The Queens Nose - Season 6 - Season Six - Episode 6
Children's drama series about a magical coin which makes dreams come true. Melody is in a permanent bad mood after the pop show debacle.
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TVTranscript
00:00That was the worst day in the history of the world, ever.
00:19The worst.
00:20Ever.
00:21No, I was talking about me.
00:23My day.
00:24The worst.
00:25Ever.
00:27All right, then.
00:28Everyone, one pound for the worst day in the history of the world, ever.
00:32Winner takes all.
00:33You first.
00:34You sure?
00:35Winner takes all?
00:36You first.
00:37OK.
00:38Think back to this morning, 11 o'clock, the argument.
00:39But you said.
00:40I did not say.
00:41There was no point at which I said.
00:42There was.
00:43There was a moment.
00:44I distinctly remember.
00:45We all remember, don't we?
00:46Yeah.
00:47See?
00:48I have my career to think about.
00:49I have my career to think about.
00:50I have my career to think about.
00:51I have my career to think about.
00:52I have my career to think about.
00:53I have my career to think about.
00:54I have my career to think about.
00:55I have my performance to think about.
00:56When I appear on top of the pops today, all eyes will be upon me.
00:57I will explode onto the pop world like a supernova.
00:58They will love me.
00:59Want me.
01:00I will be brilliant.
01:01I will be a superstar.
01:02And you will be at home.
01:03Understood?
01:04We've got better things to do anyway.
01:05Yeah.
01:06Much better things.
01:07Much better things.
01:08Much better things.
01:09Much better things.
01:10Much better things.
01:11Much better things.
01:12Much better things.
01:13Much better things.
01:14Much better things.
01:15Much better things.
01:16Much better things.
01:17Much better things.
01:18Much better things.
01:19Much better things.
01:20Much better things.
01:21Much better things.
01:22Much better things.
01:23Pirate!
01:24Did you find out where they took the money?
01:25Brilliant.
01:26Is it in...
01:27Lambeth?
01:28Westminster?
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06:42Give me the phone!
06:46Give me...
07:08My beautiful home!
07:10The worst day in the history of the world, ever.
07:14Gosh, I have no idea. What a terrible...
07:16Hold on, hold on. What about me? We haven't finished yet.
07:19Are you sure you don't want to concede now?
07:21Not by a long chuck.
07:23Looks like Jack spoke to all of us. I just didn't realise he was so serious.
07:27I think maybe I was a bit harsh with him.
07:30You were mad and you were thick and you were completely insane.
07:32If you think we're gonna help you get the money back...
07:33Mad, yeah, insane, yeah, they both mean the same thing.
07:36Yeah, well, you're both. I'm crazy too.
07:38All right, OK, I get it. Look, if nobody's gonna help me, I'll just have to do it by myself.
07:42Oh, yeah, and like you ever would.
07:44I would.
07:45Go on, then.
07:46I will. I will.
07:48I mean, I don't think he really did. Did he?
07:51Anyway, I had other things on my mind too.
07:56Oh, dog walking. Can I do the dogs? I love dogs and they love me.
08:01Just make sure they're happy and don't let me into any mischief.
08:05Come on, doggies.
08:07Walkies. Walkies.
08:10All right, if you want to play rough, I can play rough.
08:15That's when I realised they were demons from the deepest pits of hell.
08:19That was my babysitting kids.
08:21You think?
08:26Why? Why did you have to go in there?
08:30Why?
08:31Why?
08:34Just give me five minutes rest, OK? Then we go home.
08:37Please?
08:38Please?
08:39Five minutes!
08:44Stop!
08:45It's so funny!
08:47Ah!
08:56Oh!
08:59You got us.
09:00The worst.
09:01In the world.
09:02Ever.
09:07That was the worst day in the history of the world.
09:11Ever.
09:12Hang on, I think we might have a new contender.
09:17I don't know when it all went wrong.
09:19All I can tell you is that from the moment I got back home,
09:22the clock was ticking down to the end of my life as I know it.
09:30How do I look?
09:33What do you think? It's like a cross between walking and running.
09:38It's a revolution, I!
09:40No!
09:42I'm talking about me now, not you and your stupid inventions.
09:49Don't pass out on me when I'm talking to you, Gregory.
09:53Look at me.
09:56This is my big day.
09:59I don't imagine you've even thought about ordering a taxi to take me to the BBC.
10:04Yes, dear. Of course I have, dear.
10:07It's probably waiting outside now.
10:18I assume that this is a joke, Gregory,
10:21because there is no way I will be arriving at the top of the pop studio
10:26in that clapped-out old banger from Dove Drives.
10:29Full stop!
10:30But I was trying to be helpful, my angel.
10:35Dove Drives are very reliable.
10:37Reliable?
10:39Gregory, when you are the top, poppermost pop idol,
10:44you do not turn up at the top of the pop studios in a car that looks like that.
10:49If you were really being thoughtful, you would have called posh limo cabs,
10:53which mistake you will be rectifying right about now.
10:58Posh limo?
11:00It's under P in the book.
11:02Get a chauffeur with a hat, OK?
11:07I didn't mean to be so hard on Gregors,
11:10but this was my big moment, my big break.
11:13I wanted everything to be perfect, but unfortunately it wasn't to be.
11:20Where is it?
11:22They said they'd be here.
11:24They have to be here!
11:33Where is it?
11:35They said they'd be here.
11:37It's not here!
11:41At last, some good luck!
11:47You're going the wrong way!
11:49We're going the right way, love.
11:51You're sure it's going the wrong way?
11:53You're going the wrong way!
11:55We're going the right way, love.
11:57You're sure it's going the wrong way?
12:03Help me! Please!
12:05I've got to pop music!
12:07Please help me!
12:10Jackson!
12:15The BBC! Step on it!
12:20Top of the pop!
12:23Here! Now!
12:25Top! Top!
12:27You're too late, love. Filming's finished.
12:31My life is finished!
12:36My life is finished.
12:38I think she deserves it, yeah.
12:40Definitely. The three pounds is hers.
12:43What about me?
12:45What happened to you?
12:47My invention. It blew up.
12:49Inventions always blow up.
12:51I win.
12:53But what about Jack?
12:59I know we were a bit hard on him.
13:01But you don't think he would really...
13:03What?
13:05Go after the money on his own?
13:07No, of course not.
13:09He'll probably be home any minute.
13:11Yeah! Any minute!
13:19Come on.
13:50Well, well, well.
13:52What have we here?
13:54It looks like we may have stumbled across a way
13:56of making a big pile of money in there
13:59grow into an even bigger pile of money.
14:07Hello?
14:09Yeah.
14:11No.
14:14No.
14:20Yeah.
14:23Okay.
14:25Yeah.
14:30Was that Jack?
14:32He's okay, yeah?
14:34He got caught by the crooks.
14:36They want all Melody's money from her record
14:38before they let him go.
14:39Well, let's call the police!
14:41Not to.
14:42If we want to see Jack back in one piece, that is.
14:45Are you going to tell her, or shall I?
14:47I think it's time to use our secret weapon.
14:50That's a good idea.
14:52But...
14:53But what? We need to save Jack, don't we?
14:55Yeah, of course we do, but I'm worried.
14:57I mean, the Queenstowners were sent to me
14:59to make sure Melody and Gregory stay together
15:01and look at them.
15:04SHE SOBS
15:09Well, why don't we make a sort of...
15:12global wish?
15:14What do you mean?
15:15I know what she means.
15:16We use one for Melody and Gregory,
15:17but at the same time it helps Jack as well.
15:19Yeah, maybe us too.
15:21I've got it.
15:22We've all had a bad day today, right?
15:24And we've all made mistakes.
15:25If we had a chance to correct those mistakes,
15:27then everything would be all right, yeah?
15:29I certainly wouldn't let those dogs get another one over on me.
15:32I could get another crack at those kids.
15:34Let's do it, then.
15:37OK.
15:38We wish...
15:40We wish that if we had our time again,
15:42we could remember our mistakes and learn by them.
15:46Sam, Sam, come and look at this.
15:47The helper hand gang website.
15:49Drop a sale for them.
15:50Oh, excellent.
15:51We do have something better to do
15:52than go to stupid Tumfor Pops and stupid Melody.
15:54What have we got?
15:55Dog walking, babysitting
15:57and helping out at the cafe on the corner.
15:59Gasp it up.
16:00Oh, dog walking.
16:01Can I do the dogs?
16:02I love dogs.
16:03And I think they love me.
16:05Well, I'll do the kids, then,
16:07cos I'm really good with kids.
16:08And they always do exactly what I say.
16:12You're leaving me with the cafe?
16:14All right, then.
16:15Well, actually, no, I don't mind.
16:16I mean, you can do the babysitting if you want.
16:18Or the dogs.
16:19I've got this weird feeling.
16:21So have I.
16:22Like we've been here before.
16:24Well, I'll see you lot later, then.
16:26Yeah, whatever.
16:31I assume that this is a joke, Gregory,
16:34because there is no way I will be arriving
16:37at the Tumfor Pops studios
16:39in that cracked-out old banger from Duff Drives.
16:42Full stop.
16:44But I was trying to be helpful, my angel.
16:46Duff Drives are very reliable.
16:48Reliable?
16:50Gregory, what's more important,
16:53reliable or reliable?
16:56Gregory, what's more important,
16:59reliability or style?
17:03Well, reliability, I suppose.
17:09Yes.
17:10I wouldn't want to be late.
17:13Maybe I could just get him to drop me off around the corner.
17:16That's the ticket.
17:20You are a thoughtful pet, aren't you?
17:22Are you OK?
17:23Yes.
17:24Slucky I thought to put this crash helmet on.
17:26I could have caused myself a nasty injury.
17:30Oh, did I mention we've got a co-sign of builders
17:32coming in from a construction site of junction 3 of the M40
17:35at half-past twelve?
17:36And they do like their sandwiches.
17:44Right.
17:49Right.
17:50Right.
17:53Right.
17:54Twelve more fish paste,
17:55half a dozen tuna niçoise and a fried egg back.
17:58Fish paste on the side, tuna on the way
18:00and fried eggs to take home.
18:21All right, you.
18:22Hands up.
18:23You're dead.
18:26Are you feeling lucky?
18:36Homework time, I think.
18:51Couple of pops, madam?
18:52Yes.
18:53If I may say so, madam, you've got a million dollars.
18:56Oh, you may say so.
18:58You really may.
19:00Now, show them in the top spot this week
19:03with our debut single.
19:05Make some noise for Melanie Parker-Woods.
19:10Please don't ask
19:12Anything you want
19:14I can make your dreams come true
19:17Anything you want
19:19I can make your dreams come true
19:22Make a wish
19:24Anything you need
19:26I can make you feel so good
19:30Look into my eyes
19:34Trust in me
19:36Totally
19:38I can help you find
19:41What you need
19:43Set you free
19:45Let me take control
19:48Of your mind
19:50And your soul
19:52Now your hands are tied
19:56Who knows what
19:58We will find
20:00It's okay
20:01It's alright
20:03There's magic here tonight
20:07So all you gotta do is
20:10Make a wish
20:13Anything you want
20:15I can make your dreams
20:17Make a wish
20:19Anything you need
20:21I can make you feel so good
20:24Make a wish
20:27Do, do, do, do
20:29I can make your dreams come true
20:32Make a wish
20:34Do, do, do, do
20:36I can make
20:50Right.
20:51That should be pretty easy to break into.
20:56Why am I talking to myself?
20:58Nobody talks to themselves.
21:03Just do it, Jack.
21:05Get the money back.
21:07And stop talking to yourself.
21:09Okay?
21:11Okay.
21:13That was a good day.
21:15A very good day.
21:16Possibly the best day in the history of the world ever.
21:20How was it, Melody?
21:22Did it go well?
21:23Yes.
21:24Huh?
21:25Yes.
21:26Yes as in yes.
21:28Yes as in I am a star.
21:33Oh, Gregory.
21:35I love you.
21:38Really?
21:39Oh, great.
21:40Really?
21:45Where's Jack?
21:48I don't think he...
21:51He'll probably be home any minute.
21:53Yeah, any minute.
22:00Hello?
22:02Yeah.
22:04What?
22:07Yeah.
22:09Okay.
22:11Bye.
22:13Was that Jack?
22:15Uh-huh.
22:16Is he in trouble?
22:18He did it.
22:20It was incredible.
22:21It was like I knew what was going to happen.
22:23I thought to myself that even if it was a dream, I should learn by my mistakes, right?
22:26And I did, I really did.
22:28I called the transport police over, told them about the stolen money.
22:31They set up a sting operation and caught them both.
22:34Oh, and apparently there might be a reward.
22:36Not that I want any one because I just wanted to get the money back, but I mean if I...
22:39You don't want reward money?
22:41Are you mad?
22:42Well, apparently it's mine whether I want it or not.
22:44You want it. Believe me, you want it.
22:47Quiet, everybody. Quiet.
22:49I want to say a few words.
22:51Now, I know I've been a little difficult lately.
22:55A bit on edge.
22:56But from this moment on, I'm a different Melody.
23:00I've learned from my mistakes.
23:02Life begins again from today.
23:05The old Melody is gone.
23:07Say hello to the new Melody.
23:10The nice, kind, generous, thoughtful, loving Melody.
23:16Melody the successful.
23:18Melody the star.
23:20I love you all.
23:28And now, in place of our advertised programme,
23:31we will be going to Adrian's Small Jobs and gardening around Britain.
23:34What?
23:36What are you talking about?
23:38Our apologies to those waiting for Top of the Pops,
23:41but it has been cancelled due to an industrial dispute.
23:44And now, over to Adrian.
23:46No!