• 2 days ago

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00:00Oh dear I hope he doesn't lead them through your clean kitchen. Oh he won't I locked the back door. Gee we ought to talk Mr. B into painting this woodwork.
01:00Yoo hoo anyone home?
01:29Oh hi Mr. B. Missy's playing bridge. Oh I'd like you to meet a couple of friends of mine. This is Mr. George Baxter my boss. And this is Joe Cook and his brother Ben.
01:47Nice house you have here Mr. Baxter. Thank you. I bowled opposite Joe last night boy that's how we met. Oh he's terrific if I hadn't been on my toes I never would have won. Is that so? Well thanks fellas give me a ring when you got it all figured out. We could give you the bad news right now Mr. Baxter. Bad news? What bad news?
02:06Oh it ain't bad news Mr. B it's good news they're gonna do a wonderful job for practically nothing. Wonderful job of what? Didn't he know about us coming here? Oh I'm sorry Mr. Baxter we understood you wanted some painting done. I was just gonna get an estimate Mr. B you know there's no sense talking about it until you know whether you can afford it. Gentlemen I'm sorry you've been put to this trouble but I have no intention of getting the house painted. No trouble at all Mr. Baxter we love giving free estimates. Come on Joe. Bye Hazel.
02:37Well all I wanted you know was to have the woodwork painted Mr. B. Hazel I'll decide when it's time to paint the house. But it would...
02:46One thing I hate is stingy woodwork. You know Mr. B it ain't as if they didn't come highly recommended. All right Hazel please not now. Okay. Mr. B just because their price is low don't mean their work ain't top quality. Dorothy. Yes it's okay Mr. B I'm going. I'm going I just wanted to apologize. Good night.
03:17George I told you it's just as much my fault as it is Hazel's. The woodwork does need painting. We'll have the whole house done at the same time next year. I don't believe in doing things piecemeal. It's more expensive twice the bother and people are never satisfied with the results. All right George if that's the way you feel I'll forget about it.
03:37And see that Hazel does too will you. I'll talk to her. She's a wonderful woman but she's stubborn as a bulldog. She gets an idea gets it between her teeth and just won't let go. It's nag nag nag. All right George I said I'd talk to her. Oh no it's after 10 o'clock. Now if that's Griffin barging in here at this time of night. Calm down George you don't know it's Mr. Griffin.
04:01Yeah I was beginning to think nobody was home.
04:09Hey miss are you sure you got the right place. Where's George. George Baxter. I'm his cousin Charlene.
04:17Charlene. Well why didn't you say so. I'm Hazel. I'm real pleased to meet you. Mr. B guess who's here. I'll put your bag up in the guest room.
04:38Hi. Hello. Hazel just a moment. You'll have to forgive me but have we ever met before. Oh for Pete's sake Mr. B. She's your cousin Charlie's brother's younger Charlene. You've heard cousin Charlie speak of her.
04:55Oh of course. How are you Charlene. This is a pleasant surprise. So glad you dropped by. George take Charlene's coat. I'm glad we were home. You really should have let us know you were coming Charlene. It would have been a shame to have missed you.
05:14Didn't you get Mama's letter. No. What did it say. She must have forgot to mail it. You know Mama. No I don't. You see cousin Charlie's branch of the family moved to the Midwest long before I was born. Just what did your mother's letter say Charlene.
05:35Excuse me. Boy am I beat. I've been traveling that bus for two days and nights. Wow. Look who just joined the party. The doorbell woke me up and I'm hungry. Oh that's all right Missy. You can have a sandwich and a glass of milk can't you.
06:00Charlene this is our son Harold. Nice to meet you. Hi cousin Harold. This is Smiley. Don't be scared if he jumps upon you. Mama always says she'd rather have a skunk in the house than a dog. Your room's all ready. What do you want tea or coffee. Make mine root beer. I'm afraid we don't have any root beer. You don't have any root beer.
06:27Well I'll get some tomorrow. Well don't put yourself out on account of me cousin Dorothy. Like Mama always says I'm just one of the family. I'll take whatever you have. Where's my room. I'll show you. Boy I'm going to sleep for a week.
06:57There's so much you can do with soap and water. Oh hi. Where is everybody. At 11 o'clock when Mr. B's at the office and Missy's at a PTA meeting and Harold's doing his arithmetic exam. Oh. Any breakfast left. Oh I'll get you some.
07:24Ain't that Missy's sweater and slacks you got on. My stuff's all dirty from the trip. Here. I'll give you 50 cents for doing it. I don't want any 50 cents. Isn't that the nicest thing. I should have known though. You know Uncle Charlie told Mama just how good you were to him. But I didn't expect you to do my washing and ironing for nothing. I'm going to tell cousin George just how good you've been to me.
07:50Would you please go inside and sit down in the dining room. I'll fix your breakfast. Just a couple of eggs. Easy over. And some bacon and one slice of toast. I gotta watch my figure.
08:08Hello darling. Oh hello dear. Sorry I'm late. It's all right. Dinner won't be ready for half an hour. Good. It'll give me time for a shower. George you'll have to bathe downstairs. Charlene is in the shower. Oh no. Well would you bring me down some fresh clothes dear.
08:33Well I hope there's some hot water left George. She's been in there ever since I got home. Dorothy I'm sorry. I should have told you about cousin Charlie's branch of the family long before I asked you to marry me. At least she's clean. Well she can't be planning on staying too long. She only brought one suitcase. Well she may have come with one but I bet she goes home with two.
09:03Hey the roller derby's on. But Charlene that's a special international broadcast from Europe. It's coming from Telstar. You really want to listen to that stuff. Yes we do. Oh. If you don't mind. Of course not cousin George. I just go and watch my program in Hazel's room. Help yourself. Takes all kinds to make a whirl. I guess.
09:34Dorothy couldn't you suggest that she do her nails in the privacy of her own room. Why don't you suggest it George. She's your relative. If you call a 30 second cousin a relative. I'm telling you Dorothy I can't stand much more of this. Me neither. You only have to put up with her in the evening. Dorothy couldn't you find out anything about how long she's going to stay. George I can't just come right out and ask her. Why not. Because it wouldn't be polite.
10:01She's your family. No and I couldn't either Mr. B. Missy's right. She's your relative. Will you two stop rubbing it in. No no son. No you won't. Hazel's right. It's my responsibility. Attaboy Mr. B. And you want to know what to say to her. You've got to use psychology you know. According to my book on psychology you've got to hammer at her weak points. Now she's vain and lazy. Hazel. Please please. Now I know that. I know that.
10:31You know something about psychology. I'll handle it my way. Yeah but Hazel. Good luck Mr. B. I'll make it very clear in a nice way that enough is enough. When. Well tomorrow night right after dinner. Why not right now. And miss the symphony.
11:02So after that I worked at the city cafe. As a waitress. Yeah as a waitress. Just when we thought that things were all right with us. I got a fall on the stairs in that movie house and hurt my back. I mean just one bad piece of luck after another. But Mama says. Well that's too bad Charlene but it doesn't do any good to brood about the past. Well that's just what Mama says.
11:25I think Charlene we should have a little talk about your future. You've been with us for almost a week now. Really. Time certainly does fly when you're enjoying yourself doesn't it. But that's terrible. I had no idea I'd been imposing on you so long. Not at all. We were very pleased. I hadn't written Mama since I got here.
11:45You don't mind if I borrow some of your stationery do you Cousin George. I mean you know Mama's a worrier what with me being her youngest and all. But I better get this off right now while I'm thinking about it. And Cousin George I'm going to tell Mama just how nice you've been to me. She sure is going to appreciate it. I thought maybe you'd like some hot coffee.
12:02Thank you Hazel. Now Charlene would you bring the tray over here and if you will sit down please. That letter to your mother can wait. Now then just how long are you planning on visiting with us Charlene. Well that depends. On what? On how soon I can get a job.
12:30Well that shouldn't be too difficult. What kind of work do you do? Oh well I've done all kinds of work Cousin George. Until I had that terrible accident a couple years ago and hurt my back and all. But what I really want to be is a model. A model?
12:47Well you know there isn't much chance for a girl like me living in that hick town that Mama and I live in. But when the insurance company paid me my settlement Mama says to me Charlene this is your big chance. You take that money and you buy yourself a bus ticket and you go and visit your Cousin George and he'll introduce you to a big magazine publisher who'll give you a job.
13:09Well that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of. In the first place I don't know any magazine publisher and in the second place to be a model why you have to. Well it's a very specialized field you have to have special training. Oh well I'm willing to go to school Cousin George and I'll pay you back soon as the first job I get. I'm sure you would Charlene but I'm not in any position to finance your modeling career.
13:37Well it wouldn't mean much to a rich man like you.
13:42Now you listen to me Charlene. We were very glad that you were able to come and visit us for a few days. However.
13:49Are you planning to turn me out on the street Cousin George? It wouldn't look very nice to have your own relative go on relief.
13:56On relief?
13:58Well there ain't much else I can do. I mean what with my weak back from the accident and all.
14:03Are you trying to blackmail me?
14:06Why Cousin George what a horrible thing to say to your own flesh and blood. Well if I had money do you think I'd surely stay here and be insulted like that? When a body's poor and down in the lock she can't afford to take offense so.
14:23I'll just forget all them awful things you said Cousin George and I'll try. Yes I'll try not to think how bad that you've hurt my feelings.
14:32I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard it with my own ears. She wants me to put her through a modeling school.
14:39Modeling school Charlene?
14:42I think the only way we're going to get that woman out of this house is to burn it down.
14:46Oh no that ain't legal. But I know a way.
14:50You do? Hazel what is it? I'll do anything you say.
14:53Anything? Anything.
14:54Alright Mr. B just answer me this question. If this wasn't your house and you didn't have to stay here how long would you stay in a house that was being painted?
15:04Hazel you guarantee that'll work?
15:08Oh the paint is a friend of mine and besides I got A in psychology.
15:25The masked bandit.
15:28Kyle Silva!
15:30Oh don't be afraid partner it's just your old friend Tondo.
15:36What are you doing with my suitcase?
15:38Well I'm moving you downstairs to my room it's just temporary because we're going to be painting in here.
15:44We're going to be painting the whole house.
15:46Think that's a good idea?
15:47Okay to start in the bathroom Hazel?
15:49Well just give us a couple of minutes Joe.
15:51Okay but make it snappy.
15:57You better step on it if you're going to get a shower.
16:01You better take your suitcase if you're ever going to find anything.
16:07You better take your suitcase if you're ever going to find anything.
16:11You better take your suitcase if you're ever going to find anything.
16:17You better take your suitcase if you're ever going to find anything.
16:35How are we doing Hazel?
16:37Oh fine don't forget what I told you to say lay it on thick.
16:40Hi Sport how are you feeling?
16:43Well it's fun to stay in bed when you don't have to.
16:47Oh you don't have to stay if you don't want to but if you get up remember to look real sickly.
16:52Well how's this?
16:58Mr. Baxter it gives me great pleasure to present the Oscar to you for the best actor of the year.
17:06The Oscar to you for the best actor of the year.
17:31Oh here miss let me help you with that.
17:33Oh thank you.
17:35My name is Joe Joe Cook.
17:37Charlene Baxter.
17:39A pretty name for a pretty girl.
17:41Thank you Joe.
17:43Haven't I seen you someplace before Charlene?
17:46I don't think so.
17:48I never forget a pretty face.
17:50Oh thank you.
17:54You want this in your room don't you Hazel?
17:57Oh no no I better take it unless you ain't afraid of catching something.
18:00Charlene I got Harold in our room.
18:02I'm afraid he's coming down with the measles.
18:04Measles?
18:06What'd you put him in there for?
18:08Well I had to put him someplace.
18:10I got your coffee already but I'm afraid we don't have no cream.
18:13What?
18:15The milkman must have skipped us this morning.
18:17You boys all ready for a coffee break?
18:19Sure Hazel.
18:21Working by the hour we're in no rush to get finished.
18:23Ben coffee's ready.
18:25Okay Joe I'll be right there.
18:27I'm sorry these donuts ain't homemade.
18:28And I can't cook nothing with all these flies in here.
18:31Sorry Hazel can't paint with screens on the windows.
18:34Oh we don't mind do we Charlene?
18:36Hey ya'll come on sit down.
18:39You sure we never met before?
18:41She just got here last week.
18:43Doesn't she look familiar to you Ben?
18:46Well uh sort of.
18:49Yeah she does.
18:51Say you come from Hollywood Charlene?
18:54Why no?
18:55I thought maybe I seen you in pictures.
18:57That's it.
18:59She's a movie actress.
19:01We've seen you in the movies.
19:04Well no.
19:07That is uh we're just amateur things.
19:11A little theater you know.
19:14I've never been in pictures.
19:17Well if you haven't they're sure missing a good bet with you right Ben?
19:21They sure have.
19:22How long's it gonna take painting the house I mean?
19:25Oh a couple of weeks maybe a bit longer.
19:27A month no more.
19:29You know everybody keeps telling me I'm very photogenic.
19:32But you gotta have pull to be in pictures.
19:35I still think I've seen you somewhere.
19:37Are you sure your picture hasn't been on the cover of one of those fashion magazines my wife buys?
19:42I don't think so.
19:44Wait a minute.
19:46You ought to go to New York.
19:48They're just waiting for a good looking young woman like you.
19:49Well.
19:51I've just been thinking about that.
19:54They don't take them as old as Charlene do they?
19:57Old?
19:59She doesn't look a day over 18.
20:01Well.
20:03I'm a little older than that.
20:05Well I heard they ask for your birth certificate.
20:07And if you're over 30 they don't take you.
20:09No matter how good looking you are.
20:11Is that so?
20:13I heard the same thing.
20:15But Charlene's got plenty of time.
20:16Speaking of time.
20:18You boys better get moving.
20:20Or this house is going to be a mess for a couple of months.
20:22Okay Hazel.
20:24Thanks for the coffee.
20:26See you later Charlene.
20:31Hey.
20:33You know come to think of it you look a little like that Suzy Parker.
20:35You know that picture of her with the big black hat and the fur coat and the diamond necklace?
20:42I'd go to New York in a minute if I had the bus fare.
20:44And enough to live off of.
20:46Oh well who wouldn't?
20:49Hazel.
20:51What?
20:53If you'd loan it to me I'd pay you back.
20:55Me? On my salary?
20:57Well it wouldn't take much.
20:59I still got some left over from my settlement with the insurance company.
21:02Well even if I had it I wouldn't give it to you.
21:05Well they're not the only ones that tell me I ought to be a model.
21:08You know I happen to know you're over 29.
21:11I won't be 32.
21:12The middle of next month.
21:14Well I wouldn't give it to you anyway because Mr. B would be furious with me.
21:17He was saying just this morning that you're going to make this your home.
21:20He was?
21:22Yeah.
21:24He said he didn't like it at first.
21:26It was kind of a surprise but now he's got used to it.
21:28He kind of likes it.
21:30He did?
21:32That's funny.
21:34So you better get all them ideas out of your head about going to New York and being on magazine covers.
21:38You know there's something more important than that.
21:40You know there's something more important than life.
21:43Than going to Hollywood and having fur coats and diamond necklaces and stuff like that.
21:49Well I didn't intend to stay here forever.
21:52Oh.
21:54Well that kind of puts the kibosh on all the plans Mr. B and me made.
22:00What plans?
22:03Oh nothing.
22:06Go on, tell me.
22:07Well, he said how you needed a home and I wasn't getting any younger.
22:12And if you was to stay here you could work for your bed and board and then I could take things easier.
22:18He expects me to do housework?
22:21Oh it ain't so hard once you get the hang of it.
22:24I could show you how the Baxters like things you know and then I could retire the way I've always been wanting to.
22:31Well he's got another thing coming.
22:34Hazel?
22:35Oh don't go Charlene. Mr. B would never forgive me if you did.
22:39You put that down.
22:41You're just upset because the painters have made all this mess.
22:44And that Harold may be coming down with something contagious.
22:47But it can't go on like this forever you know.
22:50Give me this.
22:52Listen things will be back to normal soon.
22:54Now give us another chance please.
22:56Give me this suitcase.
22:58Give us a chance.
23:00What's everybody yelling about?
23:02You do have the measles. You get right back in bed.
23:06Come on now.
23:08Well I want Cousin Charlene to take care of me.
23:20You get away from me.
23:23You get away from me.
23:30Here let me feel your forehead.
23:33It's only crayons.
23:41Well I'll have to admit the Cook brothers sure know their business.
23:45Well if you think that's good you should have seen them working on Charlene.
23:48Hazel if I were wearing a hat I'd take it off you.
23:51You were right as usual.
23:53Well not all together Mr. B.
23:55Just take a look at that ceiling.
23:57Oh yes.
23:59You know as you're always saying to Missy
24:01it don't do no good to do things piecemeal.
24:04All that nice woodwork just makes the ceiling look awful.
24:07Now look here Hazel.
24:09As long as we got a mess here anyway.
24:11Mr. B the painters are still in there.
24:13You can't.
24:15Hazel.
24:16Well all he has to do is say no.
24:18I don't want you to so much as mention the subject again.
24:21But Missy we can do it so much cheaper if we do it all at once.
24:24Hazel.
24:26Oh boy.
24:28One thing that makes me mad is to have somebody walk out on a fight.
24:31Mr. Baxter said you'd want to pick out the colors for the walls and ceilings.
24:36He didn't even hear all my reasons.
24:46Oh.
25:16A Screen Gems Production