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00:00I've given up on trying to be cooler than I am.
00:02I stopped trying to dress cooler than I am.
00:05You learn a lot when you do that, by the way.
00:07You learn you're not pulling off what you're wearing
00:10if someone says what you're wearing to you.
00:13Recently, I wore a leather jacket,
00:15and my best friend was like, leather jacket.
00:18He said it like I had a weapon.
00:21He's like, somebody get it from him.
00:22He's got a leather jacket.
00:24That's not good.
00:25Every time I've tried to look cooler than I am,
00:26I end up looking like those cell phone towers
00:28that are trying to look like trees.
00:32You know, people are like, we see what you're going for,
00:33and it's not natural.
00:35We know it's you.
00:36Yeah, my friends, they're still trying, you know.
00:38My friends do cool sneakers.
00:39I'll buy shoes if I like them,
00:40but I don't do the stuff that they do.
00:42My friends, they clean their shoes.
00:43They're obsessed.
00:44By the way, if you're a sneakerhead, that's fine,
00:46but if somebody's complimenting you on just your shoes,
00:48that means they scanned your entire body
00:50and couldn't find anything until they got to your feet.
00:54Don't quit at the ankle, you know.
00:55They're like, no, no, no.
00:57Oh, look at those, buddy.
00:58It's not good.