático en el océano.
00:55:09¿No deberías graduarte el fin de semana?
00:55:12Sí.
00:55:14A mí me parece que huyes de algo.
00:55:17Por favor, ¿no has tenido que hacer sacrificios para ser un gran fotógrafo?
00:55:21Pues sí, pero...
00:55:24es diferente.
00:55:27Mira esto.
00:55:33Odio cómo me veo en las fotos.
00:55:35¿Por qué?
00:55:37Eres hermosa.
00:55:40¿Ves?
00:55:44No.
00:55:55Es Bradley.
00:55:56¿Hola?
00:55:58Oye, espera, cálmate.
00:56:00¿Qué?
00:56:01Sí, sí, ya, vamos para allá.
00:56:03¿Qué sucede?
00:56:04Hay que irnos.
00:56:06Entonces salí del baño.
00:56:07¿Por qué?
00:56:08Y los negros del centro nocturno rodeaban a Lenore y al Dr. Richards.
00:56:11Y así como que les gritaban y los amenazaban
00:56:13y luego como que los raptaron.
00:56:15Y creo que uno estaba hermano.
00:56:17¿Sabes a dónde se los llevaron?
00:56:18No. Oye, que estaban hospedados en el Tillman, pero es lo único que sé.
00:56:21Ok, al Tillman.
00:56:22Vamos.
00:56:23¡Dúrrele!
00:56:24¡Carajo!
00:56:29¿Qué?
00:56:31Huele a marihuana.
00:56:37¿Y un malde para qué?
00:56:38No lo sé.
00:56:40Muy bien.
00:56:41A las tres, ¿listos?
00:56:43Uno, dos, tres.
00:56:55¿Qué pasa aquí?
00:56:56Cosas epauleteras.
00:57:03¡Así se hace, muchachos!
00:57:06¿Y la manifestación?
00:57:07Estuvo bien.
00:57:09They are Lamar, Pequeñin, El Grandulón, Murray Pelosnecios, and of course, you already know Tiny Donut.
00:57:17That black guy is crazy, man.
00:57:19That word that starts with N, can I say it or not?
00:57:21You can say it if we allow you to say it.
00:57:23That is never, you should never say it, under no circumstances.
00:57:33It's not true, it's true.
00:57:35What's going on?
00:57:37Do you think these guys wanted to kill you?
00:57:39Red Lebanese.
00:57:41I have a little bit of my time in the Middle East.
00:57:43If you share a little bit of this shit, you start with yours in whatever.
00:57:47Try it.
00:57:48Now you smoke weed?
00:57:49Hey, this is the way to addiction, grandfather.
00:57:51Well, lead him to prove that you are a fag.
00:57:53Smoke.
00:57:54Hey, G, let's go for a walk.
00:57:56Yes, well, let's go.
00:57:57Yes, let's go.
00:57:58Where?
00:58:07I'm calling up the homies and I'm asking you all.
00:58:09Which park are you all playing basketball?
00:58:12Get me on the court and I'm trusting.
00:58:14Last week, fucking brown guy tripled up.
00:58:17Can I say it?
00:58:18Say it, say it, say it.
00:58:19No, no, no.
00:58:20Say it.
00:58:21Say it with a shit.
00:58:22Freaking niggas everywhere, life in check.
00:58:27I can't believe it.
00:58:28Today was a good day.
00:58:30I want to fuck him tonight.
00:58:32Oh, I can look because now I also want to fuck.
00:58:37Don't let him fall.
00:58:38Don't let him fall, brother.
00:58:39That's the attitude.
00:58:40Come on, my niggas.
00:58:41That's all, brother.
00:58:42Yes.
00:58:43Yes.
00:58:46Now we will see Shadia and Jason.
00:58:51What?
00:58:52No.
00:58:53No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:58:54No, wait.
00:58:55It was insufferable.
00:58:56Hey, I don't want to do it.
00:58:57No, no, no.
00:58:58Jason, you know the song.
00:58:59You know the lyrics.
00:59:02Are you going to let him sing alone?
00:59:04Well.
00:59:07Come on.
00:59:37And never let me fall.
00:59:41You're the one who saw me through.
00:59:44Through it all.
00:59:46You were my strength when I was weak.
00:59:50You were my voice when I couldn't speak.
00:59:53You were my eyes when I couldn't see.
00:59:57You saw the best there was in me.
01:00:00Lifted me up when I couldn't reach.
01:00:04You gave me faith because you believed.
01:00:08I'm everything I am.
01:00:14Yeah, because you love me.
01:00:25And who are you?
01:00:29I'm just asking.
01:00:30Who sings so well without being a professional singer?
01:00:33You sing so well that you actually make me sad.
01:00:35Come on.
01:00:36Go up to our room for a drink.
01:00:37Yes.
01:00:38Oh, well.
01:00:39Let's see if this gets good.
01:00:42Well, young Michael Buble and I will have a smoke
01:00:46next to the pool, so.
01:00:47Good.
01:00:48Yes.
01:00:49I'll see you there?
01:00:50Yes.
01:00:51Yes, OK.
01:00:56I want you to know how much I appreciate
01:00:58you doing this for me, Jason.
01:01:01The best gift a grandson can give his grandfather
01:01:03is a pretty student who wants to have sex without protection
01:01:06with him before they die.
01:01:08Most grandfathers just want candy.
01:01:15What's wrong?
01:01:18I think I'm going to cancel my wedding.
01:01:22Well, marriage lasts a long fucking time, and it's hard.
01:01:29I think it's better to be with someone who keeps
01:01:31the matter interesting.
01:01:33Once your grandmother grew her own herb plant.
01:01:37Really?
01:01:38Yes, she just wanted to see if she could.
01:01:42I was always surprised by things like that.
01:01:47And I tried anal sex once every five years.
01:01:51That's good.
01:01:53I miss having someone to share everything with.
01:01:58It's not fair that I don't tell Shadia the truth.
01:02:02This has been a big lie from the beginning,
01:02:05and she has no idea who I am.
01:02:08Should I tell her the truth?
01:02:10Well, maybe telling her today is a little abrupt.
01:02:14The most important thing in a relationship is trust.
01:02:16It's true.
01:02:18And I'm going to start now.
01:02:20Or you can wait for me to sleep with Lenore today,
01:02:22and then you'll tell Shadia the truth.
01:02:25No, I'm lying to her.
01:02:27I'm your grandfather. Wait for me to sleep with that girl.
01:02:30I'll tell her now.
01:02:31Jason!
01:02:32Jason!
01:02:33Jason!
01:02:34Jason!
01:02:35Jason!
01:02:39What's up, brother?
01:02:41Hey, hey, hey!
01:02:42Back off!
01:02:44Wow, but he's the teacher.
01:02:47Hey, it's amazing what you find with a man on Google today.
01:02:50He's not really a teacher.
01:02:52Oh, my God, he lied to us.
01:02:53How evil.
01:02:54Wait, please.
01:02:55This is the best.
01:02:56It's the best part.
01:02:58Richard D. Kelly,
01:03:00Lieutenant Colonel of the U.S. Army,
01:03:04and also known as the American Gladiator,
01:03:07Nitro.
01:03:08Who the hell did you look for?
01:03:09Let's see.
01:03:11There's no better part.
01:03:13Jason Patrick Kelly will marry Meredith Miriam Goldstein
01:03:17at Jericho Temple this Saturday, March 27th.
01:03:21Oh, wait, wait, it's...
01:03:23This Saturday!
01:03:25Wait, they're grandparents?
01:03:28Oh, my God, that's the most perverted thing.
01:03:30Oh, it's very exciting.
01:03:31Oh, sorry, pervert.
01:03:35And...
01:03:38are you getting married this weekend?
01:03:41That's right, I was going to get married.
01:03:44But I met you, and now...
01:03:45Oh, my God, don't tell me that shit.
01:03:48I already feel pretty stupid like this.
01:03:54So you're not a professor, and you're not even a photographer?
01:03:57I'm a lawyer.
01:04:00I'm in charge of the stock market,
01:04:04corporate documents.
01:04:05I came up to tell you that...
01:04:06Go to hell, Jason, seriously.
01:04:07Shadia, come with me.
01:04:08Give me a second to explain.
01:04:09No!
01:04:10Goodbye, brother.
01:04:11Shadia, goodbye, brother.
01:04:12Stop, stop, not so fast, professor.
01:04:14To be frank, I still want to get it.
01:04:18And if we get it?
01:04:19Without a doubt.
01:04:20We'll get it as champions.
01:04:21And there will be a tsunami in my face.
01:04:23You'll flood like the Nile.
01:04:25And so the drought in my vagina will finally end.
01:04:27The villages will finally eat.
01:04:29He'll die while he eats me.
01:04:30His last breath will be in my vagina.
01:04:32Lenore, what the fuck are you?
01:04:33Quiet!
01:04:34That's right, the law is broken, quiet!
01:04:36It's a party with marihuana.
01:04:38Hey, that's bad.
01:04:39You didn't tell me the invitation.
01:04:40In the jacket?
01:04:41In the right pocket, check it out.
01:04:42Turn around, obey.
01:04:43Perusha, that's my jacket.
01:04:44Your hands on the wall, that's it, let's check it out.
01:04:46What do you have here, huh?
01:04:47Lottery.
01:04:48Oh, my God.
01:04:49Son of a bitch, that's not mine.
01:04:50Son of a bitch?
01:04:51It's not mine.
01:04:52Son of a bitch?
01:04:53Well, it seems that the Spring Break is finally free of drugs.
01:04:56Let's go, walk.
01:04:57Walk, kid.
01:04:58Oh, you let me?
01:04:59Yes, of course, this doesn't work like that.
01:05:00Walking or walking?
01:05:01I'll wait for you, Grandpa.
01:05:02Hold it tight for me.
01:05:03It's my Henry Miller.
01:05:06What the fuck does that mean?
01:05:07Exactly.
01:05:11Hello, there you are.
01:05:13Hey, you got blood on your pants.
01:05:15Your license wasn't suspended, right?
01:05:17You made it all up for me to come with you.
01:05:19I had to force you to come.
01:05:21Go to hell.
01:05:22Shit, calm down, Jason.
01:05:23Hakuna Matata.
01:05:26Who the fuck are you?
01:05:28I saw you know you were crazy about Atar
01:05:30as soon as you started flirting
01:05:31the next day at Grandma's funeral.
01:05:33Don't you dare judge me.
01:05:34You have no idea what I went through with your grandmother.
01:05:36And everything I've done these last few days
01:05:38I did for a reason.
01:05:39You were going to get big when you got married.
01:05:41You know that well.
01:05:42Oh, yeah?
01:05:43And what the fuck should I do now?
01:05:46Chasing a college student
01:05:47who doesn't even want to talk to me?
01:05:49Not knowing what the fuck I'm going to do
01:05:50for the rest of my life?
01:05:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:05:52Because at least that way you'll think about yourself
01:05:53to vary.
01:05:54But what the hell does that mean?
01:05:55Your father has invested in all the decisions
01:05:56you've made in your adult life.
01:05:58And Meredith is just the most recent example.
01:06:00She's not the woman for you, Jason.
01:06:01From being your wife,
01:06:02you'll be a son-in-law for the rest of your life
01:06:04and you'll be completely unhappy like your father.
01:06:06I'm already very unhappy with my life.
01:06:08Because I haven't achieved anything.
01:06:09Fuck me, Grandpa.
01:06:11With this stupid crazy sex search.
01:06:13It wasn't a crazy search for me.
01:06:14It was a search for you.
01:06:16How?
01:06:17How was it for me?
01:06:18I was a terrible father.
01:06:19I wasn't there to raise your son
01:06:20and he became a materialist,
01:06:21a whore and a whore.
01:06:23From a farm club.
01:06:24I don't want that to happen to you.
01:06:26And that's what it was about?
01:06:30I was your last option to redeem yourself.
01:06:37Well, congratulations, Grandpa.
01:06:39Did you think you were a terrible father?
01:06:43Now you're a terrible grandfather.
01:06:47I don't want to see you at my wedding.
01:06:50Don't come near me, please.
01:07:14I can't find a friend
01:07:18Anywhere at all
01:07:22So my brother said to me
01:07:25John, you've got to stop, John
01:07:29Because life is full of sorrow
01:07:33Heartache and pain
01:07:37Again and again
01:07:39Again and again
01:07:44Honey, the staff at the salon said
01:07:46they didn't have enough mint napkins
01:07:48So, which ones do you like more?
01:07:51The sea foam ones?
01:07:53Or the pistachio ones?
01:07:56I'll open it.
01:07:57Ooh
01:08:00Ooh
01:08:04Ooh
01:08:07Ooh
01:08:08In case you change your mind.
01:08:09Your grandmother.
01:08:11Who is it?
01:08:12Oh, Elsa.
01:08:13Another wedding gift.
01:08:15I hope you like it.
01:08:16A new spoon for William's soup, right?
01:08:18Right.
01:08:19I was three years old when I got these handkerchiefs.
01:08:23Let me go
01:08:26No, no
01:08:28And as a tribute to Meledith and Jason
01:08:32And the love that exists between them
01:08:34And that I will never know
01:08:35Because my dog died the first day I masturbated
01:08:37So I have no objections
01:08:39Besides, we have to stop Isis
01:08:42It's done, it's too much
01:08:45I can, I can
01:08:47You know what?
01:08:48Today's celebration is
01:08:50More than just the union of two people
01:08:53It involves the union of two families
01:08:56The Kelly's and the Goldstein's
01:08:59Let Jason and Meledith tell us their own story
01:09:06Get it together
01:09:24You brought to my life
01:09:26All the wrongs that you may write
01:09:29For every dream you make come true
01:09:33For all the love I find in you
01:09:37You've got to be forever thankful, baby
01:09:41You're the one who held me up
01:09:45Never let me fall
01:09:49Leave it to me, master
01:09:52Oh, oh, oh
01:10:00You were my strength when I was weak
01:10:04You were my voice when I couldn't speak
01:10:07You were my eyes when I couldn't see
01:10:11You saw the best that was in me
01:10:15Lifted me up when I couldn't breathe
01:10:20Babe
01:10:23I'm everything I am
01:10:26Because you love me
01:10:29Because you love me
01:10:49Jason!
01:11:20What?
01:11:29What the fuck?
01:11:49Can't they get married?
01:11:53Oh, asshole
01:11:56I forgot that Uncle Ramon is deaf
01:11:58And I talked to him like it was normal
01:12:01Hey, Uncle Ruben
01:12:02Could you tell Meledith that Jason is very sorry
01:12:05But they can't get married?
01:12:09He says he's very sorry
01:12:11But he can't marry you
01:12:13Uncle Ruben!
01:12:15Could you turn up the volume?
01:12:17I turned it up
01:12:19Where did you buy it? At the supermarket?
01:12:22I'm afraid that anyone who asks for it is a disabled person
01:12:26Waiter!
01:12:27Hey, Puberto!
01:12:30Could you tell Meledith
01:12:32That my cousin Jason is very sorry
01:12:34But they can't get married?
01:12:36Hey, man, it's my first day
01:12:38I know it's your first day
01:12:39But we need you to act like a man
01:12:41Okay
01:12:43Oh, it's fast
01:12:45He sent me, he asked me
01:12:47He asked me to tell him that
01:12:50That he doesn't think he can marry you
01:12:54But he can't, and he's sorry
01:13:00It's okay
01:13:01He's laughing, so I think you're saved, cousin
01:13:04No, calm down, calm down
01:13:06You can go there and tell him
01:13:08That I slept with Nick, his cousin, when he left
01:13:12He's taking it very well
01:13:14And he said
01:13:16Go, do what you need to do
01:13:18Did he say that?
01:13:19He said that in text
01:13:21I have to go down
01:13:22No, God damn it, no!
01:13:23No?
01:13:24There's no need, not even
01:13:26You just do it, I already did it
01:13:27Everything is excellent
01:13:29Hey, where the hell are you going?
01:13:31Jason!
01:13:32Why are you dressed like that?
01:13:33Jason!
01:13:42He's the subject of the motorcycle with the iPad
01:13:46National security doesn't use trucks for years
01:13:50Since you gave me back the camera
01:13:51I had to take more drastic measures
01:13:53What does he say? Shall we do it?
01:13:55Plan B
01:13:56Let Pam kidnap you
01:13:57I have to get her back
01:13:59If you want me to kidnap her
01:14:00I'll bring her back as a gift, brother
01:14:02There's going to be a bus to the west
01:14:04For the I-85 in Florida
01:14:05Her boat leaves in four hours
01:14:07It was easy to track her
01:14:08For the Middle East and so on
01:14:10They'll be able to do the 69
01:14:11Thanks to the patriotic act
01:14:12Do the 69, my friend
01:14:14And then she'll die
01:14:16Really, Pam?
01:14:17You're in this?
01:14:18Oh, yes, it's so easy to sell drugs to children
01:14:20From an ice cream truck
01:14:21It's funny
01:14:22Jason!
01:14:23Jason!
01:14:24Jason, stop right now!
01:14:25Stop!
01:14:26Run!
01:14:27If you leave
01:14:28You can say goodbye
01:14:29To your job in the office
01:14:30David, do you want to stop getting in the way?
01:14:33No, Jason!
01:14:34What's wrong?
01:14:35What's wrong with you?
01:14:36Hey, unless you want an ice cream
01:14:38Or a little heroin
01:14:39Get out of my truck right now!
01:14:40And who's this scoundrel?
01:14:41Scoundrel?
01:14:42I'm a small businessman
01:14:44I'm the pillar of this nation
01:14:45I'm the one with the Taser
01:14:48No, you idiot!
01:14:49Should I stop?
01:14:50You could
01:14:51No, I'm too focused
01:14:52Oh, well
01:14:55Raise your hand if he shot you
01:14:59What do we do?
01:15:00Do we leave him on the street?
01:15:02Friend, not so fast
01:15:03Because you're making it a little difficult for me
01:15:05But what the hell are you?
01:15:06Was it you who drew those spikes on my forehead?
01:15:08Yes, I drew them
01:15:09You found out
01:15:10Oh, it's not true
01:15:11Be careful, move
01:15:12We'll cut in the back
01:15:13You guide, I'll drive
01:15:16What are you doing?
01:15:18No, no, no!
01:15:19No!
01:15:20No, no, no!
01:15:21Friend!
01:15:22Friend!
01:15:29Welcome to Florida
01:15:30Hey, what's going on?
01:15:34Excessive speed
01:15:35Let's go after him
01:15:39Let's go!
01:15:41Shit!
01:15:42We have to lose weight
01:15:43Pam, throw some of those things
01:15:45Hey, look, a jet!
01:15:46Pam, it's one of the good Greeks
01:15:49Hey, hey!
01:15:50Hi, Jim!
01:15:51Hi, Gary!
01:15:54Where did you learn to drive like that, Dad?
01:15:57Say it, Grandpa
01:15:59I was a special forces green buoy
01:16:01I distracted urgent enemy transfers
01:16:03I covered myself as a mechanic
01:16:05Okay, we got there
01:16:08There they are!
01:16:09Speed up, speed up!
01:16:13Xavia!
01:16:15Stop the bus!
01:16:16I have to talk to you!
01:16:17What are you doing here?
01:16:18Stop the bus!
01:16:19Stop the bus!
01:16:20Stop!
01:16:21I'm not stopping!
01:16:23I appreciate it, Pam
01:16:24Dirty drug dealer!
01:16:26I'm not a drug dealer, Barry!
01:16:28Get out of here!
01:16:29Pam, do you know Barry?
01:16:30Yes, he's my best friend
01:16:31I sold him like six tons of ecstasy
01:16:34That's why I won't stop the bus
01:16:36You're full of drugs
01:16:38Classic Pam
01:16:39Do you know Barry?
01:16:40What did you do?
01:16:41Hey, stop the bus!
01:16:43Grandpa, what are you doing?
01:16:57You'd better marry her
01:16:58Me? She's not my type
01:16:59I see her and I get skinny
01:17:07Stop the bus!
01:17:10What the hell?
01:17:12Stop the bus!
01:17:14Stop the bus!
01:17:26Go, go, go!
01:17:27Go get her, friend!
01:17:29What's going on?
01:17:30Do you know what happened?
01:17:31I have no idea
01:17:32Let's see
01:17:33But I'm not getting married
01:17:34Okay
01:17:35Does that mean you're lying?
01:17:38No, it doesn't
01:17:40But you must admit that being together
01:17:42was great
01:17:43We felt something real
01:17:45Yes
01:17:48What do you want from me, Jason?
01:17:52I want you to stay
01:17:57I can't do it
01:18:02Okay
01:18:04Yes, I understand
01:18:05Go
01:18:07Yes
01:18:13What if I go with you?
01:18:16You're coming?
01:18:19Really?
01:18:20Well
01:18:22I just broke up with my fiancée
01:18:24I lost my job
01:18:26And I think the police are looking for me
01:18:27So
01:18:29A year in the ocean
01:18:31Could be the best place for me
01:18:36Okay
01:18:49Separate, lesbians!
01:18:50Prisoners!
01:18:51We don't do this because you're lesbians!
01:18:53What?
01:18:55According to Interstate 17.37
01:18:58Arrests on interstate highways
01:19:00must be carried out by the state police
01:19:02not by local law enforcement
01:19:03from adjacent municipalities
01:19:05You seem to know the Penal Code well
01:19:08It's compenetrated with the crime rate
01:19:11Very good
01:19:12They drew nipples all over your face, idiot
01:19:14Wow, look, he has nipples on his face
01:19:16The one in the middle is mine
01:19:17Look at that one over there
01:19:18I traced it
01:19:19No wonder you looked familiar
01:19:21We had a lot of fun
01:19:22Let my friends go
01:19:23They've literally done nothing wrong
01:19:25Pam, there's obstruction of justice
01:19:27There was imprudential risk
01:19:29The bus is full of drugs, I understand
01:19:31Speaking of which, I have to go
01:19:33Three kilos of frisbees will get me to the store today
01:19:35So I'm leaving
01:19:36Question
01:19:37Why don't you take the patrol?
01:19:39Yes, it's a good idea
01:19:40Give him your keys
01:19:41Are you talking about these?
01:19:42Yes, it's those
01:19:45Classic Pam
01:19:46Classic Pam
01:19:47What do you say, shall we have lunch?
01:19:48That would be great
01:19:50See you, you can't!
01:19:53Then
01:19:55I'll go with her
01:19:58Yes, do it
01:20:00It seems to be very nice
01:20:03You know what?
01:20:04I think that's the only way to get home
01:20:07So I'm going to try to get rid of these nipples
01:20:10And turn on that truck
01:20:14Give me a moment
01:20:15Yes
01:20:24Grandpa
01:20:26Thank you for...
01:20:27No, don't be silly
01:20:28Just let me know when you're back
01:20:30And I really want to see your photos in Time magazine
01:20:33This camera cost me three months of my military pension
01:20:48Thank you, grandpa
01:20:52Jason
01:20:54Yes?
01:20:56In the 80's
01:20:57When Andre the Giant used to go to Playboy's mansion
01:21:01He'd put five bunnies on top of each other in bed
01:21:04And he'd stick his finger in all of them
01:21:05Five at a time
01:21:06Because of how big their hands were
01:21:10And...
01:21:12That's all
01:21:18Thank you, grandpa
01:21:20Leoprez Oliver
01:21:23Lema de los boinas verdes
01:21:26Significa liberar al oprimido
01:21:40Hello
01:21:41Are you ready?
01:21:42Yes
01:21:53Let's go
01:22:00Gracias por haberme traído
01:22:03¿Y vas a estar bien?
01:22:07Te extraño
01:22:10Pero estaré bien
01:22:15Fui un pésimo padre, lo lamento
01:22:19Trabajaremos en ello
01:22:23Gracias
01:22:37Es un hombre difícil de encontrar, profesor
01:22:42¿Ese es mi pantalón?
01:22:43Es su pantalón
01:22:45Había un caramelo cremoso en su bolsillo
01:22:46Y lo chupé todo a la mañana
01:22:49Si sabes que no soy un profesor, ¿verdad?
01:22:51Sí, lo sé
01:22:53Solo un anciano muy caliente
01:22:55Y yo a una chica de Long Island City
01:22:57Que le gusta acostarse con viejos
01:22:59Me gusta su sofá plegable
01:23:02Sí, pues te tengo noticias
01:23:04No es lo único que se va a desdoblar esta noche
01:23:07Vuelvo enseguida
01:23:24Ay, hola
01:23:26Óyeme
01:23:28Perdona, pero hace mucho tiempo que no lo hago
01:23:30No sé si pueda hacerlo
01:23:32Oiga
01:23:49Ups, creo que se me cayó el pantalón
01:23:51O revánteme el sostén
01:23:53Como si fuera un cheque del Seguro Social
01:24:04Dígame que se cae y no se puede levantar
01:24:06Auxilio, me caigo, no puedo levantarme
01:24:08Yo sé
01:24:11Ahora manate y finge que busca sus gafas
01:24:13¿Dónde están mis gafas?
01:24:15No veo nada
01:24:17Las encontré
01:24:18Las encontré
01:24:20Ya veo, ya veo
01:24:22Dígame que son las cuatro y ya quiero cenar
01:24:24Son las cuatro y quiero cenar
01:24:26Diga que los botones del control remoto son pequeños
01:24:28Y no encuentro el noticiario
01:24:30Los botones del control remoto son tan pequeños
01:24:32Que no encuentro el noticiario
01:24:34Que tan pequeños son
01:24:36Diga que este vecindario era tranquilo
01:24:38Este vecindario antes era muy tranquilo
01:24:40Diga que todo era mejor con Eisenhower
01:24:42Todo, todo era mejor con Eisenhower
01:24:44Eisenhower
01:24:46Eisenhower
01:24:48Eisenhower
01:24:50Eisenhower
01:24:53Se está viniendo, muriendo
01:24:55Estoy seguro
01:25:07Por la mano del hombre llegó la muerte
01:25:12Y por su mano también ha llegado la vida
01:25:16Richard Kelly II
01:25:19Felicidades al bebé y a sus padrinos
01:25:21Jason y Shadia
01:25:26Adelanto
01:25:28Dijo mami
01:25:30Ya, bautizado
01:25:32Tú nunca dejas de sorprenderme, abuelo
01:25:34Padre a los 72
01:25:36Eres un puto semental
01:25:38Oye, no seas mal hablado
01:25:40No exageres, ya
01:25:42Sí, cuida tu lenguaje y demuéstrale respeto a tu nueva abuela
01:25:43Cielo, ¿podrías visitarnos algunas veces?
01:25:45Nunca te vemos
01:25:47Perdón, abuela
01:25:49¿Vamos por el auto?
01:25:51Sí, ok
01:25:53Ok, iremos por la camioneta
01:25:55Ve con papi
01:25:57Es un poco extraño
01:25:59Ella es mi abuela
01:26:03Y tú eres mi tío
01:26:06Mira
01:26:08No, es cierto
01:26:10Es un buen pito, ¿no?
01:26:11Nuestro pito
01:26:13Qué bueno que no tiene el de él
01:26:16¿Me pasas el biberón?
01:26:18Hola, ¿qué haces, nene?
01:26:23¡Aprovecho!
01:26:35I'm having a ball
01:26:38My life is a blast
01:26:41I'm loving it all
01:26:43And who knows how long
01:26:45This will last
01:26:48I'm having a ball
01:26:51I'm running the show
01:26:54How I got stuck
01:26:56With so much luck
01:26:58I'll never know
01:27:01I'm living a dream
01:27:04Just floating on air
01:27:07If there should ever be rain
01:27:08On my parade
01:27:10I don't care
01:27:12I'm having a ball
01:27:15I'm calling the shots
01:27:18I'm sharing my fortune
01:27:20With my friends
01:27:22And I got lost
01:27:25Each day I wake up
01:27:27And greet
01:27:29The world at my feet
01:27:32I'm riding high
01:27:34I can't deny
01:27:36I'm having a great time
01:27:38I'm having a ball
01:27:40I'm having a ball
01:28:06I'm having a ball
01:28:09There's no holding back
01:28:12I'm going for all
01:28:14That I can grab
01:28:16And that's a fact
01:28:19And when it's all said and done