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00:00How to do, how to do, how to do, racing fans! Welcome once again to the Calaboos Cal 495, marked down from 500 roadways!
00:22Yes indeedy, it's the 10th annual Mad Dash for the big cash one million smikers, and I'm not talking lips friends!
00:29How come nobody's ever won the race, Cal?
00:31Because nobody's ever finished the race, my dear! And nobody ever will, as long as it's my wad they're wheelin' for!
00:50This classic clash for Cal's stash is sponsored by the Calaboos Cal Car Company of Costa Mesa, California!
00:56But before the pedals hit the metal, friends, base your eyes on this little beauty!
01:03No, no, no, Mr. Cameraman, that's the wrong little beauty!
01:06Yes, friends, our racing day special, an almost new 1947 Buzzkirk bazooka!
01:11This out-of-sight driving delight can be yours for just the song, or even a note, a banknote that is!
01:16Got no credit? Cal don't care! Got no job? Cal don't care! Got no cash?
01:21That's when Cal cares! Now on with the race!
01:25All righty, friends, the big moment is here! Racing Lady, give him the gun!
01:30Okay, everybody! One, two, three, go!
01:39Oh, messy, messy, Racing Lady! You've wiped out half the cars on the track! What a shame!
01:44A shame she didn't cream them all, that is!
01:47Jerry must take an early lead! Tom Rechenoyterson tries to retrofire around his road rival!
01:52But Jerry's got the finesse to frustrate his feline foe!
01:56Just drive, boys, and try to keep up with my mile!
02:00There they go, friends, around the first turn!
02:03And speaking of turns, friends, don't forget to turn on that turn signal and turn into the Calaboos Cal Car Company of Costa Mesa, California,
02:10for a deal that'll turn your head, turn your pockets, and turn your stomach all at the same time!
02:14Got no license? Cal don't care! Got no insurance? Cal don't care! Got no money?
02:19That's when Cal cares!
02:22And now back to the race! Jerry's still holding the lead, but you can bet Tom has something up his sleeve!
02:30Uh-oh! Will Tom turn the tide by trundling his tiny antagonist? Will he make mincemeat out of this motoring mouse?
02:37We'll be back to see if this dirty deed gives Tom the lead,
02:39right after another TV special from the Calaboos Cal Car Company of Costa Mesa, California!
02:45Yes, friends, it's a low-mileage Roadhog ragtop made from only the finest rags!
02:52But best of all, check out the smooth running engine on that Roadhog! Racing Lady, turn it over!
02:57Sure thing, Cal!
03:02Gee, Cal, that was easy!
03:05And you too, friends, will flip over this fine car! Ooh, I'd like to flip you over a cliff!
03:12And now back to our thrilling road race!
03:24Oh, tough break there! Looks like Tom's out of the running!
03:28But wait! The plucky little pussycat is back in hot pursuit!
03:33But he's far behind the pack as they head into a series of hairpin turns!
03:39Simply amazing, friends! All the cars got through those curves without cracking up!
03:44But they're now headed for the most dangerous curves of all!
03:50Oh, petty, petty, petty, friends! All the rest of the cars are out of the race!
03:54Which means once again nobody wins the million-dollar prize!
03:57And I did so want to give away this lid full of loot!
04:00Wait, Cal! Tom and Jerry are still going strong! Look!
04:04Oh, no! I mean, oh, ho! Jerry's still in the lead!
04:14Now it's Tom in the lead! Now it's Jerry out in front!
04:23No, it's Jerry!
04:29No, it's Tom!
04:32No, it's Jerry again!
04:35Gee, Cal, it's gonna be neck and neck right to the finish!
04:38It's gonna be my neck if they do finish!
04:45Oh, that was a close one, friends!
04:47If I hadn't moved that faulty sign, our racers would have been in the soup!
04:54Oops! They're not in the soup, they're in the drink!
04:56That's what on me! Well, no cars, no race! And no race, no prize money!
05:01Just a minute, Cal! Look!
05:12Those guys are a pain in the...
05:27Here come Tom and Jerry down the home stretch!
05:30Nothing stops those wonderful guys! I can't get over it!
05:38Oh, yeah? Let's see them get over this!
05:42Tom and Jerry both win!
05:46And here's your prize, boys! One billion dollars!
05:52Well, that washes up the Calaboos Cal Car Company of Costa Mesa, California!
05:57Tune in next week, friends, for an all-new show,
05:59the Calaboos Cal Miracle Instant Weight Loss Program!