Sister Wives S19 Episode 3 - Am I My Brother's Keeper
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives.
00:04I love this property, it goes clear back.
00:07If Janelle were to move it would devastate me.
00:10So Tony and I are pregnant, with twins.
00:14With twins.
00:15Oh my gosh, that is so much work.
00:18Mary told me that she was going to go to meet with her church leaders
00:23and basically request a divorce, it's called a release in our church.
00:29I've been living in limbo, just not going to keep doing that.
00:33It's been done and over for years.
00:39He's not talking to me, I think I'm going to have to blow you up.
00:43I'm going to move forward and find happiness and joy outside of my club.
00:49Because it was my club and I got kicked out of it.
00:58Sister Wives
01:03Sister Wives
01:06Sister Wives
01:10Sister Wives
01:14Sister Wives
01:19Sister Wives
01:22We're going to go to a wedding and they don't want to have anything to do with the fact that we're public
01:27so we're just going to have a good time there.
01:29The bride and groom, last time I talked to the bride, they'd been told that Cody wasn't going to go.
01:35Same thing with Robin, I don't know if she's even going to go.
01:38I think the goal is to just be friendly, not friends, but friendly.
01:44I'm a little nervous, I am, I'm a little nervous, just to have us all together.
01:50I spoke with the bride and groom at one point and said, I think maybe I better not come.
02:02The reason I suggested I shouldn't go is just all the hate that I'm getting from family members.
02:10Mostly just all the s*** talk from Christine and Janelle.
02:15We're all culpable in this.
02:18I'm not a coyote passing, remeasuring things.
02:21I'm just trying to figure out what's the best configuration.
02:24I don't know the answer.
02:25I don't think Janelle and Mary are going to end up there.
02:29And to be honest with you, it's a source of a lot of heartbreak for me.
02:34The person who's getting married specifically asked Cody and I to come.
02:39It's a little tense.
02:41I am a bit concerned about Solonar getting sort of caught up in that.
02:48I don't want them to get hurt.
02:51I don't want to be there with people looking at me but not talking to me.
02:57I don't want to be there with people looking at me but not talking to me.
03:02I'm still terribly hurt by everything that has happened.
03:06And so I'm not in the place where I'm like, oh, I'm just forgiving you guys so it's all good now.
03:12I'm just not there yet.
03:14The last wedding we went to, it would have been Aspen's and Mitch's was the last wedding.
03:22What a difference, right?
03:24Aspen and Mitch got married over four years ago.
03:30Four years ago.
03:33And gosh, a lot's happened in four years.
03:37Yeah, Aspen and Mitch's wedding, we were like, we were a team still.
03:44I love you and I'm so excited to have you by my side for that smiley.
03:54Oh my gosh, the whole day was great.
03:56Cody and I were great.
03:58At that point I never thought that I'd be leaving.
04:00He's officially part of the family.
04:02I know, congratulations.
04:05It's just so painful to think of where we were at back then, at least where I thought we were at.
04:10I don't know, I don't even know anymore what's real anymore.
04:13Aspen got married a month and a half, six weeks before we moved to Flagstaff.
04:19And that was really our last hurrah.
04:22If I really am honest about how everything was at Aspen's wedding, it was wonderful.
04:27Even for Christine and I.
04:43We're not the same family that went to Aspen and Mitch's wedding, or McKelty's wedding, or Maddie's wedding.
04:49We're not the same.
04:51This is a very different family.
04:59Sadly enough, McKelty and Tony and Avalon can't come.
05:02The doctor put her on extreme bed rest because she's pregnant with twins and she's due in a couple of weeks.
05:07So the doctor's like, no, you're not going.
05:10Which is crazy because she's like such a good mediator.
05:14We're all adults and we got this.
05:18I think we'll be okay.
05:34I am nervous about the initial interaction and then after that I don't care because I can ignore everybody after that.
05:40Yeah, between me and Christine, it's just hostile.
05:47So you can hear all the hubbub.
05:50I don't know why I'm nervous. I have butterflies.
05:54Yeah, I mean, my kids are upset with their dad, but they're not going to make a scene or do something stupid.
05:58This is just going to be ignore each other and pretend like you don't exist, basically, I think.
06:03The kids don't need to be involved in the issues with their parents.
06:09Oh, I wish that things weren't like this.
06:14The last time all four of the adults were together, Isabel's graduation party.
06:20I mean, that's the last time a lot of us were together was Isabel's graduation party.
06:24That was like over a year and a half ago.
06:27This is the deal. We say a lot of things behind each other's backs.
06:31We just do. And it's pretty terrible.
06:35We just do. And it's pretty terrible to hear what everybody says about everybody behind their backs.
06:40I can't stand knowing what everybody thinks about me.
06:45I would hope that we can all behave.
06:54So I'm home from the event and it was a little bit bittersweet because
07:05we didn't really talk to each other.
07:07Cody, Robin, I nodded at Mary.
07:11Christy and I sat together with the kids.
07:14Cody and Robin sat elsewhere.
07:19You know, I waved at Mary, we talked to Mary.
07:23We didn't really talk, but I saw her.
07:25It's just so weird.
07:27Being at the wedding was a little bit awkward just because there are
07:32some people in the family that don't really want to interact with me.
07:38I'm kind of in the middle of this breakup.
07:43You know, it's just kind of weird.
07:47You know what I mean?
07:48But then at the same time, there's definitely people who
07:53are okay with me being in their presence.
07:56And those are the people that I hang out with.
07:59You know what I mean?
08:02Cody did kind of at least say hi to me a couple times in passing.
08:07And it's just so weird.
08:08I'm not quite sure.
08:11Look, I'm happy.
08:13It's obviously over.
08:16It's just so weird after 30 years or whatever.
08:20And we both have said mean things about each other.
08:24Or whatever, trying to prove, justify our case.
08:28But justify the case for why we feel the way we do.
08:34Robin and I were put over kind of in a corner, probably for our safety.
08:39You know, we were kept just in the back.
08:42And Robin's saying, this is just not right.
08:46That this family isn't together.
08:47That we're not one family.
08:49Some of the family came up and gave me a hug.
08:52And I just embraced them back.
08:54And I got an I love you from Gabe.
08:59And I told him I loved him back.
09:01I saw Janelle.
09:03And I didn't want to talk to her.
09:05It was hard.
09:07It was hard.
09:10Whether I'm right or wrong, it just still feels just deep.
09:14Deep wounds of betrayal for me.
09:17There were so many family members that it was just like,
09:20hi, I love you, and let's get away from each other.
09:26I just inserted myself as best as I could into the fun.
09:30It was awkward enough.
09:35It's just weird.
09:36It was so weird to be at this event.
09:38And to act like we didn't even know each other.
09:42Or were acquaintances.
09:44I saw Christine there as well, but I didn't talk to her.
09:46I did feel like some people were trying to look like they were having more fun than me.
09:51I mean, this is how childish this whole divorce has been.
09:56Such a teenage drama.
09:58I don't like you any more than you like me.
10:01You know, it's civil war.
10:04Total civil war.
10:08I felt like there could have been more positive interactions there that weren't there.
10:14It's over.
10:16It's bittersweet.
10:18It kind of hurts, kind of bugs me.
10:20But I wouldn't change the trajectory of where I'm going, I guess.
10:28It's just, it's going to take me a couple of days, I think, to process it.
10:34And I'm glad that these events won't be all the time.
10:38Overall, the whole wedding was just sad for me.
10:41We used to go places as a family.
10:44And now it's like those who were my partners are now almost like enemies.
10:49It's awkward.
10:53I don't know what the solution is.
10:55Separations are harder than I thought.
10:57Divorces are harder than I thought.
11:07When Christine moved my stuff out of the house and she said,
11:10I don't want you to stay here anymore, it felt like a betrayal.
11:13But I wasn't sure that she was being serious.
11:15And I'm looking back now and feeling how stupid that was of me.
11:20For Christine and I, I think that if we would have just broken up as friends,
11:24it would have been better for the whole family.
11:26Like, make it so we can get back together another time instead of polarizing everybody.
11:33I'm dealing with some of my own just situational depression.
11:42And I miss family members.
12:03Mary and I have officially broken up, I think.
12:11If I were single and Mary was single, would I date her?
12:15No, I wouldn't.
12:17She is upset that I dragged this out so long.
12:20I don't blame her.
12:24I'm looking in this triple breakup, like Christine's, then Janelle, and now Mary.
12:29I don't want Mary to be in this place where she's taken this toll,
12:33this direction that both Christine and Janelle have taken.
12:38Oh, yeah, I need one more enemy right now.
12:41And so I'm trying to be in this place with Mary where it's like,
12:44hey, can we just be friends and move on?
12:55Janelle and I don't get along.
12:58Janelle and I don't really communicate very much.
13:01To be really honest with you, I don't understand why we can't reconcile.
13:06When we moved to Flagstaff, Cody found it a lot easier to be away.
13:11A couple of times I had to remind him that he needed to come to my house.
13:14Like he, in the very beginning, he's like, well, I'm really tired.
13:17I'm like, well, you can rest at my house just as much as you can rest at Robin's house.
13:20It just started to become more separate and more reasons to just be separate.
13:27They never do?
13:29No, there's three.
13:31Oh, so that's not stairs.
13:33Oh, you guys sit down here, good.
13:35That's nuts.
13:37Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:39Here's some apples.
13:41What's so exciting here?
13:43Caramel apples.
13:45Oh, no, no, we do it upside down the other way, don't we?
13:48There are more relationships that are struggling now.
13:51I've tried several times to reach out to family members to want to talk.
13:54And, you know, to the kids and stuff like that, and they're just not ready, I guess,
13:58because I just don't hear back.
14:00If, if I, can I, can I go from the middle or can I use, oh, mom.
14:04You can go from the middle and the sides, but not from the top.
14:07All right, so you go first because you're the youngest.
14:09When I talk to Janelle about our relationship, she's like,
14:13I'm just enjoying my time away from you.
14:16Oh, mom, I didn't even leave you a chance, did I?
14:19I'm so mad at us for doing what we did to our kids.
14:21I didn't leave you a chance, did I?
14:23I'm so mad at us for doing what we did to our family.
14:25And, you know, that we, that we collectively mess with something that was working.
14:31Dad, no way.
14:33That didn't, we didn't even get anywhere with that.
14:36That game's lame.
14:38We? What do you mean we?
14:40Well, we as a family, as a group.
14:42The rest, oh, all of you got to pick one, and that was it.
14:45That was it.
14:47My day-to-day is I've got this family in my house with my wife, Robyn,
14:52and we have a day-to-day, we have an experience.
14:54Every summer we're, you know, the girls are doing music all summer long.
14:58We do stuff like this game right here, only it's usually with guitars and music.
15:03Yeah, that was, that was one and done.
15:05That's what, how that went.
15:09We have this nice family experience almost perpetually.
15:13And if you get through this one, I won't have any more carameled apples.
15:19Why?
15:21Because I don't, I'm betting, I don't think she can get through this one.
15:24Oh!
15:26Oh, whiz, he said whiz.
15:28That was stuff.
15:30Well.
15:31Be careful.
15:32Why'd you bet that?
15:33Because I didn't think she was going to last.
15:35Solomon and Ariella don't really, they're not really tracking what's happening in the family.
15:40We had to go through COVID and it sort of prepped them for this separation that's happening.
15:46No you don't!
15:48I'm really struggling with the idea of whether or not I remind them about their siblings
15:56and talk about them and show them the pictures and stuff like that,
16:00because that's going to create the question of where are my siblings?
16:05Why aren't they seeing me?
16:06Why didn't they send me a birthday card or something like that?
16:10Why aren't they here for my party?
16:12Where are they?
16:14And why aren't they here?
16:19Every once in a while they ask, is our whole family coming?
16:23And I'm just like, no, not this time.
16:26With Robin, there was always a very separateness.
16:30My children, like, we're so close.
16:32There was always a very separateness.
16:35My children, like, were scolded if they would open up Robin's fridge.
16:39When Robin came in the family, there was a lot of, like, tension and conflict, you know,
16:47just because, like, whenever somebody new comes in the family, like, it just is.
16:51It's what happens.
16:53Mary across the board was very accepting of my kids and I.
16:56But the rest of the family really struggled to accept my kids and I.
17:02All we wanted to do was be a part of this family.
17:05My kids didn't like going over there because they saw that Robin and their dad were a couple,
17:11and he wasn't in our home.
17:13So they were frustrated at different things.
17:18Christine and I were always romantic at her house, and I think we've forgotten that.
17:23My memory about Robin coming in the family doesn't come with nearly as much angst
17:29and frustration and struggles that we had 30 years ago.
17:34My marriage with Mary, Janelle coming in the family, Christine coming in the family,
17:39the experience of that coming together for years was just difficult.
17:53I remember Ari just making a little statement one time,
17:56I don't like Christine.
17:58And I kind of corrected her and said,
18:00you don't know her at this point well enough to like her or not.
18:03Well, she left dad and I don't like her.
18:06Well, that showed some loyalty.
18:08And here's the dumb thing is, I understand it.
18:11I tried to correct it.
18:13But she, that same kind of loyalty is happening amongst others in the family.
18:19Ari's the youngest.
18:21Of course she should act like a child.
18:23When I say go, I'm going to use...
18:25One experience I had was I was trying to leave the house.
18:28I was headed to Janelle's.
18:30It's getting interesting.
18:32Ari, Ella was melting down.
18:34She grabs my leg and won't let me leave.
18:36And I'm like, Robin, I need you to drag her off of me.
18:39And she says, she's expressing herself.
18:42You're going to have to take five minutes and let her do it.
18:45But I had to explain to her, there's another wife that needs me, another mommy.
18:49I got other kids that need to see me.
18:50She's just dragging along on my legs, screaming, don't leave me, daddy, don't leave me.
18:55And I'm like, golly, man, this is hard.
18:58My kids were always like, from the very beginning,
19:00they knew that their dad was not going to always be there.
19:02I always felt like that Cody and Robin mismanaged the situation with her children.
19:12He couldn't be away for more than three or four days
19:15because Ari just gets so sad or whatever.
19:16I'm like, I feel like that was poor parenting.
19:19Through all history of the family, the other kids did it.
19:24And they're fine.
19:26They're well-adjusted adults.
19:28I think they're fine.
19:30She loves her dad.
19:32She wants to be around her dad, yes.
19:34But did it ever stop Cody from going to another mom's home?
19:36No, it didn't.
19:38I wouldn't have allowed it.
19:40I'm sorry.
19:42I didn't believe in you.
19:44It wasn't you.
19:46It was the staring.
19:48I'm going through a lot of mourning, loss and grieving of the relationships,
19:53and dealing with some of my own just situational depression from it.
19:58It's just so sad.
20:00And I miss family members.
20:02What I'm thinking is, with time going on and just a phone call once in a while,
20:06that these relationships will come back,
20:09and then I'll be in full fellowship with my children again.
20:17It's not normal to see Cody smiling lately
20:19because of everything that's been going on with the family and stuff.
20:22He's really struggling.
20:28It's just completely devastating what has happened to us.
20:32Devastating.
20:33Just over the top.
20:43You are set up for an induction.
20:45I'm going to turn it to a C-section.
20:47Are you okay with that?
20:49Losing the chance to be able to hold my child,
20:53first thing, right on my chest, in my arms,
20:56is something that I'm just having a hard time with.
21:03I'm going to do this.
21:05Yeah, ready. Come in.
21:08Hi, Dr. Bain.
21:10How are you?
21:12Getting excited?
21:14Yes, getting ready.
21:16Dr. Bain was my doctor when I had Truly,
21:19and we've been friends ever since.
21:21He was the second person I told we were moving to Vegas,
21:25back when we were moving forever ago,
21:27and he was like,
21:28the second person I told we were moving to Vegas,
21:31back when we were moving forever ago.
21:33Anyway, I love the guy.
21:35I'm also getting excited.
21:37Well.
21:39Oh, God, let me move down here.
21:41You've got the easy part,
21:43where you just get to enjoy the view.
21:45Yeah, so true.
21:47All right, I think you are pregnant.
21:49Well, I was kind of hoping I'd hide it.
21:51Yeah?
21:53Yeah.
21:55You can't hide this.
21:56Yes, 52.
21:58You're measuring 52 weeks.
22:00You're only how many weeks?
22:0237.
22:0452 weeks is just the size of her.
22:06What we're really looking for,
22:08and what the real concern is,
22:10is how big are the babies getting
22:12for them to be born naturally,
22:14because she wants a natural birth.
22:16All right, we're going to take a,
22:18I'll tell you what,
22:20I'm going to look at the babies first,
22:22just to make sure of the position.
22:24Yep, there's the head.
22:26That's the round.
22:28Oh, my gosh.
22:30So they're both feet down, breech.
22:32Yep.
22:34Oh, they're feet down.
22:36That's what breech means.
22:38Unfortunately, I can't turn this baby,
22:40so we just got to see what happens, okay?
22:42Okay.
22:44So next week, you are set up for an induction.
22:46I'm going to turn it to a C-section,
22:48but if this baby's head goes down.
22:50In the next six days.
22:52In the next six days.
22:54Is there anything that she can do
22:56when you just have a singleton?
22:58There are some things that can be done,
23:00and there's some things we can do.
23:02With twins, it's just, there's just not.
23:04There's not enough room.
23:06There's not enough room.
23:08I know McKelvey's trying very hard
23:10to have these vaginally,
23:12and I'm all for that,
23:14because I've had a C-section,
23:16and the recovery is very hard from it.
23:18The vaginal birth is better.
23:20At home or without painkillers,
23:22I know it sounds hard,
23:24but the recovery is 10 times easier.
23:26With a C-section, I mean,
23:28they've basically cut open your abdomen.
23:30So they've cut all those muscles.
23:32So think about any time you turn in bed,
23:34or you try to sit up,
23:36or any kind of movement,
23:38it's really miserable.
23:40So, are you okay with that?
23:42I'll get over it.
23:44I'm sorry.
23:46Better a scar than a scarred kid.
23:48Yeah, that's a good way to phrase it.
23:50Losing the chance to be able to hold my child,
23:52first thing, right on my chest,
23:54in my arms, is something that,
23:56I don't know if it's a cultural thing,
23:58I don't know if it's a plygmus thing,
24:00I don't really know,
24:02but I was always raised that natural home births
24:04were the best way to go.
24:06I loved the recovery of the home birth.
24:08It was wonderful.
24:10Also, an epidural, though, kicks butt.
24:12So, you know, it's a tough call.
24:14McKelvey likes as natural as possible,
24:16and the girl is as tough as it gets.
24:18We can't change reality,
24:20but we can change what our expectations are.
24:22I'll take the safer option.
24:24Okay, sounds good.
24:26I'll be safe and healthy,
24:28and me be safe and healthy,
24:30versus the possibility of
24:32something wrong happening.
24:34I prefer home births
24:36to hospital births.
24:38Most births are just natural.
24:40It's a very natural experience.
24:42Birthing is very natural.
24:44So we can't be in there if it's a C-section.
24:46So we'll be, like, in the waiting room, right?
24:49Yeah.
24:51Every extra person that's in the OR,
24:53it's an infection risk.
24:54And so that's why they don't let,
24:56you know, your favorite mother.
24:59That's interesting.
25:01Awkward.
25:03But not that it wasn't awkward
25:05during your delivery
25:07when questions were being asked about...
25:09Oh, yeah, that was funny. Yeah.
25:11When I was in labor with Truly,
25:13I was sitting there in the hospital,
25:15and Cody and Dr. Bing were talking
25:17about Mary's infertility issues.
25:19So who would you recommend
25:21for a fertility doctor?
25:22I feel like I wanted to do
25:24in vitro fertilization.
25:26Why is that?
25:28Because I've got a wife who only has one.
25:30Dr. Bing knew we were
25:32a polygamous family already.
25:34We'd been up front.
25:36We'd been open with him.
25:38He knew everything.
25:40While I'm here, like, in labor,
25:42it's kind of classic, isn't it?
25:44Yeah, that's kind of weird.
25:46Talking about the other wife's fertility.
25:48Mary and Christine have always been...
25:50I was looking at you,
25:52Mary's infertility stuff.
25:54But, I mean,
25:56whenever you're going to get an opportunity
25:58to talk to somebody, you know?
26:00So it was fine. It was great.
26:02Hopefully we see you in six days.
26:04Hopefully not sooner.
26:06I know. I'm excited for you.
26:08Me too.
26:12I'm hoping that everything goes right,
26:14everything's good.
26:16I don't need to see Dr. Bing until then
26:18because that means that everything's going right
26:20if I don't have to see my doctor.
26:22I'm pregnant.
26:24Weird.
26:26Those doors are so hard to see
26:28because you know your child is on the other side.
26:30And there's nothing you can do to help them.
26:44Today is the day before the twins are going to be born.
26:47They're going to be born tomorrow.
26:49Isn't it so weird you can schedule a day for a birth?
26:52I'm excited for these little babies to come.
26:54Really excited.
26:56This is a really big deal to me
26:58and I'm excited to be there and be grandma
27:01and just support them through this.
27:05How are you feeling there?
27:07I'm good. I'm excited. I'm ready.
27:09I'm hoping Christine's cool and easy about this too.
27:12I don't want any drama.
27:14I don't want any stress.
27:16I mean, I care about Christine.
27:18I want her to be happy
27:19and I respect and honor her position as McKelty's mother.
27:26I'm ready to be done.
27:28Forever.
27:30This is the last time we're going to see you pregnant.
27:32Yes, this is the last time I will ever,
27:34hopefully, knock on wood,
27:36this is the last time I will ever be pregnant again.
27:38I love the idea of in the future maybe having more kids
27:40but they will not come out of my body.
27:42Pregnancy is miserable.
27:44It is literally awful.
27:46I've come to terms with it.
27:47I get over the fact that I can't have them vaginally
27:50but I'm not too happy about it.
27:52But you'll be able to see it too, we were saying.
27:55It's not the cloth here though, right?
27:57I'll have a curtain over in front of my face
28:03so I won't be able to see them actually do the procedure
28:06but Dr. Bean did say that he would put a mirror down there
28:10so if I wanted to, I could.
28:12Why?
28:14Sign me up for that too.
28:15So cool.
28:17I want to see it because if I can't feel it,
28:19I want to at least know what's going on.
28:21They have to cut layers by layers too
28:23because they've got to cut the muscle and the skin
28:26and then they've got to cut the uterine wall
28:28and it just sounds so cool.
28:30A little gruesome.
28:32I wonder how Avalon's going to react.
28:35She's going to have siblings.
28:37Plural.
28:39It'll be great.
28:41And no one's ever left out with three kids.
28:43No one's ever left out.
28:45They're going to have kids together.
28:47I'm really excited about tomorrow.
28:51The next time you see me, I won't be pregnant.
28:54Weird.
29:00McKelty has her C-section scheduled.
29:03I loaded up my car and I drove there
29:07and on the way, I picked up Maria,
29:10Tony's mom, in St. George.
29:13Tony and McKelty, you know, kind of at the beginning
29:17of finding out that they are pregnant,
29:19said, we want you at this birth.
29:22As far as Christine is concerned,
29:24I just made a decision very early on
29:27that I was going to put aside any of my hurt,
29:29my sadness, or my feelings of betrayal
29:31and just, that's between Christine and I.
29:38I am going to say something here
29:40because McKelty's getting really beat up for this.
29:42But, you know, McKelty has a good relationship with Robin.
29:46Robin came at a very important time for McKelty
29:49and was very valuable for McKelty as a teenage girl.
29:53And I don't think any of the kids should be denied
29:57or looked down on for having a relationship
30:00with Cody and Robin.
30:05McKelty and Robin had a really,
30:07really special experience together.
30:08And what that did is,
30:10is that special experience between McKelty and Robin
30:13actually improved the relationship
30:16that Christine and I had with McKelty.
30:19Hey there.
30:22When Robin first joined the family,
30:24I was trying to figure out who I was.
30:26And she made me feel special.
30:29And she made me feel seen.
30:34Robin was there for me when I needed somebody.
30:36She was there for me when I needed somebody
30:38to hear me, to love me.
30:40Robin gave me a chance to be heard.
30:48I don't think I remember when McKelty told me
30:50that Robin would be there.
30:52I just always knew Robin would be there.
30:54I don't know what there will be for us to do
30:57except to wait in the waiting room together.
31:01There's a lot of pain there.
31:03I can't predict what's going to happen.
31:06I can't predict somebody else's choices or actions.
31:09But for me, my plan is to play nice.
31:17I'm ready to give birth.
31:19I'm feeling good.
31:21I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night.
31:23Anticipation the next day,
31:25sleep's not going to happen.
31:28They came in.
31:30They kind of prepped McKelty, talked to her.
31:32And then they put Tony in this, like,
31:34it looked like a beekeeper suit,
31:37from, like, head to toe.
31:39Tony's nervous.
31:41He's really nervous.
31:43They put him in a suit.
31:46You know, we gave McKelty her hugs and kisses
31:49and told her we loved her.
31:52And she was willed away.
31:56It's hard.
31:58It's really hard emotionally
32:00to have your kids have any kind of procedure like that.
32:02It was really difficult.
32:07The entire pregnancy, my heart rate never spiked.
32:10I never had issues with blood pressure at all.
32:13But as soon as I was in there,
32:15getting the numbing for the epidural
32:18and then getting the epidural,
32:20my heart rate started spiking
32:22and my blood pressure started going up
32:24and I started to go into a panic.
32:33Those doors are so hard to see
32:36because you know your child is on the other side.
32:39And there's nothing you can do to help them.
32:44I am extremely upset
32:47that I can't have Tony in the operating room with me
32:52while I get the epidural.
32:54The doctors and the nurses in the room were like,
32:57something's going on.
32:59What's going on?
33:00Something's going on.
33:02What's wrong?
33:04My body was shaking just because I was just anxiety.
33:07The only solution is get me my husband.
33:14As soon as Tony entered the room though,
33:16he was finally able to come in
33:18and immediately I started to calm down.
33:20I started to feel better because I had him there.
33:22You just trust these doctors so much
33:24that everything's going to be okay.
33:26I was really glad Aspen was there
33:28and Robin was there in the room too
33:30so the three of us just sat and waited
33:32for it to be done.
33:39It's just surprising, a little scary
33:43what it takes to get those babies out of her.
33:46I was really happy I could be there during the operation
33:49because I know it means the world to her
33:51and I want to be there.
33:53Seeing everything, really cool.
33:55Being there for my wife, super, super important.
33:57Having kids come back, best part.
34:04When I have Archer in my arms,
34:06I just instantly start,
34:08calm me down and everything's fine.
34:10And then Ace comes out,
34:12they wrap him up a little bit
34:14and then they bring him over in my other arm
34:16and I'm able to hold him and at that point,
34:18I'm like, this is great, I'm happy,
34:20this is awesome, yes.
34:22You'd hear the voices of my moms
34:24and Aspen in the other room.
34:25It was just like this incredible experience.
34:28I had my boys, they were safe,
34:30they were here, they were healthy
34:32and it was just this overjoyous experience
34:37of everything's fine.
34:44Robin and Christine are together,
34:46I don't know how much they're interacting,
34:48I don't know what the experience will be like.
34:50They're not here for each other,
34:52they're not here for anybody else,
34:53they're here for me.
34:55So it's very honoring, humbling
34:57and super special
34:59because this is one of the most
35:01incredible and memorable moments of my life
35:04and to be able to share it with my moms
35:06I think is really important to me.
35:08I was handed Archer first
35:10and it was just love at first sight.
35:13The same time Christine was holding Ace
35:16and so it was kind of like we were,
35:18you know, holding...
35:24We were just holding our grandbabies together.
35:28I just wish it was under different circumstances
35:31as far as Christine and I are concerned.
35:35And it was kind of sweet because...
35:43For a moment I could just forget all that.
35:46Tony McKilty want me there
35:48and they want Christine there.
35:50And Tony's mother is really close, too.
35:54She's at home watching Avalon
35:57and she's at home with my mom,
36:00and she calls me every day
36:02and says,
36:04hey, how's it going?
36:06And I'm like,
36:08that's my mom.
36:10And I'm like,
36:12I miss her.
36:13She's at home watching Avalon.
36:15She'll be coming in later, too.
36:18What Tony and McKelty want is what's important.
36:21My mom spent last night with us in the hospital
36:23to help me with the twins through the night.
36:25So now she's going to go home and hang out and be at home.
36:29And Robin's going to spend the night with us at home
36:31to help us with the twins again through the night.
36:33Avalon's there.
36:34Tony's mom, Maria, is there.
36:36And then that's it.
36:37We're just going to keep kind of a small house
36:39as we go and introduce the boys to their sister.
36:42Hi.
36:43Nice to meet you.
36:44Mm-hmm.
36:47Hey, buddy.
36:48Avalon, do you want to meet your brothers?
36:51Do you want to meet your brothers?
36:52Yeah.
36:58Look at the baby.
36:59Wow.
37:00So soft.
37:01So soft.
37:02So soft.
37:02So soft.
37:03So soft.
37:04He went straight for his eye.
37:07She's a tough kid.
37:09She roughhouses a lot.
37:11And so these are very fragile babies.
37:13I was absolutely nervous about her hurting one of them.
37:16Come on.
37:17Look.
37:17There's a little baby.
37:18Come here.
37:19Over here.
37:20Yeah.
37:21Look.
37:21Avalon looks stressed out.
37:27Do you need his hat off?
37:27Good job.
37:28Good job.
37:29Good job.
37:31She finally realized these aren't just babies,
37:35and they're not toys.
37:37They're actual humans.
37:39And they belong to mommy and daddy.
37:42I think it just, it was honestly heartbreaking.
37:45You got him?
37:46You got him?
37:47Yeah.
37:47You sure?
37:49OK.
37:50OK.
37:51You're not ready.
37:52You're not ready.
37:54I mean, I guess having a plural family,
37:56and we, at that time, all lived together,
38:00it was very different than having
38:01two parents and one child.
38:04I had three wives before I had any children.
38:07We sort of did all pitch in with the baby.
38:14It's a big change.
38:15I don't personally recall any of my children
38:20being specifically weirded out by a new baby.
38:25Come cuddle.
38:27This is when she's understanding.
38:29OK.
38:30OK.
38:31A little bit.
38:31She just clued in.
38:33She just left.
38:34I don't know if our kids really had time to, like,
38:39grow up to be a toddler, to be like, wait a second.
38:41Who is this other child?
38:42There's just always another one coming.
38:45There was some weird stuff that happened.
38:47I mean, like, I had my first child,
38:49and there was a mother that was jealous.
38:51Come here, Logan.
38:52Come here.
38:53Mary, call him or something.
38:54It was Christine who got jealous when Logan was born.
38:57Logan was absolutely lovely.
38:59What I was going through was the first year
39:02of being in plural marriage.
39:04It was so hard.
39:05I felt like I lost my identity completely.
39:10Having all those kids that young, we were all involved.
39:13It was supposed to be this extremely
39:18benevolent experience.
39:20And now that it's all come apart for me, I'm just going,
39:23was it?
39:24Or was it just suppressed jealousy?
39:28Was it sometimes suppressed rage?
39:31I don't know.
39:32All right, Tony, let's go upstairs.
39:34Will you take him?
39:35Let's go.
39:36This is Archer.
39:44They look nothing alike at all.
39:47They're fraternal twins, which means they're not identical.
39:50They don't look alike at all, and they
39:53look nothing like Avalon.
39:56Oh, stop.
39:57Let go.
39:58God, don't do that.
39:59Robin's going to stay with us for the next couple of days,
40:02help us through the night.
40:03She's just going to be here kind of 24-7.
40:06Well.
40:08This was really nice because Robin
40:09was able to get this bonding with the grandkids.
40:11So when Robin goes back home, mom
40:14will be able to have her bonding as well with her grandkids.
40:17Then Maria being able to come up and have her bonding as well.
40:20It's just, it's really nice.
40:22Is this the same bed you gave birth to Avalon in?
40:25Yeah.
40:27Yeah, this is the bed I gave birth to Avalon in.
40:28All of Robin's kids love McKelty.
40:32She puts a lot on herself.
40:34She puts a lot of all of this on herself
40:36about bringing the family together
40:38and having it be her role.
40:40Because she gets along great with Robin,
40:43and she gets along great with me.
40:45Cody and Robin are grandparents to Avalon,
40:47and they'll be grandparents for the twins.
40:50Well, no, I technically gave birth to Avalon on the floor.
40:53Yep, that's true.
40:55It's crazy because people think when they get,
40:58when they split, when they divorce or whatever,
41:00that they won't have to see each other.
41:02That's not true.
41:06You'll always be in each other's lives somehow or another.
41:09I'm going to be the one kind of helping the most,
41:12and then I'm sure Christine will kind of step in after I leave,
41:15and I'll hand the baton off to her kind of a thing.
41:21Heather Robin there to me just showed
41:23that I don't know how long it's going
41:27to take for all of us to get back together again and be OK
41:30in each other's presence.
41:32It was awkward, and it's going to be awkward for a while.
41:36And I don't know what the future looks like.
41:40We'll do it for our kids, but it's not
41:43going to happen anything that I want to have happen soon.
41:51Next time on Sister Wives.
41:53You want some dark.
41:55This is the first Thanksgiving that Robin and I are
41:57having with just our children.
41:59I've heard Cody say how awkward it is because he can't
42:02show the affection to Robin, and I'm not going to inhibit that.
42:06Robin slept in the closet.
42:07Seriously.
42:08And she had both boys with her, and when they would wake up
42:10and be hungry, I'd feed one of the boys,
42:11and she'd go back to bed.
42:12I said, I'll take the closet.
42:14Like, you stay in the bed with her, and she wouldn't do it.
42:17I was putting pressure on Cody to work on his relationships
42:21with his kids.
42:22I'm tired of being angry.
42:23Oh, I'm having a hard time not losing respect
42:28for you a little bit.
42:29I think that Cody should be camping out on their doorsteps.
42:32Your kids need you.