Sister Wives S19 Episode 3 - Am I My Brother's Keeper
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00:00Previously on Sister Wives...
00:03I love this property.
00:05It goes clear back.
00:06If Janelle were to move, it would devastate me.
00:09Dude!
00:11So Tony and I are pregnant.
00:13With twins.
00:14With twins.
00:15Oh, my gosh.
00:16That is so much work.
00:18Mary told me that she was going to go to
00:21meet with her church leaders
00:23and basically request a divorce.
00:26It's called a release in our church.
00:29I've been living in limbo.
00:31Just not going to keep doing that.
00:33It's been done and over for years.
00:39He's not talking to me.
00:41I think I'm going to have to blow you up.
00:43I am going to move forward and find happiness and joy
00:47outside of my club.
00:49Because it was my club and I got kicked out of it.
00:58SISTER WIVES
01:23We're going to go to a wedding
01:25and they don't want to have anything to do
01:27with the fact that we're public.
01:28So we're just going to have a good time there.
01:30The bride and groom, last time I talked to the bride,
01:33they'd been told that Cody wasn't going to go.
01:35Same thing with Robin.
01:36I don't know if she's even going to go.
01:38I think the goal is to just be friendly.
01:42Not friends, but friendly.
01:45I'm a little nervous.
01:46I am.
01:47I'm a little nervous.
01:48Just to have us all together.
01:53I spoke with the bride and groom at one point
01:56and said, I think maybe I better not come.
02:04The reason I suggested I shouldn't go
02:06is just all the hate that I'm getting from family members.
02:14Mostly just all the s*** talk from Christine and Janelle.
02:19We're all culpable in this.
02:22I'm out of coyote passes and re-measuring things.
02:25I'm just trying to figure out what's the best configuration.
02:28I don't know the answer.
02:29I don't think Janelle and Mary are going to end up there.
02:33And to be honest with you,
02:35it's a source of a lot of heartbreak for me.
02:41The person who's getting married
02:43specifically asked Cody and I to come.
02:46It's a little tense.
02:48I am a bit concerned about
02:52Saul and Ara getting sort of caught up in that.
02:55I don't want them to get hurt.
02:58I don't want to be there with people looking at me
03:02but not talking to me.
03:04I'm still terribly hurt by everything that has happened.
03:08And so I'm not in the place where I'm like,
03:11oh, I'm just forgiving you guys so it's all good now.
03:14I'm just not there yet.
03:16The last wedding we went to, gosh.
03:20It would have been Aspen's and Mitch's was the last wedding.
03:24What a difference, right?
03:26Aspen and Mitch got married over four years ago.
03:32And gosh, a lot's happened in four years.
03:36Yeah, Aspen and Mitch's wedding,
03:38we were like, we were a team still.
03:43I love you and I'm so excited
03:45to have you by my side for that smiley.
03:48I'm joking.
03:53Oh my gosh, the whole day was great.
03:55Cody and I were great.
03:57At that point I never thought that I'd be leaving.
04:00He's officially part of the family.
04:02Congratulations.
04:05It's just so painful to think of where we were at back then,
04:08at least where I thought we were at.
04:10I don't know, I don't even know anymore what's real anymore.
04:13Aspen got married a month and a half,
04:16six weeks before we moved to Flagstaff.
04:18And that was really our last hurrah.
04:25If I really am honest about how everything was
04:27at Aspen's wedding, it was wonderful.
04:29Even for Christine and I.
04:32We're not the same family that went to Aspen and Mitch's wedding,
04:36or McKelvey's wedding, or Maddie's wedding.
04:38We're not the same.
04:40This is a very different family.
05:01Sadly enough, McKelvey and Tony and Avalon can't come.
05:04The doctor put her on extreme bed rest
05:06because she's pregnant with twins and she's due in a couple of weeks.
05:09So the doctor's like, no, you're not going.
05:12Which is crazy because she's like such a good mediator.
05:16We're all adults and we got this.
05:21I think we'll be okay.
05:32I am nervous about the initial interaction.
05:35And then after that, I don't care,
05:37because I can ignore everybody after that.
05:39Yeah, between me and Christine, it's just hostile.
05:46So you can hear the hubbub.
05:49I don't know why I'm nervous. I have butterflies.
05:52Yeah, I mean, my kids are upset with their dad,
05:55but they're not going to make a scene or do something stupid.
05:58This is just going to be ignore each other
06:00and pretend like you don't exist, basically, I think.
06:03The kids don't need to be involved in the issues with their parents.
06:08Oh, I wish that things weren't like this.
06:15The last time all four of the adults were together,
06:19Isabel's graduation party,
06:21I mean, that's the last time a lot of us were together,
06:24was Isabel's graduation party.
06:26That was, like, over a year and a half ago.
06:29This is the deal.
06:30We say a lot of things behind each other's backs.
06:33We just do, and it's pretty terrible
06:36to hear what everybody says about everybody behind their backs.
06:39I can't stand knowing what everybody thinks about me.
06:43I would hope that we can all behave.
06:47So I'm home from the event,
06:49and it was a little bit bittersweet because, um...
06:58we didn't really talk to each other.
07:00Cody, Robin, I nodded at Mary.
07:04Christine and I sat together with the kids.
07:07Um, Cody and Robin,
07:10I nodded at Mary.
07:12Christine and I sat together with the kids.
07:15Cody and Robin, um, sat elsewhere.
07:19Um, you know, I waved at Mary.
07:21We talked to Mary.
07:23Um, we didn't really talk, but saw her.
07:26It's just so weird.
07:28Being at the wedding was a little bit awkward
07:30just because there are some people in the family
07:34that don't really want to interact with me.
07:38Um, I'm kind of in the middle of this breakup.
07:43Um, you know, it's just kind of weird.
07:47You know what I mean?
07:48But then at the same time,
07:49there's definitely people who are okay
07:54with me being in their presence,
07:56and those are the people that I hang out with.
07:59You know what I mean?
08:01Um, Cody did kind of at least say hi to me
08:05a couple times in passing,
08:07and it's just so weird.
08:08I'm not quite sure.
08:11Look, I'm happy.
08:13It's obviously over.
08:15Um, it's just so weird after 30 years or whatever.
08:20And we both have said mean things about each other,
08:23but, um, or whatever,
08:25trying to prove, justify our case,
08:28but justify the case for why we feel the way we do.
08:34Robin and I were put over kind of in a corner,
08:37probably for our safety.
08:39You know, we were kept just in the back.
08:42And Robin's saying,
08:43this is just, this is just not right
08:45that this family isn't together,
08:47that we're not one family.
08:48Some of the family came up and gave me a hug,
08:51and I just embraced them back,
08:53and, um, I got an I love you from Gabe,
08:58and I told him I loved him back.
09:01I saw Janelle, and I didn't want to talk to her.
09:05It was hard.
09:06It was hard.
09:07I was, um, whether I'm right or wrong,
09:11it just still feels just deep,
09:13deep wounds of betrayal for me.
09:16There were so many family members
09:19that it was just like, hi, I love you,
09:23and let's get away from each other.
09:26I just inserted myself as best as I could into the fun.
09:31It was awkward enough.
09:35It's just weird.
09:36It was so weird to be at this event
09:38and to act like we didn't even know each other
09:42or were acquaintances.
09:44I saw Christine there as well,
09:46but I didn't talk to her.
09:47I did feel like some people were trying to look like
09:50they were having more fun than me.
09:52I mean, this is how childish this whole divorce has been.
09:57Such a teenage drama.
09:59I don't like you any more than you like me.
10:02You know, it's civil war,
10:05total civil war.
10:09I felt like there could have been
10:11more positive interactions there that weren't there.
10:16It's over. It's bittersweet.
10:18It kind of hurts, kind of bugs me,
10:21but I wouldn't...
10:26I wouldn't change the trajectory of where I'm going, I guess.
10:30It's just...
10:32It's going to take me a couple days, I think, to process it,
10:35and I'm glad that these events won't be all the time.
10:41Overall, the whole wedding was just sad for me.
10:45We used to go places as a family,
10:47and now it's like those who were my partners
10:51are now almost like enemies.
10:53It's awkward.
10:56I don't know what the solution is.
10:58Separations are harder than I thought.
11:00Divorces are harder than I thought.
11:07When Christine moved my stuff out of the house
11:09and she said, I don't want you to stay here anymore,
11:11it felt like a betrayal,
11:12but I wasn't sure that she was being serious.
11:15And I'm looking back now and feeling how stupid that was of me.
11:19For Christine and I,
11:20I think that if we would have just broken up as friends,
11:23it would have been better for the whole family.
11:26Like, make it so we can get back together another time
11:30instead of polarizing everybody.
11:36I'm dealing with some of my own just situational depression.
11:44And I miss family members.
11:57Mary and I have officially broken up, I think.
12:05If I were single and Mary was single,
12:08would I date her?
12:09No, I wouldn't.
12:11She is upset that I dragged this out so long.
12:14I don't blame her.
12:18I'm looking in this tripartite world
12:22I'm looking in this triple breakup,
12:24like Christine's, then Janelle, and now Mary.
12:27I don't want Mary to be in this place
12:30where she's taken this toll, this direction
12:33that both Christine and Janelle have taken.
12:36Oh, yeah, I need one more enemy right now.
12:39So I'm trying to be in this place with Mary
12:41where it's like, hey, can we just be friends and move on?
12:45Can we just be friends and move on?
12:56Janelle and I don't really communicate very much.
12:59To be really honest with you,
13:01I don't understand why we can't reconcile.
13:04When we moved to Flagstaff,
13:06Cody found it a lot easier to be away.
13:09A couple of times I had to remind him
13:11that he needed to come to my house.
13:13In the very beginning, he's like, well, I'm really tired.
13:15I'm like, well, you can rest at my house
13:17just as much as you can rest at Robin's house.
13:19It just started to become more separate
13:21and more reasons to just be separate.
13:32They never do?
13:34No, there's three.
13:36Oh, so that's not scarce.
13:38Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:41Look, what's so exciting here.
13:44Oh, no, no, we do it upside down the other way, don't we?
13:48There are more relationships that are struggling now.
13:51I've tried several times to reach out to family members
13:54to want to talk and, you know, to the kids and stuff like that,
13:58and they're just not ready, I guess,
14:00because I just don't hear back.
14:02Can I go from the middle, or can I use both?
14:05You can go from the middle and the sides,
14:07but not from the top.
14:09So you go first because you're the youngest.
14:11When I talk to Janelle about our relationship,
14:14she's like, I'm just enjoying my time away from you.
14:18Oh, Mom, I didn't even leave you a chance, did I?
14:21I'm so mad at us for doing what we did to our family
14:24and, you know, that we collectively
14:27messed with something that was working.
14:30Dad, no way.
14:32We didn't even get anywhere with that.
14:35That game's lame.
14:37What do you mean, we?
14:39Well, we as a family, as a group, the rest, oh,
14:42all of you got to pick one, and that was it.
14:46My day-to-day is I've got this family in my house
14:49with my wife, Robin, and we have a day-to-day.
14:52We have an experience.
14:54Every summer, you know, the girls are doing music all summer long.
14:57We do stuff like this game right here,
15:00only it's usually with guitars and music.
15:02Yeah, that was one and done.
15:04That's how that went.
15:07We have this nice family experience, almost perpetually.
15:12And if you get through this one,
15:15I won't have any more carameled apples.
15:18Why?
15:20Because I'm betting I don't think she can get through this one.
15:23Oh!
15:25Oh!
15:27That was stuff!
15:29Well...
15:31Why'd you bet that?
15:33Because I didn't think she was going to last.
15:35Mariela don't really,
15:37they are not really tracking what's happening in the family.
15:41We had to go through COVID,
15:43and it sort of prepped them for this separation that's happening.
15:47No, you don't!
15:49I'm really struggling with the idea of whether or not
15:53I remind them about their siblings and talk about them
15:57and show them the pictures and stuff like that,
16:00because that's going to create the question
16:03of where are my siblings?
16:05Why aren't they seeing me?
16:10Why didn't they send me a birthday card or something like that?
16:14Why aren't they here for my party?
16:16Where are they? And why aren't they here?
16:22Every once in a while they ask,
16:24is our whole family coming?
16:26And I'm just like, no, not this time.
16:29With Robin, there was always a very separateness.
16:33My children were scolded if they would open up Robin's fridge.
16:37When Robin came in the family,
16:39there was a lot of tension and conflict,
16:44just because whenever somebody new comes in the family,
16:47it just is, it's what happens.
16:50Mary across the board was very accepting of my kids and I,
16:54but the rest of the family really struggled to accept
16:58that my kids and I, all we wanted to do
17:01was be a part of this family.
17:03My kids didn't like going over there
17:05because they saw that Robin and their dad were a couple
17:09and he wasn't in our home.
17:11So they were frustrated at different things.
17:16Christine and I were always romantic at her house,
17:20and I think we've forgotten that.
17:22My memory about Robin coming in the family
17:25doesn't come with nearly as much angst and frustration
17:28and struggles that we had 30 years ago.
17:32My marriage with Mary, Janelle coming in the family,
17:35Christine coming in the family,
17:37the experience of that coming together for years
17:41was just difficult.
17:51I remember Ari just making a little statement one time,
17:54I don't like Christine.
17:56And I kind of corrected her and said,
17:58you don't know her at this point well enough to like her or not.
18:01Well, she left dad and I don't like her.
18:04Well, that showed some loyalty,
18:06and here's the dumb thing is I understand it,
18:09I tried to correct it,
18:11but that same kind of loyalty
18:14is happening amongst others in the family.
18:18Ari's the youngest, of course she should act like a child.
18:21When I say go, I'm going to use...
18:23One experience I had was I was trying to leave the house,
18:26I was headed to Janelle's.
18:28It's getting interesting.
18:30Ari, Ella was melting down,
18:32she grabs my leg and won't let me leave.
18:35And I'm like, Robin, I need you to drag her off of me.
18:37And she says, she's expressing herself,
18:40you're going to have to take five minutes and let her do it.
18:43But I had to explain to her,
18:45there's another wife that needs me, another mommy,
18:47I got other kids that need to see me.
18:49She's just dragging along on my legs,
18:51screaming, don't leave me, Daddy, don't leave me.
18:54And I'm like, golly, man, this is hard.
18:56My kids were always like, from the very beginning,
18:58they knew that their dad was not going to always be there.
19:01I always felt like...
19:05that Cody and Robin
19:08mismanaged the situation with her children.
19:11He couldn't be away for more than three or four days
19:14because Ari just gets so sad or whatever.
19:16I'm like, I feel like that was poor parenting.
19:19Through all history of the family,
19:22the other kids did it.
19:24And they're fine, they're well-adjusted adults,
19:26I think they're fine.
19:28She loves her dad, she wants to be around her dad, yes.
19:31But did it ever stop Cody from going to another mom's home?
19:34No, it didn't, I wouldn't have allowed it.
19:37So...
19:39Oh!
19:42I'm sorry, I didn't believe in you.
19:44It wasn't you, it was the stack.
19:47I'm going through a lot of mourning,
19:50loss and grieving of the relationships,
19:52and dealing with some of my own
19:55just situational depression from it.
19:58It's just so sad, and I miss family members.
20:02What I'm thinking is, with time going on
20:05and just a phone call once in a while,
20:07that these relationships will come back,
20:10and then I'll be, like, in full fellowship
20:12with my children again.
20:17It's not normal to see Cody smiling lately
20:20because of everything that's been going on with the family and stuff.
20:23He's really struggling.
20:28It's just completely devastating what has happened to us.
20:32Devastating, just over the top.
20:42You are set up for an induction.
20:45I'm going to turn it to a C-section.
20:47Are you OK with that?
20:49Losing the chance to be able to hold my child,
20:53first thing, right on my chest, in my arms,
20:56is something that I'm just having a hard time with.
21:09Ready for this?
21:11Come in.
21:14Hi, Dr. Bain. How are you?
21:16Getting ready. Getting excited?
21:18Yes, getting ready.
21:20Dr. Bain was my doctor when I had Truly,
21:23and we've been friends ever since.
21:25He was the second person I told we were moving to Vegas,
21:29back when we were moving forever ago.
21:31Anyway, I love the guy.
21:33I'm also getting excited.
21:35Oh, God, let me move down here.
21:37There you go, easy part.
21:39Where you just get to enjoy the view.
21:41All right, I think you are pregnant.
21:44Walking it away, I was kind of hoping I'd hide it.
21:47Yeah, you can't hide this.
21:50You want to know how many weeks?
21:5253, 53.
21:53Pretty close, 52.
21:54You're measuring 52 weeks, you're only how many weeks?
21:5737.
21:5852 weeks is just the size of her.
22:01What we're really looking for, and what the real concern is,
22:04is how big are the babies getting
22:06for them to be born naturally,
22:08because she wants a natural birth.
22:10All right, we're going to take a, I'll tell you what,
22:12I'm going to look at the babies first,
22:13just to make sure of the position.
22:16Yep, there's the head.
22:18Oh, we can see him.
22:20Can we see them?
22:21Yeah, that's the cranium.
22:22Yep, I'm trying to have the head sit right on.
22:24Oh, my gosh.
22:26So they're both feet down, breech.
22:28Yep.
22:29Oh, they're feet down, that's what breech means.
22:31Unfortunately, I can't turn this baby.
22:34So we just got to see what happens, okay?
22:36So next week, you are set up for an induction.
22:39I'm going to turn it to a C-section,
22:42but if this baby's head goes down...
22:46In the next six days.
22:47In the next six days.
22:48Is there anything that she can do to help the baby's head go down?
22:51So, you know, when you're, when you just have a singleton,
22:54there are some things that can be done,
22:56and there's some things we can do.
22:58With twins, it's just, there's just not.
23:00There's not enough room inside?
23:02There's not enough room.
23:03I know McKelvey's trying very hard to have these vaginally,
23:06and I'm all for that because I've had a C-section,
23:09and the recovery is very hard from it.
23:13The vaginal birth is better.
23:15At home or without painkillers, I know it sounds hard,
23:19but the recovery is 10 times easier.
23:22When you have C-sections, I mean,
23:24they basically cut open your abdomen.
23:26So they've cut all those muscles.
23:27So think about any time you turn in bed,
23:29or you try to sit up,
23:31or any kind of movement, it's really miserable.
23:35So, are you okay with that?
23:38I'll get over it.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:40Better a scar than a scarred kid.
23:41Yeah, that's a good way to raise it.
23:43Losing the chance to be able to hold my child,
23:46first thing, right on my chest, in my arms,
23:49is something that I'm just having a hard time with.
23:54I don't know if it's a cultural thing.
23:55I don't know if it's a plygmous thing.
23:57I don't really know, but I was always raised
23:59that natural home births were the best way to go.
24:01I loved the recovery of the home birth.
24:03It was wonderful.
24:04Also, an epidural, though, kicks butt.
24:07So, you know, it's a tough call.
24:09McKelty likes as natural as possible,
24:11and the girl's as tough as it gets.
24:14We can't change reality,
24:16but we can change what our expectations are.
24:18I'll take the safer option.
24:20Okay, sounds good.
24:21It is what it is.
24:22And I'd rather my kids be safe and healthy,
24:24and me be safe and healthy,
24:26versus the possibility of something wrong happening.
24:31I prefer home births to hospital births.
24:34Most births are just natural.
24:36It's a very natural experience.
24:38Birthing is very natural.
24:40So we can't be in there if it's a C-section.
24:42No.
24:43So we'll be, like, in the waiting room, right?
24:45Yeah.
24:46Every extra person that's in the OR,
24:49it's an infection risk.
24:51And so that's why they don't let,
24:54you know, your favorite mother.
24:57That's interesting.
24:58Awkward.
24:59But not that it wasn't awkward during your delivery
25:03when questions were being asked about...
25:05Oh, yeah, that was funny.
25:06Yeah.
25:07When I was in labor with Truly,
25:09I was sitting there in the hospital,
25:11and Cody and Dr. Bing were talking about
25:13Mary's infertility issues.
25:15So who would you recommend for a fertility doctor?
25:18What do you mean?
25:19If we wanted to do it in vitro fertilization.
25:22Why is that?
25:23Because I've got a wife who only has one.
25:25Dr. Bing knew we were a polygamous family already.
25:28We'd been up front.
25:29We'd been open with him.
25:30He knew everything.
25:32While I'm here, like, in labor,
25:33it's kind of classic, isn't it?
25:34Yeah, that's kind of weird.
25:36Talking about the other wife's fertility.
25:38Mary and Christina have always been...
25:40I was looking at you, I was like,
25:41she doesn't have any, bro.
25:42Mary and Christina have always had
25:43a really close relationship.
25:44He just thought it was really funny, too,
25:46that here I am in labor talking about
25:49Mary's infertility stuff.
25:51But, I mean, whenever you're going to get
25:53an opportunity to talk to somebody, you know?
25:55So it was fine.
25:57It was great.
25:58Hopefully we see you in six days.
25:59Hopefully not sooner.
26:00I know.
26:01Six days.
26:02I'm excited for you.
26:03Me too.
26:04Thanks.
26:06So I'm hoping that everything goes right,
26:09everything's good.
26:10I don't need to see Dr. Bing until then,
26:11because that means that everything's going right
26:13if I don't have to see my doctor.
26:18The next time you see me, I won't be pregnant.
26:20Weird.
26:21Those doors are so hard to see,
26:23because you know your child is on the other side.
26:26And there's nothing you can do to help them.
26:40Today is the day before the twins are going to be born.
26:43They're going to be born tomorrow.
26:44Isn't it so weird you can schedule a day for a birth?
26:48I'm excited for these little babies to come.
26:50Really excited.
26:51This is a really big deal to me,
26:53and I'm excited to be there and be grandma
26:56and just support them through this.
27:01How you feeling there?
27:02I'm good.
27:03I'm excited.
27:04I'm ready.
27:05I'm hoping Christine's cool and easy about this too.
27:07I don't want any drama.
27:09I don't want any stress.
27:10I mean, I care about Christine.
27:13I want her to be happy.
27:15And I respect and honor her position as McKelty's mother.
27:22I'm ready to be done.
27:24Forever.
27:25This is the last time we're going to see you pregnant.
27:26Yes, this is the last time I will ever, hopefully,
27:28knock on wood, this is the last time
27:30I will ever be pregnant again.
27:32I love the idea of in the future maybe having more kids,
27:35but they will not come out of my body.
27:37Pregnancy is miserable.
27:39It is literally awful.
27:40I've come to terms with it.
27:42I'm going to get over the fact that I can't have them vaginally,
27:45but I'm not too happy about it.
27:48But you'll be able to see it too, we were saying.
27:50It's not the cloth here though, right?
27:52Sorry.
27:53I'll have a curtain over in front of my face
27:58so I won't be able to see them actually do the procedure,
28:01but Dr. Bean did say that he would put a mirror down there,
28:05so if I wanted to, I could.
28:08Why?
28:09Why not?
28:10Sign me up for that too.
28:12So cool.
28:13I want to see it because if I can't feel it,
28:15I want to at least know what's going on.
28:17They have to cut layers by layers too
28:19because they've got to cut the muscle and the skin,
28:22and then they've got to cut the uterine wall,
28:24and it just sounds so cool.
28:27A little gruesome.
28:29I wonder how Avalon's going to react.
28:31She's going to have siblings, plural.
28:34It'll be great.
28:35And no one's ever left out with three kids.
28:38No one's ever left out.
28:39There's always someone.
28:40They're twins.
28:41They're going to sleep together.
28:43I'm really excited about tomorrow.
28:47The next time you see me, I won't be pregnant.
28:49Weird.
28:56McKelty has her C-section scheduled.
28:58I loaded up my car, and I drove there,
29:02and on the way, I picked up Maria,
29:06Tony's mom in St. George.
29:10Tony and McKelty, you know, kind of at the beginning
29:13of finding out that they are pregnant,
29:16said, we want you at this birth.
29:18As far as Christine is concerned,
29:21I just made a decision very early on
29:23that I was going to put aside any of my hurt,
29:26my sadness, or my feelings of betrayal,
29:28and just that's between Christine and I.
29:35I am going to say something here
29:36because McKelty's getting really beat up for this,
29:38but McKelty has a good relationship with Robin.
29:42Robin came at a very important time for McKelty
29:44and was very valuable for McKelty as a teenage girl,
29:48and I don't think any of the kids should be denied
29:52or looked down on for having a relationship
29:55with Cody and Robin.
30:01McKelty and Robin had a really, really special
30:03experience together, and what that did
30:06is that special experience between McKelty and Robin
30:09actually improved the relationship
30:12that Christine and I had with McKelty.
30:19When Robin first joined the family,
30:20I was trying to figure out who I was,
30:22and she made me feel special, and she made me feel seen.
30:31Robin was there for me when I needed somebody.
30:33She was there for me when I needed somebody
30:35to hear me, to love me.
30:37Robin gave me a chance to be heard.
30:45I don't think I remember when McKelty told me
30:47that Robin would be there.
30:48I just always knew Robin would be there.
30:50I don't know what there will be for us to do
30:54except to wait in the waiting room together.
30:59There's a lot of pain there.
31:00I can't predict somebody else's choices or actions,
31:04but for me, my plan is to play nice.
31:13I'm ready to give birth.
31:14I'm feeling good.
31:15I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night.
31:18Anticipation the next day is just,
31:20sleep's not going to happen.
31:24They came in.
31:25They kind of prepped McKelty, talked to her,
31:27and then they put Tony in this, like,
31:31it looked like a beekeeper suit,
31:34from, like, head to toe.
31:36Tony's nervous.
31:37He's really nervous.
31:38They put him in a suit.
31:43You know, we gave McKelty our hugs and kisses
31:46and told her we loved her,
31:49and she was willed away.
31:53It's hard.
31:54It's really hard emotionally to have your kids
31:57have any kind of procedure like that.
31:59It was really difficult.
32:04The entire pregnancy, my heart rate never spiked.
32:07I never had issues with blood pressure at all,
32:10but as soon as I was in there getting my,
32:13getting the numbing for the epidural
32:15and then getting the epidural,
32:16my heart rate started spiking
32:17and my blood pressure started going up,
32:19and I started to go into a panic.
32:23Those doors are so hard to see,
32:25because you know your child is on the other side,
32:28and there's nothing you can do to help them.
32:34I am extremely upset that I can't have Tony
32:39in the operating room with me while I get the epidural.
32:44I don't know what to do.
32:46I don't know what to do.
32:48I can't have Tony in the operating room with me
32:51while I get the epidural.
32:53The doctors and the nurses in the room were like,
32:56something's going on.
32:58What's wrong?
32:59My body was shaking just because I was,
33:01just anxiety.
33:02The only solution is get me my husband.
33:10As soon as Tony entered the room, though,
33:12he was finally able to come in,
33:13and immediately I started to calm down.
33:15I started to feel better because I had him there.
33:17And these doctors so much,
33:19that everything's going to be okay.
33:21I was really glad Aspen was there,
33:23and Robin was there in the room too,
33:25so the three of us just sat and waited for it to be done.
33:34It's just surprising, a little scary,
33:38what it takes to get those babies out of her.
33:41I was really happy I could be there during the operation,
33:43because I know it means the world to her,
33:46and I want to be there.
33:47Seeing everything, really cool.
33:49Being there for my wife, super, super important.
33:53Having kids come back, best part.
33:59When I have Archer in my arms,
34:01I just instantly start,
34:03calm me down, and everything's fine.
34:05And then Ace comes out,
34:07they wrap him up a little bit,
34:08and then they bring him over in my other arm,
34:10and I'm able to hold him.
34:11And at that point, I'm like, this is great.
34:13I'm happy. This is awesome. Yes.
34:17You'd hear the voices of my moms and Aspen in the other room.
34:21It was just like this incredible experience.
34:24I had my boys. They were safe.
34:27They were here. They were healthy.
34:29And it was just this overjoyous experience
34:34of everything's fine.
34:41Robin and Christine are together.
34:42I don't know how much they're interacting.
34:44I don't know what the experience will be like.
34:46They're not here for each other.
34:47They're not here for anybody else.
34:48They're here for me.
34:49So it's very honoring, humbling, and super special
34:53because this is one of the most incredible
34:56and memorable moments of my life.
34:58And to be able to share it with my moms,
35:00I think, is really important to me.
35:02I was handed Archer first,
35:04and it was just love at first sight.
35:07At the same time, Christine was holding Ace,
35:10and so it was kind of like we were, you know,
35:13holding...
35:25We were just holding our grandbabies together.
35:28I just wish it was under different circumstances,
35:31as far as Christine and I are concerned.
35:35And it was kind of sweet because...
35:40For a moment, I could just forget all that.
35:58Tony McKilty want me there, and they want Christine there.
36:01And Tony's mother is really close, too.
36:06She's at home watching Avalon.
36:08She'll be coming in later, too.
36:11What Tony McKilty want is what's important.
36:14My mom spent last night with us in the hospital
36:17to help me with the twins through the night.
36:19So now she's gonna go home and hang out and be at home,
36:22and Robin's gonna spend the night with us at home
36:24to help us with the twins to get through the night.
36:27Avalon's there.
36:28Tony's mom, Maria, is there.
36:30And then that's it.
36:31We're just gonna keep kind of a small house
36:33as we go and introduce the boys to their sister.
36:42Hey, buddy.
36:43Avalon, do you want to meet your brothers?
36:45Do you want to meet your brothers?
36:52Look at the baby.
36:54Wow, he's so soft.
36:56So soft.
36:58So soft.
37:00Went straight for his eye.
37:02She's a tough kid.
37:04She roughhouses a lot.
37:06And so these are very fragile babies.
37:08Like, I was absolutely nervous about her hurting one of them.
37:11Come on, look.
37:12There's a little baby.
37:13Come here.
37:14Come here.
37:15Yeah.
37:16Avalon looks stressed out.
37:21Do you need his hat off?
37:23Good job.
37:25Good job.
37:26She finally realized these aren't just babies,
37:30and they're not toys.
37:31They're actual humans, and they belong to Mommy and Daddy.
37:36I think it just, it was honestly heartbreaking.
37:40You got him?
37:41You got him?
37:42You sure?
37:44OK, OK.
37:45You're not ready.
37:47You're not ready.
37:49I mean, I guess having a plural family,
37:51and we at that time all lived together,
37:55it was very different than having two parents and one child.
37:59I had three wives before I had any children.
38:01We sort of did all pitch in with the baby.
38:08It's a big change.
38:10I don't personally recall any of my children
38:15being specifically weirded out by a new baby.
38:20Come cuddle.
38:22This is when she's understanding.
38:24OK, OK.
38:25A little bit.
38:26She just clued in.
38:28She just left.
38:29I don't know if our kids really had time to, like,
38:34grow up to be a toddler, to be like, wait a second.
38:36Who is this other child?
38:37There's just always another one coming.
38:40There was some weird stuff that happened.
38:42I mean, like, I had my first child,
38:44and there was a mother that was jealous.
38:46Come here, Logan.
38:47Come here.
38:48Mary comes.
38:49It was Christine who got jealous when Logan was born.
38:52Logan was absolutely lovely.
38:54What I was going through was the first year
38:56of being in plural marriage.
38:58It was so hard.
38:59I felt like I lost my identity completely.
39:03Sparky.
39:04Having all those kids that young, we were all involved.
39:07It was supposed to be this extremely benevolent experience.
39:14And now that it's all come apart for me, I'm just going,
39:17was it?
39:18Or was it just suppressed jealousy?
39:22Was it sometimes suppressed rage?
39:25I don't know.
39:26All right, Tony, let's go upstairs.
39:28Here, Aspen.
39:29Will you take him?
39:30Let's go.
39:31This is Archer.
39:32We're going to take the long, arduous journey.
39:34I just shocked him.
39:35Sorry, baby.
39:39They look nothing alike at all.
39:42They're fraternal twins, which means they're not identical.
39:45They don't look alike at all.
39:47And they look nothing like Avalon.
39:51Oh, stop.
39:52Let go.
39:53God, don't do that.
39:54Robin's going to stay with us for the next couple of days,
39:56help us through the night.
39:58She's just going to be here kind of 24-7.
40:00Well.
40:02This was really nice because Robin was able to get this bonding
40:05with the grandkids.
40:06So when Robin goes back home, mom will be able to have her bonding
40:10as well with her grandkids.
40:12And then Maria being able to come up and have her bonding as well.
40:15It's just, it's really nice.
40:17Is this the same bed you gave birth to Avalon in?
40:20Yeah.
40:21Yeah, this is the bed I gave birth to Avalon in.
40:23All of Robin's kids love McKelty.
40:26She puts a lot on herself.
40:28She puts a lot of all of this on herself,
40:30about bringing the family together and having it be her role
40:34because she gets along great with Robin,
40:37and she gets along great with me.
40:40Cody and Robin are grandparents to Avalon,
40:42and they'll be grandparents for the twins.
40:44Well, no, I technically gave birth to Avalon on the floor.
40:47Yep, that's true.
40:49It's crazy because people think when they split,
40:53when they divorce or whatever,
40:55that they won't have to see each other, and that's not true.
41:00You'll always be in each other's lives somehow or another.
41:03I'm going to be the one kind of helping the most,
41:06and then I'm sure Christine will kind of step in after I leave,
41:10and I'll hand the baton off to her kind of a thing.
41:13Heather Robin there to me just showed that
41:17I don't know how long it's going to take for all of us
41:21to get back together again and be okay in each other's presence.
41:25It was awkward, and it's going to be awkward for a while,
41:29and I don't know what the future looks like.
41:33We'll do it for our kids, but it's not going to happen
41:37anything that I want to have happen soon.
41:41Next time on Sister Wives...
41:43You want some dark...
41:45This is the first Thanksgiving that Robin and I are having
41:48with just our children.
41:50I've heard Cody say how awkward it is
41:52because he can't show the affection to Robin,
41:54and I'm not going to inhibit that.
41:56Robin slept in the closet.
41:58Seriously.
41:59And she had both boys with her,
42:01and when they would wake up and be hungry,
42:03I'd feed one of the boys, and she'd go back to bed.
42:06I said, I'll take the closet.
42:08I'll take the closet.
42:09You stay in the bed with her, and she wouldn't do it.
42:12I was putting pressure on Cody
42:14to work on his relationships with his kids.
42:17I'm tired of being angry.
42:19Oh, I'm having a hard time
42:21not losing respect for you a little bit.
42:24I think that Cody should be camping out on the doorsteps.
42:27Your kids need you.