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00:00:00Today at lunch or if we're gonna wait until tomorrow, thanks
00:00:15Kids are being raised by the nanny and Phil and I get a rare moment alone. We're like batteries that can't take a charge
00:00:27Thanks, thank you
00:00:31Oh
00:00:32Love these how much oh, I'm not saying whoo that much huh? Yeah, but I'm worth it
00:00:40Girl has to have her toys. I guess. Oh, come on now. I've worked like a dog for everything. I've got
00:00:44I think I deserve to pamper myself every now and then I suppose
00:00:50Do you ever think about chucking it all and doing something else
00:00:53Of course not. Oh
00:00:55I love my life. Come on, Jane. What about a family with Richard?
00:01:00He must be joking. Oh, please. He's not exactly father material. It doesn't have to be with Richard somebody else anybody
00:01:09Honestly, I just I don't see it and listen, I mean, I love your kids more than life itself
00:01:18I mean, I love your kids more than life itself. I
00:01:23Don't know. They're just they're just not my thing. You would make a great mother Oh doubtful
00:01:28I don't really think I'm the maternal type. Well, it's a shame. I would love it
00:01:33If you would have kids Oh misery loves company, huh? Yeah, something like that. Oh, I gotta run
00:01:39I'm doing court interesting case. Yeah, I'm defending a man who thinks he's Santa Claus. You're kidding. Yeah, it's a seasonal
00:01:49The tax evasion case really exciting and for this I'm missing my kids childhood including Derek's Christmas pageant
00:01:57Well, I'll see you tomorrow. You can't wait. I will make us some industrial strength. No, please. Merry merry. Have a good day
00:02:18I was
00:02:28Hey there
00:02:30Well, this is a nice surprise
00:02:34What brings you here
00:02:36Merry Christmas. I
00:02:39Thought we were doing gifts tomorrow. Oh, I wasn't sure if you were gonna come
00:02:42Oh, why wouldn't I well cuz mom is gonna be there with Adam. So
00:02:49That doesn't bother you, of course not I enjoy meeting your mother's boyfriends. Oh, please you can't be serious
00:02:55No, I am it makes me grateful for what but I'm not them
00:02:59All right. Now stop you promise you behave scouts honor
00:03:04What's on the menu for tomorrow? Oh
00:03:06coconut curry duck
00:03:11Here we are
00:03:14I'm very crowded in here. Huh? I mean Christmas and all this is a mob scene compared to usual
00:03:23Are you okay?
00:03:24Financially, I mean, don't you worry about your old dad
00:03:28It's like I always say I know make more or desire less. I don't need much
00:03:35And with what I've got I'm happy
00:03:38You're gonna open that should I wait?
00:03:50Oh
00:03:53Hey, it's beautiful
00:03:57What is it? It's a PDA. What's that?
00:04:01It's a little computer. What does it do?
00:04:04Come on dad, it's to hold all your important information your schedules phone numbers memos, you name it, huh?
00:04:13You hate it. No, I love it. It's beautiful, but I already have a little computer you do. Yeah, it's called my brain
00:04:22It terrible. I'm horrible
00:04:25We got time for some tea
00:04:27No, I'm sorry. I gotta run always running
00:04:31I'm meeting Richard for lunch
00:04:33How is Peter Pan daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't say that go run I'll see you tomorrow
00:05:03I
00:05:22Don't screw with me here. What did you say sweetheart? I don't need this kind of attitude. Well, excuse me. I just I
00:05:29I
00:05:31Know I think we're both under a lot of pressure here and then maybe we should just table this until after Christmas
00:05:37Right, okay. Okay. Well you take care and I'll talk to you then have a good holiday and all that. Okay. Bye
00:05:45Sorry
00:05:47No rest for the wicked Germans always the Germans I feel like a babysitter
00:05:53Shall we no, look no can do you tell them that two million is our final offer. Bye
00:06:00Sorry
00:06:02Really hate fighting for your attention here. Do you think we could shut that thing off for the rest of lunch, honey?
00:06:07I'd love to but I'm writing them
00:06:09Well, hello
00:06:11What have you been keeping yourself?
00:06:15Jane this is Jessica Jessica's with Dalton and Derby the best bond trader. I know
00:06:20She's taking me to the cleaners more than once I wish hello
00:06:25You know, you and I are way overdue to break bread. Hmm. Well, we'll have lunch in the new year
00:06:29I'll call this afternoon set something up. I'll wait by the phone. All right
00:06:39Close personal friend. No, I can't stand her. She's a killer
00:06:43Why did I have to run into her now?
00:06:45Obligated to have lunch with her if I don't call and it's bad for you know, what Richard let's just talk about something else
00:06:52Like what I don't know. Let's just not talk about business for a while. Okay. Sure. Great. What do you want to talk about?
00:07:03I don't know the future us our future is great
00:07:11What exactly is our future
00:07:14Well, it's it's great. It's it's terrific. It's everything coming up roses and all that
00:07:18I mean, I don't have a crystal ball or anything. But from where I'm standing, so we're just gonna keep on going as we are
00:07:25Of course, I mean, it's terrific. I'm happy. You're happy. I mean why rock the boat God forbid?
00:07:33What you're not happy I
00:07:35Wouldn't exactly say I was unhappy great, but that's great. You know, I am so glad we had this talk
00:07:44Listen I hate to eat and run but I've got a big meeting. Do I have anything on my teeth? No
00:07:57Calls right now Merry Christmas to you, too. Sorry. Thank you
00:08:05Morning hate Christmas. It's a stressful time today
00:08:08Katie curves did a report on how Christmas is the most stressful time of the year the suicide rate goes up
00:08:14I mean way up like triples or something. There's a big relapse rate among alcoholics and a not helping
00:08:22Sorry, you want to look at these? Sure
00:08:26This is probably a bad time to ask you this but do you mind if I take off early tonight?
00:08:31You got something going on. Yeah, I got people coming over for Christmas Eve
00:08:36You're Jewish. Yeah, I like ritual. So sue me besides it's not fair you go and get Christmas all to yourselves
00:08:43Sure, take off whenever you need to I'm ready to call it a year. Anyhow, thanks. Thanks. Oh wait before you go
00:08:50This is for you
00:08:52Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah Joyce Kwanzaa, whatever. Should I open it now? Yeah
00:09:05Oh
00:09:08Great what Oh what you don't like it? No, no. No, it's it's great. It's just that
00:09:16What
00:09:18Oh
00:09:30No, oh no, I gave the same bag last year Oh Renee, I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry. I'll return it
00:09:37Oh, don't be silly. I'll return it. I could get a whole new wardrobe in exchange for this. You know me
00:09:43I live to shop. I feel like an idiot. I'm so sorry
00:09:47It's the thought that counts it really is
00:09:52Jane Barry's office. Oh
00:09:54Hi, mrs. B. Oh, well, she may have just gone down the hall. Let me check
00:10:00It's your mother not now
00:10:02She says it's urgent. Oh, please with my mother. It's always urgent
00:10:06Hi
00:10:11Mother Merry Christmas
00:10:14Hello, sweetie. Merry merry to you, too. How's my little sugar plum?
00:10:22I wanted to know what time we should come over tomorrow
00:10:26We so Adam is coming
00:10:30I'm not gonna leave him alone on Christmas. Well, don't forget his high chair
00:10:36Pretend I didn't hear that very very snide remark
00:10:42But you do realize that daddy is gonna be there right fine fine
00:10:46I'll just have to rise to the occasion
00:10:49No scenes, please. Okay. I do not want to repeat of last year. My conduct last year was unimpeachable
00:10:55I was not the one who threw the wine goblet. You were threatening him with a carving knife
00:10:59I may have been gesturing with a knife for emphasis, but I would never
00:11:06Just want everybody to behave like grown-ups for once. All right, then you should be lecturing your father not me fine mother
00:11:13Just stop it. Okay. Look we're gonna eat at four. All right, four ish is perfect
00:11:17No, not four ish four. Okay. I am NOT gonna hold dinner again this year
00:11:23When have I ever been late punctuality is my middle name
00:11:28Great, whatever you say. Well Richard be joining us
00:11:32Of course, do I hear wedding bells no must be the feedback from your hearing aid I
00:11:40Don't know why you must be so unpleasant
00:11:43Is it wrong for a mother to want to see her daughter happily married? Oh, look, you know what mom Renee?
00:11:48Just put a note down in front of me. I have an emergency. I've got to run down the hall. Okay, so
00:11:54Bye
00:12:02I
00:12:08I'm gonna get out of here now if that's all right. Sure
00:12:11Go ahead
00:12:12Leave me in the lurch go off to your exciting wonderful life
00:12:16Getting smashed on eggnog with four lonely gay guys is not exactly my definition of a wonderful exciting life. Well
00:12:24It sounds good to me
00:12:26You okay? Oh
00:12:28Yeah, I'm fine
00:12:30Because I'm just not feeling very Christmassy this year. You know what I recommend for that
00:12:35heavy drinking
00:12:37Sound advice, you know, you're welcome to swing by my place later. Now. Definitely be some heavy drinking going on there
00:12:43Well, you know what? I would love to but I'm gonna wait through some of this before I head out to mr.
00:12:48Jorkin's party God. I wish I didn't have to go
00:12:51price of success
00:12:54Anyway, I want you to have the merriest of Christmas
00:12:59You too, thanks. Bye now. Hey
00:13:16Have yourself a merry
00:13:28I
00:13:52Wasn't really sad
00:13:58Oh
00:14:28Oh
00:14:48We all right, oh
00:14:51Gosh, I don't know. Oh
00:14:54Wow, that's gonna leave him work. I heard the crash and my heart stopped
00:14:59could you just
00:15:01Give me a hand. I need to
00:15:03Get out
00:15:17Where where's my car it's right there
00:15:23No, no, that that is not my car. I I drive a Jaguar
00:15:28What three-month teenage princess you've driven that old car for years
00:15:33Wait a minute. Well, how would you even know what I drive? I damn well better know what you drive
00:15:39We've been married for ten years. Excuse me. I just what wait, what did you just say that we've been married for ten?
00:15:46We mean by that
00:15:49Just wait a minute
00:15:51What you don't recognize me do you know I don't I
00:15:59Don't know who you are I
00:16:03Have never seen you before in my life, okay, you're really scaring me. I think I think we need to get to a doctor
00:16:10I'm fine. I'm fine James. Really? I'm just what did you call me?
00:16:16Jane that's your name. No, I I know my name. How do you know my lucky guess? I don't know
00:16:21Look, you're really acting loopy. I think you've got a concussion. You know, what's something really weird is going on. Yeah you
00:16:27Just what? What is this? Where's my coat? What what happened to my clothes? Did you want to rest?
00:16:33Oh, you've got to be kidding me. What?
00:16:36All right. Look just everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down. All right
00:16:39Let's get in the house and we'll call a doctor. No one I just need to leave please
00:16:43I just want to make sure you're all right, okay
00:16:54Come on watch your step
00:17:01What
00:17:09Come right over here sit down
00:17:13I will get an ice pack for your head sit down. That's right. You know what? I'm fine. Really. That's a nasty bruise
00:17:19I'm gonna call. Dr. Atkinson. See if she can come take a look at what truly it's very considerate of you
00:17:24But I gotta be going no
00:17:27You are not going anywhere
00:17:29What's going on?
00:17:31There's been a little accident car accident. No
00:17:36Kids, that's nice. We have kids. Oh
00:17:39No, no
00:17:41What's with mommy mommy, hmm
00:17:45Okay, look, you know what? This is just really too weird. Okay. All right. Let me state this once
00:17:52Uncategorically and for the record, this is not funny. All right joke is over
00:17:57Okay, I am NOT married to you and I certainly don't have kids. So I'm just gonna be going mommy
00:18:02You're scaring me. You're freaking him out. Will you just calm down? I'm freaking them out. How do you think I feel?
00:18:07Well, you've had a scary experience. You're in shock. I'm shocked
00:18:12Completely in control of all of my senses
00:18:14Just leave it
00:18:16Leaving on Christmas Eve. Are you two getting divorced? No, no, no one's getting divorced. Your mom's just upset. She's not herself
00:18:24Troy go in the kitchen. Call. Dr. Atkinson the numbers by the phone tell her mom's had an accident
00:18:31Don't leave it's Christmas you can't
00:18:36Really I don't know what's going on here
00:18:38Okay, and I certainly don't want to ruin anyone's Christmas, but I just I don't know you people, honey
00:18:43I just really I think we should wish each other a nice Merry Christmas and and be going our separate ways
00:18:49You're not okay to go anywhere. Now. Just let the doctor take a look at you and then we'll regroup
00:18:57Good did you get her? She's on her way good. Just let the doctor take a look
00:19:06Look to the left
00:19:08Now look up
00:19:12It's fine I
00:19:13Can't see anything. There's clearly no nerve damage because your pupils aren't even dilated and there's no indication that you've even had a concussion
00:19:22Well, then Sam, let me talk to you
00:19:28You rest easy now
00:19:32Mom are you going nuts?
00:19:35Maybe
00:19:37Probably I am NOT your mother. Yes, you are. I know my own mother. What's it like to go nuts? Oh
00:19:46Your voices sure
00:19:49That's so cool
00:19:51And she didn't recognize anything not even the kids. No, it's like she dropped in from outer space
00:19:56so
00:19:57If you go really crazy
00:20:00Maybe you'll start to see people
00:20:03Maybe you'll start to see people who aren't even there. It's already happening. Oh
00:20:14My god, uh, you know what I am
00:20:21Mommy
00:20:22Has to make a phone call to an imaginary person. No, no to a very real person, but it's kind of private
00:20:29So could you leave me alone for a minute?
00:20:31Okay, okay
00:20:35John me to shut the door. That would be great. Thank you
00:20:39Sure
00:20:56Hello, mr. Jorkins, hi, it's Jane Barry. Merry Christmas
00:21:02I'm so sorry. I'm I'm late to your party. I I had a little accident
00:21:07No, no, I'm I'm fine. Yeah, I should be there soon actually
00:21:15Jane Jane Jane Barry vice president of advertising
00:21:21You have a vague recollection of me
00:21:26That's nice
00:21:29Well, no, no, of course I realize it's it's a private party it's just hello mr. Jim
00:21:37I
00:21:51Have heard of things like this before but I've never seen it. It's sort of a
00:21:56situational amnesia brought on by trauma or shock
00:21:59It's usually short-lived and disappears as quickly as it came on the idea when oh, there's no way of knowing
00:22:06Maybe tonight or it could be a couple of weeks. I wish I could tell you now
00:22:10I can admit her to the hospital tonight if it'll make you feel better on Christmas Eve. Oh, I know
00:22:16It's not the best time imaginable
00:22:19And I honestly don't think it'll help
00:22:21Well might disorient her even more
00:22:25Chances are what she really needs is a good night's sleep great
00:22:37Jane
00:22:43Jane Jane
00:23:06Oh
00:23:20It's Jane
00:23:37Come in come in I can't believe you came by
00:23:41Everybody this is Jane Jane's the great boss. I told you about Jane
00:23:46This is Wally Donnie Bill and Albert also known as the four horsemen of the apocalypse. I'm pestilence
00:23:54Merry Christmas. Thank you
00:23:57Gosh, I'm not intruding. Oh, are you kidding? I'm delighted
00:24:01Wow, I love love your hair. Did you get that done this afternoon?
00:24:05No, no, no, I've had it like this for a while now, huh? Oh, no, it's well, it's great
00:24:13So, what are you watching? Oh, well, I wanted to watch white Christmas, but the boys wanted to watch Easter Parade
00:24:19Judy is a woman for all seasons
00:24:21Can't go wrong with Judy. So we compromised on Sunset Boulevard. Oh
00:24:26Quiet. This is the best part. Oh as if you haven't seen this a hundred times
00:24:31Wait a minute. Haven't I seen you before? I know your face get out or shall I call my servant?
00:24:36You know, I'm a Desmond used to be in silent pictures used to be big. I
00:24:42Am big it's the pictures that got small
00:24:52Come Sid tell me how you been. How are Sam and the kids?
00:24:57What did you say?
00:24:58How are Sam and the kids?
00:25:03How did you know about them
00:25:07Well, it's not exactly a secret
00:25:14Yeah, oh come on Renee look you I mean, you know me I you guy you know, I don't have a family
00:25:20Are you getting divorced? What did you getting? No, we're gonna get divorced. I'm not even I'm not married. Okay, Jane
00:25:27Janie you freaking me out a little here
00:25:31Okay
00:25:33Okay, you know, it's just it's been a long day. I'm a little confused. I just need to work things out. Okay
00:25:42so
00:25:43How long have you not had a family?
00:25:45I have no family. Can we just stop talking about the family that I do not have?
00:25:50Okay, fine. Whatever no family. Got it. Okay, honey
00:25:56I
00:26:12Hi Jane, this is this is a surprise
00:26:21Can I come in it's it's not really a good time, you know, I mean Christmas Eve, you know, honey, who is it?
00:26:27Oh
00:26:30I
00:26:31see, that's
00:26:33Not a good time, huh? Yeah. All right. Well, I get it. I get it
00:26:37Otherwise engaged. Are you?
00:26:44Oh my god
00:26:47Jessica that this is Jane. I think the two of you may have met in the past
00:26:51Right the past yeah, how about this afternoon at sushi? No. Wow, you don't waste any time. Do you excuse me?
00:26:59Listen, Jane, it's it's it's really nice to see you. But but this is this is kind of awkward
00:27:04Yeah, I'll bet I'd love to get together sometime. I really would it's just that now it's you know, it's not really a good time
00:27:11So that's it. We spend two years together and you just dumped me on Christmas Eve. What are you talking about?
00:27:18I haven't seen you Jane and almost
00:27:20ten years
00:27:25Ten years
00:27:26Yeah, ever since you left me for that guy. What was his name?
00:27:31Sam. Yeah. Yeah, that was it Sam
00:27:37He's really
00:27:40He exists
00:27:43No for your sake I I certainly hope so because I'd hate to think that you left me for some some figment of your imagination
00:27:50No, no Sam is real
00:27:55My kids are real too, I guess
00:27:59It's all real
00:28:02It's it's great to see you Jane
00:28:05We'll do lunch sometime
00:28:07Yeah
00:28:20You
00:28:36Can I help you you live here, right
00:28:42Yeah, I hope so
00:28:46Just check
00:28:50You
00:29:20You
00:29:22You
00:29:24You
00:29:46Jane
00:29:48Oh
00:29:51Sec here
00:29:53Look, I I don't know what's going on here. I started out this evening a single woman driving a Jaguar and
00:30:01Somehow I turned into this with this wife and mother driving a terminally ill station wagon
00:30:07None of this makes any sense to me. You know, I'm willing to concede that I have lost my mind, but
00:30:14You have to believe me when I tell you that I don't know you
00:30:19I've never seen you before in my life
00:30:27I believe you I
00:30:31You seem like a really nice guy, which is good because you know, apparently we're married apparently I
00:30:41Wouldn't even be here, you know, except that I I
00:30:45Don't know where else to go even my driver's license says I live here so no matter what I may think
00:30:54This seems to be my life, it's a wonderful life
00:30:59Is that a joke a little seasonal humor, huh, it's very good. Thank you
00:31:08So, what do you think we should do
00:31:10You could start by coming in you think absolutely
00:31:23No funny stuff I grow
00:31:41I
00:31:48Dad and Santa come yet. Not yet. Try go back to sleep
00:31:55Mom are you still nuts?
00:31:59Completely that's okay. I don't care. I'm just glad you're home. I was worried
00:32:10I
00:32:14Can't forget you know, Merry Christmas Merry Christmas
00:32:23So, what do you want to do, uh
00:32:26No, no, this is kind of awkward
00:32:28Think if it's it's all the same to you. I'll just sleep down here on the couch. Don't be silly. I'll sleep out here
00:32:34You sure? No, no big deal. I have to put together Heather's new dollhouse. Anyhow, oh
00:32:40I could help you. No, it's okay. Oh, yeah, really I'd love to I
00:32:45When I was Heather's age, I used to love Barbies
00:32:48Where is it? It's right where we hit it
00:32:51Oh
00:33:08Man this is gonna be a major operation
00:33:11Where's the glue
00:33:22Like you and me
00:33:24Have to stop saying things like that. I told you I grow on people
00:33:31All right, I don't know what any of this
00:33:33Okay, I want the chin. This is the chin aware. Oh, well like I know it's a party. That's you can make the bed
00:33:39The bed
00:34:10You
00:34:14Need anything a
00:34:17Toothbrush would be nice toothbrushes are in the holder above the sink. Mine's green. Yours is purple
00:34:24Did you say purple
00:34:27Just I mean because I always get a purple toothbrush I mean from before I know
00:34:34Purple's your lucky color
00:34:36Well, I guess some things never change
00:34:39I guess not
00:34:46It's like well
00:35:09You
00:35:39I
00:36:10Okay, okay mom cool it I guess she's still crazy
00:36:14What's wrong? Mom still spazzed out. Oh, this is my life change. It's just calm down
00:36:27No, of course not that's what they do in the movie. Well, this isn't a movie. I've completely lost my mind
00:36:31It's okay Troy get your mother a glass of water. Okay?
00:36:35All right, just breathe Jane breathe that
00:36:40I'm good. Okay
00:36:53Thanks, you did that
00:37:09I don't know
00:37:24We're two guys on a motorcycle, it's Steve McQueen. I'm Steve McQueen. Well, he's
00:37:33Never mind, do you like it? It's awesome. Thanks, Dad
00:37:38Thanks, Mom
00:37:54Wow
00:37:57This is incredible, that's great who gave you that
00:38:02You did oh
00:38:05Well, I always did have good taste
00:38:10You can open your presents
00:38:12Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I feel kind of strange. Well, don't be silly. They're yours. Maybe they'll jog your memory
00:38:20Won't hold my breath. Oh
00:38:28Wow Oh Ella Fitzgerald, oh, I love Ella Fitzgerald
00:38:34Oh
00:38:37Thank you
00:38:40Hey, how about some jingle bells? Yeah
00:38:45Okay
00:38:47Oh
00:39:17Hey
00:39:29Mary Mary, oh, I love this
00:39:34Hey a little Christmas cheer who's ready to get sloshed
00:39:42Hi, sweetie
00:39:47Merry Christmas everyone
00:39:49Where's Phil? Oh, he came down with a fever last night and he didn't want to infect anyone poor guy. What a drag
00:39:55Yeah, I think he's thankful for the peace and quiet kids gave an instructional golf video and that's what he was watching when we left
00:40:03Can I talk to you for a minute yeah
00:40:06What happened?
00:40:08She was drag racing in a lamppost detector poor baby. Are you okay? Yeah
00:40:15We really need to talk follow me
00:40:18I
00:40:26Okay
00:40:28So let me get this straight
00:40:30You don't remember getting married or having kids. Nope. None of it. Nope
00:40:37That's a biggie
00:40:39What is the last thing that you remember before all of this happened?
00:40:43Leaving Marley and Jorkin's yesterday and and driving to mr. Jorkin's Christmas party
00:40:48Oh, hon, you have not worked at Marley and Jorkin's in at least 10 years. So everyone keeps telling me
00:40:57Well, I can see why you're so freaked out
00:41:00Look, none of this makes sense. You know, I'm sure that Sam and the kids are lovely
00:41:06But you know what? I just I really I want my life back
00:41:09Well, that's a problem because there's no way to get there from here
00:41:13You think I've lost my mind, don't you? Hmm. No, I think you've been through a very traumatic experience and everything's gonna come back to you
00:41:19really soon
00:41:21What are you doing to that stuff? I didn't catch up
00:41:24of course
00:41:26So you really you really think that all of this is just gonna come flooding back this new life, of course
00:41:33Although there are worse things than waking up and discovering you're married to Sam Keller if that happened to me
00:41:37I think I would have died and gone to heaven
00:41:40So
00:41:42You think I've done okay in this new life that I completely don't recognize honey you won the lottery
00:41:54You two okay in here we're fine a little confused but fine, you know about our little dilemma
00:42:01What do you think? Well, I try to look on the bright side. At least this breaks up your normal routine
00:42:07No kidding makes everything new again. No, yes, you can look at it that way. It's sort of complicated
00:42:12Yeah, but you guys get to fall in love all over again
00:42:21Well
00:42:24We need to get ready
00:42:27For what church?
00:42:29Church. Oh, man. I haven't been to church in years. Well, you have to go you're president of the altar guilt
00:42:37What you the pillar of the community? You're kidding me. Come on. I've never been a pillar of anything
00:42:41Well, you are now and the altar guilt is serving Christmas lunch to the homeless and you're in charge
00:42:47No way. Yes way. Oh
00:42:50Can't you just call him tell him I'm sick or that I've lost my mind
00:42:55Look, I'm freaked out enough as it is here. You know, the last thing I want to do is spend Christmas with a bunch of
00:43:00homeless people
00:43:03That's what I do what I
00:43:10Work with homeless people Sam is director of a drug and alcohol center on skid row
00:43:20I'm I'm sorry Sam. I just I didn't know
00:43:25It's alright
00:43:27How could you know I guess?
00:43:30But if it makes you too uncomfortable you should stay here I don't want to drag you I just
00:43:34Thought it would be nice for Christmas. Give something back. Yeah
00:43:39Sure, you know, of course, of course, I'll go I mean, you know, especially if I'm in charge
00:43:47great
00:43:49Look, you're gonna have to help me through this. Don't I always I don't know. Do you I
00:43:55Know silly question
00:43:59I
00:44:05Haven't done charity work in my whole life
00:44:07Listen, my darling girl when you come out of this fog that you're in you are going to be so pleased with the person that
00:44:13You have become
00:44:29I
00:44:57Can't do this
00:45:00Sam I don't know. What do I do?
00:45:02It's real simple. You just take the food from the bowls. You put it on plates and you hand it to people
00:45:06Think you can handle that
00:45:08Yes, I guess I can do that
00:45:11Where did all this food come from? Anyway, what is this deli? No, you cooked it. I don't cook
00:45:17You're a great cook mommy, especially your macaroni and cheese
00:45:21It's from a package mutant
00:45:24It's still great
00:45:27I
00:45:28Don't know any of the other volunteers. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. Merry Christmas would be nice
00:45:33I'll see you. I'm a fraud. Okay, I'm not who these people think I am. Okay, they don't know that
00:45:38You've dropped in from another planet. So if you don't tell them I won't be our little secret
00:45:56Oh
00:46:26No, we could use some more plates
00:46:49Thanks, Joe, no problem
00:46:51No, this isn't so bad
00:46:54No, get a knack for this sort of thing. Oh fresh
00:47:07There's a guy out there who's not eating that's Nate
00:47:11Is he hungry I don't think he's strong enough to serve himself our guys dying of emphysema. I see him down at the center a lot
00:47:20Take him a plate. It's okay dad. I'll do it
00:47:23Hey be my guest
00:47:42Want some lunch, mr. Nelson
00:47:54Oh, maybe I should cut it for you
00:47:58Oh
00:48:22Did you see that
00:48:28Amazing kid
00:48:33Is yourself
00:48:48Damn this thing like it needs some spark plugs, you know, really you should just get a new car cuz this one is we can't afford
00:48:59I
00:49:02Don't be silly please I have a lot of money saved up. Well, maybe you had a fortune in parallel universe land
00:49:07But you're on earth for brother. I
00:49:10Wonder I have such a dumpy wardrobe. I don't have a dumpy wardrobe simple and nice
00:49:28Can't believe I'm having this conversation with you of all people
00:49:32More to life Jane money and flashy cars and expensive clothes
00:49:37So that's it. You're just content to be broke. This is what I chose
00:49:42No, I'm just
00:49:44You don't want more. Of course. I want more. It's human nature, but I don't need it
00:49:49Everything I need I have right here
00:49:52Make more desire less
00:49:55You've heard him say that all the time. He's like a broken record
00:50:00Come on, you can't have a conversation with a guy without him saying that this is true
00:50:09And as much as I could do without your dad's platitudes gotta admit he has a point
00:50:21Come on
00:50:51You
00:51:21You
00:51:51You
00:52:21Oh
00:52:51Oh
00:53:21Oh
00:53:41Here mommy let me show you how
00:53:52Oh good job, thank you
00:54:09So tell me something sure what
00:54:14How long have we known each other ten years ten years ago yesterday as a matter of fact
00:54:20You're kidding we met on Christmas Eve pretty romantic, huh? Well, I'll have to take your word for it
00:54:28So
00:54:30Was it love at first sight you sure seem to think so. You said that you always loved me. I said that
00:54:37Yeah, your exact words in our first conversation
00:54:40It was one hell of an icebreaker
00:54:42Wow, that doesn't that doesn't sound like me. I
00:54:46Must have been smitten. Well, I'd like to think it was with good reason. Oh
00:54:51Well, what about you? Were you smitten? You were pretty cute. But was it love at first sight?
00:54:58and ever since I
00:55:03Should really go check on the turkey turkey's fine Jane. Don't you find all of this really strange?
00:55:09It's not exactly how I wanted to spend Christmas this year, but I'm adjusting. It's just
00:55:15It doesn't make any sense to me that I would be leading this life. Well, you are you just don't remember it yet
00:55:20What if I never remember it? We'll cross that bridge if and when we get to it
00:55:26And that would be your father early as always no, no, wait, okay. No, look I can't I can't do this
00:55:31All right, please it's bad enough that I've lost my mind. I really don't want to deal with my parents as well
00:55:36I can handle it's just your folks
00:55:45Sure, can we just not tell my parents anything that's going on really
00:55:59Let's just get through the evening, okay, they already think I'm nuts. I really don't want to add fuel to the fire
00:56:03I mean, please let's just pretend. Okay for argument's sake that this is my life. It will be easier. Trust me if you're sure
00:56:12Okay
00:56:15Oh
00:56:17Hey, yeah, hi, how are you? Great? Merry Christmas old timer. That's right. Mock your elders
00:56:26So, uh, honey, uh, hey
00:56:28What is that? What are you done with your head? Oh
00:56:32Well, you know, it's a long story. I got all night. She crashed a car and went nuts. You crashed your car
00:56:39Might go nuts too. Are you okay? No like crazy not she doesn't even know who we are
00:56:45What are they talking about?
00:56:47Just being funny, you know a little Christmas mischief
00:56:50I'm not trying to be funny. Neither am I
00:56:54Okay, why don't we go check on the turkey and get grandpa drink Scotch? Yeah, you got my number Sam
00:57:00Good, man
00:57:04Oh the kids, oh who knows they're just joking around I guess
00:57:09All right, if you say so
00:57:12What time's dinner I need a horse soon dad I've been fasting all day saving up for your special turkey
00:57:22My special turkey, of course, yum, how do you season it? By the way, I've always meant to ask
00:57:31It's a secret from your father, yep, whatever you do it's a vast improvement over how you used to cook
00:57:38What does that mean don't be mad but
00:57:41You're a wonderful cook now, but the Christmas dinners you used to make pre Sam
00:57:47Well, they were a challenge to put it kindly
00:57:50Well, that's a terrible thing to say terrible but true
00:57:55You're cooking and everything about you
00:57:57Change for the better about the time you met Sam
00:58:00So why didn't you ever tell me that my cooking was so horrible, honey? You're my daughter and I love you
00:58:05I would have eaten dog food if you'd given it to me
00:58:08Sometimes dog food would have been preferable. Well, great. Okay, so this is this is just the new and improved Jane
00:58:17Remember the duck you cooked
00:58:22Exploding serving
00:58:26We were picking glass shards out of that damn thing all night
00:58:29All this talk about food is making me even hungrier, let's eat. Yeah. Well, we have to wait for mother
00:58:35Oh, i'm sure she'll be sailing in on her broomstick any moment now daddy
00:58:41Speak of the devil. No, you promised your best behavior
00:58:44No scenes. I'm always on my best behavior. Yeah
00:58:48Oh, darling, i'm so sorry. I'm late. Hello mother
00:58:52I hope I didn't keep everyone waiting. No more than usual. Don't start with me. You wouldn't believe the traffic
00:58:58I thought people were supposed to stay home on christmas all these dreadful people out on the road
00:59:05Don't worry about it. Mother dinner is not quite ready yet. Oh
00:59:08Good, you know what? I'm not I am about punctuality. I just hate it when people are late
00:59:14I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
00:59:18You know what I'm not I am about punctuality
00:59:21I just hate to keep people waiting. It's like a religion with me. It's fine mother
00:59:27Where is uh, where's adam?
00:59:29adam
00:59:30What are you talking about?
00:59:32I haven't seen him in ages. She traded him in for a better model
00:59:36you are so
00:59:38Crass
00:59:39I don't know why I even talk to you. It's my natural charm, I guess
00:59:43Ah some holiday cheer and not a moment too soon. Merry christmas. Frederica
00:59:48And the same to you sam. Do you want a drink?
00:59:51Well, you know, I hardly ever ever indulge but it is christmas. What do you want a double martini stirred?
00:59:58Not shaken with a lemon twist. No olive and if you're smart sam, you'll you'll make that a single
01:00:05What's that supposed to mean?
01:00:06That you'd be better off if you paced yourself for a change. You're a fine one to talk
01:00:11You swill down scotch like it's water. I don't swill
01:00:15I will not have you of all people
01:00:18Lecturing me about my drinking. You know what will you two just stop it, please?
01:00:25You know, I swear some things never change. What do you mean by that?
01:00:31Nothing I just uh nothing never mind
01:00:37So how did your speech at the mentor program christmas luncheon go
01:00:41My speech, yeah, what'd you say?
01:00:45Um, well, you know
01:00:48Nothing, it really it wasn't that interesting nonsense. I'm sure it was fabulous. What did you talk about?
01:00:56Well, really it's it's sort of
01:00:59Confidential
01:01:01Your speech. Yes made it a public luncheon. Yes a speech that was covered by the newspaper
01:01:05Well, we don't really expect that anyone will read the articles
01:01:08That's that's very strange
01:01:11I mean, I thought the whole idea of the luncheon was to raise the profile of the organization
01:01:16It was it it is it's just we wanted to do it
01:01:21in secret
01:01:22jane
01:01:24Is the mentor program some kind of clandestine organization?
01:01:31No
01:01:33Of course not, you know, no, we want people to know what we're talking about
01:01:36No, we want people to know about it. Just you know
01:01:40not
01:01:41now
01:01:45Well guess who dropped into the store two days ago who lori adler
01:01:53Who's lori adler, oh, come on, you know lori
01:01:57and
01:01:57I
01:01:59Know her how darling. Are you all right?
01:02:02I'm fine. I'm i'm fine. I'm just having a little trouble recalling who lori adler is
01:02:10Your old friend
01:02:12The woman that you ran the boston marathon with no
01:02:15See not that lori adler. I I was thinking of a of another
01:02:21lori adler that I
01:02:23ran another marathon
01:02:26with she knows
01:02:28two lori adler's
01:02:30I don't think I knew that when did you run another marathon with this other lori adler?
01:02:36I really don't
01:02:39Recently actually really it was it was a long time ago. I
01:02:44I don't like to talk about it. It's
01:02:46painful memory
01:02:48Do these two women know each other? Yes
01:02:51Not well, they've met I try to keep them separate why in god's name? Well the other
01:02:58lori adler
01:03:01stole the
01:03:03friend lori adler's
01:03:06Last name her real name is smith
01:03:11Why would she do a thing like that I don't know
01:03:16It's just a very
01:03:19Tense situation, you know, we don't we don't talk about it's why I keep them separate. Are you sure you're okay?
01:03:26Couldn't be better
01:03:28Yeah
01:03:32Your libation madam
01:03:36Thank you
01:03:42Oh
01:03:43a masterpiece
01:03:45I must say you do know your way around a martini sam
01:03:49And you would certainly know
01:03:51I'm warning you don't start. Did I say something? You are the most insufferable man
01:03:57I'm, just gonna pretend you're not even here. Is that a promise? You know what, please? All right, please will you stop?
01:04:03God, you're worse now than when you were married
01:04:08What are you talking about we are married
01:04:11What did you say
01:04:14We are married
01:04:16We were remarried five years ago
01:04:18Yeah
01:04:27Oh
01:04:32My parents got remarried i'm, sorry, it didn't occur to me to tell you I just keep thinking, you know stuff like that
01:04:37Well, I don't
01:04:38I I don't know anything
01:04:41Is she drunk
01:04:43I think she must have had a concussion
01:04:45Did you see that bruise on her head? I saw it. I didn't want to say anything
01:04:50What happened her car crashed yesterday?
01:04:53Oh
01:04:54Oh my goodness. Well
01:04:57Well, clearly she's in shock
01:04:59Well, i've never seen her like this
01:05:01And that bruise does look nasty. I have a good man for that
01:05:05Fabrica, she doesn't need cosmetic surgery
01:05:09Why did you assume i'm referring to cosmetic surgery
01:05:13I know nothing about cosmetic surgery
01:05:17Hi grandma
01:05:18Just please calm down. It'll be okay. It'll all come back
01:05:22I don't know if I want it to come back. You know, what kind of life is this anyway?
01:05:26I have no job. No money. No pass nothing
01:05:29You have a family that loves you
01:05:33And you're strangers to me
01:05:36I don't even know you what kind of life is that for you better than life without you
01:05:45Um, grandma wants another martini a double tell her dinner's ready
01:05:52Grandma
01:05:56It's like christmas, huh
01:06:00Life with you is never dull
01:06:13Thank you, you're welcome
01:06:19Would you like to say grace jane, why would I do that?
01:06:23You always say grace
01:06:28Of course I do. Yes, I need that. So, okay
01:06:37God, uh
01:06:39well
01:06:41I'm, not quite quite sure how to thank you for all the blessings that you've given me and in my
01:06:48family
01:06:51Uh
01:06:53It's been interesting christmas full of surprises
01:06:56Well, really not how I thought i'd be spending christmas actually nothing like how I thought i'd be
01:07:04Christmas it's um, but you're the boss, right?
01:07:11You're in charge i'm really grateful, uh for
01:07:17Thy bounty
01:07:19And thy goodness for thy
01:07:24Bigness
01:07:28For thy leading us not into our trespassers
01:07:32who
01:07:33Lives in rain with the holy spirit
01:07:36Forgive us now
01:07:38And in the hour of our need
01:07:41For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for ever and ever
01:07:46Amen amen amen. Amen. That was an unusual prayer. I thought it was nice mom. Thank you, honey
01:07:57The stuffing is interesting what'd you season it with ketchup
01:08:03Interesting
01:08:06I could season it with
01:08:08ketchup
01:08:09ketchup
01:08:12Interesting
01:08:16I think it's great. Jane. Thank you. Sam
01:08:23Jane your father told me about your accident. Are you sure you're quite yourself?
01:08:32Why would you ask that well, you just seemed a little off
01:08:35Off off, you know behaving erratically, you know, like the old jane
01:08:44You know
01:08:45What exactly was wrong with the old jane? I happen to like the old jane. So did I?
01:08:51It's just that everybody me included and you too. I hope
01:08:55Seem to like the new jane better
01:09:01Huh
01:09:02Uh, sam, could I see you in the kitchen for a moment? What for I need to discuss the turkey
01:09:07Uh, the turkey's on the table. Uh, it's a little dry. I'm concerned about the leftovers
01:09:11Can we talk about really need to talk about it now, sam?
01:09:17She worries about the leftovers it's it's a real thing with her sam really need you now, excuse me
01:09:25Okay
01:09:31What is going on with her I told you she's gone nuts
01:09:36How dare you call your mother nuts? Troy's right. She doesn't remember who we are. She's still funny. Nice though
01:09:44Now i'm completely lost
01:09:49Ketchup
01:09:50Once upon a time I could handle things
01:09:53I could remember the past my past. I knew what kind of car I drove. I knew my friend's name
01:09:57I could remember a speech i'd given
01:10:00Now I I can't remember anything. Do you remember yesterday?
01:10:05Yes, good. Well, that's a start we can build on that
01:10:09Now, let's just get through dinner and then we'll send your parents off into the night to make each other miserable
01:10:14You can promise
01:10:16I promise
01:10:21You
01:10:23Well, we have determined that the turkey will be just fine for the leftovers we're all very relieved i'm sure
01:10:35Are you two fighting
01:10:37No, george. Everything's fine
01:10:39Sorry, I don't mean to pry. Well, I do
01:10:41jane
01:10:42What's all this about? You're not remembering your own children
01:10:45Jane
01:10:49What are you talking about they said you didn't know who they were
01:10:53jane
01:10:54Darling, are you suffering memory loss?
01:10:57Are you having some strange?
01:10:59episode
01:11:02Look mother I
01:11:04I just really haven't been myself the last couple of days. Apparently not
01:11:08Your father's right
01:11:10You're acting like the old jane
01:11:13And just what is that supposed to mean emotional erotic
01:11:17Oh is if you are some model of emotional stability, that's exactly the kind of thing the old jane would say
01:11:22There is no new jane. Okay. I am the old jane and you know what? I like her
01:11:26She had a a life. She was successful. She had a great job, which you foolishly quit frederica
01:11:32You're not helping you hated that job george, please. It doesn't matter
01:11:36At least I knew who I was
01:11:38Now I wake up to find i'm some weird combination of of betty crocker and mother teresa
01:11:45This is not me if this is about resuming your career. I say it's high time
01:11:52It's a shame to see you keep wasting your talents frederica
01:11:56I've never understood why you and sam felt personally responsible for saving the world. Somebody has to well
01:12:03That's all well and fine
01:12:04But does it mean that you and the children have to live like paupers frederica? I have no problem with saving the whales
01:12:13But to throw away everything you had for these fuzzy little ideals frederica. Will you shut up?
01:12:22Excuse me. What did you say to me? I said to shut up
01:12:27Shut up
01:12:29Well, I never no you probably haven't
01:12:34If you'd listen to your daughter, you'd know that this has nothing to do with her job or or her career
01:12:39You know when she was young and successful you used to badger her to find the right man and settle down
01:12:45I don't know if i'm the right man
01:12:47But when we married and started a family
01:12:51a great family
01:12:53You told her she was wasting her life
01:12:55Don't you see she can't win with you that's not true
01:12:58Jane has had some problems and she needs to work through them
01:13:01But what she doesn't need is you passing judgment either old jane or new jane to me
01:13:06They're the same person and I love them both
01:13:11So with all due respect my darling mother-in-law
01:13:14I suggest we just drop the whole thing and finish our dinner or
01:13:19I could just leave
01:13:21Right now
01:13:23That would be fine, too
01:13:25I have never been treated so rudely in my entire life
01:13:31There's a first time for everything
01:13:36Come on george we're leaving
01:13:47Bye grandma
01:13:50Bye
01:13:52Nice christmas, but i'm still eating get a doggie bag
01:14:00I guess we'll be going merry christmas everybody. Bye kids. Bye grandpa
01:14:19One thing you can say about our family our christmases are never dull daddy don't have to leave neither does mother
01:14:25Well, I think it's time we get going call it a hunch
01:14:29I hope she isn't too angry
01:14:31Don't worry. She'll be fine
01:14:33This kind of thing keeps her blood pumping. It's good for her
01:14:37Well, merry christmas, sweetie
01:14:50Uh
01:14:54Your kids finish eating i'll be right back
01:15:00Want to make a wish sure
01:15:19Oh
01:15:21Temperature's dropping feels like it might snow again
01:15:31You told my mother to shut up
01:15:34Yeah, I guess I did probably not my finest moment
01:15:39No, I thought it was great
01:15:41I've been wanting to do that my whole life
01:15:49No one has ever stood up for me before like that
01:15:53Well, I was happy to oblige it's the least I could do
01:15:58Did you mean what you said in there telling your mom to shut up, of course I did
01:16:05About
01:16:07Loving the new jane as well as the old jane
01:16:10And
01:16:13My heart even the jane that can't remember our life together
01:16:19All of the above
01:16:41Yeah
01:16:43Oh, I just feel kind of dizzy
01:16:46I have that effect on me. No, i'm not kidding. There's something there's something wrong. It's really wrong. Are you okay?
01:16:52No, i'm, just kind of
01:17:00Hate christmas our future is great everything coming up roses
01:17:06Was it love at first sight you said that you always loved me
01:17:10I know my own mother
01:17:13I just want to make sure you're all right. I was worried
01:17:18Make more or desire less
01:17:23Old jane new jane to me. They're the same person and I love them both
01:17:30So you think i've done okay in this new life honey you've won the lottery
01:17:40So
01:18:10Oh
01:18:30Are you okay?
01:18:40It's you
01:18:43Yes, it is
01:18:53I knew it would be you
01:18:57I'm, sorry, have we met?
01:19:00Yeah
01:19:03No, um
01:19:06It's a long story
01:19:09But
01:19:13I have always loved you
01:19:16And i'm growing very fond of you no, no, it's it's true always
01:19:25I have always loved you and I always will
01:19:28Oh, that's great. And I am a big fan of eternal love. Don't you think we should start by introducing ourselves?
01:19:35I know you sam
01:19:39Okay, how'd you know my name?
01:19:41I know everything about you
01:19:44I know that you're good and kind
01:19:47I know that you have a green tooth
01:19:49Okay, I do have a green tooth
01:20:08Assalamu alaikum