Frank The Tank
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SportsTranscript
00:00Go down. You see this is why I don't fucking make breakfast. I have to wake up at the crack of god damn motherfucking dawn
00:09and get this fucking ready. Breakfast is fucking hard.
00:15Bonja, bonja, bon appétit, let's eat. It's time for Tanks Cooks. Bonja, bonja, bon appétit, let's eat. It's time for Tanks Cooks. It's time, it's time, it's time once again.
00:34Alrighty, good morning, morning, morning, morning, morning, morning. We're making eggs benedict. Yes, that right. This has been sent to me by Trevor David from Highland Ridge, Colorado.
00:49I think that's where he's from. Sometimes I can't even read my own handwriting.
00:54All right, so we got this from Trevor David. So let's see how to make eggs benedict. I've never made eggs benedict before.
01:05We're going to start off. We're going to melt a little bit of butter in this little bit of saucepan. Half a stick to be exact.
01:14So let's melt down this butter. Meantime, we'll get some eggs ready. We got a.
01:24Got to get some eggs. Of course, we'll use our easy egg crackers, so we got to put four egg yolks in here.
01:36We're not yolking around. We're going to get four egg yolks.
01:45What do I think I'm supposed to? Huh? Oh, shit. Well, fuck me.
01:55I think I'm supposed to just put the egg yolk in there, not the white.
02:00All right, let me get to get it just to the egg yolk. So I'll pour the egg white into this mixture and this will help me drain it out.
02:11Drain out the white. Get just the yolk. We're not going to joke when we just get the yolk. Come on.
02:19Come on. Anticipation. Anticipation is making me crazy. There we go.
02:30So I'll put one egg yolk. It's actually attaches to the easy egg cracker.
02:39So let's get our easy egg cracker. Little attachment here. Attach it to the easy egg cracker.
02:47Of course, it's. All right, there we go. Here we go. Here we go. We shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up.
03:04There we go. Break the egg yolks. All right. Now our fourth one. There we go. We have four egg yolks.
03:18Well, damn it. Come on, motherfucker. All right, I guess I got to fish the egg yolk out here.
03:29That one didn't go as well as smoothly as it should have. All right, there we go. There's our four egg yolks.
03:36So we've got our egg yolk. So we have to whisk it in some lemon juice, about a tablespoon worth of lemon juice.
03:45So that means pouring a lot of lemon juice in. So I guess it's more or less a tablespoon.
04:02Of course, we'll put in some accent. We'll put in some paprika.
04:14Maybe a little too much paprika. We'll put in our garlic powder. We'll put in some salt.
04:28We'll put in some pepper. I mean, lemon pepper, that is. Where's my regular pepper? Regular pepper. Where are you?
04:48There you are. OK, now we have to whisk this up a little bit. Whisk it up. Whisk it up. Let's whisk this baby up.
05:04So it's supposed to be whisked up until it's a pale yellow. Ah, there we go. Here we go. We're getting a pale yellow.
05:10I might have put a little too much. We'll call it a hollandaise sauce. It might be the reddest hollandaise sauce ever made.
05:21All right, is our butter ready? Oh, yes it is. So now we're going to pour in our butter.
05:37Here it is. We are making a hollandaise sauce. All right, I think that's good. I think that's going to work.
05:51It's supposed to thicken up. I think this is working. Oh, yeah, that is nice.
06:00This could be the most fucked up egg benedict of all time, I think. I think I might be making this wrong.
06:09Whoops. I'll let you pour it back into the saucepan here. We're going to need to put it in the saucepan anyway.
06:24Now we're going to do part two where we actually make the egg.
06:29All right, what we got here is a pan. We're going to heat up this water and let it boil.
06:35In the meantime, we're going to be making it with some Taylor ham.
06:39The recipe calls for Canadian bacon, but this is Jersey and I'm using Taylor ham.
06:44All right, as you can see, we got our Taylor ham out here cooking.
06:53We got our little egg cups into the frying pan. Let's flip our Taylor ham.
06:59We'll pour a little bit of cooking spray into our cups here.
07:30All right, this water is starting to boil. Now we'll add in our eggs here.
07:35Let's get our pan on so we don't get our fire alarm going.
07:40Let's pour one egg in one cup.
07:47Since we're making poached eggs, I broke that egg.
07:51I'm putting it down. Hopefully I didn't break it too badly.
08:01Oh, fuck me. Here we go.
08:07Oops, fell out of the egg in that one.
08:10And now we have to cover this up. So we poach it, about three to five minutes it will take.
08:19I think I might have used a pan that's a little too small for poaching.
08:23Taylor ham off the burner before it burners some more.
08:28Got a nice crunchy Taylor ham. You know, you got the Taylor ham, you got the traditional Pac-Man cut.
08:33You get it short, you see that? It comes out like Pac-Man.
08:38While these eggs are finishing, let's heat up our hollandaise sauce just a little bit.
08:45Hollandaise sauce, hollandaise sauce.
08:51I think our English muffins might be done. Here we go.
08:55Yep, they're done.
08:56Let's start by buttering up this English muffin.
08:59And we'll get ready to plate our friggin' meal.
09:03Buttered English muffin.
09:07All right, now that we buttered up this English muffin, let's get our plate here.
09:12We can start trying to plate this damn thing.
09:15So let's get our muffins onto a plate and see how these eggs came out.
09:21Oh, I think they might have came out all right despite our challenges.
09:28We'll make one first just to see how it looks.
09:33Let's grab our egg cup out of here. Hopefully we don't burn our little fingers.
09:40And now we'll take a little spatchy spatula and put it onto top of the English muffin.
09:47Like that.
09:49We'll save the other one aside for our next one.
09:52But I'm just doing one for the show.
09:55One to go. I'll put this over to the side here.
09:58All right, here we go.
10:00We got our egg. We'll put our...
10:03We actually should have put our whatchamacallit on top.
10:06So let's pick up this egg and put it under...
10:12Ay, ay, ay.
10:14Under our...
10:17Ooh, poached our egg a little bit.
10:19That's all right.
10:21Now we'll pour over our hollandaise sauce.
10:24And this will be our eggs benedict.
10:30Eggs benedict.
10:34Eggs benedict.
10:38Eggs benedict.
10:44God damn it.
10:47All right, well, it's time to plate the meal, you know.
10:51This might be the most fucked up eggs benedict ever made.
10:55But thanks nonetheless, Trevor David.
10:57Let's see how it actually tastes.
10:59It doesn't quite look like what eggs benedict should be, but hey, what the fuck.
11:07I suck at making breakfast.
11:10Everyone knows that.
11:19Yep.
11:24Yeah.
11:26I suck at making breakfast.
11:28But hey, monza, monza, bon appetit.
11:32And if you know a recipe that I should eat, send it to njtake99 at gmail.com.
11:40Because you just never know how much I could fuck something up.
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