• last year
Rone | The Nicest
Transcript
00:00Barstool Sports, New Amsterdam Vodka, we here in New York City, the nicest, make some noise y'all!
00:10You guys have already been the nicest crowd, I am your host Organic, we got some gentlemen with me.
00:15Welcome to New York City, my name Penn, I'm from Brooklyn, how the fuck y'all feeling y'all?
00:23And of course, all the nicest battles brought to you by New Amsterdam Vodka, you might see a little bit missing at the top
00:28because I've been drinking, okay? Let's get into it, we got an absolute classic coming.
00:34Battler to my right, introduce yourself!
00:37Real sick, I'm about to compliment the shit out this guy.
00:43Battler to my left, introduce yourself!
00:46Chilla Jones, kingpin of New England, TBO shit.
00:49Make some noise y'all!
00:50Make some noise y'all!
00:55And with the theme of the event of course, Chilla Jones was nice enough to choose to go first, let's go.
01:00Quiet down, quiet down!
01:02So our first battle was four years ago, before you started taking it over.
01:07I'm one of the first big names in this game that really gave you exposure.
01:12Usually I try angles in a round to exit square, like a PlayStation controller.
01:17But today, I get to break down your greatness with the greatest composure.
01:23With this physique...
01:32With this physique, he's like a statue on display at the MoMA.
01:38He's like Atlas, carrying the world's weight on his shoulders.
01:43Barstool did a poll, then they started surveying the voters.
01:48And guess which battle rapper they chose for looks most like Jason Momoa.
02:02He went to see a fan in the hospital, signed paperwork to make him a donor.
02:07But Six Breath was such a sacred aroma that every patient would awake from their comas real sick.
02:15Real sick, made him heal quick.
02:26Real sick, made him heal quick.
02:29The doctors didn't want to believe.
02:31And you would think with all of this muscle, he couldn't fit a trick under his sleeve.
02:35He couldn't fit a trick under his sleeve.
02:38And the hair...
02:40And the hair under his turban...
02:43I mean, it's long like a bundle of weave, a lustrous sheen.
02:47I think Rapunzel would be humbled and leave, but me?
02:52Shit, I've been balding since age 30.
02:56I'm shocked it ain't occurred sooner.
02:59While he's walking around like a Middle Eastern Chris Hemsworth Jr.
03:02Chris Hemsworth Jr.
03:03I mean, whose body...
03:06I mean, whose body would you rather have?
03:09I'll wait.
03:13I know, I'm the for sure loser.
03:16He said, do you even lift, bro?
03:18I said, nah, I prefer an Uber.
03:19But I get it.
03:23But I get it.
03:25I'm just another battle rapper that's Shakulavin.
03:28You know, Illmac whispered in my ear, I should ruin him.
03:32I said...
03:48I said, but this is my fucking dog, so I gotta stay true to him.
03:52Plus, he's so fucking gifted, look.
03:55They even made two of him.
04:03Now, normally, I'd be telling the kids, you suck, but not today.
04:08I'm a biggity, biggity, big you up.
04:11That's where I was going.
04:16Red one, it's all real sick.
04:18Let's get nice.
04:25Yo.
04:27I did want a biggity, biggity, big you up.
04:30I did want a biggity, biggity, big you up.
04:33But you already diggity, diggity, did too much.
04:41Hey.
04:43Chiller Jones.
04:46So calm and soothing to talk to when he calls you.
04:49They don't bill your phone.
04:55My boy Quiet can eat a bag of Doritos next to you.
04:59And you'll think that you're still alone.
05:05You could be far away from the crib, but when he dap you, you're gonna feel at home.
05:12He's only called the cops on one person.
05:15Some dude named Sean Diddy Combs.
05:26My boy.
05:30Came out a man, wasn't even born a boy.
05:39Came out a man, wasn't even born a boy.
05:42If you heard him say a word, then you overjoyed.
05:45Girls adore him, says he has permanent morning voice.
05:53He could hum and get a meditative response.
05:56Crumble women with the way that he talks.
05:58So fun to listen to.
05:59They label his bars unintentional ASMR.
06:05He's less known for the pen, but his personality shows his best moments.
06:09He's such an active listener that chicks friendzone him.
06:12He's such an active listener that chicks friendzone him.
06:26Then bone him.
06:36How I only got a minute to compliment him.
06:38His mind is thinking 100 miles a minute.
06:40Can read any kind of literature, adopt a signature, and transcribe Egyptian hieroglyphics.
06:46Went to church and confessed in confidence to ask for God's forgiveness.
06:49Forgot no sins that require repentance, so God asked him to swap positions.
06:55Bald ass head.
06:59That's not a dig, it's my description.
07:02Doesn't want other bald people to feel jealous, so he rocks a fitted.
07:09His forehead doesn't shine, it glistens.
07:12Girls use it.
07:19Bald ass head.
07:20That's not a dig, it's my description.
07:22Doesn't want other bald people to feel jealous, so he rocks a fitted.
07:25His forehead doesn't shine, it glistens.
07:27Girls use the reflection to do their makeup, and when their eye line is finished,
07:30it looks like they visited a luxury spa salon beautician.
07:35Compton menace.
07:37Compton menace.
07:41Renaissance musician.
07:43Fulfilled all his mama's wishes.
07:45Could yell and make his father listen.
07:47Plays football in socks and slippers.
07:50Gets lots of women.
07:51Cause he's positive and optimistic.
07:53Even just DM'd Kendrick and asked him to stop dropping disses.
08:02He met with mobsters and admitted he's the reason Jimmy Hopper's missing.
08:06But since he never lies, his job description is still an honest living.
08:10Walking truth.
08:11Walking truth serum.
08:13Helps cops get criminals locked in prison cause he can perfectly describe every crime he witnessed.
08:18Haters will call it snitching.
08:20But nowadays...
08:31Social butterfly.
08:34He really lived that life.
08:36You give him a five, he'll give you a five too.
08:39Like Ilmax height.
08:50He'd been begging for a battle.
08:52If I snuffed him for talking all that shit, he would tell the cops that you walked into my fist.
09:07They said I can't diss him, not you.
09:16He probably gonna help sponsor this battle and be paying me more.
09:20And regardless of the frame of this dork, he'll make sure I ain't taking a short.
09:24I wanna drop you now.
09:26But I'm gonna stop this round.
09:28They call you Chilla.
09:30Cause you the only one that can calm me down.
09:36But when he's not around, I'm gonna stomp you.
09:40Hey yo.
09:41You gotta be nice back bro.
09:43Get polite.
09:45Politer next time.
09:48I said y'all wanna hear the coolest story?
09:51I was late to rehearsal.
09:53All around just moving poorly.
09:55I parked my spark car in a two hour lot where the meter maids are super corny.
09:59They like to wait by your license plate.
10:01Write a ticket and hit you for 40.
10:03I had to move it in 10 minutes but I couldn't while these dudes record me.
10:06You know what Six said?
10:08Let me finish up this protein shake and I'll do it shortly.
10:18And before I could toss him my keys, he went outside, picked it up and moved it for me.
10:34What a specimen.
10:37It's evident.
10:39Like wow.
10:41What's your regimen?
10:43It's excellent.
10:45Like how confident do you feel around us lesser men?
10:54This round is just a testament to the fact that you're heaven sent.
10:57You're built like a god and you smell like heaven sent.
11:04But he's a personal trainer now so he overstands his business.
11:08Women drooling over handsome pictures going to enhance his riches.
11:11So he's working on his shoulders.
11:13He's focused and relentless.
11:15Mobbed by hopeful random bitches at your local Planet Fitness.
11:20But I've witnessed your commitment to your fiance.
11:24The faithfulness shows.
11:26On his IG at realsick99 you can scroll through the engagement pics slow.
11:31And underneath it says how they can't wait to get married.
11:34Celebrate and get old.
11:36How he's her hero.
11:37How she's the love that resonates in his soul.
11:40How they can't wait to honeymoon in Jamaica and vacation in Rome.
11:44And what do I think organics?
11:46Hashtag relationship gold.
11:50And normally I'd be telling the kids you suck.
11:54But not today.
11:55I'm here to biggity, biggity, big you up.
11:58Round two.
11:59Let's go.
12:00Round two.
12:01New incident.
12:02Vodka time.
12:03Real sick.
12:04Let's go.
12:05Hey, hey, hey.
12:06Y'all want to hear something about my boy Chilla?
12:09Two words.
12:11Monthly mania.
12:14They said he has perfectly oval cuticles.
12:17Beautiful.
12:19Self-control around the hose.
12:22They get close but won't get through to you.
12:24Every chick that he's dated head to toe is beautiful.
12:27I even heard his exes attend like Roman numerals.
12:30Ooh.
12:32Ooh.
12:34Ooh.
12:36Ooh.
12:38Ooh.
12:40Ooh.
12:42Ooh.
12:45My boy, he donates to animal relief.
12:49Toss Peter a quick thousand.
12:51Laughter.
12:57Treated so many women like queens you can't even begin counting.
13:00If you heard he's in an abusive relationship,
13:03that don't mean he going to get pissed and be swinging his fists around him.
13:06That just means that a chick is beating the shit out of him.
13:08Laughter.
13:11Help.
13:13Laughter.
13:19My boy, that's my boy.
13:21Laughter.
13:26A true contender for the best human ever.
13:30He'll memorize your name so he don't have to assume your gender.
13:34Laughter.
13:39When all of them fans thought that Olympic boxer was trans,
13:45he'd respond to them saying,
13:47you're just jealous you don't got any hands.
13:49Laughter.
13:56He's inspired incels to procreate.
13:58Laughter.
14:06He's inspired incels to procreate.
14:08So much so that when they overturned Roe v. Wade,
14:11he started to promote BJ's.
14:13Laughter.
14:17He's lying.
14:19We used to work out and go each day,
14:21but it was unfair.
14:23He drank one protein shake,
14:25gained OD weight,
14:26and started a row three plates.
14:27I know what y'all thinking.
14:29He out of shape now.
14:31But he taught me what the habit of fitness is.
14:34He was the personal trainer.
14:36Had a certificate.
14:37Passed me a membership.
14:38Bodybuilder on the low.
14:39Kept his clothes baggy and hid the shit.
14:41Hit him back with him thinking that his max is ridiculous.
14:44Thought he couldn't move the whole lat weight rack,
14:46but he lifted it.
14:47Benched twice as much as me.
14:48I was always sad when we hit the gym.
14:50He was always lifting more.
14:52That's why he packed on a little bit.
14:54He knew I was insecure.
14:55He ain't fat.
14:56He's considerate.
14:57Laughter.
15:00Stop being mean.
15:04This is what actual friendship is.
15:08We get something to eat,
15:09he'll grab the check and cover the feed
15:11and tip a hundred at least.
15:12In the gym, I had heavy dumbbells with me.
15:14I said, can you spot me?
15:15He pulled out a stack of cash.
15:17Like, how much do you need?
15:18Laughter.
15:21Tripled my dollars for every one.
15:23It was three.
15:24Ended up walking out with a couple of Gs.
15:27Amazing handshakes.
15:29If you never dap him, know it's worth it.
15:31He's a master at curling his fingers,
15:33and the clap from it is perfect.
15:35Laughter.
15:39Let's hear it.
15:41Let's hear it.
15:42Here we go.
15:45He's a natural wordsmith.
15:46Raps without curses.
15:48Doesn't practice his verses,
15:49because photographic memory here don't have to rehearse them.
15:52He's an overachiever.
15:54I told him to freestyle more and actively learn it
15:57and get better at rapping off the head,
15:58and he came back with a turban.
16:00Laughter.
16:05He's nice as fuck.
16:06Let's go.
16:09Applause.
16:19So a group of homeless guys asked us for money.
16:24They were hungry and their faces were famished.
16:27But my therapist says I'm a people pleaser,
16:29and sometimes they be taking advantage.
16:31So I said no.
16:32Six said the same thing.
16:35Suddenly they became impatient and frantic.
16:37Started balling the same fists they were shaking their cans with.
16:40So I stepped back, pulled out two butterfly blades that I branded,
16:44gave one to Six.
16:45I said, now y'all gonna be taking some damage.
16:47She started flipping it, twisting it.
16:49I said, body's finna lay on a canvas
16:52till he pulls out a jar of peanut butter
16:54and made him a sandwich.
16:56What compassion.
16:57Laughter.
17:05What compassion.
17:07What empathy.
17:09You say God is an energy.
17:11Well, I bet you could make an atheist pray for his enemies.
17:15Now listen.
17:19He'll probably say that I'm the kingpin and I got the crown when I write.
17:23Or how a few weeks ago I threw the event of the year in my town,
17:26and he's right.
17:27But what he won't say, how we came down on his price.
17:30How we stayed back when everybody else went out for a bite.
17:33Practicing his raps, making sure everything sounded precise.
17:36Working hard because he knew we had a crowd to excite.
17:39Then showed up with three of the best rounds of the night
17:42and had the nerve to thank me when I paid him.
17:46Didn't bother even counting it twice.
17:49No, thank you for always making sure your performances amount to the hype.
17:52No, thank you for not taking advantage of our culture for no clout or no stripes.
17:57And thank you for never wanting to throw hands.
18:01I'm too old to be on the ground in a fight.
18:03Laughter.
18:10Man, I'd have been laid out.
18:12Sounded worse than Shannon Sharp getting down on his live.
18:14Astoundingly nice.
18:16You wowed him the night and I did too.
18:18Yup.
18:19And that's why today I had to biggity, biggity, big you up.
18:24Let's go.
18:28Round three, it's on set.
18:29Let's go.
18:30I heard about you in your Ivy League college.
18:35All your professors was cool because you passed every test you would do.
18:39The class knew you were the best in the room.
18:41The dean mentioned it too.
18:43So you purposely got suspended from school
18:45so the rest of the students wouldn't feel lesser than you.
18:49Got the best baby mamas.
18:51Incredible father.
18:52Every chick he got pregnant is honored
18:54because he put the genetics of God to develop inside her.
18:58One of his girls wanted an abortion but didn't like the regular process,
19:01so he presented a set of new options
19:03and instead of a medical doctor, he recommended to send her to Gaza.
19:08I taught him why he should say free Palestine
19:10and now his set is his mantra.
19:12Wishes everybody with Netanyahu death because they're monsters.
19:16If you don't go bar hopping at night with him, y'all sorry.
19:19He's a Dem-Republican.
19:20He's invited to all parties.
19:27Donated a Kamala, threw a parade when Biden won,
19:30wants to run background checks but still got a gun.
19:33Found out Walt Disney was racist so we don't watch his stuff.
19:36The only time he said Donald Duck is when that guy shot at Trump.
19:40Aggressive.
19:46Relax, man.
19:48You rich motherfucker.
19:51Watched the presidential debate from your residential estate.
19:55Saw them bickering back and forth and said it's best they should date.
19:59Defended everyone's case.
20:01Trump said they're eating cats and dogs.
20:03He stepped in like he meant to say it's raining cats and dogs.
20:06It's a level-headed mistake.
20:10Yeah.
20:11I'm exposing all your attributes.
20:14Expose him.
20:15Expose him.
20:17I don't know if y'all know this but we battle too.
20:19Remember you had bars about my religion?
20:22And the moment when the raps were through I told you I was mad at you?
20:25He wasn't showing me no attitude.
20:27Said if hitting him helps my emotions get relaxed,
20:29I should go with what I had to do.
20:31So I looked in my hands, raised them both and I attacked this dude.
20:34Got to throw him in the grass, broke a bone up in his clavicle.
20:37Hit his nose until it cracked in two.
20:39Eyes swollen till they black and blue.
20:41And most of them was badly bruised but only because he asked me to.
20:46I need a consent.
20:48He admitted he's a ghostwriter.
20:50He's on the phone with legends, helping them think of dope connections.
20:53Then calls their opponents next like you should do a roasting session.
20:56A legendary match gets locked in and he does yoga stretches
21:00because he knows his pentacontroller ended.
21:02He's the coach's joint of Lucas, writing battles from both perspectives.
21:08I showed my fiancé your battles and we both like your style.
21:13I'm getting married next year so can you ghostwrite my vows?
21:21You got me?
21:22I got you.
21:23Go write them down.
21:27No, like, right now.
21:31Make some noise for me up here in Georgia.
21:38That shit was beautiful.
21:39That shit was masterful.
21:41That shit was perfect, bro.
21:42Exactly what it's supposed to be.
21:43Hell yeah.

Recommended