Taskmaster S18 E04

  • 2 days ago
Taskmaster S18 E04

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00I
00:30Can I see an overweight but dashing man get a feckless weasel with a wonky tooth to torture his peer group for pointless tasks
00:37Channel 4. That's where silly let's meet them. Now. They are andy's offs man
00:49Josie
01:00And
01:03Next to me a man who says that he loves to holiday in Wales because it is so beautiful
01:09But longs for the day when its people are driven into the sea
01:22Hello Greg, hello there. Hello. I've got your present. Thank you. Do you like cars?
01:27Do I yeah, do you yes good. Oh, do you like Greg Davis?
01:33Bally stop looking in the mirror. Well, I think you'll like genuine personalized number plates
01:44Back and front
01:47Personalized I'm a plate for Greg Davis. Does it say Gary Davis?
01:52Yeah, I got muddled I did
01:57Surprised us today this time. They've brought in the thing most likely to make you say. Oh
02:03Christ now, that is bad
02:12Probably said badass I'm sure we've all probably had badass but Greg wants to see something
02:18Makes him say it like he means it and that will result in five really really big points you
02:23Am a city. Yes, how are you gonna make me say now that is badass. This is something that I own
02:31Is very precious to me and I think it speaks for itself
02:35React to this Greg. Okay. I know what I've got to say if it doesn't elicit the response. Here we go
02:41Nothing
02:53Now that is badass I
02:56Hate it. I find it religiously insensitive. Yes. I think God and Jesus would love that
03:12I don't think any of the big three would like that. I think it's horrible. Yeah
03:22Yo, are you gonna make me say wow, that's his badass a hundred percent well, how's your footwear nowadays, bro?
03:28You got your sock game on unlock. I won't lie. Yeah, I got something that better than these shoes
03:34100% way better than your shoes
03:37I
03:40He's gonna get you these shoes Greg, all right
03:43Nike Air Force one. Let me tell you something. Yeah. So now when you come to like the ends, right?
03:49You wear white Air Forces when I come to the the ends and the ends bro. Watch top boy, bruv. Okay
03:57It's a lot of work for me to do before I can say these are badass
04:02All you need to do is just rock up with a pair of white Air Forces
04:05But this is the thing you can't just rock up with a pair Air Forces, right?
04:08You've got a laugh, but the laugh has to be smooth. You've got to be like
04:14What situations am I gonna do this in brother?
04:17I'm just trying to inject some youth into you. You're the one that's turned like what did you say like 75?
04:24Feels like it but I don't know whether I'm gonna feel more youthful if I go into any situation and go
04:29I
04:33Was damn no, no, that laugh was good though
04:38What have you brought it? Yeah, I brought in some pain and then I've also brought in a
04:48promise
04:52Let's dance well, that's not a more badass and a tattoo
04:59I got to want to and I got a food one. Oh, yeah
05:15Wow
05:18Promise is
05:20If you don't
05:23And watch me quite highly yeah
05:36Jack yeah, I'm unpopular in the world of hip-hop and rap and
05:43so I borrowed something from a rapper friend of mine and
05:47He sent me one of his outfits and he's pretty famous as well. So I
05:53Know he's called TK max
06:00Yeah, and he was just said whatever you need I'm sending it to you Greg is this badass
06:11I would wear if I was unloading an angel from the back of a van
06:20It's your choice
06:23It's not bad
06:25Only and dissolves when you can save us. There's a dangerous words Greg
06:29Well, I thought you know, what would make you say badass. I'm made you a work of art. Let's reveal Andy's work of art
06:36Here we go
06:44Now that is about that also, I mean, let's look at the quality of the painting
06:50That's bad, isn't it
06:54It's a badass. Yeah, and it's badass. Yes. See Emma how this works
07:00And see that cherub because after all this you're gonna be like well my god stick the cherub back up for us
07:06Okay, here is the badass
07:08Yeah
07:15Which one would make you say badass least it's between Jack's awful moving outfit and Emma's badass angel
07:22So I'd be really nice and give them both to pair of trainers as well
07:30He's right though
07:33He's doing well picked up on I'll give two points to all of those people and then we'll jump up
07:37I think we've got to reward Zaltzman. He created the correct ass for the situation
07:42I'm gonna give him five points and I'll give this merger a four
07:52Okay, let's take things to the next level
08:02Oh
08:11Alex honey gold this time. It's nice nice little touch
08:20Can I open this is task probably
08:24We go that's what we want not that girl shit
08:33Push
08:35Push the envelope the furthest
08:37You have half an hour your time starts now. I
08:43Could say some outrageous things see that pushes the envelope get myself cancelled
08:49It's a
08:50Is it rude?
08:53like
08:55fortune
08:59Which uses pillow for what's this supposed to do present my nuts on it to my wife
09:08Yeah, what did he do I dressed as Spongebob Squarepants
09:13to a fancy dress party and everyone's like
09:16We don't do that in Guilford and I was like I do
09:27Take the envelope
09:30Excuse me
09:44Surprisingly heavily sexual from three out of five of you
09:48You were asked to push the envelope and within seconds Jones had compared it to a vagina. I presume
10:00Push
10:07What you're saying is if you don't understand any phrase in the English language you assume it's sexual
10:14So like some people have walked past you and said or a rolling stone gathers. No moss and you've gone tell me
10:21I
10:26Think we should we're gonna begin by watching Emma and Rosie push their envelopes Oh God
10:40You're gonna push the envelope within yourself, what does that mean?
10:51Ice I'm gonna push the envelope the farthest here I go
11:11Oh King show
11:18My man
11:21Rays
11:45All right, there you go to Greg taskmaster love hearts
11:51There's actually a letter inside, but it's private.
11:54There you go, mate.
11:55Pushed it.
11:57Team Jane bottomed up.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:09Shall we?
12:11APPLAUSE
12:15That must have driven you over the edge, didn't it? A smoothie.
12:18LAUGHTER
12:20Well, I just hope you give her enough shit for being a smoothie girl as well.
12:23She's revealed her true colours there. She loves a smoothie.
12:25Glugged it down, didn't you?
12:27I was unwilling to just eat the paper.
12:32Yeah, they made you turn it into a smoothie for your own safety.
12:35Yes. And we still need to say, you shouldn't eat an envelope,
12:38you also shouldn't drink an envelope.
12:40Yeah. You could chug it down. Is that pushing the envelope?
12:43I was pushing the envelope
12:47by pushing the envelope down my gullet.
12:53And, ultimately, out of your bop-bop.
12:55Yeah, yeah.
12:57You know what?
12:59It's still a bit cold.
13:02LAUGHTER
13:06Emma, I will say, I thought you did great cartwheels.
13:09Thank you. And you could still be in the game,
13:11cos I haven't read your letter yet. Oh, my God.
13:14Letter. I don't know what I said.
13:16No-one knows what you said, because you said it was private.
13:19I don't know. I think I was having a weird week.
13:23LAUGHTER
13:27Oh. Well, it is...
13:32..polite.
13:36It literally says, I hope you've had a good week.
13:40Oh. OK, who's next?
13:42OK, well, next up, it's A, B, C, D...
13:45Jack D!
13:55There's your envelope.
14:01How's your day going, Jack?
14:02Not as dignified as I thought it would.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:09It didn't work. I wasn't happy with that.
14:23LAUGHTER
14:37LAUGHTER
14:48Oh.
14:54It's A, B...
14:58LAUGHTER
15:07LAUGHTER
15:15APPLAUSE
15:19All I've written is, well, that will save BAFTA some money
15:22for your in-memorandum film.
15:28Yeah. And the sooner they play it, the better.
15:33Absolutely heartbreaking.
15:35It pushed the envelope. It made me genuinely feel quite emotional.
15:39Yeah. In total, on that day, he pushed the envelope three miles.
15:44I would have carried on, but the crew caught up with me
15:46and said I had to stop.
15:48Well, the time had run out quite a long time.
15:50About the two-mile mark, the time had run out, yeah.
15:52Kept on going. Oh, nice.
15:55Right, break time.
15:57Let's end on a high with some of Alex's impressions.
16:00It's Alex's Impression Hour. Ready? No. Donald Trump.
16:04Hey, how are they, guys? I can't do impressions.
16:07Greg Wallace.
16:09You want to eat your dinner?
16:11Camilla Parker-Bowles.
16:13Good evening, everyone.
16:15Stephen the Bastard!
16:17APPLAUSE
16:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:29Hello, there.
16:30Welcome back to Taskmaster,
16:32where the competitors are pushing the envelope.
16:34Oh, yes, they could do pretty much anything to impress Greg
16:37with this one, to extend the limits of what's possible.
16:40Or you could just pace about a bit with a letter in a wheelbarrow.
16:43Last up, it's Baba and Andy.
16:46All right, how do I push this thing? I can make a bowl out of it.
16:49Look, it's a bowl.
16:51Someone get me milk and cereal.
16:53Are you talking to me?
16:55Yes.
17:01Right, you little paper monstrosity, where is it?
17:03You pathetic little failed origami pigeon.
17:05I wouldn't lick you if you were the last envelope on Earth.
17:08Where is it? Tell me where it is!
17:11How do you make cereal? You look like you put the milk in first.
17:14Always milk first.
17:15How very dare you!
17:17Who does that?
17:20Want to talk now, my slightly crumpled friend?
17:26Answer the question! Answer the question!
17:31I ain't going to eat this. I think you should eat a little bit.
17:34Nah, my guy, I don't drink cow's milk.
17:36If I drink this, you will hear me in the toilet going,
17:40You know what I'm saying? I'll really be moving up that toilet.
17:43Maybe this will make you talk.
17:45Huh? You want to be next?
17:47Tell me what you know. Well, God help me, I will shred you.
17:50I will shred you!
17:52Last chance. I know you want to tell me. Talk.
17:58I knew it. I did it.
18:00I stole the life cast of Alex Horne.
18:02I shrank it and I hid it in a wooden box under a cow.
18:06I knew you'd break eventually.
18:08Here comes the aeroplane.
18:13Come on! Nice, isn't it?
18:16Right.
18:21There it is. It's like he's been working out.
18:24Mystery solved. I pushed that envelope good and proper.
18:32Andy, very creative. Genuinely disturbing.
18:37Thanks.
18:38I just think this show is just revealing you to be
18:41just not the person everyone thought you were.
18:44It's not revealing me to be not the person I thought I was.
18:47From episode to episode, you're getting more and more terrifying.
18:51It's very good, Andy.
18:53And quite the contrast, jumping from that...
18:56..to Baba feeding cereal into your stupid face from an envelope.
19:01Can I just say something? I pushed the envelope to its limits.
19:05I made it into a bowl.
19:08I mean, it doesn't matter how emphatically you say that.
19:12Do you scream nice in it into the face of your young children
19:15when you're feeding them?
19:23I do as well.
19:29OK, but who pushed it the least far?
19:31Who pushed it the furthest?
19:33I think I'm... Do you feel a bit picked on today, Em?
19:36I can't think how I'm going to not put you last
19:38when you did three cartwheels and then wrote me a letter
19:41asking how I was.
19:44So it's one to Emma. Baba, two points.
19:46Two to you, Baba.
19:48OK, I'm going to give Rosie three points.
19:55He walked three miles and his heart's not up to it.
19:59Three to Rosie.
20:00I'm usually led by emotion.
20:02And the one that moved me the most emotionally
20:04was Jack pushing an envelope three miles.
20:07So four points to Andy, five points to Jack.
20:13Hey, let's have a scoreboard.
20:15All right, well, the team of two, Jack and Rosie are in joint,
20:18second with seven points, but in the lead,
20:20it's Andy's ultimate with nine points.
20:25What's next, please, Horne?
20:27Well, we're off to a scare maze.
20:30MUSIC PLAYS
20:55Hiya!
20:57Hi, Rosie.
21:00Manlike.
21:03Hello, Baba. Hey.
21:04You look nice. Yes, bro.
21:06Come on, man, look at the outfit, bro.
21:08I'll make this look good, I'm not going to lie to you, bro.
21:10I'm the hottest hot dog you've ever seen in your life.
21:12I agree with... Oh, you're still talking, yeah.
21:14Come on. So whatever you do on this task
21:16will be worth twice the number of points for you.
21:18See you in a minute.
21:23Bye-bye. Bye.
21:25Carrot on your back.
21:30Take a bite out of Alex's carrot.
21:33Alex's carrot, is that a euphemism? Is that an actual carrot?
21:37Alex will ring his bell every ten seconds.
21:41You must laugh constantly throughout.
21:44No problem there!
21:49You must both only walk at a gentle pace.
21:53No problem there!
21:57Fast as the wind.
22:05Fast as winds. Your time starts now.
22:08BELL RINGS
22:10LAUGHTER
22:13BELL RINGS
22:17LAUGHTER
22:23BELL RINGS
22:26LAUGHTER
22:30APPLAUSE
22:34You actually did look quite good in the hot dog.
22:37Come on, bro, this is what I'm saying, bro.
22:39Should have brought it instead of the trainers.
22:42Let's get on with it, shall we?
22:44We're going to start with a happy Jack and a rambling Rosie.
22:47BELL RINGS
22:48LAUGHTER
22:51LAUGHTER
22:57BELL RINGS
23:03LAUGHTER
23:10BELL RINGS
23:16BELL RINGS
23:19BELL RINGS
23:24Oh, you're not Alex, are you?
23:28No, I'm not Alex!
23:32BELL RINGS
23:34That's wrong. It's not even Alex.
23:38LAUGHTER
23:41BELL RINGS
23:45BELL RINGS
23:49LAUGHTER
23:53BELL RINGS
23:57BELL RINGS
24:01LAUGHTER
24:05BELL RINGS
24:09LAUGHTER
24:13BELL RINGS
24:16LAUGHTER
24:20BELL RINGS
24:24LAUGHTER
24:28BELL RINGS
24:32BELL RINGS
24:36LAUGHTER
24:40BELL RINGS
24:43LAUGHTER
24:47APPLAUSE
24:51BELL RINGS
24:53Is that Alex?
24:55Yeah, is that you, Jack? Yeah.
24:57Where are we?
24:59Well, I know the way out. I'll see you outside. Goodbye.
25:02No!
25:04Oh, bloody hell, Alex!
25:08APPLAUSE
25:12Well, an absolute vision of hell in many ways,
25:15watching both of you go through that dystopian nightmare,
25:18made so much worse by me realising for the first time
25:22that Rosie Jones has got Daddy written across her back.
25:25LAUGHTER
25:27Of course I did.
25:29I felt she was relentless.
25:31Well, she was. Got me in three minutes 49.
25:33Oh, wow.
25:34Jack has the best laughter carrot noise that I think we'll see tonight.
25:40LAUGHTER
25:42Three minutes 26 for Jack. It was a pretty close race.
25:45Just over three minutes. Lovely.
25:47Now it's time to get giddy with Emma Siddy.
25:50Uh-oh.
25:51Ha-ha-ha.
25:54Ha-ha-ha-ha.
25:56Ha-ha-ha.
25:58Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:00Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:02Ha-ha-ha.
26:04Ha-ha-ha.
26:06Ha-ha-ha.
26:08Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:13Ha-ha-ha.
26:14Laughter
26:15Alex, it's the Doppelgänger!
26:17Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:22You bastard!
26:24Ha-ha-ha.
26:27Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:28Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:32Ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:36Two bells.
26:38BELL RINGS
26:40Ha-ha!
26:42Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
26:44BELL RINGS
26:46Oh!
26:48Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
26:50BELL RINGS
26:52BELL RINGS
26:54BELL RINGS
26:56They're swapping bells! Swapping bells, you bastards!
26:59Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:01Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:03Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:05Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:07Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:09BELL RINGS
27:11Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:13BELL RINGS
27:15Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:17Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:19BELL RINGS
27:21Hello, Emma.
27:23It was really infuriating, that.
27:25That other bloke.
27:27What other bloke?
27:29No, I... I'm not doing that.
27:31No?
27:33APPLAUSE
27:37I wish more people would shut him down like that.
27:40No, I'm not doing that.
27:42It was a treat.
27:44I've clearly had enough, which really worries me.
27:46How long was that?
27:47It felt like a long time,
27:49and I felt like you went from someone doing quite a fun comedy laugh
27:53to someone who could kill.
27:56Yeah.
27:57And the tipping point for me was this.
27:59Ha-ha-ha-ha. Hee-hee.
28:01All three of you walked 300 metres.
28:03They took three minutes, you took eight minutes.
28:05It could have been longer.
28:07I could have kept that going for hours, I think.
28:10There was no way you were going to catch me.
28:14Because she was going too slowly.
28:17We all had fun. Hee-hee-hee.
28:20OK, time for another break.
28:22Hopefully there will be an overseas advert
28:24that has been badly dubbed in English
28:26so that the company can save money,
28:29by a nuclear apocalypse.
28:31It's what we deserve.
28:33It's genuinely my birthday.
28:48Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster,
28:51where the bell end's got a bell and he won't stop ringing it.
28:55Yeah, I suppose that's true.
28:57Just two people to go, and one of them's dressed as a hot dog.
29:00It's Andy's Altman and playing for double points,
29:02it's Babatunde Alesha.
29:04BELL RINGS
29:06Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:08BELL RINGS
29:10Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:12Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:14Ha-ha-ha.
29:16BELL RINGS
29:18Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:20BELL RINGS
29:22Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:24BELL RINGS
29:26Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:28BELL RINGING
29:30Ah! I got you!
29:32Yes, I told you I can't, bruv. Don't try it, bro.
29:35Ha-ha. Yeah! I'm the man!
29:39I won, right?
29:45Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:46Ha-ha-ha-ha.
29:48Ha-ha-ha.
29:50Ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:52BELL RINGS
29:54Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
29:58BELL RINGS
29:59HE LAUGHS
30:01BELL RINGS
30:02LAUGHTER
30:05BELL RINGS
30:07LAUGHTER
30:10Very good.
30:11Yeah?
30:12LAUGHTER
30:16Oh, that's the good stuff.
30:18I won.
30:20Say it.
30:22Say it. I don't want to say it.
30:24Well, you know I won.
30:26APPLAUSE
30:31Did you expect that when you entered this show
30:33that you would end up chasing a man
30:35so that you could bite his carrot while stressed as a hot dog?
30:38No, I didn't.
30:40And did you expect to be shouting, I'm the man, afterwards?
30:43Well, to be fair, I don't mind me saying it.
30:46He still needs to say it.
30:48I think you're the man, but he wants me to say that he's the man.
30:51I don't mind you saying he's the man, if you do it with conviction.
30:54You're the man.
30:55By stark contrast, I've written it down somewhere.
30:57How did Andy celebrate...
30:59Yeah, well, he had a second bite of a carrot.
31:02And do you remember what you said after you had the second bite?
31:04Well, it varies from carrot to carrot with me.
31:06You said, oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
31:09Well, we know Emma was eight minutes and gets one point for that.
31:13Rosie, 3.49.
31:15Jack, 3.26.
31:16Andy was two minutes 55.
31:19Come second place, though, because Baba did it in 35 seconds.
31:22APPLAUSE
31:24Ten points.
31:25Straight in.
31:27So, Andy, you get four points, but, Baba, you get ten points.
31:30APPLAUSE
31:33One more task proper, please, small boy.
31:37I'm the man, sure thing.
31:40Ding-a-ling, get ready to check out my versatile new jacket.
32:00Can I help?
32:02No, I'm on a turntable, Jack.
32:05Mm-hm.
32:07Not really, though, are you?
32:09You're turning round.
32:12Oh, look.
32:13Mm-hm. Feels a bit personal.
32:15Woo!
32:20Every time you pick an incorrect pocket,
32:23you must high-five Alex.
32:25If you touch, tamper with or peek into a pocket,
32:28you must pick it.
32:29You must pick it.
32:36You have a maximum of 15 minutes.
32:38Your time starts now.
32:47Why are you spinning?
32:49It's just the setting.
32:52Ugh.
32:53Just wind up.
32:55APPLAUSE
32:58Have we got a moment just to replay what I think might be
33:03the creepiest moment in Taskmaster history?
33:07Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Here it is.
33:1518 series and I've never felt a shudder like it.
33:25It's about consent, yeah.
33:28It is about consent.
33:30APPLAUSE
33:35First to locate the locket, it's Jack and Baba.
33:39OK, so I'm thinking there's going to be some sort of locket
33:43in one of those pockets. Yeah, yeah.
33:47Lipstick. Is that a locket?
33:49No, that's lipstick.
33:50Shall I put it there? Yeah, I'll put it here.
33:52What's lipstick? Chinese five-spice.
33:54Chinese five-spice.
33:55There's nothing in there that's other than that.
34:00It's a bloody raisin.
34:02Oh, OK.
34:05Pow!
34:06Found the locket yet? No, that's a dog biscuit.
34:08OK.
34:09What's in here? No, it's the bloody locket.
34:12Pow!
34:17You take a lot of stuff around with you, don't you?
34:19Yep. 108 pockets.
34:21I can see that. Another locket.
34:22Pick up yourself.
34:24No, that's something else.
34:26That's just a bag of...
34:28That's my bag of yellow, yeah. Bag of yellow. Mm-hm.
34:31Fair enough.
34:34Pick up yourself.
34:38Don't trust sound people or make-up artists.
34:41That's a bit bad, isn't it?
34:43I'd trust sound people and make-up artists.
34:45Why wouldn't you? You shouldn't.
34:47Yeah, good advice, thank you. Mm-hm.
34:49But not what you're after. Right.
34:52Keys. Ooh.
34:53What do I open this with?
34:55Ah, this might be it.
34:56No, it's a compass.
34:57It's a compass with my name on it.
34:59Babatunde.
35:00Oh, it says my name on it. Come on.
35:02There's a picture of me.
35:03Yeah, I've just got a couple of things with your names on it.
35:06That's very thoughtful.
35:09Oh, my days with this stupid-ass rocket, man.
35:11Getting on my nerves.
35:13Stone with Y written on it.
35:15These are starting to annoy me.
35:17The rockets. Too many of them.
35:19Why have you got milk, thirsty?
35:20Yuck!
35:21That's an eye. Mm-hm.
35:22So...
35:24Yeah.
35:25Hey!
35:27Pick the locket from the pocket.
35:29That's a padlock.
35:31Oh, for goodness sake, it's a nine-eight-one.
35:33What the hell?
35:34Five and a half minutes left to find this locket.
35:36Left.
35:37Another pebble, so it spells you.
35:39Right.
35:40I don't think that's got any relevance, to be honest.
35:42Right. OK.
35:43Yeah. I found the other eye, though.
35:45There we go.
35:46There we go.
35:51The locket is in your pocket.
35:53The locket is in your pocket?
35:54No, it ain't.
35:55I ain't got no locket in my pocket.
36:00Ha-ha-ha!
36:05There you are.
36:06You've got a locket.
36:07How did you do that?
36:08You look like David Copperfield now, are you?
36:10And there's a piece of hair in there as well.
36:12I've got my own hair.
36:13That's... OK.
36:14Well, I shall treasure that.
36:20I mean, these are people who thought
36:22there might be a faster way of doing this.
36:24Just went route one.
36:25How were we supposed to know that there was a locket in our pocket?
36:28I realised after this, cos someone took my jacket to do something
36:31and I should have... Yeah.
36:33Trustingly, I said, yeah, of course, thank you.
36:35I thanked them.
36:36I thanked them.
36:38Do you want to know how many pockets I picked?
36:40Yes, please.
36:41Babatunde, 41 incorrect pockets.
36:44Jack, 70.
36:47Would you like to see Rosie Jones' locket adventure?
36:49Let's go.
36:50Rosie Jones.
36:51I don't think it's in this,
36:56cos that would be obvious.
37:01Ooh, can I pick that one?
37:06Don't trust sound people
37:11or make-up artists.
37:14Well, you don't need to tell me that.
37:23Is it in your pocket?
37:27You said no,
37:30but I don't trust you.
37:34LAUGHTER
37:41You've got his wallet?
37:42Yeah.
37:43Right.
37:48Oh, is it on me?!
37:53Oh, my God!
37:57You sneaky bugger!
38:04Well done, Rosie.
38:05Don't trust anyone.
38:15I just want to make it clear
38:17that when Rosie was told not to trust sound and lighting people,
38:20she said, and I quote,
38:22and I quote,
38:23you don't need to tell me that,
38:25they're all pieces of shit.
38:30I mean it!
38:34And you then went on
38:36to blatantly steal money from a sound man's wallet.
38:40Yes!
38:41Neil was lying to me.
38:45The least they could do was rob him.
38:52He wasn't lying to you.
38:53Of course.
38:54And fast, surely.
38:55Well, it's all about the number of pockets picked.
38:57Yes.
38:58Five of Neil's, five of her own, three of mine,
39:00so 13 in total.
39:0113 in total.
39:02That's good.
39:03APPLAUSE
39:04We're stopping again.
39:05One part left to go and at the end of it,
39:07someone will stroll proudly out of the studio
39:10carrying a sculpture of a cherub wearing sunglasses
39:13and a painting of a banged-up donkey.
39:15This isn't a cheese dream.
39:17We're all being paid for this.
39:20We'll see you in part four.
39:22APPLAUSE
39:35Well, the match is part four and Alex has a stupid jacket on.
39:39It's not stupid, actually.
39:41You're stupid.
39:42Lee Attractive.
39:44Yes, they...
39:46They have to find the locket
39:49Two left, it's Andy and Emma.
39:52OK, I'm just going to take a second.
39:56The taskmaster's locket.
39:58Doesn't necessarily... It's one of your pockets, though, is it?
40:01Are there clues in your pockets?
40:03All I do is spin round.
40:04OK.
40:06So there's bits of paper in some of these pockets, by the looks of it.
40:09Are you peeking?
40:10Overviewing.
40:11Peeking is... That's a specific pocket, I'd say.
40:14All right.
40:16LAUGHTER
40:23Well, some action.
40:25There's a great big statue of the taskmaster outside.
40:28Can that count as a locket?
40:30It's not a locket and it wasn't in a pocket, Andy.
40:32OK, I think I'm going to have to pick a pocket.
40:35Excuse me.
40:38So that appears to be Richard Herring on a red fish.
40:43Half your time gone.
40:47Chinese Five Spice.
40:49It's a spice for me.
40:51Right, I need an alternative pocket again.
40:53How many minutes have I got left? Four and a half.
40:55Four and a half, OK. I'll use it wisely.
41:00You've got three minutes, Andy.
41:06I found a pineapple and some string.
41:08Was it in a pocket?
41:09Well, not yet, but I could put it in a pocket.
41:11It's OK, I'll take that one out then.
41:13What's this? My milk.
41:15Milk? My milk.
41:16Your milk? My milk. Do you want it now?
41:18But you are running out of time. I see that.
41:20I'll put the milk there.
41:24It feels like you're tampering.
41:28I think lockets are passe.
41:30Yeah? I don't like lockets.
41:32I've never liked them, actually.
41:34Are you off, Andy? Yeah, I'm done.
41:37Right.
41:39I don't want to be weird.
41:44I found this in my pocket earlier.
41:49So I've done it, have I?
41:51Yeah, you didn't pick any incorrect pockets.
41:53Yeah. Brilliant.
42:07Now, that was badass.
42:09Yeah. So I'm a girl that likes a clean line.
42:12Yeah. So whenever I'm going out,
42:14you know, you don't want shit in your pockets, right?
42:17You don't want stuff in your pocket. Do not want shit in your pocket.
42:20So I was just about to do it and going,
42:22hang on, wait, what?
42:24OK.
42:26Let's do this.
42:28That's my story.
42:30It's a different story to my Andy story.
42:32Andy's I wrote down just to make sure I got it right.
42:36He picked about four or five pockets.
42:38He tried to redefine what a locket is.
42:42Yeah, I went to try and find the nearest available snooker club,
42:47thinking that maybe one of their snooker table pockets
42:51would have...
42:54..a packet of lockets in it.
42:56Anyway...
42:58I mean, I remember, as we recorded that,
43:02thinking how annoying it was
43:04because if I'd seen back,
43:06I'd forgotten that I'd almost solved it in the first second.
43:10Yeah. That is a fuckload more annoying now.
43:13So...
43:14Also quite annoying that we think the locket's probably still in your pocket.
43:17Oh, right.
43:19So zero points to Andy on that one.
43:21Jack, two points for you, three to Bubba, four to Rosie,
43:24but five to Emma City.
43:26So, congratulations.
43:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:29Hugh, let's see the scoreboard, just please.
43:31Well, I think the hot dog helped.
43:33Bubba's on the top with 17 points.
43:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:38Right, everyone, would you please make your way to the stage
43:41for the final task of the show?
43:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:49Who will be reading the task out?
43:51It's going to follow my lads, Bubba. OK.
43:55Gather a herd of animals with exactly 22 legs.
43:59You may not harm any animals.
44:02You may only use animals on either side of this wall
44:06and you may not use each other.
44:10On Alex's whistle, you must hurl one of your herd over the wall.
44:15When your herd has 22 legs, only then may you don your tutus.
44:20First team in tutus wins.
44:22Each of them have six animals on their bench
44:26and that's where the herd lives.
44:28You've got a flamingo with one leg, a kangaroo with two,
44:31a sick dog with three legs,
44:33Potatus, the cat, with four legs,
44:35a monster there with five legs
44:37and an ant with six legs.
44:39You've got to throw something every 15 seconds.
44:42That's when I'll blow the whistle.
44:44If you don't do the maths correctly within the 15 seconds
44:46and another animal comes over and you've missed the tutu opportunity,
44:48it carries on. Got it.
44:50Good luck. I'm going to start the clock now.
44:53Choose your animals, choose your animals.
44:55We're going for three.
44:56Well, maybe don't say it out loud.
45:01Pick up an animal, get ready to throw.
45:03You're going to be throwing on the whistle.
45:05Three, two, one.
45:07Lovely. Put that on the bench.
45:09That's 22.
45:17Task complete. Done.
45:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:24Wow, they did it.
45:26Well, not many people would be brave enough to say it.
45:28I will. The show's been great.
45:30That was rubbish.
45:34Come down here, we'll add that to the final score.
45:42What a glorious anticlimax.
45:45Maybe one of my favourite tasks ever.
45:49It's really made the scoreboard interesting.
45:51Because a team of three gets five points each for that,
45:54a team of two, zero.
45:56And the winner is...
45:58Baba with 22 points!
46:00Yes! Yes! Yes!
46:03Baba comes down and Ashay wins.
46:06Please, bowl up to brandish your badass belongings.
46:14So, what have we learnt from today's show?
46:17We've learnt that Taskmaster, it's a silly old show, really,
46:20but at times it has the capacity to move.
46:23The haunting image of Jack D
46:25strolling heroically into the sunset,
46:28his destination unknown,
46:30pushing that envelope will forever be etched on all of our minds.
46:35And let's also not forget Baba's nuts on a pillow.
46:39And here he is again tonight, cos he's the winner,
46:42it's Baba Tunde!
46:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE