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00:00I was just refreshing my memory of Kipling's great poem, Gunga Din. Now, in our version, I play the starring role, Gunga Din, humble servant to the whole British army.
00:11I help fight that evil tribesman, Hamzilla, who burns my village and kidnaps my grandson. But we chase him across the burning sand, marching through the scorching Indian sun.
00:23Why, it's enough to drive a man to drink. Oh, water! Water! I can smell the night-blooming jasmine. In fact, I can taste it.
00:36Well, if I'm going to play Gunga Din, I'd better get back to studying my lines. Let's see now. Where was I? Marinate for three hours, and then let simmer and...
00:48Oh, those soldiers may have been thirsty, but by George, they sure ate well.
01:25My little grandson likes that. It's so good for him. It makes him grow.
01:31Here! What? Oh! Oh, no! No, it can't be! No! No, it's too terrible! My village! It burned to the ground! Everything gone!
01:45Oh, no! Ali, my little grandson! My friends! Oh, no! Where are they? Oh, what is this? A dagger! It is from the tribe of Hamzilla, the wild people from the north.
01:57They have taken everyone prisoner. They will sell them into slavery. All of them! My grandson Ali! I am all alone. Oh, never shall I see them again!
02:08No, no! I must follow and find them. At least that way, I'll not die alone. Babu! Babu! Where are you? Oh, he's gone. Run off. I don't blame you, Babu. At least you have someone to go to.
02:23I've lost the trail. I can't see. It's too dark. A horse. Oh, they must be near.
02:39Ali! Little Ali! We must not wake the guard, Ali. You found us, Grandpa. They burned the village. Hamzilla? Yes. He's sleeping over in that tent.
03:03Oh, if only I could get to him. It would do no good. There are too many of them. Yes, yes, Ali, you are right. I can only join you and hope that we will be sold as slaves together.
03:13No, Grandpa. You must hurry off and bring the soldiers. I heard Hamzilla's men talking about an outpost to the south. You must go there and bring the soldiers to save us.
03:23But, but how can I leave you and the others? You must, Grandpa. It is the only hope for us. Hurry, go. Be brave, my grandson, and tell the others when they awake.
03:45Wait, friend, may I ask you something? I am looking for a garrison of soldiers to the south. Do you know where it is? I was their water carrier until this morning. You left them? They're crazy. They want to fight Hamzilla. I am in no hurry to die.
04:02But I can tell the soldiers where he is. I was in Hamzilla's camp last night. You were in Hamzilla's camp? Yes, but they did not know it. And where is their camp? Just over those hills. Wait, wait, you have not told me where the garrison of soldiers is.
04:20It is an hour's journey on that trail south. May Allah protect you.
04:34Sergeant Blevins! Sergeant Blevins reporting, sir.
04:39Full packs for today, Sergeant. We march to the Carson Hills and drill in our battle maneuvers.
04:45Begging your pardon, Captain Plimpton, sir, but with this blasted heat and full packs, some of the men are new out here.
04:53Sergeant, are you an uncommissioned officer of the Khyber Rifles or a nursemaid to a gaggle of Poppin' Jays? You may carry out your orders and be sure my horse has plenty of oats.
05:03Yes, sir.
05:05All right, you stragglers, look alive! You're not here to play ring-around-the-rosies!
05:11Oh, that must be the Sahib in charge. I'll talk to him.
05:16Stop that blabbing in the ranks. You'll have plenty to talk about by tonight, if you can still talk by then.
05:24Please, Sahib, begging pardon, I can be of help to you. I would like to be a soldier.
05:37Oh, you would, would you? See those mountains? Well, soldier, put yourself to the other side of them as fast as your own legs will carry you.
05:47Now, whoop it, old men!
05:49But, Sahib, I have just come from those mountains. Hamzilla and his men are there. I could, I could lead you to him.
05:57Sure, sure. And while you're at it, you could lead us to the fountain of youth. Now, clear out before we march over you.
06:07Corporal, all present and accounted for?
06:10No, Sergeant.
06:13Corporal, all present and accounted for?
06:16No, Sergeant. Waterboy's missing.
06:18What happened to him?
06:20He just took off. When I went looking for another boy, the rest of the natives all scampered to the hills like kangaroos.
06:27They're all afraid of Hamzilla and his bandy cutthroats.
06:31Oh, we're in the soup now. If you think that sun's hot, wait till you see the captain's collar when he hears about this.
06:39But please, Sahib, I will gladly be your beastie, your water carrier.
06:44You still here, old leatherface? You wouldn't last an hour with us under that sizzling sun.
06:50True, I'm old, Sahib, but like an old bird, I'm tough.
06:55We're not looking for our dinner. We want someone to carry our water.
07:01All I ask is that you try me, Sahib.
07:04What can you lose, Sergeant? Even he will be better than having the captain see an empty space in the ranks.
07:10Hmm. What's your name?
07:12Oh, oh, Gunga Din, Sahib. And to help destroy Hamzilla, I will do anything you ask. I will serve you with my last breath.
07:21How old are you?
07:23How old are those mountains? No one knows, but they are strong and can carry much on their backs.
07:29Din, I'll make a bargain with you. I'll make you water carrier for the march today.
07:34Oh, you are most kind, Sahib.
07:36Din, you'll be given no special treatment because of your age. If you can take it, the job is yours from now on.
07:44I am your slave, Sahib.
07:46Here, Din, none of that. Things are military round here. We don't salam to nobody. We salute.
07:54Corporal, get him an army jacket or some kind and a water bag.
07:58Ready, Sergeant?
08:00Yes, Captain.
08:01You may proceed.
08:04Right face!
08:06Sergeant Blivens!
08:08Yes, Captain.
08:10What do you call that?
08:13Our new water boy, sir.
08:16New? He looks like a very ancient water boy to me.
08:19Please, please, Sahib, Captain. Do not judge this humble book by its cover.
08:25Well, Sergeant, it's your responsibility. See that he doesn't fall behind. Carry on, Sergeant.
08:32Mind you, up to it, Din, or it'll be your eyes, scalp and neck all at the same time and together.
08:39I shall make you very pleased, Sahib. All the men will have water, water when they call for it.
08:46Now, in ancient sunny time, where I used to spend me time as servant of Her Majesty the Queen,
08:53of all them odd-faced crew, the finest man I knew was our regimental beastie, Ganga Din.
09:01Din, water!
09:03Yes, sir.
09:05Of all them odd-faced crew, the finest man I knew was our regimental beastie, Ganga Din.
09:13Din, water!
09:15Din, up here, old man!
09:17Up here, old boy!
09:19Water!
09:20Water, Din!
09:21Water, here, Din!
09:23It was Din, Din, Din! Where the mischief have you been?
09:28You put some water in it, or I'll pummel you this minute if you don't fill up this helmet, Ganga Din.
09:35Platoon, halt!
09:38We are here, Sergeant. Have my tent pitched there under that tree.
09:43We shall assume that the enemy is over there in those rocks.
09:46Now, your orders are to break into individual squads and flank him.
09:50Each head I see exposed for more than two seconds shall be a point against us.
09:55I shall be watching through these glasses.
09:58Oh, uh, Sergeant, send the waterboy to my tent. I need a spot of tea.
10:02Yes, sir.
10:04All right, men, you heard what the captain said. Up to it, lively like.
10:08Bugler!
10:13Fine, Sahib. I can tell you how to fight Hamzilla. He always goes to the high places and...
10:18Oh, man, I don't see any officers' pips on your shoulders.
10:22Now, get some water to the captain on the double.
10:25Then stay with the men and keep their whistles wet.
10:28Yes, Sahib, yes.
10:33I am your servant, Captain. I have nice, fresh water for you.
10:37Fill that pot and be quick about it.
10:39Yes, sir. Now, if you fight Hamzilla, I will tell you how.
10:43You must never let him...
10:44Will you stop babbling and hurry it up with that water?
10:47I will hurry, Sahib. I will pour it. I will pour it.
10:51Oh, you fool! Are you trying to drown me?
10:54Oh, Sahib, forgive me. Yes, forgive me.
10:56Look what you've done. You've ruined my uniform.
11:00You may beat me, Sahib. I was only trying to help.
11:03You bastard! Fool you!
11:15That Gungateen simply must go, Blivins.
11:18If I didn't know better, I'd say he was an enemy spy sent here to destroy me.
11:22I'd put him on kitchen police, Captain. I'll replace him.
11:26You'll have to conduct the security inspection without me, Blivins.
11:29That ruddy waterboy and his blooming bungling brought on my blasted gout.
11:34Very sorry, Sahib.
11:35And take every precaution against these heathen tribesmen.
11:38They even infiltrate and attack by night. Most unsporting of them.
11:42Indeed it is, Sahib.
11:44I'd carry on, Sergeant.
11:46Oh, problems.
11:52Ali. Ali.
11:54Oh, oh, where? A dagger! Oh, no, no, no!
11:58Gene, what in blazes are you doing out here?
12:01Oh, I'm sleeping, Sahib. I do not want to disturb anyone.
12:06Yeah. Corporal of the Guard!
12:09You're going to put me in the guardhouse?
12:11I ought to, after what you did to the captain today.
12:14I was only trying so hard to please.
12:17You tried too hard.
12:19Hello, Sarge. Trouble with the old gout?
12:22I don't want him to freeze to death before we get rid of him.
12:25Wouldn't look good.
12:27Get him a blanket, Corporal.
12:29Oh, Sahib, you were a kind man.
12:31Nothing of the sort, old man. I'm just a soldier doing me duty.
12:36Then, Sahib, I beg you to give me another chance to do mine.
12:40What are you trying to do, old man? Get yourself killed?
12:43You need a water carrier, and I try to help you.
12:46Haven't you friends or a family?
12:49An old blighter like you shouldn't be scrambling through the rocks like a monkey on a stick.
12:54Well, I had a warm hut and a family, and then Hamzilla raided our village.
12:59I was away, and when I returned, all I had and loved was gone,
13:03and you soldiered here to fight Hamzilla.
13:05Now, do you understand why I want to help you?
13:09Hmm. We're professionals, Dean. We gets paid for it.
13:13I will be paid, too, in the memory of my son and my grandson.
13:18Well, it may mean me stripes, but be at the mess hall at dawn now, and no oversleeping.
13:27Yes, Sahib. Yes, Sahib. A thousand thanks, Sahib. Yes.
13:32Get some sleep, old cotcher. Come on, Corporal.
13:37Yes. I'll rest when I have seen Hamzilla in destroyed.
13:52Here it is, sir. An immediate answer respectfully requested.
13:57Hmm. Hamzilla and his men attacked and destroyed a camel train in Khyber Pass yesterday.
14:03You are ordered to pursue the attackers and take whatever steps necessary to destroy them.
14:09Send this reply, signalman. Message received. We'll proceed on your orders immediately. Plimpton.
14:16Come, Blivins. At last, we have something to break this boredom.
14:23Everything on the double, Blivins. We wouldn't want to miss this chance now, would we?
14:27The men are snapping to it, sir.
14:30Reporting for duty, Sahib.
14:32Sergeant Blivins, didn't I tell you to get rid of that fellow?
14:35Do you know what disobeying an order means? Next time, I shall have your stripes for it.
14:40You heard the captain's orders, Dean. Be off and step lively.
14:44Sahib, but I must go with you. You know what getting Hamzilla means to me.
14:49If I die, it doesn't matter. I die happy.
14:53I know what it means to you, old fella, but I ain't running the show.
14:57I will hide from him, Sahib.
14:59Orders is orders, Dean, and you heard them. Make yourself scarce or we're both in the soup.
15:06All right, you lucky chips. Fall in and look alive about it.
15:27Stop lying, you old faker. Back to wherever you're going, and it better be that way.
15:58Oh, I'm sorry, Sahib. I was just taking a shortcut to Rangoon.
16:03Oh, could I serve you some cool, fresh water?
16:08This is your last chance, Dean. Once more and all of you flogged.
16:20Dean!
16:21Whip me to death, Sahib. Only first let me help you fight Hamzilla.
16:25Dean, hand me your sandals.
16:27Please, Sahib. Oh, the rocks are hard and sharp.
16:31If I have to take them off, I might take your feet with them.
16:37You silly old empty-headed bag of bones. This may save your life.
16:48Captain, look out! Hamzilla, he's above you!
16:56Deploy and take cover!
17:02Well, there went the ammo wagon, sir. The water's gone.
17:05Rotten luck. I could swear that the voice who warned us was that water boy, Ganga D.
17:11Impossible, sir. Oh, you've lost your water, canteen captain.
17:16Better take this. Looks like a long, blistering afternoon.
17:20Water? Oh, never touch the stuff, blivvins. Now, back to your flank.
17:36Missed. Lost it. Can't draw a proper bead. Heat wave's too heavy.
17:41Why don't the savages charge us?
17:44Why should they? Runny heat, by sunset, none of us will be able to sight a rifle.
17:49They'll make their move then.
17:54How are your men, corporal?
17:56How can you expect them to be in this blistering oven without a drop of water?
18:00It ain't humid, it ain't. Five years in this desert and I never saw a scorcher like this.
18:06Well, we've got to hang on till dark.
18:08With no water? Hamzilla played it like a fox.
18:12Water? Water? Who wants water?
18:16Glory be, it's Ganga D.
18:20It's the heat, corporal. Got your ear in things.
18:23Nice fresh water.
18:25Look, it is D.
18:27Got your seeing things, too.
18:31Gene! Over here, D, no boy.
18:35Gene, keep your head up.
18:39Keep your head down.
18:43Gene.
18:44You, you see, I was right. You needed me. Yes, I can help you.
18:49Then it was you who shouted a warning from above.
18:52I was up on the rocks and I could see Hamzilla.
18:55Yeah, I know how he fights.
18:57Gene! Water, Gene!
19:00Gene! Over here! Water, Gene!
19:03Gene! Over here! Water!
19:06Gene! Water! Water, Gene!
19:09Libbins, this is the second time today you've disobeyed my orders about that water boy.
19:14I shall have your stripes for this and this miserable old wretch will be flogged until...
19:23Captain!
19:24Here you are, Captain. Nice fresh water.
19:31Gene, you'll be killed.
19:34Leave me here. That's an order.
19:38Stand by, Gene. You can make it.
19:45You're safe, sir. Gene got you out of range.
19:48Gene! Gene! Come back!
19:52Never mind the water bag, you leather-headed idiot!
19:56I got him, sir. It's the end of Hamzilla.
19:59Blocked him right proper.
20:01Good, sir. Order a charge, Blibbins.
20:04This is the moment.
20:06Charge!
20:07Avoid the blighters!
20:09Charge!
20:13You'll be all right, Gene.
20:15We'll get good medical care.
20:17We've smashed the water boy.
20:20So, I'll meet you later on in the place where you have gone.
20:25Where it's always double drill and no canteen.
20:29I'll be back.
20:31I'll be back.
20:33I'll be back.
20:35I'll be back.
20:37I'll be back.
20:39I'll be back.
20:41I'll be back.
20:43I'll be back.
20:45I'll be back.
20:47I'll be back.
20:49I'll be back.
20:51I'll be back.
20:53I'll be back.
20:55I'll be back.
20:57I'll be back.