Agha Majid Andheray Mein Gum, Banali Danish Nay Standup Comedy

ARY NEWS

#Hoshyarian #HaroonRafiq #StandupComedy #SaleemAlbela #GogaPasroori #AghaMajid #ArzuuFatima #ComedyShow #Funny #Entertainment   Watch Hoshyarian Episode 458: https://youtu.be/KA2GNa11lX0 Watch Hoshyarian Episode 457: https://youtu.be/wGxp14HoCU0 Watch Hoshyarian Episode 456: https://youtu.be/PvUgVdm0H0s Watch Hoshyarian Episode 454: https://youtu.be/hJtmNPJ0e5U Watch Hoshyarian Episode 453: https://youtu.be/EBJh2D2yhYM Watch Hoshyarian Episode 451: https://youtu.be/J3NSjiQDIkI Watch Hoshyarian Episode 450: https://youtu.be/4QHsfgzmGAM  For the latest General Elections 2024 Updates ,Results, Party Position, Candidates and Much more Please visit our Election Portal: https://elections.arynews.tv  Follow the ARY News channel on WhatsApp: https://bit.ly/46e5HzY  Subscribe to our channel and press the bell icon for latest news updates: http://bit.ly/3e0SwKP  ARY News is a leading Pakistani news channel that promises to bring you factual and timely international stories and stories about Pakistan, sports, entertainment, and business, amid others.  Official Facebook: https://www.fb.com/arynewsasia  Official Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/arynewsofficial  Official Instagram: https://instagram.com/arynewstv  Website: https://arynews.tv  Watch ARY NEWS LIVE: http://live.arynews.tv    Listen Live: http://live.arynews.tv/audio  Listen Top of the hour Headlines, Bulletins & Programs: https://soundcloud.com/arynewsofficial #ARYNews  ARY News Official YouTube Channel. For more videos, subscribe to our channel and for suggestions please use the comment section.

Transcript

00:00Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

00:05Now, the segment is stand-up comedy.

00:10Wow!

00:11To do today's stand-up comedy,

00:14we have none other than Mr. Danish.

00:24Danish! Danish! Danish!

00:27Danish! Danish!

00:28Thank you very much.

00:29Mr. Danish, best of luck.

00:30Thank you very much.

00:31First of all, greetings to everyone.

00:33Greetings.

00:34I have been under pressure to do stand-up comedy for a long time.

00:37Since three years.

00:38Yes, since three years.

00:39But I was taking work from Tal Muttol

00:41because I was a comedian.

00:42You took work from Tal and went from Muttol.

00:44Then one day, I saw a cricket match of Pakistan on TV.

00:49I saw the coaches of Pakistan there.

00:51I thought, they are also doing something.

00:53So, let's start with the fact that

00:59they are the coaches of Pakistan cricket team.

01:02And the coaches of Pakistani team

01:04are talking to each other.

01:06And they are writing something on the paper.

01:08They are also working on the laptop.

01:10The coach of Australia is writing something.

01:12I can understand that.

01:13But what is the Pakistani coach writing?

01:15What is he writing?

01:16He is playing a cricket game on the laptop.

01:20People are telling him that he is out.

01:22He is telling them to leave him.

01:23He is telling them to count 12 and hit 12 sixes.

01:29The foreign coaches know what they are writing.

01:32Before our players learn cricket from them

01:35our foreign coaches learn our culture.

01:37He knows that he will be on leave after two or three series.

01:40So, he is writing his resignation on that page.

01:43He has written his resignation and he is ready to go.

01:45He knows that he will be punished if he loses the series.

01:48And he will also write the recipe of Biryani.

01:51Yes, that's right.

01:52That's right.

01:53But it's not the fault of our foreign coaches.

01:56Our own cricketers are also like that.

01:59How?

02:00The coach is telling him that he has a weakness.

02:04He keeps the ball away from his body.

02:06That's why he is out.

02:07He has a weakness.

02:09He is telling him to keep the ball away from his body.

02:12He is telling him to keep the ball close to his body.

02:14He is explaining him in a very good way.

02:15I have explained it to you.

02:16Now, you go inside and play.

02:18I have to wear gloves and a helmet.

02:20I have to wear gloves and a helmet.

02:22The world is watching me on TV.

02:23There is a commentary going on.

02:24I am wearing gloves and a helmet.

02:28Sorry, my commentary is in Hindi.

02:30I will change it.

02:33And I have to wear gloves and a helmet.

02:37I am out.

02:39I have to go inside again.

02:41Coach, this weakness is not going away from me.

02:43Is there any medicine?

02:45Yes.

02:49The physio has come from behind.

02:51This is the real Shilaji who has come from the Himalayas.

02:56The physio knows that his job is not confirmed here.

03:00There is a lot of confusion about jobs here.

03:02This is how our Pakistan is.

03:04It is always filled with confusion.

03:05I remember that people have made road signs in a very strange way.

03:09Not humans.

03:11When we climb the ring road, it is written there.

03:14Watch for water on road.

03:16Watch for water on road.

03:17Look at the water on the road.

03:19People are going to the car and looking here and there.

03:22I can't see the water.

03:24It is written there. Watch for water.

03:26Some people have parked the car on the side.

03:28I am a law abiding citizen.

03:30He is telling me to look at the water.

03:31I can't see the water.

03:32Where is the water?

03:33I will go if I see the water.

03:35Some people have made the cars faster.

03:37They think that the water will come out like a dacoit.

03:40Get me something. Otherwise, I will get wet.

03:44So, there is a lot of confusion.

03:46There is another road sign.

03:47Reduce speed when wet.

03:49What is this?

03:50A man is going in a car.

03:52He remembers how his girlfriend left him.

03:55He starts crying.

03:57I will slow down the car. My eyes will get wet.

04:01In the second car, a wife is telling her husband.

04:04Darling, do something. Munna's diaper is wet.

04:07He says, I will slow down the car.

04:09It is written there. Reduce speed when wet.

04:12So, this is how it is.

04:14There is a lot of confusion.

04:16What is there to do?

04:17What is there to do when you see water?

04:19Watch for water on road.

04:20Write, drive carefully on wet road.

04:24Okay?

04:25So, confusion.

04:26This is confusion.

04:26People spend their entire life in confusion.

04:28Mr. Agha is a great man.

04:31And he is a brilliant cook.

04:34Last time when I went there,

04:35there was a huge bulb in his room.

04:37So huge.

04:38And there was so much light.

04:39You were also present there.

04:40So much light.

04:41And I sat in front of it.

04:43I thought, so much light.

04:45It is time for me to write a book.

04:47I thought, so much light.

04:50So, I will go to him.

04:52I was flying.

04:54So, the deceased picked me up.

04:55Sir, this is not the same light.

04:56Mr. Agha has put a bulb.

04:58I said, okay. Thank God.

04:59But I don't understand.

05:01What is this huge bulb?

05:02Is there a problem in seeing Mr. Agha?

05:05I am not talking about the problem in seeing Mr. Agha.

05:08I am talking about the problem in seeing Mr. Agha.

05:11It is not that the light is dimmed.

05:13People say, Agha is lost.

05:15Where did he go?

05:17I can't find Agha.

05:19He is lying on the floor.

05:21Even if the light is dimmed,

05:24the person will still say,

05:26Mr. Agha is in pain.

05:28I mean, why is the light so dim?

05:30I don't understand why there is so much light.

05:32Then the door of the room opens.

05:36A man comes and says,

05:38Mr. Agha, I am here.

05:39Mr. Agha says, Vicky is staying with me these days.

05:48Then I understood that

05:49when Mr. Vicky came to Mr. Agha for the first time,

05:53he said, Mr. Agha, I am here.

05:55He said, I have been telling people all my life

05:59why I am in such a bad condition.

06:03Then he said, no, no, Mr. Agha, I didn't come to take you.

06:06I came to stay with you.

06:08Then Mr. Agha said, okay, you will stay with me.

06:10Come here, I will give you a hug.

06:14So, this was the story of that light.

06:16It's confusion. You get stuck in confusion.

06:18Mr. Agha started his career

06:21with a very holy business.

06:23I consider it to be a very holy business.

06:28All the customers of Mr. Agha

06:32were coming and fighting with him.

06:34They were saying, you are sewing my suit tightly.

06:36What have you done?

06:37Mr. Agha said, I am not sewing any tight suit.

06:40People are getting more angry.

06:41Mr. Agha has made a shirt out of the remaining clothes.

06:44They were fighting.

06:46They were saying, you are sewing my suit tightly.

06:48He said, I am not sewing it tightly.

06:49I am not sewing it tightly at all.

06:50In the meantime, his teacher came.

06:53I said, what happened?

06:54He said, he is the teacher.

06:55He said, I am sewing the suit tightly.

06:57I said, what have you done?

06:59He said, what have you made?

07:00He said, the remaining clothes are left.

07:02He said, okay.

07:04He said, how did you do it?

07:06He said, Mr. Agha, I have sewn the suit tightly.

07:09Look at this.

07:10One, two, three, four, five, six.

07:13Six meters in total.

07:14Mr. Agha said, son, if you are 52 years old

07:17then you will have a suit of 12 meters.

07:21All these people from Bannan

07:23came to me with a lot of confidence.

07:25They said, Mr. Agha, how many clothes did you sew in one suit?

07:29Wow!

07:31I got to know that you have made a suit of 12 meters.

07:33I said, sir, six meters.

07:35If it is a big suit, then four meters.

07:37And people like me..

07:40Even that is six meters.

07:40I said, six meters is a standard size.

07:44I said, okay.

07:45Now I know what to wear at home.

07:49And after that..

07:50What?

07:51The teacher asked, what should I do with the pyjamas?

07:54The teacher said, these are not pyjamas.

07:55These are underwears.

07:56Go and sell them on the river.

07:59Thank you very much, everyone.

08:07Viewers, this was today's show.

08:09We will meet you in the next show.

08:10Take care of yourselves.

08:12Goodbye.

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