A pulp fiction writer named Ed comes to the jungle in search of inspiration, and finds it in Tarzan.
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00:00Dear Mr. Dobre, since I seem unable to complete the job to your satisfaction, I hereby resign
00:09as a writer for your publications, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:12I rejected your Outlaw of Torn manuscript and you want to quit on me?
00:15I rewrote it twice and you still didn't like it.
00:18Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer.
00:20Nonsense, Ed.
00:21You're a great writer.
00:22I loved your first book.
00:23A Princess of Mars was one of our all-time bestsellers.
00:26Yeah, beginner's luck.
00:28I just don't have it anymore.
00:30You know what you need, Ed?
00:31Inspiration.
00:32Inspiration?
00:33Sure.
00:34You know, you're just walking down the street and bam, an idea hits you.
00:41Inspiration.
00:43Inspiration.
00:45Inspiration.
00:51Mysterious jungle man, is he the missing link?
00:56Inspiration.
01:07Savage jungle man, lives in trees, talks with apes.
01:11Oh, this is great stuff.
01:14Here we go.
01:15Dr. Samuel T. Philander.
01:19Okay, doctor, I start with you.
01:26Number nine, number nine, number nine.
01:37What do you want?
01:38Uh, I, I, I'm...
01:40Are you Samuel T. Philander?
01:43Who wants to know?
01:45I was hoping that I could speak to you about this article you wrote.
01:48The one about the missing link.
01:51Quickly, quickly.
01:52Go.
01:56Yes, um, sorry about that.
01:59But there's an awful lot of riff-raff about, so one can't be too careful.
02:04Philander, I know you're in there, you snake.
02:07No more excuses, you hear me?
02:09I want that rent money, and I want it today.
02:11Or I'm throwing you and your junk out on the street.
02:14You'd think having a scientific genius living in this hole would be a reward enough for the man.
02:19What did you say your name was again?
02:21Ed.
02:22Ed.
02:23So, Ed, you come to see me about the missing link, have you?
02:27Yes, I read your article, and I thought it was very interesting.
02:31You see, I'm a writer, and...
02:32As fascinating as your life story is, I'm sure.
02:36My kind of research is very expensive.
02:39And the grants have been a little scarce lately, Ed, so...
02:44Oh, oh, yes, of course.
02:48All right, well, I met the missing link Tarzan.
02:51While on expedition to Africa.
02:54Tarzan?
02:55Yes, Ed, but don't get ahead of me.
02:58Archimedes Q. Porter had disappeared in the African jungle,
03:01and I was determined to rescue my dear colleague.
03:04I found my old friend in no time at all.
03:07It was a heartfelt reunion.
03:11Archimedes Q. Porter!
03:13Still in a tangle, I see.
03:16Samuel T. Philander, you cad!
03:18What are you doing here?
03:20Oh, Archim, you don't expect me to tell you all about my big jungle discovery, do you?
03:26Well, I... Oh, big discovery?
03:29Oh, yes. History-making, I'd say.
03:32Surprised you haven't stumbled across it yet.
03:35Well, actually, Samuel, I've found quite a number of remarkable things.
03:40Oh, is this one of them?
03:42What's he supposed to be, the missing link?
03:44Sir, that is my son-in-law.
03:47And that's when I first met Tarzan.
03:50Oh, congratulations, James.
03:53He's exactly the kind of man I expected you to marry.
03:56Well, nice chatting, Archie.
03:59But I'm off to do my science. Ta-ta!
04:02But that's not the real story.
04:04While there, using my shrewd scientific senses...
04:07What's old Porter up to in there?
04:10I don't know, Professor, but he's something very small.
04:17Go away! Go on! Don't get up an order!
04:20What's he waiting on? Come on, man, make your move!
04:35You're a crafty devil, Porter.
04:41No, wait, wait! I see something.
04:43Looks like Archie's on the move.
04:45Quickly, now!
04:49What's that sound?
04:51The sound of a primordial world, I'd wager.
05:02Now, what do you suppose this is all about?
05:08I discovered something beyond my wildest dreams.
05:12Dinosaurs!
05:14Excuse me?
05:16Did you say dinosaurs?
05:19Here, my dissertation on Pellucidar.
05:23Pellucidar? What's that?
05:25An ancient underground world of dinosaurs!
05:29Ah, dinosaurs.
05:32Uh-huh. Yes! Living, breathing remnants of an ancient age.
05:37You see, they live in a massive underground cavern long hidden from the world.
05:44I immediately grasped the historic significance of this find and sought to document it.
05:52I wasn't looking for any personal glory, mind you.
05:56Marvelous creature.
05:59Simply extraordinary.
06:02And guess which one of us has proof that it exists.
06:07My only desire was to share this important discovery with the entire world.
06:12Gentlemen, what we'll see here today is no less than undeniable proof that dinosaurs still walk the earth.
06:19Ah, skeptics, eh?
06:21Well, show the first slide.
06:25That is... well, that's obviously not a dinosaur.
06:28Um, that's a baby baboon. It shouldn't be here. Sorry.
06:31All right. Next slide!
06:35Charming.
06:37Next slide!
06:39That is the...
06:41baboon's posterior.
06:43Curse Tarzan! Curse him and his nefarious monkey friend!
06:48Well, Doctor, I've kept you long enough.
06:51You don't believe me, do you?
06:53No, no, no, no. I'm sure the savage wild man did indeed show you real, live dinosaurs.
07:00You're laughing at me! Just like they did at the Academy!
07:03Get out! Out! Out!
07:06You sneak it all you want, but someday the world will drop to the ground and kiss the feet of Dr. Samuel T. Flanders!
07:14Where's my money?
07:18So much for inspiration.
07:22Hey, Ed. Selling any stories lately?
07:24Uh, no, actually. I haven't sold anything for a while now.
07:28Well, I always like your stories, Ed. They always got, you know, creativity.
07:33So, what you working on now?
07:35This.
07:37Wild man, huh? Sounds interesting.
07:40Yeah, I thought so, too, but then I met with the guy who took the photo, and he's a certifiable nut.
07:45Well, nut or not, there's still a guy in a loincloth in this picture, right?
07:50Yeah, but I...
07:52And near as I can tell, those are real apes, right?
07:55That's true.
07:57Listen, I'm no writer, but if it was me, I'd go check it out a little more.
08:00You know what? You're right.
08:05All right, Tarzan. You're here somewhere, and I'm gonna find you.
08:15Excuse me. Uh, I was wondering if you two could help me find someone.
08:20Well, sure thing, pal. We're always game to help a fellow.
08:23Hey, what's up?
08:25Hey, what's up?
08:27Hey, what's up?
08:29Hey, what's up?
08:31Hey, what's up?
08:33Well, sure thing, pal. We're always game to help a fellow countryman.
08:35Stars and bars, we love them.
08:37Where you from, Tiny?
08:38Chicago.
08:39Chicago?
08:40Say, you don't happen to work for a guy who goes by the name of Joey The Shark, do you?
08:43Uh, no, never heard of him.
08:46Oh.
08:47Well, I'm just a writer looking for a story to tell.
08:49Stories? Hey, we got stories.
08:51Yeah, and lots of them.
08:53Actually, I was interested in a particular story, a legend, really.
08:56Well, you're in luck.
08:58That's right. We're legends in our own time.
09:00Right.
09:02See, we used to be in the Foreign Legion.
09:05Let me paint the picture.
09:07There we were, on the run from the evil Colonel Spockade.
09:10That's right, on the run and under the gun.
09:13Come on, we'll head north, towards Europe.
09:15You know, Paris, the Eiffel Tower, Croissant.
09:19Not so fast, Junior.
09:20That's exactly what they'll expect us to do.
09:22We'll head south instead.
09:24South?
09:25There's nothing that way but jungle.
09:27Exactly.
09:28They won't ever think to look for us there.
09:29Well, now why not?
09:30Because a couple of guys like us wouldn't
09:32last a minute in the jungle.
09:34You're a genius, Hooft.
09:35And that's why we'll stay one step ahead,
09:37you go, superior intellect.
09:39And who has that?
09:40Now, the jungle, she's a beautiful, fierce lady.
09:42Then what a lady.
09:43Ow.
09:44Oh.
09:45Oh.
09:46Ah.
09:48Not going to make it.
09:50You go on without me.
09:54OK, buddy.
09:57Go on without me.
09:58Yeah, go on without me.
09:59I can't go on without you.
10:00We're chained together.
10:01Yeah, right.
10:02OK, well, I'll go on without you then.
10:04Whoa.
10:05Whoa.
10:06Ah.
10:07Ah.
10:08Ah.
10:08Ah.
10:09Ah.
10:10Ah.
10:11Oh.
10:12We're alive.
10:12We're alive.
10:13We're alive.
10:14We're alive.
10:15We're alive.
10:16We're alive.
10:16We're alive.
10:17We're alive.
10:18We're dead.
10:19We're dead.
10:20Ah.
10:20Oh, boy.
10:21Ah.
10:22Ah.
10:23Ah.
10:24Oh, we almost bought the farm a few times.
10:26Yeah, if it hadn't been for old Tarzan swooping in.
10:29Wait a minute.
10:30Did you say Tarzan?
10:31Yeah, Tarzan, our good buddy.
10:34Is this him?
10:35Hey, there's nature boy.
10:37Not very photogenic, is he?
10:38Well, I say the camera has 10 pounds.
10:40You know the missing link?
10:42You're friends with him?
10:43Sure shooting.
10:44Like I was saying, if Tarzan hadn't swept in and say.
10:47Hold on there, Hugo.
10:49Now say, if this fellow's a writer looking to tell
10:51a story about a hero.
10:53Ah.
10:54Why not make him think we're the heroes?
10:56You catch on quick, junior.
10:58That's right, I do.
10:59Anyhoo, like Hugo was saying.
11:02If Tarzan hadn't swept in and gotten in the way.
11:05Oh, nice trapeze work there, pal.
11:07Thanks a lot.
11:08Yeah, you're a real swinging kind of guy.
11:11Dispatching your various jungle beasts
11:12would have been a breeze.
11:15Poor Tarzan.
11:16I guess he just doesn't have our raw, savage instincts.
11:20Whoa.
11:21Oh, hey, buddy.
11:22Nice catch.
11:23Sure, we're naturals to the jungle.
11:25Took to it right away.
11:26Yeah, not like Tarzan.
11:27He's still learning the ropes.
11:30Oh, faster, faster.
11:32Get out of his face already.
11:33He's got to go faster.
11:35Ugh.
11:37Look, you've got to come up here.
11:39The view is incredible.
11:44You know, the guy's heart's in the right place,
11:46but he's just not cut out for action the way we are.
11:49So Tarzan's just an ordinary man, huh?
11:53There's nothing at all special about him?
11:55Well, I mean, he does need a haircut.
11:58Listen, it's all raised by apes legend.
11:59Kind of just snowballed out of control.
12:01Yeah, we're not even sure if it's true.
12:03I mean, his bum may have been half lemur.
12:05Fact is, there's just not that much to Tarzan.
12:08But if you're searching for the stars of your next adventure.
12:11Look no farther, my good man.
12:13Yeah, now let's talk about royalties for a second here,
12:15shall we?
12:16I figure we can get $0.50 on the dollar.
12:18Yeah, each.
12:19Oh, good thinking, Junior.
12:20Nothing.
12:22Came all this way for nothing.
12:24Very good, sir.
12:25Here is your ticket.
12:26The ship departs for New York in the morning.
12:28Good.
12:29Never should have come here in the first place.
12:31What's this?
12:32A dissatisfied customer?
12:34Oh, as the proprietor of this establishment,
12:37I am quite alarmed.
12:38No, it's nothing you did, Monsieur Dumas.
12:40It's all me.
12:42I came on a fool's quest looking for some crazy
12:44jungle man legend.
12:46It's probably not even true.
12:47Jungle man?
12:49You mean Tarzan?
12:50Yeah, that's him.
12:51Is he real?
12:52Oh, I should say so.
12:53I could tell you much about our jungle man.
12:56Please do.
12:58Sir, everything here is for sale,
13:01and nothing isn't.
13:03Yeah, a payoff, huh?
13:06Uh, my memory is still a bit foggy.
13:10Mm-hmm.
13:11What is it with everyone being so hard up for cash?
13:16Tarzan and I met under most unusual circumstances.
13:21I had come to Africa to build a dream,
13:24but my dream was Tarzan's nightmare.
13:30Why, if it isn't Tarzan, my favorite ape man.
13:35Now, boats will arrive at the dock.
13:37Main inventory will be housed in this room over here.
13:40You must leave.
13:41I beg your pardon?
13:43The rhino herd you drove off has moved into gorilla lands.
13:46I see.
13:48Then you will give the rhinos their land back.
13:50No, I won't.
13:53But the gorillas!
13:55As I told you before, I have no interest in gorillas,
13:58neither in harming them nor in helping them.
14:04You know you are a dangerous fellow, Tarzan.
14:07I believe you would be more valuable to me as a friend.
14:11If you stay, we will not be friends.
14:14Perhaps, but we don't have to be enemies either.
14:17I found that these were very effective in driving rhinos away.
14:22I could extend you a line of credit.
14:24Hmm.
14:26I never did learn how Tarzan used the dynamite.
14:30Have you seen Tarzan?
14:31Not since he got back from the trading post.
14:33What was he doing there?
14:35Probably still figuring a way to get rid of those rhinos.
14:40Explosives! The rhinos!
14:43Oh, my goodness, we have to stop him!
14:47Tarzan, you don't have to do this!
14:49Yes, I do.
14:56Look out!
15:10Oh, no!
15:17This will be your new home.
15:25Oh, this is incredible stuff!
15:27You know, monsieur, the best way to learn about Tarzan
15:30is to speak to the man himself.
15:32Me? Talk to Tarzan?
15:38I've got to talk with Tarzan. Where do I find him?
15:41In the jungle, naturally.
15:43Well, I could narrow your search for the proper prize.
15:47Yeah, don't worry, my friend. I'll find Tarzan myself.
15:51I mean, how hard can it be?
15:58Apparently, pretty hard.
16:01Oh, this was not one of my better ideas.
16:05Apparently, pretty hard.
16:08Oh, this was not one of my better ideas.
16:15Nope. Not a good idea at all.
16:26Uh-oh.
16:34You must be Tarzan.
16:36I am.
16:54Oh, that... that was amazing.
16:57Tarzan, I've never seen anything like it.
16:59You know me?
17:01I came halfway around the world to meet you.
17:08So, let me get this straight.
17:10You fought snakes...
17:15apes...
17:19rhinos...
17:25hyenas...
17:28alligators...
17:34elephants...
17:40hippos...
17:47leopards...
17:52and dinosaurs?
17:57Yes.
18:05So, the dinosaur stuff is real?
18:08Yes.
18:09I guess I owe Doc Philander an apology.
18:12Jane, is something wrong?
18:14Well, yes, a little.
18:16Ed, you seem to be fascinated with all the fighting, all the action,
18:20but if I may be so bold, I think you're missing the point.
18:23I am?
18:24Oh, yes, there's much more to Tarzan than fisticuffs and fury.
18:28You see, I certainly never expected to find myself living in the jungle
18:32with a wild man who'd been raised by apes.
18:35I like it.
18:38I still haven't got used to that entrance.
18:41And sometimes jungle life has been harder than I ever imagined it could be.
18:47Jane?
18:48I'm fine. Very fine.
18:50Doing quite well here.
18:55Can't carry you.
18:57Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
19:00I'm not some burden that needs to be carried everywhere.
19:06But Tarzan has been there every step of the way.
19:13Oh, you must be tired of doing that.
19:15Not really.
19:16Sharing the adventure of his world.
19:18I'm getting better, dude!
19:25You see, but Tarzan isn't the brute so many so-called civilized people think he is.
19:30Quite the contrary.
19:36He has the gentlest heart of anyone I've ever met.
19:42And if you don't understand that, well, then you don't understand Tarzan.
19:47Well, it appears there's much more to you than I initially thought.
19:52I came looking for a savage wild man, but I found a lot more.
19:57I found an inspiration.
20:06Well?
20:07Ed, this is the one they'll remember you for.
20:09You really think so?
20:10Absolutely, Ed.
20:12It's pure gold.