Video Information: 31.10.2024, Greater Noida
Description:
Acharya Ji explains that all relationships, including those termed "situationships," are inherently situational. People often label relationships as volitional (by choice), believing they stem from personal decisions. However, everything in life, from our relationships to our identity, is shaped by external situations and randomness. For example, love affairs, career paths, or even national identity are products of chance, not deliberate choice.
Accepting the situational nature of life frees one from unnecessary attachment and expectations. It also fosters lightness and humor, as one realizes that nothing random can be sacred or essential. The wise focus on the "essential"—that which transcends situations—rather than respecting random societal positions or outcomes.
True liberation comes when one stops taking situations seriously, neither overvaluing nor undervaluing oneself or others based on circumstances. Instead, wisdom lies in one's engagement with situations, not in their outcomes.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAAnsNE7Xs0MW0Li8Y?si=09fbcbc7c99c469b
Description:
Acharya Ji explains that all relationships, including those termed "situationships," are inherently situational. People often label relationships as volitional (by choice), believing they stem from personal decisions. However, everything in life, from our relationships to our identity, is shaped by external situations and randomness. For example, love affairs, career paths, or even national identity are products of chance, not deliberate choice.
Accepting the situational nature of life frees one from unnecessary attachment and expectations. It also fosters lightness and humor, as one realizes that nothing random can be sacred or essential. The wise focus on the "essential"—that which transcends situations—rather than respecting random societal positions or outcomes.
True liberation comes when one stops taking situations seriously, neither overvaluing nor undervaluing oneself or others based on circumstances. Instead, wisdom lies in one's engagement with situations, not in their outcomes.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAAnsNE7Xs0MW0Li8Y?si=09fbcbc7c99c469b
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Namaste Acharya ji. Words like situation-ship have become common in today's relationships.
00:05Prakriti is an endless network of cause and effect.
00:09You look at an effect, you can never pinpoint what the cause is.
00:13They say that when a butterfly flaps its wings in America,
00:17it is possible that a volcano can erupt in Japan.
00:20That's the principle of the tipping point.
00:23I did not come on my own account.
00:25I did not come on my own volition, did I?
00:28Just as I came by chance, I will disappear by chance.
00:34Now do you see the meaning?
00:35Don't take it seriously.
00:37The very existence of the two here is a demonstration of two-ness.
00:43It's just that that's the way the winds are blowing.
00:51So peaceful, situationally.
00:53Oh, you are absolutely great, situationally.
00:56Just add this to everything.
00:57I love you.
00:58You are a bastard.
00:59I can give my life for you, situationally.
01:04And then nothing hurts you because you know it was anyway, situationally.
01:13Namaste Acharya ji.
01:14Words like situation-ship have become common in today's relationships.
01:19And thus people are close to each other, but without any commitment.
01:23This sometimes seems very attractive,
01:25but such relationships have no depth or any stability.
01:29Can such relationships satisfy a person?
01:32Please help me understand.
01:36You think it's situation-ship?
01:39What is not situational?
01:43You see, there are two kinds of relationships.
01:48One that are situational and are accepted as situational.
01:56For example, the fellow on the seat next to you on a bus.
02:04Right?
02:09There you are able to neatly accept that the relationship is just situational.
02:14I am 36A and he is 36B.
02:18So, sitting next to me, that's fine.
02:22And then there are situational relationships that are taken as volitional.
02:26So, there are SS relationships where the relationship is situational
02:31and seen as situational.
02:3236A, 36B.
02:35And then there are SV relationships where it is situational.
02:40And then there are SV relationships where it is situational.
02:45But it is named, labelled or tagged as volitional.
02:48Volitional means?
02:50By choice.
02:52I decided.
02:52My discretion.
02:54My wisdom.
02:57For example, a love affair.
02:59I chose him or her.
03:01Every damn relationship is just a product of situations.
03:08Nothing else.
03:11Nothing else at all.
03:16A great patriot, he died for the flag.
03:24You were born 2 inches to this side of the world.
03:28You were born 2 inches to this side of the border.
03:34And had your parents
03:38taken another eager turn,
03:43you would have been an equal patriot but devoted to the other flag.
03:54But you would not accept that.
03:55You would say, no, no, no.
03:56My heart beats for my particular flag.
03:58So, it is a situational thing.
04:00Sanyog.
04:00Nothing more than that.
04:02Everything is situational.
04:06There is nothing beyond situations.
04:10And wonderfully, when you see that everything is situational,
04:15then you move to a point that is beyond situations.
04:21Things will always be situational.
04:23Things will always be situational.
04:25You can move beyond situations.
04:31Even if you try your best,
04:35whatever you have is a gift or product of situations.
04:40Full stop.
04:41Don't quarrel or argue with that.
04:44You will not win.
04:47Your body itself in the first place is situational.
04:54And we have so many jokes around that.
04:57The condom factory received 2000 picks of babies.
05:03Wonderful picks.
05:05Lovely babies.
05:10And they were shown to the GM.
05:12And the GM asked, what are these?
05:14They said, customer complaints.
05:16Those babies will never know that they are just situational.
05:22Customer complaints.
05:25Somebody slept on the job.
05:28The condoms were defective.
05:30From there came the babies.
05:34And the baby will say, look at me.
05:36I am such a fine product of God.
05:40I am such a fine product of God.
05:42I am such a fine product of God.
05:44I was dispatched straight from the heavens.
05:48Sir, there was some leakage somewhere.
05:53Nothing more than that.
05:55That's your entire existence.
06:03Or your father was extra drunk that night.
06:05He forgot to pull out in time.
06:08That's all.
06:10And you call yourself a good person.
06:12And you call yourself some kind of divine miracle embossed in dignity.
06:19Hello!
06:24Each of us is like that.
06:26It's all situational.
06:29Your gender, the colour of your skin, your ethnicity, your beliefs.
06:34In fact, studies are more and more saying that it's not just about survival of the fittest.
06:41There is also the element of randomness factored in.
06:47Evolution is not altogether logical.
06:53There is also a probabilistic element into it.
06:58There is also a probabilistic element into it.
07:04This could have happened.
07:05That could have happened.
07:07Both had a certain probability, a non-zero probability and somehow this happened.
07:13Even if the probability of this was lower, but it happened.
07:19Now this you cannot even call as the survival of the fittest or the survival of the greatest probability.
07:28Because when you look at a lot of species,
07:33in terms of evolution, they are not very fit.
07:37And compared to certain other related species,
07:46those species that were relatively fitter, they have gone extinct.
07:51And these ones, they still survive. How is it happening?
07:54So surely there is a certain randomness too involved in it.
07:59So it's all situational. You never know why it is happening.
08:06Indian philosophy calls it as mere sanyog.
08:14Nadi nao sanyog. All kinds of sanyog.
08:21It is not knowable.
08:24Prakrit is an endless network of cause and effect.
08:33You look at an effect, you can never pinpoint what the cause is.
08:38Because the causes themselves are infinite and it is not a straight chain of causes.
08:47It is at least a two dimensional network of causes.
08:51Not a straight chain.
08:55Everything is affecting something else.
09:00They say that when a butterfly flaps its wings in America,
09:05it is possible that a volcano can erupt in Japan.
09:10That's the principle of the tipping point.
09:15Things could have reached such a final state
09:19that the final straw on the camel's back suffices.
09:23And you feel as if one particular straw has led to the avalanche.
09:29No!
09:33The thing had reached a particular point.
09:37And you never knew what would be the precipitating factor.
09:42It's all situational.
09:44You never knew when the precipitation would come. It's situational.
09:48Are you getting it?
09:56The wise person accepts everything as random
10:04and stands with folded hands in front of Prakriti.
10:09Does not identify, does not
10:12take himself to be the cause.
10:19It's happening in a stream. I cannot be the cause of that.
10:24When I am myself an effect of something, how can I be the primary cause?
10:33And there is no primary cause.
10:38It's all a flow.
10:39Everything is just situational.
10:41That does not mean that you lose respect for everything and drop it.
10:45That does not mean that sitting here, you start texting to someone,
10:48you know, I just came to discover we are in a situationship rather than a relationship.
10:55So, I think we should move on.
10:58That's not what we are saying.
10:59We are saying, even if your body is situational, how can you break up then?
11:04Can you break up with your body?
11:11Just realise that there are things and there are only things and things have their own flow.
11:24And when you realise this, then you stand at a point above all things and that is liberation.
11:31There is no sense in categorising as situationship versus relationship.
11:41There is nothing called as relationship. Everything is situationship.
11:47Just saying relationship is sufficient.
11:54Relationship itself is a synonym of relationship.
11:58Relationship is sufficient. Relationship itself is a synonym of situationship.
12:05So, fine. Make peace with that.
12:08Yes, it is situational. Obviously.
12:16The train got late and it was raining.
12:21And the workers in the electricity department were on a strike.
12:28And it was midnight. The train got late.
12:34And so, I came out and she came out and I asked her,
12:43and I asked her, where are you going?
12:48And she said something and I said, right, let's share a ride.
12:55And from that ensued an entire dynasty.
13:06Junnu 1, Junnu 2, Junnu 3, Junnu 4.
13:08Just as you have in dynasties.
13:14Did you plan out that strike in the electricity department?
13:19Had it not been so dark, she wouldn't have agreed to share the ride.
13:28Did you conspire with the railways to delay the arrival of the train?
13:35The train was supposed to reach at 7 pm.
13:37Had it reached at 7 pm, she wouldn't have needed to share the ride with you.
13:47Do you wield some special influence with the rain god?
13:52Had it not started raining, she would again not have agreed to share the ride with you.
13:57But then you share the ride and there are potholes.
14:01Did you dig them?
14:03One particular pothole, she jumps up and falls in your lap.
14:13Everything is situational but then you say, you know my great love for you.
14:17What love for you? Electricity department? Pothole?
14:23Municipality? Electricity? Railways? Roads?
14:28And that drunkard? The auto guy?
14:34That particular night, he had a tiff with his wife and was driving like this.
14:42Repeatedly she kept falling on you.
14:46And then you say, you know, our great love affair.
14:50You are not the doer at all.
14:53There are just so many people in the world.
14:55You are not the doer at all.
14:57There are just so many causes.
15:00Just so many causes.
15:05Even the hormones inside the body vary on a daily basis, a weekly basis, a monthly basis.
15:13Not just inside the woman, also inside the man.
15:17Surely it was just a matter of probability that the two of you were at the peak of your hormonal cycle.
15:25So both of you got excited.
15:29Had the bodily cycles also not matched, there would have been no confluence.
15:36But then you say, my great love affair.
15:38There is nothing great in it.
15:48Board examinations.
15:50You go to some other centre.
15:55Your name is Keshav. Her name is Kamini.
15:58She is sitting in front of you.
16:01You are forced to smell her all the time.
16:04One month of board examinations.
16:07Just because your name in the roster comes after her name, what can you do?
16:15Had somebody in his mindlessness not named you Keshav?
16:22Think of the real Keshav.
16:26Would you have ever been in physical proximity of Kamini?
16:31Now Ka and Ke and Ke is sitting behind Ka and smelling.
16:41She happened to use the shampoo gifted to her by her ex-boyfriend.
16:46Just that Ke does not know that Ka is using the shampoo that the ex-boyfriend stole from his
16:55ex-girlfriend to gift to Kamini.
16:59She is now happily using that shampoo.
17:03And this fellow is getting totally hot.
17:07And from there something happens.
17:11It is insulting to accept this.
17:16But that's the way it is.
17:26You are about to tick something in your entrance exam paper.
17:32Last minute, some random fly comes and lands on your nose and you get busy with the fly.
17:41And instead of marking option D, you mark option C.
17:47So your rank falls by 10.
17:50So instead of getting electrical, you get mechanical.
17:53I mean department.
17:55Dirty minds.
18:00That's what happens.
18:01For loss of two marks, it is very probable that your rank falls by 100.
18:09And because you get mechanical department,
18:12so you get into an altogether stream of career.
18:16Different stream of career, no?
18:17And why did that happen?
18:18That random fly came and sat on your nose.
18:25Instead of working in a power grid, you are working somewhere else.
18:36Well, please think.
18:37How much your career is decided just by the rank that you get in a particular examination?
18:42And that rank is decided by so many people.
18:46And that rank is decided by so many random factors.
18:52It's all very situational, though it hurts us to accept that.
18:58When you see that it's all situational, then you do not feel it very important to be attached with anything.
19:07Because anything came to me just by chance.
19:10Therefore, what obligation do I have to stay committed to it?
19:16You cannot remain committed to things of chance.
19:22Can you?
19:25Son, you are a mechanical engineer.
19:27You must work only in the mechanical industry.
19:31What mechanical engineer?
19:33That fly?
19:37Had there been an entire swarm of them, maybe I could have become a computer engineer.
19:46Mark this, mark this and get rid of them.
19:48Randomly it happens that all the answers are right.
19:51So you get an even better rank and you become a computer engineer.
19:56What commitment?
19:57Commitment to randomness.
20:00The problem with us is we take random things as essential.
20:09And because you take random things as essential, therefore you have
20:13no respect for what is actually essential.
20:29Your body is not essential.
20:32Your thoughts are not essential.
20:33They are all coming from random influences outside of you.
20:38The tastes that you have in clothing, in food, that is not essential.
20:43That is dictated by social factors.
20:48There is no need to give it too much respect.
20:51There is no need to treat it as sacred because it is not sacred.
20:58Only the unchangeable is sacred.
21:00Only the uncaused is sacred.
21:03The unchangeable is sacred.
21:06Only the uncaused is sacred.
21:08Random things are not to be taken as sacred.
21:13What is random must be taken lightly.
21:16You don't need to throw it away.
21:18You just need to take it like a joke.
21:22Yes, it is there. Fine.
21:24I am not going to cast off my body.
21:26I will just take it like a joke.
21:28I do have food choices.
21:31But I will not initiate World War III to defend my taste buds.
21:40I will be cool about all that. Fine. I understand.
21:43You are born in Mexico.
21:46You have a particular taste in food.
21:52You are coming from Arabia.
21:54You have a particular taste in food.
21:55You are coming from Arabia.
21:58You have a particular sartorial choice.
22:00That looks pretty odd to me.
22:02But still, I know it is a random thing.
22:11Then you do not fight over things of chance.
22:19One fellow prays and worships in a particular way.
22:22Did he invent that?
22:24It is coming to him by?
22:27The other fellow prays and worships in a different way.
22:30The moment they see that both of these things are just situational,
22:32they will stop fighting.
22:35Neither you invented that, nor did I.
22:40What do we have to do with these things that have just randomly come to us?
22:48That lightness is the gift of spirituality.
22:54Nothing makes you heavy because nothing is too important.
22:59You can joke about anything now and you need not take anything too seriously.
23:06Everything is situational. How to take it too seriously?
23:12One day just randomly you came to me.
23:15One day just randomly you went away.
23:18Either because you thought to go away or because death took you away.
23:22That is fine.
23:23One day you came to me.
23:24One day you went away.
23:26That is fine.
23:33Now even your own death does not matter too much to you.
23:38I did not come on my own account.
23:40I did not come on my own volition.
23:42Did I?
23:42I did not come on my own volition.
23:44Did I?
23:45Just as I came by chance, I will disappear by chance.
23:52Anybody here who decided on his appearance?
23:56Then why are you so concerned about your death?
24:00Randomly you came. Randomly you go.
24:02Fine?
24:07Are you getting it?
24:08It's all situational.
24:11Don't take it seriously.
24:13Are you getting it?
24:22Nishtra Gunya Bhav Arjun.
24:25Now do you see the meaning?
24:26Don't take it seriously.
24:34Do you see the ramifications?
24:37You stop respecting a lot of authority.
24:42You know the fellow is there, mostly because situations put him there.
24:51Another time, another age, another situation, the fellow wouldn't have been there. Not at all.
24:58How do I respect him?
25:01There is nothing that he achieved. There is nothing there of his own.
25:06One, that which is your own is called the ultimate truth in Vedanta, Atma, mind.
25:15Prakriti is that which is not yours really.
25:25There can be a great statue of the highest deity
25:30and some speck of dust can come flying randomly in the wind and get placed on the forehead of the deity.
25:47Is it not possible? It happens all the time.
25:50You go and wipe the deity's forehead and there will be dust there.
25:54Do you start respecting the dust?
25:57Just randomly it happened that you got into a high place.
26:02I will not consider you some kind of authority.
26:06It's a matter of chance and chance is chance.
26:11Nothing sacred, nothing to be worshipped.
26:14Similarly, most people who are at high places, they are like the speck of dust resting on the forehead of the deity.
26:22Not to be taken seriously.
26:26You also see the vice versa.
26:31Just because somebody appears to be at the low end of life,
26:43the ebb, that does not mean the fellow is unworthy.
26:50Another time, another place, favourable situations, he would have been somewhere else.
26:56So the wise man does not evaluate a person by his social standing.
27:09What does he look for? He looks for the essential.
27:14Does this person value the essential? If that person values the essential, then he is valuable.
27:21I will not value you for your designation, your power, your pelfe, your reputation
27:30because all of these are situational.
27:33What will I value in you? The essential.
27:37If you respect the essential, then I respect you.
27:42Otherwise, you might be the president of the world. I don't care.
27:46I don't care. Chance has put you there. Otherwise, you are nobody.
27:57They say, if you give enough monkeys, enough computers,
28:02one of them will come up with all the works of Shakespeare.
28:07It's just about having enough numbers.
28:11Billions of monkeys, billions of systems and they will randomly start keying in.
28:18And just by chance, you will find. Because there are going to be so many chances that one of them will be a favourable chance.
28:26You will say, this one is Shakespeare.
28:29We are not going to respect randomness.
28:32I always say, measure a man by the odds he is rising against.
28:47The name of the odds is Prakriti.
28:51The measure of a man
28:54is the quality of his engagement with Prakriti.
28:58Not where his situations have taken him, but what he has done with his situations.
29:07His relationship with his situations.
29:12And that is more difficult to assess. Therefore, it is very important to assess the odds.
29:17His relationship with his situations.
29:21And that is more difficult to assess. Therefore, we often falter in our assessment of people.
29:30We want to see where they have reached.
29:34We do not see how they are relating with their conditions. That's what you must look at.
29:41But to look at that in others, you must first be able to look at that in yourself.
29:50How am I relating to my situations?
29:54If you take situations too seriously,
29:59you are, as they say,
30:04ignoramuses. One of them.
30:10Just a common ignorant fellow.
30:19Your bank balance shows 1 billion and you are so full of yourself.
30:27And suddenly, it shows nothing.
30:31And suddenly, it shows nothing and you are punctured, fully deflated.
30:38Situations are ruling you. Most people are like that.
30:43Don't be like that.
30:51Classically, it is called samta. Irrespective of the situation, I am myself. Samta.
30:58A lot of this peaceful experience that you have is also just situational. So, don't take it seriously.
31:07You are not so peaceful.
31:10And that will show up as soon as these 2 doors open.
31:16This is my way and this is your way.
31:19As long as this little hall, this little sabhagar will continue to have 2 rooms,
31:26there will be separation.
31:282 doors, there will be separation.
31:31Because we are one while we are here. Then I go my way and you go your way.
31:39The very existence of the 2 here is a demonstration of 2-ness.
31:48You have chosen to have a separate life.
31:53So, don't take this peace too.
31:55Because even your choice is situational.
31:59You have not even chosen to have a separate life.
32:02It's just that, that's the way the winds are blowing.
32:07The winds are blowing.
32:24Too peaceful, situationally.
32:28Oh, you are absolutely great, situationally.
32:32Just add this to everything.
32:35I love you.
32:38You are a bastard.
32:50I can give my life for you, situationally.
32:57And then nothing hurts you because you know it was anyway a situation.
33:04Situationally.
33:08Then you don't bank on the promises because you know that all promises are situational.
33:13Only fools hope that the promises will be kept.
33:19No promises can ever be kept because all promises are situational.
33:27That's why the wise ones don't bank on promises. They bank on love.
33:34And as I am fond of saying, in love there can be no promises.