Relationships: Trust & Broken expectations || Acharya Prashant (2023)

Acharya Prashant

‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquir...   Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?...   Read 3 handpicked wisdom articles, just for you: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articl...  ➖➖➖➖➖➖  Video Information: 14.06.2023, GSE, Greater Noida  Context:   आत्मज्ञान के प्रकाश में, अंधे कर्म सब त्याग दो  निराश हो निर्मम बनो, तापरहित बस युद्ध हो  (Poetic meaning of the Gita verse by Acharya Prashant)  Bhagavad Gita - 3.30  नीर पियावत क्या फिरू, सागर घर-भर बारी । त्रिशावंत जे होवेंगे, सो पिवेंगे झख मारी।। ~ कबीर साहब  ~ What is the main purpose of a relationship? ~ Why do bad relationships happen? ~ How does the right relationship get nourishment? ~ What mistakes do we make in relationships? ~ What is our real purpose? ~ What is our real Love?   Music Credits: Milind Date  ~~~~~

Transcript

00:00Namaste Sir, so my question is about relationship, as you said that the main purpose of relationship

00:14is for liberation or the real relationship is that which helps in the liberation but

00:23in my life I see that there are both kinds of relationship, those which help me in the

00:30liberation and those which do not help me, which are like physical relationships or the

00:42relationships that I got by birth which I did not choose. So my question is like how

00:51I can, so how should I deal with those relationships which like which do not help me in liberation

01:00and you also said that there is nothing that doesn't have potential to assist you, so that

01:11means the relationships which have, which are bodily relationships they also have a

01:18potential to assist me in liberation, so like how I can.

01:25No, they will assist you by being no more. I did not say that stuff as it is will be

01:38helpful to you. There are things that are of use when you preserve them and maintain

01:49them and there are things that are of use when you throw them away. So I will be helpful

01:58to you by being no more. That's the way that thing will be of help to you and again the

02:08question is a bit wrongly framed. Again the thing is you are asking how do I deal with

02:15those relationships that are just physical, they have arisen out of lust or they are coming

02:20from birth. In all this is there any remembrance of the love, the target. We said all relationships

02:36get their right place and right nourishment from their utility towards the target. If

02:43they are useful towards the target, they are alright. At no point are you talking of the

02:48target, you are still talking of the relationship only. Bad relationships, where do they arise

02:56from? They arise from a forgetfulness of the real target. When you forget the one that

03:06you must really reach, the result definitely will be bad relationships. If you have ever

03:14made a bad relationship, think of it. It would be in a moment when you have totally

03:19forgotten the real thing. If you remember the real thing, there is no way a bad relationship

03:24can happen. To the extent that sometimes we just do not forget the real thing, we actually

03:33actively deceive the real thing so that a bad relationship can be raised. How then to

03:44rectify a relationship? Forget it. Remember the real thing. If you remember the real thing,

03:53the right relationship will get nourishment and the wrong one will shrivel down on its

04:00own. You don't need to hack down a wrong relationship. You just have to reaffirm your

04:10commitment to the right thing. Somebody asked me how do I maintain the right circle of friends?

04:21Is it a wrong question? You move towards the right target. The ones who keep accompanying

04:30you are the right ones. Full stop. If you do not have anything for the right target,

04:39for the right destination and you just keep trying to filter your friends on some criteria,

04:47you will never succeed. Let the filtering be automatic. I am not filtering you. I am

04:56inviting everybody. I am going towards my target, my pilgrimage. I am inviting everybody

05:04to accompany me. Those who are right, you will find them by your side. Those who are wrong,

05:11they will drop by the wayside. Isn't it simple? And you will be relieved of the burden of filtering

05:23them and you will be spared of the acquisition that you dropped them. I didn't drop you. I in

05:31fact invited you to accompany me. You decided not to accompany me. I am not shutting down my doors

05:40on your face. Just that when you arrive, I will not change the music. For your sake,

05:54I will not deceive or abandon my real love.

06:04Gita is the song.

06:12And I am listening to this song that I love and you come to me. If you cannot tolerate Gita,

06:23you will live on your own. My job is to not to flip the track. I will not say,

06:33oh now that you have come, let it be hip-hop. No, no. Chances are that fellow will not stand this.

06:45The moment you say, he will be gone. That's your job in life. Not to filter your relationships but

06:57to stand committed to the real one. Those who will accompany you will then automatically be

07:05the right ones. We make this mistake. To maintain relationships, we wear masks. So in my solitude,

07:14it is Gita. And when that person arrives, I say, no, no, no. Just by accident, this one got turned on.

07:31Don't wear masks. Have that self-respect. That's what is dignity. This is who I am.

07:39And I will not exchange my truth for your sake.

07:51If you are alright with who I really am,

07:56let's be together. But don't ask me to drop my authenticity.

08:03Most of your existing relationships will fail this test. Because they are relationships

08:15between masks. You wear a mask and you expect the other to wear a mask. There is no fun. You

08:24do not even know the other's face. There is actually no relationship at all. How can two

08:31masks be related to each other? None of you have ever really seen each other. Get the symbolism,

08:43please. You might be in a relationship since two decades. Have you ever even once seen that person?

08:49Never. How can you see when there are... Interestingly, you cannot even kiss the other

09:01person. When masks try to kiss each other, all you get is friction and sparks. Plastic rubbing

09:11against plastic. And just for the heck of it, making some lustful noises.

09:29Forget relationships. Remember the real thing. The real thing will give you the right relationship.

09:36Forget the real thing. Your punishment will be that you will be saddled with an obnoxious

09:47relationship. Your punishment will be that you will bear that relationship for long now.

09:51Your internal cunningness will tell you, see how smart I was. I deceived the real one to

10:03pinch this relationship. Sir, you have not earned something. Even if you have earned something,

10:15it's a punishment. You have earned a punishment for yourself. You think you have brought home a

10:22goody. The right relationship is in some way is a blessing, a gift, prasad. Remember that one?

10:52Offer what you have at the yajna. And then what you get is prasad.

11:15Else you are a thief.

11:22The right relationship is prasad. Prasad is what it will be. Yes.

11:36So Acharya ji, from this answer I got to learn two things that even though there are border

11:43relationships, but I never try to use them for the liberation. And second thing is about the

11:49mask. So yes, I use the mask many times. Many times I have skipped the Gita sessions as well.

11:57You know, there is something worse than skipping the Gita session for a relationship. It is to

12:09attend the Gita session for a relationship. I have seen such cases. It is obviously bad if you

12:24skip the Gita session for a relationship. It's far worse to come to the Gita session for a relationship.

12:32Just follow up on this. I use a mask. I don't want to show them that I listen to Bhagavad Gita.

12:58Also many times I show them that I do not get affected by anything. I do not get affected by

13:06what you say. So this is kind of behavior which contradicts each other.

13:13My teacher told me, you do the right thing. The right ones will come to you.

13:34And if there is someone for whom you have to drop the right thing, that person is surely not right for you.

13:52You want to know who is not right for you? The one who drags you away from the right thing.

14:01Full stop.

14:17Never make this mistake in relationships. Never.

14:21Never compromise on your authenticity for the sake of maintaining a relationship. Never.

14:28Let the truth be the truth. Let the first be the first. No compromises there.

14:58That's it.

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