Best Cartoon - calvin ep 5 #classiccartoons #kids
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00:00...
00:18Holy cow, Colonel. We forgot the tow rope.
00:20C'est parti, on y va!
00:50C'est parti, on y va!
01:20C'est parti, on y va!
01:50C'est parti, on y va!
02:20With all the sweets of one kind or another they go through.
02:22Another thing, children brush more often every day, as dentists recommend.
02:27Because stripe looks good, and tastes good too.
02:30So mother, remember.
02:32Tooth decay is caused by germs.
02:35Yet, red and white germ-killing stripe.
02:39C'est parti, on y va!
03:09Madame, here's a little something for your trouble.
03:12A dollar.
03:13Thank you.
03:23Madame, who's at the door?
03:25It's a telegram.
03:27Ah, for Sister Sue.
03:30Who's it from, Sister Sue?
03:32Why, it's from Nephew Newt.
03:34He says he has wonderful accommodations in California.
03:38San Quentin or Alcatraz?
03:41Don't you go disparaging my family, Montgomery.
03:44What does dear Newton have to say, Sister dear?
03:48Montgomery, Newton wants you to ship his car to him in California.
03:53What car?
03:55You know very well what car.
03:57The car you agreed six months ago to store for him in the shed behind your real estate office.
04:03The one you said you'd jack up and never use.
04:07Oh, yes, that car.
04:09That's the one he wants me to send him.
04:12You march right down to the freight office and make arrangements to ship it to California.
04:18Do you hear me, Montgomery?
04:21Wait a minute, Montgomery.
04:23Has anything happened to that car?
04:27Now, what in the world would make you even suspicious that something's happened to that car?
04:32Because you are a low-down, sneaky, double-crossing chiseler.
04:40Well, as long as you're not basing your statement on idle rumor, I won't take that as an insult.
04:47You know, Calvin, it doesn't seem possible that in six months, I could have put 20,000 miles on this car.
04:53No one will know the difference when I get this speedometer set back.
05:06I'm going to tell you something.
05:10How's that, Colonel?
05:12Uh, move it up a little bit.
05:17That's it, that's it.
05:19Now we can take the car to the garage and get that free 1,000-mile checkup.
05:23Come on out, Calvin.
05:26You know, Colonel, I think you ought to get those tires retreaded.
05:30They're completely bald.
05:32And this one's got a bump on it.
05:35They're not too bad.
05:37Let me pop that bulge back in there.
05:47I think we'd better take this down and get some retreads on the retreads before we ship it to Newton in California.
05:53I wouldn't want him to get suspicious that we've been driving it.
05:57He's been suffering a little more than usual today.
06:00He's not making contact.
06:13Where is this retreading shop, Colonel?
06:16Over in the next block.
06:18I don't know where it is.
06:20I don't know where it is.
06:23Where is this retreading shop, Colonel?
06:26Over in the next block.
06:28I'll turn left at the corner here.
06:30No, no, Calvin.
06:31Don't you remember, since we threw the front end out of a line which you can't make a left turn.
06:36We can only turn right.
06:38Oh, yeah, that's right.
06:40We'll have to take the long way around.
06:48Nice going, Calvin.
06:50I say, Carol, I hate to mention it, but there's a lot of traffic up ahead at that red stoplight.
06:58These brakes aren't holding like they used to.
07:00They must be taking hold. I can smell them burning.
07:14If that cement truck hadn't been here, we might have gone right through the red light and got a ticket.
07:21Never mind that, you dummy.
07:23Let's get out of here before we get hardened of the arteries from the outside.
07:39And then I said to the truck driver,
07:41Just watch it, buster.
07:43You happen to be talking to Calvin Burnside of the fighting Burnside.
07:47Oh, my Calvin.
07:49Is that what he hit you in the eye?
07:51No, he didn't do that until I called him a stupid, ignorant meathead.
07:57Why, that's just terrible.
08:00Oh, I didn't let him get away with it.
08:02I called a policeman and had him order the man to get his fist out of my eyeball.
08:07Oh, you're so brave.
08:09Give me your other hand, Calvin.
08:14What's the colonel going to do?
08:16Well, nephew Newton had the car insured.
08:19The colonel and I are going down to the insurance company this afternoon,
08:23collect the money, buy another car and ship it out to Newton.
08:26You certainly are smart, Calvin.
08:29Oh, yeah.
08:31Why, my IQ must be way up in the 60s or 70s.
08:36You know something, Gloria?
08:38Holding hands with you is really dynamite.
08:41Oh, Calvin.
08:43Yeah, all of a sudden, I'm getting hot flashes in my head.
08:46Calvin, if you're a cigar!
08:48Ow!
08:50I should have known, because I never had love singe my sideburns before.
09:04How come you're all broken up, colonel?
09:07I looked up nephew Newton's insurance policy on his automobile.
09:11He kept the fire and theft, but he cancelled the collision.
09:15Hmm.
09:17It's too bad we didn't hit a gasoline truck instead.
09:20Then the survivors could have collected on the fire insurance.
09:24What are we going to do, colonel?
09:26Well, I'll just have to go home and tell Maggie Bell and her sister the truth.
09:30After all, accidents can happen, and...
09:34Montgomery J. Claxton, real estate speaking.
09:38Montgomery J. Claxton, real estate speaking.
09:40Montgomery, have you shipped nephew Newton's car off to California yet?
09:45Well, I want to tell you something about that car, Maggie Bell, honey.
09:49There's nothing I want to hear from you except that it's on our buck's car headed west.
09:55Well, I... I...
09:57You what?
09:58I...
09:59You what?
10:01I was just going to say that your nephew's car is on the freight train now,
10:06singing California, here I come.
10:08Well, it better be. That's all I have to say.
10:14Look at that.
10:16It happens every time she talks to me.
10:19That thing will beat like that till sundown.
10:22What are you going to do, colonel?
10:24I don't know, Calvin, but I've got to do something.
10:27If I'd have sat there in that car and let that cement harden on me,
10:30I wouldn't be in a tighter spot than I am now.
10:38Judge, that's the whole story.
10:40Newton's car is wrecked, there's no insurance,
10:43and I'm supposed to ship it to him in California.
10:46What do you think of this?
10:48Well, colonel, it sounds to me like you've committed another case of self-inflicted barbecue.
10:55Self-inflicted barbecue?
10:57You've cooked your own goose.
11:01I know that, Judge, but is there any way I can extricate myself from this mess?
11:06Suppose you were to take out a collision policy now
11:10and rearrange the date of the accident.
11:13I think I see what you mean.
11:16Take out a policy and then report the accident like it just happened.
11:20Yeah, I got it, but Judge, are you sure this isn't a shade on the dishonor side?
11:26Oh, no. You'll be doing just what they do with a delayed fight broadcast on television.
11:32You're simply bringing them the accident at a more convenient time.
11:38That's a brilliant idea, Judge, and I thank you from the bottom of my loyal southern heart.
11:44Before you go, colonel,
11:47would you mind telling me that story in reverse
11:50and threading me back to sea level?
12:04Well, Calvin, this is the insurance company.
12:07Now let's go in and take out the policy on Newton's car.
12:10I'm right behind you, colonel.
12:17Aha! What did you do?
12:24Did you see the fellow that hit me?
12:26Stop it, you big dummy!
12:28We've got important business with this company and we've got to keep our minds on our toes.
12:32How do you do? May I help you?
12:36I'd like to get a collision policy on a 1956 coupe.
12:40Yeah, a grey one.
12:42Well, we have several excellent policies.
12:45Here's one that covers collision, upset, contact with a moving vehicle or stationary object.
12:51And this, damage resulting from...
12:54Well, it covers if we should hit a cement truck waiting for a red light.
12:58Of course. And it also covers all risks involving...
13:03But don't you want to read it?
13:05No, thanks. As long as it has the cement truck clause in there,
13:08just give me a pen and I'll put the fair and honourable name of Claxton on the document.
13:12Very well. Here you are.
13:15If you'll put down your address, we'll send you the policy and bill you for the premium.
13:20Here you are, sir. Pleasure to do business with you, sir.
13:24Well, I don't believe you can do business with me.
13:28Pleasure to do business with you, sir.
13:30Well, I don't believe we've ever sold a policy this quickly before.
13:35We southerners talk slow and act fast.
13:38Tell me something, sir. When does this policy go into effect?
13:43Why, it's in effect now.
13:45Now? By now, you mean now, now, don't you?
13:50You don't mean mountain time now or Pacific time now or anything like that.
13:55You mean right now, this very moment now, on the nose now.
14:00Yes, yes, I do. What's this all about?
14:04Oh, nothing, sir, nothing. We just want to get all the facts in case we have to sue later.
14:09Well, thank you, mister. We'll be seeing you again sometime.
14:13Good day, sir.
14:15Now what do we do, Colonel?
14:18We'll just dilly-dally for a few seconds. We don't want to be too obvious.
14:26Yes, can I help you?
14:29I'd like to report an accident.
14:33Just a minute. You're the two men who were just in here and took out this policy.
14:38That's right, sir. While we were in here signing up for it,
14:41the car was completely demolished out front.
14:44Yes, sir, that's right. According to the eyewitnesses,
14:48it must have happened while the ink was drying on the signature.
14:51You say this accident happened in front of the building just now?
14:55Sure, you can go look for yourself.
14:57It's the car with the backseat full of cement.
15:00Well, this is most unusual. If you'll just sit down there for a moment,
15:05I think I'll have one of our attorneys speak to you.
15:08Thank you, sir. You see, Calvin, we're getting action here.
15:13He's getting a lawyer to speed up paying us our claim.
15:16Yes, I'm sure.
15:18This is the kind of company to do business with, all right.
15:21You know, that's a mighty fine policy we bought.
15:24Yes, sir. Look at all that official curlicues and that big seal.
15:30Makes you have a lot of confidence in the company.
15:32And look at all the big print in there. What does it say?
15:37Well, it says here, the company assumes all liability.
15:41Claims paid in cash or certified checks.
15:44You know, this is really a free and easy company, isn't it?
15:47I'll say. What does all that small print say?
15:52I always carry this jeweler's glass for scrutinizing insurance policies
15:56and installment contracts.
15:58Now, let's see.
16:01Here with penalties for defrauding.
16:04$5,000 fine.
16:07Six years in the penitentiary.
16:10Hey, this is great.
16:12If this company tries to defraud us, we can throw them in jail for six years.
16:17We can throw them?
16:20Well, let's see.
16:22In case of misrepresentation or fraud,
16:25the insurer can take criminal action against the insuree.
16:34What's the matter?
16:36We are the insuree.
16:39What about it?
16:41Well, if we are the insuree, we are going to end up sitting in the jailee.
16:54Welcome to the phone booth, Calvin.
16:57Can I talk to you for a minute?
16:59Welcome to the phone booth, Calvin.
17:02That's funny. They were here a minute ago.
17:05Perhaps they stepped out into the hall.
17:10I guess that's their car in front.
17:13But I don't see them.
17:16Well, this company's got officers all over the city.
17:19You dummy, we panicked ourselves right back to the same door.
17:26Howdy-do.
17:35Well, this company's got officers all over the city.
17:38You dummy, we panicked ourselves right back to the same door.
17:41Howdy-do.
17:45Howdy-do.
18:15de la crème de poudre, une crème de poudre riche et luxueuse.
18:19La vache avec Dove laisse votre peau lisse, fraiche, lisse.
18:27Rappelez-vous, chaque fois que vous lavez avec de la soie, vous pouvez laver et irriter votre peau.
18:33Mais Dove lave votre peau pendant que vous lavez.
18:37Dove est la crème de poudre d'une poitrine.
18:40Dove, Wonderful Creamy Dove
19:10Allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
19:40What's that puffed up old foof done with my nephew's car?
19:44Don't you think it's safe to trust him, Sister Sue?
19:48The only time I'll trust that man is when he has gone down the lonesome road in that velvet lined phone booth.
20:04What plan have you got to get out of this mess you're in?
20:07Calvin, we're going to buy a second hand car, the exact model and color that Newton has.
20:12Oh, I see. Then you ship it off to him and Maggie Bell and Sister Sue won't ever be the wife.
20:20That's my plan.
20:21Look at all these cars.
20:23Yeah, here's the same make and model and paint job as Newton's. Look at that.
20:29I don't see a price on it, but it says no offer refused.
20:35Well, let's find Generous Jerry and talk to him.
20:44Nobody here, Calvin.
20:46Oh, excuse me. We didn't see you crouch behind the door there.
20:51Can I help you, friends?
20:53Are you the trading fool?
20:55Yes, sir. That's me, Generous Jerry. Generous to a fault.
21:03Well, sir, we like that gray coupe out there with the blue upholstery.
21:07Yeah, the one that says no offer refused.
21:10How much is that car?
21:12We don't set prices around here. You're dealing with a trading fool. The customer makes his own deal.
21:19Well, what would you say to $500?
21:22$500? I paid $800 worth.
21:26Oh, I have no willpower. All right, you got yourself a deal.
21:32How about the monthly payments?
21:34Anything you say, friend. You're the boss. I'm just here to make you happy.
21:41Well, I could afford $25 a month.
21:45Fine with me. Now, how long do you want paid off?
21:48Colonel, I think you ought to take at least 24 months.
21:51Don't be silly, friend. Why rush yourself? Instead of 24 months, why don't you spread it out?
21:58Spread it out?
21:59Sure. Make it easy on yourself. Pay me $25 a month for 36 months.
22:04Now, how's that, friend?
22:06That sounds wonderful, colonel.
22:08Now, sir, I suppose you want to know something about my credit rating.
22:13Not at all. Your face is your credit.
22:17Now, here are the keys. Just drive it home, friend.
22:20Well, sir, thank you very much.
22:23It's a pleasure to do business with a nice...
22:27Excuse me, Mr. Generous Jerry, but would you mind unlocking the door here?
22:32Oh, I'd be happy to, but before I unlock it, I wonder if I could have your name.
22:37Just a formality, you know.
22:39Yes, sir. Glad to give you my name. It's...
22:43Fine. Just sign it on the bottom of this little three-page contract here.
22:48Right here.
22:49That's it, friend.
22:51There you are, Mr. Trading Fool.
22:53And now, sir, if you would be so kind as to unlock the door, we shall be on our way.
22:58At first, there's just one or two other little formalities to take care of.
23:03There are.
23:05While we're in the signing mood, would you mind putting your name on a few of these papers here?
23:11I suppose I could.
23:13That's fine. Now, a chattel mortgage on your furniture.
23:18A lien on your life insurance.
23:21An attachment on your bank account.
23:24A garnishee on all future salaries.
23:27And in case of legal action, this waiver of all rights as an American citizen.
23:34Is that all?
23:37That's it, friends. Drop by and see us any time.
23:41Preferably not later than the sixth of the month.
23:46Oh, you doll! You've done it again!
24:07Now to get rid of the evidence.
24:16Holy cow, Colonel, we forgot the tow rope!
24:35Do something! It's gaining on us!
24:46Boy, that was close!
24:50Now we'll take the new car down to the freight office and ship it off to California.
24:56Nobody will know the difference!
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25:06New Pink Lotion Luxe Liquid.
25:09You just snip the cap of this new plastic bottle.
25:12And how's this for convenience?
25:14One good healthy squeeze fills your dishpan with powerful suds.
25:18Yes, there's pink mildness through it. More power to it.
25:22Watch. These two dishes are smeared with liquid cooking fats.
25:26Then, put in tanks of dishwater.
25:28One containing a well-known clear liquid.
25:31The other, Pink Lotion Luxe Liquid.
25:34See the rich, luxe liquid suds cut through the greasy film right away.
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25:45And Pink Lotion Luxe Liquid has world-famous luxe mildness.
25:49It leaves your hands lotion-lovely.
25:52Get Pink Lotion Luxe Liquid in the new plastic squeeze bottle.
25:57There's pink mildness through it. More power to it.
26:10Youhou, Montgomery.
26:12The little robins are singing you awake.
26:15That's right, sweet lamb.
26:17It's eleven-thirty.
26:20Oh boy, I really had a nightmare.
26:24I dreamed you two were talking nice to me.
26:27We were, Montgomery, honey.
26:30Why, sure.
26:32We checked up on you, Montgomery.
26:34We called the freight office.
26:36And they said you really had shipped Newton's car.
26:39It was perfect how you handled everything.
26:42And to think we were suspicious of you.
26:45We just hate ourselves.
26:48We're trying to make up for it by bringing you your favorite breakfast.
26:53Ham hocks smothered in bacon dripping.
26:57Can you find it in your heart to forgive us?
27:01Can you find it in your heart to forgive us?
27:04Well, being a sweet, generous southern gentleman, I think I could.
27:09If you bring me a nice stack of Tennessee buckwheat cakes with some honey molasses...
27:14We'll fix them straight away.
27:19I know I didn't earn all this love and affection, but...
27:23I'm a married man, so I'm going to take what little I can get.
27:31Calvin and the Colonel was brought to you by...
27:34Pink Lotion Luxe Liquid.
27:37The liquid for luxe lovely hands and sparkling dishes.
28:00THE END
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