When a film crew comes to the jungle, Tarzan is star-struck and determined to be part of the film. Trouble is, the leading man is not so keen on sharing the spotlight.
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00:0075, 63, 29, the perfect hiding place, 32, 98, 100. Ready or not, here I come.
00:17When's he going to learn how to hide so I can do some seeking?
00:26Oh, Tantor, wherever you are, I'm going to find you.
00:31No, you're not.
00:36You can run, but you can't...
00:38Hunters!
00:42Hey, you found me. Does that mean it's your turn to hide?
00:45We both better hide.
00:50He was soon born away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.
00:56Ah, well done. I do enjoy good storytelling.
01:01Where is Frankenstein now?
01:03Oh, no, these aren't real people, Tarzan. They're just fictional characters.
01:07Fictional?
01:08Um, imaginary. They don't exist.
01:11But why not write about real people?
01:14Well, unfortunately, not all people lead lives as interesting as yours.
01:17Hunters! In a jungle! A lot of them!
01:20Yeah, carrying big, scary weapons.
01:23Show me.
01:27Nobody told me it was going to be this humid.
01:29Or that there'd be mosquitoes the size of donkeys.
01:37Hey, what the...
01:41No hunting in my jungle.
01:45That's mine! What are you...
01:59Why are you attacking my actors?
02:02Actors?
02:09You're not hunters?
02:11Dirk, we'd be carrying around these toys if we were hunters.
02:14We're actors, my scantily clad friend.
02:18Actors, thespians, dramatis personae.
02:22Give it up, Dirk. The guy's obviously a halfwit.
02:25Out of our way, we're losing daylight.
02:28Relax, Stanley. Don't you realize who this is?
02:31This is the real ape man.
02:34Oh, Tom, that's just a legend.
02:39Maybe not.
02:43What did you say your name was? Tarzan.
02:45Tarzan, I'm Tom Orman, director of a movie called Savage Man.
02:49It's based on the legends of a man raised by gorillas in the wild African jungle, like, uh...
02:53Like me?
02:55Uh, no, more like me.
02:57I know I don't look like much of a savage, but I'm the star of the picture.
03:01Stanley Obrosky.
03:03You might have seen my last movie, Rhinestone Rhapsody.
03:06No. Nobody saw Rhinestone Rhapsody.
03:09What's a movie?
03:11You've never seen a movie?
03:16My stars, you are uncivilized.
03:19Not to worry, my boy, you're in for a real treat.
03:26Thanks for letting us turn your call into a screening room, Mr. Dumas.
03:29Please call me Renard.
03:31All of my trading posts are at your complete disposal.
03:34Great.
03:36Say, is this the right movie, Mr. Orman?
03:38For goodness sake, man, put that lamp away.
03:40One spark and the film will go up like a powder keg.
03:42Here, maybe you ought to carry it.
03:44Uh, no thanks, Junior.
03:45I'm trying to cut down.
03:48Just take it back to the projectionist.
03:52Oh, thank you so much for the invitation, Mr. Orman.
03:54I haven't seen a film since we left England.
03:57Oh, well, you are going to love this one.
03:59The last picture, the great train caper.
04:01Lights, Henry!
04:16Watch out!
04:17Tarzan, wait!
04:19Incredible!
04:21Uh, Tarzan, love, um, it's not a real train.
04:25You see?
04:26It's like, um, it's like Daddy's slide projector,
04:28only these pictures move.
04:30Oh.
04:31I'm sorry I interrupted.
04:32Boulderdash!
04:33The director wants the audience to think his movie's real.
04:36In fact, why don't you come to the set tomorrow
04:39and see a real movie being filmed?
04:41Plus, tomorrow is the first scene
04:43with Naomi Madison, our leading lady.
04:47Can I bring Jane?
04:49Oh, my, you really were raised by apes.
04:59Now, Naomi, this is the scene
05:01where the evil poacher Count Camacho has tied you up
05:04and you are saved by a savage jungle man.
05:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, savage jungle man, I got it.
05:10Keep it on my good side, will ya?
05:12Thank heavens movies have no sound.
05:16And action!
05:21Help!
05:23Won't someone help me?
05:26Cue the boulders!
05:27Clear!
05:34Ah!
05:35Help me!
05:37Somebody please save me!
05:41Ah!
05:43Somebody please save me!
05:46Tell her no!
05:47What's he doing?
05:50Saving her.
05:53Help!
05:55Somebody help me!
06:09Incredible!
06:11Ah!
06:16What are you doing?
06:17Saving you.
06:18Oh.
06:19Oh, my.
06:24Are you okay?
06:25I am now.
06:27Just what do you think you're doing?
06:29I was supposed to save Naomi.
06:31You ruined the take.
06:32But she would have been crushed by the rocks.
06:35They're not real, you imbecile.
06:38Not real?
06:39Not real as in fake?
06:40Pretend?
06:41Remember, the events of the movie are all fictional.
06:44So she wasn't in any danger?
06:47No, she wasn't in danger.
06:49Do us all a favor and leave the acting to the professionals.
06:52Stanley!
06:53What are you doing?
06:54What am I doing?
06:55What's Jungle Jack over there doing?
06:56He ruined the take.
06:57Time is money, Tom.
06:59I know, I know, but don't you worry about that.
07:03You just go and get ready for the next scene.
07:05Right.
07:06I can't let a little distraction get me out of character.
07:08Exactly.
07:09Go on now.
07:10Do your breathing exercises.
07:12Vocalize.
07:13Find your motivation.
07:14Be the savage man.
07:17Oh, that's it.
07:19Tell me you got that.
07:27Would you look at that?
07:28Absolutely, totally, completely amazing.
07:32Huh.
07:33Only two bit stuntmen can dodge fake rocks.
07:35You should get better rocks.
07:37When's my scene coming up?
07:39Here it is.
07:53There, see?
07:54I can dodge fake rocks with the best of them.
08:00The rocks bounced right off of you.
08:03So, fix it in the editing.
08:05Not a bad idea.
08:06Take that footage of Tarzan dodging the rocks
08:08and splice it together with your close-ups.
08:09What?
08:10You can't do that.
08:11I'm a star, a cinematic action hero.
08:14This guy isn't even an actor.
08:15No, Stanley, this guy's a real jungle man.
08:18Huh, but could he play Hamlet?
08:20To be or not to be?
08:23Hamlet won't get keisters in the seats.
08:25I'm putting him in my movie.
08:30You can't let that loincloth Louie do my stunts.
08:33I've always done my own stunts.
08:35Stanley, this is in your own best interest.
08:37What would your fans do if you got hurt?
08:39They would...
08:40Why, they would be lost without me.
08:42Of course they would.
08:44We can't deprive the public of their star.
08:46I just won't do it to them.
08:47Tom, you're right.
08:49You are absolutely right.
08:51Now you're talking.
08:52You go practice your lines, superstar.
08:56Will do, Tom.
08:58Will do.
09:01Oh, actors.
09:03We ready to roll?
09:04All set, chief.
09:05Good, let's make some magic.
09:07And action.
09:21Cue Stanley.
09:28Me, Savage Man.
09:30You, Savage Man.
09:32Me, Joan.
09:34And cut.
09:36How was that, eh?
09:38One take of Browski.
09:39That's what they call me.
09:41I remember...
09:43That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
09:45You're going to be a big star.
09:46Huge.
09:47How'd you do that yell?
09:49Uh, excuse me.
09:51I believe I'm the star of this picture.
09:53Am I not?
09:54Hello?
09:55Hey, hey, could you teach me how to do that yell?
09:57Here, Tarzan, sit down.
10:03Pardon me, Renard, but I wanted to talk to you about my bill.
10:07Is there some sort of problem?
10:09Yes, there's a problem.
10:10These catering costs are outrageous.
10:12I could buy a car for what you're charging me for soup.
10:15Well, I'm afraid that is the cost of doing business in the jungle.
10:18But if you'd like to dine elsewhere...
10:22Skunking price-couching.
10:28Uh, Tarzan.
10:31Uh, Tarzan, do you mind...
10:33Mind what?
10:34No offense, but your table manners.
10:36Well, they leave something to be desired.
10:40Oh.
10:42Sorry.
10:43Don't you listen to him, Tarzan.
10:45Instead of criticizing you, he should be studying you.
10:47What?
10:48Sure, I want you to follow Tarzan around.
10:51Learn how to walk, talk, and act like a real jungle man.
10:54I would be glad to teach you how to act, Stanley.
10:57I'll bet.
11:00Really, Tarzan, what's there to know about being raised in the jungle
11:03besides wearing bad clothes?
11:05Well, for starters,
11:07gorillas don't just walk on two legs.
11:09They use their hands, too.
11:11Ew, don't they get dirt under their nails?
11:13Try it.
11:17Why, there's nothing to it.
11:19I dare say I'm even better at this than you.
11:21Ow!
11:22Ow, my back!
11:24Are you all right?
11:26Yes, perfectly.
11:29Let's move on to the next thing.
11:31As fun as it is watching you poke bugs with a stick,
11:34when are we going to do something that will help me with my movie?
11:37A gorilla doesn't eat with a fork or a spoon.
11:40Yes, I noticed at lunch.
11:42A gorilla uses a reed.
11:44You're not going to...
11:45Oh.
11:49Your turn.
11:58Ow!
12:14Do you want me to catch Nuru so you can wrestle him?
12:17Oh, no, that's all right.
12:19I need to get back so I can prepare for tomorrow's scene, you know.
12:22The scene at the lagoon?
12:24Yes. You're going to be there?
12:28Yes. I'm doing the stunts, remember?
12:31Of course.
12:32How could I forget?
12:34Delightful.
12:37Now Tarzan, this is the scene where you're supposed to swing out of the trees,
12:40do a triple somersault and land square on the elephant's back.
12:44Okay.
12:45I like your attitude, son.
12:47And action!
12:48Be gentle with me.
12:54What's that lunatic doing now?
12:58No!
13:06Stanley?
13:12Not bad, eh?
13:15What were you trying to do, get yourself killed?
13:18Here, take my hand.
13:20I don't need your help. I can do my own stunts.
13:23We have been through this, Stanley.
13:25We can't let you get hurt.
13:27Let me worry about that.
13:29If Stanley wants to do his own stunts, well...
13:31Don't be ridiculous, Tarzan my boy.
13:33You are cinematic gold.
13:35Stanley, you get these delusions of grandeur out of your thick head
13:38and go practice your grunting.
13:41No.
13:42What did you say?
13:43I said no.
13:44Either I get to do my own stunts or I don't do the picture.
13:47All right, all right. Have it your way.
13:51You're fired!
13:53You can't do that. You still have to finish the movie.
13:55I am well aware of that, Stanley.
13:57Tarzan will be the new star of the picture.
14:00Well, fine then.
14:02Go ahead and ruin your movie with that glorified monkey.
14:05See if I care.
14:11Say, Tarzan, do you know anything about acting?
14:13No.
14:14Good!
14:15But what do I do?
14:16Well, you're playing a jungle man and you are a jungle man,
14:19so just act natural.
14:21I don't understand. Is this fiction or not?
14:23Of course it's fiction, except you're going to play yourself.
14:25Don't hungry, savage man bring food.
14:28But I don't talk this way.
14:30Sure you do!
14:31I can't wait to do the kissing scene.
14:36Kissing scene?
14:37You see, in this movie, you're in love with Naomi.
14:42But I'm in love with Jane.
14:44It's all right, Tarzan. It isn't real.
14:46It's just for the movie.
14:48Of course, if it weren't for the movie and you kiss so well...
14:51I'd have to feed you both to the leopards.
14:54This is very confusing.
14:56And downright disturbing.
15:12That was amazing, Tarzan.
15:14How do you do that yell, Tarzan?
15:16You're going to be a big star, Tarzan.
15:18Get lost, Tarzan.
15:20Bye-bye, savage man.
15:25Burn, baby, burn.
15:39Help!
15:43This is the big romantic scene.
15:45You've just met the woman of your dreams.
15:48And action!
15:50I never thought I could love a savage man.
15:55Fire.
15:56Yes, flames of passion.
15:58I feel it, too.
16:00No, fire.
16:01Hey!
16:02Hey!
16:03You can't just leave me stuck up here in this tree.
16:06This isn't in the script.
16:08But keep rolling.
16:11Don't just sit there. Go after him.
16:13Imagine the footage.
16:19No, no, this building first.
16:24Hurry!
16:25What happened?
16:26Quickly, help me collect water.
16:28Fire, fire!
16:29Help us!
16:31Mon Dieu, this building is full of explosives.
16:34Oh, no.
16:35We're dead.
16:36We're dead.
16:37Oh, boy.
16:39We owe you one, buddy.
16:41Yeah, just add it to our tab, would you?
16:43Shh, do you hear that?
16:45No.
16:54Tarzan?
16:58Tarzan?
16:59Tarzan?
17:00Tarzan?
17:01Tarzan?
17:02Tarzan?
17:03Tarzan?
17:04Tarzan?
17:05Tarzan?
17:06Tarzan?
17:08Tarzan?
17:10Tarzan?
17:14Tarzan?
17:16Tarzan, go!
17:18Leave me here.
17:19This is my fault.
17:21I burned the film.
17:22Why?
17:23To stop you from taking my place and becoming a big star.
17:27Is being a star so important?
17:29All I have is fame.
17:31Without that, I have nothing.
17:34So leave me here.
17:36I don't want to live in anonymity.
17:44Come on, Stanley.
17:46Help me.
18:01What's wrong?
18:02Are you all right?
18:03We thought you guys were goners for sure.
18:05What happened?
18:07Stanley...
18:10Saved me.
18:11What?
18:16Stanley...
18:17Big...
18:18Hero...
18:19Saved...
18:20Tarzan.
18:23Maybe you're a better stuntman than I thought, Stanley.
18:26I didn't know you had it in you.
18:28You are a hero.
18:29Hey, it's got to be in all the papers back home.
18:33No, it was nothing.
18:35Really.
18:36For me.
18:37Please, stand back and give Tarzan some air.
18:45Ah, Monsieur Ormond.
18:47Leaving so soon?
18:48Ah, yes.
18:49Since all of my film burned up in your trading post,
18:51I need to go home and sweet-talk the studio heads.
18:54Ah, yes.
18:55As a matter of fact,
18:56we have determined that the fire was caused by your film.
19:00Will you be paying for the damage by check?
19:02Oh, now hold on a second there, Frenchie.
19:04Your death trap is what caused this fire.
19:06Haven't you people ever heard of fire codes?
19:09Let us refrain from insults, please.
19:13Think they'll work it out eventually.
19:15Not a cent!
19:16You will not get one penny out of me!
19:19Have it your way.
19:20Lars, Snake.
19:23How do you spell Renard?
19:25Listen, Tarzan.
19:26Thank you for what you did.
19:28You really are a great actor.
19:31You should come to Hollywood.
19:33We could use more people like you.
19:35Ah, no thanks.
19:36I like my real life here.
19:38Well, there goes your big chance to be a movie star.
19:40You could have had a legion of adoring fans,
19:43not to mention gorgeous leading ladies.
19:45I already have.
19:46I'm not a movie star.
19:48So now you understand about fiction, hmm?
19:50Maybe a little.
19:51I'd say more than a little.
19:53Stanley, big hero.
19:55Save Tarzan, hmm?
19:57Likely story.
19:59I don't know what you mean.
20:00You must think your wife to be very dim indeed.
20:03Come on.
20:04Jane hungry.
20:05Tarzan bring food.