Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Get ready for a Game Changer!
00:03Tonight's guests, purveyor of fine arts and crafts, it's Jess Ross!
00:10Purveyor of only the finest fashion, it's Lily Du!
00:15And purveyor of only the finest ass-eating, it's Raphael Chesting!
00:22And your host, me! Hi, hello, I'm over here!
00:27Welcome to Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show.
00:32I'm your host, Sam Reich. I'm joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:37Now, you all understand how the game works.
00:40Not at all. No. Absolutely not.
00:42That's because our guests have no idea what game it is they're about to play.
00:47The only way to learn is by playing.
00:50The only way to win is by learning.
00:52And the only way to begin is by beginning.
00:54So without further ado, let's begin.
00:58Jess, in a moment, I am going to ask you to make a wager.
01:04With what points you ask, you have ten.
01:06In fact, you all are beginning this game with ten points.
01:09How many you wager is up to you.
01:11I would remind you, you will only get ten points this whole game.
01:15So don't waste them.
01:17Jess, your turn of phrase is, a bubble wrap suit.
01:23I'd like to wager four points.
01:27Four out of ten points wager on a bubble wrap suit.
01:32Ash, show me a bubble wrap suit.
01:37There is a bubble wrap suit.
01:46As we develop this show, late at night, I would think about Raph's reactions to the games.
01:52She has fourteen points.
01:54What?
01:55I should have done all ten.
01:56At this point, I would like to draw all of your attention to the bins in the center of the stage.
02:01You will notice, Jess, that yours reads if Jess wins.
02:05Lily, yours if Lily wins and Raph if Raph wins.
02:08Lily, how much would you like to wager on a salt of the month club?
02:15One.
02:16Ash, show me salt of the month.
02:20No.
02:21Oh, there was no salt of the month.
02:23That brings Lily down to nine.
02:25Can you wager zero?
02:26You certainly can.
02:27Okay, okay.
02:28You learning?
02:29Yeah.
02:30And learning means winning or whatever you said earlier.
02:34I won it.
02:35Whatever.
02:36Yeah.
02:37Raph.
02:38Yes?
02:39What would you like to wager on an automatic pan stirrer?
02:46Ten.
02:47Oh, look at that face.
02:49Look at all their faces.
02:50I do want to remind you that you have ten points this whole game.
02:55I'm not saying don't do it.
02:57I'm saying if you are wrong about this, you could be out of the game.
03:02He's crazy.
03:04He's out of his mind.
03:06I'm going with ten.
03:07Ash, show me an automatic pan stirrer.
03:10There is an automatic pan stirrer.
03:17And that's all we can use for that song.
03:21Thank you for keeping fair use concerns in mind with your banter.
03:26Hell yeah.
03:27We should change that to when Raph wins.
03:30Oh.
03:33Oh.
03:34Uh-oh.
03:35Jess.
03:36Yes?
03:37How much would you like to wager on smart floss?
03:40Two points.
03:42Ash, show me smart floss.
03:46Nope.
03:47No smart floss.
03:50Looks like I'm still in the lead, guys.
03:52Oh my God.
03:54You're the worst winner I've ever seen.
03:57Raph, early on establishing himself as the villain of this episode.
04:01Lily.
04:02I'm ready.
04:03How much would you like to wager on those little green army men, but they're doing yoga?
04:08I'll wager four points.
04:10Ash, can you show me those little green army men, but they're doing yoga?
04:15Oh.
04:18They're so cute.
04:20It is exceptional.
04:22Wow.
04:23Cute.
04:24Raph.
04:25Yes?
04:26A flight of peanut butter.
04:28So this is like a flight of beer or like a flight of wine.
04:31I mean, there's so many different kinds.
04:33There's chunky, not chunky, light.
04:37That's all of them, really.
04:39Okay, I'm going to wager two points.
04:41Ash, can you show me a flight of peanut butter?
04:45Oh.
04:48Interesting.
04:50Jess, a Bluetooth banana phone.
04:53I'm going to say zero.
04:54You're going to say zero points.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Ash, can you show me a Bluetooth banana phone?
05:00Oh.
05:02It's so cute.
05:04It is very cute.
05:06Unfortunately, will not go in Jess's bin.
05:10And there's so much bubble wrap to protect it.
05:13You can ship it anywhere in the country.
05:15I don't know.
05:16I mean, truly, if that's all that I get, I would really like it.
05:19Oh, we get these.
05:20We get to take these home.
05:22What do you think air frap wins means?
05:25Lily.
05:26Irish potato famine branded potatoes.
05:29That seems hurtful.
05:30Yeah.
05:31One point.
05:32One point.
05:33Ash, can you show me Irish potato famine potatoes?
05:38Oh.
05:39That's a no.
05:40That's a no.
05:41Jess and Lily are at this point tied.
05:43Raph, how much would you like to wager on Boston Tea Party teas?
05:48How much do you guys think?
05:50You want our help now?
05:52Well, you're either going to help me or dig your own grave.
05:55All my points?
05:56Boston Tea Party teas?
05:58I feel like when you're in Boston, they'll sell shit for anything.
06:00Yeah, I would think that that was real.
06:02But is it here?
06:04Because see, that's my confusion.
06:06Are we betting on whether it exists?
06:08Yes.
06:09Or whether it's here?
06:10Yes.
06:12Yes.
06:13Okay.
06:14I will bet.
06:15I'll bet two points.
06:16Ash, can you show me Boston Tea Party teas?
06:21Should have bet it all.
06:22Do you have Boston Tea Party teas?
06:24Wouldn't that Irish potato famine?
06:27Jess, this goes to you.
06:29A weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
06:32Oh my God.
06:34I mean, that would be incredible.
06:35If that was back there in my bag.
06:37It certainly would be, wouldn't it?
06:39Holy fuck me.
06:41Let's do six points for that.
06:45Show me a weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
06:49Oh no.
06:51The budget for this show.
06:54That costs more than a banana phone?
06:57It is time for our first mini game,
06:59and so I would like Ashley to come out with the gift baskets.
07:05Oh.
07:06Presents and products?
07:09What, Power Bank?
07:10I'm going to put 10 seconds on the clock.
07:13Get out of my way.
07:14Ready?
07:15And 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5.
07:22I don't even want this.
07:234, 3, 2, and 1.
07:29I threw a lot of my stuff at Jess in round one.
07:34All right players, it's time for round two.
07:37The prizes are going to get a touch richer.
07:41Lily, how much would you like to wager on
07:44a bracelet that's also an iPhone charger?
07:48Seven.
07:49Seven points.
07:51Show me a bracelet that's also an iPhone charger.
07:55Yes, it is.
07:57It's beautiful.
07:59It's gorgeous.
08:00Raph.
08:01Yes.
08:02A necklace that is also a vibrator.
08:04I will say, I don't think it's back there.
08:07You don't think it's back there?
08:08I don't think it is.
08:09I think this is too expensive,
08:10because sex toys are crazy expensive.
08:14This freak knows.
08:16How much do you think this would be?
08:18First number to pop into my head, $500.
08:21What?
08:22Are you insane?
08:23Oh my God.
08:24Who would make you that for 20 bucks?
08:27And it would be a nice vibrator too,
08:29that thing would get you off.
08:31I will wager, I'll wager five points.
08:35Show me a necklace that's also a vibrator.
08:39Oh, fuck me.
08:41Come on.
08:42Come on.
08:43Very discreet.
08:44They're not expensive.
08:45Like $40.
08:46That was made for me specifically,
08:48Holy shit.
08:50Holy shit.
08:53What in the world?
08:56He has a long, narrow asshole.
08:59I'm going to pull a family feud
09:00and just do a quick walk around the stage.
09:05Oh my God.
09:07Jess.
09:08Oh my God.
09:09Ian.
09:10Oh my God.
09:11Oh my God.
09:12Oh my God.
09:13Oh my God.
09:14Oh my God.
09:15Oh my God.
09:16Jess.
09:17Oh my God.
09:18A one-wheeled bicycle.
09:20So a unicycle?
09:22Yeah, that's what that is.
09:23That's not what this is.
09:26A one-wheeled bicycle.
09:29I guess I'll wager a point.
09:31A point per wheel.
09:32A point per wheel.
09:33Show me a one-wheeled bicycle.
09:37That's a finger.
09:38To your point, that would be a unicycle.
09:41Yes.
09:42Oh my God.
09:43Lily.
09:44A pickle of the month club.
09:46Let me see my point.
09:50Ten.
09:51Ten points.
09:52Ash, can you show me a pickle of the month club?
09:56Indeed.
09:58That puts you and Raph at a tie.
10:02Whoa!
10:03Raph, finally.
10:05Got some competition.
10:06Now I'm really going to turn it up.
10:08A painting with eyes that actually follow you around.
10:13Let's see here.
10:14You love magic.
10:16That is true.
10:17And that is a clue.
10:18You slipped up, Sam.
10:19If it happened in the 1800s, people would think it was magic.
10:23I'm going to bet ten points.
10:24Ten points.
10:25Ash, can you show me a painting with eyes that actually follow you around?
10:30Oh no!
10:34Jess.
10:35How much would you like to wager on a snow cone making machine?
10:40I am going to do four points.
10:43Four out of five points.
10:46Show me a snow cone making machine.
10:50Yay!
10:54It's adorable!
10:57Lily, how much would you like to wager on a snow ball making machine?
11:03One point.
11:04I just think this one's a joke one after Jess's.
11:08They're like, a snow cone?
11:09A snow ball?
11:10Ash, show me a snow ball making machine.
11:13No.
11:14Raph.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Lawn velociraptors.
11:19Adorable.
11:20That sounds really cute.
11:21Come on, wager.
11:24Lily!
11:27Okay, I'm going to wager zero points.
11:30Can I do that?
11:31Zero points.
11:32You absolutely can.
11:34Show me lawn velociraptors.
11:38Indeed.
11:40Did you know they didn't exist?
11:41I just didn't think they would be here.
11:43For the record.
11:44And they're extinct.
11:45They're extinct.
11:46Jess?
11:47Yes?
11:48What would you like to wager on a fold-out guitar?
11:51I think I saw one of those on Shark Tank, and it was, I would imagine they're pretty expensive.
11:56Like what would you say?
11:58As much as like a necklace vibrator.
12:00That's what Raph would buy.
12:02A thousand dollars.
12:03I'll say one for a fold-out guitar.
12:05Show me a fold-out guitar.
12:08Wow.
12:10Whoa!
12:11That's so cool!
12:14That's adorable.
12:16As you can tell, the prizes are getting richer as the game goes on.
12:22Right.
12:23Not even in round three.
12:24There's a round three?
12:26Oh my God.
12:28Hold on to your asshole, buddy.
12:30With that in mind, Lily, a weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
12:36Wow.
12:37We didn't have it in round one.
12:38Do we have it in round two?
12:39If this is real, I'm going to be so mad.
12:43You're going to have to take me.
12:45I will wager one point.
12:47One point.
12:48Show me a weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
12:52No, we do not have a weekend stay.
12:55We'll go on our own.
12:57That brings us to minigame number two.
13:00Ash.
13:04You'll notice that on each of these cards is written the name of a small prize.
13:10Ready, players?
13:11Ready for what?
13:12Go.
13:13Ten.
13:14Oh, okay.
13:15Nine.
13:16Oh, come on!
13:17Eight.
13:18Don't do it one at a time.
13:19Bunch it all up.
13:20Seven.
13:21Six.
13:22Five.
13:23Why am I so bad?
13:24Four.
13:25Three.
13:26Two.
13:27And one.
13:28Two!
13:29Two!
13:30Now we're headed into round three.
13:35Jess has ten points.
13:36Lily, 27.
13:37Raph, 19.
13:39The prizes are going to get better and better.
13:43Raph.
13:44Yes?
13:45Dinner for two at a one-star Michelin restaurant.
13:48One is the lowest, right?
13:50It's one, two, and three stars.
13:52Okay.
13:53Okay.
13:54Your GF could really use that.
13:55Take her to dinner and give her that beautiful necklace.
13:59That was for him.
14:02I will wager two.
14:05Show me dinner for two at a Michelin one-star restaurant.
14:09Damn!
14:11Oh, it would have been so good!
14:14Jess, how much would you like to wager on wireless, noise-canceling, studio-quality headphones?
14:20I mean, I gotta get in this.
14:21It's the last round.
14:22I'll wager seven.
14:24Show me wireless, noise-canceling, studio-quality headphones.
14:28Hell yeah.
14:29Woo!
14:30Yes!
14:31Oh, yes!
14:32Yes, bitch!
14:33Okay.
14:34Dope headphones.
14:35Oh, it would be like the Cinderella shoe.
14:40For her ears, not her ass.
14:42For her ears.
14:43For her ears.
14:44But you guys have seen Cinderella, right?
14:45Oh, my God!
14:46We knew the reference!
14:48Jess and Raph, you're now tied.
14:50Started from the bottom, now I'm here.
14:52At the middle.
14:53Started from the middle.
14:54I'm actually still at the bottom.
14:56Lily, how much would you like to wager on a two-hour massage?
15:01Boy, could I use it.
15:02I'll wager seven.
15:03Yeah, I think it's fair.
15:04Two hours is a long time to be getting massaged.
15:06I know.
15:07I like this notion of, like, they just don't make up that long.
15:09They don't!
15:10It's too long!
15:11I don't think human fingers can massage that long.
15:13They can't.
15:14They give out after 90 minutes.
15:15And the union would never allow it.
15:18Show me a two-hour massage.
15:21Oh!
15:22Yes!
15:23Oh!
15:24Raph.
15:25Yep.
15:26Lunch with Edgar Wright.
15:27What?
15:28The Edgar Wright.
15:29The director.
15:30The director.
15:31Edgar Wright.
15:32Well, if you're a fan of cinema.
15:33That's right.
15:34That would be incredible.
15:35The opportunity to make a connection.
15:36I think it's there.
15:37I think it's back there.
15:39I think this is back there.
15:40She's back there.
15:41He's been waiting this whole time.
15:42With a salad.
15:43And just to sit in the basket.
15:48I'm going to wager ten.
15:49Show me lunch with Edgar Wright.
15:54Sorry, Raph.
15:55I don't have a connection to Edgar Wright.
15:59I never met the guy.
16:01This game has been wild, Raph.
16:04You had shot out into the lead.
16:06And now.
16:07Now look at you.
16:08You naughty boy.
16:11Jess.
16:12Yes.
16:13A top of the line electric scooter.
16:18I mean, those are expensive, right?
16:20They are expensive.
16:21Unless we stole a bird scooter.
16:23Can you imagine?
16:24If it's a stolen bird scooter.
16:25No crimes were committed in the making of Game Changer.
16:28I'm going to do seven.
16:30Show me a top of the line electric scooter.
16:35Oh my god!
16:38No!
16:39No!
16:40Oh my god!
16:42This is a delight.
16:44I'm so happy for you.
16:46That is so cool.
16:47Oh my god.
16:48Lily.
16:49Two annual passes to a theme park, which we can't say which one for legal reasons,
16:53but it's in Anaheim and it features a mouse.
16:56Oh my gosh.
16:58How much are those things worth?
17:00If it's the park I'm thinking of, it's about $300 per person, I would say.
17:07Maybe more.
17:08I'll wager two.
17:10Show me two annual passes.
17:14Woo!
17:16Oh my god.
17:18That's crazy.
17:20Raph.
17:21Yes.
17:22An extra week of vacation.
17:23What?
17:25I mean, it doesn't matter.
17:27I'm not going to win.
17:30Unless there's another loop-de-loop in this game.
17:33What do you mean loop-de-loop?
17:34Just let me win?
17:36Can you imagine?
17:38The twist is none of this was relevant and Raph just wins.
17:42An extra week of vacation.
17:43I definitely think this is back there.
17:45I will wager...
17:46It doesn't cost them anything.
17:48Are you serious?
17:49A week without me?
17:53Man!
17:54Fantastic!
17:55Raph, I haven't read a sketch of yours in weeks.
17:59Man!
18:00Can we afford to lose Raph?
18:03The thousands of dollars of value we'd be flushing down the toilet.
18:08I wager three points.
18:10Show me an extra week of vacation.
18:13Raph, well, there are certain things within my power.
18:17Right.
18:18Our HR policies are, unfortunately, they come up way down off the mountain.
18:22Jess.
18:23Now it feels so tense.
18:25A diamond necklace.
18:27A diamond necklace? That's very expensive.
18:29They're cheap diamonds.
18:31Oh, is it a cheap diamond necklace?
18:33I'll wager six points.
18:35Show me a diamond necklace.
18:40I'm sorry, Jess.
18:42Lily.
18:43Dinner for one at a two-star Michelin restaurant.
18:47Oh, my God.
18:48I feel like a gambler's eye.
18:50You are a gambler's eye.
18:52One point.
18:54Show me dinner for one at a Michelin two-star restaurant.
18:59No.
19:00Sorry, Lily, but judicious play.
19:02Good move.
19:03You guys are so great.
19:05And you're also my favorite cast members.
19:08Raph, you went through a hero's journey.
19:11Is that true?
19:13As it turns out, all you really needed the whole time was to lose.
19:18That's the Raph I know.
19:19You know, if after this, you know, if you want to share something.
19:22See, that's what that's about.
19:24Raph.
19:25Yes.
19:26Dinner for two at a two-star Michelin restaurant.
19:30All right.
19:31I wager two points.
19:34Ash, don't let me down.
19:35Wait, do we call her Ash?
19:37Yeah, Ash.
19:38Ash.
19:39You don't get to say her name.
19:40Ash.
19:41You don't get to say her name.
19:42Don't pause her out.
19:43You don't get to say her name.
19:44She's a hard-working young woman.
19:46Oh!
19:47Yeah, I know.
19:48Yeah, I know.
19:49Ash scolded you.
19:50That's what happened.
19:51Oh.
19:52She did this to me.
19:53Show me dinner for two at a Michelin two-star restaurant.
19:58Oh!
19:59Oh, my God.
20:03But not because Raph told you to.
20:05Because you wanted to.
20:06Yeah.
20:07We love you, Ash.
20:08Ash, thank you.
20:09And I'm sorry.
20:10I'm also sorry.
20:11Ready, Jess?
20:12Yes.
20:13A day-long dolphin experience.
20:15Dolphins freak me out.
20:18So you wouldn't even want it.
20:20I want to win.
20:21This is your last thing, Jess.
20:24There'll be no other things at the point if I lose all of them right now?
20:28Correct.
20:29I'm telling you, there's a loop-de-loop.
20:31That's why I'm still here.
20:32Raph doesn't need a loop-de-loop at all.
20:36A loop-de-loop would go back to the same place.
20:38He needs a twist.
20:39That's what he needs.
20:41He thinks there's a twist coming.
20:43So I'll bet it all.
20:45Jess bets...
20:4618 points.
20:4718 points.
20:48Show me a day-long dolphin experience.
20:53Oh, yeah.
20:55Jess, I am so sorry.
20:58All right.
20:59Okay.
21:00You and me.
21:01I had no other choice.
21:02It is you and me now.
21:03Lily.
21:04A week-long exotic car rental.
21:07I will wager the total of Raph's points.
21:10Six points.
21:11Are we talking a Maserati?
21:12Are we talking a Bentley?
21:14Or a Toyota that's from Japan?
21:17Yeah, what do you mean by exotic?
21:19Listen.
21:20What do you mean by exotic?
21:21What do you mean by exotic, Sam?
21:23Listen, everybody.
21:25Six points is what you wagered.
21:27Show me a week-long exotic car rental.
21:32No.
21:33Oh, no.
21:34I am afraid not.
21:35Raph, this is the final prize today.
21:38A weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
21:43I'm going to guess that whoever gets this wins it all.
21:46You think that's crazy?
21:48I think that's the loop-de-loop we've all been waiting for.
21:51That's the loop-de-loop.
21:52We're all waiting for you to go around and end up where you started in Big Sur.
21:57It was here the whole time.
21:58There's been loop-de-loops all around.
22:01It was a sign.
22:03Oh, my God.
22:05Before I wager, I do want to say, really, you have been so great to work with.
22:12What about Jess?
22:14Well, Jess lost.
22:18I wager five points.
22:21Show me a weekend stay in Big Sur, California.
22:25Come on, Ash.
22:26Come on, Ash.
22:28Yes, indeed, it does, Ash.
22:32Thank you so much.
22:34That's it for this episode of Game Changer.
22:37Lily, you are our big winner today, and that means you have won the contents of your bin.
22:45Raph and Jess, I'm sorry, but in my mind, you are both winners, too.
22:50In fact, for a loop-de-loop, you'll get the contents of your bins as well.
22:58That is it for this episode of Game Changer.
23:03I'm your host, Sam Reich.
23:06Remember, money doesn't buy you happiness.
23:16It's the goods and the services that money buys that buys you happiness.
23:21Good night.