Hazel (1961-1966) TV series _ s3ep6
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TVTranscript
00:00Hi Hazel. Oh morning Sport. Are you feeling okay now? Oh fine, better than ever. If I didn't get sick every once in a while, I'd never get a real rest.
00:13Oh boy, pancakes. Buttermilk pancakes. Hot dogs. Hungry huh? I bet your dad is too. Me not being able to cook for him for four days.
00:22Boy you were sick. Mom fixed dad an omelet. Oh no kidding? He poked at it a couple times with his fork, sort of like it was alive. Then he asked for the dry cereal.
00:52Good morning Hazel. Oh hi Missy. Harold, Hazel's busy, you go drink your juice. Okay.
01:19Oh you don't know how good it is to see you standing behind that stove. Kind of miss me huh? I don't know what I'd have done if George hadn't taken us out to dinner every single night.
01:28Well restaurant food is alright for a change, but it ain't like home cooking. Mr. B lose a lot of weight. He didn't mention it. I bet if I was out for more than a couple of days, this whole family would be skin and bones.
01:41Mr. B ready? I'll see. Poor Mr. B, living on restaurant food and dry cereal. You know working on this proposed merger with the Two Continents Corporation is going to be a real challenge.
01:57Morning Mr. B. Morning Hazel. You can start on these and I'll mix up another batch. Oh thank you Hazel. Me next. Yes you can have all you want, but don't eat too fast now.
02:09Well I'm going to have to brush up on international law. Lucky though I've got almost a month before Senior Fiore, the European representative gets here.
02:19Well why are you staring at me like that? You ain't lost any weight in your face Mr. B. Hazel, you were ill not me. But I heard you ain't been eating right these last few days. None of those for me thank you.
02:32These are buttermilk pancakes. Not this morning. George, Hazel made them as a special treat. How'd he get here? Well maybe you'd rather have one of my herb omelettes Mr. B.
02:42Just some dry cereal please. Dry cereal? That's right. I put on almost four pounds while you were laid up with the flu. You gained weight? Too much rich Italian food.
02:52Italian food? Mr. B you never eat Italian food. You won't even eat my Italian food. Hazel, this isn't just ordinary Italian food, this is Florentine cooking. Florentine?
03:04Wonderful new restaurant. Trattoria Pancini. I make some real good Italian dishes. Hazel, you should have tasted that wonderful Florentine veal we had last night. Veal? You don't even eat veal.
03:17And those desserts. Peaches stuffed with almond. Pistachio pie. What a menu. You could go there every night for a month and not have the same thing twice.
03:28Maybe if I was sick for a few more days you might have had a chance to try everything. Maybe I'll have a relapse right now. Hazel, George didn't mean...
03:36If he wants dry cereal, he's gonna get dry cereal. With skim milk. And no sugar.
03:42Signor Pancini? Si. Io sono Luigi Pancini. Well, the girl out front said I could come back here to see you. My English is very bad. Well, I'm sure it's better than my Italian.
04:04Okay, what can I do for you? Well, I'm a housekeeper. Housekeep? Yes, I clean and I cook. Oh, la cuoca. You want to work for Pancini. Oh no, no way.
04:18Brava, brava. You work for Pancini. Oh no, I can't do that. I already got a job as cook. You, you are a spy. You work for another cafe. Oh no, I don't work for a cafe. I only cook for one family.
04:33Oh, caciofini. Mmm, delicious. You know, signor, my boss is just mad about your cooking. Mmm, he eats in my trattoria. Oh sure, he's been eating here every night for a week.
04:50This is my minestrone. Oh, thanks. Well, what I wanted to know was maybe you'd let me have some of your recipes so I could fix them at home for Mr. B. My special food. This is my life. How can I give it to someone else?
05:07Oh sure, I know how you feel. I got my own secret recipes. Shrimp wiggles, shepherd's pie. Tell me one thing. It's important you cook like a Pancini for your boss? Oh sure. Signorina, lei ha una faccia molto onesta, simpatica. Oh, well I thought it was worth a try. Thanks anyway.
05:29Just a minute, just a minute. I say your face is honest, simpatica, good. Oh, you mean you're going to let me have the recipe? My sure, I'm going to let you have the recipe. What's the matter with you? You see, this is the recipe that I only give to the people whom I like.
05:47But these are in Italian. Doni, alla, romano, mango, uova, capallo. Well, don't you understand any of it? I don't understand any foreign language but Pig Latin. Well, would you guess? You know, experiment.
06:14Oh, Rosie, if I was to experiment, I might start off with a veal cutlet and I'd end up with a pistachio pie. Oh, Lisa, you're brooding over this too much. Yeah, I guess maybe I am. What about going to the Orpheum tonight? They got a new Doris Hannafie picture.
06:28Oh, say yes, I want to see that. It's the remake of that musical they did based on that old silent picture. How about 8 o'clock? Oh, no. Wait a minute, I just remembered, I can't go. I've got my social problems class. Oh, for Pete's sake, you ain't still going to night school, are you?
06:47I'm taking marriage and family life. But you ain't married and you ain't got no family. Well, isn't that a social problem? No, I just can't miss class. Besides, there's the most fascinating man interested in me. No kidding. Uh-huh. He's held the drinking fountain faucet for me three times now. His name is Enzo Martelli. I think he's Italian.
07:10Hazel, that's it, night school. That's where you can get those recipes translated. Oh, you mean the guy at the drinking fountain? Oh, no. They have a class in basic Italian.
07:21That's what I call mad. You know, they took so long with dinner. Oh, I'm told, but they just don't like you to be late for these classes. This is the Italian class, Hazel. Oh, oh, well, thanks, Rosie. Now, there's a ten-minute break at 8 o'clock, so I'll meet you down by the drinking fountain. Oh, okay. Okay. See you later.
07:51Uh, excuse me, but somebody said this was the Italian class. Basic Italian? Where's the teacher?
08:08Basic, all right. Excuse me. Buona sera, signora. Or is it signorina? Well, I really don't know. I'm Hazel Burke. Are you planning to join our class? Oh, no, I just wanted to ask you a favor. I got these wonderful Florentine recipes, and I thought maybe you could help me put them into English.
08:36Well, I'd be happy to, Miss Burke, but I really have to start the lesson now. Oh. Why don't you stay as my guest, huh? And then after the session, we'll look at the recipes, no? Okay. Sit down. Buona sera, studente. Please turn to page 23 in your grammars.
09:06Gentlemen, gentlemen, please. One at a time, huh? One at a time. Well, I'll see her after the coffee break.
09:28Scusi, scusi. Che disgrazie, che disgrazie. Per piacere. Le chiedo perdono. That's all right. No harm done. Grazie, grazie. Oh, you speak Italian good. I didn't see you in the class. You were in my English class? Oh, no, I'm in the Italian class. You don't speak Italian. And I'm in the English class, but I do not speak English.
09:53Oh, you'll do fine. I bet you'll do as good as I do in Italian. You will, signora. Or is it signorina? Well, I've got to get that straight myself. What's the difference? Well, la signora is married. La signorina is not married. Oh, that's quite a difference. I'm Hazel Burke, signorina. Piacere. I am signor Enzo Martelli. Does signor mean married or not married?
10:20With a man, there is no way to be sure. Wouldn't you know? As for me, I am not married. Oh, well, we've got something in common, you might say. Si, much more than that. You come to night school to learn my language. Yes. And I come to night school to learn your language. You have a little saying. Piccolo mondo. Small world. Piccolo mondo.
10:45Oh, well, I've got to remember that. No, you see, I have these wonderful Florentine recipes, but I don't know how to read them. Benissimo, benissimo. Oh, then you cook Italian food. Come buono. Where do you work, Mr. Martelli? The B&B department store in Lettergoods. But I think I'd do much better on my job if I learned more of the English.
11:09Oh, sure you could. How long have you been in the USA? A little more than a year. Signorina, if you have trouble with the Italian, maybe I can help you. Oh, that's great. And maybe you can help me with the English. Yeah, that's perfect.
11:29Piacere della sua conoscenza.
11:34Arrivederci, signorina. See you later.
11:38Hazel Burke. Just what's the big idea of taking over the man who's interested in me? Oh, is he the one? Oh, I'm sorry, Rosie, I didn't know. And I guess he forgot he was interested in you.
11:53Letting him kiss your hand. And right by the drinking fountain, too. Hazel, why would you ever do that? Well, it's pickled on Monday, Rosie. That's Italian. And a man you'll probably never see again in your whole life. I think we'll be bumping into each other again now that I'm taking lessons in Italian. Do you mean you're starting into night school? Oh, sure, you're so right, Rosie. A girl's gotta improve herself.
12:24Hello, Pauline. Hello. Hello.
12:35We had word today that the European representative of the Two Continents Corporation will be in town next week. His name is Signor Fiori.
12:42Oh, Fiori, that's Italian for flowers. Hazel, the spinach souffle was especially good tonight. Oh, grazie, Mr. B. Well, at least the little bit of it I had was good.
12:54Mirage in the dining room? I would have sworn there was another chop there. You gotta save room for dessert, you know, Mr. B.
13:02Pagliano, Pagliati, Pagliano. I would like to invite Signor Fiori and his wife to have dinner with us here. I understand she always acts as his interpreter. Of course, darling.
13:12See, I feel the negotiations would go much smoother in a relaxed atmosphere.
13:20Did I say relaxed? Hazel, are you serving dinner or running the 440? George, Hazel has her night school class this evening. She gets educated, I get indigestion.
13:29Well, it's all in a good cause, darling. You wanted that Florentine food. Yeah, it's true. But when am I going to taste some of those great dishes?
13:37I'm saving them for a special occasion, Mr. B. You go on to school, Hazel. I'll finish up. Oh, thanks, missy. Oh, I mean, molti grazie, signora. And molti grazie to you, too, Mr. B.
13:51If you eat a meal in this house anymore, you need English subtitles.
13:59Hello. What is it? Have you seen my friend Hazel, Miss Burke? No, I wasn't looking for her.
14:06Oh, well, I guess she isn't here tonight. I hope she's not ill. Oh, my goodness. Oh, I have the nicest Dutch chocolate cake with caramel coconut icing here.
14:17But I just never may believe all of it myself. Maybe you'd like to have some.
14:24Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry I was late. The teacher was explaining something. Your friend was worried when you were not here tonight.
14:30Oh, my friend didn't seem to be a bit worried when we walked to school tonight.
14:35Oh, he was actually rosa.
14:39Molto buono. Oh, grazie. That's one of Signor Pancini's recipes. I made it specially for you.
14:46Hazel, never, never, even in Italia, have I tasted such a cassatella.
14:50How would I say you're so kind?
14:54To say molto gentile.
14:57To say? Oh, that's a familiar form.
15:01We are friends, are we not, Hazel?
15:03Oh, sure, Anzo.
15:08Do you like opera?
15:09Well, I don't know, to tell you the truth, I ain't never been.
15:13Che piccato. You have missed one of life's great pleasures, but you do like music.
15:17Oh, sure, I love it.
15:19Then you would like opera. The music, so beautiful. The stories, so charming.
15:25And there's a fine opera company here this week.
15:28When do you have, how it's said, the off night?
15:32Oh, Thursday night.
15:34Thursday? That is the night they sing Puccini's La Boheme.
15:39And what could be better for your first opera?
15:42Hazel, would you do me the pleasure to accompany me?
15:46To the opera?
15:47To the opera?
15:48Si. Boheme, it is such a beautiful opera. How you will enjoy and I will share your pleasure.
15:53Marcello and Rudolfo, they're freezing and starving in their attic.
15:57Little Mimi, dying.
15:59Oh, I'd love to go. It sounds like a barrel of fun.
16:03It's 8.30. I come for you one hour before.
16:06Oh, I better give you my address.
16:08Si.
16:09I hope you won't mind coming to the back door.
16:14There we are.
16:21Till Thursday.
16:22Oh, till Thursday.
16:27Arrivederci.
16:28Arrivederci.
16:33I wonder how you say hot dog in Italian.
16:36What's the matter with me? I've got to go to class too.
16:44Aren't they something?
16:46They're lovely, Hazel.
16:48You know, in pictures you always see ladies wearing them at the opera.
16:51So I figured I ought to get me some.
16:53I want everything to be just right tonight.
16:55I'm anxious to meet this Mr. Martelli.
16:57Oh, you'll like him, missy.
17:00He's a real gentle man.
17:02You know, they have a word in Italian for kind.
17:05Gentile. And that's what he is.
17:08They have a word in Italian for kind.
17:10Gentile. And that's what he is.
17:14Gentile.
17:16I'll get it.
17:20Baxter residence.
17:21Hazel.
17:22Oh, hi, Mr. Bean.
17:24Hazel, that European representative of the Two Continents Corporation just arrived in town.
17:28Oh, you mean Mr. Flowers?
17:31Yes, that's right. Mr. Fiore.
17:33Now I'm counting on you to serve a very special dinner for us.
17:36Oh, I'll shoot the works.
17:38Mrs. Fiore said to expect him about 7.30.
17:41So plan to serve dinner at 8 o'clock.
17:43Oh, sure. You just leave everything to me.
17:46Oh, wait a minute, Mr. B.
17:48Did you say tonight?
17:49Now I know it's your night off, but this is very important to me.
17:52If this merger goes through, it could be a springboard into even greater deals.
17:57Take tomorrow night off, okay?
17:59Oh, sure, Mr. B.
18:01I'll be glad to do it.
18:03You can try out some of those new recipes of yours.
18:05Oh, don't you worry, Mr. B.
18:08Everything's going to be all right.
18:30Mmm. Smells wonderful, Hazel.
18:33Well, you're finally going to get that Florentine meal you've been waiting for.
18:37I hope we translated the recipes right.
18:40Hazel, Dorothy just told me what you gave up to be here tonight.
18:44I'm very sorry. You should have told me you had a date to go to the opera.
18:48Oh, that's all right, Mr. B.
18:50I'm glad you counted on me. That's the way I wanted to be.
18:53The only thing I feel bad about is not being able to get in touch with Mr. Martelli.
18:57Your date?
18:58Yeah, he left the store where he works early.
19:00And I don't know his home address, so he's liable to be turning up here any minute.
19:06Oh, that must be Mr. and Mrs. Fiore. I'll get it, Hazel.
19:09Oh, thanks. Good luck to both of us, Mr. B.
19:12Just bring in the appetizers when you can.
19:16Oh, I tried to get you at the store, but you'd left early.
19:20Well, I said, Hazel, I'd bring you a few flowers for...
19:24You forget the opera, Bohème, tonight?
19:28Oh, no, no. How could I forget those poor men freezing and starving and that little girl dying?
19:36I do not understand.
19:38Well, you come on in. Come on in, and I'll try to explain it to you.
19:44Come in, Signor Fiore. Come in.
19:46Good evening, Mr. Baxter. How are you? I'm fine.
19:50My wife?
19:51How do you do?
19:52Good evening, Mrs. Baxter. How are you? I'm fine.
19:55We were expecting your wife.
19:57Mrs. Fiore. Signora Fiore.
20:19Oh, it's from Mrs. Fiore.
20:21She has the flu, and she always acts as Signora's interpreter.
20:27Please forgive my husband. He understands only a few simple phrases of English.
20:36Good evening, Mr. Baxter. How are you? I'm fine.
20:40Well, to tell the truth, Signor, I have felt a lot better.
20:45It is a pity. You would have liked La Bohème, and they were good seats.
20:50There's no reason why you can't go. I want you to go.
20:53No, no, no. You do not go. I do not go.
20:58Many evenings I have spent at La Bohème. I have never spent an evening with you.
21:03I will not be cheated of it.
21:06I don't usually believe in first impressions, but I knew you was molto gentile the minute you bumped into me.
21:14This is pretty fancy for little old me.
21:17Let me pin them on you.
21:19Oh, no. I'm going to put them in the refrigerator, so they'll last.
21:24Hazel, I'm going to stay and help you serve.
21:28Oh, boy. Wait till Mr. B's fancy guest gets a look at our butler.
21:45He speaks every language but Swahili.
21:48And English.
21:49George, you should get an interpreter.
21:51Where? On the yellow pages?
21:53This could blow the whole deal.
21:56Canapé?
21:58Grazie.
21:59Prego.
22:00Signorina, lei parla italiano?
22:02Molto poco. It's nice to hear your language spoken when you're away from home, ain't it?
22:07Hazel, he doesn't understand English.
22:09Not a word?
22:10His wife interprets for him, but she has the flu.
22:13People just won't take care of themselves.
22:15Signorina, per piacere, i signori non parlano italiano. Può tradurre per me?
22:18Carma, signor. Carma.
22:21George, maybe Hazel could interpret for you.
22:24Dorothy, Hazel has had exactly four weeks' night school Italian.
22:28Now, this gentleman and I have to discuss intricate legal problems.
22:33And I'd give $100 for an interpreter right now.
22:36Scusi, mia appetite.
22:41Enzo, get your coat on.
22:43What has happened?
22:45You've been fired as butler.
22:46Your boss is angry.
22:48No, Mr. B. is hired as an interpreter.
22:50Interpreter?
22:52Si. So you get in there and parlour as you never parloured before.
23:02Well, where is she?
23:04She's upstairs putting on some of my perfume, George.
23:07Well, Enzo will be here any minute.
23:17Well...
23:19Hazel, you look terrific.
23:21Thanks.
23:23Oh, missy, I used some of your spontaneous combustion.
23:26Oh, and the gloves, Hazel, are a perfect touch.
23:28Yeah, don't you think?
23:30Oh, it was so nice of you to get the tickets for Tosca tonight, Mr. B.
23:33Oh, well, Hazel, after what you and Enzo did for me the other night saving the merger...
23:37I'll get it.
23:42Buona sera.
23:43Buona sera.
23:49Bellissima.
23:51Bellissima.
23:53Shall we go?
23:55Yeah.
23:57Hazel, you will like Tosca even more than you would have liked La Boheme.
24:01It is a marvellous love story.
24:03Everyone suffers so beautifully.
24:05Mario is shot.
24:07Scorpio is stabbed.
24:09And Tosca jumps out of the window.
24:11Never a dull moment.
24:13Enzo, I've also arranged for you and Hazel to have dinner after the opera as my guests.
24:18Grazie, signor.
24:20Candlelight, soft music, fine food, a bottle of good wine.
24:23Oh, Mr. B., you shouldn't have done that.
24:26Hazel, it's my pleasure.
24:28Where's the reservation?
24:30Well, at the Trattoria Pancini, of course.
24:32Where else do they serve the best Italian dinners in town?
24:35Right here, at the Baxter residence.
24:43Arrivederci.
25:13A Screen Gems Production.